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* Posts by g e

2737 posts • joined 16 Jul 2007

New iPad 4G data connection will only work in America

g e
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Meh

What?

You mean there's "stuff" outside of America?

Say it ain't so!

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Top Brit authors turn flamethrowers on barmy IPO

g e
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WTF?

Ooookaayyyy

So it's OK for the gov to steal royalties from starving artisans but not joe public when a rich (and generous-to-politicans) corporation gets its shit downloaded by Joe Public who may never actually have bought it otherwise anyway...

Tidy, as they say in the Western Land of the Druids

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The one tiny slip that put LulzSec chief Sabu in the FBI's pocket

g e
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" because just once"

So, actually, a fabulous-tastic advertisement for TOR for free

Nice :oD

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'The new iPad' revealed: Full specs, rumor scorecard

g e
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Re: In essence...

Woo.

Abacus - Calculator

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g e
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Dare I venture...

The iPad Meh-s

If they'd called it the iPad2s the meme would be complete...

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Samsung celebrates iPad 3 day by suing Apple AGAIN

g e
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Joke

Chuckle

Perhaps a video of baristas queueing outside a store would be appropriate also?

:oD

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Steve Jobs' death clears way for Apple-Android peace talks

g e
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Meh

"abandon its policy"

So it now thinks it's more profitable to settle/play ball than sue.

Presumably either they've identified a gaping infringement liability in their stuff, realised they risk getting a shedload of patent invalidated or have noticed that a lot of people are being put off buying apple stuff by, errr... apple.

They don't strike me as a company that would play fair when there was $50 profit to be made.

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Katie Price's teasing 'strapline reveal' avoids bust

g e
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Pint

Snickers is completely pointless

Jordan doubly so

(Props to Douglas Adams, posthumous pint)

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Dabs warns staff: Your roles are 'at risk of redundancy'

g e
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Sounds like

the legal hoops HR have to go through in the process of making people redundant, consultation phases are mandatory, I believe, as are a few other things and all these things have to be seen and documented to be done before you can actually make people redundant otherwise you leave yourself open for unfair dismissal or a bunch of other no-win-no-fee lawyering from the dismissed.

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Two Brits in court over Michael Jackson back catalogue hack

g e
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Black Helicopters

Ummmm

How did they identify the perps? Did they have static IP's or something?

Or perhaps this is how long DHCP records are kept for (at least...), which is somewhat revealing

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Apple claims its 'innovation' creates 514,000 US jobs

g e
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Trollface

But they DO innovate

And remember this is me, Mr Confirmed Apple Hater saying this.

They have surely made made innovative leaps in the discipline of patent <strike>trolling</strike> lawyering.

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Tony Blair closes RSA 2012, denounces WikiLeaks

g e
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Mushroom

Politicians need privacy

To do the self-serving sneaky shit they do without fear of being outed.

Can you actually get a Doctorate in disingenuity these days cos they all seem to have one.

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Now Apple opens fire on EPAD trademark in China

g e
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Stop

Sue Clare Rayner

For her PantyPads with wings

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Blighty's fast mobe broadband in music wrecking probe

g e
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Pint

Dude...

You said 'mobe' ...

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Weeing Frenchman sues Google over Street View photo

g e
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Bigot

Quel surnom!

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Apple: We never said Siri would actually work in the UK

g e
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Meh

Re: Apple - pay attention

There is however quite a large amount of 'World' outside the US...

For real, seriously.

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g e
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Facepalm

Re: Apple - pay attention

Or buy an Android phone and install Evi on that instead.

It. Just. Works.

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g e
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FAIL

I should think it reasonable

For a UK user to have their 'Can Search Maps' app to search UK maps.

Especially as their device knows they're in the UK, speaking 'British' English (if they ever had the choice), etc.

I bet it installs stuff in French in France so to assume your device is properly localised is a reasonable thing.

It's half an application. So much for magical/revolutionary/whatever.

Utter fail.

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Threatmetrix founder to fight 'muffin apocalypse'

g e
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Re: As opposed to the 'muffin top apocalypse', a side-effect of increased obesity rates.

Hahah yeah, I interpreted the headline as meaning fat chicks in jeans two sizes too small, too...

Shame someone can't actually fix that...

Anyone want to co-found a 'Take More Pride in Your Appearance' Quango/Research Unit ? Should be able to bag some uk.gov pork for 'studies' and 'awareness'... (pun intended)

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UK will share passenger data with US in Euro deal

g e
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Stop

So what does EU get as a quid pro quo from the USA?

