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* Posts by g e

2786 posts • joined 16 Jul 2007

Fresh Apple lawsuits target 15 Samsung gadgets

g e
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Absolutely

This is so far past the Streisand Effect it needs it own name.

I'm sure El Reg'ers will have plenty of suggestions!

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g e
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Jesus Christ, Apple

Just FUCK OFF already, you total arseclowns

FFS, if they put the same energy into actually creating shit as they do lawyering at the people who do... (as opposed to recombining existing shit in slightly different ways and putting a faux brushed aluminium PNG on it)

On the up side, though, it makes me REALLY want to buy Samsung gear if it has Apple in this much of a hissy fit... Samsung may as well give their marketing dept the rest of the year off, it's being done for them!

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Iraq demands return of Saddam Hussein's arse

g e
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I thought thought the mental image funny

Coppers.

Interrogating an SAS officer trained to resist interrogation

Oh well, maybe it was funnier in my head...

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Pollution-gobbling molecules in global warming SMACKDOWN

g e
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Poor buggers

They haven't got back to the Drawing Board yet from the last 'oh hang on' discovery some real scientists made...

Hanging onto that 'man made' label in the global warming ecopocalypse (as opposed to it being a natural cycle of the planet) is getting trickier every month... I truly feel for the Quango's and their funding. Not.

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Murdoch slams White House over SOPA in Twitter row

g e
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Xmas cards

Haha. No.

Does it show?

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g e
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FAIL

bowing to lobbying pressure

Which as he knows damn well, is how SOPA got as far as it did in the first place.

Duplicitous, conniving, self-interested, inethical (not a typo), geriatric, oxygen-stealing bastard.

He got out-lobbied and he's crying like a little girl who didn't get the dolly she wanted for Xmas.

Fail. Cos his heart needs to.

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Apple Beijing store egged in botched iPhone 4S launch

g e
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FAIL

Oh dear me

You weren't being in an Apple-approved manner so you're not fit to have our product.

You watch Samsung airlift 1/2 million SG2's in later on today, and fair play to them if they do.

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Footie club sacks striker for homophobic tweet

g e
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Good.

If only the Premier Division clubs had half the balls to do this with their overpaid cavemen.

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Honda NSX reborn as a hybrid

g e
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Popup schmopup

Popups are just one more thing that can fail, and they bugger up your airflow cos they err... popup :o)

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g e
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Happy

Dear Santa....

I think you know what I'm going to ask for...

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Apple accused of extortion by rival tablet biz

g e
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So, anyway, Florian Mueller aside...

If Apple's action cost the company then surely as part of the process of success the affected company should be able to claim costs & damages from the claimant, incurred during defence of their side of the case, which you'd hope, included financial loss incurred via any penalties wrongly imposed based on the outcome of the case. Plus interest, plus a fair assessment of lost additional revenue had the penalties not been sanctioned. Hope being the key stumbling block, of course...
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NASA halts 'naut flogging Apollo 13 notebook

g e
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Scan and PDF it

Then if NASA claim they own the pysical notebook they can have it. Or, possibly legally do-able, send them a brand new replacement empty notebook to 'cover the cost' of the other.

$388k for a PDF might not pan out but you'd still have exclusive ownership and maybe a hand-signed CD as the delivery medium.

Of course working for NASA probably means they own an IP you generate while under their employ, like most companies, so technically they may well own the calcs, too.

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Intel demos transparent-lid hybrid PC

g e
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WTF?

Palm touch

Err I thought that was already part of touchpad drivers to ignore large-area touches to prevent generating spurious clicks and moves?

e.g. from running 'synclient -l' on the laptop here (Ubuntu, don't even bother trying, Windows users!)

PalmDetect = 0

PalmMinWidth = 9

PalmMinZ = 199

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Huawei uncloaks sleek, slim, sexy smartphones

g e
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Not an iphone killer

The iphone is already playing catchup to LG & Samsung in all aspects bar the logo, probably HTC, too by now as the Desire HD was certainly on par when it came out.

Mind you, unless you believe Apple 'invented' everything they imply they did, the iphone has always been playing catchup with everyone else... SMS forwarding, video recording, 3G, etc, etc all came late to it.

Apple know it, too, that's why they're suing everyone to prevent their phones being made available.

Fanbois can whine and froth all they like but the fact is the object of their affections is now 'last year's' phone compared to the conetition as soon as it c omes out, and no, Siri is not exactly new - people have been piping ASR into text parsing engines and dumping the output into TTS for years, just not on phones.

