Feeds

* Posts by Ascylto

777 posts • joined 20 Jul 2007

Page:

Britain’s snooping powers are 'too weak', says NCA chief

Ascylto

They always want more ...

0
0

New Star Wars movie plot details leak, violate common sense and laws of physics

Ascylto

The NEW Star Wars

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Luke, I am your step-father/uncle/carer

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Where's the shower room?

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

0
0

Big Blue Apple: IBM to sell iPads, iPhones to enterprises

Ascylto

So, no sales to Jewish firms then!

0
3

Google Glass faces UK cinema ban: Heaven forbid someone films you crying in a rom-com

Ascylto

Cinema going - not!

Like the person above, I have stopped going to the cinema, sadly. I was fed up with those for whom it was a chance to text, talk or sms and for those who hadn't eaten for an hour and were therefore in need of over-priced hotdogs, popcorn and cola. I now have a collection of about 900 DVDs all priced at less than the cost of going to the Cinema. I reckon the Cinema industry has missed out on at least £6000 (10,250 US$) of my money.

3
0

Dixon, Carphone hand their numbers to world +dog before the wedding

Ascylto

New Name

Dickphone Whorehouse.

0
0

Official: MoJ IT workers on STRIKE over outsourcing job fears

Ascylto

Outsaucing

The trouble is that the Government has run out of Grandmothers. They've no one else to sell. (It is interesting that they go out of their way to kill off the Civil Service whilst leaving their chums, the bankers who caused all this fuss, alone and NOT outsourced.

1
0

Zuckerchan toss another $120 MEEELLION to schools in charity push

Ascylto

"What we are trying to do is catalyze change by exploring and promoting the development of new interventions and new models,"

If she only knew what it means ... nobody else does.

What a load of ...

Bollocks!

0
0

French IT giant Atos is officially full of Bull.... and €620m lighter

Ascylto

Atos.....

In the UK Atos is responsible for the Work Capability Assessment programme which is crap.

Does this mean their employees are a bunch of Atossers?

Full agreement with Conrad Longmore.

1
1

Watch: Kids slam Apple as 'BORING, the whole thing is BORING'

Ascylto

Reg

Slow news day?

C'mon Reg, come into the 21st Century!

Your anti-Apple skirts are showing. No wonder you're not invited to their shows.

1
0

Samsung WRISTPHONE – for those who wanna whisper to strap-ons

Ascylto

As usual, Slamdung will wait until it's done properly by Apple then copy it but they will be able to say "We did it first" only they'll say it in Korean. THEN they'll sue Apple. But Apple will have the last laugh because it will have rounded corners!

0
2

Fujitsu fills top seat at UK and Ireland biz

Ascylto

Contracts?

UK Government contracts? Didn’t they already make a mess of government contracts? Well then, better give then some more until they get them right!

0
0

Dixons and Carphone Warehouse confirm £3.7bn MEGA-BORG

Ascylto

Fatty Catty

As CEO of Dicko's he earned a mere £1.3 million. How does he pay his bills? Perhaps he's got a warranty.

I remember years ago a TV prog about the head-honcho at John Lewis. I recall he said something like he led a very nice lifestyle on £500,000.

Why do people buy from Dicko's or Pissy World et al when the CEOs don't know when enough's enough? (PS. I know the answer.}

0
0
Ascylto

Closures

The CEO (or whatever fat cat name he has) did NOT say there will be no closures of stores. This was widely reported even by the BBC, He ACTUALLY said that there would be no closure of BIG stores. This leaves a lot of wiggle-room. What's a BIG store anyway? He, BTW, was the new head honcho of Dickwarehouse.

0
0

Boeing, Cupertino to 'explore weaponisation of Apple technologies'

Ascylto

Cut

But would Apple want 30% of the drones?

0
0

Ford to dump Microsoft's 'aggravating' in-car tech for ... BlackBerry?

Ascylto

Black what?

What happens when Crackberry dies (as it indeed will)?

0
1

New Microsoft CEO Nadella could earn FOURTEEN TIMES what Ballmer banked in 2013

Ascylto

"Nadella's total compensation for his first year as CEO could be as much as $18m..."

What's all this 'compensation' shite. He gets a salary, a wage ... not 'compensation'.

3
1

Want a touch-friendly solar-powered laptop? Apple just patented it

Ascylto

News

Next week's News.

Samsung introduce solar-powered laptop made of glass-like plastic stuff found on a skip.

0
0

Apple stores? Samsung says two can play at that game

Ascylto

Apple Store

Samsung ... copying Apple ... never!!!

