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* Posts by jubtastic1

944 posts • joined 11 May 2006

Boffins baffled over pulsar with 'split personality'

jubtastic1
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Childcatcher

"Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology"

-Paul Daniels

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'Op! Op! Op!' Gangnam Style earns Google $8m

jubtastic1
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Stop

I didn't learn to play the guitar.

Is there's a single company aside from google that can point to a proportion of their profits and say "that bit came from that Psy video, only cost us (insert smaller amount) in advertising"?

Money for nothing and the clicks for free.

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Dotcom's Mega smacks back: Our crypto's not crap

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Meh

Re: dedupe

Well I got burned for suggesting they simply chunked the encrypted files and looked for matches on the last post, but seems to me that the other suggestion that they hash the files before they're encrypted isn't going to work either, as mega are saying they're not keeping any keys and user b's key isn't going to decrypt user a's file even if they were the same before uploading.

Here's my optimistic thinking: The majority of the files that get uploaded to a service like this are already tightly compressed, and that the encrypted versions of these files are going to be bigger and a sliver more compressible, and that given the scale they expect to be working with, any dedupe, no matter how minor is going to reduce costs.

here's my realistic thinking: The announcement that they will be able to change your password and re-encrypt your files suggests bullshitting, if all files can be decrypted with a users private key and mega's master key then everything they've said they're doing is possible except the lie about not having access to users files.

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RIM extends BB10 port-a-thon after dev stampede

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Meh

Re: I disagree.

Not really double or quit, assuming all 31k apps break the $1000 sales target and then mysteriously lose steam, RIM stands to pay out 279M, or roughly 10% of its cash, so plenty of room for more desperate measures if this doesn't pan out.

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WTF is... Weightless?

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Mushroom

Kill it with fire

Yet another half baked technoutopian wet dream for soulless wankers to market to fucking idiots.

It will never work, well, it will work for a bit, then it will fuck up and you'll find your smoke alarm has been going off every time you leave the house, your cooker keeps calling out engineers, who keep replacing the bit that keeps calling them out, your fridge has ordered 20 litres of sour cream, your washing machine refuses to unlock the door and your telly keeps randomly switching to channel3 because the microwave told it to.

And those will just be the bugs, which the whole system will be riddled with. Once the "hackers" get in on the fun you might as well sell your house and live in a tent before some twat fires up your oven and burns it down for the lols.

TL;DR Fuck the internet of things.

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Mega launches with mega FAIL

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Re: Should be doable

Replying to myself is bad form I know, but no edit, just wanted to clarify, I'm not suggesting they could dedupe two copies of Avatar, I'm suggesting they could dedupe some chunks of an encrypted copy of Avatar against some chunks of an encrypted copy of Titanic, actually, there's no reason why the source files couldn't be the same either but it makes for a more confusing premise.

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jubtastic1
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Should be doable

Just break the encrypted files down into small enough chunks and you'll find dupes, decrypting the chunk with user A's key will give you user A's data, decrypt it with user B's key will give you user B's data. At the end of the day a chunk from the middle of a file is pretty much random binary anyway.

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Wi-Fi, WiGig Alliances to wed, breed 60GHz progeny

jubtastic1
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Re: Specs: Does it penetrate walls? Useful range?

Range of 60Ghz networks are around 20-30% of 5Ghz networks, so an access point per room, maybe more for bigger spaces, hard to see how this is going to compete against 5G Wifi.

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Ofcom looks at contract opt-outs as users rage over price hikes

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Re: Inflation red herring

Thanks for saving me the time to write that, can't believe it's so far down in the comments, from the article you might form the impression that everyone bought their phones at the same time then the poor telco had to try and survive for two years until the next payday, the reality is that there's a constant stream of new customers signing up and if the telco believes those customers are going to incur greater costs over the course of their contracts then that should be reflected in the price.

Adjusting existing contracts to subsidise new customers is at best lazy and at worst criminal.

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Leaping hedgehog probes planned for Martian moon Phobos

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Solar Panels

Look like they'll be completly covered in dust after the first roll.

*Wonders if NASA is outsourcing it's probe design to Lucasarts*

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Drobo B1200i: The heavy-duty array even your mum could use

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Give it six months

Then retest the I/O. Every drobo we've put in has exhibited a severe performance drop off over time. Cure was to reformat and copy everything back, did that twice before giving up and using them as backup mirrors.

I've also seen random disk drop outs and rebuilds, storage space go missing until rebooted, and an esata drobo that only connected to the dashboard for setup and health checks after you powered everything down and switched the esata for FireWire or USB.

Haven't tested one for a few years so maybe they're better now, let us know how you get on.

