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* Posts by g e

2772 posts • joined 16 Jul 2007

Apple: We never said Siri would actually work in the UK

g e
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Meh

Re: Apple - pay attention

There is however quite a large amount of 'World' outside the US...

For real, seriously.

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g e
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Facepalm

Re: Apple - pay attention

Or buy an Android phone and install Evi on that instead.

It. Just. Works.

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g e
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FAIL

I should think it reasonable

For a UK user to have their 'Can Search Maps' app to search UK maps.

Especially as their device knows they're in the UK, speaking 'British' English (if they ever had the choice), etc.

I bet it installs stuff in French in France so to assume your device is properly localised is a reasonable thing.

It's half an application. So much for magical/revolutionary/whatever.

Utter fail.

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Threatmetrix founder to fight 'muffin apocalypse'

g e
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Re: As opposed to the 'muffin top apocalypse', a side-effect of increased obesity rates.

Hahah yeah, I interpreted the headline as meaning fat chicks in jeans two sizes too small, too...

Shame someone can't actually fix that...

Anyone want to co-found a 'Take More Pride in Your Appearance' Quango/Research Unit ? Should be able to bag some uk.gov pork for 'studies' and 'awareness'... (pun intended)

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UK will share passenger data with US in Euro deal

g e
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Stop

So what does EU get as a quid pro quo from the USA?

Oh yeah.

Cock in arse.

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US shuts down Canadian gambling site with Verisign's help

g e
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Re: Re: America...

Oh I got the Team America reference alrighty...

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g e
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Flame

Outsourced

Probably because they still own us after we hired them as cannon fodder in the second world war with a load of our gold and all of our US-based international interests...

Oh, and because our government has been spineless and suckup for decades now.

It's the 'Special Relationship' that the UK 'enjoys' with the USA

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g e
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Re: Any with more info on this?

Yep, I should think all those TLD's are now subject to the whims of crazy puritanical God-Botherers and other influencers like Pharma, Media and anyone else with the money to buy legislation.

Always register a .co.uk local style domain as well

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g e
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Or perhaps more simply...

Fuck America

YEAH!

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Blighty's Post Office computer system goes titsup

g e
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Joke

Ten quid

It's 'No space left on device'

:oD

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ISP Be admits crippling iPlayer demand burst its pipes

g e
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Struggling

I struggle to watch Eastenders from the live broadcast.

When I say 'struggle' I mean 'sit through' ...

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Apple snags blockbuster multi-touch patent

g e
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Holmes

Filed in 2008?

I refer my honourable colleagues to the Wikipedia article on 'Microsoft Surface', specifically the History section and the video clip to the right hand side of it.

Conceptualised in 2001, made real in 2003. Multitouch, gestures, everything.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microsoft_Surface

From WP's iPhone entry: "Development of the iPhone began in 2005 with Apple CEO Steve Jobs' direction that Apple engineers investigate touchscreens."

Surely the entire MS Natural Surface thing is prior art to everything everywhere? Or did someone buy the IP from MS ?

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g e
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WTF?

Re: Hang on, though

In fact thinking about it, I bet the screens' data sheets actually have multitouch diagrams in them with examples of use and maybe even some development code to illustrate it in use for system designers.

Most electronics has this, surely this patent is pretty much a photocopy of the manufacturer's (Samsung?) screen's data sheet. You can patent THAT ?

Obviously you can over there. This would be obvious even to my feckless teenage offspring.

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g e
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WTF?

Re: Prior art

Surely Synaptics have been doing the centroid thing for years. They have to know how far your finger has travelled on a touchpad to be able to interpret relative distance which means at some point you have to make some calculation as to the start & endpoints, the obvious way being to work out the rectangle of touched area and calculate its centre.

Plus, if I can explain how to do that in one sentence in an El Reg comment then I'm fairly sure it's *obvious* ...

