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* Posts by g e

2737 posts • joined 16 Jul 2007

'Real' JavaScript benchmark topped by...Microsoft

g e
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I too have an impressive CV

Although an appropriately large payment will have me say Microsoft rules.

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g e
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On a Microsoft report of a Microsoft product?

My what small cockles you have...

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No, iPhone location tracking isn't harmless and here's why

g e
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but

if the data is wrong then you have to refute the allegation with evidence of how the data was collected.

Good luck prising THAT information out of Steve Jobs' Cold, Preferably Dead Hands.

As if I needed any more reasons not to buy a iThing/SpyThing

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g e
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Because...

to admit their SpyPhone/SpyPad was doing something Bad(tm) would be heresy.

And of course it would mean accepting that all the told-you-so people they had been defending Apple against for the last forever would be right.

There's nothing a fanboi abhors more than Being Wrong, except, of course Being Shown To Be Wrong.

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g e
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Ohhhhh right

So the police can't get at my PC's contents, then if I don't give them my password / power cable / keyboard / etc ?

And I thought they had scary tools like spare power cables...

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Google Linux servers hit with $5m patent infringement verdict

g e
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Prior art

DB2 used linked lists for db storage if I remember rightly. Must have had methods to count and remove records and indexes into the list, too.

I was using DB2 years before 1997.

If we're lucky the trolls' twisted corpses will be dug up in a few years next time the Information Super Highway is resurfaced. Why proof that you applied your patent to an invention or product isn't required I'll never know. Oh, actually I do. It's cos it's 'merrika

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Angry Birds hatches a plan for Easter

g e
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Free on Android?

Quality result!

It seems Rovio are well aware that iThing users are all too happy to compulsively throw money around, fair play to them.

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People watch movies on stuff

g e
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Of course, it WOULD help if...

... 95% of Hollywood movie trailers weren't actually a compilation of the only bits of their idiotic derivative offerings worth watching. Keeps me well away from cinemas, I can tell you, that ripped-off feeling sucks.

Lovefilm on the PS3 is pretty good though they need better search/browsing in the app and a wider watch-online catalogue (which is noticeably improving over time)

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Samsung threatens Apple in response to patent lawsuit

g e
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Unlikely

The screens are only made in certain shapes and, to be fair, I think Samsung will have the patents and IP for those.

No-one's going to put a rectangular screen in a square phone and phones have never had sharp corners so the rounded corner thing is mullered on prior art.

Apple are ever-increasingly comical and pathetic in equal measure. So glad they make nothing I want.

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High Court squashes Digital Economy Act challenge

g e
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FAIL

So what's the excuse going to be

When, following the DEA implementation, profits don't soar.

Maybe the shareholders are just thick but they should have been shouting for real digital solutions from their investments years ago. Perhaps being backed into a corner is what they need.

Nice that they're doing the 'backing' as well as the 'into' parts of that, though.

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Apple sues Samsung over Galaxy look-and-feel

g e
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In other news

Apple has patented Round Corners On Things

Expect everything from baby toys upwards to be hauled into court.

I hear the first defendant called is The Moon.

StupidFuckingTossers (tm)

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So, what's the best sci-fi film never made?

g e
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My 2-penn'th

Greg Bear's 'EON'

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RadioShack franchises go gunning for business

g e
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An AKG?

You can scare off varmints with a high quality condenser mic?

<coat />

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Sony buries hatchet with GeoHot in PS3 modding case

g e
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What I don't get

is how, in The Land of The Free (tm)(c)(r)(p), you can prevent anyone talking about stuff.

Isn't it contrary to The Right To Freedom of Speech, First Amendment, whatever?

Confused of England

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PowerAmp

g e
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Seconded

I use this app all the time on my Desire HD for in car tunes.

Really recommend it.

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Apple pressures Toyota to kill jailbreaker ad

g e
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Toyota phonecall

Apparently the person who answered the phone at Toyota at first mistook the caller for a small lonely child crying uncontrollably.

It just turned out to be Apple whining.

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Anonymous hacks Sony PS3 sites

g e
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WTF?

Still everyone's forgetting

You own the hardware NOT the firmware and NOT the software, you license that the same as any other commercial code-based product.

SONY shouldn't really have rescinded the OtherOS option IMHO but it's their prerogative. If you want to run Linux that bad just get a cheaper-than-a-playstation3 secondhand PC for god's sake. What the obsession with some imagined right to run Linux on a PS3 is I don't know. Does it really do something magical that Linux on any-other-platform doesn't do?

Watch the thumbs-down icon counter go for gold...

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Teens who listen to music a lot are at high risk of depression

g e
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Finntroll

Everyone must listen to Finntroll

Trollhammeren!

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Official: PS3 has more fanboys than the Xbox 360 does

g e
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I have both and...

The XBOX360 rarely gets turned on and all dual-format games are bought in PS3 format.

It's just the superior platform, IMHO, everything it tries to do it DOES do. The XBOX is hit & miss on it's non-game-playing 'features' to the point of utter vexation.

No interest in chipping either unit so I couldn't give a toss about the 'SONY/MS are Evil' whingers

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Stock-trading teen hacker jailed again over 2nd scam

g e
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Serial moron

That is all.

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Judge to music industry: 'Worth trillions? Forget it'

g e
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Negotiation

There's also a negotiation theory that you start from a more extreme point in order to make the middle ground where you actually want to be. Same thing essentially

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g e
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Or, preferably

Leaves it there till he suffocates.

One. Less. Snout.

