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* Posts by jubtastic1

944 posts • joined 11 May 2006

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Russian Mars probe heads into space WITHOUT ENGINES

jubtastic1
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Mushroom

That would rule out solar panel wings then

Like that was ever likely, so looks like its just getting lighter, leaving a trail of fuel behind it as it rises into space, let's hope John McClane doesn't get careless with his zippo.

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Coder creates Siri proxy

jubtastic1
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FAIL

This won't end well

It's a private service, purchased/developed/operated solely as a selling point for their latest hardware, by a company with well funded, and dare I say, eager legal teams.

This hack makes Siri look easy in the same way that cracking your neighbours wifi network makes broadband look easy, it ignores all the hard stuff that someone else had to build and continues to pay for.

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Microsoft seeks patent on employee spy system

jubtastic1
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Big Brother

Freedom is Slavery

"While he was lost in his thoughts, Winston’s body had been performing the exercises routinely. Now he is suddenly startled out of his reverie by the instructress from the telescreen addressing him directly. Shouting at him as “6079 Smith W” the woman tells him to pay more attention and recalls him to the regimented present where each man is a coded number and the telescreens spy on every activity."

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Second water utility reportedly hit by hack attack

jubtastic1
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No image match on tineye

Just searched for it, no results from 2 billion images, not conclusive of course but it really wouldn't surprise me to discover these systems are wide open.

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DARPA boffins develop unfeasibly light metal fluff-structure

jubtastic1
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Looks like iit might find a use as exhaust baffle

Assuming it has some sound absorption and provides thermal insulation, I can see this going into race cans.

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Google opens Android music store in iTunes' face

jubtastic1
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Go

The most interesting part

Is the bit about artists selling directly, this seems like it could be very disruptive to the established industry. I can see Apple adding this if they can do so without the labels cutting them off, and google adding a match service, because uploading hundreds of gigabytes of data just isn't funny over consumer broadband.

We're getting a little closer to a flat rate all you can eat service with every new music store that launches, which is nice.

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Swearing doesn’t help pain if you do it too much

jubtastic1
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Boffin

Fiddlesticks

Just even it out by applying a matching injury to your other thumb, it's a well established fact that symmetrical pain signals cancel each other out.

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Huge potentially inhabited water lake found on Jupiter moon

jubtastic1
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Trollface

Has anyone mentioned 2010 yet?

Can't remember the quote, was something about EUROPA though.

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Logitech CEO: Google TV a 'gigantic mistake'

jubtastic1
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Somewhat related

Watched 'Top Boy' on 4OD this week, a heavily advertised show, there's even billboards up for it, but all the in show advertising was for channel 4 shows.

This seems quite common in my experience, and I'd suggest it indicates that advertisers don't perceive On Demand audiences as something worth paying for, so it doesn't surprise me that content owners aren't falling over themselves to put everything they own on these services.

The problem with these products isn't just that they don't make anyone any money, they also depress earnings on the existing revenue streams.

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Bloke gets wedding tackle trapped in ring

jubtastic1
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IT Angle

Angle grinder?

I thought they already used reciprocating saws in medicine that are designed to not cut soft materials, using an angle grinder seems like the proverbial sledgehammer to crack a nut.

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Apple applies to patent a SIM you can't remove

jubtastic1
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Thumb Up

@Obviously!

"Bodies?" said the Captain again.

Ford licked his lips.

"Yes," he said, "All those dead telephone sanitizers and account executives, you know, down in the hold."

The Captain stared at him. Suddenly he threw back his head and laughed.

"Oh they're not dead," he said, "Good Lord no, no they're frozen. They're going to be revived."

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jubtastic1
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@McWibble

Well Skype won't do, mobile data networks are still way to flakey to rely on. I'd love to have google voice here in the UK, but even that is still going to require a SIM that before you know it will be so small youll need tweezers to install it.

Talk of the devil, this just in: http://www.gi-de.com/en/about_g_d/press/press_releases/G%26D-Presents-World’s-First-Nano-SIM-Card-g17024.jsp

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jubtastic1
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Go

I've had lots of SIM's, in all shapes and sizes

To fit the countless phones I've owned on various networks over the years. The only thing I've kept over the decades is my phone number, and some people dont seem to care about keeping even that.

Call me an idealist, but I always thought the future would be about signing in to a different phone and my number and stuff would be waiting for me, rather than fucking around with ever smaller bits of plastic.

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Apple's iPad not so shiny once you get it home

jubtastic1
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I know, married IT worker, how can that be?

She's not mail order either, I'm one in a million me.

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jubtastic1
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@LarsG

FFS, IF I'D KNOWN YOU COULD GET AN IPAD ON BENEFITS I'D HAVE JACKED THIS STUPID JOB IN AGES AGO, CAN YOU TELL ME YOUR SECRETS FOR BENEFIT SUCCESS?

