* Posts by John Styles

274 posts • joined 23 Jul 2007

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Tidal music launch: Pop plutocrats pour FLAC on rival Spotify

John Styles

Badger surveyor

Or why not become a badger surveyor http://www.cieem.net/data/files/Resource_Library/Technical_Guidance_Series/CSS/CSS_-_BADGER_April_2013.pdf

or a newt surveyor

http://www.ecologyconsultancy.co.uk/day-another-day-life-great-crested-newt-surveyor/

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Hey, Microsoft, we can call Windows 10 apps anything we like – you're NOT OUR REAL MOM

John Styles

Re: Please, please market it this way MS

And to all you software developers who invested time and money building stuff for Windows 8, errrm sorry about all that, hope you didn't lose too much, please support our new world of confusion and non compatability, thank you.

And I too feel sorry for them - both of them - shall we have a whip round and take them out for a pint to commiserate?

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SGI sales mushroom with Atomic Weapons Establishment deal

John Styles

Good God, are SGI still going in some form? It's like discovering the News Chronicle is still being published.

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Another GDS cockup: Rural Payments Agency cans £154m IT system

John Styles

Although, as pointed out by another commenter, it is not as though the RPA has covered itself in glory in the past.

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John Styles

On the subject of 'two systems doing the same thing'... a company I worked for acquired two companies with systems doing more or less the same thing. Reputedly the decision on which to can was based on 'which has the fewest open bugs in its bug tracking system' (that was the sort of British management at its finest we came to know and love). So they canned one. Then it turned that the other had written their own bug tracking system which was buggy and actually it had had more bugs.

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John Styles

I look forward to the passive aggressive tweets from GDS people about ignoring 'trolls'

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Hello? Police? Yes, I'm a car and my idiot driver's crashed me

John Styles

Interestingly, when I rang 999 from my mobile recently (to report a loose horse with a saddle attached galloping along the road), the system asked me to dial 55 presumably to filter out pocket calls.

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Microsoft announces Windows 10 and Azure for humanity's implacable IoT foes

John Styles

De we call a collection of these a bunch of OneCores?

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BBC gives naked computers to kids (hmm, code for something?)

John Styles

Re: well you know what they say...

In the words of Xander in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, 'I'm a teenage boy, I can be turned on by linoleum'

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BBC: We'll give FREE subpar-Raspberry-Pis to a million Brit schoolkids

John Styles

Ah..

... forgot to say earlier...

the perfect Register thread - Raspberry Pi, the BBC, education, and now bizarre Micro$oft Konspiracy Korner. All we need now is climate change....

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John Styles

Maybe..

... you can use a Raspberry Pi in place of the 'PC' that you plug it into via a USB port i.e. you have your Pi, it has USB, plug this thing and and program it using the Pi.

I do not quite see the point myself, but I am not a child, parent or educator.

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Storm in a K-Cup: My SHAME over the eco-monster I created, says coffee pod inventor

John Styles

Re: Bah ... philistines

The secret about stove pots is that you want a Bialetti Brikka - the one with the extra valve to give a much better crema. Surprisingly most shops that sell stove pots don't know the difference and only sell the ordinary ones where it just spurts out in a rather disappointing fashion.

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John Styles

Re: Aeropress

I am writing a script about a couple that split up acrimoniously due to disagreements over coffee. I am going to call it 'Creamer vs crema'

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RIP Windows RT: Microsoft murders ARM Surface, Nokia tablets

John Styles

To the tune (approximately) of Elstree by Buggles:

Redmond, remember me?

I wrote an app once for Win RT

But now it's history

Redmond, ah look at me

oh-o-oh

I should have stuck with Windows 3

oh-o-oh

life is not what it used to be

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Turbocharged quad-core Raspberry Pi 2 unleashed, global geekgasm likely

John Styles

Re: Maker community?

People self-define (as they say) as 'makers'. People who make things. Presumably promulgated by O'Reilly initially with their (piss-poor) Make magazine. Mainly quadcoptors as far as I can tell. I think 3D printing may be involved as well. I find it slightly strange myself.

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Tap sat app gap, yaps Inmarsat chap: Orbiting bird API opened to devs

John Styles

5 BILLION valuation, surely?

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Kiss your Glass goodbye: Google mothballs techno-specs (for now)

John Styles

It's like a zen koan, if Google announces something about a failed product on Google+, does anyone notice?

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MAINFRAMES are SO NOT DEAD: IBM's launched a new one

John Styles

Re: Rubbish - Old IT Grey suits out!

