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* Posts by jubtastic1

944 posts • joined 11 May 2006

Global chocolate crisis looms

jubtastic1
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Trollface

Re: 2 birds one and a half cups

That particular idiom is forever ruined for me, damn you internets.

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Hold on, Booker prize judges - Stob's penned a steampunk hit

jubtastic1
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Go

Loved that

More of this sort of thing please.

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Fanboys frolic on recyled rumours of Q3 iPad Mini debut

jubtastic1
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Re: I don't understand

Because it makes use of existing cheaper tech than the stuff used in the 4S and iPad3, an iPad mini would be based on an ipad2 but with the same screen process (cut larger) used in the 3GS, materials costs are similarly reduced and the battery can be smaller (cheaper) than the iPad2.

I suspect the margins will be lower, although they'll still make money on them, but at a $250 price point they'll compete directly with Amazon who at this point is the only other player in the Tablet market that has the ability to threaten iOS.

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BYOD sync 'n share

jubtastic1
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Re: Good enough

You've got that slightly wrong, Dropbox refused to sell to Apple, Steve told them that to try and get them to sell.

Dropbox does its thing very well but it's only doing the most basic of syncing, to the point that I've seen files fork from nothing more than two users reading it at the same time, it's a long way from OS integration.

True syncing, as end users expect it to work, which is to say magically, is really really bloody hard.

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Yet another OSX/Java Trojan spotted in the wild

jubtastic1
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Re: Java or Office?

Appears to be a spear phishing operation, MS word exploit used to install a java exploit, the version they just found has been nullified due to DNS resolution for the C&C being pulled but an earlier variant had the IP hard coded: 199.192.150.X so it might be an idea to check your routers for connections to that block, better safe than sorry.

Only one of my clients uses java company wide, the rest are going to have if disabled and or removed tomorrow, life is too short for us to waste time making sure they are protected against exploits in software they never use.

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What is French designer Philippe Starck up to over at Apple?

jubtastic1
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Update

Turns out its sorta bullshit, was designing a boat for Jobs.

http://allthingsd.com/20120413/apple-we-dont-know-what-philippe-starck-is-talking-about/

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jubtastic1
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I don't get it

There's a flamboyance to Starck's minimalism that seems at odds with Ive's work, which is arguably setting design trends for the entire industry. Starck designs are also usually expensive, which Apple certainly used to have a reputation for but which doesn't seem to be the case so much these days.

Really can't see a Starck iTV or projector hitting the shelves, those projects seem a better fit for Ive, maybe something more personal, a watch or glasses, either of those could be described as 'sort of' revolutionary, given they've already been done.

On the other hand I'm sure I read somewhere that before he shifted off this mortal coil Jobs fixed Ive in an unassailable position, which suggests that Ive may not be all that popular behind the scenes, so maybe it's politically motivated, or disinformation or simply bullshit.

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Apple finally deploys Mac Flashback Trojan terminator

jubtastic1
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Re: eulampios

No, I'm not making it up, I've actually read the reports on this infection, as such I know that it's a Java rather than a JavaScript exploit and that it checks that a number of apps aren't present before installing, these include: Xcode, Little Snitch, and Microsoft Office 2008 or later.

From this I infer that they're avoiding developers (Xcode), clued up users (little snitch) and managed workplace machines (recent MS Office), all places where they are likely to get noticed, clear now?

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jubtastic1
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Devil

Re: Strangely...

I haven't found any either, but that appears to be because the malware is really picky about what systems it will infect, excluding dev, managed and "user has a clue" type systems by checking for the presence of some fairly common applications.

Your typical infected system is likely to be a home user with limited tech support and either a free open source office or a really old version of MS office because who wants to spend a lot of dough for the odd letter, seems to have kept them under the radar enough to capture a peak of 500m+ systems so HUGE SUCCESS. It's probably hard to overstate their satisfaction.

