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* Posts by g e

2768 posts • joined 16 Jul 2007

JEDI alliance: Jellyfish overlords won't rule Earth after all

g e
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Black Helicopters

Of course there's no apparent increase

They are hiding in their undersea bunkers awaiting word from High Command

My car is black. Like my helicopter.

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Samsung says no to MWC Galaxy S III launch

g e
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At their own event

They can invite who they want and NOT who they don't want.

They can't deinvite Apple to MWC

That said, the SG3 is the only thing holding me off trying out a Galaxy Note for my impending upgrade

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Zuck plots carefully considered Facebook IPO

g e
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Facepalm

Oh look who won the Crunchies best Social Application!

Hint: It's not Facebook

I'm still offering fifty quid for Facebook, Marko, it's not too late.

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Gov's 'open data' strategy: It'll cost too much and won't work

g e
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I think they'll find

that if they open just the datasets then the Open Source developer community will likely do many of the queries/mashups for them.

Or are they saying they haven't got any boxes capable of the actual workload? I bet Google would loan them a containerful of optimised data-munching servers at a fair price and even promise not to suck at the info out of it.

It does seem to be the Will rather than the Way that's lacking...

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EU snaps on glove, starts formal antitrust probe of Samsung

g e
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An interesting parallel?

Apple are also (technically) in breach of their W3C membership for claiming some HTML5 patent and refusing to share/play-by-the-rules if I remember correctly, too. Something I think the W3C is trying to remind them of, diplomatically, so far.

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g e
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Happy

If that's the case ....

Then Samsung are likely well aware of it and maybe even the investigation is a foregone conclusion in Samsung's favour, effectively, with the investigation being a formality that Samsung expected to take place and yielding the expected result of no wrong-doing which then paves the way for Samsung to do WTF they want with Apple, involving bending over, device banning and expensive licensing to be allowed an *existence* in the EU market and maybe beyond. Apple may well be asking very politely if perhaps they could have the dolly back in the pram, now, please. Yeah Apple can buy their screens from LG or whomever but don't Samsung make the CPU chips in the Apple gear and therefore own the IC designs which mean they sorta own the code if no-one can make a chip to do the same thing without a complete codebase rewrite on Apple's part for another processor?

Don't wake me up, I wanna see how this dream ends...

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iPhone doc will detect cancer, diabetes - boffins

g e
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Time for a new patent

Patent the 'Lick' gesture on a touchscreen mobile device

Samsung, are you listening ?

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New Blighty crime map will track crooks' punishment

g e
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Joke

So, can you search for 'Catholic Churches' ?

</nuff_said>

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g e
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Yeah, ok, except

Those housing price websites will intergrate it and it'll be one click for the Fail Massive to see

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iPads propel Apple to PC market top slot

g e
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Cos most people

Just need Facebook, Email, IM & YouTube, not PC's, as they don't actually DO anything

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g e
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WTF?

WTF?

So tablets are PC's now??? That's crazy.

Yeah it's a Personal Computer in the same sense my damned phone is (though my phone also makes & receives calls, making an iFad less functional), but would you seriously use a tablet to do the stuff you do on a PC?

Yes, compose email. Yes surf the web.

No, non-linear video editing. No, graphics retouching/editing.

Yes I'm sure you CAN edit audio and video on a tablet but you know what I mean. PROPERLY. Even the most awkward and bloody-minded of you lot know what I'm getting at.

If you're including tablets then you must include phones as they have the same functionality in a smaller form factor or does a 'PC' have to have a minimum screen size of, say, an Apple tablet device and no phone ability (until Apple put it in then it MUST have it, presumably) to qualify?

I smell fudge and not in a good way.

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Brit pair deported from US for 'destroy America' tweet

g e
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Riiiiight

Cos all terrorists post their plans on Twitter, right?

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g e
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Joke

Is that the same

CAMEROON who has a mate called ALI who likes to SHOOT semi-nude fireman calendars with the OFFICERS dressed as CIVILIANS for charity?

Ooops I mis-spelt Cameron's name

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g e
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How to DDOS the DHS

What a splendid HowTo, cheers El Reg!

Now, imagine if everyone tweets the a link with the article title intact...

>>Clickety<<

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Climategate ruling: FOIA requests cover backup servers too

g e
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That's cos they like to FLY to summits/conferences

</nuff>

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g e
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Cos most people

Watch Keremy Kyle, X-Factor, think microwaving a plastic tub of goo is 'cooking' and "read" The Sun or (worse) The Daily Fail.

It's called the lowest common denominator and there's a reason virtually all media and politicians pander to it when there's not more advantageous sectors for achieving their specific goal. It's also the demographic that is least able to think for itself, hence why they're happy for media/politics to instruct them on how to live their lives.

Harsh? But likely fair...

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g e
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Stop

Too bloody true.

