@RobHib, re your reply to MST.
*Standing ovation & roof raising boisterous roar of approval*
To hell with a mere pint, I'd buy you an entire KEG for your post.
Damn well said Sir, damn well said.
306 posts • joined 26 Jul 2007
*Standing ovation & roof raising boisterous roar of approval*
To hell with a mere pint, I'd buy you an entire KEG for your post.
Damn well said Sir, damn well said.
Ohm My Gawd! That comment was revolting! You should be amply punished for such a charge!
The one thing I *have* to make sure is activated & functioning flawlessly is the very same attack vector they'll use to fuck me over?
Fuck it. As badly as it sucks, I guess I'll have to stick with a Basic (not "Smart") Phone, just so I can have some chance in hell of remaining secure.
Apple is too expensive, Android is waiting to violate me for needing it to be Accessible, BlackBerry *might* be an option *IF* Verizon decides to release the Priv, Windows phones are pointless, and none of the other OS' out there give any mention whatsoever wrt Accessibility.
Damn it, this blows goats.
Me: Curtana! Drive this fucker like ya stole it!
Curtana: It's about damned time! Sit down, strap in, hold on, & let's GO!
Me: I'm sorry Officer for the multi-state high speed chase, going up on sidewalks, mowing down pimps & whores, sideswiping all those mailboxes & lamp posts, and chasing that bus of Nuns & Orphans until it crashed into the drive through window at McDonald's, but it wasn't my fault.
Officer in utter disbelief: How so?
Me: Curtana did it! She was playing GTA and got confused. I think she's finally snapped & is in dire need of an upgrade or something.
Curtana, in obvious disgust: You TOLD me to drive that way, you fucking meat bag!
Me, pointing to the crumpled & bullet riddled dashboard: See? See? She's insane!
Officer, pinching the bridge of the nose between thumb & forefinger, eyes squeazed closed, muttering darkly: I don't get paid enough for this shit...
On a COMPLETELY unrelated note, where can I get an autonomous vehicle controlled by Curtana or Siri?
*Pure, Sweet, & Innocent smile*
I thought about starting a Procrastinator's Club but never got around to it...
My son & I used to have "You're so old" contests in the same way one would engage in a "Your mom's so fat" juvenile amusement.
We had to stop when I nearly crashed my car from laughing so hard when my son cried from his booster chair in the back seat: "Dad, you're so old you farted like a tuba & we know it as The Big Bang!"
I declared him the winner, then got even by buying a metric fekton of refried bean & cheese microwave burritos for supper that night.
Teach the little monster to make fun of my gas. Bah!
I'm so old that I didn't have a History class in school, it was called Potential Futures.
*Shakes a palsied fist*
Dang you young WhipperSnappers! Get off my laaaaaawn!
<Blinking Scrolling Marquis>What, like this?</Annoying Geocities dancing musical hamster>
(Sorry, just couldn't resist a set up THAT good.)
I recently went to the Verizon store to get hand's on experience with various devices in preparation for purchasing my next phone.
I specificly asked to be shown the Windows based devices in order to determine if their Screen Reader Environment (SRE) was up to the job of letting me use the phone in a reliable & stable manner.
The CSR told me they had *Four* Windows based phones in the store, despite it being their regional HQ & supposed to have the greatest selection of all the other smaller stores.
Of those four phones, the CSR couldn't figure out how to work it well enough to find any Accessibility options, much less activate the SRE so I could listen to it.
Same CSR, same store, same visit, asked to see the Android based phones.
This time the selection is so wide & varied it's like winning a free shopping spree at the toy store.
Same CSR asked to turn on the Accessibility & it only takes them three tries, two consultations with the manager, and doing a Google search *on the phone* to figure out what to click to activate the SRE.
Same CSR, Apple devices this time.
Smaller selection but only a single action to activate the SRE & hand me a talking phone.
If MS wants to be a contender in the cellphone market then it needs to offer a wider selection of devices & do a MUCH better job of making sure the sales droids in charge of selling them can actually operate it sufficiently to impress the potential customer.
Android has the selection of devices to fit nearly any budget & use case pattern, but they also need to make sure the sales droids have a clue.
Apple may not have the selection, but when the air headed bimbo can Make It Work as if she were born with the damned thing in her tiny chubby fist, then evidently someone at Apple made sure the sales droid training was up to the task.
Do I want a Windows based phone? Not sure. Maybe if the SRE worked & the UI were intuitive, but given what I've heard about WP8.x & W(P)10, I doubt it.
Do I want an Android device? Given the security issues that have recently been reported, I'm wary about such a move. Maybe if the device starts with Marshmallow & there's a written guarantee of timely upgrades, but otherwise I'm afraid that the software version on it when it leaves the store will be the *only* version it ever sees.
Do I want an Apple device? Not really, no. But given the state of the SRE on it's hardware, I may not have any real choice. Which means I'll have to save up my pennies, rob the piggy bank, mug the sofa cushions, & possibly sell my First Born in order to afford it.
It's my own fault I guess. I never should have joined Verizon. Too late now, the ETF would eviscerate me & leave me too poor to pay attention.
TL;DR: The selection of Windows based cellphones is so tiny as to make MS a non-entity in the market. When the Regional SuperStore for my carrier only had *Four* different Windows based phones to sell, it's unlikely as hell that anyone will notice them among the HUNDREDS of Android ones scattered & splattered about the store in every direction.
In one hand you've got Windows 10 & all it's privacy raping defaults that the bulk of the private citizens using the OS will never know about nor how to deactivate, then on the other hand you try to tell us how you respect our privacy & are standing up for the rights of your users.
Pull the other one, it's got bells on.
