* Posts by Shadow Systems

150 posts • joined 26 Jul 2007

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Fancy six months of security nirvana for free? Read on...

Shadow Systems

@1980...

I am Totally Blind & do not read Braille.

A Command Line is fine if you know what's going on, know what to expect, & don't have a need to constantly re-read the presented data in order to do what you want to do. For example, writing an email might be done easily enough if you know the syntax required to do so. But if you do NOT know what's coming, what to expect, or have to constantly re-read the presented data, than a CLI is a very painful way to interact with the computer. Do you know the keystrokes required to make it re-read the screen? No? Then how about the keystrokes needed to bring up a help file that gives those commands? If the answer to that last one is ALSO no, then we're done. Because I can't simply RTFM to find said data until & unless the computer is *already* configured to read the screen.

I would love to go back to using *Nix, I used Ubuntu & Debian at various points & found them very nice to use, but until & unless they get a Screen Reader that Just Works, and one that comes preconfigured to start talking the moment I slip that DVD into the drive to install it, I'm stuck using Windows.

Because if the Bootstrap doesn't have a Talking Environment as well, I can't see the screen to know when to press the Function Keys to activate the Boot Menu, can't see to select the appropriate menu item to boot from the DVD, can't see to know when/if the DVD wants my input, and can't see to do *anything* with/to it until/unless it starts that Screen Reader Environment.

Now do you see my problem?

If I want a *Nix system, I either have to buy it preconfigured to talk the moment I turn it on, or find a local Sighted Geek willing to do it for me, because I can't see to do it myself. I need the Screen Reader working in order to install the OS that's required to run the Screen Reader in the first place.

*FacePalmFrustratedSigh*

I use a standard keyboard & no mouse, a Screen Reader (the aforementioned Jaws), and either a set of external speakers or a set of headphones. I have a monitor for those times I need a Sighted Person to tell me WTF my computer is doing that it refuses to tell me about, otherwise the monitor isn't even *plugged in* the other 99.9999% of the time. (It makes me laugh when the ComCast Tech has a shit fit when they can't use my computer because they can't see the screen. Makes me want to chortle "Sucks to be Sighted, eh?" but I refrain. *Cough*)

But the Screen Reader is a requirement. No Braille, just the Screen Reader.

*Thwock* Ball's back in your court. =-)

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Shadow Systems

@1980s_coder Re: A real OS.

You want me to use a "real" OS? Fine. Find me one with a Screen Reader that Just Works. Because the last time I checked Orca wasn't there yet, the Vinux Project had gotten better but still had a long way to go, and I can't afford to buy anything with an Apple logo.

For someone Disabled & needing a Screen Reader to use the computer, our options are severely limited, and we're pretty much stuck with Windows.

It's difficult enough fixing issues on a Windows machine when you've had a few decades of experience doing it as a Sighted Person, suddenly finding yourself Blind, & reliant on a product like Jaws from FreedomScientific.com.

Trying to fix issues on an OS we're not even *remotely* familiar with, through a confusing interface, and praying that we don't screw things up even worse because we can't see what the hell we're doing... Well, that's a bit of a hurdle that tends to slam us in the face when we can't see it coming.

So Please, if you have a "real" OS with a Screen Reader that Just Works, let me know what it is, where I can get it, & when you'll be over to install it, configure it, & teach me how to use it. Otherwise I'll be forced to use the Real World OS that *already* does what I need it to do, even if I loathe Microsoft with an incandescent hatred bordering on homicidal urges & psychotic cackling fits...

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Idiot thieves walk free after stolen iPad uploads pics of them with loot

Shadow Systems

Re: The punishment

Harsh? Not by a LightYear. Caught red handed, admitted to the crime, & they get off with *Community Service*? Fuck that. Drop them in Public Stocks & let folks get to beat the shit out of them with Nerf Bats on a daily basis until the bastards have figured out why their actions were fucking stupid. You want harsh? Be glad it's not the Middle East where the punishment would be the loss of the offending hand, a hundred lashings, & a constant daily reminder to you & everyone around you that you were guilty of being a Thief. Merely keeping them away from alcohol? That's not harsh, that's touchy feely bullshit at work.

I'd feel better if the victim gave the pricks a swift kick in the junk every time they showed up to make a repayment installment on the crime. Just a friendly reminder why what they did shouldn't be done again. You know, _Punishment_.

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Apple's Tim Cook and Salesforce's Marc Benioff DECLARE WAR on anti-gay Indiana

Shadow Systems

@Jai: Is the Shiawase Corporation happening already?

I thought we still had a few years yet before that was due to come to pass? If they're getting an early start on that whole FusterCluck, I need to move hoop to stockpile as much APDS rounds, Panther rounds, MedKit Supplies, & Trauma Patches I can find.

Thanks for the tip Chummer, I'll find some PayData to sling your way in gratitude...

Mines the one with the NovaTech ComLink in the pocket... =-)p

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Bad movie: Hackers can raid networks with burnt Blu-Rays

Shadow Systems

Re: "... avoid playing Blu-Ray discs from untrusted origins ..."

Untrusted source? That would be the MPAA? =-)p

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A truly SHOCKING tale of electrified PCs

Shadow Systems

House call, dirty PC, & cats...

I was working Freelance Tech in my spare time, helping folks maintain, repair, troubleshoot, & purchase computers. Get a call from a rather nice young lady complaining that her computer isn't working right, asking if I can come take a look. I grab my tools & software, head on over, & knock on the door. The first thing I notice when she opens the door is that she looks like someone tried to stuff her head-first through an industrial shredder, the second thing is that her breasts aren't the only thing covered in scratches, and the third thing is that the place _reeks_ of cat.

We're talking "nobody's cleaned the litterbox in a year" plus "we microwave it every night to make it go all gooey" style stench.

