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* Posts by John Styles

222 posts • joined 23 Jul 2007

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Look out, bankers! It's Lily Cole and her (Brit taxpayer-funded) WISH-PRINTING ATM

John Styles

Re: I wish

Also known as a mimmoth

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SQL giant Oracle plans NoSQL standards body – top Reg sources

John Styles

In days gone by..

... the general rule was that the number 2 vendor in any field was the one who would be enthusiastic about pushing standards.

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Nokia tries to lure Android porters with free Nokia X mobes

John Styles

Old man waves fist at clouds, film at 11

Am I the only person to feel a stab of sadness that the 'London Android Group' is just something to do with a rather crummy operating system running on mobile phones?

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MtGox to customers: Your call is important to us … NOT!

John Styles

Ponzi scheme

is a Ponzie scheme something cooked up between Fonzie and Potsie? Why didn't they cut Ralph Malph in on the deal - I can see why they wouldn't have invited Ritchie, he was a bit of a prig.

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Google Glass: Reg man tests tech specs

John Styles

I'm not letting Motorola scan MY ring!

Alien probes only.

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Woman claims she was assaulted in Google Glass 'HATE CRIME'

John Styles

Re: No one under 35 can drive your car?

At one point my Dad's car insurance was for any driver except my brother - after my brother had 3 accidents in his first year of driving.

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Robots demanding equal API rights? It's just a matter of time

John Styles

Re: Meh

Don't understand. Not being born yesterday I am aware what an API is and why I might want to call them, I am just interested from a sociological point of view why people have started talking about them as though they were something new and exciting. It is as though fish, after years of swimming in water suddenly started getting excited about it.

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John Styles

Re: The case for a well-defined API for 'calling the kettle black'

Everyone's a critic.

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John Styles

Meh

Why have 'APIs' suddenly become cool?

Whenever I see people orgasming over APIs I like to imagine the term 'API' being pronounced as in EMI in the song by the Sex Pistols.

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John Styles

A change is as good as a REST (interface)

http://kettle:666/youare/000000

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London calling: Date set for launch of capital's very own domain name

John Styles

We of the Rest Of England Liberation Front salute this

It will enable us to boycott companies more effectively.

All together now, stand for the ROE national anthem.

And did those feet in ancient times, walk outside the M25?

And was the holy lamb of God, outside TFL Zone 6 seen?

etc.

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BBC, ITV gang up on YouView with 'FreeView Connect'

John Styles

Oceania is at war with Eastasia, Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia

I read last week that ITV Player is going on NowTV - Sky and ITV having signed a deal promising peace in our time. At 10 quid for the box it was a bargain and the UIs for the different services are more or less OK.

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Davos Diary: POVERTY disruption in ACTION. Cash-poor? Just mine a #BongCoin!

John Styles

Ah...

My Friday afternoon rage espresso.

Meanwhile, I am pleased to see that I am near the Knowledge Spine where there is going to be a Space Catapult Centre

https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/276205/Oxford-Oxfordshire-City-Deal.pdf

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Stephen Fry rewrites computer history again: This time it's serious

John Styles

Stob

Is it time for El Reg to republish Ms Stob's poem about the ghost of Kildall haunting Bill?

(I was hoping you would write this post - reading Fry on technology, it's like a rage espresso)

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Tech City UK boss legs it, dumps project in lap of BlackBerry exec

John Styles

Re: Aiming high

Sounds like a joke... a DJ, a TV personality and a pervert walked into a bar

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Data scrapers used Amazon cloud to reap biz bods' CVs, wails LinkedIn

John Styles

LinkedIn has butt-hut?

I weep bitter bitter tears.

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Ten classic electronic calculators from the 1970s and 1980s

John Styles

FX 502-P

For me it was the FX 502 P with the strange yellow LCD, whatever happened to them? Unlike the 602P you had to look at the program as its mnemonics - the digits and the letters C,E,F and P, IIRC.

Who remembers Dick Pountain's column in PCW? There were strange tricks you could do to exploit a bug in the firmware to display some of the letters and put the digits 1 to 4 in the first character of the exponent i.e. you could display 1 E 499.

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How Britain could have invented the iPhone: And how the Quangocracy cocked it up

John Styles

Theres goes my blood pressure again...

But, how stupid (or naive is probably a better word) do you have to be to not realise this would happen if you got involved in something like that? Or to not bail out when it is obvious that what it is obvious would happen happens?

