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* Posts by jubtastic1

960 posts • joined 11 May 2006

Perky smartphone figures can't stop droop of worldwide mobe sales

jubtastic1
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Refresh cycle?

Contract Dumbphones are typically eligible for yearly upgrades, whilst smartphones average 18-24 months, if smartphone marketshare is increasing you'd expect a drop in total mobe shipments no?

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Intel's new TV box to point creepy spy camera at YOUR FACE

jubtastic1
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Paris Hilton

6079 Tastic, J!

"Yes, you! ...You can do better than that. You’re not trying. Harder please!”

Chatroulette meets 1984.

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NASA melts mysterious 'metal Martian flower' myth

jubtastic1
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Holmes

I think NASA wants the conspiricy nutters

Based upon the fact that the PDF they put out to explain this feature doesn't contain a single image comparable with the shot from mars, whilst a google image search for 'ventifact' returns a shitload of images that make the martian one look lame.

Maybe there's more funding for exploring mysterious places than boring ones.

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BT copper-cable choppers cop 16 months in the cooler

jubtastic1
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Holmes

It's really down to the quality of the criminals

The competence of the police wasn't really tested in this case due to the fact that these muppets actually went back to the scene of the crime the next day to try and steal more stuff, although you might argue they were just playing the odds, what with it being a one in a million shot that BT engineers would actually be on site the next day.

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Competition crowdsources blisteringly-fast software

jubtastic1
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Thumb Down

Glad I don't work for the firm that developed the original software

Bit embarrassing to have your 'can't be improved' algorithm bested by 97000%, for $500 of code.

Where is the Alan Sugar 'You're Fired!" Icon?

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Illicit phone rings in Sri Lankan inmate's back crack

jubtastic1
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Trollface

Family heirloom

Five long years he wore this phone up his ass. Then, he died of dysentery. He give me the phone. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of plastic up my ass two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. Now, little man, I give the phone to you.

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Curiosity photographs mysterious metal object on Martian rock

jubtastic1
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Boffin

Re: Original Image

I have a geology A level, it's been a few years but I'm pretty sure that's a rock wang.

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Google exec defends search snooping, location tracking

jubtastic1
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Trollface

Microsoft adverts

Still have that home shopping channel feel to them, wonder if that's because Steve likes that kind of advert or it's simply perfectly targetted marketing?

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Paper computers: Not mere pulp fiction

jubtastic1
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Re: The paperless office.....

I thought that too, until I discovered that the wall to wall, ceiling to floor ring binders that filled two different clients offices weren't filled with reference material as id imagined, but in fact were mostly hard copies of every email they've ever sent or received for the last ten years.

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Taiwan's Polytron promises see-through phones

jubtastic1
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Stop

Why do we want this again?

Isn't the novelty going to wear thin pretty quickly? I mean we've had the technology to produce transparent books for centuries but I don't see any on the shelves, yet for some reason loads of effort is being thrown into TV's or monitors that allow you to see the wall behind them, or maybe the person on the other side of the desk, their monitor and documents all overlaid onto yours?

The biggest problem with mobile devices is reflections of the enviroment degrading the view and the solution is to absolutly ensure the enviroment will degrade the view by making it transparent?

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The Register: Our all-new app now available for Android

jubtastic1
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Stop

@jason7

Could you pass on a message for me?

I only turn my phone sideways for two reasons, either I'm watching a video or the text was too small to read in portrait. If the clever CSS detects a landscape view and simply makes the column wider whilst keeping the text the same size I give up and close the tab. Also true for unzoomable pages, whatever turkey worked out that trick needs shooting and basting, preferably not in that order.

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Kickstarter project says open source can blast Death Star costs

jubtastic1
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Meh

Re: Open source death star?

Hard to imagine how they expected the plans to remain secret at all when the construction site can be seen from the next star system.