I try to smile politely around the urge to hjorf up my guts, ask to see the computer, and she takes me through Cat Central to her computer desk. You know the proverbial "old woman with a thousand cats" image people like to paint? She only had two cats, but they were trying to make up for quantity by the quality of the stench they exuded.

I sit down at the desk, take one look at the mid-tower on the floor beneath her desk, & try very hard not to start laughing my nuts off. There's so much cat hair in it, on it, around it, on top of it, & packed in around the sides that it looks like it's wearing a damned fur coat. I check that it's not turned on, unplug it, and drag it out into the light. It took FOUR CANS of compressed air to finally remove all the cat hair from the vents, and when I opened up the case to give a go to the interior, we found out where the cats had been leaving all the dead mice.

I ended up taking the machine outside, turning it upside down over the trash can, & shaking out all the corpses.

Bring it to her garage, disassemble the machine, & used my various cleaning brushes, cotton swabs dipped in mineral oil, and about six Earth orbit's length of paper towels to clean it to the point where it no longer smelled like cat.

Make sure it's dry, put it back together, take it back inside, plug it back in, & fire it up.

Her first reaction was "WOW! I didn't know it ((the case)) was beige!" nearly made me wince, but her second "Holy Shit! It's already booted?!" made me chortle.

I had to explain to her why letting it get so full of cat hair (and mouse entrails) was a Very Bad Idea, and to keep it clean.

I ended up making $100(USD) on the call, and got a rather nice memory of mamories, but the smell will haunt me 'till my death.

I'd trade her cats for mere electrocution any day... =-}p

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So long, Lenovo, and no thanks for all the super-creepy Superfish

Shadow Systems

Re: They shot themselves in the head

It is unlikely the Server side of Lenovo will suffer from the Consumer laptops being infected with a security threat on par with the Sony Rootkit debaucle. Enterprise/Corporate purchasers don't buy the Consumer versions of the laptops, they buy the Business versions, and if you're buying Lenovo Servers then you've got the cash to tell Lenovo *EXACTLY* what software gets installed on those 1,500 new laptops you'll be acquiring.

Business grade laptops purchased in your typical corporate purchase schema don't get a lot of cruft slapped on them, primarily because the people doing the buying have the power to say "Loo, that program is crap. Don't include it or we'll take this purchase order somewhere else." If you're looking at a slip of paper potentially worth a million bucks in a single purchase order, you bend over backwards to make the customer happy so they'll give that paper/money to you rather than your competition.

The Average Joe on the street buying a Consumer grade machine as a single unit purchase doesn't have the power that a Corporation with a million dollar purchase on the line does, so Average Joe gets the security flaws while the Corporation gets what they want, only what they want, and not a bit nor byte more.

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Shadow Systems

Cue the ClassAction lawsuits in 3... 2... 1...

California USA is already "sue happy" with reguards to shit as lowball as being served a cup of hot coffee from McDonalds, so having your computer manufacturer preload the machine with a verified security risk that facilitated ID Theft? Oh yeah, Lenovo is going to get nailed to a wall by it's scrotum & used like a piñata at a Chav's birthday party.

I'll go get the popcorn if someone else will bring the lawn chairs...

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IBM chasing ex-staffers for $20 payments

Shadow Systems

And then demand arbitration.

Even if you lose, it'll cost the company even more money to pay for the arbitration, which means you've just shafted them for the cost of that as well. Then refuse to pay either the initial bill or the cost of the arbitration, demanding they take you to small claims court. Refuse to go to court so they get a summary judgement against you. They'll have to spend even more money to try & get your current finances (Unemployment insurance) docked for the money. You know, the Unemployment Insurance that your ex employer has to pay you for firing you? Yeah, those funds. Which means the employer will have to pay court costs to file the paperwork against itself to legally garnish part of your Unemployment cheque. All because you refuse to pay them the bullshit bill they tried to stick you with because they're cheap ass bastards.

"Hey! Have fun spending thousands of dollars to get me to pay you a Twenty! And while you're at it, I'll be over here pissing in your Cheerio's! HA!"

*Cough*

Don't mind me, I'm just a Creatively Vindictive Bastard.

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Turbocharged quad-core Raspberry Pi 2 unleashed, global geekgasm likely

Shadow Systems

@diodesign re availability...

"Just wait until morning..."

NO! I want it now! NowNowNow!

*Comical, over the top, utterly pointless & child-like whiney temper tantrum*

Want my new shiny & I want it NOW!

WAAAaaaahhh!

*SarcasticCough*

Don't mind me, squirrels have eaten my brain again...

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Ugly, incomplete, buggy: Windows 10 faces a sprint to the finish

Shadow Systems

@Max Normal.

I wondered that as well.

My desktop doesn't include a microphone so there's no way that voice-activated resource-gobbler will ever know what I've been calling it while I search for how to uninstall the piece of shite.

I will immediately disable all Indexing & Search functions, as all they do is waste HD space, system resources, & are a crutch for those whom can't be bothered to put an icon on the desktop. (Seriously, while you're using WindowsKey & typing for the Search to find what you want, WindowsKey+M to the desktop, first letter of the shortcut, and go from there, or set a Shortcut so you can just ControlAltN to launch Notepad for example.)

I'm not too impressed with what I've heard so far about the new Win10, as most (if not all) of what I hear is essentially cosmetic. It doesn't matter how hard you polish that sucker, it's still just a lump of dung.

Oh, and for the Register's writer to criticize MS on their UI choices is just hilarious. MS has Metro, ElReg has their homepage. Pot meet Kettle.

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Never mind those touch apps, full Office 2016 is coming this year

Shadow Systems

All I want to know is...

...do we get a proper Menu back, or are you sticking to that cluster fuck of a "Ribbon" UI? It's not Accessible, even my Sighted Friends & Family can't stand the bloody thing, and we could all get our work done in a more fluid & intuitive manner if you just gave us a classic menuing UI to use.

