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* Posts by Blubster

290 posts • joined 25 Jul 2007

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Lenovo Yoga 10: Mediocre tech, yes, but beautifully fondleable

Blubster

Re: All that's needed to make it perfect

"..apart from a better screen, processor etc, is for the tubular part top open, revealing space for a set of AA batteries a la Psion S5."

I saw this tablet on QVC a week or so ago (I know, I know.... :( ) and according to them, that tubular part does contain the batteries hence the average 10 hour use.

http://tinyurl.com/nmg7btw

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Boffins devise world's HARDEST tongue-twister

Blubster

Pheasant Plucker?

Ha! I spit on it.

Try this

Old Mrs. Hunt had a rough cut punt

Not a punt cut rough

But a rough cut punt.

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'Weird' OBJECT, PROPELLED by its OWN JETS, spotted beyond Mars orbit by Hubble

Blubster

Yorp

YORP is a bit rubbish isn't it ? They had enough for PYRO, though even PORY might have been preferable...

Ropy is better still, just like the speculations on what this phenomena is.

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Turkish TV presenter canned for flashing too much cleavage

Blubster
Meh

Re: Cultural

"I would suspect fact Israel is in Asia might have something to do with not being in the European trade group. You kind of have to draw a line somewhere in groups like that and being from a different continent is a convenient boundary to use."

They still manage to take part in the Eurovision Song contest though.......

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Air mattress blast blows German man across room

Blubster
Coat

Talk about

a Herr raising experience

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Samsung Galaxy S3 explodes, turns young woman into 'burnt pig'

Blubster
Happy

@LarsG

'Fanny Schlatter', you just couldn't make a name like that up could you!

Not as good as Fanny Chmelar

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmwGFX5pgXw

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Blind activist Chen given spyware-laden iPad and iPhone

Blubster

I take it that ......

.... they don't teach Greek mythology in China otherwise Chen may have known the story of the wooden horse of Troy.

Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes and all that.

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BOFH: Go on, beancounter, type DROP TABLE asset;

Blubster
Happy

Re: phrase of the day

"dropping tables like a epileptic removals man

I like it :-)"

As do I, a very cromulent expression.

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Living with a 41-megapixel 808 PureView: Symbian's heroic last stand

Blubster
Thumb Up

Crepuscular

Good word - had to Google it though.

Crepuscular - pertaining to, or resembling twilight; dim; indistinct.

Always new that reading theRegister was an education.

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Judge hands copyright troll an epic smack-down

Blubster

Re: @Buckaroo_Banzai (The scum fleecing the dumb)

@Jake

"I'm not a porn aficionado, but that's one hell of a slippery slope ..."

As the actress said to the bishop.

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What work? Tablet owners prefer to slack off with their slabs

Blubster
Happy

Re: Agreed

"I've not seen any office software that floats my boat."

Have a look at Kingsoft Office from Google Play - not too bad, and also free.

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Peak Apple: First 'profit slip' in a decade - and, boy, it's gonna be BIG

Blubster
Meh

Peak Apple: First 'profit slip' in a decade

Oh dear..... how sad..... what a pity........ never mind.

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Antarctic ice sheet melt 'not that unusual', latest ice core shows

Blubster
Alert

Re: Forty three feet! Golly.

"... London, Bangkok and New York, Shanghai and Mumbai will be among a number of cities which will eventually end up below sea level ..."

And this is a bad thing?

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Oklahoma woman cuffed with loaded .22 in pork holster

Blubster
Coat

Re: Pork holster.

"I then retrieved from between Christie's buttock, two clear baggies containing a large amount of a crystal substance."

Was it crack?

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World's 'smallest' mobe unveiled in Japan

Blubster
FAIL

Re: Kawaii desu!

Kowai desu!

That is all.

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NASA deep space probe sends back video of 'Comet of the Century'

Blubster
Mushroom

.....Ison was shaping up to be "potentially spectacular"

Even more spectacular when it lands in the Pacific.

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'Op! Op! Op!' Gangnam Style earns Google $8m

Blubster
Coat

@LarsG

"Does Psy get a cut of the proceeds or will Google pocket the lot of it?"

