* Posts by Stratman

571 posts • joined 25 Jul 2007

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MP caught playing Candy Crush at committee meeting: I'll ‘try’ not to do it again

Stratman

It gets worse

The Sergeant at Arms has started an investigation. Not into the MP's behaviour but into how pictures of him microbating got into the wild.

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All aboard the Poo Bus! Ding ding, route Number Two departing

Stratman
Coat

One has crashed on a roundabout

Police are examining the skid marks.

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Dark side of the DUNE: Probot snaps shadowy comet surface selfie

Stratman

Re: LMFAO

This is why cousins shouldn't marry.

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BOUNCY BOUNCY: Comet probot Philae landed TWICE

Stratman

With such low gravity...

.. how is the mother ship being held in orbit?

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'Yes, yes... YES!' Philae lands on COMET 67P

Stratman
Pint

Boffinry at its most magnificent

Have a pint

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3D PRINTED GUNS: THIS time it's for REAL! Oh, wait – no, still crap

Stratman

Re: Don't see the problem

From the article, it seems standing in front of it isn't that dangerous and standing behind it is likely to seriously damage the shooter.

What's not to like?

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Stratman

Re: But against the backdrop of your British readership...

Worked well for Reeva Steenkamp, didn't it.

She was well protected by her man and his big gun.

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ROGUE SAIL BOAT blocks SPACE STATION PODULE blastoff

Stratman

Power gives way to sail

As per the title

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'It's NOT a fishing expedition', say police over random spot checks on gun owners

Stratman

Downvoted for asking a question?

I sincerely hope whoever did it doesn't have access to firearms.

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Stratman

I have a vague recollection that one of the conditions of holding a firearms licence is the 'authorities' can inspect the guns and ammunition, and how and where they're stored at any time.

Is this the case? Was it ever the case?

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Kingston's aviation empire: From industry firsts to Airfix heroes

Stratman

Kingston is also where England came into being

In the year 927, when Athelstan united the separate kingdoms of Wessex and Mercia and became the first king of England.

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Euro Commission drags Belgium to court over telco regulator's independence

Stratman

Are there any EU standards for how long a giant supranational organisation can go without having its accounts signed off by the auditors?

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Cops and spies should blame THEMSELVES for smartphone crypto 'problem' - Hyppönen

Stratman

Re: 2-part security?

www.windowsphone.com -> Select phone you want to wipe -> Find my Phone -> Erase -> Confirm

From the Windowsphone site

"To erase your phone

If you're certain that you can't get your phone back, or if you have sensitive information on it that you want to protect until you recover it, you can erase your phone remotely.

On your computer, go to windowsphone.com.

Point to the phone in the top-right corner, then click Find My Phone. If you're prompted, sign in with the same Microsoft account you used to sign in on your phone.

Click Erase.

If you're absolutely, positively sure, tick the I'm sure! Please erase my phone now checkbox, then click Erase."

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Ferraris, Zondas and ... er, a bike with a 500hp V10 under the saddle

Stratman

Re: I don't know much about big engines

I was thinking the same thing.

Blip the throttle on that thing and the crankshaft will stay still while the bike spins round.

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Spin doctors crack 'impossible' asteroid hurtling towards Earth

Stratman

Re: The Only Rubble Pile is Between Astronomers' Ears

"Some asteroids, such as Vesta, have craters that should have shattered them into fragments when they were hit. Vesta is only 520 kilometers wide, but possesses a crater 460 kilometers in diameter The only suitable explanation, according to gravity-based models of asteroid behavior, is that they are like big sand piles, absorbing impacts without shattering."

It may be only 520 kilometers wide now, but who's to say it wasn't many times that before the 460 km crater was formed, and the 520 km version is just what's left after the impact?

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Japanese boffins invent 4.4 TREEELLION frames per second camera

Stratman

Re: Peter Jackson is furious

Instead of just seeming like it.

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Fiat Panda Cross: 'Interesting-looking' Multipla spawn hits UK

Stratman

Don't get too hung up on the supposedly low power output and its effect on climbing ability.