The only time I've ever been directed to visit that site is from "Windows Tech Support" scammers, so there's no way in hell I'll allow my computer to connect to it.
If my financial institution tried to get me to install it, I'd change institutions so fast it made their head spin.
A bank has no need to access my computer beyond my web browser logging into their site, otherwise there's *no* valid reason for them to need to remote into my computer.
But they don't so they won't & nothing will change until something happens to hit them where it hurts: their bottom line.
For every video upload they could include a "Report this video" button that allowed the viewers &/or copyright holders to report the video for some reason. Pressing the button triggers a "What's wrong with it?" form that the button masher has to fill out to indicate why they've mashed the button. If bots/scripts start filling out the reason with the same text or significantly similarly worded text, then all further button mashes from that IP discarded as false. Once the button is mashed & the reason posted, someone at FB has to go over the video to determine if the complaint is valid. If it's a "This video contains porn!" style issue then it'll be obvious & the video taken down; a warning to the uploader given not to do it again & account banning for repeat offenses. If the button masher makes a DMCA claim & includes a link to their original video source (say Youtube or Vimeo, etc) then the FB reviewer will see that fact & can remove the FB copy, warn the uploader, & ban the account if need be. If the button masher has a FB account & makes too many false button mashings, that account itself can be warned &/or banned. If the button masher is a random drive-by visitor then the IP is recorded to see if any further/future reports prove to form a pattern, at which point the IP can be flagged & ignored for any more button mashings: "We're sorry but this IP has been detected as being a pain in the ass. Go troll somewhere else, you MPAA/RIAA shilling waste of bandwidth."
But that would only happen IF the folks at FB gave a shit, which they don't, so it'll probably never happen. At least not until someone takes a nuclear powered chainsaw to their bottom line to force them to get off their ass & Get Shit Done for a change.
Get drunk, get laid, and get arrested for something I haven't done yet! You've certainly earned it! (Just don't call me to bail you out of jail, I'll be in a nearby cell trying to give you a HighFive through the bars.)
Why did the kitten cross the internet?
He was stuck in the Frenchman.
MS absolutely Did Not Listen to it's customers when it came time to creating W10. If they HAD then the UI would have fallen back to a W7 or WXP version with the ability for the User to Choose how they wanted to use THEIR machine.
Instead we get more of the same bullshit tiles, touchy-feely Fisher Price clunkiness, a UI that still can't manage to give the User the chance to Get Shit Done, and then to add insult to injury slaps on enough privacy raping mechanisms to make Android's data slurping look playfully pleasant in comparison.
We didn't want tiles on our desktop, we didn't want Active Desktop / Live Tiles, we didn't want the Ribbon, we wanted WXP or W7's with the ability to CHOOSE how to interact with our own damn machines, NOT how MSHQ decided to force us to frustrate our ability to GSD.
I agree with you that Android's UI is crap, but trying to claim W10 was what happens when MS "listens to it's customers" is so delusional it makes me wonder if I might share in whatever your smoking in that pipe of yours. It's gotta be pretty damned good to come up with a trip of that calibre! =-D
Ask the friend or family member to go out to their local electronics megastore & purchase an external, portable, USB powered hard drive "of the largest capacity you can comfortably afford".
Use that drive to make a clone image of their machine to, then set up an auto backup schedule to save their files to the drive.
If something goes titsup on the machine then you'll have a System Image you can use to Restore to, plus their data files to recover.
If you also make a directory on the drive with all the drivers the machine needs to apply from a complete clean install, then they'll be available OffLine should the need ever arise.
Teach them what the Emergency Boot Disk is for, show them how to use it, & tell them to call you if they ever feel the need to use it so you can walk them through it & make sure they do it right.
If you give them basic tools to help themselves & the knowledge of how to use them, then they may (*may*) develop the confidence to USE them when it hits the fan.
I used to make a "Nuke & Pave CD/DVD" for just such occasions, updating it to include the appropriate drivers the specific machine required, various tools to use (from either a DOS prompt, Windows in Safe Mode, or as a LiveCD), and then make the clone to a hard drive for my customers. Tape the CD/DVD into the inside panel of the case, wrap the drive with the restore image on it in bubble wrap & an antistatic sleeve, & leave it in the bottom of the case with a note letting them know what it was for. If any other tech opened the case they'd find the CD/DVD with the latest drivers, antivirus, anti malware, tools, et al & a HDD with a restore image + clone of the original drive, ready & waiting to help. If *I* was that tech then I could have the system restored toot sweet & reloading all the security updates from the image's date of creation. Friends, family, & clients loved the fact that I could get them back up & running so quickly, and the fact that I told them how to do it themselves helped give them the confidence to know they COULD do it if needed.
So take a good sized USB FlashDrive, turn it into a LiveBoot device, load it with drivers & tools, and slap a clone image of the HDD on it for restoring. You can tell them to put the USB stick somewhere safe, and use it for the same purpose as my old N&P disks + clone image on HDD. Simply plug it in, reboot, pick the USB stick from the boot menu, & follow the prompts to restore the drive to a useable state. Bonus points if it automaticly backs up their User Space to the 'Stick first & then copies it back afterwards.
Instead of a lead flinging firearm I use a "High Energy Radio Frequency" or HERF Gun. You can aim it at people & not kill them (unless their pacemaker fizzles) & it makes such pleasing bug zapper noises when the drone, security camera, or auto check out terminal bursts into flame.
As a Verizon Victim I have a severely limited choice of devices, they invariably don't come with the latest version of OS (the Verizon site still offers Android phones with v2.x on them, Apple devices with ~3 prior releases, & Windows phones with WP7; if you look at BlackBerry's offerings it's even worse) claiming they are "OTA Ready". Except they *NEVER* update the devices, so the OS version you buy it with is probably the only one it will EVER get. No updates from Verizon will be forthcoming until the heat death of the universe.
