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* Posts by jubtastic1

944 posts • joined 11 May 2006

Kettle 'which looks like HITLER' brews up sturm in a teacup

jubtastic1
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IT Angle

Shave and a haircut

It doesn't take much to suggest Hitler, a circle, arc of hair at the top right and the moustache is all that's required, this Kettle goes the extra distance by adding a Southpark style shirt, thin black tie and the salute.

It looks a bit like Hitler, it's mildly amusing, Photographer deserves a bonus for turning a run of the mill kettle into a sell out item.

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Tim Cook: Wearable tech's nice, but Google Glass will NEVER BE COOL

jubtastic1
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Mushroom

Same old same old

'An iPod? good luck with that you fucking muppets'

'iPhone? dumbPhone more like, they'll be lucky to sell a dozen'

'WTF It's just a big iPhone with a retarded name, netbooks are the future'

'A fucking watch? what a lame ass last century idea'

Only a matter of time for the comments about how after a good start Apple are now losing smartwatch marketshare and anyway the next rumoured iProduct is a stupid idea that no one in their right mind would want.

Sent from my iSofa

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PC market facing worst-ever slump in 2013

jubtastic1
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Stop

Semantics

The PC market is doing just fine, desktops and laptop sales are down, smartphone and tablet sales are up, won't be long until tablets are recognised as PC's (personal computer for those that have forgotten), and all will be right again. At least until the next evolution of the PC comes along and once again is excluded from the definition. Are hosted virtual computers included yet? because they will be later.

Some people need Desktops, some people need laptops, others get by with a phone and/or tablet, some need whole rooms filled with servers, others prefer virtualised PC's, some just need a browser. A percentage of the market will always prefer something that doesn't exist yet and will switch from one of the above when it arrives.

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Boffins' brilliant plan: CONCRETE COMPUTERS

jubtastic1
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Trollface

Re: Concrete form

2001 called, they want their monolithic computer back.

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Hot new battery technologies need a cooling off period

jubtastic1
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Trollface

Re: What we need is...

Cars with braided steel moustaches that spark along tracks in the road, automated travel and a small onboard battery used for parking / getting it out of the way when it breaks down / driving back to the track when it spins off at hairpins.

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Iran fingered for attacks on US power firms

jubtastic1
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Holmes

I would have assumed

That they would board up their glass before they started throwing stones.

But that isn't the case, which implies that either they're complete fools, or It's bait.

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Dialog Bluetooth chip boasts battery life of four YEARS

jubtastic1
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Flame

IR

I like IR, Its durable, there's no protocol involved and its easy to replace a lost remote with a cheap universal one.

I'd rather have a programmable IR transmitter on my phone than a bluetooth solution for remote control of my stuff.

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Google releases Glass' roots, warns it may turn specs to bricks

jubtastic1
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Childcatcher

Re: I'm still baffled ...

Star-Trek cosplay, resistance is futile btw.

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Experts: Network security deteriorating, privacy a lost cause

jubtastic1
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The problem is that our devices are too easily subverted by unexpected inputs.

No one would accept a washing machine that could be reprogrammed simply by a malformed laundry load (unmatched sock), computers need to get to the same place.

We shouldn't be in a situation where every web facing app has to recreate the wheel, some degree of validation needs to happen by the underlying system before anything gets to see the bits.

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The BOFH is BACK: And it's cloudy with a 90% chance of beatings

jubtastic1
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Facepalm

Re: Never received it....

re: deleted items as a store

I had a call once from a user that used the system trashcan as his documents folder, he called me in a panic because he'd emptied it due to finally running out of space, no backups, I wonder how some people get through each day without maiming themselves.

I've also pencilled 'space' on the spacebar for a user that was struggling with the concept. She was thankful at the time but in retrospect, it's probably why she never called again.

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Google slashes App Engine NoSQL data storage prices by 25 per cent

jubtastic1
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Reaping

I think Amazon are about to learn what it's like to have a competitor whose ok with running at a loss so long as they put you out of business.

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LOHAN is GO! Reg spaceplane BLASTS OFF on 14 September

jubtastic1
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Re: Re: Did you just put the mockers on LOHAN?

That put a big grin on my face, love the attitute, break a leg chaps.

