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* Posts by Ian Bremner

35 posts • joined 18 Jul 2007

MtGox finds 200,000 Bitcoin in old wallets

Ian Bremner
Trollface

So they're basically doing the IT equivalent of searching for loose change down the back of the sofa?

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Dammit internet... you promised naked videos of my Facebook friends

Ian Bremner
WTF?

If I ever got a message offering nude pics and videos of any of my facebook friends I'd want to stock up on brain bleach first.

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Apple files foul-up-fixing patent for fumbling slab-fondling flubbers

Ian Bremner

Hmm.

So if ti detects weaving movement does it go into drunk mode by opening up the map apps and trying to direct you to the nearest kebab shop? (Which will probably result in you in the nearest river given Crapple Maps)

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Apple iPhone factory workers imprisoned in virtual slavery – report

Ian Bremner
Joke

Nepal? Are you sure he wasn't from Yorkshire?

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Mac fans: You don't need Windows to get ripped off in tech support scams

Ian Bremner

My favourite anecdote about this was my boss at my old job got a call form one of these claiming to be from Virgin about the virus they detected on his computer.

He strung them along for a bit bifore:

Boss: Sorry, what was your name again?

Scammer: it is Daniel sir.

Boss: And you work for Virgin and give remote support for end users?

Scammer: that is right sir.

Boss: that's odd, I don't have a Daniel on my team.

Scammer: Excuse me sir?

Boss; Sorry, did I forget to mention I am the manger for Virgin Digital Home Support technicians? how about you put me through to your supervisor and he and I have a little chat about you illegally misrepresenting yourself?

The fun thing was, he did actually get through to someone claiming to be a supervisor and proceeded to rip several strips off of him

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TiVo dives into pile of cash, steely eyed investors don't blink

Ian Bremner

An opportunity squandered

I loved my original TiVo a lot, it was easy to use, it caught a lot of films and TV progs I may have missed and was very good at handling wishlists and so on.

I extended the life of the unit by installing a beefier hard drive (40Gb ont he original units was a bit small), installed a network card to do updates over broadband rather than dial up and when Sky closed the EPG updates, switched to AltEPG so that it is still useful today.

What finally drove the nail intot he coffin was the requirement for an external freeview box that it could control over the IR wands and the lack of HD support. so I;ve now switched to a Pi running XBMC as my DVR of choice although it doesn't have the excellent wishlist capability that TiVo had.

If TiVo had the sense to release an updated box with HD support, network capability built in and a Freeview option I would snap it up. Instead they've tied themselves to a Virgin exclusive contract leaving all of us in non cabled areas out in the cold.

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Apple files 'Bonk to Gift' near field communication patent application

Ian Bremner
Stop

Re: DRM is key

Correst me if I'm worng, but Microsoft's ill-fated Zune did something very similar albeit ver wi-fi rather than NFC.

You could transfer a song to another Zune and it could be available to the other user for a set period of time before requiring the recipient to either delete the file or pay for it. A kind of try-before-you-buy deal that I thought was actually quite a good idea.

So this was a method for transmitting a DRM'ed file across a wireless network.

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Microsoft to fund Blake's 7 return as Xbox Live exclusive

Ian Bremner
Happy

Re: Tit for ..er... tat?

What? You mean like this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Khrpy4V0-U4

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Google menaces Apple's 3-year-old toddler with its cheap stream tech

Ian Bremner

Might get my attention more if Netflix in the UK actually had any decent content on it.

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US Marine Corps misses target, finds and bombs Nemo

Ian Bremner
Mushroom

Re: But why the Great Barrier Reef?

Or Detroit. let's face it, I doubt anyone would notice the difference.

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Corporates! Bring in all-purpose filler for IT skills gap, thunders Steelie Neelie

Ian Bremner
Flame

If they bothered to pay a decent wage for these 'thousands of vacancies' they'd get more applicants.

When the economy took it's nose dive the first thigns a lot of companies did was to gut their IT Departments as these departments 'Didn't make any money and ran at a loss". Case in point, the Company I worked for, a company heavily engaged in telecommunications, downsized it's IT Dept from 5 techs providing 24/7 support, a web designer and a web developer to 1 IT guy (not me fortunately) to provide 24/7 support and a web designer.(Yep, they got rid of the developer and kept the designer). But at least they managed to hire three new salespeople to sell a product they couldn't hope to support.