I don't believe any eco-mentalist stuff because you never know these days who is behind it and with what financial motive. Things seem to be getting warmer but given that we're only 93M miles from a gigantic unshielded fusion reactor the man-made argument is weak enough without all the money-grabbing spin-meister shilling going on increasing our cost of living almost daily, essentially because they can.

The lights are on but the curtains are drawn...

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Media groups propose anti-piracy 'code of practice' for UK search

g e
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Fly. Ointment

Come, come, Mr Bond. Surely you don't expect me to believe you want us to have a balanced debate?

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g e
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Facepalm

NO

Because once anyone agrees to this arbitrary code of practice you KNOW the scope creep will begin based upon 'Well, they're already doing THIS, so it's just a small step for them to do THAT with their search engine, too'

Yet again Big Media is in denial and secretly punting the subconscious message of 'buy your media secondhand cos it's the same quality as new'

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Newt Gingrich wants Moon to be 51st US state

g e
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Mushroom

I thought we already were

Given that the British Military seems to be the deniable elite ops arm of US foreign policy, notwithstanding the way UK.gov bends over every time a ranking Yank politican yells drop 'em city-boy.

Are we really still owned by the USA following the cost of hiring them as cannon fodder at the end of WWII with our gold reserve & British US-based businesses? Perhaps if we did something to keep our top boffins and inventors INSIDE the UK for a change...

Kaboom, cos no doubt someone will offer to nuke my scrawny limey ass back to the stoneage for me. As they do.

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g e
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By Newt's reckoning, then

Space is owned by the Russians cos Yuri got there first.

Is he called Newt cos of his brain ?

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IBM demos new nanotech

g e
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WTF?

"utilized to product high performance devices"

Did he really use the noun 'product' as a verb??

It's PRODUCE you numbskull. I bet he's a fan of crappo phrases like 'in-branch', and associated Corporate-verbiage ... more like Copra-verbiage if you ask me ;o)

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Google exec questions Reding's 'Right to be forgotten' pledge

g e
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Has anyone wondered

If this fairly odd piece of law has actually been quietly lobbied into place by celebs who're worried about their 'off brand' activites getting published?

Mind you there's many 'celebs' who really should be forgotten forever, most of them participate in 'reality tv'...

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g e
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Joke

I will defend my right for Erasure

and Yazoo

and The Pet Shop Boys

...

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Netflix vs Lovefilm

g e
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Netflix won in our house

Have both on the PS3, Lovefilm was clunky unintuitive and had no search (maybe they do now they have competition but a fail is a fail).

Netflix UI is nicer, has lots of TV shows and a better selection of movies than Lovefilm had last time I could be arsed to load it's ugly ass up and fail to find anything I wanted to watch.

Lovefilm's getting canned, don't care about disc rentals.

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Apple and Google ramp up proxy war

g e
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"Google's side wants Apple to leave it alone"

Though if a court happened to hand down a judgement that seriously jiggered up Apple I'm sure they'd not mind so much...

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Try a 'shroom before ruling on chill pills, boffin tells gov

g e
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Careful with that dosage, Eugene

I, for one, can attest to the recreational possibilities of 250 very fresh shrooms....

Beware the dose size!

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g e
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Hah!

Those two qualities alone will make the gubbernment keep the stuff banned

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Starship Voyager dumped into skip

g e
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FAIL

The real issue here is...

WTF she has been paying the mortgage on the place for the last 17 years if she doesn't live there...

That guy's pad has been on the TV and everything, can't be like she didn't know he was Trekking it out.

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SOPA from a distance: multiplying the trade threats

g e
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Stop

Or...

Erect a digital ringfence around the USA. No matter how important the USA likes to think it is to the Rest of the World, it isn't.

Especially when Rest of the World isn't sharing their money with it's digital economy. Maybe even erect a non-US-controlled (non*anyone* controlled) decentralised DNS system, to boot (no I don't have any architectural suggestions as to how that might work, currently).

The USA, who're they? Ohhh I remember now, are they still going?

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'Space Monkey' craze: Texan students 'get high' by choking each other

g e
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Pint

Yet again

Darwin intervenes where health systems artificially preserve life which without intervention Nature would otherwise have left stillborn...

Balance shall be restored!

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Apple wants to OWN YOUR VERY SOLE

g e
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Haha the craziness of it all

Lookout for idiots dressed in faux brushed-aluminium attire

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Fresh Apple lawsuits target 15 Samsung gadgets

g e
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Absolutely

This is so far past the Streisand Effect it needs it own name.

I'm sure El Reg'ers will have plenty of suggestions!

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g e
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Jesus Christ, Apple

Just FUCK OFF already, you total arseclowns

FFS, if they put the same energy into actually creating shit as they do lawyering at the people who do... (as opposed to recombining existing shit in slightly different ways and putting a faux brushed aluminium PNG on it)

On the up side, though, it makes me REALLY want to buy Samsung gear if it has Apple in this much of a hissy fit... Samsung may as well give their marketing dept the rest of the year off, it's being done for them!