A bit like touching a touchscreen... USPTO needs a rocket up it. Or a bomb under it. Damn. Now I'm on a child-murdering ricin-peddling AK47-firing gubberment watchlist for being facetious.

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g e
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WTF?

Hang on, though

Apple didn't make or design these screens, right?

So isn't that like me buying PC's from Levono, say, and then patenting a computing device capable of running an operating system and accepting input from a multitude of sensors and devices?

Sounds a bit like patenting driving a car, it's what the car was designed to do.

Bizarre., but then it's Americaland, isn't it. Perhaps everyone should sue the hell out of Apple outside the USA and just ignore the US market. Not like The Rest Of The World is a smaller userbase, is it.

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Linux PC-in-a-stick to cost coders £139

g e
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HDMI-powered?

Shame you can't power it from the HDMI side, I thought HDMI output a 5V feed for low-power stuff?

Perhaps this isn't low-power-enough for that. Maybe I'm confused (not unlikely) :o)

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Proview's Apple iPad rights war goes global, reaches ESSEX

g e
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We need a new El Reg commenter icon

POPCORN!

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Euro banks slam dot-bank plan

g e
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Riiight and what about...

<a href="dodgysite.ro">barclays.bank</a>

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AT&T plan: Let content providers pay your bandwidth bill

g e
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Unhappy

Re: It's a trap!

Absolutely.

Where there's shareholders to please there's hidden fees ;o)

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Asus outs 1920 x 1280 Android ICS tablet

g e
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Go

At last, a pad worth having?

Not one to have to carry a tablet-thing and a laptop (the laptop makes a tablet redundant anyway), this looks like it could finally have the grunt to do both...

Netbeans is SUCH a memory-hog. Off to see if there's any syntax-highlighting Android text-editors...

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Samsung punts smartphone with built-in projector

g e
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Go

Want one!

Well, ok, not THAT one but....

Think Samsung S3 with a 720p (or even 1080p) pico-proj and a bluetooth game controller....

Suddenly you have a portable console with a big screen... I wonder if SONY have thought about this...

Obviously no good for motion-controlled-tappy-screen games (actually, PS3 controller does motion) but presumably the VITA runs stuff like Lumines? (Not read its compatibility spec yet). You get the idea, anyway.

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Facebook denies poaching your text messages on Android

g e
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Re: Re: The fact that I wouldn't be surprised if it were true

Google lubz my info's

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g e
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The fact that I wouldn't be surprised if it were true

Says so much about the reputation FarceBork has earned itself than whether or not it's actually true.

Whenever I tried to do something in the FB app the GPS icon came on.

Uninstalled it.

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g e
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Re: Cyanogen

Which is exactly the sort of feature that must find its way into the Android core.

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Viewsonic risks Apple backlash with Android Phone 4S

g e
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Stop

4S

Apple will probably only get anywhere suing over '4S' if this phone also turns out to be a disappointing anti-climax to what people thought Viewsonic were going to release as it would possibly be copying Apple's 4S too closely.

Plus there's a micro nuclear reactor design by Toshiba called a 4S, some clinical software called 4S-Dawn and a Porsche Carrera 911 4S, all of which, presumably, were less of a disappointment to people...

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Apple chief thinks about his MOUNTAIN OF CASH a lot

g e
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Holmes

"it's more than we need to run the company"

GUFFAW

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Global warming COULD SHRINK THE HUMAN RACE

g e
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Go

Re: Re: It's already happened

I didn't want to stereotype the good burgers (sic, snigger) of Cov and hoped to give them an excuse for their diminutive stature via the Church of Climatology.

However my thinly veiled ruse has been uncovered and the truth duly outed!

:oD

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g e
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It's already happened

Go to Willenhall, Coventry. Everyone's about 5 foot tall.

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iPad owners 'considerably richer than yow'

g e
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Go

Confirming the demographic

When you have A, B, C1, C2, D, E you must also now consider the 'MMTS' band .. More Money Than Sense.

