* Posts by Shadow Systems

251 posts • joined 26 Jul 2007

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ClearSky: Keeping your premises free of unwanted clouds

Shadow Systems
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Ah yes, The Cloud.

No thanks. I'll keep my data under MY control, protection, & management where it belongs, rather than in some nebulous, unsecureable, unmaintainable, & untouchable "Cloud".

Some ThreeLetterAgency wants to get access to my data they have to come to ME to get it, not merely take a copy off someone else's servers I have zero control over.

So you can keep your cloud, I'll keep my feet & data firmly on the ground Thankyouverymuch.

*Lewd crotch, flipper, tentacle, wing, nostril, eyestalk, noodle gesture in disgust*

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Sony Xperia M4 Aqua 4G: The Android smartie that can take its drink

Shadow Systems
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Do I understand this properly?

There's a microphone located at the top of the case & a speaker at the bottom?

The fekkin thing is built upside down!

Put the speaker near the ear so we don't have to turn the volume so bloody loud to hear it, & the microphone down near the mouth so we don't have to act like annoying twats SHOUTING to be heard.

Whose brain dead idea was THAT design cockup?

No WONDER you need an earbud speaker with boom mic to use the damned phone, some dork built it wrong!

*Cough*

I'll get my coat, it's the one with the "Dumb" FlipPhone in the pocket that's smart enough to be built properly...

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Windows 10 market share growth slows to just ten per cent

Shadow Systems
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Dear Microsoft, good luck with that.

Between your privacy nightmare, security hell, personal files uploading to MS HQ, deeming devices "incompatible" on a whim, and minimal compatibility with Assistive Technology that is a *Must Work* function for *Everything* in the OS not just the parts you feel like allowing accessibility, there's no way in bloody hell I'll be "upgrading" any time soon if ever.

I'll stick to Win7Pro64 until you EOL it, then either examine your not-really-Windows-Eleven post-Windows-10 offering, determine if you've decided to shaft us again, & then either switch to Apple or Linux (if the Screen Reader works).

Whomever came up with the privacy policy needs to be taken out front of the MS HQ & stood up against a wall for the firing squad. The privacy policy needs to change *NOW* to default to giving it back to us, not an "Opt Out" bullshit.

Whomever decided the shove-it-down-our-throats Windows Update policy was a good one needs to be right beside the other bastards for the firing squad. If your update (that you refuse to let us know WTF it does) breaks my system, I have no way of restoring it to a useable condition since there's no Screen Reader for a BIOS, POST screen, or pre-OS-load environment to allow me to repair the system. So *I* have to determine if your update is good for my machine, if it works with my Screen Reader, and if it doesn't then reject it as Not Gonna Happen. Merely defering it for a few months is NOT an acceptable option, because if you don't fix the problem in that time, I *still* can't allow you to apply it, now can I?

Get a fekkin clue, you brain dead bastards.

It's *MY* computer, *I* determine what of my info (if any) I share & with whom, *I* determine when updates get applied & which ones (if any). Not You. It's *MY* computer, Not Yours. It's MY data, not yours. It's MY money that will enrich your competition if you keep up this level of bullshit.

Now straighten up & fly right or kiss my money goodbye.

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Embracing the life-changing qualities of USB power packs and battery extenders

Shadow Systems
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At D@v3, re: external batteries.

I agree. I purchased an extended capacity battery for my phone & that helps it to last nearly a week of regular use between charges. I've got an external USB connected battery pack I can connect to the phone which nearly turns it into a month between charges. I didn't go for a battery-equipped case for that *very* reason, because if I switch phones then the battery case is rendered worthless. Give me a phone with a removeable battery, replace the stock battery with an extended capacity version, and keep a fully charged external in a pocket. By the time your phone drains both the extended battery AND the external battery pack, even the most power guzzling phone & hard core user should be able to last a few days.

NB: I've got a Dumb FlipPhone not a SmartPhone, so the normal useage doesn't include web surfing, app grabbing, game playing, email sending, photo viewing, Social Media updating, time wasting drek. Voice calls, Text Messages, & recording voice notes to remind me to do stuff, yes. YMMV.

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ZTE Nubia Z9 Mini: The able Android smartie the company won't sell you

Shadow Systems
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Capacitive buttons? Oh hell no.

No tactile differences to know where the button might be, no haptic feedback to know if we've pressed it or not, no physical "click" so we can confirm we've pressed it, and the phone goes off to do whatever the button told it to do without letting me know that it's doing it?

Ask any Blind, Visually Impaired, or even "Old Folks with degrading vision" and they can tell you JUST what a fucked up idea those damned things are.

A classic BlackBerry with a physical keyboard is awesome, a touch screen with "Soft Buttons" that the Screen Reader tells us where it is & what it's doing is ok, but a button we can't feel to find, can't tell if we've pressed it, and have no way of knowing if it worked or not?

Fuck that. With a twitchy proctologist wearing a full body condom.

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Windows 10 keeps Microsoft's odd desktop-as-a-service rules

Shadow Systems
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That's easy. They'll do it for the money.

If they can make an extra bit of cash from shafting their customers, the customers get bent over a table, ridden doggystyle with a Rodeo Cowboy yell, and laughed at as we end up with a scathing STD that requires months of treatment to deal with.

Don't want to get raped by Microsoft? Don't install Windows 10.

Want to be Microsoft's Bitch? Enjoy your copy of Windows 10 & ThatDigitalSpyingBitch!

*Dives for the FireProofBunker before the flame war erupts around me*

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Windows 10 is FORCING ITSELF onto domain happy Windows 7 PCs

Shadow Systems
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@Dan 55, re: KBA list.

Thank you for that list of KBA's to watch for. I'd already found most of them, clicked the "More Information" link, learned that they were MS attempting to shove Win10 up my arse, & disabled them with extreme prejudice. Then I went through the already installed updates Just To Be Sure & uninstalled the ones I'd missed.

I was already wary of "upgrading" before MS irons out all the bugs & bullshit, so for them to keep pushing to get it installed just makes me resist even more. I've already configured WinUpDate to merely let me know that updates are available but NOT to download them (much less auto-apply them) so I can manually determine which updates (if any) get applied. I'm getting seriously Sick & Fekkin Tired of having to deny all the attempts to force an upgrade on me, and I wish there were a way to send a few trillion amps back through the network to zot the pricks that think this forced-upgrade-idea is a good idea.

*Sigh*

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Remember Impero, the school software biz that went ape over a vuln? Someone's got revenge

Shadow Systems
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Re: He may be a sociopath...