Add to that manufacturers that shit out a new device every few months, claim it'll be supported for the life of the device, then abandon it barely a year later. See Motorola for examples of this, HTC, Samsung, and any of the primarily Chinese tertiary vendors. IF they release an update for the device then it has to go through the carrier in order for us to GET it. If that carrier is Verizon then the manufacturer's update will be "held for testing & validation" until Verizon feels like releasing it, which will be when Hell Freezes Over.
Even if I buy a Nexus from Google directly & get one compatible with Verizon's network, I can't be sure I'll be able to get any updates. I either have to cable it to my desktop & force it to update via the LAN or somehow figure out how to manually download the updates & apply them. Because Verizon will actively cockblock anything the manufacturer might try to send over Verizon's network, claiming "security".
So my options are to live with an insecure device or switch carriers. Unless I suddenly find a couple hundred I can flippantly flush down the bog IN ADDITION to all the other fees I'd incur in changing over (credit check, down payment, the phone itself, insurance, accessories, et alia) then it's Not An Option.
Which leaves an insecure device. <Sarcasm>Joy.</Sarcasm>
In the end both the device manufacturer has to be arsed to create the updates, release them to the carriers, & insist that the updates be applied promptly. Then the Carrier has to pull it's head out of it's ass & push out the updates in a prompt manner. Then and ONLY then can the Customers stand a chance in hell of running secure devices. As others have pointed out above, running the stock OS will get you screwed from the inherent unpatched security holes, but rooting it to run a more recent version will ALSO get you screwed BECAUSE of the rooting. How the hell are we supposed to win in a Damned if we Do, Damned if we don't situation?
Feature phones may not be as prevelant as they used to be, but the fact that I don't store any PII on it beyond my Contact List means that even if it DOES get violated somehow then there isn't a whole lot an attacker can steal. (Because it doesn't run applications, doesn't connect to the internet, doesn't play games, and simply makes/takes calls, sends messages, & has functions like a calculator, there isn't much TO attack in the first place.)
Do I want a SmartPhone? Hell yes. Do situations like this make me reconsider getting one? Damn skippy. If the manufacturer can't be bothered to update the device & my carrier couldn't give a fuck about my security, then there's zero chance that I'll be able to make an end run around the both to do it myself.
Nah, it's like Windows 10 crossed with Cookie Clicker: a lot more mouse clicks for just as little worth.
I am ashamed, bushwhacked, concerned, Depressed, & disgusted at what this nation has become. I'm afraid that the only way to fix this bowel clenching, gut churning, abysmal cluster fuck will involve an Armed Revolution, the slaughtering of those in power, & the complete & utter replacement with people willing to stand up against the corporations, corruption, & bullshit that's been forced down our throats. This is NOT what the Founding Fathers wanted when they established us, and if they were alive today they'd probably be gathering the forces required to march on the places of power.
The Tree of Liberty is in dire need of watering, and it may take copious amounts of bloodshed to fix what the politicians have made bitter & fetid.
Even without the expandable memory, it sounded like a winner.
Right up until it mentioned the capacitive buttons. They might be ok for you Sighted Folks whom can see to avoid them, see to touch them, see to know you've triggered one, & can see to easily back out/cancel the phone doing something you didn't intend, but the Blind can't feel them to find them, don't get any tactile feedback to know we've triggered one, and don't know what the fek the phone is doing "for no apparent reason" because we HAVE triggered it but had no way of KNOWING that fact.
Unless I decide to sell my first born to become an Apple user, my options of Accessible SmartPhones is limited to the few that have physical keyboards. I'm not entirely sure the new BlackBerry Priv will do what I need in a way I need it to work, but what other choices do I have? Especially being that I'm shackled to Verizon as my carrier & can't afford the Early Termination Fees they'd ram up my ass for daring to think about switching to a competitor.
This phone sounded like it might be fast enough & have the RAM to multitask the Screen Reader Environment (SRE) as the required subsystem for me to use the phone in all the ways those with vision can do without the SRE. While 64Gig of internal-only storeage isn't a lot, the fact that the phone supposedly identifies itself as a Generic Mass Storeage Device to a Windows computer meant I could easily transfer files to/from the device. The expansive set of compatible frequencies it used meant it might even run on my carrier. A battery that would probably last me a week between charges was freaking impressive as hell. And for a fairly reasonable price? Great!
Whoops, rein that horse in thar, Cowboy, tharz a problem in them thar hills. It's called Capacitive Buttons.
You're required to do everything reasonable you can in order to protect that which has been entrusted to you. Failure on your part to practice DD to protect said entrusted thing (data, items, money, property, etc) renders you liable to legal prosecution. If I give you my car keys to hold as my "Designated Driver" for the night, but you then get my car stolen because you couldn't be arsed to lock it after dropping me off, it's *YOUR* fault it's been stolen and *YOU* get to pay to replace it. If I've entrusted you with my PII (such as Real Name, telephone number, & CC details) and your failure to practice DD results in said data being stolen, then guess what - it's *YOUR* arse on the line for the theft & subsequent misuse of said data.
I'm not sure what brand of crack she's been packing into her pipe but it must be some pretty powerful shite for her to think she didn't need to bother with DD about her customer's data. If I were a TT customer I'd seriously be discussing with a barrister right about now about a lawsuit for failure to secure said data. Can't be bothered to keep my bits from getting stolen off your servers? Then I can't be bothered to care that all your customers rise up in a unified howl for your head.
Enjoy those pitchforks, buckets of burning pitch, and the hounds baying for your ass.
I'll be the guy over here with the bowl of popcorn & giving Schadenfreud a "High Five" over your demise.