1
0

'I'm BIG, I'm BALD and I'm LOUD!' Blubbering Ballmer admits HE was Microsoft's problem

Ascylto

A Son?

He has a son?

There are more Ballmers?

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Suicide is an option, Microsoft.

Sorry, you're already there.

1
2

Ohh! The PRECIOUS! Give it to uss. We WANTS it: Shiny iThings coming in 2014

Ascylto

We (Apple lovers) pay a lot for our devices ( though not as much as some) and we're not supposed to fiddle with them. However, we have devices made of the best (mostly) and we have customer service second to none. Just because the likes of Samsung copy whatever they can and do it cheaper doesn't mean they're better (have you ever seen the innards of a Samsung fridge/freezer? I have and it's not pretty!). If people choose the cheaper alternatives then good for them. We choose very, very, very unique items (poor fellow just can't say unique). If you're happy with Android ... good.

12
12

Microsoft: We're nearly OUT OF STOCK of Surface 2 and Pro 2

Ascylto

Sell all the old ones to help Mr Ballmer supplement his wages.

0
0

Rotten Apple iOS 7 fury: Glitchy audio or is today's music really that bad?

Ascylto

Updated an iPhone 5 and an iPad Mini with no problems. Yesterday, 19th Sept at about 10am. Took about 20 mins each. AND, I normally buy each iteration of any Apple product but i'm not going for the iPhone 5S because £709 is just TOO MUCH for features I don't need (want, yes, but not need}.

0
0

We made the iPhones, now we want OUR 'UNPAID' WAGES – student Pegatron toilers

Ascylto

'Twas ever thus ...

Moanies should look up who was paying (or not paying) what when YOUR country was growing. In both US and UK wages were crap when industries/countries started out. The same goes for China. It's only workers' unions that get the extra pay and then they ruin businesses which move to cheaper labour markets. Wake up! China's only doing what the capitalist pigs want and have wanted throughout the ages.

0
0

Apple snaffles travel app in quest for way out of Maps debacle

Ascylto
Big Brother

It's probably a UK thing but Apple's Maps has been OK here and a friend got out of serious trouble using Apple Maps. I have found the turn-on-turn an absolute boon. I'd use Google maps but I don't know how but I recently used Apple Maps and it got me back to the hospital I had come from... my own fault as I'd not set it correctly (holding it wrong, perhaps).

2
0

Murdoch machinations mean Microsoft must rename SkyDrive

Ascylto

How about:

SKYHIGH

gives the pricing and cloud connotations.

0
0

Huawei unwraps Ascend P6: World's slimmest smartphone

Ascylto
Facepalm

Ann Droid

It runs Android ... who know who spies for whom?

1
0

O2 averts strike action over mass Capita outsourcing deal

Ascylto
Big Brother

Mudroach

Not only are O2 getting into bed with Crapita, they're also selling off home and broadband to Sky ... owner one Rupert Mudroach of phonehacking fame.

Good bye O2 !

1
0

Network Rail axes hundreds of tech suppliers

Ascylto
Big Brother

No

These aren't the executives who got HUUUUUGGGGEEE bonuses for not meeting targets recently?

No. I must be mistaken.

0
0

Apple confirms 128GB iPad. A hundred bucks for an extra 64GB

Ascylto
Big Brother

23456

Have you seen how many GB you get? Surface my ar*e.

0
0

Another Apple retail chief crashes out the door

Ascylto
Big Brother

Let's face it ... anybody looks good after Browett.

0
0

Microsoft's Steve Ballmer named 'most improved tech CEO'

Ascylto

He's the 44th richest person in the world. He must be doing something right!

0
1

Analyst slams Apple innovation FAIL

Ascylto
Big Brother

12345

Global Equities Research MD Trip Chowdhry.

Mental Note: Stay well away from Global Equities Research.

0
0

Apple axed Brit retail boss for doing his job well - TOO well, perhaps

Ascylto

I wonder if he misunderstood Apple stores.

"They (in my experience) offer minimal customer service apart from selling goods, and, particularly in the case of Dixons, are only interested in what else they can sell you (extended warranties etc).

As such, they have a minimal staff, and often those staff who are there are only really interested in selling more stuff.

When people go into these stores, they know this. They expect it."

No they don't. They go into Dixons/PCworld because they want a fix for their (usually Windows) computer which they do't understand and are so non tech-savvy that they 1) believe the ads and, 2) believe Dixons/PCWorld will solve their problems. They also have enough 'pride' that they know what's needed that they'll pay dearly for the cable which they could have bought elsewhere at half the price. I feel sorry for the Dixons/PCWorld staff who are demoralised and working for a company which has no interest in them at all, let alone the customers.

