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* Posts by jubtastic1

963 posts • joined 11 May 2006

Apple will not kill iPad 2 at iPad 3 debut

jubtastic1
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Because its only 9"

Which is way easier to do than 15", and they paid up front for the factory to make them, and because resolution independence isn't widely* supported by operating systems and Applications.

* Windows has better support for RI than Mac, but there is still loads of unaware software that's going to render as a postage stamp on a high res display.

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jubtastic1
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Holmes

Called this last year

Not that it's not obvious, as should be the iPad3 selling at current pricing, leaving the iPad2 as a 'budget' tablet, $399 seems likely, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was lower.

Basically the same strategy that's working so well with the iPhone, I think they're quite determined to remain the number one player in this market.

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Virgin Media to push out nimble new broadband speeds

jubtastic1
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Any word on the upstream?

Can I expect 5+ Mbps after the upgrade to 60? Because that would be damn useful.

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Official: The smartphones that suck much more than others

jubtastic1
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It's off by default

And most users will never look for or find the switch.

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Rhino horn price spike drives record poaching

jubtastic1
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Cant we use science?

Couldn't we clone Rhino horn and flood the black market with it? It's not like cloned horn will be any less effective medicine or distinguishable from real horn, dump enough on the market and the price will drop till its not worth the bother to go out and kill a real animal.

Are you listening boffins? Forget the sheep, the big eared mice and the six arsed monkeys, clone something worthwhile for a change.

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Stephen Hawking seeks geek to maintain his unique wheelchair

jubtastic1
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Trollface

I already snagged this gig

Upgraded the chair with remote control and text to speech, this allows me to manoeuvre Stephen and even speak for him when he's tired, he's very pleased with this arrangement and also wanted you to know that he's now available for paid promotional events, please contact me directly for pricing.

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Latest El Reg project: Rise of the Robot Sheep

jubtastic1
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Clippings

Emptying into a compost heap seems like it could get complicated, but how about interchangeable hoppers so it could simply drop one off when its full and pick up another, leaving the owner to empty the hoppers. These coud be combined into a drive through charging dock/kennel.

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Facebook shoves your face into creepy 'sponsored stories' in 2012

jubtastic1
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They're greedy

Or they're not covering their costs, either way this isn't going to end well.

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Jedi light-sabre beats Taser in Oregon parking-lot fracas

jubtastic1
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Trollface

To be fair

The cops had no way of knowing it wasn't a real lightsaber.

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NAS door gives drag-n-drop access to linear tape vault

jubtastic1
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WTF?

RIS?

If they're selling the storage based on a 29K average file size how on earth is a backend tape library supposed to get to the last 14K before a disk has served the first 15K?

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Happy birthday, Apple QuickTime

jubtastic1
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Memory a bit hazy

But one of the things that blew me away about the Be OS demo In the early ninties was full motion video, 4 of them no less, mapped onto an interactive 3D model of a book. It made QuickTime look frankly pathetic.

Also, 5 second boot times, that was pretty awesome as well, part of me wishes Apple had picked JLG over Jobs.

Oh, and happy birthday QT

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Lord British: Games consoles 'fundamentally doomed'

jubtastic1
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Consoles will be just fine

Right up to the point when SDSL gigabit is the norm, then they won't be able to compete with the pace and convinience of online game engines pouring the visuals to any screen you have to hand.

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Siri gets Android rival as Cluzee goes live

jubtastic1
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Trollface

Thanks Matthew

I was thinking of trying it for myself, but if you say the whole concept is pants that's good enough for me.

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Supply snitches: 4in iPhone 5 screens shipping now

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First third-party app to get Siri support demo'd

jubtastic1
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Been here before

Last time it was 'no native apps' then came the SDK and well, things worked out quite well.

I expect Siri API's will be available before Apple brings it out of beta, it is the future after all, dontcha know. In the meantime, i expect apple will attempt to block this sort of thing.