Oh yeah.

Cock in arse.

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US shuts down Canadian gambling site with Verisign's help

g e
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Re: Re: America...

Oh I got the Team America reference alrighty...

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g e
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Flame

Outsourced

Probably because they still own us after we hired them as cannon fodder in the second world war with a load of our gold and all of our US-based international interests...

Oh, and because our government has been spineless and suckup for decades now.

It's the 'Special Relationship' that the UK 'enjoys' with the USA

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g e
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Re: Any with more info on this?

Yep, I should think all those TLD's are now subject to the whims of crazy puritanical God-Botherers and other influencers like Pharma, Media and anyone else with the money to buy legislation.

Always register a .co.uk local style domain as well

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g e
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Or perhaps more simply...

Fuck America

YEAH!

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Blighty's Post Office computer system goes titsup

g e
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Joke

Ten quid

It's 'No space left on device'

:oD

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ISP Be admits crippling iPlayer demand burst its pipes

g e
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Struggling

I struggle to watch Eastenders from the live broadcast.

When I say 'struggle' I mean 'sit through' ...

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Apple snags blockbuster multi-touch patent

g e
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Holmes

Filed in 2008?

I refer my honourable colleagues to the Wikipedia article on 'Microsoft Surface', specifically the History section and the video clip to the right hand side of it.

Conceptualised in 2001, made real in 2003. Multitouch, gestures, everything.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microsoft_Surface

From WP's iPhone entry: "Development of the iPhone began in 2005 with Apple CEO Steve Jobs' direction that Apple engineers investigate touchscreens."

Surely the entire MS Natural Surface thing is prior art to everything everywhere? Or did someone buy the IP from MS ?

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g e
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WTF?

Re: Hang on, though

In fact thinking about it, I bet the screens' data sheets actually have multitouch diagrams in them with examples of use and maybe even some development code to illustrate it in use for system designers.

Most electronics has this, surely this patent is pretty much a photocopy of the manufacturer's (Samsung?) screen's data sheet. You can patent THAT ?

Obviously you can over there. This would be obvious even to my feckless teenage offspring.

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g e
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WTF?

Re: Prior art

Surely Synaptics have been doing the centroid thing for years. They have to know how far your finger has travelled on a touchpad to be able to interpret relative distance which means at some point you have to make some calculation as to the start & endpoints, the obvious way being to work out the rectangle of touched area and calculate its centre.

Plus, if I can explain how to do that in one sentence in an El Reg comment then I'm fairly sure it's *obvious* ...

A bit like touching a touchscreen... USPTO needs a rocket up it. Or a bomb under it. Damn. Now I'm on a child-murdering ricin-peddling AK47-firing gubberment watchlist for being facetious.

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g e
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WTF?

Hang on, though

Apple didn't make or design these screens, right?

So isn't that like me buying PC's from Levono, say, and then patenting a computing device capable of running an operating system and accepting input from a multitude of sensors and devices?

Sounds a bit like patenting driving a car, it's what the car was designed to do.

Bizarre., but then it's Americaland, isn't it. Perhaps everyone should sue the hell out of Apple outside the USA and just ignore the US market. Not like The Rest Of The World is a smaller userbase, is it.

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Linux PC-in-a-stick to cost coders £139

g e
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HDMI-powered?

Shame you can't power it from the HDMI side, I thought HDMI output a 5V feed for low-power stuff?

Perhaps this isn't low-power-enough for that. Maybe I'm confused (not unlikely) :o)

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Proview's Apple iPad rights war goes global, reaches ESSEX

g e
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We need a new El Reg commenter icon

POPCORN!

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Euro banks slam dot-bank plan

g e
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Riiight and what about...

<a href="dodgysite.ro">barclays.bank</a>

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AT&T plan: Let content providers pay your bandwidth bill

g e
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Unhappy

Re: It's a trap!

Absolutely.

Where there's shareholders to please there's hidden fees ;o)

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Asus outs 1920 x 1280 Android ICS tablet

g e
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Go

At last, a pad worth having?

Not one to have to carry a tablet-thing and a laptop (the laptop makes a tablet redundant anyway), this looks like it could finally have the grunt to do both...

Netbeans is SUCH a memory-hog. Off to see if there's any syntax-highlighting Android text-editors...

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Samsung punts smartphone with built-in projector

g e
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Go

Want one!

Well, ok, not THAT one but....

Think Samsung S3 with a 720p (or even 1080p) pico-proj and a bluetooth game controller....

