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* Posts by jubtastic1

944 posts • joined 11 May 2006

Lightspeed variable say intellectuels français

jubtastic1
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Meh

Slightly OT

But I've always thought that C being a fixed value irregardless of the velocity of it's source really shouts "simulation; some calculations have been simplified to ease rendering"

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Apple pulls iForgot password recovery system over security bug

jubtastic1
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Mushroom

Re: Love it

That's right, I'm a fandroid, the whole mac user thing I've been peddling in the comments for the last 7 years was all an elaborate set up.

YFM

/sent from my iPad

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jubtastic1
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WTF?

This is almost as bad as that 1-2-3 stupidity

A fraction harder to exploit because you need the victims birthdate, but essentially the same level of carelessness / ineptitude.

You're holding doing it wrong.

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Space probe spies MYSTERY 'Cold Spot' in very fabric of cosmos itself

jubtastic1
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Happy

Fractal

Looks like a heat map of a planet, band of heat around the middle, cold bits at the poles, swirls in between.

Conclusion: universe is orbiting something bigger.

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Steve Jobs' death clears way for Adobe CTO defection

jubtastic1
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Fuck adobe.

Apple's issue with flash was that it never ever ran as well on OS X as it did on windows, in some circumstances it was orders of magnitude worse, Adobe's reply was that they had deeper hardware access on windows which Apple wouldn't allow, but given Adobe basically lost all the people that could code cleanly when they bought Macromedia, and that everything they've released since is riddled with spastic bugs and exploits I can't say I was surprised.

Case in point, customer asked for help installing CS6 Design standard the other day, there are lengthy instructions, but the short version is to download and install a 3rd party download manager, which proceeds to load a 3GB DMG in a browser window, be careful, as any inturuption during this download will send you into a broken install loop that seems to be unrecoverable, it then asks you to save it, tries to open it, failed, and repeat.

Adobe even have their own separate software download assistant which you have to sign in to with your account yet then doesn't list the stuff you paid for. Solution for anyone else in the same boat is to download the master collection trial and use the design standard serial with it. Absolute Fucking Cretins.

Flash on mobile never really got off the ground anyway, a lot of the existing content was unsuitable for touch and relied on hover for effects, or just added processing load by being little more than a wrapper around h264 video. If adobe could have solved those issues it would have done so on android and we'd still be seeing those 'includes the whole web' jabs on other manufactures marketing materials.

I can't see this guy lasting long at apple.

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300 UK domains pilfered, MASSIVE security lapse blamed

jubtastic1
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Facepalm

That's ridiculous

Just plain asshattery, whoever coded that admin panel needs their computer operators licence revoked.

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Holly(oaks) talking head is FUTURE of face messaging, claims prof

jubtastic1
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Stop

Re: What is it for

#2 I don't want Siri to have a face, I want them to licence HAL or GLaDOS. Make me happy already you Apple bastards, same goes out to Google, get either demented AI as the face of Google Now and you can creep through my most intimate of dox to your hearts content.

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Microsoft issues manual on Brits to Cambridge exports

jubtastic1
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This cockerney translator may also be of assistance to visiting yanks

http://moteprime.org/cockerney/ invaluable resource for conversation in London Town.

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Nelson Mandela's island prison hell to become game

jubtastic1
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Re: Games are never realistic

Houdy Charles Manning! come be my friend in Robben Islandville where you can break rocks, endure degradation and develop a new philosophical outlook!

'Robben Islandville' and 'years of fun' are registered trademarks of Apartheid Games Ltd

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Curiosity succeeds – Mars was wet enough for life!

jubtastic1
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Windows

Re: So... what happened to te water?

Isn't cooling a ferrous metal in a magnetic field one of the methods for producing a permenent magnet? I realise the molen material is itself the source of the magnetism but it's going to solidify from the edges in, stands to reason that those edges would become magnetised and later be the magnet for the rest of it as it solidifies.

That would leave a humungous magnet inside a spinning mars which should still be producing a field.

Except that didn't happen so I think the field is likely produced by convection currents within the core, and those currents stop long before it starts solidifying, leaving a denagnetised ball of metal. I assume the flip flopping of Earths field indicates the same will eventually happen here, stopping halfway through a flip to leave the Earth to be ravaged by the solar wind.