The only IT jobs that were available paid stupidly bad wages

"OK, the job is you support the end users, handling ANY IT related issue they can think of, we want you to take telephone calls AND handle ten remote desktops simultaneously. Your shift pattern is 8 1/2 hours a day 5 days out of seven including weekends between 8am and midnight, there are no public holidays (Yes, you do have to work Xmas day and New Years) you get a half hour for lunch and for all that we will pay you the princely sum of £14,500 per annum"

I do not recommend ANYONE to consider a career in IT at this time.

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Torvalds asks 'Why do PC manufacturers even bother any more?'

Ian Bremner
Joke

Re: Chromebook is doing what Surface was supposed to do...

Ok Eadon, just show us on the doll where Microsoft touched you.

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Now even MORE 'interns' make iPhones - Chinese labour watchdog

Ian Bremner
FAIL

Because :

a) MacDonalds will generally be paying you a 'fair' wage for your work.

b) Your are not REQUIRED to work at MacDonalds to pass your degree.

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First Google wants to know all about you, now it wants a RING on your finger

Ian Bremner
Unhappy

Re: You have got to be kidding

yeah, that's not going to make a lot of difference to me then.

.

.

.

.

I'm soooooo lonely

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Help-desk hell

Ian Bremner
Mushroom

Space: The Final Front Ear

Talking to a draughtsman on the phone, trying to figure out why AutoCAD coudldn't pick up a licence from our licence server.

Me: Ok, if you click 'Start', then 'Run'

Him: OK.

Me: In the box type 'cmd', that's 'C' for Charlie, 'M'. for Mike and 'D' for Delta, then press the Enter key

Him : Ok, I have a black window open up now.

Me: Ok, in that window can you type Ping, that's 'P' for Peter, 'I' for India, 'N' for November, 'G' for Golf and then a space.

Him: What kind of space?

The guy who was doing on-the-job traiing with me swore my face changed colour.

I have also had calls where I have spent upwards of 15 minutes trying to help someone find the Enter key.

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UK iPad Mini FRENZY: Queues stretch SEVERAL FEET from till

Ian Bremner
FAIL

Wrong street

Looks like your picture is of West Nile Street in Glasgow.

Apples store and main entrance is one block over on Buchanan Street

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Global action takes down tech support scam

Ian Bremner
Megaphone

Re: What exactly is the crime?

the issue is that they don't actually say the work is chargeable until after they are done installing free software (And malware sometimes too) then they try to hit you for charges in the £100's of pounds. I have had to deal with the aftereffects of these people myself. they are also misrepresenting themselves by saying they are calling on behalf of Microsoft\Virgin etc.

Best laugh I got was when one of these numpties called my boss to say he was calling on behalf of Virgin. He was a bit taken aback when he found out he was calling the manager of one fo Virgins tech support teams who proceeded to rip him a new waste orifice.

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AI game bot HUNTS DOWN ENEMIES, passes Turing Test

Ian Bremner
Terminator

Make it even more human like

have the bot tea-bag downed opponents and sxreech obscenities in a girlie voice over the chat

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Rolling robot avatar trumps telecommuting

Ian Bremner

Sheldon

Didn't this appear on The Big Bang Theory?

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Judge rejects Apple's calls for Samsung censure

Ian Bremner
FAIL

Re: @Craigness

In what topsy turvy bizarro world do you live in where a salesman tries to get you to buy something cheaper?

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iPhone 4S: Our *hit list

Ian Bremner
Terminator

GlaDOSiri is already here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTg00wIijNY

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iPhone 4S pre-orders obliterate sales records

Ian Bremner
Trollface

iPhones are like string

Every yo-yo wants one

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Apple cofounder Steve Jobs is dead at 56

Ian Bremner
Paris Hilton

RIP

let me say this.

I hate Apple products.

I hate the legions of drooling fanbois who camp for days to get their latest iCrap product.

I hate Apples business practices of trying to stifle the opposition with patent lawsuits.

Having said all that.

RIP Steve, although I didn't care for your company or it's products, a lot of other people did and you brought that to them. 56 is a young age to go at and my condolences to your friends and famiy.

Pairs, cos she's sad too.

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Dev's iPhone cable melts after iOS 5 upgrade

Ian Bremner
Mushroom

From St. Jobs

Don't charge it that way.

No big deal.