I like exploring & taking the path less traveled, but I've yet to find a Socio Path.

*Drum sting*

I'll get my coat, it's the one with the extra long sleeves & all the buckles that latch in the back.

=-)p

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Shadow Systems
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Wrong way to deliver the leaflets...

He should have loaded them into a large drone, flown it over the area, & scattered them like it were a World War Leaflet Drop across enemy lines.

THAT would have been the British way of getting the message across.

Bonus points for using a drone that looks like Snoopy flying a Sopwith Camel. =-)p

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DNS chief and wannabe master-of-the-internet ICANN pwned… again

Shadow Systems
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How to enforce good security practices.

Every time some company or government entity gets hacked & the customer/employee/user data (especially PII) gets spaffed, the leaders (CEO's/Department Heads/etc) should be dragged out & beaten repeatedly with Pool Noodles.<br>Every person whom had data released in this fashion gets to whack the idiots 2 or 3 times, and if it was PII then it becomes 5~10 whacks instead.<br>Nothing lethal, just something to beat a clue into the bastards that set the policies that prevent the SysAdmins from enacting security measures that would actually *work* rather than just being "Security Theater" & a cluster fuck of clowns.<br>And then Fine said company/government entity/etc a cool 1Million per affected person. You know, just as a massive slam to the only part their share holders/corporate masters/tax payers will feel & then force meaningful change so it doesn't happen again. The fine payable by said CEO/Heads *personally*, just to make sure they get the hint...<p>Either that or just let us kick 'em in the groin repeatedly until We The Victims feel better.<br>I'll go get my steel toed Klingon Battle Boots.

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Wait, STOP: Are you installing Windows 10 or RANSOMWARE?

Shadow Systems
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Windows 10 is Ransomeware?

*Cough*

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Flash deserves to live, says Cisco security man

Shadow Systems
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@Flocke Kroes, re Easy Answer.

Enjoy a pint on me. I can't UpVote you enough for that.

Adobe is dead. Replace it with Nothing. Weld shut that security backdoor, take a deep breath, & focus your efforts on more productive tasks...

Like figuring out how to enable the WiFi Router to act like a Tesla Coil upon the neighbors if they try to connect to your network again.

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It’s DEJA VU: Customer forgets to tell us about essential feature AGAIN

Shadow Systems
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@Stuart Longland, re: Requirements.

Exactly. If they didn't list it in the original goals when the contract was first agreed upon & signed to make it binding, then the additional changes they request after that point are all available for extra money & no penalty to the other party for delivery after the original agreed upon deadline.

"Yes we agreed to have $This & $This & $This ready by $Date, and we had all those ready to go on time. Then you added $This & $This & $This which extended the deadline & increased the price accordingly. Now, if you would care to look at $Section# $Paragraph# $SubSection# where it states in No Uncertain Terms that I get to bend you over a table & violate you with your own cheque register, I'll clear off this table for you & slip on a rubber glove."

*Cackle*

Try not to laugh _Too_ maniacally as you reach up to tickle their eyeballs from the inside, remember the glove only goes to the elbow.

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Cops baffled by 'canal corpse' that turned out to be COCONUTS

Shadow Systems
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They're trying to migrate!

They couldn't find any Barn Swallows to carry them, so they banded together to migrate on their own!

I'll get my coat, it's the one with the Monty Python skit in the pocket...

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Evil computers sense you’re in a hurry and mess with your head

Shadow Systems
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@Frank Ly, re wash basin.

It might be a multi function device, but don't try to multi task those two functions while using it.

Urine a lot of trouble if you doodoo.

*Runs away*

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Shadow Systems
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@Alistair Dabbs, re Charities.

Been There, Done That, Signed The Contracts, Got Screwed Anyway.

The first time I worked for a month to fix a bunch of old computers so they 1) worked at all, 2) all had the same OS & security, & 3) formed an actual working intranet to allow them to use a central database server for keeping track of their stuff, hours, tax records, etc. When it came time to present them the bill they handed it back with a pseudo-confused whine about "We thought this was for free? We're a charity, we can't afford to pay this!" Show them a copy of the contract they signed, complete with the "If you fail to pay" clause, & ended up getting paid less than half the agreed upon price because "nobody's got that kind of cash!" (Really? Minimum wage for a month of 40 hour weeks is too expensive but you've just purchased new cellphones for all the Officers? Hmmmm...) Took the money, told them not to call me again when it broke, & left.

Second time I put into the contract a "Failure to pay the full amount" clause, made them sign that particular section twice, and got started on revamping their machines/network. Two weeks as a rush job, get it done with time to spare, and get massive kudos about doing such a good job. Comes time to get paid & they "thought the contract was just a taxes thing. We can't pay that!" Show them the signed section that says in no uncertain terms that I Will Be Paid In Full, and ask again for my money. After months of wrangling & spinning my wheels to get nowhere, I politely told the Charity's head muckity muck "Either I get paid or I'll see you in Court. I've got a signed contract assuring me that you will pay me. Any claims to the contrary are full of shit." They cut me a cheque, I take it to the bank, & it bounces higher than a Greatful Dead fan in the dope pit. I had to file the lawsuit to convince them I meant business, THAT got them to pay me in full (and in Cash), to which I gave them a receipt, withdrew the case, & told them to go fuck themselves.

When charity case #3 learned I wanted to be paid half in advance & half after completion, they balked & asked if we could make payment arrangements. I relented, agreed to $x per week for $# weeks, and took my first payment to get started. I finished the task quickly enough, but that first bit o' dosh was the *only* bit I ever got out of them. They "conveniently" filed for bankruptcy before the first month was out, leaving me in the lurch.

Charities may do nice things for some folks, but in my personal experience they can Kiss My Fuzzy Ass if I'll ever do any more work for one. It's not worth the headaches to browbeat them to get paid. And like you said, the PR nightmare it causes "OMG! Why are you being mean to that Charity? You meanie!" isn't worth the stress you feel in resisting the urge to take $Charity out into the lawn to beat them like a pinata until money is forthcoming...

*Sigh*

Why do they do it? If they don't have the money to pay for the work then why not SAY SO in the beginning, so we can decide up front if we're willing to work for free? If I've just put in a month's worth of 8~10 hour days to fix your stuff, that's time I could have spent with a PAYING customer so I could afford to pay my own bills. You know, the ones I'm legally obligated to pay no matter how much I whine about being broke? Yeah. Either pay us what you owe us or tell us up front you want us to do it for free. Screwing us out of what you owe us is a REAL great way to get it spaffed on the various Social Media about what a bunch of shitty folks you REALLY are, facade of goodness be damned.