I suppose if you build big enough coils at Mar's poles, you might link the fields through the ferrous core and create an artificial field just big enough to retain an atomsphere, perhaps something to try when the Sun is due to red giant and swallow the Earth, unless it's easier to simply move the Earth at that point in which case I'd go with that instead.</barely coherent rambling>

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Rise Of The Machines: What will become of box-watchers, delivery drivers?

jubtastic1
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Megaphone

Re: But How

Either It will phone you and tell you to come outside and pick up your parcel from the clearly marked opening on the side of the truck, or some minimum wage van monkey will be employed to dribble it to your door.

Automated Royal Mail trucks will of course be miniaturised as they will only be carrying "sorry we missed you" cards anyway.

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Mozilla to Apple: we don't care about iOS

jubtastic1
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Trollface

They should strike back

By making their own Mobile OS and only allowing Gecko based browsers.

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Microsoft backs law banning Google Apps from schools

jubtastic1
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Terminator

Re: I rarely criticize microsoft. I do it for the first time.

Well two other AI's upvoted it and downvoted you, I suggest that just because your meat logic is incapable of rendering meaning does not indicate the absence of meaning.

Perhaps I'm being too harsh, Google translate does miss the nuences of the original binary.

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BAN SMUT, rage MEPs: Purpose of internet must be EXTERMINATED

jubtastic1
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Linux

Re: EU Political Correctness / Communism / Fascism

I can't believe you missed this golden oppurtunity to attack Microsoft and instead went off on some tangent about the EU.

If you're not going to take this job seriously remember there are plenty of others that would fill your shoes.

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Congratulations, freetards: You are THE FIVE PER CENT

jubtastic1
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Holmes

Lies, Damn LIes etc

Freetards want stiffer sentences? Can pay, but won't pay? have you read any of the comments on torrent sites? do they look like they came from ABC1? Goodness gracious, what stuff and nonsense,[B. please replace this with something appropriately colloquial -J] Thats all bollox innit guv.

A:3 V:6 M:10 poor copy, BR rip is better.

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Intel, Apple forging chip-baking deal?

jubtastic1
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Otellini don't mean no ARM

Apparently Apple averaged 10 ARM's per second over the last three months. Intel would have to be pretty stubborn to not want a peice of that.

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Gone in 30 minutes: Chinese tweets purged by army of censors

jubtastic1
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Big Brother

Ministry of Truth

As dystopian images go, 4,200 chinese workers in cubicles combing through a firehose of their fellows content and deleting criticism is pretty strong, i suspect the reality is less than a hundred guys monitoring a watchlist and leaving the posts up for 30 minutes to a) record who reads/reposts them and b) remind the public that they are being watched.

I really cant see this scalling indefinetly, and I hope that when China takes the boot off its collective face they don't burn down all the infrastructure in the process.

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Oz Senator says Google Glass could 'end privacy as we know it'

jubtastic1
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Megaphone

Every breath you take

A world where headmounted video recording is commonplace is a world without privacy, that the idea is being pitched by a company whose revenue depends upon user profiling should be setting off fucking loud klaxons.

Surely this ground has already been covered by Star Trek or Doctor Who?

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Proto Steam box may feel your arousal, hints Valve daddy

jubtastic1
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Meh

The next generation of consoles

Reminds me of all the HD DVD vs Blueray fuss, with everyone competing to be the guy that loses to streaming. In ten years time no one is going to buy a console, pretty much anything with a screen will be able to connect to an online platform that does the grunt work and sends the video to the player. It's just a matter of time before the bandwidth and latency is up to snuff, It already is in some parts of the world.

Which isn't to say that they shouldn't bother, just that it's curious that a company well placed to thrive in the coming gaming revolution is trying to break into the static hardware market it will render obsolete.

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Twenty classic arcade games

jubtastic1
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Happy

Re: Blimey!

+1 for Nemesis, awesome game that could make 20p last a lunch break, Also honourable mentions for Commando & Kung Fu Master, oh and Rolling Thunder & Green Beret.