Why is Microsoft copying Apple's retail ideas? BECAUSE THE RETAIL SYSTEM WORKS! And THAT's what Browett didn't understand and will never understand. Still. he made a lot of money from Apple's error of judgement (Can't call it a 'mistake' can we?).

0
0
Ascylto
Big Brother

123456

"Browett was used to selling value-for-money products"

No he wasn't. Almost all of the products in his stores were NOT value-for-money.

5
0
Ascylto
Big Brother

Dixons!!!

Browett ... was an agency used by Apple to Headhunt him? If so, they too should be given the heave-ho.

At my local Apple stores in Manchester (Trafford and city Arndale) you can't get a Genius appointment for the next three days. This is either Browettisation or loads of Apple stuff either not understood or returned. Hmmm... makes you think.

As for the Bullring Apple Store they now give you oxygen to help you through the 'experience'.

2
0

MYSTERIOUS GREEN GLOW seen on iPhone 5s

Ascylto
Big Brother

23456

Oh my God! I've just found out that my iPhone 5 doesn't make the world stop when I want to get off!

And, what's more, my Apple Maps work well and accurately!

Apple are doomed (again).

0
0

Schmidt: Google deathmatch with Apple is 'defining' for the tech biz

Ascylto
Big Brother

23456

When Google went public a year ago, it famously said in the papers accompanying its offering that its motto would be “Don’t do evil.”

So, Eric, What happened?

0
0

Siemens expected to announce job cuts, closures

Ascylto
Big Brother

23456

All Siemens has to do is get (another) UK government project to cock-up. Magically, £4bn and no job cuts achieved!

0
0

Apple: Blue-shirts can fix iOS Maps in their spare time

Ascylto
Big Brother

23456

If Browett has his way there'll be ONE blueshirt left in the country but he will know about Maps (so long as you've paid the £39.99 to be covered).

0
0

Surrey council plans to SAVE money by switching to BT

Ascylto
Big Brother

23456

Surrey Council will save money by going with BT.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

0
0

HP boss Whitman: 'We have to offer a smartphone'

Ascylto
Big Brother

23456

HP: Let's copy someone.

Me: Who?

HP: Erm, Apple I suppose. That's what everyone else does.

0
0

Capita ITS ditches UK job cuts, offshoring dream

Ascylto
Big Brother

23456

If everyone at Crapita went on strike ... would we notice?

1
0

Foxconn to investigate iPhone 5 factory woes

Ascylto
Big Brother

23456

So we get past the headline which gives the impression that it's the iPhone only and we read later... "The iPhone-maker, which also produces kit for Nokia, HP, Dell and other big tech names..."

No wonder you don't get invited to Apple functions. You must list yourselves with the other Apple-haters who post here.

The fact is that ALL the tech companies use crap-paid labour in China for cheapness because they want to get as much money as they can for shareholders, Apple included. But we (US and UK) all did the same not so long ago... it's how we built up our empires. The Chinese are only doing what we did and probably learned from us!

1
0

Ballmer predicts 400 MILLION Win 8 Surface and Lumia fumblers

Ascylto
Big Brother

23456

All I needed to read was "Ballmer predicts ..."

Good for a laugh.

1
0

Dixons: We had a good summer, though southern Europe was a drag

Ascylto
Big Brother

23456

"Gross margins were pretty much flat.

The firm has been through a series of restructures under previous boss John Browett including redundancies, store closures and reformatting and a revamp of customer services."

And Apple gave him a job?

1
0

Samsung accused of using child labor in its own factories

Ascylto
Big Brother

23456

The Chinese are only doing what WE did (US and UK) not so long ago. They, too, are using child labor/labour just as we did to increase their market penetration. They'll get the same laws we have eventually.

1
0

Lexmark dumps inkjet arm, sacks 1,700

Ascylto
Big Brother

23456

We employ just 50 people now.

So, what can I buy?

Err... well, we don't actually sell anything. But the Managers and bean-counters still get their bonuses!

0
0

Driving a car? There's an app for that

Ascylto
Big Brother

23456

Looks like it''s made of bits of Airfix, Ikea and Scalextric.

Yup, it's Android alright!

0
0

Nokia, Samsung and pals team up to map malls, stations

Ascylto
Big Brother

23456

"Nokia and Samsung have teamed up..."

Says it all, really.

0
0

Samsung strides onto the catwalk

Ascylto
Big Brother

23456

Yeah, but Samesung fridge freezers are crap! Mine's gone (again) and these things just shouldn't go wrong.

0
0

Page: