What about Chris Morris!!

He was briliant in the first series as the barking mad of Denholm Reynholm.

The episode where he thanked everybody (including the toilet cleaners) except the IT team for making the new system a success was so true to life.

Wouldn't it be nice if..

..all these technology companies (Google, Apple, Samsung, etc) would just get together and say that in 2014 were not going put our resources into trying outdo each other to supply the next bit of consumer fluff. We're going to get together and invest all that money and time into finding a cure for cancer or feeding the starving.

You'll just have to wait until 2015 to get your iphone6 or galaxy5.

OK, it's never going to happen in a million years, but just think what the human race could achieve if we put all that effort into making life better.

Go the whole hog

If you've started foraging, what's wrong with a bit of fresh roadkill??

A real driver's car...

...only needs a rev counter , oil pressure, temp and fuel guages.

A proper old school denial of service .

I can't remember how many arguments/discussions I've had with people who claim that they don't need Anti-malware controls because they use Chrome so they are safe (most of these people claim to be developers).

My argument that all web browsers are full of vulnerabilities has been proved correct once again.

[Smug Mode engaged]

I don't particulary like the way PCI fines. I better way would be to base charge interchange rates (how much the retailer has to pay the acquirer per card transaction) on a risk based approach.

e.g.

Passed QSA PCI DSS assessment, never had a breach in 5 years : rate=2p per transaction

Not PCI compliant, No PCI compliance program, had a breach 2 years ago : rate=25p per transaction.

This would let companies decide what was best for them, go PCI and get cheap rate, don't go PCI but pay higher costs to ofset the risk to the card companies.

Something for the weekend Sir??

Here you go the Complete Collection of Kim-Il-Sung's works. All 100 volumes.

Turkeys in shock vote against Xmas.

This would be a report from Pablo Alto networks, who specialise in deep packet inspection appliction analysis firewalls??

What's the betting the final paragraph reads something like "talk to a Pablo Alto networks representative to discuss how to alleviate these threats".

This is all very good and Pablo Alto networks is a fine product, but the very people who read these reports tend to be very same people who ignore the repeated warnings that most of the business logs into to critcal systems with a shared account with the password of PASSWORD. The upshot is that they waste a lot of money to 'fix' a lower risk issue but ignore the elephant shaped security vulnerability in the room.

More tin does not necessarily mean better security.

What were the questions asked??

If you asked my elderly parents if they used the internet they would probably say no.

But ask my mother if she uses Google, and she'll tell you all about how she finds all the best online flight deals. Ask about eBay and she'll complain that my father is always buying motorbike parts, but no they don't use the internet.

What makes you cool?

I'm sorry but if people think that carrying the lastest, Apple, Microsoft, Blackberry, etc makes you cool then they've got some very serious personallity issues.

***And as everybody knows there is only one piece of tech that makes you looks cool and pulls the birds, "want come back to my place and hack my Raspberry Pi" ..... works every time ;-)

The Reality...

Linux has security flaws

OS-X has security flaws

Windows has security flaws

Unless an operating system kernal is locked/controlled to such an extent that the user cannot run or perform any task not explictly defined by the original development then there will still be flaws, and even then I wouldn't garuantee it would be 100% secure from any future attacks

And that's the point, it's all a balance between security and functionality. Mainframes are more secure because the only tasks allowed have been pre-defined. Personal computers are designed to let users have as much functionality/flexibility as possible.

Soft southerners

I'm waiting for the tough northern tablet computer. Yep the Why-Aye-Pad!!

I always remember driving past signs to the shropshire village of Knockin and wondering if they had a local store. They do and yes it is called "The Knockin Shop".

S##t I left the outside light on.

Kids today

When I were a lad we had to use Zmodem at 14.4Kbps. None of this new fangled Interweb thingy.

But we were happy!!! We're we ####!!!!!!!!!!

Nothing to see here:

Anybody who believes that any product made in China, India and other Asia-Pac, is totally free from child labour is clearly deluding themselves.

Wherever there are additional profits to be made by exploiting cheap labour it will happen.

Apple must be applauded for naming and shaming, but unfortunetly it won't remove the issue, as human greed will always be part of the equation.

Good Knows..

what some of these people complaining would make of some of the very regrettable "sitcoms" that were produced in blighty during the 70's, 'Love thy Neighbour' and 'Mind your language' spring to mind.

Racist, Xenophobic and very unfunny.

Well if you're going to be picky

Why do the X wing fighters change there wing configuration when attacking the death star? The was no atmosphere so there is no aerodynamic effect. Possibly to give a wider firing patten? Or just possibly just a visual cue of the ships preparing for battle in what is just an entertaining scifi story.

Looks suitably evil

I hope who programs it ensures that the response any command is "By your Command" in a mechanical tone.

I welcome our new Cylon overlords.

He forgot to mention

That all the Belize goventment officials are all alien lizard people, who live inside of the hollow earth and are controlling everything we do.

and in other news

Researchers find conclusive proof that Bears do Sh*t in the woods.

Vatican confirms Pope is a catholic.

Service Levels?

Hello, you're through to the Capita Customer Service Desk. How may I help?

..

So you're saying your priority 1 system has been down for 3 hours, and you want to know when It'll be fixed. Hold one for one minute and I'll check for you.

..

Ok, I've checked with the operations team and they are all doing compulsory health and safety training, sorry there won't be any engineers available until after 31st December. Thank you for choosing Capita IT services.

So...

Like CCIEs believe that the answer to everything is adding another CISCO product. A VCDX will just assume that the only solution is VM related.

These high level certifications are just for vendors to use them as unpaid salesman for their products.

A real world Solution Architect assess the business requirements, investigates multiple solutions for different vendors and then proposes the best solution for the customer, not just for their preferred supplier.

Taken with a large Pinch of Salt

How many times have Goldman Sachs been found guilty of trying to manipulating markets? They are a bank, not a IT consultancy, anything they write is aimed at making them money.

I would suggest that they either have a large portfolio of Apple stock that want to talk up before dumping them on the market, or they are trying to build up a stake in MS by driving the price lower first.

British 'men in shed' thinking at its best

Ahh Gallium Arsenide

All the original work on Gallium Arsenide was done at UWIST (now part of Cardiff Uni) working with INMOS before they were flogged off to the French. I was an Electronics undergrade at the time and most of my professors where working on it, describing how it was going to replace silicon. They were just years ahead of their time.

This is all old technology

British government: get off you arse.

But the money behind SKYLON and LAPCAT. And return Britain to the forefront of aviation

In the UK...

"Ah good I see you have your own phone. That means that we won't have to buy you one. We will of course take your personal number so that we can contact you at any time of the day or night, so you can instantly respond to the most trivial of issues which could happily have waited to the next day.

Obviously we won't pay you or even give you any thanks for having to deal with issues in you own time"

Whats so new about this

Just the other day I was telling little Oric-1 and his sister TRS-80....

Johnny 5

If you've every had to sit through Short Circuit, you'll know why Johnny 5 is the most evil and malevolent self aware aritificial intelligence of all time

Bit off topic

The Beeb website has a graphic with a picture of the NEST thermostat the comment is "Nest is controlled by rotating its bezel to adjust the temperature"

Ground backing stuff hey?? or maybe the author of the beeb article is a memebr of the Amish community.

Rotating a dial to control temperature, what will they think of next

To quote the Galaxy Song

.. and pray to god there's intelligent life out there

because there's bugger all down here on Earth