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It's JUST possible, but Apple MIGHT not make an iWatch in 2013

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Re: Doesn't sound right though

Or possibly less than the old iPod nano, just enough guts to capture touch events, speech for Siri, button presses and act as a 1.5" AirPlay screen for another device, that way all the processing would be handled by the host device and you wouldn't need to update your watch apps every other day.

As far as orientation goes, here's hoping for it being round, like a proper watch.

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Israel plots gigabit fibre-to-home rollout

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Windows

I can only hope

That one day the UK will catch up with those developed counties as well.

Spare a fibre guv?

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Thunderbirds, Captain Scarlet creator Gerry Anderson dies at 83

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Go

Re: very talented guy, r.i.p.

Space 1999 Eagle was probably the best toy I ever had, hardy little thing as well, survived many a crash landing on passing planets.

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Boffins build elastic wires with liquid metal

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Re: ...don't want to eat... ...may be toxic...

May I suggest Raptors, they are also stretchy, conductive and just as likely to appear in a consumer product as this witches brew.

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Windows Firefox stiffs Adobe Flash, plays H.264 YouTube vids

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Black Helicopters

Re: but the flash video player is STILL better

Google appears to be intentionally borking html video on YouTube, playback is worse on the desktop, they don't full screen properly on mobile unless it's embedded somewhere else, videos that play h264 on mobile require flash on the desktop etc. while Vimeo, who seem small fry in terms of engineering talent compared with Google manage just fine.

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Little spider makes big-spider-puppet CLONE of itself out of dirt

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Trollface

Re: Not so original

You are Tracy from BabeStation and I claim my £5

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jubtastic1
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Re: So, presumably

Nope, natural selection means the spiders that make their dirt the most spider shaped are the ones less likely to be eaten, so the decoys become better with each generation, no mirrors or smoke required.

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Information teleportation goes large-scale

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Meh

Count me in

Amongst those who feel let down once they read there's a bit of wire between these two things, Teleportation is the wrong word for this, it conjures images of well, conjuring stuff out of thin air, like Kirk for instance.

This seems more like (useful yet boring), quantum cloning over a phone line.

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Instagram back-pedals in face of user outrage

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Devil

A cynical take

They're not stupid enough to think that there wouldn't be a massive outcry and a whole load of users would walk away from Instagram, they were counting on it.

Instagram came with a massive installed base, but the users that aren't on Facebook are dead weight, chuck out some scary legalese and they'll take their cash free business to someone else's trough.

Are users abandoning Facebook over changes to the Instagram T&C? not really, will Facebook users still post pictures with the adopted Instagram filters? yep, result, costs are down.

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First Mac OS X fake installer pops up, racks up your mobe bill

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Re: The OS is irrelevent

You're missing the point, The only resource this app is using is the Internet connection, it prompts the user to enter their mobile number as part of the 'activation' procedure, the user then receives a text with a code, they supply this info which is ferried back and apparently enough for the fraudsters to sign them up for premium rate SMS.

I'm guessing they take the users mobile number and supply it to a telco who send out the auth code, and should that code come back to the telco via the fraudsters the telco assumes the user has signed up, this is the bit that needs fixing, because you don't need to find an exploit, create an app, or even a website registration form to trick people into this scam, hell you could do it over the phone, by post or even face to face in the street, as all it requires to work is a lie and a telco prepared to turn a blind eye.

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jubtastic1
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The OS is irrelevent

This is a social engineering attack, It's basically just asking users to send enough info so they can be subscribed to premium rate SMS spam, it could just as easily be implemented as a two factor security system on a website as no software exploits are required.

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Major £30m cyberheist pulled off using MOBILE malware

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WTF?

That's a big pile of money

With cash like that for the taking this is only going to get much, much worse, I still don't understand how you get 30M out of the system though, does it transfer to a Bank speciallly set up for crims or is it a syncronised 30M International ATM withdrawal? Surely there's an easily viewable and reversible credit transfer trail?

Or is this one of those things that's left broken because of 'legitimate' business uses?

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Revealed: ITU's deep packet snooping standard leaks online

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Re: Do not need DPI to detect malicous content

Bit late in the year for that isn't it?

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Slash A THIRD off Surface RT price or it's toast, Microsoft told

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Anyone seen one in the wild?

I've seen two, but they were in the window of a pawn shop so I'm not sure they count.

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Apple's new 'Assembled in USA' iMac a bear to upgrade, repair

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Re: Not really a problem

It will be a problem for 100% of my clients, which will at least keep me in a job as Apple isn't going to give those machines a new lease of life in 5 years by switching out that laptop drive for an SSD and bumping the RAM for them.

Can't say I'm looking forward to adding a heat gun to my tools though.

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The Lord of the Rings saga lies hidden deep in your Mac

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More fodder for geektool...

And another bit of desktop gets scrawled upon.