Actually, now that I come to think about it, there was a lot of stuff in that film which in retrospect, seems a little far fetched, take Luke for example, grows up on a Sahara like planet with two suns that's so hot and dry that his uncle can run an economically viable business farming moisture, Yet Luke drives an open top car?

Personally, I'd have gone for something more enclosed, with shade and air conditioning and probably a minibar, so I was less likely to turn into beef jerky when I popped down the garage for 4 pints of Bantha milk.

Still, that's probably why I ended up in IT while Luke shagged a princess saved the Galaxy.

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Apple blocks Java on the Mac over security concerns

jubtastic1
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Re: Fixable by editing XProtect.meta.plist

It's not an accident, raising the minimum allowed version to an increment of the current version is how Apple disables java*, because when the next release comes out it will work without having to undo anything, well assuming oracle have fixed it, but if they haven't Apple will just increment the minimum allowed version again.

* not the first time this has happened.

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Sick software nasty uses child abuse pics to extort infected victims

jubtastic1
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Big Brother

Re: Follow the money?

I've never been asked to do design anything as complex as a system for international money transfers, but if someone had asked I'd have started from the foundation that any system connected to the network had to ensure that all transactions were fully logged and traceable, so that in the event of fraud, laundering or theft it would be easy to see where the money went, who authorised it's movement and ultimately who removed it from the system.

Now some institutions would no doubt baulk at such requirements, given that their business model relies upon not sharing what their clients do with their money, or who their clients even are for that matter, that would be fine, their clients would simply have to personally move their money into such institutions by withdrawing it in cash at a compliant institution, which would fully document the withdrawal, and then deposit it in cash into their Swiss chosen bank, with a similar arrangement for moving money back into the system.

A pain for some to be sure, but locking out banks that lose money trails would make most of the losses from fraud stop overnight and raise the risk of being caught from zero to something real. But it seems that would screw up a lot of 'legitimate' fraud and laundering as well so we don't do that and scams like this remain easy, almost risk free endeavours as a result.

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Google begs for secrecy as it files Glass design with FCC

jubtastic1
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FAIL

Re: GOOGLE are trying to patent Prior Art

The stories you've read in books, seen in films, been told about by a mate down the pub etc are not prior art, they're just "wouldn't it be cool if..." ideas, which aren't patentable for what should be obvious reasons.

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Chinese Apple pirate Kuaiyong sets sail for rest of WORLD

jubtastic1
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FAIL

Re: average age of register commentards

This comment has been deleted for breaking the Blogfelch terms and conditions

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Boffins baffled over pulsar with 'split personality'

jubtastic1
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Childcatcher

"Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology"

-Paul Daniels

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'Op! Op! Op!' Gangnam Style earns Google $8m

jubtastic1
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Stop

I didn't learn to play the guitar.

Is there's a single company aside from google that can point to a proportion of their profits and say "that bit came from that Psy video, only cost us (insert smaller amount) in advertising"?

Money for nothing and the clicks for free.

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Dotcom's Mega smacks back: Our crypto's not crap

jubtastic1
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Meh

Re: dedupe

Well I got burned for suggesting they simply chunked the encrypted files and looked for matches on the last post, but seems to me that the other suggestion that they hash the files before they're encrypted isn't going to work either, as mega are saying they're not keeping any keys and user b's key isn't going to decrypt user a's file even if they were the same before uploading.

Here's my optimistic thinking: The majority of the files that get uploaded to a service like this are already tightly compressed, and that the encrypted versions of these files are going to be bigger and a sliver more compressible, and that given the scale they expect to be working with, any dedupe, no matter how minor is going to reduce costs.

here's my realistic thinking: The announcement that they will be able to change your password and re-encrypt your files suggests bullshitting, if all files can be decrypted with a users private key and mega's master key then everything they've said they're doing is possible except the lie about not having access to users files.

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RIM extends BB10 port-a-thon after dev stampede

jubtastic1
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Meh

Re: I disagree.