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Shadow Systems
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Computers are afraid of me...

If they piss me off too badly I calmly pull a very large, rusty, jagged crosshead screwdriver from the junk drawer & brandish it with a smile while cooing sweetly "I wonder how much damage I can do to you with this before the police can get here to stop the carnage?"

Miraculously the machine starts to work again out of utter abject terror over the thought of a Blind Tech armed with a screwdriver & an attitude.

Come to think of it, I should try that on the next "Workman" to show up. "If it's not Completely Fixed before you try to leave, they'll never find your corpse. MUH Hahahahahaha!"

*Cough*

<Looks off screen Stage Left>

Oh look who's here! It's the Workman to fix the toilet!

*Races to the front door, screwdriver in hand, cackling in maniacal glee*

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It's official – HP really will get you a Windows 10 PC on July 29 (barely)

Shadow Systems
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@AC, re "Windows Hate".

My dislike of Windows is not based on a love for the penguin, rather it's a well deserved, hard earned, most of my life using Windows, slowly simmering at the constant screw ups, cluster fucks, & fucking over by Microsoft.

While I have used Linux in the past, it is by no means the bulk of my computing experience; at best it's about 10% Penguin & 90% Radioactive Butterfly.

My original post wasn't hate for Windows, it was incredulity at the prices for a laptop that I had intentionally done everything I could to strip it down in every way I could (version of the OS, not including various subsystems that I don't need or can't use, etc), and only improving it by adding RAM & an SSD. Given the base unit included Win7Pro64 in the price was acceptable, but the choice of Ubuntu reduced the price by over Two Hundred dollars. That was the _only_ reason I chose Linux in my Build To Order attempt, not a love for Linux.

I'll admit I would rather my next machine run Linux than Windows, but that's more along the lines of economy: Win7Pro64 plus a copy of my ScreenReaderEnvironment will run me a huge chunk of change whereas SUSE & Orca will be MUCH less expensive. Even adding in a year long SLA contract for support from SUSE Enterprise won't make it cost as much as the Win+SRE option. Purely from a financial POV, I could get nearly *twice* the laptop (hardware) for the same price if I choose SUSE over Windows. That's not a Linux Lover or Windows Hater outlook, that's simple math.

When you add in all the cock ups, fuck ups, & absolute cluster fucks of Microsoft into the mix, the money I'd save in anti-migraine medication alone would pay for the Linux install.

YES I hate Windows, for a damn good reason, but it had _nothing_ to do with my original post.

*Sighs*

I know I shouldn't feed the trolls, but maybe if I slip it a live grenade disguised as a tasty Apple, maybe the resulting Chunky Salsa will make the World a better place?

*Evil Grin*

Heeeeere Trolly, Trolly, Trolly. HERE Trolly. Who wants a nice Apple?

*Cackle*

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Shadow Systems
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@AC, re List Order.

Ah, then it's my fault. I heard my ScreenReaderEnvironment say that it was a List sorted by Price, but not in which order it had been sorted. Most of the time when I get such a list & the manufacturer chooses the order for me, they put their best & brightest (and most expensive) at the top & all the lowest grade (and priced) crap at the bottom. I went to the bottom thinking it was the Low end of the list, not realizing it was the High end instead, which would explain whi the price went from merely astronomical to completely out of orbit. I accept the down votes as appropriate then, and shall take the virtual smacking as Deserved.

Have a pint on me for the explanation, and I'll try to make my SRE be a bit more descriptive in the future.

Cheers.

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Shadow Systems
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HP is fucking insane.

I clicked the link to check out the laptops. I modified the default selection to be Business Class rather than Consumer laptops. For shits & giggles I selected the very last laptop in the list & chose to customize it.

Giving it Ubuntu subtracts a nice chunk of change. Reducing the screen to the minimum reduces it even farther. No WiFi+BT drops it some more. No fingerprint reader, no VPro, no WLAN, all drop the price. Bumping up the ram to a full 16 gigs & going for the 128gig SSD brings it up a bit.

For a laptop with no additional software, no WiFi/BT/WLAN/biometrics/VPro/"TouchPont" remote control, the lowest grade screen available, and no other frills, the price was STILL over Two Thousand.

HP's smoking scrotum sweat if they think that's a bargain, and the price goes !UP! from there if you put Windows back on it!?!?

HP's fucking insane...

So I went back to the original W10 Laptops page. Sure there's some seemingly inexpensive models in the Four Hundred bucks range, but they're all AMD CPU's, 4 gigs of ram, and piss poor specs.

In order to get a 5th generation Intel i5 & 8 gigs of ram, be prepared to visit the land of One Thousand dollars or more, and that's the *base* price.

I know you get what you pay for, but FFS that's not going to go over well with all the parents doing "Back To School" shopping for the kids; if your choice is a thousand bucks for an HP with Win10 or Two Hundred for a Chromebook, that expensive HP is gonna gather dust.

*Sigh*

Yeah, I know, it's an article about Win10 laptops offered by HP so I shouldn't be talking about their Chromebooks, but it just makes my head hurt how a "bargain" laptop starts at over a thousand dollars in HP's version of Reality.

Hell, if Bargain = $1K+ then Apple products are merely "Low Cost" and that 32gig 5th gen i7 quad core 3GHz with the 1Tb SSD is enough to start looking like it might take all of a month of Junior's allowance to afford!

*Disgusted cat barfing noises*

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ZOMBIE Commodore PET lurches out of its 1970s grave – as a FONDLESLAB

Shadow Systems
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Can I play Bounty Bob Strikes Back?!?

Will it give me the classic Blue Screen Of Life with it's lovely "Ready" prompt?

Can I write a BASIC program to stuff random values into the POKE statements & turn the screen into a mind numbing spray of colours?

Will I have to type LOAD "*",8,1 at the prompt to run the programs?

Will I need a FastCart & a 56K modem to attach so I can connect to my favorite sections of Q'Link & CompuServe?

*Grins*

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Microsoft kills TWO Hacking Team vulns: NOT the worst in this Patch Tues either

Shadow Systems
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@ZZLEE, re Tinfoil Hat...

*MunchCrunchMunchCrunchMunchCrunch*

*BURP*

Ahhhh... zesty!

*Picks crinkly bit out of teeth with the edge of my Titanium Spork*

You know those things don't work anymore, right?