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Iraq demands return of Saddam Hussein's arse

g e
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I thought thought the mental image funny

Coppers.

Interrogating an SAS officer trained to resist interrogation

Oh well, maybe it was funnier in my head...

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Pollution-gobbling molecules in global warming SMACKDOWN

g e
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Poor buggers

They haven't got back to the Drawing Board yet from the last 'oh hang on' discovery some real scientists made...

Hanging onto that 'man made' label in the global warming ecopocalypse (as opposed to it being a natural cycle of the planet) is getting trickier every month... I truly feel for the Quango's and their funding. Not.

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Murdoch slams White House over SOPA in Twitter row

g e
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Xmas cards

Haha. No.

Does it show?

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g e
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FAIL

bowing to lobbying pressure

Which as he knows damn well, is how SOPA got as far as it did in the first place.

Duplicitous, conniving, self-interested, inethical (not a typo), geriatric, oxygen-stealing bastard.

He got out-lobbied and he's crying like a little girl who didn't get the dolly she wanted for Xmas.

Fail. Cos his heart needs to.

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Apple Beijing store egged in botched iPhone 4S launch

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FAIL

Oh dear me

You weren't being in an Apple-approved manner so you're not fit to have our product.

You watch Samsung airlift 1/2 million SG2's in later on today, and fair play to them if they do.

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Footie club sacks striker for homophobic tweet

g e
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Thumb Up

Good.

If only the Premier Division clubs had half the balls to do this with their overpaid cavemen.

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Honda NSX reborn as a hybrid

g e
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Popup schmopup

Popups are just one more thing that can fail, and they bugger up your airflow cos they err... popup :o)

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g e
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Happy

Dear Santa....

I think you know what I'm going to ask for...

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Apple accused of extortion by rival tablet biz

g e
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So, anyway, Florian Mueller aside...

If Apple's action cost the company then surely as part of the process of success the affected company should be able to claim costs & damages from the claimant, incurred during defence of their side of the case, which you'd hope, included financial loss incurred via any penalties wrongly imposed based on the outcome of the case. Plus interest, plus a fair assessment of lost additional revenue had the penalties not been sanctioned. Hope being the key stumbling block, of course...
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NASA halts 'naut flogging Apollo 13 notebook

g e
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Scan and PDF it

Then if NASA claim they own the pysical notebook they can have it. Or, possibly legally do-able, send them a brand new replacement empty notebook to 'cover the cost' of the other.

$388k for a PDF might not pan out but you'd still have exclusive ownership and maybe a hand-signed CD as the delivery medium.

Of course working for NASA probably means they own an IP you generate while under their employ, like most companies, so technically they may well own the calcs, too.

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Intel demos transparent-lid hybrid PC

g e
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WTF?

Palm touch

Err I thought that was already part of touchpad drivers to ignore large-area touches to prevent generating spurious clicks and moves?

e.g. from running 'synclient -l' on the laptop here (Ubuntu, don't even bother trying, Windows users!)

PalmDetect = 0

PalmMinWidth = 9

PalmMinZ = 199

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Huawei uncloaks sleek, slim, sexy smartphones

g e
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Not an iphone killer

The iphone is already playing catchup to LG & Samsung in all aspects bar the logo, probably HTC, too by now as the Desire HD was certainly on par when it came out.

Mind you, unless you believe Apple 'invented' everything they imply they did, the iphone has always been playing catchup with everyone else... SMS forwarding, video recording, 3G, etc, etc all came late to it.

Apple know it, too, that's why they're suing everyone to prevent their phones being made available.

Fanbois can whine and froth all they like but the fact is the object of their affections is now 'last year's' phone compared to the conetition as soon as it c omes out, and no, Siri is not exactly new - people have been piping ASR into text parsing engines and dumping the output into TTS for years, just not on phones.

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Intel ignores Steve Jobs, adds touchscreen to Ultrabook

g e
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Hopefully

Intel will patent something crucial to it and lock Apple out of the ultra-touch-book market without paying a fat tithe to compete, which Apple will ignore reasoning, as usual, that they're Apple so 'fuck off' and then get sued for a billion trillon dollars. And so forth

What goes around comes around.

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Sir Howard's days as Sony prez said to be numbered

g e
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Drafted????

Was he US-born then or is anyone in the USA fair game if they're 'on the soil' ?

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Boffins hack evolution, create SUPERSOLDIER ANTS

g e
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Then one escapes.l..

Breeds, make even superer soldier ants that eventually mutate into the Locust Horde or the Chimera and ransacks the world..

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Apple legal threat to Steve Jobs doll deemed 'bogus'

g e
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I'm sure apple would be happy for it to be sold

If they got 30% of each sale

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