Feeds

* Posts by g e

2763 posts • joined 16 Jul 2007

Black Ops has best videogame ending ever

g e
Silver badge

Portal / Portal 2 not top?!?!?!?!

I guess the cake WAS a lie after all... :o(

Black Ops peed me off with the difficulty settings implementation, don't think I ever finished it.

0
1

Apple 'seeking part makers' for 8in 'iPad Mini'

g e
Silver badge
Meh

Best call Pegatron, then

Seeing as other part makers have seen what's happening with them, I bet they'll be queueing up for some of the same.

1
3

Apple tops Google in 'Reputation Quotient' survey

g e
Silver badge

Table missing...

'Which company are you sickest of hearing about?'

Yeah, they'd top that one, too.

0
1

EU, US sign off on Googorola merger

g e
Silver badge

Cards, chest

Google always plays its cards close to its chest then just releases stuff.

I'm sure someone in Google somewhere knows exactly what the Moto acquisition was for and there's a long-view gameplan whether it's some method they've found of grinding Apple into the dirt, cornering some niche tech they want to move forward with and have ownership of or simply to have a huge cannon to fire back at rectangular lawsuits with. They know, we don't. If we accept that then all we need to do is sit back with popcorn.

Make mine a large tub.

4
3

Apple orders PC builder to 'choose sides' in laptop battle?

g e
Silver badge

Yup it got spun out

So it could do business as it pleased.

Look where it got them - bent over the Apple Barrel, apparently. ASUS will go elsewhere and you can bet other manufacturers will look at this and think 'Nah, cos they'll just be told not to make our gear and we don't need the cost of a manufacturer move in 18 months, we'll go with the other guys'.

Good luck winning NEW customers with everyone thinking that.

Another walking dead company. If that's fandroid bitterness foaming away then it's fewer syllables to say 'reality' instead.

3
5
g e
Silver badge

Cuddly

Like a bag of infected medical sharp waste

9
10
g e
Silver badge

Not sure that

Apple need anyone to - I think they might be doing it all by themselves quite well.

They've already ceased to 'innovate' such as it ever was (accusing Samsung of a 'Following' strategy when they've permanently been playing phone-tech-catchup). They're going out of their way to piss off some of the biggest companies in the world. They're pissing off their suppliers. They're actually starting to piss off their customers, too.

I can envisage a point where certain Asia-region companies decide it's too much trouble to deal with Apple and suddenly they have no displays for their devices, for example, and the only people that will do business with them are demanding several x the price cos they know there's nowhere else for them to go.

You can bake the trendiest bread in the world, but when you attempt to assrape the flour guy....

13
7
g e
Silver badge

True

Whilst beating the company in public to improve pay & working conditions to make themselves look good.

7
5
g e
Silver badge
WTF?

Commercial suicide

You can only make our gear.

Until we don't want you.

Seems like they just want to piss everyone off that they possible can. What a twisted freakish company Apple are.

17
12

Apple demands US ban on Samsung's Galaxy Nexus

g e
Silver badge

Good point

A bit like the MAFIAA expecting entertainment sales to skyrocket if they kill all downloading somehow.Pure fantasy.

They are, however preventing people seeing how superior competitor's devices are, to some extent, therefore stifling competition.

0
1
g e
Silver badge

Actually the Nokia 3310 will do

Available in 2000

Predictive text, voice tagging (hence it must search things on voice input) and you could select numbers in texts to do stuff with.

2
1
g e
Silver badge

Dear Sirs

To: 1 Infinite Loop, Cupertino, United States of Americaland

Yet again I am glad to be able to offer my assistance in your legal dealings.

Please find enclosed a Nokia 6230 from around 2001. I think you'll find it sufficient prior art.

Hugs,

Me.

P.S. shit, sorry, meant to send that to Samsung... my bad

Seriously, though, Apple should get all those patents invalidated from cursory examination of almost any Nokia from around 1999 onwards.