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Ten badass brainy computers from science fiction

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Mushroom

Re: Prior Art

Sorry to do this, as I'm really enjoying the comments on this thread, but people saying something they read in a book or saw on TV is prior art is right up there with people who say borrow when they mean lent, their instead of they're and also people that can't open fucking cereal boxes without mutilating them and yes I'm talking about my wife.

*counts to ten*

Anyway the point is that only real things that actually work can be prior art, which is pretty sensible when you think about it.

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Bungie talks up 'genre-defining' Destiny shooter

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Happy

Always with the negative vibes

I'm looking forward to it, tank looks a bit MaK and I think they did a good job with Halo and Marathon almost cost me my job back in the day heh.

Assuming this will run on one of the boy's consoles It's going on my shopping list alongside GTA5, shut up and take my money style.

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Rockstar ramps it up with Grand Theft Auto V reveal

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Ditto

Also racing around the perimeter of the map was fun, easiest on a police bike with sirens wailing but it still took a good ten minutes a lap.

That enormous unlocked map in GTA5 is ringing my bell.

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Elon Musk envisions small town of VEGETARIANS ON MARS

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Pint

Re: Dreamers

"he's throwing time, money and other people's brains at launch vehicles"

Because there's nothing quite like a fresh coat of brains on a rocket

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Mall lurk man: Apple smashes Microsoft in Black Friday fondle wars

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Happy

Re: 11 ipads per hour? Yes, must admit that I find that one a bit strange.

Would one every five and a half minutes sound ok? or did I simply miss the sarcasm tag?

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4chan founder Moot threatens site for using his handle

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FAIL

Agreed

A cursory google about 4chan should have been enough to convince them that calling their site moot might be fine legally but is going to guarantee a never ending onslaught of trolling and DOSing.

I'm sure it will be commenting reimagined, just not in the way they intended.

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Apple's profits fetish could spell its DOOM

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Devil

Re: Apple are dominant only if you choose your stats carefully

I live in London, it's a fairly large English city whose citizens on average have more disposable income than other parts of the country, I have no idea how smartphone marketshare is in say Grimsby, but here in the Capital there are probably more iPhones in your vicinity than rats, and they're being used, people are buying apps, browsing the web, as long as Apple can keep people like this happy it will do just fine.

Here's how I see things playing out:

Amazon and Google's "look ma, no profit!" devices cause a lot of manufacturers to drop out of the mobile market unless they're being commissioned to build for Amazon or Google.

Time passes.

Google downsizes Android development, due to the majority of sold devices sidestepping them altogether (Amazon, Chinese and Indian home market forks of the codebase), limited returns from content deals and an increasingly competitive ad market squeezing their spending.

Amazon either achieves its goal of monopolising shopping and jacks up prices to become the worlds most profitable company, or more likely, violently implodes after a bad quarter leaves it heavily in debt (And the rest of us wondering where all the shops went).

Apple rolls into new market, new device is poo-poohed on the blogs, sells like hot cakes.

Microsoft abandons W8, announces all new W9 codenamed 'Sure Thing' although later renamed 'W9 Windows Experience Editions' due to legal issues, which sadly, will not run on current W8 mobile or tablet hardware.

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OMG! Aaaah! Apple TV! Yes! No ... Probably! Sometime!

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I think there's some confusion here

There's too much focus on the device, whether that's a box or an integrated TV, rather than the architecture of the service that it will enable. Apple aren't going to steamroll into the TV market by making a pretty device, it's going to be because the experience is better, easier to use, better content suggestions, multi device integration, sharing etc.

Basically a load of ideas that have been explored elsewhere with varying degrees of execution rolled into one very well executed service that sells profitable devices.

Until they have the deals and backend to make that happen, AppleTV will remain 'hobby' status.

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Saucy MINX in a THONG makes GoDaddy's hy-PHWOAR-visors go

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Paris Hilton

Re: The images on theregister.co.uk are sometimes just as irrelevant

Sexy time

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Lawyer sues Microsoft rather than slot an SD card into his Surface

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WTF?

A little shocked by the comments here

Massive turnout of folks that think selling a 32GB device that's already half full is no different to the 1-10% fill rate we see on everything else, 50% isn't the start of the slippery slope, it's fucking halfway down, accept it and be damned.

Can't help but think this could be a major reason behind Sinofsky's abrupt departure.

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Two scam apps stink up iTunes store, pulled thanks to Reg reader

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Seems to me

That it almost certainly wasn't labelled as an NFC app when it was reviewed, sounds like it was a radio app, ditto for the other one, which seems to be an alarm clock.

What I'm guessing happened here is that a dev submitted the dull apps, got them approved then later changed the descriptions and screenshots in the store to represent them as something else.

I don't understand why though as Apple are clearly going to get wind of this sort of thing and boot the dev from the store long before the dev receives a payment from Apple.