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UK.gov declares digital success as PR, food shops redefined as 'tech' businesses

John Styles

... and any company where any of the employees ever have sex (not necessarily at work or on company premises) will be redefined as a brothel.

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Last 7m non-digital Brits are OUT OF LUCK: I'm OFF, says Baroness Fox

John Styles

A more worthy charity than MLF's Go ON UK

Is Mrs Doyle's Go ON Go ON Go ON Ireland.

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What’s new in SQL 2014?

John Styles

...

and no OLEDB. Back to ODBC, chaps.

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London businesses to signal UNSWERVING LOYALTY to capital with .london domain

John Styles

We of the ROELF (Rest of England Liberation Front) want a suitable domain for ourselves.

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True fact: Britain is losing its brains

John Styles

To me this fails basic plausiblity

"13.11 per cent of its emigration comprising inventors"

Oh come off it.

In what sense can this plausibly be true?

Anecdote is not data but to me I would say the main human exports of this country are

i) retired people

ii) TEFL teachers

iii) software developers (though this is obviously most prey to selection effect), I suppose they count as inventors if every line of code counts as being lovingly invented.

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Oh My GOD! Have the TORIES ERASED THE INTERNET?*

John Styles

But..

I have seen it claimed elsewhere ( http://www.jwz.org/blog/2013/01/shes-a-flight-risk-2/ ) that the Wayback Machine excludes things based on the CURRENT robots.txt. Surely it shoul be excluding things based on the THEN robots.txt?

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BT Sport scores own goal with £897m Champions League footie rights deal

John Styles

Re: The problem with BT's attempts to buff up their brand...

Old Dilbert joke: 'Uranus Hertz'

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Microsoft boffins test rival 'Google Glass' geek goggles, say insiders

John Styles

Oh noooooooooooo!

Everything's gone blue!

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What Surface RT flop? Nokia said to be readying WinRT slab for September

John Styles

Re: re: Whatever is brewing in Nokia's Espoo headquarters

Wasn't that an Iain Banks novel: 'Espoo dare street'?

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John Styles

That would be 'Sirius' as in Sirius Cybernetics Corporation

"Your plastic pal who's fun to be with!"

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Bloke in shed starts own DAB radio station - with Ofcom's blessing

John Styles

Hoorah!

I look forward to the pirate DAB radio. The FM pirate that turns up in Oxfordshire from time to time adds to the gaiety of nations. Ah, bless the youth that can say things like 'a big shout out to the Chinnor Massive' without any sign of irony. What it is to be young.

Does anyone remember Thameside Radio (the London Sunday evening land-based pirate) doing a pirate TV thing one Christmas - it was quite a powerful signal, I could get it in Amersham (1984 according to Wikipedia which sounds about right to me)?

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Microsoft haters: You gotta lop off a lot of legs to slay Ballmer's monster

John Styles

Hmm

I know I am an old fart, but to me lumping in 'real' PCs (server / desktop / laptop) with tablets and mobiles for 'endpoint' volumes makes as much sense to me as lumping in 'real' PCs with cans of baked beans and then saying that by shipped volumes (i.e. number of PCs vs number of cans of PCs) Microsoft should be worried that Heinz has a massively larger market share.

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Signing out of a broken Britain: The final Quatermass serial

John Styles

Didn't this start on the first evening back after the great ITV strike of '79?

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PM Cameron calls for modern, programmable computers! (We think)

John Styles

Re: modern methods of computing like coding

In my first software job (approx 30 years ago), saying 'programming' was looked down on - 'programming' was what amateurs did, whereas 'coding' was one of the stages in the waterfall model that proper developers did. I don't know how widely this view extended.

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John Styles

Re: what are you on about?

No, the point is that whilst I think most people here have teased out of what he said that this means 'go back to teaching proper programming skills' (e.g. the purpose of the Raspberry Pi project and foundation), his speech writers are too hopeless to come up with something accurate and not gibberish conveying this. I'm sure that you would be ashamed of coming up with something so wide of the mark in your daily working life and wouldn't accept colleages doing so.