3
2
g e
Silver badge

Cannot be calculated

Damages are too small, insufficient decimal places.

Give them 1 cent.

6
2

Megastar personalities are intellectual property in draft law

g e
Silver badge

Lunacy

qwertyuiop

0
1

Cable thieves wreak havoc for cops, BT punters

g e
Silver badge

Presumably if nicked by the rozzers

BT could claim criminal damages get a massive fine against them (to be unpaid, of course, but leave them perhaps sans accommodation and just with underpants and shoes) and have them detained as a flight risk (or sent back to Romania, as appropriate).

Or maybe tie all the cable round their neck and drop them off in the middle of Dartmoor nekkid. If they walk back to civilisation, consider it time served - they'll surely have a different outlook on copper thieving. Oh, you can't do that cos they 'Have Rights'. damn.

0
2

Sun hacks cuffed after being DOBBED IN by News Corp

g e
Silver badge

Operation Sunset

Would have been a better name

If only that rag would implode under the weight of its own banality... but what would The Lowest Common Demoninator (tm) do for tits, football and politically-biased tittle tattle then ?

2
1

iPads seized from shelves by Chinese officials

g e
Silver badge

Including Fire

some text

0
1
g e
Silver badge

Well they paid up for...

iPhone (Fujitsu?) and iOS (Cisco), if I remembered those right.

So they'd better get their wallet out for iPad and pony up to ProView, too. As they've infringed already I'd hope it ends up being $5 per device sold instead of a flat rate. Make an example of the Western Capitalist, etc, etc. Not like they're gonna move manufacture from Foxconn overnight.

Perhaps they should have gone with a less stupid naming convention from the outset than i+some word from a dictionary.

4
2

Barack Obama: Bland, predictable and cheesy ... on Spotify

g e
Silver badge

Oh God

Doubtless Bono will be quick to stick his kindergarten politician's snout in that trough.

0
1

US and EU regulators will give Googorola the nod soon

g e
Silver badge

Don't laugh!

There's good ebay money in that tablet thing :o)

2
2

Germany stalls over ACTA treaty ratification

g e
Silver badge
Megaphone

What's being forgotten here is

... that it's not so much the content of *this* particular treaty (though I don't like it personally) it's more...

The underhand secretive method it been done in, to paraphrase the UK gov 'Nothing to hide nothing to fear'

It's a foot in the door for Big Media which you *know* will begin to scope creep as soon as it's ratified and THAT is a very very bad thing so slam the door shut and crush the foot, preferably as painfully as possible to make it think twice about coming back any time soon. Big Media wants control of the internet and it's not too fussed about how it gets it.

'We the people' do not support putting the interests of wealthy corporations before our own. We don't want this and you do not do this in OUR name or for OUR benefit.

And so forth.

9
1

EU competition chief threatens patent war smackdown

g e
Silver badge

Seems to me the system worked fine

Till Crapple started dicking around.

This just in from Joaquin's bank statement:

09-Feb-2012 Credit from Apple Inc: $2,000,000.00

4
8

Googorola's desire for iPhone royalties will upset Apple cart

g e
Silver badge

Presumably

The companies give you a written statement of what's covered and what's not.

A license as part of the package is normally a selling point so they'd say, don't you think?

3
1
g e
Silver badge
FAIL

Infringing

If you're infringing then you're not licensed, FRAND or otherwise.

So pay up. If you thought you'd just have to pay backdated FRAND rates instead of a more severe penalty for your infringement then get another lawyer you Klutz. A less smug one, preferably.

You weren't covered and you are liable and it will cost you and that is the law.

4
6

Hackers claim to have penetrated Foxconn backdoor

g e
Silver badge

Lots of emails?

Including ones where Apple acknowledge they know all about conditions at FC and cynically discuss how best to look like they're doing something while keeping costs down and production up?

Someone somewhere must be feeling a bit nervous, I'm sure.