Not really double or quit, assuming all 31k apps break the $1000 sales target and then mysteriously lose steam, RIM stands to pay out 279M, or roughly 10% of its cash, so plenty of room for more desperate measures if this doesn't pan out.

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WTF is... Weightless?

jubtastic1
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Mushroom

Kill it with fire

Yet another half baked technoutopian wet dream for soulless wankers to market to fucking idiots.

It will never work, well, it will work for a bit, then it will fuck up and you'll find your smoke alarm has been going off every time you leave the house, your cooker keeps calling out engineers, who keep replacing the bit that keeps calling them out, your fridge has ordered 20 litres of sour cream, your washing machine refuses to unlock the door and your telly keeps randomly switching to channel3 because the microwave told it to.

And those will just be the bugs, which the whole system will be riddled with. Once the "hackers" get in on the fun you might as well sell your house and live in a tent before some twat fires up your oven and burns it down for the lols.

TL;DR Fuck the internet of things.

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Mega launches with mega FAIL

jubtastic1
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Re: Should be doable

Replying to myself is bad form I know, but no edit, just wanted to clarify, I'm not suggesting they could dedupe two copies of Avatar, I'm suggesting they could dedupe some chunks of an encrypted copy of Avatar against some chunks of an encrypted copy of Titanic, actually, there's no reason why the source files couldn't be the same either but it makes for a more confusing premise.

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jubtastic1
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Should be doable

Just break the encrypted files down into small enough chunks and you'll find dupes, decrypting the chunk with user A's key will give you user A's data, decrypt it with user B's key will give you user B's data. At the end of the day a chunk from the middle of a file is pretty much random binary anyway.

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Wi-Fi, WiGig Alliances to wed, breed 60GHz progeny

jubtastic1
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Re: Specs: Does it penetrate walls? Useful range?

Range of 60Ghz networks are around 20-30% of 5Ghz networks, so an access point per room, maybe more for bigger spaces, hard to see how this is going to compete against 5G Wifi.

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Ofcom looks at contract opt-outs as users rage over price hikes

jubtastic1
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Thumb Up

Re: Inflation red herring

Thanks for saving me the time to write that, can't believe it's so far down in the comments, from the article you might form the impression that everyone bought their phones at the same time then the poor telco had to try and survive for two years until the next payday, the reality is that there's a constant stream of new customers signing up and if the telco believes those customers are going to incur greater costs over the course of their contracts then that should be reflected in the price.

Adjusting existing contracts to subsidise new customers is at best lazy and at worst criminal.

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Leaping hedgehog probes planned for Martian moon Phobos

jubtastic1
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Solar Panels

Look like they'll be completly covered in dust after the first roll.

*Wonders if NASA is outsourcing it's probe design to Lucasarts*

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Drobo B1200i: The heavy-duty array even your mum could use

jubtastic1
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Give it six months

Then retest the I/O. Every drobo we've put in has exhibited a severe performance drop off over time. Cure was to reformat and copy everything back, did that twice before giving up and using them as backup mirrors.

I've also seen random disk drop outs and rebuilds, storage space go missing until rebooted, and an esata drobo that only connected to the dashboard for setup and health checks after you powered everything down and switched the esata for FireWire or USB.

Haven't tested one for a few years so maybe they're better now, let us know how you get on.

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It's JUST possible, but Apple MIGHT not make an iWatch in 2013

jubtastic1
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Re: Doesn't sound right though

Or possibly less than the old iPod nano, just enough guts to capture touch events, speech for Siri, button presses and act as a 1.5" AirPlay screen for another device, that way all the processing would be handled by the host device and you wouldn't need to update your watch apps every other day.

As far as orientation goes, here's hoping for it being round, like a proper watch.

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Israel plots gigabit fibre-to-home rollout

jubtastic1
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Windows

I can only hope

That one day the UK will catch up with those developed counties as well.

Spare a fibre guv?