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Rogue Russian Mars probe communicates - but in gibberish

jubtastic1
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Flame

alt.missions

I think they'll spend a week or so reviewing the many possible alternate destinations, but will settle on a daring mission to the depths of the Pacific.

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Apple eyes set on Sharp IGZO tech for iPad 3 screen

jubtastic1
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Holmes

Yes

IPad 3, thinner, faster, retina, camera upgrade, for the same money as existing iPads, and 2+ versions of the iPad2 at a discount.

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Engineers seek funds for world’s largest Tesla coil

jubtastic1
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I was under the impression

That there never was anything unworkable about Tesla's wireless power station, apart from the charging people money bit, given there's no way to disconnect a user, or know how much power they are drawing.

Still good to see a project like this being built though.

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'Nervous' London bankers run mock cyberattack exercise

jubtastic1
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Can't see this working out

I'd imagine the prospect of your competitors pretending to have serious coms issues presents some interesting opportunities for profit, this will play out like the prisoners dilemma.

Fully expect a "systems and coms surprisingly resilient" conclusion.

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Russian Mars probe heads into space WITHOUT ENGINES

jubtastic1
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Mushroom

That would rule out solar panel wings then

Like that was ever likely, so looks like its just getting lighter, leaving a trail of fuel behind it as it rises into space, let's hope John McClane doesn't get careless with his zippo.

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Coder creates Siri proxy

jubtastic1
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FAIL

This won't end well

It's a private service, purchased/developed/operated solely as a selling point for their latest hardware, by a company with well funded, and dare I say, eager legal teams.

This hack makes Siri look easy in the same way that cracking your neighbours wifi network makes broadband look easy, it ignores all the hard stuff that someone else had to build and continues to pay for.

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Microsoft seeks patent on employee spy system

jubtastic1
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Big Brother

Freedom is Slavery

"While he was lost in his thoughts, Winston’s body had been performing the exercises routinely. Now he is suddenly startled out of his reverie by the instructress from the telescreen addressing him directly. Shouting at him as “6079 Smith W” the woman tells him to pay more attention and recalls him to the regimented present where each man is a coded number and the telescreens spy on every activity."

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Second water utility reportedly hit by hack attack

jubtastic1
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No image match on tineye

Just searched for it, no results from 2 billion images, not conclusive of course but it really wouldn't surprise me to discover these systems are wide open.

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DARPA boffins develop unfeasibly light metal fluff-structure

jubtastic1
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Looks like iit might find a use as exhaust baffle

Assuming it has some sound absorption and provides thermal insulation, I can see this going into race cans.

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Google opens Android music store in iTunes' face

jubtastic1
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Go

The most interesting part

Is the bit about artists selling directly, this seems like it could be very disruptive to the established industry. I can see Apple adding this if they can do so without the labels cutting them off, and google adding a match service, because uploading hundreds of gigabytes of data just isn't funny over consumer broadband.

We're getting a little closer to a flat rate all you can eat service with every new music store that launches, which is nice.

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Swearing doesn’t help pain if you do it too much

jubtastic1
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Boffin

Fiddlesticks

Just even it out by applying a matching injury to your other thumb, it's a well established fact that symmetrical pain signals cancel each other out.

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Huge potentially inhabited water lake found on Jupiter moon

jubtastic1
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Trollface

Has anyone mentioned 2010 yet?

Can't remember the quote, was something about EUROPA though.

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Logitech CEO: Google TV a 'gigantic mistake'

jubtastic1
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Somewhat related

Watched 'Top Boy' on 4OD this week, a heavily advertised show, there's even billboards up for it, but all the in show advertising was for channel 4 shows.

This seems quite common in my experience, and I'd suggest it indicates that advertisers don't perceive On Demand audiences as something worth paying for, so it doesn't surprise me that content owners aren't falling over themselves to put everything they own on these services.

The problem with these products isn't just that they don't make anyone any money, they also depress earnings on the existing revenue streams.

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Bloke gets wedding tackle trapped in ring

jubtastic1
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IT Angle

Angle grinder?