Even if it's just a "Use Classic or Modern" radio option, if we have the choice of what UI theme to use, then we can use the one that fits our workflow rather than try to relearn all the keyboard shortcuts to figure out where the hell you've hidden $Function again.

Seriously, Alt+F to open the menu, Right Arrow to the Edit section, and Arrow Down until we find the Sort function may have taken a bit versus SightedFolks using the mouse to clickclickclick straight to it, but the damned Ribbon makes it fucking impossible to do even the most basic of tasks. I've had to use NotePad++ to do any word processing, because Microsoft Word 2010 "Professional" is anything *BUT* Professional. It's a pain in the ass, the Ribbon sucks monkey bung, and we want a classic menu back...

But what the fuck do I know? I'm just a paying customer whom will wait to hear if that ribbon is back before making my purchasing descision. If that ribbon is back, or gods forbid something worse, then MS can kiss my money goodbye. And NO, I will NOT get an Office365 subscription - I like keeping my data local, under my own control, and NOT spaffed in some imbicillic "cloud" for everyone & their dog to data mine, Thankyouveryfuckingmuch. I'll spend my money on something that can open/save MS Office formats, but does NOT treat me like a crayon snorting Yoof. I hear Jarte is such a company worthy of my coin.

*Cough*

So, seriously Microsoft, give us a classic menu option for the UI. No ribbon, no touchy bullshit, no Metro/Modern ejaculate from the loins of a diseased MyLittlePony, just a simple, intuitive, sane Alt Menu that lets me get my damned work done.

I'd ask if that was too hard to code, but given your "progression" from "Ribbon" to "Metro", your track record is headed distinctly downhill...

In a rocket sled with the throttle shoved to the stops.

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Ad agency Turn turns off Verizon's zombie cookies

Shadow Systems

Dear Scumvertiser...

You claim that our deleting the cookie isn't proof that we don't want to be tracked.

Then neither is that Restraining Order any indication that you don't want me stalking you & your family, videotaping your every bodily function, standing in the shower with your wife/daughter, checking to see what brand of shampoo she uses while shaving her pubes.

Fuck off and die.

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Want a cheap Office-er-riffic tablet? Microsoft Windows takes on Android

Shadow Systems

A serious question for a change...

Given that I'm totally blind & need to use a Screen Reader Environment (SRE) in order to interact with the device, does Win8.x have a built-in SRE that doesn't devour system resources like a starving Hollywood actress at an All You Can Eat buffet, or does the system have the computational horsepower to run a 3rd party SRE such as Jaws from Freedom Scientific?

Because with only 1Gb of ram, I'm concerned that the device would turn into a veritable TukTuk towing the Titanic as far as internal latencies are concerned ("I pushed a button twenty minutes ago, so I've only got another ten left to go before it lets me know I've pressed it!") while trying to run the SRE in the background along with any other programs.

If a device like this can run the SRE without excessive difficulty/latency, then I'd be tempted to buy such a device to try my hand with a tablet. If it can't (too much churn & burn to run the SRE at the same time), then I'll have to just save my money to buy a proper laptop.

But I'm really curious about tablets, since I don't need the screen resolution (a low resolution screen is fine, and saves CPU/RAM for the other more important tasks) but need something that can multitask the SRE & whatever else I may run.

I'd considered Android devices but TalkBack doesn't seem to help with the fact that the "gear icon" for Settings couldn't be found at all no matter how long I dragged my fingers around the screen. (No Settings means I can't tweak the device to my needs, nor re-run the Tutorials to learn how to USE the bloody thing.)

I'd use an Apple device, but I'm not filthy stinking obscenely rich enough to afford throwing $1K at a device in the *hopes* that I can use it without having to pimp slap Siri into behaving. "What do I want to do? I want to re-read the screen, you stupid whore! GAH!" *Cough*

Anyway, is this Windows tablet something that can multitask the SRE, or should I just buy a laptop?

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THREE vans and FIVE people: that's what Telstra needs to fix one fault

Shadow Systems

So "An Act of God"...

...results in An Act of Plods?

I'll get my coat.

=-)p

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Comcast sued for – you guessed it – allegedly SCREWING OVER CUSTOMERS

Shadow Systems

Comcast sucks schweaty monkey bung.

From shafting their customers for every last penny (Oh look, my modem rental fee has gone up again on a modem they refuse to sell me), service that bites the big one (my tracert's show that my signal goes over 200 Miles out of it's way before coming back to make the ~50 Mile journey to the nearest Internet BackBone in Silicon Valley, and Comcast "can do nothing about it" even though I end up dropping signal from the 1 Full Second ping times), and "Customer Service" that goes so far beyond mere Unprofessional that it makes Cerberus look like a cute & cuddly puppy by comparison.

If I had any *real* competition in the area for broadband internet service, I'd ditch Comcast so fast it would make their head spin (a good trick given how firmly up it's own ass it's wedged), but when my "options" are paying AT&T to upgrade the copper to my house so they then overcharge me to provide mere DSL, or pay Verizon for a cellular modem & data plan that will rape me for every kilobyte they struggle to throttle my way, or the OH so lovely satellite providers that tell me I'll need to cut down my neighbors' trees if I want a clear signal...

And Comcast wants to merge with the Second Worst cable company in the nation, as if the "MegaComcast" won't STILL be The Worst Company In America?

Someone please take Comcast out back & put a bullet through it's head. We don't let feral dogs last this long, so why should Comcast still be wasting our oxygen?

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El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

Shadow Systems

@noominy.noom.

They removed their links because they don't want the readers to inundate them with hate filled emails due to the crappy redesign.

