* Posts by Stratman

779 publicly visible posts • joined 25 Jul 2007

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Feds propose 50-state ban on mobile use while driving

Stratman

Intractable Potsherd

" Not wearing a seatbelt does not affect other road users, it only makes the results of any crash worse for the individual concerned."

Not only does it affect other road users, eg. road closed while the medics carefully extract you on a spinal board as opposed to you opening the door and getting out, it affects every taxpayer by making it more expensive to put you back together again.

Still, as long as you have the right to be a twunt, eh?

New account of Flight 447 disaster published

Stratman

I know it's not really helpful here, but way back when I was gaining my PPL, it was ingrained into us to "Believe the instruments". Maybe they themselves were 'going on autopilot' and their training was kicking in.

Fuel taxes don't hurt the world's poor - they don't have cars

Stratman

No, it just tastes like it.

Samsung gets a win in Oz patent battle

Stratman

Why go through the charade of the various lower courts? Why not just go straight to the High Court since that's where everything is decided anyway?

Falklands, Cardiff lie beneath track of rogue Phobos-Grunt

Stratman

The reason we have a UK Space Agency is so the twenty members of the Parliamentary Space Committee can, at the taxpayer's expense, visit* the launch facilities of other nations usually situated in the tropics.

*Often during the winter months.

Scientists probe Earth's core, make mystifying discovery

Stratman
Coat

At least we know the Earth isn't rusty....

Spillover from 400lb man squeezed fellow flier into galley

Stratman

Why heat the cargo bay? Shivering for eight hours is probably the most exercise the lard mountain has done in the last twenty years.

Murdoch junior QUITS board of Sun publisher

Stratman

As a director of NI at the time the alleged shenanigans were taking place?

Engineers seek funds for world’s largest Tesla coil

Stratman

I like the electric car bit. One of these would be a splendid way of dealing with the Middle Lane Owners Club.

Atomic time boffins build better second-watcher

Stratman

Since 1967 the Second has been defined as 9,192,631,770 wobbles of a Caesium 133 atom.

Which is handy if you happen to have a clock uses wobbling Caesium atoms as its reference.

Man sues boss for 'condemning him to eternal damnation'

Stratman

Why not start a religion.......

Go on then..........

Stratman
FAIL

If he chose to have it, it wouldn't have been an accident.

Too rude for the road: DVLA hot list of banned numberplates

Stratman

Anybody who thinks they're being smart or cool by paying over the odds for a random selection of letters should be made to drive around for a few months with the registration KN08 END on their car, just to get used to it.

Doomsday 2012 mega volcano 'unlikely' - NASA

Stratman

That'll be Really Old Faithful then........

Assange takes extradition fight to Supreme Court

Stratman

" the House of Lords, the UK’s partially-elected upper house, "

That's news to me.

Salman Rushdie hissy-fit forces Facebook name U-turn

Stratman

I wonder how many of the 115,000 managed to finish reading his tweets.

Mystery radioisotopes in Czech air are not from Fukushima

Stratman

Ah, so they're *friendly* radioactive isotopes...!

...and henceforth shall be known as Magic Moonbeams.

Mystery of MAGNETIC ROCKS FOUND ON MOON cracked

Stratman

Or could it be the journey back to Earth magnetised them, as they moved through our magnetic field?

UK.gov moves to close VAT loophole on etailers

Stratman

Great. They've stemmed the £100M leak in VAT avoidance.

Now how about going after a certain airtime provider, who avoided £6 billion in tax by virtue of having an accommodation address in Lichtenstein.

Happy birthday, Tech City: Have another confusing map

Stratman
Thumb Up

Mmmmmm, hobnobs.

Immigrants face £49k wage minimum to stay

Stratman

Will any of the £49k earners be deported when their accountant manages to show HMRC they only earn £20k?

US Supremes liken GPS tracking to 1984's Big Brother

Stratman

[quote]

“Merely watching a suspect in a city street was obviously not a search or seizure,” he wrote. “Does that change if you switch to video cameras? Lots of cameras? Beepers? GPS devices? Where do you draw the line?”

[/quote]

Watching a suspect, either with CCTV or Mk1 eyeball, are purely passive.

Bugging a suspect without a warrant isn't passive, it's active. That's the difference.

German website offers custom cow killing

Stratman

It's not the journey from the abattoir that's usually the stressful one ;)

Why can't civil servants keep a grip on their BlackBerrys?

Stratman

My last employer (I'm now retired) had the idea of giving us all Blackberries to replace the huge paper rotas we were sent every week. We were called into a meeting room to have them bestowed on us, and were told in no uncertain terms how we were to look after them as if they were our own, and what penalties would befall us if we lost one regardless of how it happened.