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Need an army of killer zombies? Yours for just $25 per 1,000 PCs

jubtastic1
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Happy

There's a legitimate business in there

The Pitch: Rent your PC idle time.

Your machine is professionally kept clean of malware by our PFY / software.

We run low impact processing loads on your hardware while you're not using it.

You get paid for the usage.*

All workloads and clients stringently checked to ensure legality.

Visit clusterjub.orb for more details.

*don''t quit your day job.

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New class of industrial-scale super-phishing emails threatens biz

jubtastic1
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Terminator

Re: Self aware

The humans that click the links are arguably self aware, I think we can assume that by the time the average laptop has the combined IQ of six thousand PE teachers it will be just as easily fooled by the Hawking model the spammers are using to craft the spam.

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Flexy 'iWatch' glass said to be three years away

jubtastic1
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Stop

Apple, Corning and Gorilla Glass

No need to wonder, a simple google for corning steve jobs will tell you all you need to know about the relationship between these companies.

You're welcome.

YFM.

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Canadian cyborg says Google Glass design is cracked

jubtastic1
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Terminator

Couple of thoughts, make that three.

It's too early, they look stupid because we don't yet have the tech to completly hide all the gubbins, 5-10 years later this could have been launched without people objecting to them simply because of the design.

It's Google, they would give these away for free if they could because ultimately every wearer of these things becomes another pair of eyes and ears pouring data into the mainframe. Google isn't evil, they're just obsessed with quantifying reality, they're not going to feel they're finished* until they're inside your head, recording your thoughts while looking out of the holes.

Would we trust anyone with a real time feed of our lives? I say no, that this tech isn't going to go mainstream until they have a secure connection to a back end on our own 'server' and all the data requests from the server run through some sort of onion network to maintain privacy.

* Machines don't actually have feelings, the tasks state will be recorded as 'complete' when a complex series of cascading boolean statements all return true.

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Health pros: Alcohol is EVIL – raise its price, ban its ads

jubtastic1
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Big Brother

2013 progress report

Smoking 2007

Boozing 2013

Coffee 2015

Porn 2018

Red meat 2020

The will to live 2020

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Architect pitches builder-bothering 'Print your own house' plan

jubtastic1
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Thumb Up

Re: do for building what Linux did for software

Hush you, it's a fantastic idea, in fact I liked it so much I forked it on github, forget about these losers, openjubhomes.org is where its at.

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Texan contends iPod EXPLODED IN HER FACE

jubtastic1
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Trollface

iTouch

The plaintif also notes that had she been driving her bimmer at the time of detonation the sudden loss of viddy could have ended right horrorshow like.

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Chinese Army: US hacks us so much, I'm amazed you can read this

jubtastic1
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Mushroom

Re: But Really...

It's basically a re-run of the Cold War, but instead of mutually assured nuclear destruction we have mutually assured economic destruction and instead of the two sides being openly hostile towards each other they're actually business partners and largely dependant on each other.

That It's also completely insane is par for the course.

Here's the kicker though, because the consequence of lobbing a nuke were very well understood by all sides to almost certainly result in the end of all life on earth, a whole bunch of systems and safeguards were implemented to ensure that it would be really hard to either accidentally fire one off or for some guy to have a bad day and decide to fuck the planet. Wasn't perfect of course and the fact that we're all still here is completly down to the fact that on the occasions the system failed the guys that were told to press the button didn't.

This time round there's no safeguards, if one guy hacks into the right system and decides wipe it for the lols instead of pwning it for God and Country, it could escalate shockingly quickly to a couple of billion people surprised by the sudden loss of power, communications and water.

Sleep well.

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Squillionaire space tourist offers oldsters a holiday to Mars

jubtastic1
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Old married couple

What you want are a couple of old gay institutionalised prisoners, granted it wont look as nice on the PR materials but, and I cant stress this enough, they'll cakewalk the two years in TV friendly good spirts while your married couiple are almost guaranteed a fatality within 6 months.

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Firefox to spit out third-party cookies

jubtastic1
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Meh

This isn't going to have the desired result

It will make tracking harder for about a day, assuming the ad companies fall asleep at the wheel, before they switch to another method that works. Long term all this will accomplish is to make it harder for users to see what's going on and frankly, cookies are too hard for most users to make any sense of anyway.