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Thunderbirds, Captain Scarlet creator Gerry Anderson dies at 83

jubtastic1
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Go

Re: very talented guy, r.i.p.

Space 1999 Eagle was probably the best toy I ever had, hardy little thing as well, survived many a crash landing on passing planets.

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Boffins build elastic wires with liquid metal

jubtastic1
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Re: ...don't want to eat... ...may be toxic...

May I suggest Raptors, they are also stretchy, conductive and just as likely to appear in a consumer product as this witches brew.

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Windows Firefox stiffs Adobe Flash, plays H.264 YouTube vids

jubtastic1
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Black Helicopters

Re: but the flash video player is STILL better

Google appears to be intentionally borking html video on YouTube, playback is worse on the desktop, they don't full screen properly on mobile unless it's embedded somewhere else, videos that play h264 on mobile require flash on the desktop etc. while Vimeo, who seem small fry in terms of engineering talent compared with Google manage just fine.

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Little spider makes big-spider-puppet CLONE of itself out of dirt

jubtastic1
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Trollface

Re: Not so original

You are Tracy from BabeStation and I claim my £5

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jubtastic1
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Re: So, presumably

Nope, natural selection means the spiders that make their dirt the most spider shaped are the ones less likely to be eaten, so the decoys become better with each generation, no mirrors or smoke required.

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Information teleportation goes large-scale

jubtastic1
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Meh

Count me in

Amongst those who feel let down once they read there's a bit of wire between these two things, Teleportation is the wrong word for this, it conjures images of well, conjuring stuff out of thin air, like Kirk for instance.

This seems more like (useful yet boring), quantum cloning over a phone line.

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Instagram back-pedals in face of user outrage

jubtastic1
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Devil

A cynical take

They're not stupid enough to think that there wouldn't be a massive outcry and a whole load of users would walk away from Instagram, they were counting on it.

Instagram came with a massive installed base, but the users that aren't on Facebook are dead weight, chuck out some scary legalese and they'll take their cash free business to someone else's trough.

Are users abandoning Facebook over changes to the Instagram T&C? not really, will Facebook users still post pictures with the adopted Instagram filters? yep, result, costs are down.

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First Mac OS X fake installer pops up, racks up your mobe bill

jubtastic1
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Re: The OS is irrelevent

You're missing the point, The only resource this app is using is the Internet connection, it prompts the user to enter their mobile number as part of the 'activation' procedure, the user then receives a text with a code, they supply this info which is ferried back and apparently enough for the fraudsters to sign them up for premium rate SMS.

I'm guessing they take the users mobile number and supply it to a telco who send out the auth code, and should that code come back to the telco via the fraudsters the telco assumes the user has signed up, this is the bit that needs fixing, because you don't need to find an exploit, create an app, or even a website registration form to trick people into this scam, hell you could do it over the phone, by post or even face to face in the street, as all it requires to work is a lie and a telco prepared to turn a blind eye.

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jubtastic1
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The OS is irrelevent

This is a social engineering attack, It's basically just asking users to send enough info so they can be subscribed to premium rate SMS spam, it could just as easily be implemented as a two factor security system on a website as no software exploits are required.

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Major £30m cyberheist pulled off using MOBILE malware

jubtastic1
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WTF?

That's a big pile of money

With cash like that for the taking this is only going to get much, much worse, I still don't understand how you get 30M out of the system though, does it transfer to a Bank speciallly set up for crims or is it a syncronised 30M International ATM withdrawal? Surely there's an easily viewable and reversible credit transfer trail?

Or is this one of those things that's left broken because of 'legitimate' business uses?

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Revealed: ITU's deep packet snooping standard leaks online

jubtastic1
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Re: Do not need DPI to detect malicous content

Bit late in the year for that isn't it?

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Slash A THIRD off Surface RT price or it's toast, Microsoft told

jubtastic1
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Anyone seen one in the wild?