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Texas judge lets Apple duel patent sabre-rattler Lodsys

jubtastic1
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Flame

Re: "Foxconn-rebrander "

Either that bridge was not sufficiently burned for El Reg's liking, or in shock at the spate of recent unexpected replies from Apple PR, they've regressed to a schoolboy response of calling names and pulling hair.

I'm sure there's been discussion about this insult at Vulture Central but the Ayes have it as they seem to be running with it.

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Teens break up with Facebook

jubtastic1
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Holmes

Live and don't learn

Geocities, Friendster, MySpace, facebook, and on and on, each bigger and cooler than their predecessors, each of them struggling to capitalise on their millions of teenage users before they scoot off to the next big thing. Rats are deserting the ship Captain, better get the IPO out pronto.

N.B. Not including twitter because it's more akin to AIM and MSN than a weblog, also continually amazed by Google's ability to screw up social when by all rights they should have won by default years ago.

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German scientists link two labs with ‘universal quantum network’

jubtastic1
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Happy

Skipping to the end

When the bugs are ironed out and this tech is small enough to be buried in a chip, or whatever passes for a chip, the network topography would be interesting, paired units suggests one end in a device and the other plugged into a switch in a datacentre, with a trade off between lumping as many as you can in the same place to increase interconnect speeds against the potential for massive disruption should that node go down.

Seizing servers is going to become nigh on impossible, at best you could play whack a mole but when putting them back online is as simple as just switching to a different network pair, a lot of governments and industries are going to be somewhat unhappy.

If we can send data through entanglement can we send power? Smartphones that never need charging and are always connected, real time communication with colonists on mars, or robotic probes orbiting distant planets?

This is a pretty awesome time to be alive.

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Android spanking iOS in world's BIGGEST mobile market

jubtastic1
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Chinese forks

Dont these cheap Chinese handsets tend to use Baidu rather than Google for searching? no access to Google's app/content store, and so on. These are Android phones like the Fire is an Android tablet, great for the manufacturers but sod all use for Google.

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The iPad 3 would make me so horny...

jubtastic1
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WTF?

Re: thad

Downvoted for such a ridiculous statement.

Even ignoring that iPads have been very competitively priced from the off, Apple don't set their competitors prices.

As for the article, the author lost me when he suggested that the "it's just a great big jpeg" style of digital magazines were anything other than an abomination.

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Google shows off Project Glass augmented reality specs

jubtastic1
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Short version; I don't like it.

It looks doable, well, there would be a wire running from the glasses to a smartphone, and a wire running from the smartphone to a honking great battery pack, but it's just as doable now as its been for the last decade.

I'm just not sold on the idea though, I think if my input is going to be spoken I'd rather have audio cues, "message from Tom", "turn right at the next junction" etc than have to wear a clunky headset, I suppose I'm more drawn to the idea of a personal PA that doesnt speak until spoken to than the visual shotgun approach demoed here, I'm thinking that even though road signs are enormous great things it still takes a concentrated mental effort to decipher them when I'm speeding down the motorway whereas the voice from a satnav is effortless.

I can imagine groups of people staring into space, grunting their answers to unheard questions, the tippy tap of fingers on buttons and screens replaced with short bursts of random speech, is this progress? Do we do what we must because we can?

But mostly I'm thinking supplying an advertising company with a real time feed of where we are, who we're talking to and what we're looking at seems like a really bad deal even if they paid us to wear them.

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RIM should focus on BBM, find a human CEO

jubtastic1
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Childcatcher

Quick poll of this demographic

Non Representative Sample of four teenagers addicted to BBM.

Me: "If you had a job and money for a contract phone, which phone would you get"

NRS: "iPhone"

Me: "iPhone? Not a better Blackberry? Not Android?

NRS: "nope"

Me: "Do you think your friends feel the same?"

NRS: "yeah"

The problem here is that while they're reliant on someone else picking up the tab they'd like the best Blackberry they can get, because the BBM service trumps everything else on the PAYG market, but they're very aware of the phones shortcomings, especially with regard to apps "I can't get anything on this, a bold would be better" etc.