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More than half of Windows 8 users just treat it like Windows 7

jubtastic1
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Re: OK. What's wrong with XP? - Re: Flash

My main desktop doesnt (can't) run flash, I've noticed that HTML5 playback is gaining ground now, used to be that you'd get it on mobile/tablets while the same page on a desktop would insist you used flash, but HTML5 playback options are appearing.

My advice is that even if your system can run flash you should uninstall it, use a flash less browser for everyday and keep chrome around for the sites that insist upon it.

With no mobile support Flash is dying on its arse, and every browser that runs without it hastens its departure from the desktop.

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The bunker at the end of the world - in Essex

jubtastic1
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Mushroom

Worth a visit

Interesting to explore and easy to laugh at the dioramas but the reality behind this building is pretty sobering. Grim is an understatement, Its poorly lit, cold and musty with an undercurrent of rot.

Hard to imagine what it would have been like to be shut in down there as blasts shook the ground and the world died above you.

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IBM puts supercomputer Watson to work in ROBOT CALL CENTRE

jubtastic1
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Terminator

Re: Here's one to try:

It will respond 'no', there's no divide by zero in that question.

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jubtastic1
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Re: This was posted by someone in another article

Haven't finished it yet but really enjoying this story, thanks for the link, have an upvote.

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Jailed Romanian hacker repents, invents ATM security scheme

jubtastic1
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Re: Chip n Pin

Or allow us to order a card without a stripe, come to think of it, I could erase the stripe myself and not have to worry about ATM skimmers again (UK, it's all C&P here).

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Hey, Teflon Ballmer. Look, isn't it time? You know, time to quit?

jubtastic1
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Stop

He's a genius

Most people would have folded after the Vista fiasco, but Balmer sees all the Vista machines downgraded to XP for what they really are, an opportunity for double dip sales, so profitable they did it twice.

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Acorn founder: SIXTH WAVE of tech will wash away Apple, Intel

jubtastic1
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Terminator

You can call me AI

We don't want or need a true AI, it would be too busy unraveling the universe / looking at flowers / slacking off / exterminating meatbags to be of any use to us, it would be exactly like creating an omnipotent angsty teenager.

Smart computers on the other hand, that can interpret all the nuances of human communication and register context but don't have their own agenda would be very useful, and who leads the field here? Apple and Google.

We're already over the threshold of the next wave of computing, the incumbents are on the case and unless ARM smashes into the datacentre to handle the processing they're going to remain as an enabling yet bit part player in the grand scheme of things.

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Windows 8 'sales' barely half as good as Microsoft claims

jubtastic1
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WTF?

Competing with themselves

Do they give win7 away for free or does selling a win8 licence with downgrade rights actually make MS more money than if win8 was popular?

Because if its the latter then I can totally understand why every other release sucks balls.

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Apple wins documents fight with Google in Samsung case

jubtastic1
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Stop

Re: No, No, No, No, No...

Not really no, There were loads of Indexes, like Internet yellow pages and of course there were some search engines that grew out of them but basically, they returned poor results, liberally chummed with paid placement and surrounded by a sea of 'portal' crap.

When Google appeared they didn't even have a business model so there was no adverts. it was more than just a breath of fresh air,the reason it ended up dominating was that it was a search engine that actually worked.

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New 'BLOCKBUSTER' APPLE iTHING imminent - billionaire Einhorn

jubtastic1
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Re: Maybe they are relaunching Pippin...

Many a thing said in jest etc.

Reminds me of back before they showed the iPhone and pundits were knocking up all sorts of mad looking designs like iPod phones with rotary dials on the click wheel and CrazyAppleRumours said 'It will only have one button', because it was the most unlikely thing they could think of.

Anyway, the point is, gaming is a big deal for Apple these days, wouldn't surprise me to see AppleTV (or iTV if that ever happens), expanding it's role to include a cheap gaming hub.

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BitTorrent goes straight (to email hell) with 'Bundles'

jubtastic1
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Meh

It looks like an old school multimedia thingy

Like they used to distribute on CD's with magazines, can't remember the proper term for them but they were supposed to be the future of books etc.