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Even a CHILD can make a Trojan to pillage Windows Phone 8

jubtastic1
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Re: That's why I both like and hate the Android scheme

@Richard 12

Can't speak for WP8 but iOS apps request permissions which can be later reviewed and or revoked in Settings > Privacy.

Same caveats apply, if you deny a mapping app access to location services, a camera app access to the camera or a social app access to your contacts they probably wont work as intended or possibly at all.

One difference seems to be that Android asks for all 'required' permissions at install while iOS asks for permissions individually, as features that require them are used.

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Steelie Neelie admits laptop hack during IGF

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Holmes

Re: Coo - A really hard choice

Only thing that I can think of is perhaps an email that an iCloud account has been accessed by an unknown computer.

I'd assume they were using full disk encryption with beefy passwords on the laptops themselves, but if they weren't and the laptops were pwned while unattended I don't see a mechanism for Apple to alert them to that fact.

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Report: McAfee founder wanted for murder in Belize

jubtastic1
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Trollface

Can't seem to face up to the facts, tense and nervous, can't relax.

Giveaway is that despite claiming the government raided him twice, wants him dead, poisoned his dogs and set him up for murder he still doesn't want to leave the country, because it's nice.

There's more on this story at wired, he's been regaling them with his tale of how he outwitted the Police by burying himself up to his neck in sand and disguising his head with a cardboard box.

My gut says he's tripping his balls off and is a danger to all and sundry.

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Apple to ditch Intel – report

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Re: research

I can imagine them integrating ARM into the current Intel motherboards to allow a splashtop style iOS for Mac laptops, trading performance for massivly extended battery runtimes.

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Free Android apps often secretly make calls, use the camera

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re: iOS app permissions

Are requested when first running the app, if you say no and it needs it to work it will request again when you try and use the feature.

Current App allowed permissions can also be viewed in Settings > Privacy and can be recinded from here.

It's not possible to silently make a call or message from an iOS app, I think you could possibly initiate a camera instance then hide it under the apps chrome to sneakily take a photo but I haven't heard of this happening.

Permission is not required for the microphone either so I suppose you could grab audio.

There's an element of *nix vs windows here, in that one platform is (on the whole), easier to penetrate, has more seats to exploit with more of them on older less secure versions to boot. Which isn't to say that the latest versions of Windows or Android are less secure, just that there are a lot of older versions running out there.

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Google stiffs Samsung on price, now wireless charging too

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Nice to know we have so much spare energy capacity

I was worried when I read here about the coming brownouts but I guess that's sorted if we're switching to charging systems that throw away 30%.

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Hardware hacker proves Apple Fusion Drive works on older Macs

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And there's more

He's since run a ZFS filesystem on a Fusion LV after determining that it works at the block level rather than the file level. It also seems there's a built in 600 second of idle wait baked in before the OS re-tiers the data across the physical volumes, Interesting stuff.

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El Reg acquires wildly dangerous laser cannon (with lightsabre option)

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I'm in the killjoy camp

"You'll shoot your eye out!"

Massive potential for accidental permenent blindness outweighs coolness of these lasers.

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French gov 'plans to hand Google €1bn tax bill' - report

jubtastic1
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Mushroom

Fuck them all

Anyone can build a business that's only profitable when they pay less than a percent in tax, fuck, my family would be well set in a nice house if we didn't have to pay tax, but someone has to pay for the roads, police, fire service, hospitals, schools, sanitation, etc etc. It's fucked up that the biggest corporations in the world are passing on their share of the costs to the public.

First against the wall etc

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Forgetting Microsoft: How Steve Ballmer's Surface could win

jubtastic1
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Meh

The problem with the 'give it away for free' model

And even the 'sell it at cost' model, Is that your customers absolutly have to purchase your content and services later to pay for it, which means the hardware is going to have to be locked down solidly if you expect to stay in business, otherwise you'll be reading the news one day to discover that some enterprising bastard has created a cluster out of a million of your free tablets.

I for one prefer the old school 'people get paid when I buy something and it's mine to do with as I like' model.

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Hurricane Sandy blows away Gizmodo, HuffPo, various other blogs

jubtastic1
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Devil

'One size fits all' BOFH excuse for the day (or week)

Sandy shorted the power at the datacenter, ripped up the Atlantic cable, has taken down the sat links, destroyed the data repeaters, flooded the internet pipes, is jamming the wifi...

"What's that, your printer isn't working and there's a flashing red light next to a 'drop' symbol? That will be the automatic storm protection kicking in, try and locate a working printer in a more protected part of the building, thank you for bothering IT support, have a nice day"

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Apple exec behind Maps and Siri to exit One Infinite Loop

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Really happy to see the death of digital stitching

And will be interesting to see SJI's take on a the UI, expecting an initial quick reskin of the awful stuff before we see a new direction though.

Also Eddy Cue picks up the pieces again, that guy is a fucking star.

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