The NSA got together with the tinfoil makers to embed NanoCrystals in the sheets to better focus the Mind Control Rays to your brain, thus turning them from a reflector to a concentrator. Wearing them now *improves* their ability to turn you into a walking Meat Puppet.

If you want to shield your skull from the NSA MCR, the best way is to lather your head in petroleum jelly & a mix of crushed nuts & crutons. The mix defuses the MCR, the PJ insulates from the stray rays that get past, and all you have to do is stave off the Evil Squirrels.

Evil... Evil Squirrels.

*Brandishes Titanium Spork menacingly*

EVIL, Evil Squirrels!

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Shadow Systems
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@Gray, re Windows.

That can't be *entirely* true...

Granted I've been married once and I run Windows (not by choice) but that doesn't make me a masochist does it?

*Blinks a few times*

Oh shit, I'm a bloody masochist!

*Beats skull into the desk until I pass out*

...

Seriously, I run Windows because I'm not sure I have any choice. I can't afford to buy Apple & the state of Screen Readers on Linux wasn't quite there yet the last time I checked. YES there's stuff like Adrenne (sp?) and Vinux, but the former hated my hardware (Intel NUC) and the latter kept glitching on simple things. I need something as stable as Debian with a ScreenReader That Just Works. Since I can't see to fix it when it goes tits up, and my Sighted Minions have the technical saavy of a lump of Vogon shit, I'm at an impasse to get stuff repaired on my own. So Windows is my only real option for the simple expediency that there are far more Windows knowledgeable Sighted Minions around than Linux ones, unless/until I can (afford to) pay for Professional Support. I live in what is politely called a "Cow Town", where there's more cows than people. My chances of finding a Linux Professional anywhere around are udderly nil. It would behoove me not to milk this any more lest the joke curdle on me, but suffice it to say I can churn the various phone directories until I'm bluuuue in the face & probably never find one.

*FacePalms with a groan*

Sorry about that, it's late, I need caffeine, and I'm frustrated as hell about the state of Linux ScreenReaderEnvironments. I _really_ want to purge Windows off my machine & get back to using Linux, but until that SRE Just Works, I can't Get Shit Done on Linux yet.

*Comical sob*

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Shadow Systems
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Tell me about it...

I think my system decided to download & apply each. and. every. fucking. one. of those damned updates one. at. a. time.

"You may have to reboot after applying" should be changed to read "You'll restart your computer until we feel like letting you stop, Bitch! MUH Hahahahaha!"

*Growls, sighs, bangs head into the desk*

Started at just after noon, it's now just after Two PM my time, and I've *finally* managed to get everything applied, rebooted, verified, & Windows Update to report no further patches available...

Remind me again why I run Windows?

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Nokia will indeed be back 'making' phones – and it's far from a foolish move

Shadow Systems
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I'd buy a Nokia phone.

My all time favorite cellphone was a Nokia that flipped open ClamShell style & then you rotated it from Portrait to Landscape orientation to use the now-revealed full QWERTY keyboard hidden inside the form factor. It had a standard keypad on the front/outside that you could use for Tap9 entry if you wanted, or flip it open for a better typing experience. I remember an eye-bulging "WHOOPS!" feeling when I found my bill that month after first getting it revealing I'd been able to go over my normal text message limit "a bit" *COUGH* & that prompted me to go for an Unlimited text message plan instead. The keyboard was *THAT* good to type upon.

If Nokia can make another one like it but with bigger keys (think convex rather than concave, the better for a blind person to be able to distinguish between each individual key), then I'd be standing in line on release day to buy one.

I'd love a SmartPhone with just such a keyboard option as well. The ability to type on a "real" keyboard rather than swiping, sliding, poking & praying would be infinitely easier, and I wouldn't feel the need (as much) to attach a *real* Full Sized, Desktop, USB connected keyboard just to Get Shit Done.

Nokia, please please PLEASE make such a device. I'll fling my money at you if you do!

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Surviving Hurricane Katrina: A sysadmin's epic DR (as in Didn't Realise) odyssey

Shadow Systems
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@Paul Crawford, re: Disaster Sex.

I'd complain that you owe me a new keyboard, but I've long since learned to Put The Drink Down before reading the comments around here.

I'd take my cap off to you but I'm afraid of what might land on my head.

Ewwww...

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'Ugly Reddit commentards made me doubt humanity'

Shadow Systems
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@James O'Shea, re: Eadon.

Maybe it was the beta test for the Google Now AI?

*Grins*

(Edited because the forum AI didn't like the letter E for some odd reason.)

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Shadow Systems
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@2+2=5, re: Eadon.

Oh wow, if _that's_ the sort of post that person tended to make then it's no wonder they were exsized with a proverbial chainsaw!

Thanks, I'll try not to generate _quite_ that much vitriol around here if I can help it.

*Pure, Sweet, & Innocent Whistling*

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Shadow Systems
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@Antonymous Coward, re: Eadon.

A serious question for a change. Since it appears as if everything by the aforementioned user has been Deleted By A Moderator, can you give this Newbie some idea of *why* they're so vilified, loathed, & probably winner of the "Most posts DBAM" user?

Evidently I registered too late to get to read about them, and I'm curious as to what they did to deserve such bile.

Thanks.

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Flash HOLED AGAIN TWICE below waterline in fresh Hacking Team reveals

Shadow Systems
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@John Tserkezis, re: Caring.

You've brought up another one of my angers/frustrations about the use of Flash. When a site decides to use it as the delivery mechanism for their content, it *deliberately* excludes the Visually Impaired from accessing it at all. Even if the article authors were writing about Accessibility with the intent on as wide a distribution as possible, the fact that none of the buttons let us know what they're for (assuming we can get to them at all), none of the controls let us know what they do (ditto), and the only way we have to "interact" with it is to kill the page/tab/program that spawned it, it makes me want to drag the folks at Adobe out into the parking lot & beat the shit out of them with a very large clue.

"But it can be made Accessible!"

Really? And in what percentage of all the instances of Flash content out there, in what electronmicroscopicly miniscule proportion of those were so much as the tiniest fraction of the beginning of the spark of the inkling of the thought towards Accessibility was it given? And of those what THREE whole instances, how many of them carried through on it? Oh yeah. NONE. So if the default isn't Accessible out of the box, & the vast majority of the uses of the product are not, then the rare instances of someone having actually gone ahead & activated the Accessibility bits is the exception not the rule. If a car manufacturer claims that their cars "Can go over 200!" but it takes having the engine retuned with the "speed options" enabled, activated, & tweaked to actually WORK, then the claim of 200+ may be technicly true but the average user/driver will never ever ever get their car to go that fast, then it's still BullShit. If you want to claim that Flash is Accessible then make it that way out of the box, not after enabling a zillion hidden options, forcing the content authors to consciously, intentionally build Accessibility into their creations, and make it a major migraine for us to... oh, I dunno... USE THE BLOODY PROGRAM?