How, exactly, is this style of contest even remotely fair to the Blind whom stand no chance in hell of participating?
Here's my submission given I have no way of knowing what the picture entails: "That's funny, I could have sworn I saw a joke around here somewhere."
I'd ask if I've won but since I don't have a UK mailing address it's moot... Much like a caption contest. Sigh.
The problems truely began when the song "Take this job & shove it, I ain't workin' here no more!" started to play.
If your Dev Team tells you it will take $N amount of time to properly code up what it is you want them to create, to bug check it, make sure there's as few security holes as possible, & validate that it works as it's supposed to under as many different scenarios as possible, Manglement artificially cutting that back to $N-1 means something doesn't get done to meet that deadline.
If it's UI development then you end up with Windows 8. If it's browser back end code viability then you wind up with Internet Explorer version 6. If it's security patches not getting applied before it ships, you're left with default Admin accounts called "Admin" with hard coded passwords of "Password". If it's the operations checking under various scenarios, you're left with functions that work properly ONLY when/if the user ALWAYS does it properly, but fails spectacularly if they don't. The farther back you cut back that artificial deadline, the worse that ends up going out the door because you've forced too many corners cut, too many process' abandoned entirely or given short shrift, all because there wasn't time to Do It Right.
Eventually you're left with the coding reputation of Adobe's Flash Player: it's out there, everyone "has" to use it (because everyone else does), but it's such a security & IT nightmare that IT Pro's the world over tell everyone that will listen to uninstal it rather than keep jumping through the hoops to try & keep it patched.
<Sarcasm>What's that? ANOTHER gazillion "Critical" level flaws you've had to release as an out of band set of updates? Didn't you JUST do that last week? Tell me again whom to blame for this Fuster Cluck?</Sarcasm>
If you want your reputation to not be equated with the likes of Adobe, Microsoft, & Cisco, then Do It Right The First Time. Patch it afterwards if you find something that needs it, but do the job right the first time & there won't BE as many holes to plug afterwards.
But what the hell do *I* know, I'm just a Blind Guy whom can see what's wrong with telling the Dev Team they only have half the time they need to Do It Right.
I always pay in derranged rabbid squirrels. If the merchant can't show the claw & fang marks in their face & the anti-rabbies hypo bruise on their arse, then I know It Wasn't Me.
Oddly enough I don't have any repeat issues with pick pockets either.
Chip & Pin? Bah! I'll stick to Foaming Angry Squirrels for transaction security...
I'll get my coat, it's the one with the trail mix in one pocket, a large bagel & cream cheese in the other...
...while folks have to decide on buying their next ~$600 SmartPhone, a ~$250 Tablet, a ~$1K "UltraBook", or a ~$2K mutant hybrid?
Good thing there's Amazon & Ebay for the used market, buying new is leaving the realm of "Affordable" & zooming past LowEarthOrbit on a Titan Booster.
It may be good for your corporate bottom line & your shareholders, but it absolutely sucks ass for John Q. Public whom needs a new machine but won't be able to afford one. Instead we'll buy either a lower spec & cheaper New-new one, or a comparitively kitted out USED-"new" one for a tenth the price. Your bottom line won't look so good if the bulk of the purchasing public decides you've just priced yourself out of their financial comfort zone.
The linked-to article goes to great lengths to tell you all the ways in which the attack might destroy your system's integrity & that there's "nothing you can do about it - infection is inevitable". It refuses to give any substantive means of protecting oneself, but ALSO claims that their AV product already protects against the attack. Any AV/Malware/Scumware agent that screams about a new attack, fails to say how to protect against it, and then claims that their own product is the "only way to be safe" smacks of FUD of the scummiest sort.
How does it get on the computer? In two parts: part one is a dropper that later downloads the malicious parts. Ok, but how does the dropper get on? What's the dropper called? What do we need to look for in order to find out if we're infected? What process' do we need to look for to see if it's running on our machine?
It bypasses UAC, EMIT, AV (except their own), and Windows' own security to create a second User Account with RDP privs. What's the Account name? How does it create the account if the SysOp has configured Windows to require something other than the default Admin password to create such accounts? What if the RDP function has been Disabled as a Service? Does the attack turn it back on? What if it needs a password in order to do that?
They tell you to look for unusual malicious traffic on your network as an indicator of the infection, but then fail to say what KIND of traffic. Are we talking specific protocols/ports to specific IP/URL's? Is this something that can be blocked via the Hosts file? By a properly configured router/firewall/nat layer?
The whole thing just smells of FUD. If I'm wrong then I'll admit it, but if I *am* then why haven't these guys given us any means by which to deflect the attack, mitigate it once it's infected, or how to clean it off if it has? Telling us that their AV product already protects us from it without telling us HOW makes me think "BULLSHIT!"
Thirded, Fourthed, Fifthed, ... Hell, I'd upvote this to 9,001 if I could.
As MsKnight said in the beginning of this forum, code for a 56Kb dial up modem & it'll be fast on damn near everything else you may ever encounter. Slow WiFi? Flaky DSL? Dial Up? Comcast "Broadband"? No matter *how* shitty your connection, the page will fly from server to visitor & render like a champ.
Limit the graphics where possible, limit the annoying & assinine crufty bits, take out the stupidity with a chainsaw & extreme prejudice. The results will be a site that loads fast, clean, & will be the very definition of "Responsive".
Basic HTML + DHTML can do a hell of a lot of things in a lot smaller code-size than the same bits "requiring" all the JS/CSS/cruft of today's supposedly "Responsive" web.