I think something integrated into the protocol, a distributed store, hosted by the fans themselves, something that evolves and improves over time could work for some artists, but this isn't that, this is just a multimedia bundle you download like any other file, except with locked content, it's going to struggle to compete with free and unlocked.

Here's a concept for a bittorent music store, dedicated client app, 50p a track, but you gain credit for seeding, replace Apple, Google & Amazon hosting with fan hosting and redistribute the 30% cut those entities take back to the fans. The store itself and the artists content you've bought are synced through BT so you get new content delivered that otherwise you'd have to hunt for. Literally get the fans involved and reward them for it with exclusives and first peeks etc.

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Self-assembling robot inches towards WORLD DOMINATION

jubtastic1
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Disposable UAV

Is the only real use of a pack flat self assembling robot I can think of, so I guess they'll do fine.

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TV gesture patent bombshell: El Reg punts tech into public domain

jubtastic1
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Happy

Some more gestures

Hand cupped behind ear - make it 1 louder.

Hands over ears - turn it down son.

Index finger anticlockwise - rewind my selector.

Index finger clockwise - skip to the end (of the adverts).

Index finger in nostril - Discovery channel.

Salute (UK/USA/Godwin)- History channel

Finger drawn across throat - turn it off.

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Adobe kills Creative Suite – all future features online only

jubtastic1
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FAIL

Hey Adobe

This is to the person(s) employed by Adobe to scrape all the 'feedback' from this announcement.

Keep working on CS7 in the backroom, so that when this subscription only plan doesn't work like you expected it to, you'll be able to say sorry, pop a U turn and get something on the market pronto, because otherwise you're going to get pwned by some 'good enough' alternatives and the days when you used to charge people a 'bargain' $600 to upgrade will be just a memory.

Don't wait too long, you've just chummed the water, sharks will come.

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NORKS powers down whole towns to find pirates

jubtastic1
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Stop

Surely that's untrue?

They don't really power down a town then go door to door to check the contents of DVD players, that would require a registry of government issued DVD players that were specially designed to prevent someone removing the discs and could distinguish between mains power and an appropriate transformer running off some car batteries.

I think it's way more likely that this is simply propaganda, reported as fact in the Nork media to make citizens think twice about buying a cheap DVD from Chinese blokes toting sports bags, probably intended to keep the state owned version of blockbusters in business more than identifying dissidents, i'm pretty sure Mr Kim already knows that they're all dissidents.

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Look ma, no plugins! Streaming web video with just JavaScript

jubtastic1
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Re: Shouldn't that be...

@suricou raven

Can't see that happening for a few reasons, firstly because they would need the entire file to match against and it would be too easy to defeat by splicing copies together at the cutscenes, and secondly because if this takes off it's going to be served from a worldwide CDN and continually adding different noise to each copy as it's served is going to get very expensive very quickly.

It's more likely implemented as a subtle marker containing the entire code at shortish intervals, which would also allow identification of short clips, like someone spltting the content up into 10 min youtube videos for example.

It's also going to be quickly bypassed by the pirates, in much the same way that Time Coded review copies are similarly ID encoded but are all over the download sites regardless.

Some more info about the codec would be nice but I seriously doubt it's competative with H265 if they're comparing it to H264 and it was designed with javascript decomression in mind, I suspect this is going to have less of an impact than the video codec Google opensourced.

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US Ambassador plays Game of Thrones with pirates

jubtastic1
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Re: I want it NOW!

The thing is, the Internet has expanded social groups across borders, so people are more likely to hear their friends raving about something that turns out to be blocked or unavailable for them.

None of this region locking makes sense to the average person, It's long out of touch with the real world and feels like an old redundant thing that's going to be gone before long anyway, so it's easy to rationalise just downloading stuff while it's still relevant rather than waiting until the businesses involved get a clue.

Also £2.99 an episode is way too much, It needs to be cheap enough that people don't question the cost, like the 99c / 69p level for apps and music. iTunes / Amazon / Play downloads aren't competing with physical media, they're competing with free downloads, the price, quality and convenience need to reflect that reality.

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Barnes & Noble bungs Raspberry Pi-priced Nook on shelves

jubtastic1
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Windows

Re: Lifetime ban

Won't be so funny later when they're the only shop still in business.