I mentioned that RIM has new phones scheduled for November based on a modern OS, then explained what an OS is and that RIM have picked a good one, which was met with normal teenage indifference.

If RIM is going to keep these kids they had better have something pretty compelling in the pipeline

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iPad app that lets mute kids speak menaced by patent lawsuit

jubtastic1
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Knee jerk reaction

What bastards.

On the other hand, the reason the existing tablet & software is so expensive is because it's really expensive to make a custom tablet when you're only going to sell thousands of them rather than the multimillions Apple is selling, this company is basically paying prototype pricing, and they're going to have to charge enough to stay afloat while they slowly sell.

But on the other other hand, that was then, when there wasn't a cheap tablet they could sling an app on, they've sat on their arses for 3 years now when they could have been implementing a new software business that would have seen them through these interesting times.

This horse has well and truly bolted, their current business plan is terminal, the only thing they have right now they can build on is their brand and this legal action just totally fucked that.

Stupid bastards.

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Tibetan activists' Macs targeted using trojan-laden MS Office files

jubtastic1
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Meh

You would expect

That the Tibetan govt in exile would be using Libre/Open Office to reduce their exposure to these sort of shenanigans, although I suppose they'd be better off with a purposely secure *nix as well, rather than an aestheticly pleasing one.

I'd have never guessed that Microsoft Office lay on the path to enlightenment.

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RIM retracts denial on consumer devices: Pulls out, spins in circle

jubtastic1
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BBM Kids

Ignoring the joke, there's a whole generation of kids here in the UK* that are seriously addicted to BBM, they will eventually leave school, get jobs and spend money, all RIM has to do is not get left too far behind and have something they'll want to buy.

Which is probably a tall order, but at least it's possible, unlike retaking the enterprise market, which is a lost cause at this point.

* Perhaps this is just a UK phenomenon, a chance effect of PAYG txting plans here? Is BBM popular with the kids elsewhere?

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Apple drops 'thermonuclear' patent bombshell

jubtastic1
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Happy

That put a smile on my face

Well done.

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Everything you thought you knew about cybercrims is WRONG

jubtastic1
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Pint

Re: I know whose bias I'd rather believe.

I'm not going to lie to you, I didn't make it through your epic reply, but I just wanted to clear up that when I said biased, I was inferring selection bias, not a personal one.

Regardless, it stands to reason that if these cybercrims are buying exploit kits, that someone else must be creating said kits, we can further assert that these kits must be tested before they are sold, on the grounds that if they don't work, the 'customers' aren't going to be able to break the law with them and become statistics for this report.

I'd bet cash money that those real hackers tend to be younger and more tech savvy than the duffers this report documents.

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jubtastic1
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This is a bit biased isn't it?

In that these stats are formed from known criminals, the ones that get caught, so it's hardly surprising they suggest tech crims are IT bozos that purchased an exploit kit.

I'd assume that the creators of those kits tend to be younger, smarter and very capable hackers, I'd also suggest that these before exploits become widely known and make it into these kits they're used in anger by a criminal tier the cops rarely see, basically that the cops are nicking users of a secondhand exploit market and drawing the incorrect conclusion that cybercrime is rife with old duffers, I expect that's good news for crime clean up stats but it's not even making a dent in the real problem.

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IPv6 networking: Bad news for small biz

jubtastic1
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Stop

This topic always depresses me

I admin a number of small networks, IPv4 addressing allows workstations to have a meaningfull, memorable and deduceable address, based off the workstation ID, VPN to a site and remoting onto a workstation is easy.

If time is wasted, it's finding machines on DHCP, or sorting problems associated with broken leases or DNS, my clients don't have the budget for kit that works flawlessly, hence the bulletproof static addressing, with DHCP left for mobile equipment.

It's not just that IPv6 isn't going to solve any problems for my clients, it's going to create them, it's going to increase their IT costs, it's going to make finding machines on DHCP harder, lengthening support calls and it's going to smother their networks with additional complexity that none of them are ever going to understand, or even want to understand. This last point may seem counterintuitive given that their lack of knowledge is what keeps my rent paid, but the value of having someone on site that has basic IT skills cannot be overstated.