If the Reg is any indication of speed, then I can only shake my head in dismay & disbelief over how far the web has fallen under the guise of "progress". Between all the ad servers trying to force their crap down the pipe, the back end code trying to load a bazillion widgets & plug ins, all the Social Media bits trying to auto-connect back to their respective MotherShips, et alia, by the time the *CONTENT* has loaded I've nearly forgotten why I was visiting the site in the first place.
I've seen better, cleaner, & more responsive HTML from a Geocities site written by an AOLuser.
Being totally blind & requiring a ScreenReaderEnvironment (SRE) to be running constantly, that means my computational device needs to have the CPU/GPU computational "grunt" to run the SRE along with everything else I might want/need to do. It needs to have the System/Video RAM to multitask like a champ & not bog down the moment I Alt+Tab from Outlook 2010 to the Browser to run a quick search for data I need to reply to the email I'm composing, all while the File Explorer is open & using (something like) 7Zip to compress a couple of gigs of files. If it doesn't have the Grunt to get it done quickly, doesn't have sufficient RAM not to page swap & disk thrash like a drowning man flailing for the air, then I won't be able to Get Shit Done.
So the Device needs to have a powerful CPU/GPU & plenty of RAM _at_a_minimum_, and 64bit over 32bit will be needed to support the higher amounts of RAM.
It needs to have lots of onboard/local storeage so I can keep my files with me & not have to carry additional external storeage. "Cloud" is not an option. An external HDD might be, but only if it's powered by a port & not a wall wart (since there may not be anywhere to plug it in). A USB FlashDisk might be ok, but only if the device itself doesn't have any artificial limitations on the amount of space it can recognize. (Like an SD Card slot that can only handle cards of up to 32Gig or 64Gig in size, rather than whatever you have at hand.)
It needs to have a battery life that won't leave me dead in the water half way through a flight from London to LAX, because I can't afford a 1st Class Ticket to give me access to such "luxuries" as a power outlet. It needs to last the entire day of medium to heavy use, because that's what the workload demands; I can't ask the boss to let me get away with doing less work just because the batteries on my device crapped out in the middle. (Yes there will be power plugs at the office, but I'm talking about all the time *not* spent chained to my desk & still expected to Get Shit Done.)
For the cost of the mid-line model of these phones, I can buy a good laptop that has a proper CPU/GPU amount of Grunt, a HELL of a lot more than a mere 2Gig of RAM, and a battery life that should get me through around 8Hours. Granted the onboard storeage will be about the same, but I'll have more ports, more/larger screens (not that it matters to the blind guy, Natch), and larger storeage options. It'll be able to run that SRE, mail client, web browser, file explorer, file compression, CAD/CAM, Video Editing, spreadsheets, databases, and everything ELSE a worker needs to work on, all without needing an expensive docking station just to add the functionality/ports missing on a common SmartPhone device.
In a word: DUH. The "Ribbon" was insulting enough, but the giant fekkin tiles is a slap in the face AND a kick in the junk. I don't want tiles, I want a Detailed List; I don't want pretty pictures that float & gyrate & show me "Live Updates" ala "Active Desktop", I want to Get Shit Done. Bah.
"Just install Classic Shell!" Why? I shouldn't *have* to install some third party kludge to undo the fuster cluck that is MS' UI, MS should give me the CHOICE of using a "Classic Style" OR their "Nifty Bitchin Super Kool Stuff!". Had MSHQ given us the CHOICE in Win8.x for using a Classic Style OR their whizbang BS then the reaction/backlash wouldn't have been so harsh & brutal. Had they given us the CHOICE of a Classic View OR their ultraspiffysploogefest then we MIGHT cut them a hell of a lot more slack. But they didn't so we won't. If I have to install a third party software to make Windows useable, then MS Fails. End of statement. The third party software may make it useable, but MS shouldn't have made it UNuseable to begin with.
I mean Jeebus on a pogo stick, the whole POINT of the operating system is to Get Shit Done, yet it's obvious MSHQ is doing everything in it's power to PREVENT that from happening!
I string them along & let them believe they've got a sucker on the line, making them work their asses off to keep the scam going as long as possible. I pretend the computer reboots at random, doesn't give the desired result their script says should happen, that my version of operating system doesn't seem to have an "Event Viewer", that the Event Viewer reports Zero Errors, that I don't have Permission to run the Event Viewer, etc. I keep stringing them along like a fisherman slooooowly reeling in a fish, wasting their time without letting them realize it, until they figure they've got me snagged good & tight.
Then I spring it on them that I know they're scammers, have been fucking with them the entire time, and gleefully begin taunting them until they explode in fury, swearing incoherently, and they hang up with a bang. It's SO satisfying to hear the pissant screaming so hard he's gone back to his native language, & I then taunt them even harder with claims of having had sex with their mom/wife/daughter/neice/etc, that their father was "right beside us buggering your" little brother/older brother/cousin/uncle/dog/goat/camel/etc, and that we were busy belittling the scammer the entire time. You know, just to pass the time while we defiled a cow, denigrated an alter to $RandomDeity, and generally mocked them as we had our orgy.
By the time the scammer is done screaming themselves hoarse, I'm laughing so hard I nearly wet my knickers, and if THEY don't hang up then *I* have to from lack of oxygen.
I. Hate. Scammers.
I. Love. Fucking. With. Them.
I will make them go appoplectic in rage at being screwed with, all because they tried to scam me. In wasting their time I keep them from scamming anyone else in that time, and by making them so pissed off they can't talk straight, that's a little more time they spend off the phones as they try to regain control.
Dear Scammers. Do the world a favor. Die. Thanks.