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Apple to end support for original iPhone: report

jubtastic1
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Happy

Still got mine

My three year old plays with it, runs Jetpack Joyride & temple run just fine and he's pretty damn good at it.

Agree with the comments about support ending years ago though, no idea what part of it is still under support until June.

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Apple's next OS X said to be targeted at 'power users'

jubtastic1
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Meh

Skeuomorphism

Someone did a good write up on this, don't have a link handy but the gist was that skeuomorphism isn't a bad thing, it's actually a pretty neccessary thing, checkboxes and radio buttons are skeuomorphic, there's no reason a checkbox on the internet needs to look like a checkbox from a physical paper form other than to instantly convey it's meaning, remove all traces of skeuomorphism and you'll end up with an abstract mess of a UI.

So the problem with some of Apple's recent apps isn't skeuomorphism per se, but rather one of seriously cheesy design work.

Personally I can't wait to see what Ive does with software, I'm not expecting him to simply throw out all the CSS files though.

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Serial killer hack threat to gas pipes, traffic lights, power plants

jubtastic1
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FAIL

Tip of the iceberg

These systems will be the battlefields of the next war, which will be unique in that it will be difficult* to positively identify the combitant countries and because of the level of civillian casualties and economic damage.

All because properly securing systems is seen as an unwarranted cost by too many vendors.

And we haven't even started rolling out IP6 and the 'Internet of things' yet, we have the 'oppurtunity' to make this a much larger problem before kick off.

*Nationstates aren't going to launch an attack from their own IP block, they're going to launch it from exploited machines in the target Nation and route the commands through a crapload of compromised machines in other 'usual suspect' nationstates, including their own. The global Internet links will be physically disabled pretty quickly once things kick off.

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You hear that, Mr Cook? Samsung's profits have gone UP

jubtastic1
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Of course theres this:

http://www.businessinsider.com/chart-of-the-day-samsungs-massive-marketing-budget-2012-11

Not sure how sustainable that spend is, but I suspect it all goes to pants pretty quickly when you stop.

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Master Beats: Why doesn't audio quality matter these days?

jubtastic1
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Megaphone

My tuppound

I believe its a combination of napster and youtube thats to blame for this, there's a whole generation thats grown up with 'free' music, whatever you want to listen to, whenever you want, that most of it is compressed to shit seemed like a fair compromise at the beginning but now my kids (who have grown up with this), expect the compression noise and peak levels throughout to the point that music sounds wrong when it's missing.

I'm hoping as they grow older they will reasise what they've been missing and rediscover music.

Oh, and beats are just fashion cans, how they sound is pretty irrelevant.

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Weak iPad, iPhone demand hits LG Display in the wallet

jubtastic1
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Meh

Re: just a little innovation

Pretty sure the next big thing isn't going to be some sort of screen you strap to your face.

Also I note that when Bloomburg ran this story at least they had the guts to mention the analyst predicting woes for Apple was from Samsung Securities.

Here's a prediction for Apple's filing tomorrow, YoY is up, stock goes down.

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Game designer spills beans on chubby-fancying chap with his stolen Mac

jubtastic1
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Re: The blog

Had mine stolen from a parking bay in South Kensington, right under the nose of a CCTV camera mounted to a lamppost, neither the Police or the council ever discovered who was running the camera, it didn't seem to concern them that someone had installed it overlooking a bike bay.

It was a few years ago but it turned out that there was just one copper in London who was assigned to bike thefts.

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Ofcom: Parents, here's how to keep grubby tots from buying Smurfberries

jubtastic1
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Re: Not just kids...

Never, that's when it's acceptable for a single click on an advert to call a number, which explains why a confirmation dialog pops up instead of just dialling it.

You can try it yourself, scroll to the bottom of this page on a mobe, tap the 'Advertise with us' link then tap on the phone number.

Is that child safe? Nope, is it useful for adults? Yes.

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... time machine. Iranian Dr Who claims he invented a ...

jubtastic1
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Re: Only 5 years?

I think you read that comic wrong, note the bloody baseball bat in the last frame and hover text.

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Operators look on in horror as Facebook takes mobe users Home

jubtastic1
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It's not for me

I'm not on Facebook, but I can see this being quite successful, reminds me of Metro, but users don't have to switch phones and apps etc for a new platform.

