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* Posts by RainForestGuppy

304 posts • joined 17 Jul 2007

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Boffins attempt to prove the UNIVERSE IS JUST A HOLOGRAM

RainForestGuppy

Reminds me of ...

“Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind-bogglingly useful (as the babel fish) could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.

The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist,'" says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."

"But," says Man, "The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED."

"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

"Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.”

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Securobods warn of wide open backdoor in Netis/Netcore routers

RainForestGuppy

Congratulations you work in IT.

Unfortunately, most real people who buy home routers don't. They just want something that connects their PC/Laptop/tablet to the internet so they can access Facebook, ebay.

Expecting people to upgrade firmware, change passwords, writing scripts is just not acceptable.

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HUGE iPAD? Maybe. HUGE ADVERTS? That's for SURE

RainForestGuppy

More Wall-e than terminator

Isn't the more likely dystopian future one where humans are just amorphous blobs being told to buy things that they don't need.

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Apple's iWatch? They cannae do it ... they don't have the POWER

RainForestGuppy

Does it matter??

Put a dog turd on a strap, slap an Apple logo on it and the fanbois will still buy it, claiming that it's world changing technology.

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UK.gov sinks another £1.6m into Internet of Stuff spec HyperCat

RainForestGuppy

Damn, I thought HyperCat sounded like the successor to the much missed cross channel Seacats.

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Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people

RainForestGuppy

I'm still waiting for my piezoelectric shoes to charge my phone whilst walking.

2
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Five Totally Believable Things Car Makers Must Do To Thwart Hackers

RainForestGuppy

Why would you hack a car?

Rather than the whole crashing at speed thing, I thing the biggest motive for hacking a car could be Fraud.

In the UK there is an 'industry' around fraudsters being paid to have low speed impacts with innocent people on roundabouts/intersections etc, they then give the details of the person that paid them, Who then puts in a claim for whiplash, anxiety, etc against the victim's insurance company (usually using an ambulance chasing 'legal' firm).

Imagine if you could could now control the innocent victims car and force it to slam on the brakes at your command, whilst your GoPro camera on the dash records everything. "Sorry mate, you slammed on the brakes, I've got it on camera. I'll tell you what give me £500 and we won't go through the insurance company".

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No Apple fanbois here: Man United BANS iPads from Old Trafford

RainForestGuppy

Understandable

If you paid £xxx for a ticket for a premiership game the last thing you want is everybody holding up a massive tablet in front of you blocking the view. I can see trouble occurring when a frustrated fan decides they have had enough and starts smashing the bloody things.

It's bad enough at concerts where everybody holds up mobiles. I want to see the band live, not on 500 LED screens.

There have been claims that it's to stop people recording games, but since most smartphones have better camera's than tablets, why aren't they blocking them.

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Ex-Apple man Sam Sung - for it is he - sticks namebadge on eBay

RainForestGuppy

What about his collegues??

Andy Roid

Win(nie) Dose

Eric Sun

Len Ovo

6
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HUMAN RACE PERIL: Not nukes, it'll be AI that kills us off, warns Musk

RainForestGuppy

Follow the H2G2 approach

To disable any AI and irrevocably tie up all it's circuits, all we need to do is ask it:-

"Why the Ape creature likes boiled leaves in water, rather then anything it could offer"

4
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Fridge hacked. Car hacked. Next up, your LIGHT BULBS

RainForestGuppy

Nothing new here. See this story from 2008.

http://www.cnet.com/uk/news/internet-connected-coffee-maker-has-security-holes/

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Booze in SPAAAACE! Brit rocket boffin preps bold stratobeer mission

RainForestGuppy

I suppose sending a pint London Pride into space is better than drinking it. It's definitely not a great ale, only to be drunk when ever other beer* has run out

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El Reg is looking for a new London sub-editor

RainForestGuppy

Re: Why does it *have* to be in London

Just do a bit of editing for you:

Isn't that a little like Foxconn slave labour having to listen to valve radios, working for a pittance whilst the organisations (both fruity and non-fruity) that engage with their masters, make $,000,000,000's in profits and keep banging on about how ethical they are.

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DARPA crazytech crew want to create HUMAN-FREE cyber defence systems

RainForestGuppy

I for one welcome our sentient Anti-malware overlords.

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Rap chap tapped for $3 BEELLION: Apple buys Dr Dre's Beats

RainForestGuppy

Take millions of pairs of Chinese made $5 dollar head phones.