Nothing old about negative zero, our code still has some special case code to suppress them, left over from when Microsoft changed the behaviour of the C runtime in VC++ 2005. fortunately -0.0 and 0.0 are equal so the code just tests for equality and then uses 0.0. <oldfart/>

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John Styles

Mutual recursion - see recursion, mutual

Is 'recurssion' a louder version of recursion - a cross between recursion and percussion - something used in executables where the cymbal table hasn't been removed? (Was going to make a joke about Marimba and Castanet but I see a once proud technology that got Wired's front page in its day doesn't even rate its own Wikipedia page - the ultimate insult - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castanet_%28disambiguation%29)

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Dr. Dobb's Journal sails into the sunset - yet again

John Styles

We want more Stob

I subscribed for a couple of years at one point. The humour had gone by then. I miss .EXE more tbh.

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Bong Ventures LLC: We've been cyberhacked

John Styles

Badgr

What about Badgr - the app for 'underground animal sex tourism' http://www.independent.co.uk/news/weird-news/denmark-moves-to-ban-bestiality-controversial-right-to-have-sex-with-animals-will-be-outlawed-9790829.html

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Govt spaffs £170k to develop the INTERNET OF SHEEP

John Styles

Was the software...

... written in sheep lust lust?

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Devs: Barack Obama's gunning for your job!

John Styles

button.colour(red).push

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A nation of CODERS? Yes, says UK.gov, and have some cash to do it

John Styles

Thoughts

1. Focusing on the National Academy for Digital Skills thing, IBM are one of the sponsors, why are they bothering? What use do they have for developers in the UK rather than India etc.?

2. I see it's in London. Handy that that's a cheap place to live, rent/buy offices, and cheap for the staff to live.

3. Aaaaargh, Register commenters on the subject of teaching, why did I look?

4. How are they going to get the bursary back if people don't do the job? Will it be added onto their student loan? Will it be like buying yourself out the army? Or will they just take a kidney?

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Microsoft forks .NET and WHOMP! Here comes .NET Core app dev stack

John Styles

Love poem to Microsoft

Roses are horrible

Violets are crap

Who on Earth would write a

'Windows Store' app?

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We must SMASH the Democratic Deadlock with MINDFUL EVIDENCE

John Styles

Rand

Also, I thoroughly recommend the book 'It usually begins with Ayn Rand' by Jerome Tuccille. Although most of it is about the minutiae of libertarian infighting, the bits about Ayn Rand at the beginning are worth the cost of the book.

Or do a search for 'ayn rand rational dancer' on Google Books and the whole chapter seems to come up.

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John Styles

Rand Rand Rand

Surely your child should be named Rand Rand Rand Rand after

Ayn Rand

The Rand corporation

The Remington Rand typewriter (or creator of the Univac computer if you prefer).

The Krugerrand - not as good as bitcoins, I know.

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EE launches 150Mbps '4G+' in the heart of London

John Styles

It's well weapon!

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NetWare sales revive in China thanks to that man Snowden

John Styles

An NLM, Do doo be-do-do

(or 'No Laughing Matter' as a friend used to call them).

The thing that did for Netware was the irksome Novell support priesthood who had every incentive to insist that computer networking was a complex business. Then when WIndows for Workgroups (or Widows for Wombats as we called it for some reason) came along, a small office could string wires between a bunch of PCs and have a peer to peer network.

Our Netware preiesthood were wildly pleased with themselves and wildly unhelpful (*) - now, clearly, for a big organisation Netware was probably better at the time, but the strung together WfW machines acted as a bridgehead for Microsoft.

(*) and I don't say this just because one of them was a short bearded berk (not to be shortist, or beardist or, indeed berkist) who, despite being a colleague, called environmental health to complain when our burglar alarm went off and didn't cut out.

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Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors

John Styles

Reminds me...

... many years ago a friend of mine was living in a single room in a shared house. Someone gave him a rabbit that had been sprung from an animal lab. Unfortunately the rabbit used to keep him awake at night by running round his room, so he gave it to the local wildlife centre.

It turned out that the local wildlife centre was feeding rabbits it was given to the other animals. Or, as my friend put it, 'Wilfred was eaten by the weasels'

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Report: HP to SPLIT OFF PC, printer biz from enterprise wing

John Styles

Hmm

So many names they could use for the 2 bits

Compaq

EDS

DEC

Palm

Autonomy

et al

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What’s the KEYBOARD SHORTCUT for Delete?! Look in a contextual menu, fool!

John Styles

The lost era of pre-WIMP post-glass teletype software

Many years ago, when the world was young, and DOSosaurs roamed the earth, we wrote a piece of software for vehicle scheduling. It had a UI written in a library using GEM. In order to fit 50 rows of 80 characters on an EGA screen (640 by 350) a colleague had sat down with graph paper one weekend and designed a font which looked OK with characters 7 pixels high and 8 across (you can find some around now IIRC but his looked better than the ones I have found decades later). Then each character could have one of 8 foreground and background colours.