A demographic Apple has been mining all along with absolute genius. Much as I abhor Apple products their psychological marketing approach & execution is undeniably godlike.

One reason (of quite a few) why I don't want anything Apple makes is because I know people would pigeonhole me in that demographic as quickly as a chap may eye a blonde and think 'phwoar' with no regard to whether she has any personality or not under that attractive exterior.

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Intel joins The Document Foundation, pushes LibreOffice

g e
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Facepalm

Not just about MS

What about sticking it to Oracle a bit cos of the whole itanium thing?

I may be confused, however... OOO is Apache, can't remember the Oracle connection, hence facepalm, pre-emptively

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Cloud altitude changing with climate: NZ study

g e
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A pattern is emerging

The planet seems able to defend itself against the actions of a few scurrying clothes-wearing techno-apes...

Who'd have thought something as big as a planet wouldn't be massively affected by fuel-burning monkeys over the span of 300 or so years.

Gosh.

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Schmidt's $1.45bn Google stock sale compelled by adultery?

g e
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How amicable is that, then

When you have to cash in 1.5Bn?

They must be *great* friends to want to do that voluntarily.

More like she found a hot Latino waiter and thought 'feck I can get a massive settlement and get young hot cock for several years, too, if I play my cards right'

Cynical? Me?

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Court rejects Tesla’s latest libel spat with Top Gear

g e
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TG flat battery

IIRC, it was stated that the pushing of the Tesla into the garage on the show was *illustrative* of what would happen if you ran out of electrons, which would be true. I don't actually remember them saying it DID run out.

No-one moaned when they did that run from Bern(?) to Manchester for turning on some lights on one tank of fuel and the petrol cars ran out. No, cos THAT's WHAT HAPPENS when you run out of go-juice in a car.

Seems like Tesla have bigger problems on their hands than the context of a TG soundbite, anyway. Stuff em.

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g e
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Happy

Re: Re: What a giant, giant muppet

May I humbly suggest a matt black Sesto Elemento and forget the EV thing.

Park it next to pretty much anything other than a 458, aston or veyron and you'll get the all looks...

Still saving here, might be a while...

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Freetard-friendly MP allegedly cuffed after scrap in Commons bar

g e
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"drinks were spilled"

To The Tower with him!!!

Sounds like he's a bit of and independant-thinking type, how the hell did he get past the vetting process to be an MP ? (seriously, you don't think they're vetted?)

Anyway, he was only doing what everyone else wants to do. He could argue he was 'speaking on behalf of his constituents' I'm sure.

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Microsoft blasts 'web video killer' Motorola Mobility in EU gripe

g e
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Only because it's cheaper

to pay the M$ tithe than a pay patent lawyer to prove you don't have to

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Proview offers Apple peace talks amid Shanghai iPad ban bid

g e
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Edit

Cupertino hopes the Guangdong High Court will see American sense

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Megaupload honcho sprung from slammer (for now)

g e
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Re: "new evidence"?

Maybe someone grew some and told Americaland to fuck off and find criminals harming people instead of their beloved shareholders and their crazy copy=deprivation theories. You know like actual theft (permanently depriving a person of something which is different to copying it), murder, rape, drug-peddling, etc

Yeah, I know, unlikely.

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An iPad in every pot, says Anna Bligh

g e
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I can save them a load of money...

Use an Android tab.

Seriously 'Use the most expensive, locked-in and proprietary tablet variant you can get?' Tax dollars well-spent by a government yet again. (OK SONY might be dearer, haven't checked)

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Microsoft claims Google bypassed its browser privacy too

g e
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So in other words

Apple and Microsoft admit privacy flaws in their browsers, blame Google for them.

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Pirate Bay AND its users violate labels' copyright - judge

g e
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Buy your media secondhand

There. I said it.