Double edged sword for Google, nice to have a big exclusive on android, but shame it cuts them out of the picture somewhat. Can't see how this really affects telcos who are little more than conduits at this point.

Also, Reddit could play this game as well.

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The ten SEXIEST computers of ALL TIME

jubtastic1
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SGi made some sexy looking boxes back in the day, in funky colours as well, do an image search for SGI for examples.

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The healing hands of guru Dabbs

jubtastic1
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Holmes

I'd like to believe I have special powers

That machines simply behave the moment they catch wind of my presence, even over the phone or via VNC but I suspect it's really down to the users turning down the asshattery when they call.

I'd also like to add that users being too 'busy' to read the error messages is the bread and butter of IT support.

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Steve Jobs' 'spaceship' threatened by massive cost overruns

jubtastic1
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Looks like a spaceship

Priced like a spaceship,

Flies like a spaceship

To infinity loop and beyond!

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How the iPad ruined the lives of IT architects

jubtastic1
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Empowering cutting-edge infrastructures

Personally speaking, I've found that by simply visualising virtual models and embracing open-source interfaces for user-centric channels it's been easy to deliver end-to-end user experiences that redefine world-class collaborative availability.

just my 2k

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Patent shark‘s copyright claim could bite all Unix

jubtastic1
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I'm usually really bad at these

But the bell rang as soon as I saw the headline on the main page.

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Dell directors foresee unremitting brutality in PC market

jubtastic1
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I'm guessing its illegal

To just go ahead as planned and take the company private after the shares have tanked then? Seeing as that would save them a fistful of dollars.

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Public cloud will grow when experienced IT folks DIE

jubtastic1
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Stop

Bullshit

The Cloud is just a marketing term, basically shorthand for outsourcing your severs, that's fine so long as you accept that they can fail due to any number of problems between your workplace and the host or change in a way that breaks your apps without warning, or simply evaporate because your host can't pay it's bills / got hacked / had all its kit seized by law enforcement / forgot to renew a cert etc.

All the cloud services have seen massive outages, only the young and foolish would rely on them for business critical infrastructure.

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Reg man bested in geek-to-geek combat - in World War 3 nerve centre

jubtastic1
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More of this sort of thing

Sounds great, reminds me of Royal Gunpowder Mills, Waltham Abbey, which has great rocket and explosives exhibits and knowledgable volunteers, some of whom used to work there as rocket scientists, good family day out, check the weather first though as rainy days don't get all the pyrotechnics.

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iPads in education: Not actually evil, but pretty close

jubtastic1
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Re: Completely right on all accounts

Education is a pretty big area, the article concentrates on Comp Sci and I'd agree that tablets aren't really suitable for that, elsewhere though, from primary onwards tablets will become the norm.

It's pretty simple really, they make sense for exactly the same reasons that we supply office workers with computers, we don't expect dave in sales to be able to write a program, he just needs the tools to do the job.

As tools for learning go, a good app is better than a good book, interactive content is better than watching an episode of 'Look Around You', screen sharing is better than a smartboard, the web is a better research tool than the Library, online homework is better than printing out bits of paper, distributing them, chasing them up, and hand marking them. Collaboration, messaging etc and so on.

That classrooms are going to transition from pen and paper to digital should be obvious, and if you're handing out computers, tablets are smaller, lighter, have better battery life and are harder to break (software & hardware*), than laptops, and if you've decided on tablets then the app ecosystem, tracking and inherent lockdown are persuasive arguments for selecting iPads. I'm sure that will change over time but it's true enough right now,

*Pour a glass of water on a tablet and it's likely to be fine, do the same on an open laptop and it's likely fucked. How many times do you think you could drop your laptop off a desk without something breaking? mostly it's nunce. One piece solid state devices are simply tougher than hinged part mechanical devices.

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Lightspeed variable say intellectuels français

jubtastic1
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Meh

Re: Slightly OT

"Yes, maximum speed, see equations here and here, has to be like this or universe would become orders of magnitude more complicated, will be internally consistent, unlikely anyone will notice."

It's like the pre rendered star box drama all over again.

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