<Nelson>Ha! Ha!</The Simpsons>
Unless you're sitting at a TC terminal within line of sight of the TC Server, connected via FibreOptic (& a fat pipe at that), and the only one using the Server at the time, the latency between user action & Server sending back the results is a massive PITA. The more users, the greater the distance between user & Server, the thinner the bandwidth pipe between user & Server, and the hardware capacity of the Server, the worse it gets for everyone involved. Your Server may have a Tb of RAM & an ExaByte of storeage, but if it's serving a million users via 10-Base-T then nobody is going to Get Shit Done. You can have a ExaByte/Second FO connection to a single user, but it won't mean squat if the Server is running on an 8088 with 1Meg RAM & a single low density, single sided, improperly formatted Floppy. You have to find the sweet spot of Number of Users, bandwidth pipe to serve them, & Server capacity in order to do it right, and all too often some bunghole in Manglement will cut corners, save money, & make themselves look good to the rest of Upper Manglement/BeanCounters at the expense of creating a working condition that doesn't allow anyone to Get Shit Done. Maybe with an unlimited budget & Managers With A Clue (do those exist?) you could deploy a TC network that lets folks GSD, but more often than not it's just a nightmare of users complaining that their terminal is too slow, the network is too slow, the server is too slow, and they're sick & fekkin tired of watching the screen display e.a.c.h. i.n.d.i.v.i.d.u.a.l. l.e.t.t.e.r. o.f. e.a.c.h. e.m.a.i.l... It's most obvious when everyone shows up at the office, turns on their clients, & tries to log on. If the Server goes from idle to suddenly trying to process 1,000+ users all at once, chances are good it's going to shite itself trying to GSD. If you configure the Server to handle the load at peak times, then the Bean Counters whine about it being under-utilized the REST of the time. If you make the users happy then the Bean Counters gripe; if you make the BC's happy then none of the employees will be (but the Share Holders will love it). It's easier to give each user their own full desktop machine, a standard image, lock it down so they can't do anything to it, & then use corporate/GPO rules to lock them out of the stuff they have no business fiddling with. You deploy updates & security patches from a central WSUS server, you know exactly how many licenses you're using (1 license: 1 Machine), and you don't have to use an OC768 just to handle the intra-office bandwidth between a TC Server & the local users. Toss in Remote Users to the mix & you can kiss productivity goodbye. How do you install a TC in an employee's home via a hard wired, secure, stable ComLink so you can trust that it's them logging on, it's an approved machine doing it, & there aren't any MITM attacks along the way? You can't. You need a VPN for that. And a full on desktop or laptop. Sure you could TRY to use a ChromeBook, but how do you make sure the remote user hasn't compromised the machine to allow them to BE the MITM vector? You can't. If you don't maintain physical control over the TC terminal, the network used to connect to the TC Server, & the data sent over that pipe, you can't pass any sort of Security test from HIPPA, Government Security Clearance, or Regulatory Oversight requirements. So sure a TC may sound all nice & cheap & easy to maintain, but what you save at the user's desk is more than eaten up by everything ELSE required to support them. Get a full desktop, hook it to the intra office CAT6, link it to the local Server, and don't let anyone in the building without proper ID. Firewall off the Intranet from the Internet, and don't let anyone that doesn't *require* such cross-access to have it. And no, tweeting on their FarceBook & watching cat porn videos on Youtube is NOT a requirement, even if it IS your boss demanding it. Remind him that Corporate Policy & TLA Laws require that the two shall never meet, & You Shall Not Pass.
Sorry for the long winded nature, but I had to deal with TC & Servers at a Global Communications Company, and even WITH a FO backbone *inside the office*, a Server with more capacity than most would believe possible, AND the Manglement permission to "make it work", it *ALWAYS* brought the users to frustration, us IT Drones to tears, & my supervisor to his knees dealing with the complaints. "It's too slow!", "I can't open email in under 5 seconds!", "I can watch the screen redraw the mouse pointer!". Really? Your TC terminal has the hardware to make it a full on desktop powerhouse, and the ONLY "bottleneck" is the FO link. You've got lag in the low single digit milisecond, the Server shows it's able to respond to you in under 15ms, and yet you claim to watch the screen refresh? How about if we staple your tongue to a passing bus? GAH!
TL;DR: Thin Clients Suck. Just give them a local desktop, lock it down, & save yourself the ulcer.
*Pretends to consider the request, looking up & away, finger tapping chin, thoughtfull expression*
*Fingers snap "EUREKA!" reaction moment, complete with Lens Flare Effect & comical "SHING!" sound effect*
<Wierd Al Yankovic>I. Hate. Advertisers!</Twit>
I've got a Hosts file to drop your advertising into so I never encounter it again. I've got a BlackList of advertisers that aren't allowed inbound past my firewall. If your ads get in anyway, I'll add them (and you) to my Eternal Shit List and Never. Do. Business. With. You. Again.
I. Do. Not. Want. Your. Advertisements.
I. Do. Not. Agree. To. Accept. Their. Delivery. To. My. System.
I pay for my bandwidth, and your ads literally cost me money. So unless & until YOU pay ME to view your ads, I don't want them, I won't pay to get them, and if you force them through anyway then don't be surprised when I submit your domain(s)/server(s)/etc to each & every RealTimeBlackList I can find.
You may bitch & moan that you need the revenue from ejaculating your ads all over the place, But I Don't Swallow.
Now FUCK OFF AND DIE, because I'm Sick & Fucking Tired of telling you morons that NO MEANS NO.
Find a new revenue stream. Your current one (ads) doesn't work, isn't popular, and eventually will prove the catalyst of your downfall when enough geeks get sufficiently pissed off at you to come down on your heads with a Technology Fist Of God & crush you like the cockroaches you are.
*Promptly uses contract to wipe my ass*
*Mailes the shit filled & feces covered document back to MSHQ*
*Cackles & gives MS The Finger*
Nope. Not installing it in the first place. Denied all your "upgrades" to my Win7 that would have enabled me to install Win10, the "telemetry" (spying), the updated/upgraded bits to all the subsystems that needed no update/upgrade...