I mean, hideously huge pictures that do nothing but eat up precious screen space, fixed width spaces that leave giant swaths of screen empty, ads everywhere, colours that were evidently chosen by a cocaine-addled crayon-muncher, no "Print" link, adding "print.html" to the end of the URL now results in a page just as full of the crap that the old style removed (you know, to make it something printable), and all the other mind numbingly stupid alterations they made... that over a thousand comments telling them in no uncertain terms were generally vilified & detested, requested to be put back, hundreds of comments giving CSS hacks to undo the stupidity (or at least tone it down to an easier to tolerate level), and complaints that no matter what size screen the visitor used to view the site it essentially ignored the user settings as far as resolution was concerned & just gave it to you as a third-screen strip down the middle... after all that, you'd think they'd get the hint, but no.

Instead they fiddle with the background colour, tweak the link colour, and call it done.

Don't bother waiting for any of them to reply to you. Even if one of them comes down off their High Horse to talk to the mere peasants (that would be all of us Readers to whom those advertisements are aimed at), their reply will be "we'll think about it" at best, "tough shit, it stays" at worse. And to add insult to injury, they'll take a function that used to work, screw it fifteen ways to Sunday, and turn it into something that not only no longer works but actively shits on your experience.

So give them a golf clap for their efforts, then give them The Finger for having done it.

It's what they've done to us.

As a long time Reader, I can only say that *IF* I decide to continue reading the site, it'll be done with all their ads blocked, images turned off, Scripting turned off, and a CSS in place to make the site Accessible to my Screen Reader for the Blind.

As it stands now, the design team has taken the DDA out back, held it down, shat in it's mouth, and kicked it square in the crotch to make it swallow the "Christmas gift".

Kiss your ad revenue goodbye guys, you've pissed off the Readers so much they've generated the CSS & AdBlock rules required to negate them entirely. How's that reflecting in your bottom line? How's that massive hit to the bottom line feel? Hopefully it's as big a pain in the ass to you as your UI cluster fuck has been to us, your Readers.

Because without us you're nothing, and pissing us off is a great way to become the next Geocities.

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Shadow Systems

The Slashdot comparison is an apt one.

They tried to force the UI change down everyone's throats & got their users pissed off enough to start the #FuckBeta campaign as a result. Every article, every comment section, flooded with that HashTag just to show the Slashdot Overlords *exactly* how much their heavy handed action had been received.

How long did it take for them to realize that pissing off your user base is exactly the *WRONG* way to increase ad revenue? I mean, it doesn't take Rocket Surgery to figure out that one, does it?

So for ElReg to do essentially the same thing & not even allow us to manually return to the classic format, is even MORE heavy handed than Slashdot's stupidity.

I wonder how long before the $FuckTheNewElReg style protest tag appears? And more importantly, how long before they listen to us & accept that, after Thirteen Pages of comments, they're looking at a nearly 99% hostile reception.

And the few replies we have gotten amount to "We'll think about it" which is a "Fuck off" if I've ever heard one. =-(

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Shadow Systems

Visit FreedomScientific.com

The Jaws program is a free download & functions indefinitely in "40 minute Demo Mode" until/unless you pay to register/unlock it. Otherwise it runs normally for 40 minutes then shuts up until after you reboot. Thus, theoreticly, you could use it forever as long as you reboot every 40 minutes of it's use.

It's an expensive program, and has an annoying learning curve, but it's a hell of a lot nicer than not being able to use the computer at all.

There are other SRE's out there such as NonVisualDesktopApplication (NVDA), but Jaws is the leader of the pack.

No I'm not an employee of FreedomScientific, I'm just a thankful customer whom appreciates when Sighted Folks express an interest in finding out just how much <Sarcasm>Fun</Sarcasm> life can be when you have to use a SRE to get anything done.

The best way to experience it is to install the SRE, launch it, then turn off the monitor. No peeking, no non-audio hints, "If it doesn't get read, it doesn't exist." Now go back & listen to $Site/$Program & *think* about how hellish it would be to have to do that Every. Single. Time., Every. Single. Day.

Thank you. =-)

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Shadow Systems

Bring back the Print button!

I am Totally Blind. I use Jaws from Freedom Scientific, a Screen Reader Environment (SRE) that allows me to interact with what would normally be viewed if I had Sight.

The spread across multiple pages, constant reloading of repetitious elements (Navigation bars, menus, graphics, etc) wastes time, bandwidth, and resources that could be better geared towards handling the content.

Thus I use the Print Button Every. Single. Visit.

It removes the cruft & crap that slows down the SRE, it turns it all into a single, easily parsed/read unit, and only loads all the time-sucking elements Once.

Sure you Sighted Folks may be able to visually skim past the parts that are redundant, but with a SRE that's not a workable solution: since we can't see the bits to skip past them, we're forced to listen to the SRE announce Every. Single. One. Every. Single. Time.

Think about that a second. What might LOOK like a pretty line of icons & buttons and menu items to you, SOUNDS like absolute nonsense to anyone reliant on a SRE to read it to us.

Drag N' Drop elements we can't use at all (can't use a mouse because can't see to aim it), Drop Down Menu's that we can't use (no mouse means no OnMouseOver either), the pictures with names that mean fuck all ("IMG_123456789-192px-by-213px_Brbble.jpg" is not proper Alt Text & does nothing to let the SRE user know what it might be a link to), and all the other crap that makes it a PITA (PIT Ear?) for SRE users to navigate.

Obviously the color scheme means nothing to me, as do the font sizes, white spaces, and all the other Visual Only cruft that you've evidently inflicted upon your Sighted Visitors. But if I could, I'd probably be very busy right now cobbling up a personal CSS to override the crap you've foisted upon us.

So please bring back the Print Button & it's functionality. Those of us using a SRE to Access the site use it constantly, thus belying your claims that it's "never used & won't be missed".

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The Shock of the New: The Register redesign update 4

Shadow Systems

,And now you've fucked the Print view.

It went from being a clean, easily parsed by my Screen Reader Environment, to being filled with all the bloat that turns it into an unreadable cluster fuck.