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Police just rubber-stamping US data slurp

g e
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Facebook Friends?

More like Twitter Followers.

They contribute nothing back to anything.

Which muppet expected the U-Ass-A to even play according to the rules?

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Gov and ISPs clash over informal policing of net

g e
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Stop

Why it won't be Pirated material

Because legislation will be

Allegedly Pirated Material

as doubtless purchased/mandated by their media paymasters

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Make streaming a felony: Obama

g e
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Joke

Does it look just like a Telefunken U47?

It's cleaner than Mary and WAY more fun than Lucille...

Bet Obama knows what a pig with marital aids stuck all over it looks like.

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TorrentFreak seeking copyright report’s mysterious author

g e
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Come come, Mr Bond

Surely you have heard of my Orbital Numbness Calculatron ?

I bid you Adieu...

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g e
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Whilst feeling accused

all the way through it.

You wouldn't steal a car...

No. It has a fecking alarm and, when I steal it I permanently deprive the owner of it. Which, incidentally, IS the definition of 'steal', isn't it ? Learn to speak honest English, too, you mendacious manipulative, greedy bastards.

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Apple bans iPhone 3G patch omission talk from forum

g e
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No only

but also ...

assholes do it too

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Gmail auto sorts bulk mail, notifications, forum messages

g e
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Yeah but

Where's the Automatically_Mark_as_spam_and_hide_everything_in_russian filter?

Huh? HUH?

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Lady Gaga puts the squeeze on breast milk ice cream

g e
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Joke

I'm sure potentially

That in the correct circumstances you actually could catch most of that from lady gaga too.

Maybe a trademark suit is warranted after all.

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g e
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Queen

Did some work at EMI years ago. Remember some middle-manager guy walking through the office talking to someone saying of higher management 'They're shitting themselves. Queen management are all over this.'

So yes, maybe a good shoeing from proper big boys would make her shut her pointless piehole.

Vapid Twat [homage to earlier posting]

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Neighbourhood watchers in Reading get speedguns

g e
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Dear concerned speedgun-toting neighbour

We all know where you live. Of course we do.

You're a f**king neighbour you moron.

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g e
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Thank you!

I guess having 'Wanker' shouted at you MIGHT sound a bit like that...

"Thank you! I had no idea I was doing 30.06MPH! You live at number 37, you say? Gosh, you know I heard there'd been an outbreak of arson recently and they've still not caught the culprit. I hope you're insured..."

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Feds charge 10 with running Nigerian 419 scam

g e
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OMFG!

Not my dear trusted friend Claudio Uche Dibe ???

And so forth...

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NEC goes out on a limb with arm-tap gadget control

g e
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Joke

Forget Rock Band...

Arm Band, anyone???

>:oD

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Clear Channel turns digital billboards into 'store fronts'

g e
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What an absolutely fantastic

reason to avoid buying an NFC phone

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Launcher Pro

g e
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I saw 'Landscape home page'

And immediately installed it.

If the fecking thing expires and jiggers the phone I *will* give the dev a day from hell, though.

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Captain Kirk hails space shuttle Discovery

g e
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Eh?

Fair winds & Following Seas ???

Not Fair Seas & Following Winds?

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NASA's Glory climate-data sat crashes into Pacific on launch

g e
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Perhaps but

I don't think Denialists actually have any problem with real hard verifiable facts.

It's just that there's so few of them where 'man made climate change' is concerned.

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g e
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successful orbital insertion

FNARRR!

'I think he's attempting re-entry, Sir' - Q, Moonraker(?)

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g e
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Perhaps

The launch guy held the controller the wrong way.

Does anyone know if Apple made it?

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Twitter terminates Steve Jobs parodist

g e
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Just like

Julian Assange(tm)

Trademark Infringement!

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Charlie Sheen explodes onto Twitter

g e
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Alien

That's Charlie Sheen these days?

Honestly, I thought it was Russ Abott!

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Apple T&C upsets philanthropic developers

g e
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By golly you're right

And presumably they'd get the opportunity to charge a 30% administration fee on the amount prior to sending it along to the needy.

Missed opportunity to profit!

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Julian Assange™ applies to trademark himself

g e
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It's too similar

To the trademark Ass-Angel (tm)

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Euro court slaps down insurers over gender risks

g e
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If insurance WERE about risk assessment

Then your premium wouldn't go up cos someone in a different county was hit by an uninsured Polish driver. Would it?

Insurance Co's do NOT have your best interests at heart. They have shareholders.

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Phone seller pre-peddles white iPhone 4 for UNDER A GRAND!

g e
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LMAO

And this is without a SIM, right? i.e. you got operator bills on top? No doubt plenty of halfwits will buy this.

Makes my 18-mo £34 quid a month HTC Desire HD contract look positively bargain basement. Even if I bought it a 32GB memory card.

That's £612 for the phone over 18 months. Oh and ALL calls (except 0845, etc), every text and all data, too. If someone can prove to El Reg they bought one of these off Expansys then they should get a special award.

(Special as in special needs, that is)

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g e
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You!

You used to be in my Physics class didn't you!

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Thunderbolt: A new way to hack Macs

g e
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Will you also build my website?

Hey Elmer -

I have a copy of the website here which my 12-year-old nephew has made in Word and he says it's very easy for you to turn it into a secure ecommerce-enabled multilingual site.

I can't pay you but I will tell everyone you did this and you will make lots of money from it

Thanks.

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London Stock Exchange floored, again

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lpt0 is on fire

Two major banks and the LSE.

Surely I'm not the first to spot a suspicious coincidence?

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