Don't want Win10, won't install it, & once my Win7 machine physicly dies needing to be replaced, it will NOT be to a Win10 machine.
*Makes lewd crotch, nose, flipper, wing, tentacle, antenna, Noodley bits gesture towards MSHQ in utter contempt*
If Siri could answer the calls for you automaticly I foresee two possible problems:
1. Siri will answer a call, talk to the caller, & take sadistic glee in insulting, badgering, bullying, & angering said caller until they hang up & refuse to call you ever again. This is fine if it's a telemarketer, not so good if it's your Boss.
2. Start placing calls of Siri's own accord, ordering things from local brick&mortar stores to be delivered to your home, calling all your contacts to try & sell them Apple Stock, calling your ExGF/BF to taunt them about how you've replaced them with Siri, calling your boss to get you fired, call the cops to get you arrested, phone the Pope to get you excamunicated, call that Mafia Boss to claim you diddled his wife/son/daughter/parakeet, whatever. The sort of call that's sure to land you in massive hot water without ever knowing WHY, all the while Siri snickers at you behind your back, satisfied in her ability to get even with you for only buying the 16Gb model in black rather than the 128Gb White like you were supposed to.
I'd buy an Iphone if I thought I could trust Siri not to take lessons from HAL 9000 & start opening the proverbial airlocks.
*Clutches Basic FlipPhone to my chest, rocking back & forth, crooning happily at it's utter lack of ability to make it's own calls*
EXACTLY! This, a Trillion times over, THIS!
I don't want tiles, I want a Detailed List. I want my folders, subfolders, & ability to organize the Start Menu to *MY* tastes not those of MS.
I, too, used to do the various folders of Games, Utilities, Productivity, etc, and despite having thousands of different entries in my Start Menu, *ALL* of it was organized to be Four (4) arrow keys away. Windows key, arrow down x1 to Games, arrow left x1 to open, arrow down x2 to get to the second game. MS Word under Productivity, Disk Defrag under Utilities, etc. I could get to the main section where the program was listed in ~4 keys, all without having to move hand from keyboard to mouse & lose my flow. And I could SORT the thing to keep all the (new) entries in line, so it only took one quick glance under a folder to know how far down to go to get to it.
I don't want MS' tiles, I want my productivity back.
Can we get the three of them to kick each other in the balls instead of US? I'd really like to not have to buy a new cup every time one of those kick-happy bastards comes out with a new, steel toed, Klingon spike equipped, laser guided pair of boots.
If I'm not a member of $SiteX and visit $SiteY, I do not want $SiteX setting a cookie. If I wanted $SiteX to set a cookie I'd become a member of $SiteX & then & *ONLY* then have I given permission for $SiteX to know about me... But *ONLY* while ON the site, NOT while roaming elsewhere.
If I get a "Discount Club Card" from the local Tesco, they get to know that I've made a purchase when I arrive at the register & hand the card (cookie) over. They can associate my purchases to my account. That's fine. But they do NOT get to track my every movement beyond their doors. Just because I let them know what I'm buying IN the Tesco store is NOT permission to track what I'm doing anywhere ELSE. Not in the tailor, not the laundromat, not the car wash, not the pub, NOWHERE.
Which is why $SiteX is listed in my Hosts file, cookies from them blocked, and they can Kiss My Fekkin Arse if they get to know ANYTHING about me.
That "Prompt to set a cookie" option of the browser may be a PITA sometimes, but it comes in QUITE handy when $SiteX appears on $SiteY & demands to update itself. What does $SiteX have to do with $SiteY? If it's not jolly well bloody obvious (like I got to $SiteY via an official link from $SiteX), then $SiteX doesn't get to set it's damned cookie.
Just because some wanker of a webdev added a "Like" button to their page is NOT me giving permission to $SiteX to track me there. I don't want your damned cookie, I don't want you tracking me, and you can just go back to your closet beneath the stairs & bugger yourself with a 12u rack of Server Farm.
A replacement for DNS? That's easy! How about semiphore towers & big, garishly bright, obscenely decorated flags? It's foolproof!
This could have been handled more eligantly by simply making a link of the first instance of the term to it's Wiki article that explained it.
Not being quite old enough to remember back in the early Thousand A.D., I was unaware of the fact that the DomesDay Book meant the DoomsDay Book, an accurate examination of all the property, holdings, & livestock plus the value thereof in order to keep a legal record for The Tax Men. Having now read (located at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domesday_Book) I am educated to that fact & humbly retract my whiney blurb to the contrary.
But I still think it sounds silly. When I hear "dome" I think of architectural things not the end of the world. I reserve that link for phrases like "Microsoft Works", "Microsoft Linux", and "Ballmer for President".
Or did you mean DoomsDay, an event that spells disaster? Because a DomesDay sounds like it involves geodescics & a plot point to lock Pauley Shore inside one for a few years.
I've tried taking pictures of stuff but never know if they turned out correctly. It's like I can't see through the viewfinder or something.
As for the incident the other day, I got myself bitchslapped, a temporary ban, you folks wrote in on my behalf (Thank you!), and the ban was reversed. I sent an appollogy to the Editor, explained why I'd written the post, & asked for future "Redacted" text to SAY that it's been redacted, rather than using nonstandard ASCII characters to Visually Only create that effect. I logged back in, read the trolls whom replied to me, read the supporters whom spoke up for me, & decided that I would be best served holding my tongue. If I replied to the trolls I'd just get my butt banned again. If I replied to the supporters I'd just trigger the trolls to troll. So I accepted my spanking, left that post behind, & went on to the next article...