Associate with Rapper.

Sell headphones for $100

Sell brand to hypermarketing company

Sell iheadphones for $200

Unfortunately there are enough fools out there who believe marketing hype and what is perceived to be "cool"

4
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French teen fined for illegal drone flight

RainForestGuppy

I read that as...

illegal Drone fight!! Much more interesting.

I think that could be the next big spectator sport drone fighting. Sort of Robot Wars 3D, "This time its vertical".

Hands off Sky, Bernie Ecclestone et al, I thought of this first!!

I'm also thinking of ProCeleb Drone fighting....

In the blue corner, The USAF 174th Fighter wing with a Reaper MQ-9 vs Danny Dyer with a Parrot AR. v2

7
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Moshtix admin account popped by party-pooper hipster-hating hacker

RainForestGuppy

What are the odds??

username: admin

password: password.

Just goes to show for privileged access you need to apply more control's than just a username/password.

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Tim Cook: Apple's 'closer than it's ever been' to releasing new product range

RainForestGuppy

"Our objective has never been to be first. It’s to be the best."

It's a watch then, yyyyaaaaawwwwwwnnnnnnn!!

3
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German space centre endures cyber attack

RainForestGuppy

Re: Effing Windows

And why do you assume that they use Windows?

No where in the reg article or in the original Spiegel article does in mention an OS. It mentions Malware and trojans, any OS can be susceptible to malware and trojans.

Assuming that one OS is secure and another is not is a great way of demonstrating your complete ignorance of computer security.

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MH370 airliner MYSTERY: The El Reg Pub/Dinner-party Guide

RainForestGuppy
FAIL

Re: What if it was ditched and sunk intact?

"to the extent that it has *never* been done."

Ok so what about US Airways Flight 1549 which an Airbus A320 which landed on the Hudson, intact and with all passengers and crew surviviing.

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/28678669/ns/us_news-life/t/ny-jet-crash-called-miracle-hudson/#.Uyg-Mvl_uXw

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WHEEE... CRUNCH! iPad Mini tops list of most breakable slabs, mobes

RainForestGuppy

Read all about it

EXCLUSIVE - Devices with large glass screen are easily broken.

in other headlines

Sun set's in the west shocker.

I had sex with my husband admits woman

Grass is green say scientists.

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A real life Romulan-Klingon alliance: Google, Samsung sign global patent pact

RainForestGuppy

IF CONTENT(POST) = "Samsung" or "Android" AND NAME="Anonymous Coward" Then LOCATION="Apple Store"

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KCOM-owned Eclipse FAILS to cover up the password 'password'

RainForestGuppy

Many companies are told but few listen

As a security consultant, I repeatedly tell clients that their customer password should never be able to be retrieved even by the customer.

Look at Microsoft AD, it may have many issues, but even if you are the Domain Admin with every right across the whole AD domain you cannot view another users password, you can delete it, you can change it, but you can't see it.

It a customer wants to reset their password fine, they can input to old password and change it.

If they forget their password, have a temporary one time password sent back to them, or even have an operator generate a one-time password for them to use.

If a operator or call center operative can see a customer password you have an instant oppurtunity for fraud within the business.

However companies seldom listern to security people (even if they are paying massive consultancy fees), because security doesn't generate revenue, however if a marketing/customer experience person thinks it would be 'easier' for customers to recover they own password or have a call center agent look it up, then that becomes the norm. Of course when an incident take place it's not their fault it's an IT issue.

This will keep happening until some government has the balls to say that when a company has a security breach, the C-levels will be in the dock, looking at some time at her majesty pleasure.

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'Leaked' iPhone 6 pics will make cool fanbois WEEP - it's a PHABLET

RainForestGuppy

Copy, Copy, Copy.

Why don't they just call it the iNote.

Apple Innovation died with Steve Jobs

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It's CLOUD WAR says Larry Ellison: parachute in the sales team

RainForestGuppy

Unfortunetly.....

.... in this case the competion is too big for Ellison to buy, rape for all their decent technology and then close down, forcing customers to migrate to a more expensive and worse Oracle solution.

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Mosquitoes, Comets and Vampires: The de Havilland Museum

RainForestGuppy

Re: Mosquito

You look at the UK jets of the 50's/60's and my god did they have style.

Just look at planes like the DH Vampire, and the Supermarine Swift, Hawker Hunter and even the graceful Vulcan. They just looked great.

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Twitterers rally round #CensoredUK - to demand MORE PORN

RainForestGuppy

middle class angst.

