Peak Apple: First 'profit slip' in a decade

Oh dear..... how sad..... what a pity........ never mind.

Re: Pork holster.

"I then retrieved from between Christie's buttock, two clear baggies containing a large amount of a crystal substance."

Was it crack?

.....Ison was shaping up to be "potentially spectacular"

Even more spectacular when it lands in the Pacific.

@LarsG

"Does Psy get a cut of the proceeds or will Google pocket the lot of it?"

Dunno - I'm not Psy-chic

Drinking too much coffee can MAKE YOU BLIND

What are the effects if you're drinking coffee and having a wank at the same time - do you go blind twice as quick?

If it wasn't for us `oldies`.....

......none of this technology would be available in the first place - a point I'm forced to make to the grand-kids once in a while when they get stroppy.

So......

Let me get this straight. He damaged his helmet when playing with his balls?

Well, one thing at least....

The photos of Chinese model Li Ling in her see-through underwear have dispelled one myth. They don't go sideways after all.

It's a trap I tells yer....

<conspiracy>

The more people who get on line, the easier it is to keep track on everybody.

</conspiracy>

My...

My aren't we posh then using a finger for handwriting searches, I suppose you wear lingerie too don't you? Google voice search not good enough for you now eh? Well let me tell you. When I were a lad, if you wanted to search for summat, you got your arse down to the local library and bleedin well looked for it in the Encyclopaedia Britannica. Kids today, they don't know they're born.

87Gb?

" Virgin customer with traffic management applying during peak times could theoretically download 87 GB of data over a 24-hour period"

Theoretically maybe. In real life total bollocks - on my 10Mb connection downloads and general surfing slows down to a crawl between certain hours. I'm lucky to get 1.5Mb most days.

Re: Not the sharpest tool in the box

Noticed that he called himself `Dillo` in his apology post - shouldn't that be dildo?

Help ma Boab!

"It [mobile phone solution] allowed the council to try the concept of a mobile solution and demonstrate some frontline benefits, but it requires a larger back office support to run with back office staff taking verbal information from the operative and inputting into back office systems," Allan Barclay, service manager for building services at Fife, told Guardian Government Computing.

"The full solution would capture data inputted direct from the frontline device capturing job info and time management and removing the need for manual involvement."

They even speak management shite in Bonny Scotland - if that crock of shit isn't bad enough, imagine it in a Glaswegian accent.

@sharing is stealing

Pity you think like that, I was going to offer you half of my ham sandwich - don't think I'll bother now.

GitMeMyShootinIrons

What sort of sadistic twisted mind comes up with an idea like The Phantom Menace: The Musical ?

Was he/she dropped on their head as a baby? Did they suffer abuse and bullying in childhood? Whatever it was, I've never in all my years, countenanced such diabolical evil as this.

Justin Bieber as Aniken Skywalker? Oh, the humanity!

Re: re: Bohr model was abandoned 40 years ago

Two electrons walk into a bar. One turns to the other and says "Your round".

Best way to get to sleep...

1 - cheap MP3 player with in-ear bud type earphones.

2 - load said player with talk type programs (I use News Quiz podcasts)

3 - play chosen program with MP3 player set to turn off automatically after 30 minutes

4 - close eyes and nod off

5 - get up for piss around 5:00AM

6 - repeat steps 3 and 4

@Lusty

"There are plenty of people funding research into diseases such as Bill Gates"

What? There's a disease called Bill Gates?

Buzz......

"This isn't flying, this is falling with style! "

Re: Ahhh

I love the sound of deskbound middle-aged virgins complaining about the actress they'll be masturbating over later in the year.

The Doctor's new cumpanion?

Tits

We need more tits...

How.....

Do we know this woman is still a virgin because she's got Ed Zachary disease? i.e. Her face is Ed Zachary like her arse.

No photos to check?

@Steve Evans

"Our little satellite planet? No. The Moon orbits planet Earth, so it is a moon. Planets orbit the sun. Moons orbit planets. Once it was blown out of earth orbit and shot out across space it still wasn't orbiting the sun, so I guess it became a sodding great asteroid.

Still not a planet."

They ought to set you on as main script-writer for the new series because of your insight into planetary (sorry asteroidal) propulsion systems.

All well and good

But what are they like as bloody phones? Can you actually make and receive calls with them with decent reception?

It's a phone for fuck's sake - te-le-phone. An instrument that converts voice and other sound signals into a form that can be transmitted to remote locations and that receives and reconverts waves into sound signals. They don't need fancy additions and gadgets IMO - talk about over-egging the pudding.

@the-it-slayer

"Fortunately, designers like Jon inspire to create products that anyone can use and make them as practical as possible. "

Even these typical fanbois.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KGrXZ5pWko

`So I can throw away my Smart Card... `

No - you've got somewhere to swipe it now. An ass-swipe you might say.

How soon

will it be before Apple claim to have a patent on the technology?

What's

to stop computer hackers placing a pad of soft clay on a seat such as those in the company cafe, inviting the chosen computer user/victim to sit down for a cup of tea (say) then using the bumprint to fashion a pair of fake buttocks out of latex or somesuch rubber substitute, donning the aforementioned latex buttocks and waiting for the computer user to leave before commandeering his PC?

Rise of the machines

This is the beginning of the word-wide domination of computers over mankind. This car clearly made an attempt to kill the car's occupant but it's limited (for now) intelligence and computing capacity made it fail in the attempt. Connecting it to an analyser merely allowed it to access another PC and no doubt the interweb so that it could learn from it's mistake.

Trevor Pot wants to watch his step from now on.

If worst comes to the worst

You could always use the iPad as a chopping board.

"he lost 16 pounds as a result of the frozen Coors diet"

Probably gave him the shits.

As the Profanisaurus might say "After I ate all that Coors Lite I could shit through a sponge"

@:It's called Android Jelly bean

Hopefully the one after that will be called KitKat ... I like KitKats. Hmmmm KitKats....

Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything

Forty-two