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jubtastic1
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Happy

Use mine all day long

Even when I'm using my desktop or laptop, the iPad sits next to the keyboard, when I surf on something else I instinctively try and double tap to zoom in on the content, which is a bit annoying when it doesn't happen.

In order of usage: surfing (research & recreation), email, Plex (films), games, books, music, ssh, VNC & system monitoring. Best gizmo I've ever owned, wife hates it.

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Amazon's Kindle Fire burns iPad momentum

jubtastic1
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Go

It will be a hit

I've no doubt Amazon has the chops to pull this off, and it's definitely going to impact iPad sales, but it's going to destroy the rest of the Android tablet market before it even gets going, not only is Amazon in the rare position of being able to subsidise their tablets with content sales, but they're going to reap economies of scale benefits as well.

3 years from now the tablet market will be pretty much just Apple, Amazon and Microsoft.

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Adobe confirms mobile Flash Player's race is run

jubtastic1
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Some people are on the pitch! They think it's all over!

It is now!

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Production electric motorcycle breaks 100 mile range

jubtastic1
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Re: Fake noise

For some reason this doesnt seem to be happening, Had a chat with an electric courier van driver a while ago, he mentioned that none of them like taking out the electric vans because pedestrians keep walking out in front of them.

Mind you one time while waiting at some lights to pull onto the strand a yank ambled over and asked what batteries my old NC35 ran on, was never sure if he was taking the piss or genuinly thought it was too quiet for a motor at tickover, sang a sweet tune at 15k revs though.

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jubtastic1
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Unhappy

@BonesOz

Didnt give up, just couldn't afford the insurance when Ethan came along and made us six.

Baby forces sale, mint CBR66RR, will px for bastard people carrier.

I'll ride again.

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jubtastic1
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Re: ride it like a bicycle

Excelent advice, except that people get knocked off push bikes every hour of the day, and the whole going fast when it happens thing.

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jubtastic1
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Pirate

Hmm

Seems like its really only suited to city riding, where you have almost zero chance of getting stuck with a flat battery, wonder if the dash has a 'point of no return' idiot light?

That aside, as a veteran rider of London town, i reckon a silent motorbike will guarantee its rider a first class ambulance ride in short order.

It may be a cliché but Loud pipes really do save lives.

Fuck I miss my bike, stupid procreation.

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Pay-by-wave: At least it's better than being mugged

jubtastic1
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WTF?

So what you're basically saying

Is that we're very likely to be robbed every time we step on the underground, but don't worry because the Banks have our backs?

Is there such a thing as a Faraday wallet?

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Only Samsung will challenge Apple's iPad in 2012

jubtastic1
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FAIL

Doesnt seem likely

For one thing, there's no mention of Amazon, who as far as I can tell is the only other player with the content and backend systems required to compete, Secondly, they're basically predicting Apple's sales to be pretty much the same in 2012 as 2011, which would seem pretty unlikely even if they weren't going to release an ipad 3 in four months or so.

I think 2012 will see an erosion of the iPad share due to the Fire & Nook, maybe Microsoft will get in there as well but they're more likely to roll up in 2013, Xbox integration and the Metro UI (stunning job that, never thought I'd praise a MS UI), plus the fact that they own at syncng, should make it easy for them to become a player in this market, even late in the day.

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The Register Guide on how to stay anonymous (part 2)

jubtastic1
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The man talks sense

Most users never use Java apps, there's no sense in leaving it on, better to disable it and deal with the edge cases when someone actually needs it.

My SOP is to disable Java, Flash, auto fill and PDF plugins, most of the web works just fine sans flash since iOS support became a big deal, and in the cases where only flash will do, it's built into googles chrome browser which keeps it up to date without user intervention.

On a different yet related note, a good few years ago I knocked up a script that encoded a users IP and forum ID into the reply button jpeg on a MMOG forum, this enabled us to identify who was leaking screen grabs from private areas of the forum. /misspent youth.

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Apple expels serial hacker for publishing iPhone exploit

jubtastic1
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FAIL

Doh

He published malware onto the appstore, which has almost certainly been downloaded by users given its been up there for over a month, has been testing live payloads, and he's surprised they pulled his account?

Critical thinking fail.

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Kaspersky defends 'unworkable' web passports

jubtastic1
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Stop

All your base

Its not about whether it will work or not (it won't, for fairly obvious reasons), it's about an Industry with an uncertain future*, creating a new profit centre that's so irresistible to the omnipotent ambitions of western governments, they're likely to make it mandatory.

To paraphrase the BOFH, you can't help but admire the sheer balls of it.