0
2

Life-size Portal gun to shoot onto shelves soon

g e
Silver badge

When life gives you cheap plastic...

Need I say more?

0
1
g e
Silver badge

Ohh but there WAS cake!

Right at the end where the robohand snuffs out the candle on one....

Cake was not lies!

3
1

New driver-snooping satnav could push down UK insurance premiums

g e
Silver badge

Yeah

On the back of an Insurance Organisation lobby

0
1
g e
Silver badge
Meh

They will

You just know it. Or, charge a massive amount for not doing it.

Nothing to hide? Nothing to fear.

It would be nice if one day insurance companies could afford computers that could count into double digits for no claims years, too. Given the premiums they charge you'd think they could support no claims back to the birth of the Universe by now.

7
1
g e
Silver badge

Errr but

How does it know if I've taken the car onto a track? Presumably if buffers stuff & sends it to the SatNav next connection, perhaps if the satnav is on then it knows where you are and disregards data.

Mind you I don't pay anywhere near £1k insurance either, thankfully...

0
1

Revealed: Apple's plea for fairness in mobile patent war

g e
Silver badge
FAIL

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*breathe*

So, maybe their idiot lawyer just worked out they fecked up massively and that Samsung actually have them over a barrel with the whole FRAND whinge unless they can change the barrel itself!

Go Saaaamsung! Go Saaaamsung! Go Saaaamsung!

25
9

Russians drill into buried 20 million-year-old Antarctic lake

g e
Silver badge

Instructional videos

For people who like to dig up old shit and zap stuff with radiation...

The Thing

The Mummy

The Incredible Hulk

0
1

Apple eyes ISPs to sell 'iTV'

g e
Silver badge
FAIL

Uber Meh

Granted it's not a UK-focussed article but my ISP won't be trying to sell me an iTV (or whatever it gets called in the UK cos we already have an ITV thank you very much). Mostly cos my ISP is SKY, to be fair but if it weren't the answer would be 'OK, so... explain to me why I need to replace my perfectly fine 42" TV and buy some streaming thing in addition to Netflix on my PS3? Oh, cos it's Apple? well why didn't you SAY so at the start! I could have had the last five minutes of my life back. **click**'

(I'm assuming itv will be hardware TV + streaming/cloud subscription, of course)

1
2

Boffins uncloak G-rated teledildonic breakthrough

g e
Silver badge

At last

Jordan may have a business model.

(No not the Middle East Jordan you fools, the one with the comedy fake tits and too much makeup)

0
1

Czechs, Slovaks stall on ACTA

g e
Silver badge

Dear Stupid American Corporations.

You really think a countries like Czecho & Slovakia are going to bend over for this crap when they're only a generation or two out of Soviet oppression?

Losses of Expression & Liberty are too close in memory for these people to give it up for your corporate profit and personal gain.

We owe these guys for standing up where our own nations are too spineless, feeble and US-owned.

8
1
g e
Silver badge

@Old Handle

Get to Prague. Quick-sharp.

You'll never want to leave.

3
1

Scientists weave battery into clothing

g e
Silver badge

A boon to women everywhere!

Prolonged vibrating knicker-lifetime!

2
1

Apple TV surfaces on Best Buy

g e
Silver badge
FAIL

$1499 for a 42" TV?

2005 called, they want their flatscreen TV prices back.

9
1

Anonymous hackers leak Scotland Yard-FBI conference call

g e
Silver badge

Boot, meet other foot

It's OK for them to tap calls willy nilly but shock horror and OUTRAGE!

When they get a bit of their own medecine, eh?

The difference between a legal and illegal wiretap is mostly your job title while you're doing it.

5
1

iPhones yanked from German shelves in Motorola patent war

g e
Silver badge
Joke

Cupertino has been a good deal more chatty lately

Any friend is more than no friends.