Dunno - I'm not Psy-chic

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Girlfriend 'tried to MURDER ME with her AMPLE BREASTS'

Blubster
Happy

Re: Pics or it didn't happen

Fuck me, I almost suffocated and all I did was look at the photos.

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Drinking too much coffee can MAKE YOU BLIND

Blubster
Coat

Drinking too much coffee can MAKE YOU BLIND

What are the effects if you're drinking coffee and having a wank at the same time - do you go blind twice as quick?

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Salt marshes will suck CO2 from air faster and faster as seas rise

Blubster
Happy

@AC 08:06

"Great! So the whole of coast of Essex and Norfolk will be OK while the rest us rush down to JJB Sports to get our trunks and water wings sorted!"

You'd best get a move on then JJB are going tits up.

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'Apple's iOS 6 maps app is SHOCKING, rushed and half-baked'

Blubster
Coat

Re: ACTIVATING REALITY DISTORTION FIELD...

"There's nothing wrong with the way Apple Maps represents the world. You're just looking at the world in the wrong way."

Didn't think iPhone users needed maps, I assumed they just blindly follow everyone else.

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Ten phones for seniors

Blubster
Meh

If it wasn't for us `oldies`.....

......none of this technology would be available in the first place - a point I'm forced to make to the grand-kids once in a while when they get stroppy.

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Chinese man's six-ton balls save lives

Blubster
Coat

So......

Let me get this straight. He damaged his helmet when playing with his balls?

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Booth babes banned by Chinese gaming expo

Blubster
Coat

Well, one thing at least....

The photos of Chinese model Li Ling in her see-through underwear have dispelled one myth. They don't go sideways after all.

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Lords blast UK.gov's fixation on broadband speed over reach

Blubster
Big Brother

It's a trap I tells yer....

<conspiracy>

The more people who get on line, the easier it is to keep track on everybody.

</conspiracy>

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Google adds handwriting to mobile search site

Blubster
Coat

My...

My aren't we posh then using a finger for handwriting searches, I suppose you wear lingerie too don't you? Google voice search not good enough for you now eh? Well let me tell you. When I were a lad, if you wanted to search for summat, you got your arse down to the local library and bleedin well looked for it in the Encyclopaedia Britannica. Kids today, they don't know they're born.

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BSkyB punches Virgin Media in ads watchdog fist fight

Blubster
Meh

Re: not sure what your on

No need to lie - during certain hours 8PM - 12AM usually, it slows down big style - I check it from time to time with Broadband Speed checker web-site. Normal surfing isn't affected but downloads and my Usenet connection is. Most other times it's acceptable but never the 10Mb I pay for.

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Blubster
FAIL

87Gb?

" Virgin customer with traffic management applying during peak times could theoretically download 87 GB of data over a 24-hour period"

Theoretically maybe. In real life total bollocks - on my 10Mb connection downloads and general surfing slows down to a crawl between certain hours. I'm lucky to get 1.5Mb most days.

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Google makes money on Nexus 7... just

Blubster
Happy

Re: Ye Typo

"But nonetheless, those of us who grew up in t'north some years ago still use thee and thou, thy and thine... and also occasionally the old 'st' endings: dost thou? Canst thou?

"Don't thee thou me lad; I'll tell thee when thee can thou me!""

Aye lad, you tell 'em. I use all of those (old Yorkshire fart that I am) as well as hast (has thou - have you).

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Burnt Samsung Galaxy S III singed by external source, probe reveals

Blubster
Happy

Re: Not the sharpest tool in the box

Noticed that he called himself `Dillo` in his apology post - shouldn't that be dildo?

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Hardy handymen handed handy hardened handheld hardware

Blubster
Happy

Re: Help ma Boab!

Yes I know, that's why I said IMAGINE that in a Glasgow accent - management speak is bad enough on it's own but Glasgow Gorbals Gobbledygook? Good grief.

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Blubster
Meh

Help ma Boab!

"It [mobile phone solution] allowed the council to try the concept of a mobile solution and demonstrate some frontline benefits, but it requires a larger back office support to run with back office staff taking verbal information from the operative and inputting into back office systems," Allan Barclay, service manager for building services at Fife, told Guardian Government Computing.