* that would be the AV industry, Android offers sales for them in the short term, but the trend on OS X and Windows is about locking everything down to such a degree that AV products can do little more than check themselves for infection, in the long term, I'd expect Amazon to essentially fork Android to provide a similar 'safe' experience**.

** for a given value of 'safe'.

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Colossal dead black neo-sphere approaching Earth

jubtastic1
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Happy

Theres a NASA animation of it crossing the moons orbit

Looks a little like one of those slow motion bullet films, I think it's fair to say that if it collided with us it would be game over man.

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Natwest net and phone banking goes titsup

jubtastic1
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Holmes

Banks offline, SSL cert authorities pawned, RSA encryption seeds stolen, Military defence contractors burgled, nuclear reactors sabotaged, something new and exciting every day.

Script kiddies, organised crime and governmental hacks all blurred together, exploiting networks and systems that were designed for utility rather than security.

This will end badly.

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Mars probe crippled by buggy SSD successfully jury-rigged

jubtastic1
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This is an educated guess

I would imagine in normal operations the craft is orientated with sensors towards the planet, like the moon or a coms sat for instance, so the solar array would still receive sunlight for periods of the day but would be at acute angles for most of the subside orbit. Safe mode I would guess sets the satalite in a tumble* so that the panels are always facing the sun while the instruments peer into space, planet, space, planet and so on.

*Technically, in normal operations the satellite revolves around its axes, to keep the planet in view as it free falls round it, while in safe mode it stops revolving, which to an observer would look like its tumbling.

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Swiss boffins produce working cloth made of GOLD

jubtastic1
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May I suggest

Gold plated diapers.

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Bill Gates strangled Microsoft's 'tablet for creatives'

jubtastic1
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Can't believe how few people notice that gadgets in MS concept videos are imbued with mind reading abilities, between a fantasy UI and reports about the hardware being prototyped in pieces, it's pretty clear that W8 was easily going to beat this concept to production.

There's also a lot of people here saying "how hard would it have been to put email on it", way to miss the point, if these stories are to be believed, it had already been in development for 5 years, when BG asks how it does email and they guy replies that it doesn't yet, Bill isn't going to be thinking "well that's not hard to add", he's thinking "these guys don't have a fucking clue".

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Wooden Mars ark voyagers set to step out on Earth

jubtastic1
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WTF?

If all they tested was the psychological effects

Then that was a colossal waste of time and money, because that test environment is literally 250miles away from the kind of instant death scenarios the real ship's crew will operate under and the test subjects would have been well aware of that fact.

You might as well argue that people are psychologically prepared for living on a 1m squared platform at the top of a 20m pole because your test subject survived balancing on a pallet for a month.

Pop a crew in a submersible and drop them down the Mariana trench and I'll bet a few heads get broken long before 5 months go by.

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Anonymous threatens Mexican drug cartel

jubtastic1
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Mushroom

The times, they are a changing

Seems like every day one story suggests the world is sliding into anarchy while another story documents the lock step towards big brother. Hard to believe this feedback cycle is going to end well.

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Apple shouldn't bother with TV...

jubtastic1
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Target Audience

You Are Not It.

The reason Apple sells so well is because they make beautiful hardware combined with UI's that don't require the user to be technically minded to use.

It turns out that the majority of consumers don't want to have to read a manual to use something, they're not curious about what the button with the weird icon does, they never explore menus looking for buried treasure, they just want a hassle free experience, to feel in control of the thing, they hate the idea that they might screw the thing up by pressing the wrong button.

I think improving TV for joe public is something Apple would excel at, but it all hinges on the content, and sans Jobs, I'm not sure Apple could pull off the deals required to make it possible. Which would be a shame, because where Apple ventures everyone else follows.

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5 SECONDS to bypass an iPad 2 password

jubtastic1
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Just tested this

4 finger swipes don't work, so you're limited to whatever the active app was when you locked it.

I'd expect an OTA patch for this fairly promptly.

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Linehan turns IT Crowd off but NOT on again

jubtastic1
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Unhappy

Somewhere in the last series,

The Magic smoke escaped.

Will skip anything involving CAS thanks.

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Boffins insert 3D objects into any old photo... realistically

jubtastic1
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Trollface

FAKE!!!!

This is an obvious photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadows are all wrong.

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Jobs: 'I'll spend my dying breath destroying Android'

jubtastic1
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Almost every thing you just said is true

Android was in development (publicly), prior to 2007, and Google did buy the company, but prior to the iPhone launch Android was an obvious blackberry rip, top half screen, bottom half keyboard, the interface was also BB inspired, with a dock of apps along the bottom of the tiny screen and a hardware joystick for navigation.

After Apple unveiled the iPhone all that work was basically thrown in the bin and replaced with a full size screen, soft keyboard, capicitive touch screen and a grid of icons.