IPv6 addresses seem to have been designed to infuriate, we're clearly not supposed to remember them or try and make them relevant to the equipment they're assigned to, instead we're apparently supposed to trust a service to track where everything is, I suppose that makes perfect sense when there's thousands, millions of things to track and the equipment doing the tracking is appropriately priced, but when you've got less than 30 workstations to a site it's not just overkill, it's insane.

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100 EARTH-LIKE PLANETS orbit stars WITHIN 30 LIGHT-YEARS!

jubtastic1
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Alien

Or possibly

Its some kind of competition, where each God seeds his randomly selected rock with a life form of his (or her), design and a winner takes all game develops, it's probably broadcast on the heavenly equivalent of BBC2.

"Your puny humans don't stand a chance against my mighty Xargons"

Actually, giving this more thought, I suspect that this activity is limited to a somewhat nerdy clique of Gods.

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Republicans shoot down proposed ban on Facebook login boss-snoop

jubtastic1
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IT Angle

Re: What is "the GOP" ?

Perhaps Beneficent Google can help you.

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'Thermal cloak' designed, could solve major chip, spacecraft issues

jubtastic1
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Thumb Down

Re: Re: Sort of like

Oh no it doesn't</pantomime>

Read the linked paper, the temperature inside the shielded region rises to T/2 in <2 seconds, further this isn't really a 2D design as the entire object, including the shielded region is clearly dissipating heat elsewhere, if this was a closed system it would simply delay heat transmission to the shielded parts.

This is exactly like the sort of thermal insulation you would find in a thermos flask, where most of the energy from a heat source on one side of the flask will be channelled around the flask rather than through it, ditto for the claims of a 'heat concentrator' effect which really should have rung your entropy bell.

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Solar power towers overpower PV panels by 20X

jubtastic1
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Holmes

"per unit of mounting area"

This concept seems erily similar to my patent pending 'Nuclear Power Station Multiplier' design, where I show progressive power output increases per acre simply by arranging Power Stations in what I've come to call a 'stack'.

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Plastic that SELF-REPAIRS using light unleashed by prof

jubtastic1
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Terminator

ROTM

A polymer coating that turns red with damage and self heals, and it just happens to be flesh coloured, this is clearly first gen terminator skin.

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Size DOES matter: Nokia snubs Apple's royalty-free nano-SIM

jubtastic1
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Stop

Thoughts

Where are the pictures so that your loyal commenters may decide this issue to no ones satisfaction? Preferably with a breadcrumb 'shopped in for scale.

"Aren't they small enough already?" not if Sir wants his next phone to be more svelte, the fiddlier a sim card is the more options are available for arrangement of your mobe's guts, and the better packed those guts are the more space for lithium.

"why are we still arsing about with SIM cards anyway?" tradition, backwards compatibility, because the networks are geared up for SIM cards and can't imagine shelling out a load of cash to support something else simply because it makes things easier for their customers and suppliers.

Somewhere down the road SIM cards will simply evaporate into software, and switching them will be as simple as a virtual toggle on a smartphone, you'll probably be swearing around with tweezers trying to insert a replacement PlanckSIM before that happens though.

As an aside, my first SIM card was exactly the same size as a credit card, the whole thing slid into the back of the phone as it would into a wallet, which it turns out was quite appropriate.

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London fire brigade outsources 999 control centre to Capita

jubtastic1
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Happy

0118 999 881 999 119 7253

Catchy number though.

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'Intelligent systems' poised to outsell PCs, smartphones

jubtastic1
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IT Angle

IDC

'Telling the people that pay our bills what they want to hear'

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More 'retina' display piccies spied within Mac OS X

jubtastic1
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Stop

Sorry, but no.