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Intel ignores Steve Jobs, adds touchscreen to Ultrabook

g e
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Hopefully

Intel will patent something crucial to it and lock Apple out of the ultra-touch-book market without paying a fat tithe to compete, which Apple will ignore reasoning, as usual, that they're Apple so 'fuck off' and then get sued for a billion trillon dollars. And so forth

What goes around comes around.

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Sir Howard's days as Sony prez said to be numbered

g e
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Drafted????

Was he US-born then or is anyone in the USA fair game if they're 'on the soil' ?

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Boffins hack evolution, create SUPERSOLDIER ANTS

g e
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Then one escapes.l..

Breeds, make even superer soldier ants that eventually mutate into the Locust Horde or the Chimera and ransacks the world..

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Apple legal threat to Steve Jobs doll deemed 'bogus'

g e
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I'm sure apple would be happy for it to be sold

If they got 30% of each sale

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iPad typos are Apple's fault, not yours - new claim

g e
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WTF?

But if it looks like a keyboard

It should behave like one.

We've had n-key rollover since the early eighties in keyboards. Perhaps someone has a patent on it that Apple cant buy and refuses to pay for.

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Apple accused of starving French reseller of hot stock

g e
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If they're very lucky

A judge will order Apple to reimburse for the POS.

Then they can start selling someone else's widgets instead.

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g e
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So...

Try to break even on that new POS system. Do a deal with Samsung. Drop Apple products. Advertise...

* serving suggestion *

We used to sell Apple products. Till we tried Samsung

etc, etc

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Apple fined $1.2m for flouting Italian warranty law

g e
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No refund order from the court?

It's likely that Crapple did something along the lines of...

How much Applecare profit can we make vs how much we're likely to be fined? More?

Great. Do it.

Hopefully people will be able to demand refunds for mis-sold cover.

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Apple land-grabs fuel cells for mobiles

g e
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Boycott Apple?

They make nothing I want.

Plus I so don't want to appear part of the Apple-buying demographic I avoid them like the plague, anyway.

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X-Men Origins: Wolverine pirate caged

g e
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FAIL

I thought imprisonment...

... these days was as much about removing dangerous folk from society as punishment.

Thank god this guy is taking up the prison bunk of a murderer, rapist or pedo. He's obviously a danger to the very fabric of human existence.

I should hope an appeal would get the sentence reduced. In a sane world. Mind you, in a sane world Big Media would get told to go through the proper channels for redress, too.

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g e
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9/10 - Good Effort

You'll have to imagine teacher's red biro marks but...

"Hollywood can do the visuals, but they have no soul"

A+ for effort :oD

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g e
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I submit for your consideration

The Italian Job remake

Not even in Italy.

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Apple wins skirmish in HTC-Google patent war

g e
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WTF?

Cobblers

"I don't see the tech industry in China coming out with innovative products at all, do you"

I don't see Crapple doing it either. They have been following everyone else since they first got into phones. Late with 3G, cameras, video recording and just ablout everything else.

Before the fanbois bleat about SIRI, it's essentially piping ASR output into a search then punting the search results back into a TTS and it's Nuance that provided the technology, again something else Crapple claim to invent that's been around forever.

Presumably they think they invented the touchscreen. You know, the ones they BUY FROM SAMSUNG...

etc, etc

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g e
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FAIL

Nokia 6310

I was going to say exactly the same about the 6310 I have upstairs in a drawer. Maybe the brainless/biased ITC would like me to send it to them.

Recorded Delivery, of course...

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Google's Siri-a-like to be named 'Majel' after Trek actress

g e
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Majel

Nice touch.

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Apple's Galaxy Tab ban was best advertising ever - Samsung

g e
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Not that I'm one to day Told You So but...

HEY APPLE... TOLD YOU SO.

So, I guess, for technology, the Streisand Effect has a counterpart...

The iEffect.

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Red Cross: 600m videogamers may be war criminals

g e
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Joke

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

The publicity account must be running dry for this one, trying to scamp a freebie column inch or two, Red Cross?

What they fail to note is that the curve also matches to proliferation of Android Smartphones, something crapple has been at pains to try & prevent by whatever means necessary. Google are the obvious ones to drag into court here, so, Mr Red Cross, get drafting that writ!

Apple. Humanitarian philanthropists. Whodathunkit?

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Bill Gates discusses nuclear development deal with China

g e
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Joke

BMOD

Blue Mushroom Of Death

!!

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Globe slowly warming, insists 'Hansen's Bulldog'

g e
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Whereas the 'scientists'

Are often under 'Huge' political pressure to 'not make the government look stupid' if they want another payday. Very consensus-forming, I'd say.