*Cough*

Anyway, thanks John for pointing that out & giving me another chance to vent my spleen at Adobe. If you give me a second I'll go fetch a squeegee & some towels to clean off the vitriol off your shoes.

*Sheepish grin*

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Shadow Systems
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@LDS, re: Flash.

Any vendor that uses Adobe Flash for their UI or any control subsystem is instantly given a copy of the American's with Disabilities Act or the (DDA?) rules about Accessibility, a note that Flash *isn't*, and told to go fix it if they want our business.

VM Ware may be a monolith, but David slew Goliath with a mere rock. (I like to pull the pin on a HE Frag Grenade, drop it down their pants, & wedge the pin up their nose. The looks on their faces is priceless... or so I'm told.)

*Cough*

Seriously, if a company, ANY company, uses Adobe Flash as part of the UI or Control subsystems then they obviously don't know shit about Real Programming. If your idea of coding involves reliance on a product that's had more zero day exploits than a frisky crack whore has had tricks, then what's that say about your company?

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Shadow Systems
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And folks wonder why I ripped it out years ago?

Back when I could see to use it, I realized it was such a security cluster fuck that I utilized any means possible to mitigate it from running unless and until *I* wanted it to run. Once I went blind, there was *zero* reason to use it since I couldn't see anything it had to offer. So I uninstalled it, enabled HTML5 for Youtube (I like listening to music & Foamy the Angry Squirrel), and have never looked back.

It's a security nightmare, offers nothing sufficient to justify it's use, and isn't worth the "Oh hey look! A Zero Day Exploit given to us on the Fifth? Let's get around to patching that sometime ten days from now!" stupidity.

If Adobe doesn't Give A Fuck about the security of it's users to patch it faster than this, then WHY are any of you using it at all?

Rip that bastard out by the roots, weld shut that security backdoor, and reduce the number of anti-migraine pills you have to consume like Pez!

22
2

Oxford Uni unearths 800-year-old document to seize domain names

Shadow Systems
Silver badge

Wait, it's spelt Oxford?

I went through all that hassle to get my sheepskin from Oxfurd and another from Camebridge, and now you're telling me they're worthless?

NOOoooooo!

*Cough*

I'll get my coat, it's the one with a copy of the Oxfurd Engrish Dikshunairy in the pocket...

7
0

China wants to build a 200km-long undersea tunnel to America

Shadow Systems
Silver badge

I wholeheartedly approve.

I wish it could get here faster than two days, but it would still be fresh, authentic Chinese Food Delivery.

On a more serious note, I like the Sleeper Car & "Business Class" idea. Make sure the trains have internet access so we can connect to the office the entire way, and we could make business trips from one end to the other in more comfort than a plane, faster than a ship, & probably more productive than stuck in the office.

If a Sleeper Car with Business Class accommodations can be had inexpensively, then it could even be good for vacationers wanting to see the other side but not wanting the headaches (& literal pain in the ass) of flying. The cramped seats on a plane, having to listen to some whiney brat bitch & moan about being bored, wanting to play, needing to go potty, not having their favorite video game, & generally needing to be shoved out a porthole to the applause of all the other passengers (the whiner can be of any age & most often is), the ability to walk up & down a few car lengths of aisles to excersize, an actual Dining Car for a sit down, family style meal, having an actual Entertainment Center in the Sleeper Car that includes TV, radio, internet, books, & toys for the kids, plus internet service would be a rather nice way to go.

I would be worried about accidents in the tunnel & the responce time for Emergency Services to attend to the victims. Tunnel fires are bad enough when the exit is only a KM away or there's a stairwell leading up & out for the folks to escape to. A tunnel that takes a day to get to the mid point would probably need Emergency Service Stations at regular intervals along it, the better to evacuate people into since the surface would be a bit difficult to reach quickly.

Make it a MagLev bullet train of the HyperLoop variety so it reaches the other end in quiet comfort, and sell tickets for less than a First Class air ticket, and you've pretty much got yourself a winner.

Of course, then you have to worry about the Mutant Mole People attacking the trains that break through their Sacred Burial Grounds and disturb their Honoured Dead, but maybe we can bribe them with chow mein & caviar?

1
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7/7 memories: I was on a helpdesk that day and one of my users died

Shadow Systems
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@FruitOfTheLoon. Cheers! *Clink*

I've filled mine with Diet Pepsi, but otherwise I thank you for the drink.

Cheers.

*Nearly drink spilling clash of tankards*

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Shadow Systems
Silver badge

To all those affected on that day...

This Yank would like to offer a U.S. Air Force MilBrat sharp !SNAP! salute & moment of Respectful Silence.

Those whom we lost will be Remembered, and those whom Survived will be given many heartfelt hugs.

I don't drink but I'll raise my tankard in a Toast: To those Brave Men & Women whom risked their lives to save the lives of others. I Salute You.

7
0

Chinese takeaway, hold the Google: Xiaomi Mi4 LTE Android

Shadow Systems
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Oh well, nice concept anyway...

If you have to replace the entire UI just to get it in a language you can understand, then that's a fairly major strike against it.

If you then ALSO have to essentially replace it's back end loader so you can interoperate with the major name service that it barely acknowledges as being it's selling point (having a G'Play icon but none of your G'Play installed apps worked?), then that's another major strike against it.

And having to use a dubious-security third party boot loader to get those first two corrected? Call it "Strike Three" and retire that chump at the hump.

I *might* have been interested even despite the lack of compatible signal bands, despite the lack of an SD card slot, and despite the limited internal storeage, but tossing those three atop the already growing pile of issues it's already got? That's not merely a "swing & a miss", that's taking the ball to the face & standing there drooling merrily on yourself while the Ump tries to coax you off the field with a squeaky cat toy.

"Come on little guy, come play with the nice squeak toy... That's right, come on... Gooood boy!"

2
2

Reg hack survives world's longest commercial flight

Shadow Systems
Silver badge

Longest flight? You wish.

I've been on the Longest. Flight. Ever. and yours wasn't it.

It was in a single engine, open cockpit, two seater, "Crop Duster" BiPlane.