Thank you all for your concern & support. It's the reason I enjoy this place so much! I'll try to keep a more civil tongue from now on, but me & Behaving are all too often at loggerheads.
Like wearing pants. I don't see why it's required, and I can't afford the bail. Dagnabit!
I bought a tube of SuperGlue & a sheet of tempered glass the size of the top of my coffee table. I glued all the cards in a tiled mosaic to the glass so the design faces up from beneath the glass, then set the glass down on the table. It makes rather interesting art, especially with all the pieces glued back into place after being hit with a hammer in the frustrations of having the cards randomly lose my data for no damned good reason.
The mosaic design is of the Linux Penguin giving MS The Finger. It seemed fitting somehow.
Or perhaps that stuff they sell from the rolling Roach Coaches & leave you glued to the WC for hours afterwards in a case of the Flaming Farts?
A friend of mine ran a local BBS & kept crowing about how he had "secured it tighter than a virgin's morals".
He challenged me to find some way of infecting the BBS, and I accepted.
The result was a batch file that typed the ASCII code for a Space into a text file, copied that first text file into a second, then kept concatenating the files to the end of each other until the files were so huge that they filled the HDD.
I had to boot to a floppy, delete the second text file, clear the temp files, & reboot to the HDD, at which point I used PKZip to max compress the remaining text file down to nothing.
Once the zip file was made, I ran the batch file again.
I kept it up, creating the massive "empty" text files, rebooting to a floppy, deleting one of them & clearing the cache, and rebooting to add the resulting text file to the zip file.
By adding to rather than overwriting the compressed file, I ended up with a zip file nearly half a megabyte in size, in an era when 10Megabyte hard drives were still considered exclusive to data centers & server farms.
I changed the name of the compressed file (inside the zip container) to File_ID.Diz, this being the Description file that most BBSi would extract to use to post the description of the uploaded file to automated listings.
After adding a legit file inside to make it appear that the zip was also legit, I uploaded the whole thing to my friend's BBS.
The system promptly crashed when it attempted to uncompress the "tiny" description file, only to have what would normally uncompress to maybe a few Kb for a really detailed description, into something that spanned *GigaBytes*.
He didn't have the computational horsepower to handle the job, didn't have the HDD space to store it, and the board went down faster than a crack whore Jonesin for a fix.
He called me up screaming that I'd killed his machine, and I had to take repeated deep breaths to control the laughter.
I explained what I'd done, how I'd done it, & the simple steps needed to recover from the "virus" (reboot to floppy, delete the text file, flush the cache, & reboot to the HDD), and he promised to dismember me the next time I came over.
I made up for it by bringing over a pizza & case of soda, and he said he'd let me live.
So I never got into programming virii, I merely figured out ways to use systems against themselves, so a run away process, RAM & HDD gobbling "clean" program could do what Anti Virus software would have otherwise detected & quarrentined first.
"Oops, I'm sorry, did your uber fast 8088 with a full Meg of RAM and 5Meg Hard Drive suddenly shit itself? Good thing that wasn't a virus I uploaded to your secure system, huh?"
*Thumbs in ears, feisty raspberry & happy hooty monkey noises*
I don't want some "Thin & Light" that got that way by depriving me of all the useful ports I need to Get Shit Done, I want a thick n' chunky machine that has it all where it counts. (Can I say that I like my women this way as well? *Cough*)
Anyway, I went looking for a 6th gen I5 with 8Gb RAM or more, a 120Gb SSD or larger, with all the ports I need (multiple USB, RJ45 Gigabit LAN, SD reader, DVD DL writer, etc) and the only way I could GET it that way was to go for the "Workstation" class machines starting at ~2K dollars. And that *still* didn't guarantee me the ports, merely the ability to pay for a chassis that supported adding them BACK IN at additional cost.
What the hell? I'm willing to carry a heavier laptop for a larger battery & all the ports, but if I have to buy a bag load of dongles to add back the functions it lost in the "thin & light diet" then that's a machine I won't be buying.
So I picked up an Off Lease Dell Latitude E64xx with 4Gigs RAM & 60Gig HDD for less than the cost of *shipping* on a brand new machine, and even after paying to improve the RAM to max & swap to a 120Gig SSD, I'll have paid less than the base, crappy, "new & improved!" model that doesn't have even HALF the ports of the "old n' crappy" model.
Do you hear that Intel & Manufacturers? You just lost a sale because you can't be arsed to build a machine with a decent battery, the ports I need to Get Shit Done, at a price that doesn't make me wonder if you've packed your crack pipe with extra-potent toxic waste.
Sure it's a 2010 era used laptop for $300 (after all the upgrades), but if that doesn't require me to buy a pack full of dongles to replace the ports your "new n' shiny!" machine lacks, then the new n shiny will gather dust until you Get A Fekkin Clue.
I've got too much work to do to waste all my time hunting down dongles to add this or that, or setting up a Docking Station at every desk I might visit, just so I can plug in the DVD burner, the external NAS, a real keyboard, a Gigabit LAN cable, blah blah blah...
Oh look! My "new" laptop has all the ports! 4x USB, RJ45, SD card reader, DVD burner, and if I need more the seller threw in a docking station for free, which added another EIGHT USB ports, two RJ45, video ports out the wazoo, and the ability to charge a second battery...
It's like someone at Dell Knew What The Hell They Were Doing!
*Pretends to faint in shock*
Get a clue. I want a 6th gen super duper laptop, but damned if I want to pay premium prices for a machine that doesn't bother to include the stuff I need, and tries to charge me even MORE to put those functions back in.
*Rude thumbs in ears, spittle blowing, disgusting raspberry gesture*
Are you hiring? I'd like to work for your company! =-D