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g e
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Joke

Please donate

Will run Climate Quango for food.

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g e
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Then perhaps

They should try looking at a longer period than 30-40 years?

Like 100,000 or something, perhaps.

Give me a short enough sample of audio I can fit it to more songs...

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US military pays SETI to check Kepler-22b for aliens

g e
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Joke

221b

Baker Street ?

:oD

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g e
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Joke

Yessir we found aliens!

That sho' is great news boys, now, can you find out if they sho' do done got oil in their pinko commie subversive li'l green backyards?

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UK.gov to require YOU to opt out of data-sharing plan with drug firms

g e
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FAIL

GSK and Pfizer, et al

Are these included under the umbrella term 'Researchers' ?

opt me out dammit.

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Take this survey: Win an iPad 2

g e
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Happy

Second prize!!!

Double the eBay goodness :o)

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Blighty promised £43m prang-predicting supercomputer

g e
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A new Oxymoron for our times

Along with the timeless classics of...

Sun Reader

Military Intelligence

Microsoft Works

We have a new addtion...

Climate Science

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Capita signs £560m deal with BBC

g e
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Meh

"represents great value" for the licence-fee paying public

No.

That'll be a license fee frozen for till 2015, that will.

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Lovefilm dumps Flash, BLINDS Linux fans with Silverlight

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FAIL

Enough time to switch

To BitTorrent ?

Classic MAFIAA thinking, though.. Let's use a dying/still-born technology no-one else uses because it is a great match for our business model.

So... User-agent work-around for a fake PS3 Linux login maybe? Would need to emulate a SONY user account login too, though...

Notably SKY use SilverShite, too, presumably for the same reasons. I'd have thought that if everyone said 'fuck off, we'll just not distribute your movies, then' that might have worked more effectively ? Perhaps not.

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iiTrial in the High Court: Day One

g e
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Still cheaper...

... to litigate than innovate

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UK Met Office: World temperature back down to 1997 level

g e
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Black Helicopters

But of course

He won't be under any pressure from the Gov to make anything present the way the Gov wants it, either.

Will he.

Given that it's *known* that the Gov puts huge pressure on folk reporting climate stuff to bend it towards apocalypse the only sensible interpretation is to assume the information has been spun, therefore reading everything as biased. Which, unproductively, actually lends more weight to reports denouncing or debunking man-made warming, regardless of their veracity.

The Gov lies and expects anyone depending on the Gov for their payday to reproduce/bolster the lie, regardless of the sector on which they're reporting, climate, road safety, etc, etc.

Where's the black helicopter icon when you need it?

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Siri gets Android rival as Cluzee goes live

g e
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Trollface

Drastic Cosmetic Surgery

Is the only thing that removes the smug look from iThing users' faces.

Oh and a crap battery life

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Sky's mobile movies move leaves Apple, Amazon gasping

g e
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Meh

Requires Silverlight

MEH

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iPhone 4/4S 'self combusts' in airliner inferno

g e
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FAIL

Affects a small percentage..

Therefore implies that it has been measured

Which means it is a known fault

Which means Apple must be sued for knowingly selling and advertising goods unfit for purpose. That they cannot identify which units fall into the percentage is irrelevant.

So a complete product recalled is also required as they cannot issue new batteries to people because you're not allowed to change the battery.

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Rock star physicist Cox: Neutrinos won't help us cheat time

g e
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But but but...

Isn't all speed relative? There's no absolute zero-point of speed to measure anything relative TO is there?

In the LHC, for example you bung some particles in opposite directions round Ye Ringe at 0.8c, say but doesn't one particle 'see' the other (or not, thinking about it) approaching at 1.6c? Relative to itself, of course, but all the same...

So is it then impossible for any object in the universe to 'see' another approaching it at >2.0c ? (obviously photons travelling head on to each other should be at 2c relative).

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Apple pulls games subs app DAYS after approving it

g e
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All your research are belong to us

What's the betting they had to share with crapple to get the app into the store.

As soon as the condition of being in the store was fulfilled and research tithed across it gets yanked.

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McKinnon's mum wins human rights gong

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Angel

Awful headlines

Now, if uk.gov bends over to the united states of americaland the headlines won't be

McKINNON EXTRADITION TO PROCEED

it will be

HOME SEC TRAMPLES ON HUMAN RIGHTS AWARD WINNER'S SON'S FREEDOMS

and fkn right, too. Shallow, lame, feckless and cowardly government that it is.

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