Almost to a man (and woman) we got up and went to leave, saying that if they wanted us to carry their kit around we'll do it at their risk, not ours.

We won.

Tesla pre-sells all 2012 Model S output

Stratman

When the liquids run out or become too scarce to waste on personal transpor,t it most certainly will happen, decent range or otherwise.

Get used to it.

Air traffic control data found on eBayed network gear

Stratman

Perhaps in the cyberworld the meaning of 'destruction' is as elastic as that of 'unlimited'.

Faster-than-light back with surprising CERN discovery

Stratman
Coat

The barman says "We don't serve faster than light neutrinos in here."

A neutrino walks into a bar.

Finance software bug causes $217m in investor losses

Stratman

Presumably there are $217m of windfall profits on the other side of the deals. Will the winners pay him a £2.5m bonus?

Thought not. Typical finance 'industry'. We lose and it's everybody else's fault, we win and it's trebles all round.

1-in-3,200 chance* that a fiery satellite chunk will hit someone on Friday

Stratman

People win the lottery every week. Are people hit by satellites every week?

Everyone knew NoTW 'rogue reporter' bit was untrue

Stratman

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Yet again the old adage is proven true

"It isn't the crime that get you, it's the cover-up"

Single-molecule 'motor' measures just a nanometer

Stratman

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Even as it stands now, it would out-perform a G-Wiz

Apple's ex-cop and the case of the lost iPhone 5

Stratman

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No problem. Crapple will just patent 'The Police' , then sue all police forces for infringement.

Amazon refuses Touchpad refunds after price slash frenzy

Stratman

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How does that stop people returning the goods for a full refund within seven days?

Even if they had replied by return of post, the DSR and "Gimme the difference" are two completely separate things. One is the law of the land, the other is tough luck.

IDLENESS sees Brits haemorrhage cash to mobe firms

Stratman

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Just use the 'Contact us' link on Vodafone's website. It worked perfectly for me when I asked for the network unlocking codes for a couple of phones I had lying around, and when I asked for the Porting Code when I finally had enough of them. I had the codes emailed to me within a few days. No 'Retentions Department' delaying everything, just an efficient service.

Four months' porridge for 20-minute Facebook riot page

Stratman
FAIL

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Er, that should be hanging's, as in hanging is.

Harsh and excessive punishment awaits you.............

Stratman

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Posting encouragements to riot on a night when people are losing their employment, their home and even their life because of rioting is inexcusable. I put it on a par with replying, "Only a bomb" when airport security staff ask what's in your luggage.

Jail time is an excessive response though. Much better to sentence them to a long period of Community Service or whatever it's called these days. That way they'll see the real consequences of their ill advised pranks.

Oxford adds woot! to dictionary

Stratman

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If the parties had been properly introduced beforehand.

Fort Knox military cops disgusted with solar patrol carts

Stratman
WTF?

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"Helmet solar panels could be the next big thing in fashion!"

The mind boggles

2nd-hand Popemobile, also used by Neil Armstrong, for sale

Stratman

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Sadly it can only turn petrol into water.

Apple sells world's most expensive flash drive

Stratman

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Do I detect rounded corners on that drive.....

Apple changed shape of Galaxy Tab in court filing

Stratman

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There's the truth, and there's the truth according to Crapple.

Police kill mobile phone service to squelch protest

Stratman

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Alternatively, you may find your front door being kicked in at stupid o'clock a.m.

Joe Public invited to hunt God particle

Stratman

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One thought would be to discover exactly what set of circumstances would produce the observed results.

In other words, "We have the answer, now what's the question?"

Pacific island mints Star Wars coinage

Stratman

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They may not be buying many ice creams, but a Stormtrooper helmet?

Dunkin' Donuts waitress offers additional dunkin'

Stratman

Re: Competing against Starbucks?

"No coffee beans were harmed in the making of this beverage"

Italian boffins to robo-grapple space junk

Stratman
Mushroom

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Can it rid us of the pestilence that is Sky?

George Lucas defeated by Stormtrooper helmet man

Stratman

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Andrew Ainsworth said: "......................... I can now focus on producing authentic replicas for serious collectors of these items in the UK."

Perhaps their girlfriends can buy them one.........

Four illegal ways to sort out the Euro finance crisis

Stratman

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Read Terry Pratchett's "Making Money". It tells you everything you need to know about how money works.

Really.

Nepalese gov to nail Everest's bigness in row with China

Stratman

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I think YAAC was hinting at the rising sea levels caused by insufficient bunny hugging and the like.

Airport screener stuffs stolen iPad into (own) trousers

Stratman

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In order to squeeze the clip you need at least one opposable thumb.

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