Again ;o)

OK some stuff is not the same secondhand (games with used-up online redemption codes, etc) but CD's, DVD's .. all the same so long as the packaging is in good nick. Take someone's no-longer-wanted purchase off them for a great price and keep that sale away from Big Media. If you want to make sure the 'artist' benefits then buy a t-shirt, go to a gig, send them an Xmas card with a fiver in it.

Which reminds me... you watch the secondhand games market take a shit-kicking when the next gen of consoles come out. The games won't be any cheaper, either, even though they're largely free to distribute online through XBOX market, etc.

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Apple goes to European Commission with complaint about Motorola

g e
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So how come

No-one else has complained about Samsung or Moto FRAND arrangements then if they're playing fast and loose with them.

Could it actually be that Apple were offered agreements on the same basis as everyone else and refused them thinking it was above paying for things or that it knew better?

I'm damned sure Nokia, Sagem, LG, Ericksson, SONY, et al would all have had something to say if anyone was doing anything other than playing by the rules.

I think Apple are trying to shirk their commitment and are reckoning that the lawyers, only costing a couple of million for this case maybe, are a cheap gamble if it gets them out of a massive arrears payment which DOESN'T have to be FRAND-based due to their willful infringement.

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iPad 3 chip leak squeaks dual-core tweaks

g e
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week 46

Yeah but that chip could have been on a shelf somewhere for a week or two, surely? You'd not have a conveyor belt from the chip plant into the assembly plant, you'd have to have a stock buffer in case the chip fab broke down which would instantly halt production while it was fixed. Your stock buffer hopefully lets you fix the fab or bring a secondary (dearer) temporary fab into play while it's fixed.

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g e
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Re: Re: Re: mehPad

Which is exactly what Samsung are doing with their ('enyx', 'exynon'? can't remember) chip I think.

4 Cores for wide-awake processing grunt, a fifth low-power one for tick-over and background bits.

I would expect the SG3 to be incredibly responsive and any tablet using that Tegra-style multicore tech, also.

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g e
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Meh

mehPad

I'll see your piffling alleged 2 cores and raise you a Samsung Galaxy S3 with its alleged 4-and-a-bit cores.

Doubtless Samsung are waiting for Apple to drop the mehPad on their pavlovian-slavering fanbase before they drop the Tab2 on the world with a bazillion cores and rams and pixels and stuffage.

When guys like Samsung and Sony are making such nice gear (watch the hardware specs rocket past anything fruity this year, possibly also LG & HTC too) the iPad is less of a mehPad and more of a whyPad. Plus you can always switch to a SONY/HTC/LG/etc and *keep your apps*

No I don't care if you think Android has inferior apps, likelihood is you never tried any anyway.

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Brit student locked up for Facebook source code hack

g e
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"extract the software blueprints"

Well, there's no way anyone would want the UI 'blueprints' for sure...

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Football rights value soars in wake of TV Now lawsuit

g e
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Absolutely

Along with Football (soccer), Football (from Americaland), Golf and Athletics.

Perhaps Celebrity-Get-Me-Paid-For-This and Look-At-Our-Lack-Of-Talent and co could all feck off to their own channel, too.

Then I might dare to turn the TV back without selecting the PS3 input first...

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'Exploitative' Proview slammed by trademark judge ... in 2010

g e
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Even so

It still doesn't mean they don't legally own the trademark does it. Though I guess they could possibly be stripped of ownership for fraud or something ?

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Apple lands slide-to-unlock patent blow on Motorola

g e
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Prior art

The bolt on my back gate.

I hope google's face unlock patent (assuming they have one) prevents Apple ever doing it cos you know they wish they'd 'invented' that one.

Slide to unlock is also bloody obvious on a touchscreen if you ask me, hardly an 'innovation'. They may as well claim to have patented drag-and-drop

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Lumpy nanoparticles improve thin film solar cells

g e
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Happy

If you're cunning

** Prior Art Alert! **

You can control the efficiency of the cells thereby having a knob that adjusts the opacity of the window, too... (window blind manufacturers won't thank you, though)

You heard it here first ;o)

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