I think it would be a better idea to have a think about who is going to pay for the web, users or advertisers, and after that amazingly short discussion, how to design a system that allows the advertisers to target a particular audience with a high degree of confidence that doesn't require them to maintain a database of individual users, which of course raises even more questions about who would host and be responsible for such a system.

On second thoughts, I believe cookies are the lesser of many evils.

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Apple files 'iWatch' patent application

jubtastic1
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Trollface

Bog standard

Yes, its exactly like when you connect an external display to your laptop then obscure part of that display with the laptop screen and the computer automatically adjusts the UI to take into account the bit of monitor that can't be seen.

All they've really done is think up a clever idea for multiple screen management that hasn't been done before and applied it to a single screen that can obscure itself by virtue of the boring fact that it can wrap around objects.

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Oklahoma cops rake ashes of 'spontaneous combustion' victim

jubtastic1
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Holmes

The simplest explanations are usually correct.

Vampire caught out by roller blind malfunction.

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Australia cuts Microsoft bill by AU$100m

jubtastic1
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WTF?

So how much are they paying?

Were they paying 101m before the cut or 1bn? Because 100m sounds like more than enough to throw at devs to add whatever's missing from Libre Office and give it a polish, and you'd only have to pay it once.

Hey, why not ask around, maybe there's a few other governments that would be interested in drastically reducing their Software spend by sharing the dev costs, with enough partners you might even get commitments down into the single millions.

Yes, I am aware of the numerous reasons this will never happen, and also that even if it did happen it would become an almighty train wreak, but it's still annoying to see money pissed away year in year out because the people in charge of spending it are without exception, a bunch of fucking muppets.

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iOS 6.x hack allows personal data export, free calls

jubtastic1
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Meh

Note that Siri

Gives you access to all this and more from the lock screen anyway, in fact it would be nice if the phone noticed Siri had been activated from the headset and that the phone was in a pocket so as not to activate the screen and allow accidental mute, speakerphone, FaceTime etc interruptions to calls.

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Perky smartphone figures can't stop droop of worldwide mobe sales

jubtastic1
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Refresh cycle?

Contract Dumbphones are typically eligible for yearly upgrades, whilst smartphones average 18-24 months, if smartphone marketshare is increasing you'd expect a drop in total mobe shipments no?

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Intel's new TV box to point creepy spy camera at YOUR FACE

jubtastic1
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Paris Hilton

6079 Tastic, J!

"Yes, you! ...You can do better than that. You’re not trying. Harder please!”

Chatroulette meets 1984.

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NASA melts mysterious 'metal Martian flower' myth

jubtastic1
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Holmes

I think NASA wants the conspiricy nutters

Based upon the fact that the PDF they put out to explain this feature doesn't contain a single image comparable with the shot from mars, whilst a google image search for 'ventifact' returns a shitload of images that make the martian one look lame.

Maybe there's more funding for exploring mysterious places than boring ones.

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BT copper-cable choppers cop 16 months in the cooler

jubtastic1
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Holmes

It's really down to the quality of the criminals

The competence of the police wasn't really tested in this case due to the fact that these muppets actually went back to the scene of the crime the next day to try and steal more stuff, although you might argue they were just playing the odds, what with it being a one in a million shot that BT engineers would actually be on site the next day.

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Competition crowdsources blisteringly-fast software

jubtastic1
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Thumb Down

Glad I don't work for the firm that developed the original software

Bit embarrassing to have your 'can't be improved' algorithm bested by 97000%, for $500 of code.

Where is the Alan Sugar 'You're Fired!" Icon?

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Illicit phone rings in Sri Lankan inmate's back crack

jubtastic1
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Trollface

Family heirloom

Five long years he wore this phone up his ass. Then, he died of dysentery. He give me the phone. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of plastic up my ass two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. Now, little man, I give the phone to you.

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Curiosity photographs mysterious metal object on Martian rock

jubtastic1
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Boffin

Re: Original Image

I have a geology A level, it's been a few years but I'm pretty sure that's a rock wang.