Instead of the Title, a blank line, the original URL, and then the content, now I've got all the bullshit like a Search function & Social Media crap to wade through first, and you break the article with the "related content" that belongs AFTER the fucking article, not in the bloody MIDDLE of it.

Fuck you & the Design Team.

I hope your readership numbers flush themselves down the toilet & the ad revenue implodes as further proof of the absolute, mind boggling, infinitely fucked in the head with a double decker BUS, Epic Fuck Up that you've turned the site into.

I hope a EU Blind Citizen invokes the DDA to sue the fucking pants off you arseholes, bends you over a table, & JACK KNIFES that bus up your ass.

It might be a tight fit, what with your HEADS already being wedged up in there so firmly.

*Infinitely Rude Gesture*

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Shadow Systems

@KeithPeter re Top Links.

As far as Jaws is concerned, there are No Such Accessibility Links. The words "Print", "Accessibility", and "Content" do not appear on this page, or if they do they are not links.

Thus I am forced to manually add "Print.Html" to the end of every URL, because it doesn't appear that the site's designers Give A Fuck about their blatant disreguard for the DDA.

As for the Braille printers, I am aware of them & have seen them used (back when I could still see), but due to other health issues (Insulin Dependant Diabetic) I don't have the tactile sensitivity needed to read Braille. (Multiple daily finger pokes for blood sugar tests plays merry hell with one's ability to feel the tiny bumps.)

But yes, if I could read Braille, I'd have a BrailleWriter printer & be able to read my own print outs. =-)

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Shadow Systems

@Swarthy re the Print link.

For those of us whom are Totally Blind & using a Screen Reader Environment (SRE), the page that results from clicking the Print link is Accessible as far as the DDA is concerned. The SRE can read it without puking, and since all the images (which I can't see anyway) and back end code only has to be loaded once, the SRE can actually do it's job. Merely telling my computer to print the page does nothing to render the page Accessible, and since I don't have a printer, all a Control+P does is throw up an error box to install a printer first.

(What good is a printer to a blind person? We can't tell if it printed anything, can't see if the ink is going bad, and for all we know the printer is spitting out blank pages as it silently laughs at us. Printers are for folks whom can see to verify that anything got printed at all. And even if it DOES print, what am I supposed to do with it now? I can't see it to READ it either.)

So I'll UpVote you for being silly, but also make this reply to point out that there was a valid legal & technical reason for the return of the Print link. Cheers!

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Shadow Systems

Still no Print link?

A Control+F to Find "Print" returns no results on this page. Does that mean you'll not be bothering to comply with the DDA as far as Accessibility is concerned either?

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Buses? PAH. Begone with your filthy peasant-wagons

Shadow Systems

Damn you people are boring...

If I'm commuting solo then I simply slip on my patented MagicalRainbowRocketToeSocks and leap into the sky to fly where I want to go.

If I've got passengers or need to transport a load, I wake up my WingedMonkeyMinions, point them to the Litter, and make them earn their feed.

If the weather is too bad for my 'Socks, then I take the Litter which has the added benefit of letting me work while I commute. (This is not suggested while using your 'Socks as failure to watch where you're flying tends to result in slamming face-first into buildings, busses, the girl's locker room of the local athletic's club, etc.)

*Cough*

Now if you'll excuse me, weekend or not I have to get to work.

Go Go Rocket Socks! AWAAAA-

AAAGH! Fire! Fire! Help! I'm on Fire!

=-)p

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You have a 'SIMPLE QUESTION'? Well, the answer is NO

Shadow Systems

Dang it, where's the fun in that?

You didn't even point him at 4Chan, 2G1C, LemonParty, or Goats?

How are you supposed to get folks to stop pestering you for advice if you don't fek with their heads for doing it?

Like telling him he has to lick his finger in order to "turn the page" on that ipad, so one of the actual employees runs over screaming when they see some schmuck drooling on the screen?

Or giving the machine a hard reset & telling him that you'll be right back after getting (a chair, a glass of water, your reading glasses, whatever) and then leaving him there to explain to an employee why he's breaking the shiny toys?

Or if you knew you were going into that store, why not don the thin, clear plastic gloves with the greasy fingers, and goop up all the screens in the place? Toss the used gloves in the bin, grab the dongle, and head for the counter. You'll look like any other inquisitive customer, and when you approach the register with an item to purchase, they'll be too happy to remember your having touched everything along the way. This will make itself clear once you leave & the other customers start complaining that everything smells like arse ointment...

"Chaos, Confusion, & Death in my wake. My job is done here." isn't just a business slogan, it's the only way to survive!

...

*Cough*

I'd get my coat, but it seems to be fueling the fire over on aisle seven where that Yoof Chav and his buddies were standing. Now if you'll pardon me, I feel the urge to leave in a rather quickish stride.

*Grins*

17
0

Tor takes off the gloves after sustained staffer harassment

Shadow Systems

Re Microscopes under the desk

I didn't know they had managed to get Electron Microscopes down that far to fit them under desks! Color me impressed!

2
1
Shadow Systems

@Khaptain

I gave you an UpVote for being mature enough to admit when you had made the mistake. The trolling AC deserves a swift application of HVAC via alligator clamps across the earlobes, but since the site hasn't implemented the functionality yet to deliver electric shocks instead of mere DownVotes, I'll UpVote you & give Kudo's for your admission.

*Hands over a large tankard of coffee & a pastry*

3
0

Govt spaffs £170k to develop the INTERNET OF SHEEP

Shadow Systems

It's a ba-aa-aa-ad idea.

I think he's trying to pull the wool over your eyes, shepparding you to his way of thinking, and making ewe give him money to hound you.

Don't lay down around placidly for it, stand up, deny those barriers to your freedom, leap those fences and take your fluffy butts elsewhere.

*Cough*

I'll get my coat.

It's the one with the heavy woolen liner.

*Runs away*

8
0

Your data: Stolen through PIXELS

Shadow Systems

If the attacker has physical access, then it's no longer YOUR computer.