White knuckles, braced knees, ankles locked, feet shoved into the (literal!) firewall, eyes wide open behind protective goggles (Mustn't Blink, might miss my death!), respirator face mask (to keep you from eating a bird, but also to hold the non-noise-canceling mic & single headphone used to talk to the pilot), trying not to scream in terror, "Oh Please Lord let this fool not plow us into a tree!", sphincter squeazed shut, bowels not moving, stomach roiling, lunch vomited over the side, "Duck! It's a DUCK!", flight from hell.

Actual flight time: about thirty minutes.

Subjective flight time: I'll let you know when the nightmares stop.

*Comical thumbs in ears raspberry*

1
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Kobo Glo HD vs Amazon Kindle Paperwhite: Which one's best?

Shadow Systems
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@PleebSmash, Re: storage.

I whole heartedly agree.

Granted being Blind means I read more Audio Books than plain text versions, but even still there's no way in hell my current library will fit in such piss-poor amounts of storeage space.

From my Archive HDD:

Audio Books: ~480GiB, ~90.7K Files.

E.Books: ~65GiB, ~75K Files.

Total: ~850GiB, 165.7K Files.

Just my E.Books alone would require one 64GiB SD card to contain the bulk, and they don't MAKE an SD card with the capacity to hold the Audio Books, much less the entire library.

So paring it down to a mere 8GiB is a laughably depressing proposition.

Hell, that's probably not even enough to store the Asimov books, much less the SciFi genre as a whole.

*Snorts*

*Sigh*

Even if I kept it strictly to E.Books, there's no way to put my library on any device I've found thus far. It *has* to have an SD card slot capable of the 128GiB cards & up, otherwise I can't even fit it all on a single 64GiB card after FileSystem overhead.

Yes I know I've probably got a few more books than is normal, but it's not like I can spend my time playing video games now can I? Got to do SOMETHING with all that "free time" spent standing in lines waiting for you Sighted Folk to move along: the Department of Motor Vehicles to explain (again) why I don't need a Driver's License, at the Post Office to mail in all those stupid forms explaining to the Government why a *Blind Person* can't simply hop in their car & drive across the State to visit some inconveniently located bureaucracy office, standing in line at the Guns N' Ammo store to buy more supplies for the impending Zombie Appoccalypse, etc.

*Grins*

5
1

Let me PLUG that up there, love. It’s perfectly standaAAARGH!

Shadow Systems
Silver badge

@Imanidiot, re: Flaming Fax.

Thanks! Yeah, she's a Winner. Normally mild mannered, polite of speach, & an easy going woman, get on her bad side & she'll show you how much "fun" she can have with a knitting needle, a thimble, & various parts of your body.

BioDad pissed her off in so many ways so many times that my quip to her upon hearing about her desire to divorce him (She asked me if I would think any less of her; I did a SnoopyHappyDance around the house & asked if she needed any help hiding the body; she laughed & cried in joy & relief, and turned the offer down on the basis that he needed to live long enough to sign the papers so she could collect on the Military Spousal Benefits... Sigh) I was only too happy for her & supported her fully.

Dad asked me why I didn't "side with him" & I promptly let him have it with both proverbial barrels.

"I've stopped counting the times I've wanted to off you in your sleep. I've stopped trying to remember all the times I've wanted to do it in broad daylight. I've even stopped writing down all the ways I've envisioned snuffing you out. But after this last stunt, I've revisited all those memories with a keen eye on which ones I can reasonably get away with & be back out of prison before my mom dies of old age."

*Cough*

Needless to say he didn't come to me for moral support after that for SOME odd reason.

*Evil Grin*

I think the biggest reason she didn't strangle him in his sleep was because she would have needed help disposing of the corpse. That means Witnesses. That means more bodies. Which leads to more Witnesses. Which means more bodies...

*Cackle*

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Shadow Systems
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@X7 re: my dad.

Didn't get along with him? You deserve a cookie only slightly smaller than the orbit of PLUTO for that.

*AmusedCough*

I often wondered if I were either Adopted or otherwise Not His Biological Child. If it weren't for my "having his nose" (yuck!) I would never have believed we were related.

He would do things that to my "untrained, immature, unskilled" eye would be Dumb As Hell & I'd ask him why he did $This instead of $That. I'd make suggestions on how I thought it might work better if it was reworked to do $X rather than $Y, and might be more efficient. His reply was always "Go Away. I'm the Engineer around here."

Fine, I'll go away, and I'll remember that I suggested what turned out to be The Right Way when we end up having a Professional come around to make things right because the County Code Inspector came by & had an utter shit fit.

*Cough*

One example of his DumbFuckery was we had a Subaru hatchback with a five speed manual transmission. The clutch plate started to go wonky & he insisted he could fix it, that it would save money, and be faster than taking it to a Dealer. Three engines later, four clutch plates later, nearly two THOUSAND dollars, & three months later with still no working car, Mom grabbed the keys, called a flat bed wrecker, & had it towed to the nearest auto shop.

It turned out to have been a part on the clutch plate, not the plate itself, that had been failing. Cost to repair it if it had been Done Right The First Time? A couple hundred for the labor, twenty for the part, & the car would be back in our hands the same afternoon.

Cost after dad got ahold of it? Twenty-Five hundred bucks to remount the engine correctly, install a new clutch plate (plus the twenty dollar part that needed replacing), and a WEEK in the shop for all the labor.

When mom got the car back & had keys in hand, she punched dad in the face with them & told him "This is now MY car. You are not allowed to touch MY car. If I catch you beneath the (Hood|Bonnet) of MY car, I will RUN YOU OVER WITH IT."

I do believe dad never touched it again, and consequentially it lasted another decade before mom sold it to get something else.

In the mean time dad went through no fewer than three cars, buying used junkers, "fixing" them, ruining them even farther, & leaving them in such condition that they had to be hauled away on flat bed wreckers to the junk yard because they no longer were capable of moving under their own power.

This was just one of the many reasons why mom divorced him. When she finally decided to do so & came to me to see how I would react, I gave her a massive happy hug, danced around the house with her, & asked her "Do you need help hiding the body?"

She nearly laughed her tits off in relief & amusement.

Unfortunately she Let Him Live, but that was a turning point in both our lives. She got a fresh start with a man whom *ACTUALLY* can fix things (he's a licensed Contractor with many years of a successful business to his credit) and I got to attend a Community College with StepDad's help rather than trying to find a scholarship to cover it all.

No, I didn't get along with BioDad. I may have been related to him by blood, but I tried *very* hard NOT to turn out like him. I can only hope I succeed.

(If nothing else, never setting myself on fire is a big step in that direction! Narf!)