I thought they already used reciprocating saws in medicine that are designed to not cut soft materials, using an angle grinder seems like the proverbial sledgehammer to crack a nut.

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Apple applies to patent a SIM you can't remove

jubtastic1
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Thumb Up

@Obviously!

"Bodies?" said the Captain again.

Ford licked his lips.

"Yes," he said, "All those dead telephone sanitizers and account executives, you know, down in the hold."

The Captain stared at him. Suddenly he threw back his head and laughed.

"Oh they're not dead," he said, "Good Lord no, no they're frozen. They're going to be revived."

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jubtastic1
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@McWibble

Well Skype won't do, mobile data networks are still way to flakey to rely on. I'd love to have google voice here in the UK, but even that is still going to require a SIM that before you know it will be so small youll need tweezers to install it.

Talk of the devil, this just in: http://www.gi-de.com/en/about_g_d/press/press_releases/G%26D-Presents-World’s-First-Nano-SIM-Card-g17024.jsp

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jubtastic1
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Go

I've had lots of SIM's, in all shapes and sizes

To fit the countless phones I've owned on various networks over the years. The only thing I've kept over the decades is my phone number, and some people dont seem to care about keeping even that.

Call me an idealist, but I always thought the future would be about signing in to a different phone and my number and stuff would be waiting for me, rather than fucking around with ever smaller bits of plastic.

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Apple's iPad not so shiny once you get it home

jubtastic1
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I know, married IT worker, how can that be?

She's not mail order either, I'm one in a million me.

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jubtastic1
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@LarsG

FFS, IF I'D KNOWN YOU COULD GET AN IPAD ON BENEFITS I'D HAVE JACKED THIS STUPID JOB IN AGES AGO, CAN YOU TELL ME YOUR SECRETS FOR BENEFIT SUCCESS?

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jubtastic1
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Happy

Use mine all day long

Even when I'm using my desktop or laptop, the iPad sits next to the keyboard, when I surf on something else I instinctively try and double tap to zoom in on the content, which is a bit annoying when it doesn't happen.

In order of usage: surfing (research & recreation), email, Plex (films), games, books, music, ssh, VNC & system monitoring. Best gizmo I've ever owned, wife hates it.

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Amazon's Kindle Fire burns iPad momentum

jubtastic1
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Go

It will be a hit

I've no doubt Amazon has the chops to pull this off, and it's definitely going to impact iPad sales, but it's going to destroy the rest of the Android tablet market before it even gets going, not only is Amazon in the rare position of being able to subsidise their tablets with content sales, but they're going to reap economies of scale benefits as well.

3 years from now the tablet market will be pretty much just Apple, Amazon and Microsoft.

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Adobe confirms mobile Flash Player's race is run

jubtastic1
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Thumb Up

Some people are on the pitch! They think it's all over!

It is now!

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Production electric motorcycle breaks 100 mile range

jubtastic1
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Re: Fake noise

For some reason this doesnt seem to be happening, Had a chat with an electric courier van driver a while ago, he mentioned that none of them like taking out the electric vans because pedestrians keep walking out in front of them.

Mind you one time while waiting at some lights to pull onto the strand a yank ambled over and asked what batteries my old NC35 ran on, was never sure if he was taking the piss or genuinly thought it was too quiet for a motor at tickover, sang a sweet tune at 15k revs though.

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jubtastic1
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Unhappy

@BonesOz

Didnt give up, just couldn't afford the insurance when Ethan came along and made us six.

Baby forces sale, mint CBR66RR, will px for bastard people carrier.

I'll ride again.

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jubtastic1
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Re: ride it like a bicycle

Excelent advice, except that people get knocked off push bikes every hour of the day, and the whole going fast when it happens thing.

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jubtastic1
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Pirate

Hmm

Seems like its really only suited to city riding, where you have almost zero chance of getting stuck with a flat battery, wonder if the dash has a 'point of no return' idiot light?

That aside, as a veteran rider of London town, i reckon a silent motorbike will guarantee its rider a first class ambulance ride in short order.