I wonder how many of mumsnet and similar organisations that have been campaigning for this, are the same ones that were reading 50 shades of grey....

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iSPY: Apple Stores switch on iBeacon phone sniff spy system

RainForestGuppy

Not Spying

"To take part all you need to do is download the Apple Store app and agree to let it track your location."

Not exactly covert then??

Not defending Apple, just point out poor, headline grabbing journalism.

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SHOCK REVELATION: Telstra manages its networks!

RainForestGuppy

Wow

And I thought Splunk was just a reasonably price piece of log collection, aggregation and analysis software, It sounds some much sexier as spookware.

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Fujitsu: Sayonara, London Stock Exchange... You're not worth the money

RainForestGuppy

Nothing to see here??

I think it says more about Fujitsu rather than LSE. Fujitsu is is free fall is losing money (95 Billion Yen - March 2013) and slashing jobs.

It makes sense to pull in and move you shared into a more protected market like the Nikkei rather than an open one like LTSE, it prevents predetors moving to make a quick profit at the longer term detriment of the business.

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Our TINY flying robot moves like a JELLYFISH, say NYU boffins

RainForestGuppy

Sub-Headline of the year

Brilliant.. somebody at El reg is on top form today.

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Oracle makes Halloween-eve request for sysadmin HORROR MOVIES

RainForestGuppy

The horror......

Oracle licensing model, brings me out in a cold sweat just thinking about it.

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Ohh! The PRECIOUS! Give it to uss. We WANTS it: Shiny iThings coming in 2014

RainForestGuppy

Exciting new products??

I'm sorry but the same phone you've produced for the last 5 years with a "wait for it......" a coloured case is not a new and exciting product.

Can't wait for 2014, what will we get... a blue ipad? a different size screen? These are not new and exciting products. Apple stopped innovating when Steve Jobs became ill. Tim Cook is just a bean counter.

They'll just milk the existing products till death, walk away with a stack of cash and Apple will be another footnote in the history of computing.

Won't happen?? Almost did before, it was only Jobs return to helm at Apple that saved them.

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DARPA slaps $2m on the bar for the ULTIMATE security bug SLAYER

RainForestGuppy

My Entry

The ED209 vulnerabilty management model:-

I'll just turn it on...

"A vulnerability has been detected on this system. You have 10 seconds to comply"

"Vulnerability is still active on this system. You have 5 seconds to comply"

"Patching process active..."

Rapid burst of Machine gun fire.

"Patching complete, System vulnerability neutralized"

Well the system is now protected against attack, they didn't specify if it had to be usable again!!

3
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Payday loans firm rapped for failing to register with Info Commissioner

RainForestGuppy

Re: Rather than just fining them

Just found this aswell:-

http://www.asa.org.uk/Rulings/Adjudications/2013/6/First-Financial-UK-Ltd/SHP_ADJ_222081.aspx

Serial scumbag

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RainForestGuppy

Rather than just fining them

Seize all the assets of the company. Ban the owner from being a Director or executive of any other business.

Remember this isn't about a data loss/breach, this is about understanding the most basic responsibilities regarding data protection and registering the company as data controller.

Sorry but if you don't know the the first thing about the legalities of running a business, then you shouldn't be allowed to. Ignorance is no excuse.

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Apple's new iPhones dope-slap Samsung in US

RainForestGuppy

Really.. who cares

These playground arguments have been around for years:

Spectrum vs C64

Atari St vs Amiga

XBox vs PS

and 10 years later the technology is forgotten as the market develops and something new comes along.

Just buy the phone you want, enjoy it and don't spend half your life trying to justify it by slagging everything else.

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'Safest car ever made' Tesla Model S EV crashes and burns. Car 'performed as designed'

RainForestGuppy

New technology

Did the first steam trains work perfectly or were there many cases of them blowing up?

Did the first planes work perfectly or were there many cases of them falling out of the skies?

Did the first internal combustion engines work perfectly or were there many cases of them destroying themselves, bursting into flames etc?

I think you'll find the answer to the above questions, is always the later.

New technologies will always have failures until the flaws are worked out. Telsa should be applauded for trying to produce a real electric car, rather than tax avoidance/emission regulation projects like the Nissan leaf, or the complete waste of space which are the hybrids** (slow, ugly and less economic than a decent diesel motor).

If people had jumped all over new technologies like the steam engine, powered flight and the internal combustion engine in the same way that they want Tesla to fail, then we would all still be riding around in horse and carts.