=-)p

8
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Shadow Systems
Silver badge

The Flaming Fax Machine...

(Note: This is attempt Three to write this story. It is now much shorter & less amusing. Sigh.)

My dad used to have an old fax machine that took a Butcher Paper sized roll of paper off the back, had the telephone number pad on top, the handset on the side, & the slot to spit out the incoming fax on the underside of the front. To send a fax you fed individual sheets into the funnel trough on the top behind the number pad, & prayed nothing jammed.

One day he noticed that it was printing funny, fuzzy, zigzaggy lines everywhere, & the old trick of shaking the toner cart didn't help. So he unplugged it, disassembled it, cleaned everything, and put it back together.

Incorrectly.

Did you know that if the print head is causing a short across it & the "warming up" phase now turns it into a not-quite-open-flame heating source, spraying ultra fine carbon through it is a great way to make it behave like a dragon breathing flame?

Neither did he.

So when he was sitting at his desk & a fax came in, his little girl scream of terror, thud as he hit the floor, & the FWHOOOSH of the curtains going up was rather impressive.

He belly crawled across the floor to yank the power cord out of the wall, fumbled the Fire Extinguisher out of it's bracket, & rolled over to spray the wall with foam to put out the fire.

Once the mess was all cleaned up & we were carrying the slagged machine out to the trash, I happened to read the remains of the fax that had triggered the whole mess.

It was an ad for Fire Insurance.

I nearly wet myself laughing.

(The first two tries were much longer, funnier, and involved many vivid descriptions of what Mom did to him when she got home, smelled the burnt paint, noticed the missing curtains, & nearly beat him with the empty fire extinguisher.)

9
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Shadow Systems
Silver badge

@Old69 re: bacon.

Cooked & crumbled bacon ("Bacon Bits") are fine over salads & in some foods, but part of breakfast (like Scrambled Eggs & Bacon for example) it shouldn't go crunch.

I thought "avacado" was just another name for the fuzzy green testicles of kangaroos?

*Runs away laughing*

5
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Shadow Systems
Silver badge

@Ecofeco & others.

The truely scary part is that dad was working in the U.S. Military as what he euphamisticly called a "Maintenence Monkey" position at a now defunct Air Force Base. He was tasked with various electrical, electronic, & mechanical repair duties on things like the robotic "picker drones" that would follow a guide wire in the floor to $AisleX|$PositionY & use the robotic arm to pull $Item off the shelves. The drone would then follow the wire back, drop $Item in the bin for the Human to apply to whatever was being repaired. These drones were only supposed to go about a walking pace for safety reasons (something about a One Tonne Tracked Vehicle moving VERY FAST and how it didn't Give A Fuck about us squishy Humans), but because his supervisors wanted things faster, dad removed the goveners that limited their speed. The result being "MiniTanks" roaring around the warehouse on crash courses with everything unable to get the hell out of the way, many injuries, and drones arriving at the final bin missing their $Item because $Item had been flung from the drone during a near-90-degree "rebound corner" turning maneuver.

Once the Safety Department learned of all the accidents such "improvements" caused, the fact that my dad had Kept A Paper Trail (the Orders from above instructing him to do said "improvement"), he got to keep his job, but had to spend the next six months putting all the goveners back, repairing all the wear & tear on mechanical bits never designed for "Drone Racing", and had to attend various "Workplace Safety" classes to show him why what he did was wrong.

He'd take that "I can fix anything!" attitude from work to home & keep going as if he were Invincible.

Thus it should come as _NO_ surprise that the first thing Mom did after she divorced his ass was call the Professionals to completely fix the house. Rip out the walls, the wiring, every switch & light fixture, replacing it all with Code Approved stuff. New Central Heating & Air (air conditioning that worked? *Faints in shock*), attic insulation with an "R" value not measured in hours of greedy glee on the part of the Energy Company come meter reading time, dual pane insulated windows (Did you know that windows DON'T let breezes through them when closed? NEAT!), doors that actually closed and STAYED closed rather than needing an upward yank on the knob (Fnar!) to lift it into the latch plate & a sharp smack of the palm to get the lock to latch, appliances that didn't flip a coin to see if they Worked or Caught Fire that time, blah blah blah. It cost nearly twice what the place was worth to have it all done, but once it WAS done the house was appraised at nearly *Four Times* it's highest value in the ~three decades my dad was there.

His dad (my Paternal GrandFather) was a literal Rocket Scientist for AeroJet GenCorp, he did Classified stuff that he refused to talk about even when drunk, so you would think "like Father like Son" right? Nope. Gramp got the brains, Dad got the shaft. I'm at least smart enough to know "I'm not qualified to do that, let's call a Pro" which works quite well in Covering My Ass when the shit hits the fan because something didn't get done right.

And now for the flaming fax machine story... (See next post)

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Shadow Systems
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@Alistair Dabbs, Re Cooking.

If you're going to use all four rings, may I have a plate of "Floppy Bacon" please?

("Cooked but not Crisp" is another way to call it. As long as it doesn't go crunch it should be fine.)

I hate it when folks turn bacon into charcoal. What is it about bacon that prompts an otherwise talented cook to utterly ruin what amounts to a hunk of meat? If you went to a restaurant & ordered a steak, and the thing that was eventually laid before you were cooked like that bacon, you'd send it back as inedible & probably refuse to pay for it. But the moment it goes from beef to pork, it becomes ok to do unspeakable things to it?

Dang it, cook the bacon the same way you would cook Filet Mignon: tender, juicy, and delicious, not burnt, crunchy, & the gustatorial equivelent of gnawing on your galoshes!

*Shakes a palsied fist*

Danged WhipperSnappers! Bring me my floppy bacon & get off my Lawn!

=-D

8
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Shadow Systems
Silver badge

A four-switch panel to control two lights?

Bah, that's nothing.

Back when I was knee high to an Arcturan MegaCricket, my dad did some "home improvements" to the living room. Installed a central ceiling fan with four bulb light in the "frosted glass fish bowl" beneath. The switch plate that came with it had one switch for the light (off|on), one switch for the fan (off|on), and a rheostadt to control the speed of the fan.

Still with me? Good. Now hang on, the Stupidity starts to get thick.

He managed to wire both switches to the lights, so you flipped one (whichever one was Up) to the other position to turn it on, then flip the other switch from whichever position it HAD been in to the other.