Suddenly you have a portable console with a big screen... I wonder if SONY have thought about this...

Obviously no good for motion-controlled-tappy-screen games (actually, PS3 controller does motion) but presumably the VITA runs stuff like Lumines? (Not read its compatibility spec yet). You get the idea, anyway.

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Facebook denies poaching your text messages on Android

g e
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Re: Re: The fact that I wouldn't be surprised if it were true

Google lubz my info's

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g e
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The fact that I wouldn't be surprised if it were true

Says so much about the reputation FarceBork has earned itself than whether or not it's actually true.

Whenever I tried to do something in the FB app the GPS icon came on.

Uninstalled it.

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g e
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Re: Cyanogen

Which is exactly the sort of feature that must find its way into the Android core.

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Viewsonic risks Apple backlash with Android Phone 4S

g e
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Stop

4S

Apple will probably only get anywhere suing over '4S' if this phone also turns out to be a disappointing anti-climax to what people thought Viewsonic were going to release as it would possibly be copying Apple's 4S too closely.

Plus there's a micro nuclear reactor design by Toshiba called a 4S, some clinical software called 4S-Dawn and a Porsche Carrera 911 4S, all of which, presumably, were less of a disappointment to people...

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Apple chief thinks about his MOUNTAIN OF CASH a lot

g e
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Holmes

"it's more than we need to run the company"

GUFFAW

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Global warming COULD SHRINK THE HUMAN RACE

g e
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Go

Re: Re: It's already happened

I didn't want to stereotype the good burgers (sic, snigger) of Cov and hoped to give them an excuse for their diminutive stature via the Church of Climatology.

However my thinly veiled ruse has been uncovered and the truth duly outed!

:oD

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g e
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It's already happened

Go to Willenhall, Coventry. Everyone's about 5 foot tall.

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iPad owners 'considerably richer than yow'

g e
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Go

Confirming the demographic

When you have A, B, C1, C2, D, E you must also now consider the 'MMTS' band .. More Money Than Sense.

A demographic Apple has been mining all along with absolute genius. Much as I abhor Apple products their psychological marketing approach & execution is undeniably godlike.

One reason (of quite a few) why I don't want anything Apple makes is because I know people would pigeonhole me in that demographic as quickly as a chap may eye a blonde and think 'phwoar' with no regard to whether she has any personality or not under that attractive exterior.

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Intel joins The Document Foundation, pushes LibreOffice

g e
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Facepalm

Not just about MS

What about sticking it to Oracle a bit cos of the whole itanium thing?

I may be confused, however... OOO is Apache, can't remember the Oracle connection, hence facepalm, pre-emptively

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Cloud altitude changing with climate: NZ study

g e
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A pattern is emerging

The planet seems able to defend itself against the actions of a few scurrying clothes-wearing techno-apes...

Who'd have thought something as big as a planet wouldn't be massively affected by fuel-burning monkeys over the span of 300 or so years.

Gosh.

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Schmidt's $1.45bn Google stock sale compelled by adultery?

g e
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How amicable is that, then

When you have to cash in 1.5Bn?

They must be *great* friends to want to do that voluntarily.

More like she found a hot Latino waiter and thought 'feck I can get a massive settlement and get young hot cock for several years, too, if I play my cards right'

Cynical? Me?

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Court rejects Tesla’s latest libel spat with Top Gear

g e
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TG flat battery

IIRC, it was stated that the pushing of the Tesla into the garage on the show was *illustrative* of what would happen if you ran out of electrons, which would be true. I don't actually remember them saying it DID run out.

No-one moaned when they did that run from Bern(?) to Manchester for turning on some lights on one tank of fuel and the petrol cars ran out. No, cos THAT's WHAT HAPPENS when you run out of go-juice in a car.

Seems like Tesla have bigger problems on their hands than the context of a TG soundbite, anyway. Stuff em.

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g e
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Happy

Re: Re: What a giant, giant muppet

May I humbly suggest a matt black Sesto Elemento and forget the EV thing.

Park it next to pretty much anything other than a 458, aston or veyron and you'll get the all looks...

Still saving here, might be a while...

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Freetard-friendly MP allegedly cuffed after scrap in Commons bar

g e
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Thumb Up

"drinks were spilled"

To The Tower with him!!!

Sounds like he's a bit of and independant-thinking type, how the hell did he get past the vetting process to be an MP ? (seriously, you don't think they're vetted?)

Anyway, he was only doing what everyone else wants to do. He could argue he was 'speaking on behalf of his constituents' I'm sure.

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