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Google exec defends search snooping, location tracking

jubtastic1
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Trollface

Microsoft adverts

Still have that home shopping channel feel to them, wonder if that's because Steve likes that kind of advert or it's simply perfectly targetted marketing?

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Paper computers: Not mere pulp fiction

jubtastic1
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Re: The paperless office.....

I thought that too, until I discovered that the wall to wall, ceiling to floor ring binders that filled two different clients offices weren't filled with reference material as id imagined, but in fact were mostly hard copies of every email they've ever sent or received for the last ten years.

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Taiwan's Polytron promises see-through phones

jubtastic1
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Stop

Why do we want this again?

Isn't the novelty going to wear thin pretty quickly? I mean we've had the technology to produce transparent books for centuries but I don't see any on the shelves, yet for some reason loads of effort is being thrown into TV's or monitors that allow you to see the wall behind them, or maybe the person on the other side of the desk, their monitor and documents all overlaid onto yours?

The biggest problem with mobile devices is reflections of the enviroment degrading the view and the solution is to absolutly ensure the enviroment will degrade the view by making it transparent?

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The Register: Our all-new app now available for Android

jubtastic1
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Stop

@jason7

Could you pass on a message for me?

I only turn my phone sideways for two reasons, either I'm watching a video or the text was too small to read in portrait. If the clever CSS detects a landscape view and simply makes the column wider whilst keeping the text the same size I give up and close the tab. Also true for unzoomable pages, whatever turkey worked out that trick needs shooting and basting, preferably not in that order.

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Kickstarter project says open source can blast Death Star costs

jubtastic1
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Meh

Re: Open source death star?

Hard to imagine how they expected the plans to remain secret at all when the construction site can be seen from the next star system.

Actually, now that I come to think about it, there was a lot of stuff in that film which in retrospect, seems a little far fetched, take Luke for example, grows up on a Sahara like planet with two suns that's so hot and dry that his uncle can run an economically viable business farming moisture, Yet Luke drives an open top car?

Personally, I'd have gone for something more enclosed, with shade and air conditioning and probably a minibar, so I was less likely to turn into beef jerky when I popped down the garage for 4 pints of Bantha milk.

Still, that's probably why I ended up in IT while Luke shagged a princess saved the Galaxy.

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Apple blocks Java on the Mac over security concerns

jubtastic1
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Re: Fixable by editing XProtect.meta.plist

It's not an accident, raising the minimum allowed version to an increment of the current version is how Apple disables java*, because when the next release comes out it will work without having to undo anything, well assuming oracle have fixed it, but if they haven't Apple will just increment the minimum allowed version again.

* not the first time this has happened.

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Sick software nasty uses child abuse pics to extort infected victims

jubtastic1
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Big Brother

Re: Follow the money?

I've never been asked to do design anything as complex as a system for international money transfers, but if someone had asked I'd have started from the foundation that any system connected to the network had to ensure that all transactions were fully logged and traceable, so that in the event of fraud, laundering or theft it would be easy to see where the money went, who authorised it's movement and ultimately who removed it from the system.

Now some institutions would no doubt baulk at such requirements, given that their business model relies upon not sharing what their clients do with their money, or who their clients even are for that matter, that would be fine, their clients would simply have to personally move their money into such institutions by withdrawing it in cash at a compliant institution, which would fully document the withdrawal, and then deposit it in cash into their Swiss chosen bank, with a similar arrangement for moving money back into the system.

A pain for some to be sure, but locking out banks that lose money trails would make most of the losses from fraud stop overnight and raise the risk of being caught from zero to something real. But it seems that would screw up a lot of 'legitimate' fraud and laundering as well so we don't do that and scams like this remain easy, almost risk free endeavours as a result.

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Google begs for secrecy as it files Glass design with FCC

jubtastic1
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FAIL

Re: GOOGLE are trying to patent Prior Art

The stories you've read in books, seen in films, been told about by a mate down the pub etc are not prior art, they're just "wouldn't it be cool if..." ideas, which aren't patentable for what should be obvious reasons.

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Chinese Apple pirate Kuaiyong sets sail for rest of WORLD

jubtastic1
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FAIL

Re: average age of register commentards

This comment has been deleted for breaking the Blogfelch terms and conditions

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