It's equipped with something called a 'gearbox' which turns low torque/high revs into high torque/low revs. It's almost as if automotive designers had thought about it.

Do your dimensional analysis and you'll see Power = Torque x Revs.

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Bose says today is F*** With Dre Day: Beats sued in patent battle

Stratman

No highs, no lows

Must be Bose

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Rural mobile coverage: Tweeting twits to join chirping tits in UK's national parks

Stratman

HELLO! I'M ON THE PENNINE WAY!

........................

NO, IT'S CRAP! THERE ISN'T A STARBUCKS* FOR MILES!

*Other homeopathic 'coffees' are available

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Lyft hits the brakes: Ban threat stalls taxi app's New York City launch

Stratman

".....its driver has not been subject to the TLC’s required drug and background checks,"

I'm more concerned my driver may not be a psychotic crackhead, and I'll miss out on an essential part of the New York experience..

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El Reg nips down IKEA's 'I've Got A Screw Loose Street'

Stratman

"myself and my glamorous assistant and apprentice boffin Katarina rolled up"

Should that not be "When my glamorous assistant and apprentice boffin Katarina and I rolled up" ?

Would anybody really say "When myself did something"?

Words are the tools of a journalist's trade, using tools incorrectly causes problems.

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German government orders local CIA station chief to pack his bags

Stratman

Re: Just German face-saving theatrics

Let 'em build it first, then chuck 'em out.

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Cosmic dust riddle BREAKTHROUGH: Study tackles stuff of the universe

Stratman

What is the 'shockwave' made of?

And what sort of size are the dust particles?

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USA to insist on pre-flight mobe power probe

Stratman

Gel implant bras

Now I have your attention, these 'figure enhancing' gel implant bras are the perfect medium for smuggling binary explosives.

Problem is, only the good looking ones would be selected for a 'random' check. Guess where the booby prize would be hidden.

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App maker defends selling S.F. parking spots as a FREE SPEECH issue

Stratman

Meh

First World Problem

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Google, Microsoft to add remote KILL switch to phones

Stratman
Mushroom

Let's hope there is...

.... and there's a Tom and Jerry or Roadrunner moment when it rings.

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TalkTalk whips BT with riding crop over sport fibs in telly ad

Stratman

Re: Fear the power of the mighty ASA

"They are about as useful as a chocolate chisel. Or OFGEM."

Or the Telephone Preference Service and its junk mail equivalent.

Useless the lot of 'em.

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DAMN you El Reg, CALL ME A BOFFIN, demands enraged boffin

Stratman

Real boffins

wash their hands before going to the toilet.

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Boffins debunk red wine miracle antioxidant myth

Stratman

I feel more research is called for

I'm happy to do my bit for science. Cheers!

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Vinyl-fetish hipsters might just have a point

Stratman

"What was that? Play it backwards whilst watching Alice in Wonderland and consuming mind altering chemicals, and you might just hear a secret message?"

The message should be "You're ruining your stylus, you're ruining your stylus"

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Titsup UK Border IT causes CHAOS at air and seaports in Blighty

Stratman

What would have happened if

They all just said "Sod this" and walked straight past the desks.

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FCC seeks $48K fine from mobile phone-jamming driver

Stratman

Re: Jebus

I'd go further than just a fine. Confiscate the phone on the spot.

When you'v been found not guilty in a court you get it back, otherwise it becomes landfill.

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Reg hack hacked off by iPhone 5 repair notice

Stratman

"Do you know who I am?"

"Is there a doctor in the house? This man doesn't know who he is"

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Dell charges £5 to switch on power-saving for new PCs (it takes 5 clicks)

Stratman

Re: OH NOES THINK OF THE CHILDREN

I'd say it's more like a car dealer charging £X hundred for an option like automatically folding door mirrors, when that option is merely enabled in the car's software.

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Red-faced LOHAN team 'fesses up in blown SPEARS fuse fiasco

Stratman

Was the fuse mounted on a round tuit?

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VAT's all folks: Telecoms and services tax to be set at consumer's homeland rate

Stratman

Re: Glad I live in Switzerland...