Even if it's El Reg ;o)

3
2

Apple iPad beats Amazon Kindle Fire in satisfaction survey

g e
Silver badge
Go

I'd get a Fire, yeah

Dirt cheap, root it, fit Android, etc. Not at all 'ashamed' of not overspending on shiny gadget. Eminently sensible if you ask me but...

I've not seen a tablet from anyone yet that makes me think 'must have', though. The Transformer Prime is kinda nice, the SONY tablet seems good too as does the Galaxy (bar the stupid connections) but must have? No. Not one of them.

I'd still need a laptop to Get Things Done and my Desire HD does a fine job for reading email and other 'tabletty' bits and pieces (like tunes, satnav, reminders, farcebook, G+, ebay, etc) on the move. No way do I need to cart around another gadget that doesn't do some things the phone does and doesn't do a load of things the laptop does and pay hundreds for the privilege. That's just daft.

0
1
g e
Silver badge
Trollface

Meh

Like an Apple device owner would ever CONSIDER scoring it less than 11 out of 10 even if they secretly hated it.

It would be an admission to themselves that they bought techno-tat if nothing else and there one thing an Appleist hates above 'being wrong'...

** Seen to be 'being wrong'. **

Troll cos, well it's not a pro Apple missive (as if mine ever are) so I must be, right?

1
4

Samsung 'Galaxy 4S' pic posted

g e
Silver badge

Apple will drag it in

Just to bog down Samsung

At least they now have one less patent to wave in the air thanks to Germany.

2
1
g e
Silver badge
Go

Haha - 4S

Are Samsung trying to create a meme/whatever of 'Thing 4S' being a replacement for a Thing that turned out to be rumourware, vapourware or just a plain no-show and a lacklustre-by-comparison/expectation 4S version appeared instead?

Like the Jag CX-75 (sp?) that was supposed to run on gas turbines and have a miniscule CO2 footprint and actually turned up with a different engine, that could be a 'Jaguar CX-75 4S', etc

Cunning, if it takes off as an idea... may I suggest : David Cameron's New Britain 4S ?

Or perhaps : Facebook Valuation 4S ?

1
1

Facebook IPO: Boom or bubble?

g e
Silver badge

And how do they measure 'time on site' per user?

I have an FB window open all the time. In a different tab to the one I'm actually USING.

If they measure visiting time on site by their timer fetching background updates then those figures are heavily fraudulent because the lights are indeed on but the curtains are resolutely drawn.

9
1

JEDI alliance: Jellyfish overlords won't rule Earth after all

g e
Silver badge
Black Helicopters

Of course there's no apparent increase

They are hiding in their undersea bunkers awaiting word from High Command

My car is black. Like my helicopter.

0
1

Samsung says no to MWC Galaxy S III launch

g e
Silver badge

At their own event

They can invite who they want and NOT who they don't want.

They can't deinvite Apple to MWC

That said, the SG3 is the only thing holding me off trying out a Galaxy Note for my impending upgrade

2
1

Zuck plots carefully considered Facebook IPO

g e
Silver badge
Facepalm

Oh look who won the Crunchies best Social Application!

Hint: It's not Facebook

I'm still offering fifty quid for Facebook, Marko, it's not too late.

0
1

Gov's 'open data' strategy: It'll cost too much and won't work

g e
Silver badge

I think they'll find

that if they open just the datasets then the Open Source developer community will likely do many of the queries/mashups for them.

Or are they saying they haven't got any boxes capable of the actual workload? I bet Google would loan them a containerful of optimised data-munching servers at a fair price and even promise not to suck at the info out of it.

It does seem to be the Will rather than the Way that's lacking...

0
1

EU snaps on glove, starts formal antitrust probe of Samsung

g e
Silver badge

An interesting parallel?

Apple are also (technically) in breach of their W3C membership for claiming some HTML5 patent and refusing to share/play-by-the-rules if I remember correctly, too. Something I think the W3C is trying to remind them of, diplomatically, so far.

4
1