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Former Microsoft Windows chief: I was right to kill the Start button

John Styles

I cannot help think of the Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail

N/T

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Facebook plans globe-spanning hardware deployment

John Styles

Oh, SPANNING

Thought you said 'globe spamming'

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Brit unis get £7.5m of taxpayers' cash for cybersecurity PhDs

John Styles

Flagellate the moribund equine one more time

I see one of the Oxford bullet points is:

"effective systems verification and assurance"

I imagine that this is some 'formal methods' stuff being taken for another canter round the block. Not, clearly, that it is completely worthless, but I do have a feeling the Oxford Comp Sci academics are quite good of relieving people of their money by putting a new spin on whatever they wanted to do anyway.

Pause briefly to mock their 'about us' page with its links that aren't https://www2.cybersecurity.ox.ac.uk/contact-us/

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Why I'm hiring the BRAINS and BALLS of CONSERVATIVE 2.0

John Styles

Gamification? Meh

We at Pengwyn Towers are working on the next stage beyond gamification of the workspace - pornifiction of the workplace.

Here's the API we will be using https://github.com/qdot/librealtouch/blob/master/python/realtouch.py (NSFW by implication) - the fact that it is in Python is somehow appropriate.

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Nvidia, Continuum team up to sling Python at GPU coprocessors

John Styles

Noise

Unless someone funds some proper market research (and why would they) we will never really know what languages people really use. Assuming of course you can agree what counts as programming. Does using IF(logical_test,value_if_true,value_if_false) in Excel count?

Most of these measures are measures of people jumping up and down squeaking more than anything. Clearly if a, say, Fortran programmer buys one book every ten years, changes jobs every twenty and doesn't blog or post to forums they aren't going show up , whereas a 22 year old using Python on Pails and Javascript in Jails tweeting every commit to the tosspothub version control repository is.

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Freeview telly channels face £240m-A-YEAR shakedown by Ofcom

John Styles

Will no-one rid us of these jerks with spreadsheets?

Will no-one rid us of these jerks with spreadsheets?

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MWC 2013: The Chinese are coming - and you ain't seen nothing yet

John Styles

Fear not

The West can compete on its management skills and strategic thinking.

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Microsoft releases first Windows OS in an original American language

John Styles

Isn't the time honoured way of getting Windows to support a language to add it to KDE and then get lots of publicity, then Microsoft will follow?

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Will Westerners soon be getting their IT direct from Asian players?

John Styles

If the actual work is being done by Indians in India anyway...

... then that must mean the only reason for hiring a UK (or more likely UK subsidiary of a US company) will be the superiority of the UK / US managers and their strategic vision etc...

HA HA HA HA HA [FX: Falls off perch laughing]

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Half of all app store revenue goes to just 25 developers

John Styles

Re: vast number of really useless

And for life. See Eton, media internships etc.

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Hold the front page for ETERNITY: Murdoch kills The Daily

John Styles

Voice

I am surprised that absence of voice is a problem. Most American daily papers are bland in the extreme, particularly ones outside major markets. And, believe it or not, (some) people buy USA Today, it's not just given away for free at chain motels.

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Piracy haven Newzbin2 gives up, can't pay the bills

John Styles

Nostalgia

Back in the days when American TV shows got shown here ages after they were shown in the U.S. and back when there were things worth watching, I used to pay fo one of these premium news servers. The joy of downloading Buffy / X-Files episodes over NTL dial-up, then assembling the parts then unRARing them.

It is frightening how long ago it was that Buffy and the X-Files finished.

I think the last thing I downloaded was the first episode of Tru Calling. Whilst I commend the TV network for knowing their audience, in having a series that involved Eliza Dushku running between places without adequate support (*), it didn't quite seem worth the few dollars a month.

(*) I hope she got danger money.

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Where were the bullet holes on OS/2's corpse? Its head ... or foot?

John Styles

The closest I ever got to throwing a computer out the window...

... was trying to get OS/2 onto one.

I actually quite liked OS/2 1.1. It was a shame that

a) it was almost impossible to get it to install on computers, even IBM PS/2s.

b) it had a habit of lovingly resuming things on reboot so accurately that once it had crashed, it would crash in the same way on restart etc.

The deliberate confusion with having the extended edition allegedly only work on PS/2s was a big mistake.

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BBC in secret trial to see if you care about thing you plainly don't

John Styles

Mark my words

If they turn FM off there will be riots, burning cars etc. etc.

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Microsoft patents spy-TV to check you've paid for content

John Styles

You've heard of patent trolls, this is a troll patent!

YHBT

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Daily Telegraph punishes expats with paywall

John Styles

As this is in the context of the Telegraph

Shouldn't you be referring to their readers on the Costa etc. as being 'economic migrants'?

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