"The full solution would capture data inputted direct from the frontline device capturing job info and time management and removing the need for manual involvement."

They even speak management shite in Bonny Scotland - if that crock of shit isn't bad enough, imagine it in a Glaswegian accent.

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French court: YouTube has done 'enough' to avoid copyright liability

Blubster
Coat

@sharing is stealing

Pity you think like that, I was going to offer you half of my ham sandwich - don't think I'll bother now.

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And the worst film NEVER made is...

Blubster
Happy

GitMeMyShootinIrons

What sort of sadistic twisted mind comes up with an idea like The Phantom Menace: The Musical ?

Was he/she dropped on their head as a baby? Did they suffer abuse and bullying in childhood? Whatever it was, I've never in all my years, countenanced such diabolical evil as this.

Justin Bieber as Aniken Skywalker? Oh, the humanity!

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Hanging's too good for 'em - so what do you suggest?

Blubster
Devil

Re: Escape from the Isle of Man

Or..... as an alternative, give them all a back-pack apiece containing a map and some sort of weapon and set them off against each other Battle Royale style.

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Swiss, German physicists split the electron

Blubster
Coat

Re: re: Bohr model was abandoned 40 years ago

Two electrons walk into a bar. One turns to the other and says "Your round".

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Ten... Bedroom Gadget Treats

Blubster
Happy

Re: @Blubster. Time for a finger up the bum?

That made my eyes water. :o)

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Blubster
Meh

Re: Best way to get to sleep...

@ Annihilator

"Good shout, but think I'd need more material than 30 minutes each week, on a 6 week on/off cycle that the News Quiz operates on..."

That's why I have around 150 downloaded podcasts of The News Quiz and the Now Show stored on the MP3 player.

Yeah, I know... I'm a sad bastard but at least not a sad bastard with insomnia. :)

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Blubster
Happy

Best way to get to sleep...

1 - cheap MP3 player with in-ear bud type earphones.

2 - load said player with talk type programs (I use News Quiz podcasts)

3 - play chosen program with MP3 player set to turn off automatically after 30 minutes

4 - close eyes and nod off

5 - get up for piss around 5:00AM

6 - repeat steps 3 and 4

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Ten... Kitchen Gadget Treats

Blubster
Meh

@ A 31

"instant coffee is disgusting, stick to tea ... saying that, tassimo is not that good, where is Nespresso ??? far superior coffee, and no plastic (the Nespresso tubs recycle far better)"

Pfftt! I spit on them all.... you can't beat a bean to cup coffee machine and medium/dark roast LaVazza coffee beans.

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Amazon boss finds Apollo 11 engines on seabed

Blubster
Coat

@Lusty

"There are plenty of people funding research into diseases such as Bill Gates"

What? There's a disease called Bill Gates?

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Giant paper plane thunders across Arizona sky

Blubster
Happy

Buzz......

"This isn't flying, this is falling with style! "

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Dr Who scores new companion from Emmerdale

Blubster
Coat

Re: Ahhh

I love the sound of deskbound middle-aged virgins complaining about the actress they'll be masturbating over later in the year.

The Doctor's new cumpanion?

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Blubster

@ ThomH

You bastard . You're talking about the woman I love :o)

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Bikini clad Princess Leia spied shakin' booty in Star Wars game

Blubster
Meh

Tits

We need more tits...

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Chinese woman sparks net craze with virgin website

Blubster
Coat

How.....

Do we know this woman is still a virgin because she's got Ed Zachary disease? i.e. Her face is Ed Zachary like her arse.

No photos to check?

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Space: 1999 returning to TV?

Blubster
Meh

@Steve Evans

"Our little satellite planet? No. The Moon orbits planet Earth, so it is a moon. Planets orbit the sun. Moons orbit planets. Once it was blown out of earth orbit and shot out across space it still wasn't orbiting the sun, so I guess it became a sodding great asteroid.

Still not a planet."

They ought to set you on as main script-writer for the new series because of your insight into planetary (sorry asteroidal) propulsion systems.

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