Don't take my word for it though, google it for yourself.

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Crap alchemist jailed for poo-into-gold experiment

jubtastic1
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Coat

Oh, Edmund... can it be true?

That I hold here, in my mortal hand, a nugget of purest Brown?

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War boffin: Killer cyber attacks won't happen

jubtastic1
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WTF?

Duck and cover

There was a first time for every new technology used in warfare, to argue that because X hasn't happened yet it never will seems remarkably reckless, especially in these days of Stuxnet, daily intrusions by the PLA and rumours that the US considered hacking Gaddafi's air defences.

At this point I think it's a given that most if not all industrialised nations have cyber warfare divisions, that the Yanks are better than the Chinese because they don't get caught as often (and when they do pretty sophisticated code is uncovered), I'd also posit that the civilian systems that ensure humans around the globe are fed, watered, warm and happy are riddled with bugs that the aforementioned agencies have spent the last 5 years discovering, weaponising and filing away for a rainy day.

TL;DR

This guy is on crack, we will certainly see SoftWar cause human casualties at some point, agree that there's no sense worrying about it though.

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Yahoo! revenue! AND! profits! bomb! as! expected!

jubtastic1
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They have an image problem

As illustrated by Every! Single! Yahoo! Article! On! T'Reg!

They should focus on the bits people like, but don't associate with Yahoo!!! Like Flickr, thats something they can grow without alienating their existing yahoos by rebranding.

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Apple iOS 5.0 downloads drive all-time UK net traffic high

jubtastic1
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iOS 5 enables delta updates

So this is the last complete firmware image.

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Apple 'prepping smaller iPad'

jubtastic1
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Why assume they're for biddy iPads?

Could be a screen for a new magic trackpad, or some other gizmo. The Aspect ratio might be a clue, but I suspect a small number of production samples just means they're playing with ideas, or more likely, competitors heads.

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iPhone 4S: Our *hit list

jubtastic1
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Stop

iCloud backup space

It doesn't bother backing up anything that can be redownloaded, like the OS, apps, media from iTunes or that's been synced from your PC, IMAP mail, anything that's already backed up as part of iCloud, like contacts and calendars.

Which is to say you only need a fraction of the device space for a complete backup, eg: 500 mb for my 16GB iPhone and 700MB for my 32GB iPad.

To my mind, this is a clever approach that minimises bandwidth requirements and drastically cuts down the time taken for a backup but we're all entitled to our own opinions.

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jubtastic1
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Re: am I missing something?

Yes, Its v1.0

I'm just glad it works, they'll get round to adding the "remove photo I really shouldn't have snapped" option later, just like they finally got round to adding the option to remove a single dodgy call from your call history.

Don't hold your breath, I'd imagine it's way down Apple's To Do list.

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MIT boffin: Salted disks hold SIX TIMES more data

jubtastic1
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Overkill?

3.3Gb seems like a colossal jump from 128bit salts

/gets coat.

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Apple: 4m iPhone 4S handsets sold, thank you very much

jubtastic1
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18.7 Petabytes

Just for iOS 5 downloads over three days. That's a lot of bits.

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Apple versus Samsung: key points in the ruling

jubtastic1
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FAIL

Unfortunately for you

I have given a lot of thought to supermarket own brand products, which if I am honest, I rarely (never), find a willing audience for.

Tesco Choco Snaps are Coco Pops copies, they taste almost as good as the real thing yet there's just enough of a difference that in blind taste tests (conducted upon offspring at the Jubtastic household), the test subjects noticed and voiced their disapproval.

Tesco also sells a "value" coco pops copy, whose value is debatable because IMHO they bear more in common with cardboard than food, now when you think about it, coco pops are just puffed rice and some chocolate flavouring, yet the value range has clearly been gimped beyond reducing costs on the raw materials to ensure that the product compares poorly with Choco Snaps and of course, Coco Pops.

This sugggests that Tesco actually employ someone to gimp value range products, which personally I find both perverse and yet fascinating.

Back to your questions:

Yes.

Of course not.

Actually, the logo on the box is Trademarked, reproducing it without permission is not a copyright violation, it's counterfeiting. Wiki Trade Dress for enlightenment: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trade_dress

Good day Sir.

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World+Dog goes bonkers for iPhone 4S

jubtastic1
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Stop

They must mean the first 24hrs sales In 2010

To sell more in an hour than 6 months of last year would be off the fucking chart.

Of course by this time next year, when every phone and computery thing has an indispensable Siri type AI embedded, Apple introducing it to the mass market will be ignored by the haters because it will turn out to have been an obvious evolution and would have happened anyway and Apple didn't invent it and blah blah fucking blah.

The level of ingratitude to this company from the IT sector is frankly depressing.

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