** Except Supercar hybrids like the Porsche 918 which use the electric motors for a power boost rather than some attempt to be 'green'.

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Former Microsoftie in AUTOMATIC BEER MAKER funding plea

RainForestGuppy

Re: A few other ingredients

Water, Yeast and time is not enough, you need a starch source for the yeast to act on.

Hence you need malt from Barley (or wheat, rice etc), and some hops to give it flavour would be nice. **

** not if you used to drinking Budweiser (US), Fosters, Carling etc you're probably not used to flavour.

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The LSD trick cyclist, the 1980s pop-star and video games to REPROGRAM YOUR BRAIN

RainForestGuppy
Joke

Re: @Geoff Campbell (was: Computer games & drugs? Seriously?)

Reality: noun, re-al-i-ty : An illusion caused by a lack of alcohol.

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Our magnificent Vulture 2 spaceplane: Intimate snaps

RainForestGuppy

No colour yet...

That explains all the delays.

Golagafrincham captain: Yes, and, and, and the wheel. What about this wheel thingy? Sounds a terribly interesting project to me.

Golagafrincham marketing exec: Er, yeah, well we’re having a little, er, difficulty here…

Ford Prefect: Difficulty?! It’s the single simplest machine in the entire universe!

Golagafrincham marketing exec: Well alright mister wise guy, if you’re so clever you tell us what colour it should be!

HHGTTG.

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Boffins: Internet transit a vulnerability

RainForestGuppy

What's new here??

Sorry but is this the best that "Security researchers" at Stanford have come up with??

Talk about dumbing down. This is just standard Internet security 101 stuff.

2
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Fandroids at pranksters' mercy: Android remote password reset now live

RainForestGuppy
WTF?

Security flaw in all online banking too

If you log onto your online bank and walk away from the computer, somebody could access your account and steal all you money.

OMG the same flaw is in every email system aswell. Apparently this gaping security hole also works if you use 2 factor authentication

QUICK SHUT DOWN THE INTERNET, NOTHING IS SAFE!!!!!!

New Headline,

EL Reg writer in Sensationalist Non-Headline shocker

"I don't know anything about technology, but I've got a media studies degree" says hack.

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Boffins: Earth will be habitable for only 1.75 BEEELLION more years

RainForestGuppy

Don't care

I'm going to have Sublimed way before then

or perhaps I'll just have my conscience transferred to the GCU, Don't touch that button

(IMB sorely missed)

3
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Rotten Apple iOS 7 fury: Glitchy audio or is today's music really that bad?

RainForestGuppy

Re: Only official cables

Simpler

Step 1. By a better phone that uses standard cables such as micro usb

Step 2. Enjoy a much better experience without being tied to using (and paying for the privilege of being restricted to) only the apps/content/media that the fruity one want you to.

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London Underground cleaners to refuse fingerprint clock-on

RainForestGuppy

Flipside

Some of this technology does give the employee some benefits.

If a manager wrongly accuses you of turning up late, or missing work and getting people to cover for you, you have clear records that will prove otherwise.

I've seen similar happen when somebody used CCTV footage to prove that they were at their desk, when they line manager accused them of taking unauthorised time of.

As long as the fingerprint info is not shared with another agency (and anti-bac wipes are supplied), I'm not sure how this infringes any workers rights.

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Hacker cracks Vodafone Germany, steals data of 2 million customers

RainForestGuppy
Headmaster

Re: Not a Hack

their systems.

1
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RainForestGuppy

Not a Hack

On the Beeb news site:

A suspect has now been identified and his home searched, said Vodafone, which meant it could now talk about the incident and inform the two million victims. In total, Vodafone Germany has about 36 million mobile customers.

"This attack could only be carried out with high criminal intent and insider knowledge and was launched deep inside the IT infrastructure of the company," said the operator

Basically an employee inside the company copied the data onto a USB key and walked out with it. Calling it a hack is just Vodafails way of trying to convince people that they actually had some security on there systems.

1
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Samsung Galaxy S4 Active: The mobe for CHUCK NORRIS TYPES

RainForestGuppy

Chuck Norris don't need no phone..

He just stares at you and you know what message will follow..PAIN!!!

1
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It's the software, stupid: Samsung Galaxy Gear smartwatch bags big apps

RainForestGuppy

Re: Getting your imitation in first?

I was going to say exactly the same thing, however by the authors logic you must be imitating me.

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