I've seen two, but they were in the window of a pawn shop so I'm not sure they count.

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Apple's new 'Assembled in USA' iMac a bear to upgrade, repair

jubtastic1
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Re: Not really a problem

It will be a problem for 100% of my clients, which will at least keep me in a job as Apple isn't going to give those machines a new lease of life in 5 years by switching out that laptop drive for an SSD and bumping the RAM for them.

Can't say I'm looking forward to adding a heat gun to my tools though.

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The Lord of the Rings saga lies hidden deep in your Mac

jubtastic1
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More fodder for geektool...

And another bit of desktop gets scrawled upon.

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Ten badass brainy computers from science fiction

jubtastic1
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Mushroom

Re: Prior Art

Sorry to do this, as I'm really enjoying the comments on this thread, but people saying something they read in a book or saw on TV is prior art is right up there with people who say borrow when they mean lent, their instead of they're and also people that can't open fucking cereal boxes without mutilating them and yes I'm talking about my wife.

*counts to ten*

Anyway the point is that only real things that actually work can be prior art, which is pretty sensible when you think about it.

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Bungie talks up 'genre-defining' Destiny shooter

jubtastic1
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Happy

Always with the negative vibes

I'm looking forward to it, tank looks a bit MaK and I think they did a good job with Halo and Marathon almost cost me my job back in the day heh.

Assuming this will run on one of the boy's consoles It's going on my shopping list alongside GTA5, shut up and take my money style.

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Rockstar ramps it up with Grand Theft Auto V reveal

jubtastic1
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Ditto

Also racing around the perimeter of the map was fun, easiest on a police bike with sirens wailing but it still took a good ten minutes a lap.

That enormous unlocked map in GTA5 is ringing my bell.

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Elon Musk envisions small town of VEGETARIANS ON MARS

jubtastic1
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Pint

Re: Dreamers

"he's throwing time, money and other people's brains at launch vehicles"

Because there's nothing quite like a fresh coat of brains on a rocket

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Mall lurk man: Apple smashes Microsoft in Black Friday fondle wars

jubtastic1
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Happy

Re: 11 ipads per hour? Yes, must admit that I find that one a bit strange.

Would one every five and a half minutes sound ok? or did I simply miss the sarcasm tag?

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4chan founder Moot threatens site for using his handle

jubtastic1
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FAIL

Agreed

A cursory google about 4chan should have been enough to convince them that calling their site moot might be fine legally but is going to guarantee a never ending onslaught of trolling and DOSing.

I'm sure it will be commenting reimagined, just not in the way they intended.

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Apple's profits fetish could spell its DOOM

jubtastic1
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Devil

Re: Apple are dominant only if you choose your stats carefully

I live in London, it's a fairly large English city whose citizens on average have more disposable income than other parts of the country, I have no idea how smartphone marketshare is in say Grimsby, but here in the Capital there are probably more iPhones in your vicinity than rats, and they're being used, people are buying apps, browsing the web, as long as Apple can keep people like this happy it will do just fine.

Here's how I see things playing out:

Amazon and Google's "look ma, no profit!" devices cause a lot of manufacturers to drop out of the mobile market unless they're being commissioned to build for Amazon or Google.

Time passes.

Google downsizes Android development, due to the majority of sold devices sidestepping them altogether (Amazon, Chinese and Indian home market forks of the codebase), limited returns from content deals and an increasingly competitive ad market squeezing their spending.

Amazon either achieves its goal of monopolising shopping and jacks up prices to become the worlds most profitable company, or more likely, violently implodes after a bad quarter leaves it heavily in debt (And the rest of us wondering where all the shops went).

Apple rolls into new market, new device is poo-poohed on the blogs, sells like hot cakes.

Microsoft abandons W8, announces all new W9 codenamed 'Sure Thing' although later renamed 'W9 Windows Experience Editions' due to legal issues, which sadly, will not run on current W8 mobile or tablet hardware.

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