The software would schedule deliveries (main areas - breweries, oil tankers, deliveries to corner shops and the like) displaying each route in rows with 2 characters per drop - with the foreground and background colours of each character meaning something (e.g. order type, constraints, early or late delivery etc.)

The user could then use the keyboard to move orders round e.g. move delivery 3 from vehicle 7 to position 9 on vehicle 8 by something like M<enter>3<enter>7<enter>9<enter>. Some of the users could do this amazingly fast, I remember we had to find a TSR to increase the keyboard buffer from one of them - they were doing this at the speed of a fast typist. You couldn't get anywhere near this speed with a mouse, I don't think.

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Take THAT, hated food! It's OVER, tedious chewing! Soylent strikes back with version 1.1

John Styles

Surely?

Surely this sort of thing already exists for medical purposes?

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Microsoft's nightmare DEEPENS: Windows 8 market share falling fast

John Styles

Re: Depends

We at Weasel Consultants limited can go one better than putting you in the magic quadrant, we can put you in the centre of the unholy pentagram, the only place where your soul will not be eaten by Cthulhu. You know it makes sense. As much sense as Gartner, anyway.

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Hey Brit taxpayers. You just spent £4m on Central London ‘innovation playground’

John Styles

Whilst this is irksome

It is the 'Transport Catapult' that truly boggles the mind - in a country where we need to spend about 10 years doing a 'pilot' of tram-trains, something Germany has had for years. Clearly we are different, maybe g or Planck's constant are different here or something?

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Windows 10: One for the suits, right Microsoft? Or so one THOUGHT

John Styles

Windows 10 = Windows X = X Windows

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Samsung abandons Chromebooks, laptops, PCs in Europe

John Styles

Re: Sad news

Was just thinking this article didn't have the hundreds of gloating comments it would have had if this was someone making Windows RT (or whatever it's called) devices.

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It's official: Brit parents want their kids to be just like Steve Bong

John Styles

The parents just hope that by having their children being tech entrepreneurs will mean their children will be able to save them from the brutal yoke of our coming robot overlords. No dice - it will be down the Uranium mines for you just like everyone else.

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Epiphany hits Raspberry Pi founders, users

John Styles

All together now...

Give someone a program and they'll be frustrated for a day, teach them to program and they'll be frustrated for life.

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Best shot: Coffee - how do you brew?

John Styles

Crema vs. creamer

I vote for a Bialetti Brikka - these are the ones with a valve to give a better crema - we have the 2 pot one. We have a larger Bialetti non-brikka which I found a bit disappointing (I didn't realise that there were ones without the extra valve). We use Lavazza which I suspect is ground with them in mind.

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UK.gov: Forget Google and those other chaps... Use THIS open Internet of Stuff specification

John Styles

Late April Fool?

"HyperCat has a strong security model; it's the same one the web uses"

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Waterfront flats plan for IBM's UK HQ as housing market goes bananas

John Styles

Re: I thought you meant the South Bank office

Kudos to Sir Alan if he managed to buy it off a short-sighted IBM and then rent it back. But wouldn't it be worth buying them out of the lease and flogging it off as flats?

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John Styles

I thought you meant the South Bank office

Bet that would fetch a penny or two.

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Hunt's paperless future: NHS watches £60m vanish down plughole

John Styles

Surely the prescription scheme can't be being abandoned, there are already posters about it in pharmacies?

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Danger, Will Robinson! Beware the hidden perils of BYOD

John Styles

Data On A Train

I want this motherfucking data off this motherfucking train.

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Today's bugs have BRANDS? Be still my bleeding heart [logo]

John Styles

Wasn't it John-Paul Sartre who said..

...'hell is other people's C++' ?

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John Styles

D & E

Although it refers to C++ in an earlier state, I do recommend 'The Design and Evolution of C++' by Stroustrup.

Very few books about programming / software development are any good in my experience (in accord with Sturgeon's Law), and D & E is a timeless classic.

It makes it clear (more so than the main C++ book) where Stroustrup was coming from with C++, and why it is as it is.

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Google forges a Silver bullet for Android, aims it at Samsung's heart

John Styles

We had one of them

Alas poor Symbian, we hardly knew ye.

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John Styles

Four legs good, two legs bad, four legs good, two legs bad. Baaaaaaa.

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Microsoft forms 'Special Projects' black ops team

John Styles

Microsoft Teledildonics Slogan

Where do you want THIS to go today?

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