It may be a cliché but Loud pipes really do save lives.

Fuck I miss my bike, stupid procreation.

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Pay-by-wave: At least it's better than being mugged

jubtastic1
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WTF?

So what you're basically saying

Is that we're very likely to be robbed every time we step on the underground, but don't worry because the Banks have our backs?

Is there such a thing as a Faraday wallet?

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Only Samsung will challenge Apple's iPad in 2012

jubtastic1
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FAIL

Doesnt seem likely

For one thing, there's no mention of Amazon, who as far as I can tell is the only other player with the content and backend systems required to compete, Secondly, they're basically predicting Apple's sales to be pretty much the same in 2012 as 2011, which would seem pretty unlikely even if they weren't going to release an ipad 3 in four months or so.

I think 2012 will see an erosion of the iPad share due to the Fire & Nook, maybe Microsoft will get in there as well but they're more likely to roll up in 2013, Xbox integration and the Metro UI (stunning job that, never thought I'd praise a MS UI), plus the fact that they own at syncng, should make it easy for them to become a player in this market, even late in the day.

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The Register Guide on how to stay anonymous (part 2)

jubtastic1
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The man talks sense

Most users never use Java apps, there's no sense in leaving it on, better to disable it and deal with the edge cases when someone actually needs it.

My SOP is to disable Java, Flash, auto fill and PDF plugins, most of the web works just fine sans flash since iOS support became a big deal, and in the cases where only flash will do, it's built into googles chrome browser which keeps it up to date without user intervention.

On a different yet related note, a good few years ago I knocked up a script that encoded a users IP and forum ID into the reply button jpeg on a MMOG forum, this enabled us to identify who was leaking screen grabs from private areas of the forum. /misspent youth.

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Apple expels serial hacker for publishing iPhone exploit

jubtastic1
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FAIL

Doh

He published malware onto the appstore, which has almost certainly been downloaded by users given its been up there for over a month, has been testing live payloads, and he's surprised they pulled his account?

Critical thinking fail.

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Kaspersky defends 'unworkable' web passports

jubtastic1
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Stop

All your base

Its not about whether it will work or not (it won't, for fairly obvious reasons), it's about an Industry with an uncertain future*, creating a new profit centre that's so irresistible to the omnipotent ambitions of western governments, they're likely to make it mandatory.

To paraphrase the BOFH, you can't help but admire the sheer balls of it.

* that would be the AV industry, Android offers sales for them in the short term, but the trend on OS X and Windows is about locking everything down to such a degree that AV products can do little more than check themselves for infection, in the long term, I'd expect Amazon to essentially fork Android to provide a similar 'safe' experience**.

** for a given value of 'safe'.

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Colossal dead black neo-sphere approaching Earth

jubtastic1
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Happy

Theres a NASA animation of it crossing the moons orbit

Looks a little like one of those slow motion bullet films, I think it's fair to say that if it collided with us it would be game over man.

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Natwest net and phone banking goes titsup

jubtastic1
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Holmes

Banks offline, SSL cert authorities pawned, RSA encryption seeds stolen, Military defence contractors burgled, nuclear reactors sabotaged, something new and exciting every day.

Script kiddies, organised crime and governmental hacks all blurred together, exploiting networks and systems that were designed for utility rather than security.

This will end badly.

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Mars probe crippled by buggy SSD successfully jury-rigged

jubtastic1
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This is an educated guess

I would imagine in normal operations the craft is orientated with sensors towards the planet, like the moon or a coms sat for instance, so the solar array would still receive sunlight for periods of the day but would be at acute angles for most of the subside orbit. Safe mode I would guess sets the satalite in a tumble* so that the panels are always facing the sun while the instruments peer into space, planet, space, planet and so on.

*Technically, in normal operations the satellite revolves around its axes, to keep the planet in view as it free falls round it, while in safe mode it stops revolving, which to an observer would look like its tumbling.

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Swiss boffins produce working cloth made of GOLD

jubtastic1
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Thumb Up

May I suggest

Gold plated diapers.

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