Rule number 1 of basic computer security. So if someone comes in & slaps a recording device (video, keyboard, etc) on the machine, you were screwed no matter WHAT they did, because they could just as easily stolen the unit altogether. Yes that would clue you in to change all the passwords once you found the unit missing, but would you have reacted in time? Or will the bastard already have gained access to your Root, set themselves up a couple of hidden Admin accounts, and thus gets to laugh at your attempts to lock them out of THEIR network now?

And I find it amusing that the IT department allows anyone to disconnect the cables, not employing a simple locking dongle between ports & cable. Can't unhook the dongle (locked to chassis), can't disconnect the cable (locked inside the dongle), thus removes any such attack vector. Hell, we were doing that to all the kit in our office over a decade ago, and we weren't even doing it to thwart outside attackers, rather to keep the grubby fingered employees from swiping the brand new monitors & exchanging them for their crappy CRT's from home. Thieving little bastards, and they wondered why we locked them out of their USB ports, too? Because you kept fucking installing virus' & infected shit! I swear to all the Nameless Gods of Cthulhu's arsehole that we were THIS >< close to switching you stupid fucks over to Thin Clients & making you suffer on Ten-Base-T networking JUST to teach you a lesson about not pissing off the IT department!

*Shakes a palsied fist*

Damned Whippersnappers! Now get off my LawnGnome!

18
1

E-cigarettes fingered as source of NASTY VIRUS

Shadow Systems

Use a "USB Condom".

It's a dongle that plugs into any USB port between the port & the device you want to plug in. The dongle connects ONLY the power leads from port to device, thus removing any data transfer capabilities. No data transfer means no infection means you can laugh in the face of that particular infection vector.

16
0

Go festive this year with Christmas carols, baby Jesus and CLITORAL STIMULATORS

Shadow Systems

You sir, are a freak. =-D

You mention your mom & vibrators in the same conversation?

*Dies laughing*

3
0

The Glorious Resolution: Feast your eyes on 5 HiDPI laptops

Shadow Systems

Re: too late, too expensive

I have to agree with both of you. I had a monitor that exceeded the 3Kx2K resolution stage over five years ago, and it wasn't considered a "top of the line" model back then. If I still had it, I'd be smug as hell over all these "4K" bastards whom think they're hot shit.

No, you're not *4K* as neither of the axis exceed 4K pixels, so just stop that shit right here, right now. I was doing "4K" over five years ago, and I only paid ~350 for the 32" beast from TigerDirect. So crowing over this supposedly "ultra sharp, high resolution" pseudo-4K crap is just showing your brains to be the consistency of porridge.

Damn it, we should be sporting resolutions in the 10Kx10K by now, and paying around ~500 for the ultra large screens that you can only find on tvs these days. A 13" laptop with 3Kx2K for ~1,200? Fuck that, I want a 6Kx3K for ~500, and it damn well better rock a video card with 4TB of dedicated RAM to power it, because that same 3Kx2K monitor I had was being pumped by a video card with 1GB of it's own RAM... Five Years Ago. So for us to be barely able to get "4K" out of today's cards, that MIGHT have 4GB on them IF you give up your First Born, and then only if you've sold off the Mrsus into slavery for the monitor to display it? What the hell?

This isn't progress, it's fucking us over for baby steps when we should be cruising along at Mach 2 or better.

11
0

AT&T to FTC: I'd like to see YOU install 1Gbps fiber across the US. Which we're still doing

Shadow Systems

Brilliant plan: Piss off the Government.

Government says it's considering reclassifying internet as a Title 2 Public Utility.

You respond by saying you're "pausing" your fibre plans unless the Government stops that process, claiming "it's too expensive".

Government calls your bluff & demands proof of your claims of expense.

You refuse to comply, claiming it's none of their business.

Kiss that DirectTV merger goodbye, and prepare for the Government to go full steam ahead with that reclassification.

Pissing off the regulators in charge of deciding your future is a GREAT way to shoot yourselves in the head.

9
0

Google Contributor: Ad-block killer – or proof NO ONE will pay for news?

Shadow Systems

Or use AdBlockers, a Hosts file, & NoScript for no ads whatsoever.

I don't want ads in my face, so I ignore them when they show themselves. If I'm listening to the tv & a commercial comes on, I get up & leave the room for a bit. Refill the drink, go to the bathroom, find out what the cat's gotten up to, whatever. I don't listen to the ads, you don't get my eyeballs, you don't get my business.

If I'm listening to the radio & an ad comes on, I switch the station. Scan until I find a song I like, listen until an ad starts to play, and hit the Scan again for more music.

If I'm listening to my own stored music, there's no ads at all, and damn does that make for an enjoyable listening experience.

If I'm online & someone shoves an ad in my face, I identify the domain serving it, add the domain to my Hosts file, refresh the page, & watch the ad go *POOF*. If it's not already blocked by the AdBlocker, NoScript, & Hosts file, and *still* manages to sneak through, those get sent to the Real Time Black Lists folks, and usually less than an hour later, that ad server gets nuked from my system; in the mean time, I ignore the ad, & probably add the site it appeared upon to my Personal Shit List.

I don't want to see the ads, I'm not PAYING to see ads, and I sure as fuck won't pay to NOT see ads. There are too many free ways to make sure they never appear.

Advertisers had their chance. I was fine with text based, non in-my-face ads that were relevant to my needs. But then you started the blinking, scrolling marquis, IN MY FACE, pop over/under, can't get rid of even after killing the browser, drive by virus installing, completely irrelevant to my needs *BULLSHIT* practices that earned you my eternal hatred. You fucked me over with a virus, you no longer get loaded by my computer. ANY computer I manage. Ever. Fuck you and the Sales & Marketing degree that you floated to the surface upon. Pardon me while I flush your worthless pile of shit back down where you belong.