But they're not going to quadruple the graphics on the mac range, "Retina" means the pixels are smaller than one arc minute at normal viewing distance, so a lot of mac kit is already very close to being "retina" displays, just a small bump of 10% will take some of them over the threshold.

The iPad and iPhone quadrupled for scaling reasons, because the apps and OS are designed for a fixed pixel resolution, mac apps on the other hand have been coded for a wide variety of resolutions and aspect ratios so the scaling issue doesn't apply.

Retina macs are coming, but they're not going to have ridiculous resolutions, these graphics are simply to make everything more legible.

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BOFH: Dawn raid on Fort BOFH

jubtastic1
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Happy

Ah, the old box of IT shite

Could there be any gold in that mass of tangled cables and dusty obsoletia? No, even the patch cables are shorted. What's that you say? Would I like to browse your vintage computer collection? Perhaps take some of it away? No Ta.

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Medieval warming WAS global – new science contradicts IPCC

jubtastic1
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El Reg Scepticism

I believe this is an age thing, where the older you get the more you recognise the pattern of "we're all going to die unless we spend billions on x" as a repeating meme that in retrospect, just seems to fuck over the common man whilst making obscenely rich folk considerably richer.

Of course this doesnt preclude that Human activity really is causing global warming, but extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof and should be met with a healthy amount of sceptisism, If the current climate models are based on the assumption that prior warming was local to Europe yet the facts show this wasn't the case, that strikes me as newsworthy whatever your bias.

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Musk muses on middle-class Mars colony

jubtastic1
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Trollface

Fascinating chap

Apparently Elon is a billionaire living in California in a château that was imported from France. He owns Musk Industries, which constructs space shuttles. In addition, Musk supposedly owns the Eiffel Tower, but apparently couldn't export it from France because they wouldn't issue him an export permit. Musk is an accomplished pianist, as evidenced by his recital of Chopin's "Raindrop" Prelude in D flat major (op. 28) on his grand piano (which he plays in the key of D).

This quote seems a bit worrying though:

"First there was the dream, now there is reality. Here in the untainted cradle of the heavens will be created a new super race, a race of perfect physical specimens. You have been selected as its progenitors, like gods your offspring will return to Earth and shape it in their image. You have all served in public capacities in my terrestrial empire. Your seed like yourselves will pay deference to the ultimate dynasty which I alone have created. From their first day on Earth they will be able to look up and know that there is law and order in the heavens."

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Man FLIES with Android-powered homemade bird wings

jubtastic1
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Headmaster

How could you not notice those pixels?

To be fair, I have seen a lot of 'shops in my time but there are schoolboy errors in this viral, they stand out like quad tracks in the grass.

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Hong Kong scientists claim 'self-charging' graphene battery

jubtastic1
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Holmes

IANAC but...

Isn't the fact that it stops working after 25 days a bit of a giveaway that it's a chemical reaction?

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Report: Feeble spam filters catch less junk mail

jubtastic1
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Maildistiller eats ours

Cant remember the last bit of spam that made it through, and users get quarantine reports for looks like spam but isn't sort of stuff, mailers from the Reg for example.

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Confirmed: iPad 3 runs hotter than iPad 2

jubtastic1
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Trollface

Just another example of Apple's amazing attention to detail

The new iPad runs just a tad over body temperature to keep your fingers toasty warm.

Sent from my frosty old iPad.

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Pirate Bay plans sky-high flying proxy servers

jubtastic1
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Stop

All sounds a bit Heath Robinson

What's the problem with simply sticking the magnet links on a tor site or releasing a bt client that automatically distributes them mesh style? Oh, right, the business plan.

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So, what IS the worst film ever made?

jubtastic1
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Stop

The Happening

Mother nature fights back, releasing fragrences designed to drive those pesky humans to overly elaborate suicides, our only hope is a cardboard cut out of Marky Mark, a science teacher that doesn't believe in science, will you survive a sledgehammer to your suspension of disbelief? No.

Just Switch Off Your Television Set And Go Out And Do Something Less Boring Instead.