Which also has to abide by many EU regulations in order gain these benefits, but has no say in their formulation.

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Windows Phone 8.1: Like WinPho 8, but BETTER

Stratman

Re: What about?

How about allowing users to add attachments from within the email app?

As things stand, the only attachment you can add to an email is a picture. To add an attachment such as a pdf or xls, you start by selecting the file, you then compose the email around it. Of course, this means it's only possible to add one attachment. Not very productive when I want to send two or three invoices, for instance.

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Time is on their side: NIST's new atomic clock accurate for 300 MEEELLION years

Stratman

Serious question

How do they determine the accuracy of the most accurate clock ever built?

And how do they know it will have lost a second rather than gained one?

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Dear Reg: What is a 'Lag' and a 'Jacksey'?

Stratman

Re: Tread carefully

Upvoted, specifically this "nobody has the right to not be offended. "

If you don't want to be offended, don't live in a democracy.

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Spam, a lot of it: Bubble tea is the Seoul of wit

Stratman

So it wasn't just me then.

"I even received something similar in the post claiming that I was the sole inheritor of $14.7m from a relative hitherto unbeknown to me, a Mr John Dabbs of Hong Kong,"

I too kept the letter for posterity.

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Canadian spookhaus says airport Wi-Fi slurp didn't invade privacy

Stratman

Re: Assume all 3rd party WiFi tapped

A good rule of thumb to remember is 'If you're not paying for the product, you are the product'.

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Virgin Media's 'little(ish)' book of deals contained BIG FIBS, rules ad watchdog

Stratman

Re: The ASA

They sort of did that with the bottom-feeder airlines. The ones that splashed "Benidorm for £1!!!" on their front page. Except when you got to the checkout it had risen to fifty or sixty pounds. Still cheap but not what was promised. Now they have to include all taxes, booking fees, credit card fees, fuel charges, luggage fees, pilot surcharge, oxygen mask rental, window use fee, engine surcharge and so on in the splash price.

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Now we're cookin' on gas: Google crafts sugar-alert contact lens for diabetics

Stratman

Somebody won't be happy

Namely the companies who literally give away blood glucose test meters so they can sell you their test strips at 50p a pop.

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High Court derails Google defence in Safari browser stalker cookie brouhaha

Stratman

"Funny, they play in the munchkin playground with the rest of the fairies overseen by their mother, passing every minute detail of their lives back to Apple, and share it on Fakebook. Someone else slurps the data and their up in arms? Bit hypocritical isn't it?"

Not at all.

Let's assume you're a man and have a wife. Because she agrees to have sex with you, does that make it OK for anyone else to have sex with her without her consent?

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Didn't get a Nook for Xmas? That's OK, hardly anyone else did, either

Stratman

Another happy user

I bought a Simple Touch when the price dropped to less than £40 and am very happy with it.

It does what it's supposed to (apart from embedded pdf images) without drama.

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Naked Aussie gets wedged in washing machine

Stratman

Re: Bah!

"And how did he deal with the issue of the agitator"

More olive oil?

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It's not gold in the frozen hills of Antarctica, my boy, it's DIAMONDS

Stratman

Much like the Japanese and whaling

They won't mine them as such. Japan catches whales for 'research purposes' (does this whale have a tail? Yes it does, pass the wasabi), any nation wanting to upset DeBeers' cartel will start researching the proportion of diamond bearing Kimberlite in Antarctica, then helpfully clear up after itself.

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Apple iWatch due in October 2014, to wirelessly charge from one metre away – report

Stratman

Now where have I seen that clock face before?

A copyright case where Apple came second

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Mexican Cobalt-60 robbers are DEAD MEN, say authorities

Stratman

Good job it didn't happen in Blighty

"Have members of your family been killed by stuff they stole? Call Shysters-R-Us for a no-win-no-fee payday"

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Boffins devise world's HARDEST tongue-twister

Stratman

Re: I never saw the point of this concept.

Or he/she could have just bought a Watkins Super Shadow echo device.

Now, about this cow orking. Is it worth it?

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