23
1

Fake antivirus scams: It's a $120m business – and alleged ringleaders have just been frozen

Shadow Systems

Ninite is excellent & above bar.

They do exactly what they say, don't include spyware of any kind, and are so well done that I have paid for the Professional level to show my support.

You go through the list of programs the installer supports (and it's a long list), check all the boxes that you want, and click the "Download" button.

The regular version is just a small auto-fetch file that goes out, finds each of the programs you checked, grabs their latest version, and installs them one by one until it's done. You may need a reboot or two, depending on the software being installed, and a check of Windows Update afterwards is a good idea.

The Professional allows you to grab specific versions of the program(s) you've checked, so it installs the prefetched versions instead of the latest version(s). This is useful for offline installs (like after reformatting a machine & bringing it up to speed before letting it go online). The Windows Update after is still a good idea.

In either case (free or Pro), if you run the installer again, it either fetches the latest (if the Free, or the Pro if told to do so) the latest versions, and installs them over the old versions, thus updating you.

For a free program, you can check off a bunch of software that you normally use, and with a single click of the installer, update all those programs without a headache.

This is in addition to, not instead of, Windows Update.

Ninite is definitely an excellent program. They are one of the few companies out there that are worth the effort to support.

No I don't work for them, I'm just a *very* satisfied customer.

13
0

Space Commanders rebel as Elite:Dangerous kills offline mode

Shadow Systems

Cue the mass demands for refunds.

"You promised an OffLine mode. I spent money to reserve my copy based on that claim. You are now saying there will be no OffLine Mode. Thus it is no longer what I pre-ordered. I want my refund now."

And if the developers refuse to give it, a quick call to the CreditCard Company to claim Fraud, the charges get reversed, and KickStart/the Developers get to deal with the fall out from howevermany folks decide they've been scammed.

Nice going, way to shoot yourselves in the head.

27
3

Walmart's $99 crap-let will make people hate Windows 8.1 even more

Shadow Systems

Would it make a good ChromeBook?

Nuke&Pave it, reimage it with ChromeOS, and turn it into an inexpensive ChromeBook.

It's got an SD card slot for local storage, WiFi for communication, and a decent enough screen for that purpose, which leaves battery life as the last stumbling block.

If it would make a good ChromeBook, then I'd buy them in bulk, Nuke&Pave them, and donate them to a local school for use with the kids, or the library for their patrons, or the Senior Home for the old folks to have a "computer" (for various definitions of "Computer") upon which to surf, email, and read books.

3
1

Whisper. Explain this 'questionable' behavior – senior US senator

Shadow Systems

I bet the "tracked & never know it" guy heard the story.

Who wants to bet the guy they claimed to track for the rest of his life, notified his buddies at the Department of Homeland Security, said the magic words "Investigate Them", and now we've got a high powered politician on the case... whom Whisper can't ignore, because said politician has both the balls & the power to Make An Example of their asses if they don't give some *damn* good answers to any & *every* question he asks them?

I mean, tracking Civilians is bad enough, but to have just openly admitted to Unauthorized Surveilence of a Government Employee? Oh yeah, I'll put my money on Whisper going down in flames like a Scientologist Actor's career...

2
1

Is your home or office internet gateway one of '1.2 MILLION' wide open to hijacking?

Shadow Systems

ButButButbutbutbut I am teh Secure!

I'm online via my Official Carrier branded modem, across Official Carrier lines, to my Official Carrier's HTTPS site over a Dial Up Connection! There's no possible way Comcast could be that insecu-

*Line Noise*

*Obvious second source of text being typed in a different font & size than the original*

I am perfectly assured of my excellent Comcast service. I have no problems what so ever with my awesome Comcast service. My Comcast Customer Support, Tech Support, and Billing is without equal, and leads the industry in every metric that matters. I believe strongly that the Comcast & TWC merger should be allowed to proceed without hesitation, as it will be good for everyone. I think Microsoft is the best company to have existed next to Comcast, and I offer up my children to my Corporate OverLords.

All hail the Mighty Comcast! Long may they reign!

-Signed, Tom Whe^^^ShadowSystems.

*Line Noise*

*Returns to original text font & size*

...and I even use Microsoft Advanced Firewall!

I'll be fine.

=-)p

8
0

Visual voicemail hack makes your messages a snack

Shadow Systems

*GolfClap* Fekkin brilliant.

You don't tell your users that you've created an account for them, then helpfully "password protected" it with their default PIN, and leave the systems unpatched so ScriptKiddies can do a simple BruteForceAttack to gain entry. Which then gives them the PIN to the user's account, which gives them the same admin rights over the account as the unnotified owner, whom then gets to find out the hard way that they're getting screwed through an attack vector they didn't even know existed. Who's brain dead, dip shit, mentally retarded, drooling on their own shoes in delight, padded helmet wearing, mittens with the connecting string, name sewn in the underwear, Speshul Snowflake idea was this, and how soon before we can witness their public execution for crimes against humanity? SonofabitchmotherfuckingassspelunkingdumbassFUCKTARDS!

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go verify that I don't have any accounts my provider hasn't bothered to tell me about. Then I'll change the password. Then I'll hunt down whom did it & feed them back their colon. Grrrrrr...

4
0

Microsoft, Docker bid to bring Linux-y containers to Windows: What YOU need to know

Shadow Systems

Embrace. Extend. Extinguish.

First they decide it's good for them & start embracing it. Once it's incorporated into Windows, they'll start fekking with the API & tweaking the "Standards" until it will only run properly on Windows. Once everyone has mangled their old code to work, or completely stopped using the original version in favor of the Microsoft variant, then it's time for... (Cheesy Ominous Music) Then they'll decide that they no longer wish to support it, dump it like a flaming turd, and leave everyone in the lurch.