Sent From My Asbestos coated iPhone

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Dell's faulty PC legal woes worsen (again)

Ian Bremner
FAIL

From an ex-Dell tech

I worked the Optiplex support desk when the 270's were still being sold. When you got a call in and the machine was either GX/SX270 or 280 you knew it would be bad caps, the most common symptom was a green power light, no video and no diagnostic lights on the back.

Dell knew it was a BIG problem but you weren;t allowed to say it. You had to get the cusotmer to open the machine and visually identify the swollen caps before you were allowed to book a replacement. Some big companies and organizations (eg the NHS) got a project booked to replace every single motherboard.

it was so bad that a big order for Microsoft got cancelled due to this and they ended up using the machines earmrked for Microsoft to fit out the Glasgow call centre instead.

To give Dell their due they did extend the standard 3 year warranty out by an extra two years if you could confirm the presence of faulty caps on the board but it certainly kept us phone monkeys busy.

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Dell tech flashes woman with (her own) jubblies

Ian Bremner

Re: jack is one of our best

Oddly enough when I worked at Dell a bunch of us techs started looking up names on the company directory and there is a jack bauer working for Dell.

there are also three Clark kents, but the best one is that in the Dell Enterprise department, there is a Jean Luc Picard (I shit you not).

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Doctor Who fans name best episode ever

Ian Bremner
Coat

@ By Gordon is not a Moron

The title you're looking for is "The Curse of Fenric" one of the better Sylvester McCoy stories.

GVood thing "Silly Nemesis" isn;t in there.

Mine's the one with the sonic screwdriver in thepocket.

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Kate Moss kills Kills cuts

Ian Bremner
Coat

Silly question

"No word yet on the make of the laptop - but hey, you've got an IT angle, what more do you want?"

Boobies!

Mines the one with the copy of 'Razzle' in the pocket.

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Dell parks itself in PC superstores across Europe

Ian Bremner
Boffin

Dell support

As someone who works for Dell Tech Support it is amusing to read these comments from bitter know-it-alls. While I can;t speak for my Indian colleagues, here in the Business support section we are currently orunning on a customer satisfaction level of nearly 90%.

@Dan - "I would like to see what percent your staff are telling people to re-build thier PCs to get a fix."

It is a fact that a great deal of PC problems are caused by (l)users installing something they shouldn't or spyware infested systems. In my experience more than 50% hardware faults turn out to be misconfigured or incompatible software, corrupt profiles and disk read errors caused by someone improperly shutting a system down. But trying to tell a self described tech-god this can be an exercise in futility.

The only time I have used DGSI techs is when I had an ID10T moment and bought the wrong motherboard. It was swapped over in minutes and I was on my way wih no fuss.

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Firms fear disgruntled staff: report

Ian Bremner
Coat

A simple solution

Maybe they can find some way of re-gruntling employees. Some sort of mechanis at the front door that sprays a gruntling solution on them as they pass through?

Or maybe I should just get me coat.

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Scottish? You're drinking too much

Ian Bremner
Dead Vulture

That'sh a load of, thingy, erm. RUBBISH <hic>

I mashelf am Scottish and I do not drink excessitively. I enjoy the odd tipple every now and then, but oI am cutting down by only having a half bottle at breakfast.

Yer ma best mate yraway

me an you apl! me an you against the WURRRRLD!!!

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Martian south pole: water, not dry ice

Ian Bremner

IT angle

**INSERT OBLIGATORY WHINE ABOUT LACK OF IT ANGLE HERE**

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US teacher fired for non-literal bible reading

Ian Bremner

Re: Shouldn't the college have asked for an appropriate biblical punishment

Only if he actually said "Jehovah"

<THUD>

Outch!!

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Aussie gov anti-porn filter 'useless', says teen

Ian Bremner

To quote the great Doctor Cox

If we took all the porn off the internet, we'd be left with one website. And it would be called "Bring back the Porn!!"

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Burned by a MacBook

Ian Bremner

Somethings aren't Apple's fault, some are.

On one level I can sympathize with Apple. I work in Tech Support for a big company whose name rhymes with Hell. On at least two occasions I've tried to have a courier replace a battery, onlyfor the courier to attend outwith the promised time. Not the fault of the tech, but of the outsourced courier.

But in the case of the smoke coming out of the machine and the burns to the author of this peice, If I or anyone at this office had taken that call, it would have been immediately escalated to Level 3 and a brand new system sent out as that one would have been deemed a safety hazard. Here, if a customer mentions large amounts of smoke coming from the system, electrical arcing or mentioning being injured by the system, it is immediately flagged for replacement.

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