Why? Because it picked which of the four bulbs to illuminate depending on which switch had started in the Up position. Left was Up & right down? Then bulbs 1 & 2 might come on, or 1 & 3, or 1 & 4, or 2 & 3, or 2 & 4, or 3 & 4. Left one down & right one up? Pick a different two to illuminate first, wait a few ticks, and watch as the other pair of bulbs would flicker into life as if finally getting the message.

Still with me? Ok, now put on the HazMat AntiStupid suit, cause here's where Mr BumbleFuck got *really* going.

The rheostadt would start at the 50% "Twelve O'Clock High" position in order to turn the fan Off. This was not the default configuration of the component, it was DESIGNED to start all the way over to one side or the other as Off, the halfway mark be half power, & all the way over being Full Power.

But he managed to wire it up so it started in the middle, & if you turned it one way the fan would start to spin... in that direction. Turn it the other way & it would try to spin the blades that way. He'd wired the normally operated via the pull chain, Reverse Switch into the rheostadt so that you controlled the direction of the spin depending on which way you turned the knob.

This *might* have been useful IF he had made it so it would stop the motor once the knob was returned to the straight up position. But he didn't. So if you had it cranked over all the way in one direction (Full Speed) & then spun the knob all the way to the other side, the sparks & smoke that crazy fucker would send everywhere as it tried to reverse direction on a spinning motor was just amazing.

When Mom found out & threatened to call the Inspector on his ass herself (Go Mom!), he decided to Read The Fucking Manual & "hook it up right". That debaucle resulted in him wiring it up wrong THREE TIMES, starting a small fire, and us eventually having to hire a Licensed Professional to make it right. The Contractor couldn't believe the place hadn't exploded from the massive cluster fuck my Dad did on the wiring. It took two days to rip it all out, rewire the wall/switch, & then put in a new (non burnt) fan.

Mom thanked the guy, paid him, & once he'd left told pop that if he EVER pulled another bullshit stunt like that, she wouldn't need a Divorce "because they'll never find your fucking corpse".

O.O Woo HOO!

And that was just a ceiling fan. If you ask nicely & bribe me with sufficient amounts of caffeine & pizza, I'll tell you about the time he "fixed" the fax machine to spray flaming toner on you for daring to hit SEND.

=-D

39
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What's black, sticky, and has just 8GB of storage?

Shadow Systems
Silver badge

Ok, a semi-serious question...

If one of the Windows versions were used (for the improved components) with a copy of DOS & MAME, would it make a good mini arcade machine for the kids?

How would you connect the controllers? Could it handle a multi player game without lagging, stuttering, or becoming unuseably slow?

Could you fill the SD card full of FLASH games & use it as a stand alone (offline) video game consol for the munchkins to play upon?

I envisioned filling it full of video games, taking it (and a keyboard, controllers, & whatever other bits I might need) with us on vacation, plugging it into the Hotel/Motel tv, & playing games even if the place doesn't have an internet connection.

Even better would be to couple it to a smallish LCD screen (think "fits on the back of the seat headrest"), give it a controller, a power lead to the cig lighter, & let the kids have fun while the car is in motion. No more whining about being bored, moaning about the lack of a signal (No shit? Funny how that might happen when we're fifty miles / a hundred-fifty KM from the nearest place you might call civilization!), and no more getting kicked in the small of the back by a child that's tempting me to fling them out a window as I accellerate away cackling.

*COUGH*

Where was I? Oh yeah. Would it make a good stand alone, offline, MAME unit to keep the kids occupied? Would it require a lot of work to get it to do that role, or would it be something as simple as filling up an SD card with the game files, installing MAME on the stick, & finding a suitable controller?

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Shadow Systems
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@Grifter, Re: Wtf.

Spot on.

If I were in the market for something like this, I'd be "forced" to buy the Windows version (thus rewarding MS with the sale of a "Windows device" even if they're not getting any money off a Windows license), just to get the hardware that doesn't blow rancid monkey spunk.

Fuck that. Utter bullshit.

Now I feel like getting one of the Windows ones, giving it a script to send an email stating "You Suck & here's why..." to Intel once every sixty seconds until they find where in the Mall I've hidden it in order to disable it. At which point the next one kicks in to start sending the emails (from random compromised email accounts, through random proxies, to randomly chosen Intel email address') just to keep the fun going.

And when they find that one, the next starts up, then the next & the next & the next. Like an "Annoy-O-Tron" from ThinkGeek.com only set to send email instead of chirping incessantly.

Dear Intel. Thanks for offering a nifty product, but did you _really_ have to go the AssClown route in order to offer the Ubuntu model? Half the ram & piss poor onboard storage? Seriously? And it *only* saves Forty bucks? If those components only cost Forty, then here's another Hundred-&-Twenty to put it back then triple it. What's that? You can't do it because that's *not* the cost of the hardware you stripped out to bring the price down? Then what _IS_ the excuse for screwing the Linux community by offering such dubious "savings"?

Grrrr...

20
2

Teaching people to speak English? You just need Chatroulette without the dick pics

Shadow Systems
Silver badge

@Doctor Syntax, Re: Ladybird.

Couple those styles of books with a Siri style Talking Assistant.

The TA shows a picture of something, there's the spelling below it, & the TA slowly highlights each letter as it's spelled aloud.

Then the TA asks you to spell the word, highlighting the letters again as you do so, then asks for you to read the whole word, & gives a bright green check mark "Good Job!" graphic/audio, or has you repeat the lesson until you get it right.

It can start with simple ABC's & 123's, progress to three letter words, & once you've correctly read/spelled all the ones in it's database, "Achievement Unlocked! Your Reading Skills have gained a Level!" at which point it goes to four, then five, then six, & seven letter words in obvious steps.

By the time the "Player" is up to eight letter words, they're effectively fluent to all intents & purposes.

You can make each word correctly completed worth a Ten Cents/Pence coupon good at their local grocery store on things a Family might need, or just a generic "Good on any purchase of One (Dollar|Pound) or more" kind of thing.

If the Player saves up their coupons until each level is passed, then the combined coupon might be worth even more than the sum of it's parts.

If they save all the coupons from all the levels & combine them into a single script at the very end, maybe it's worth a free"Family Meal Deal" from the deli (chicken|beef|pork, mashed potatos, salad, drink, & a dessert?), or a bag of groceries (valued at ???), or the like. Something that's an obvious reward they can look forward to earning, winning, & redeeming.

Get it sponsored by your local grocer, advertised on said grocer's website, and into as many hands as possible (Android, Apple, & Windows phones at the very least, Apple, Linux, & Windows desktop clients if possible as well).

Imagine the fun of talking to your phone all day & actually Learning & Earning something from it for a change!

=-D

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