How many times has it happened before? How many times does it have to happen again? "Those whom refuse to learn from History are doomed to repeat it." Or, in Microsoft's case, destined to capitalize on it, squeeze it for every last penny, then toss the corpse under a bus.

17
9

Adobe spies on reading habits over unencrypted web because your 'privacy is important'

Shadow Systems

Or it would have if I'd let it...

Back when I could still see & PDF's weren't a *total* worthless pile of shite, I'd always listed Adobe Reader in the Firewall as Blocked & no connections allowed in either direction. It doesn't need to phone home, and I don't want it replying to anyone phoning in. It manually updated when I manually grabbed the latest version, ripped out the old, & installed the new.

Now that I can't see & PDF's are as useful as nipples on a rock, I don't even have it installed. But if I did, it would *still* be Blocked by the Firewall for the exact same reasons.

Do yourself, your friends, family, coworkers, & customers a massive favor & Stop Using Adobe. That includes Flash, PDF, and everything else. There are better ways, better programs, and better solutions.

If Adobe is the answer, the question was probably "Whom sucks harder than a nuclear powered hooker?"

31
0

CONSUMERISM IS PAST ITS SELL-BY DATE: Die now, pay later

Shadow Systems

You had me at enslaving nuns...

Seriously though, all it takes is refusing to be a materialistic git. Don't buy that UberShinyNewDingus just because all the ads, talking heads, & internet buzz demands it of you. If your old one still does the job, keep using it until it doesn't. You save money by not "upgrading" to something you don't really need, and you can better research your eventual *real* upgrade at your leisure.

Don't buy that monster tv just because you want to preen over your e'peen. Buy one that's the right size for your needs, save the extra money, and put it towards a rainy day.

Don't buy that new monster SUV with all the blithering idiotic doodads in the dash. Get something that fits your actual needs, save the extra cash, & put it away for a rainy day.

Don't buy that new $2K (I'd use the Pound Sign but my schtoopid keyboard hates me) laptop if the $750 model will do everything you need it to do just as well. Save the cash, put the money away for a rainy day, and be satisfied with your new bit o' kit.

You want a house? Fine. Just don't get one so far out of your ability to pay for it that there's no hope OF you ever paying for it. Get one in your range, pay it off, and be happy that you're not a zillion DollarPounds in the hole because you "just HAD" to have that extra 50K SquareMeters of gold encrusted marble fountains lining the servant's entrance in the South Wing.

In other words, use your damned head instead of just doing what the media screams at you to do. Buy what you *need*, not what *they want*, and you'll be much happier for it.

Anecdotal Case In Point: I just replaced my ~5 year old cell phone on the 1st of the month. Because I'm Blind & have specific requirements (namely that the bloody thing talks to me when I need to navigate it), I'm rather limited in my choices (at least here on the wrong side of the Pond). Had I listened to the sales droids of my Carrier, I would have ended up spending over $500 on a brand spanking new iPhone 6 with all the bells & whistles, "because it does everything!" Instead I'd done my research & found a Feature Phone that did the job, and it cost me $160 out the door (full price, no subsidy). Had I gotten the iPhone, it would have cost me "only" another two years of my contract, plus 24 monthly payments of ~$25 to pay off the phone. Instead I save the ~$350 in base price, plus the two years worth of $100/month contract charges, and get what I *need*. Will it do what I need? Yes. Will it satisfy the desire to have the latest & greatest? No. But if the first gets it done & costs less than a tenth of the second, the choice is a No Fekkin Brainer.

Don't be a Chav. Buy what you can afford, that fits your actual needs (not wants), and keep a bit o' coin in the cookie jar for a rainy day. By the time it starts raining, you'll have enough to buy that umbrella that doubles as a LightSaber. =-)p

25
0

5 Nigerian gangs dominate Craigslist buyer scams

Shadow Systems

an easy solution...

If you put something up for sale on a site, refuse to accept anything other than cash, and don't ship it anywhere until *AFTER* they've paid for both the item(s) AND the shipping. Anything else is just begging for trouble.

If they want to pay via cheque, smile & tell them to go to their bank, withdraw the funds, & come back with cash, otherwise bugger off. They want to use PayPal, Bitcoin, or anything else, smile & tell them that Cash is the only way they'll be leaving with the goods. Because anything besides cash in hand is a boning waiting for a victim.

As for the Banks & cheque processing, if they tell you it takes days to do it, tell them they're full of shite. The same tech that allows the Register Clerk at the grocery store to slide your cheque through the reader & auto-debit your account for the funds *immediately* applies ten-fold to Financial Institutions. That routing number across the bottom includes your account number, and a simple swipe through the reader turns it into the same thing as a Debit Card transaction. The machine sends the routing number, purchase amount, & merchant ID to the institution that issued the cheque. If said institution doesn't exist, the routing number, or account number are wrong, it gets flagged as invalid - No Sale. If the numbers resolve, the institution then checks that the Purchase Amount is actually available in the indicated account. If insufficient funds, then No Sale (or they allow it, but charge the account owner NSF fees) & No Sale. If the funds are there, they are automaticly & immediately deducted from the account & electronicly transferred to the Merchant ID listed in the transaction. All of this happens in under sixty seconds on a congested day, and Financial Institutions have the added benefit of digitally scanning the cheque & sending it along with the transaction data, thus allowing the issuing institution to tell at a glance if it even is one of their instruments. ("Umm... we're the Northern Bank of Belgium, not the NorDern Bnak of Belgeeum.")

That cheque can be processed in less time than it takes to ask the counter clerk about the weather, and they can have the cash in your hand or let you know it's invalid, in seconds. The *ONLY* reason to force it to take days is to physicly mail it to a clearing house that simply does the same job aforementioned, at a snail's pace, in order to give the bank a few days of earning interest on the funds without having to pay YOU for having done so.

So refuse anything other than cash, and don't ship it anywhere until they've sent the cash for both the purchase AND the shipping. It can't get any fekking easier.

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