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Everything Everywhere's 4G party bus could run Three off a cliff

jubtastic1
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Stop

Wouldn't it all be easier

If all this investment was thrown into one big network, and operators just sold packages on it, like they do with electricity, gas, rail and to a large extent, broadband? Seems ridiculous that we're going to pay for four sets of redundant cell towers, backhaul etc blanketing the country.

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EC researchers demo multi-gigabit fibre-to-the-home

jubtastic1
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Go

HD Videoconferencing?

Pft, symetrical gigabit connections to the home represent the beginning of the end for company offices, with knock on effects for transport networks, real estate and IT as teleworking becomes the norm for a lot of employees, cities will empty and 'rush hour' will become just another olden days thing you will try to explain to your disinterested kids.

Roll on the future.

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Hands on with the Apple iPad 3

jubtastic1
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Trollface

Re: Ports?

Dear Sir,

Allow me to assist you with your easily googled queries.

The back of the new iPad is encased in aluminium, sculpted into two cheeks for a comfortable and slightly arousing grip, unbroken by ports it sports a recessed apple logo where the goatse would lie.

There are no USB sockets on the new iPad, it is therefore unpossible to connect any sort of peripheral, charging is accomplished by shaking the device in a rhythmic fashion to activate the self winding mechanisms within.

Headphones may be attached to the new iPad via the industry standard quarter inch socket.

Finally, please be assured that in these enlightened times using an iPad is no more an indicator of your sexuality than sporting a moustache or joining the priesthood.

Yours Sincerely,

Jubtastic One

Sent from my iPad.

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'The new iPad' revealed: Full specs, rumor scorecard

jubtastic1
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Trollface

So, it has come to this.

Also iPad2, still on sale, it's the 16GB version you mentioned for $399, This is of course in accordance with prophesy.

No surprises the commentards don't like it, but they're going to sell bazillions of them all the same, at least ten to a fanboy, it's all smoke and marketing.

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Apple's App Store parades surprise new Catalog model

jubtastic1
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Holmes

My dear Watson

They would hardly stick random apps in this section without talking to the devs if it's going to be a new branch of in app sales, ergo it's simply organisational.

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Carmageddon

jubtastic1
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Happy

Awesome game

Company I was working for back then printed the manuals and our prepress room often hosted LAN partys, great memories of cruising the city murdering peds with the music switched to the Bullet soundtrack.

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Google’s privacy policy: Incoherent and confusing

jubtastic1
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Childcatcher

News International vs Google

Not really comparable, NI isnt too big to fall, they're on a downward spiral to oblivion, as the Internet, and let's not be coy, Google makes paper, presses and reporters a little less valuable every day, The news of the world shutting down barely registers economically.

Google OTOH, really is too big to fall, their fingers are in so many pies: search, apps, DNS, maps, voice, advertising etc that should they go offline there would be worldwide disruption, serious money would be lost and that's essentially why none of this is going to get much further than wrist slapping.

It doesn't matter how broken or annoying a thing is, only a fool throws it away before they have a replacement.

Some may think I'm exagerating, but just considering the implications of google and its newly combined services breaking down for a day, and the sort of people that would be ringing my phone gives me a headache.

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Warp drives are PLANET KILLERS, Sydney Uni students find

jubtastic1
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Pint

Obvious solution

Don't aim for the place you're going, just nearby, then use boring old Impulse engines for the last leg. Even better, build a great big array to collect all the waste energy from incoming ships, like an orbital power station, and no, 'that's unpossible" isn't a reasonable response to that given we're talking about warp drive.

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Metro breakdown! Windows 8 UI is little gain for lots of pain

jubtastic1
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Hate to do this

But it's just a preview, still riddled with fairly obvious bugs and halfassedness, I expect a lot of these grievances will get ironed out before release.

Or maybe not, never can tell with MS, but I can't fault them for trying something new and visually interesting, as a Mac fanboy since '91 this is the first time I've seen anything from MS that I'm actually looking forward to playing with, rather than dreading having to use.

Here's hoping they get it right.

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