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* Posts by g e

2737 posts • joined 16 Jul 2007

Samsung 'to launch Galaxy S III in US', snubs Apple's ban bid

g e
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FAIL

Stupid Apple

The US phone isn't the same as the UK phone, different CPU for a start isn't it? So crapple are basing a US ban on a different device to what would be entering the US, surely?

Assclowns.

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LinkedIn admits site hack, adds pinch of salt to passwords

g e
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FAIL

Massive fail

Complete and utter Database 101 fail

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Apple seeks resurrection of HTC importation ban

g e
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Facepalm

Crybaby Apple cries like a baby

Refuses to innovate, insists patent lawyering is valid business model for foreseeable future until A. N. Other Corp invents something new they can use in their other-peoples'-tech mashup products.

Mind you, we don't really need to read any reviews any more do we? If crapple seeks a ban on something then it's almost certainly worth having over one of their products.

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Samsung Galaxy Tab 'a harmful drug', says Apple in ban bid fail

g e
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FAIL

Re: lost sale?

Yep, it's the Apple Streisand Effect

Didn't Samsung recently thank Apple for the free publicity in Oz?

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g e
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Holmes

Prior art va any Apple tv patent

The Sharp Aquos on my living room wall. I humbly invite Tim Crook to come and check its corners for roundness and its bezel for blackness. and it screen for screeniness.

My kids used to make noises like Apple do now. When they were about 6 months old and dropped their Pooh/Tigger/Piglet beany toy.

Mind you my kids grew up over the last ten-fifteen years, Apple didn't.

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UK websites: No one bothers with cookie law, why should we?

g e
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They should simply change it

To cover cookies that can track your behaviour outside of the website it was set within, or allow cookies from a TLD to be excused while browsing that TLD.

Surely that would just let normal everyday shortlived session cookies do their thing while 'dealing with' cookies that track your wider behaviour from stuff like FB & Google

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France's biggest Apple reseller sinks: 'Tech titan crushed us'

g e
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Re: Might one enquire...

Still ongoing, presumably.

Apple are busy finding one of their lawyers who can be do something other than patent litigation most likely.

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g e
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FAIL

In the meantime...

Apple sues the soon-to-be-ex employees for trademark abuse...

Whilst cackling maniacally.

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US military gives NASA two better-than-Hubble telescopes

g e
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Joke

Get Zuckerberg to fund it

I'm sure it's worth it to Zuck the Suck just to have robo-controlled satellite-style stereographic space pics to sell make available on his shiny new Instagram. So long as it takes square pictures, of course, and you like your speace pics with a 1970's look.

Mind you Failbook has just plumbed a new record low in price so perhaps he's tightening his belt...

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Oracle verdict double plus good for Linux movement

g e
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Meh

I'd rather see

Trollco's suckered in with a whiff of easy cash then thrashed soundly and very expensively in the courts to the point where they all take up a different job altogether and just fuck off. They don't produce anything, they're just a financial burden on the economy.

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Advertisers slam Microsoft over 'Do not track' decision

g e
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Meh

BOO HOO

Here. Have my crocodile tears, advertisers.

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Microsoft and Nokia dub Google troll moan 'desperate', 'frivolous'

g e
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Holmes

Not a Google fan

I'm sure Google wants to own the world as much as anyone else but I think as an organisation they're generally smarter, understand the long game better and don't start an argument without checking their facts.

As for antitrust investigations all the big companies have their share of that stuff, often instigated by the childish foot-stamping of their competitors, it's how many large companies think you do business these days. Didn't help Oracle, did it.

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g e
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Facepalm

Re: Actually.....

Umm read the article.

They claimed they wouldn't, now they bunged the patents to someone else who is. All Google needs do is show Nokisoft has any involvement in these companies to seriously improve their cry of foul and I'm sure Google have done their homework.

Google likes homework.

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Google to show China what it's missing

g e
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On second thoughts I think I know most of them

Fun

Fairness

Freedom

Amercia

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g e
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Thumb Up

Dish it!

So, the keyword list please, Google.

Come along now. Chop-chop!

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Oracle case crippled after judge rules APIs can’t be copyrighted

g e
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To paraphrase Nelson from The Simpsons...

HA HA

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g e
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Re: a non-trivial result

Just so long as you don't implement my 2+2 methodology to achieve the same result...

-- Love, The Ghost Of Steve Jobs.

:oD

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Google files EU complaint over Nokia/Microsoft patent trolling

g e
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Holmes

Re: Google's Biz Model

Exactly why you should be able to demonstrate you're *implementing* your patents to be able to protect them.

If you didn't invent it and you aren't utilising it in product, which given that you're probably sitting in an apartment in Florida with a PC and a Ferrari parked outside rather than in a management office in a company making real things, then you lose the right to defend it until such time as you're judged to be utilising and then from that point in time only (i.e. not retrospectively) you're allowed to pursue others for infringement.

Yeah, I know. Too sensible. Politicians would lose too many kickbacks if implemented.

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Firm applies for .sucks domain

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Pint

So, is

InMyOpinionTomCruiseIsADelusionalMidgetAndHe.sucks

An expression of free speech and therefore exempt from WIPO/etc claims ?

Friday pint.

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EU politicos put the boot into sickly ACTA

g e
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FAIL

Special relationship...

As oft-mentioned in Spartacus..

Involving bending over, natch

Failure Kingdom

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Amazon's Lovefilm HD shuns Sony fanboys

g e
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Meh

Netflix has the better PS3 UI anyway

So MEH

If you're dumb enough to pay an XBOX Gold subscription ON TOP of your Lovefilm/Netflix sub to be able to use it on that console then you largely deserve what you get. Don't care about HD especially, it's just a bonus, I want to watch the film, not count the pixels.

(Yes I realise people might already pay for gaming anyway on XBOX but if you don't, paying two subs for the benefit of one is lunacy)

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Sony PlayStation 4 will not be download only

g e
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Re: more downloads

That's what ebay's for, let someone else have the benefit of the stuff you no longer need!

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g e
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Re: Good

My exact thought, also.

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Online bookie can't scoop £50k losses made by 5-year-old

g e
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Devil

I would additionally advise

Putting a frigging password on your 'puter and then NOT telling anyone what it jeffing well is.

Especially around your current squeeze's child from her previous liaison with Satan.

Spawn of Satan indeed!

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Who needs Spotify? Samsung launches Music Hub

g e
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WTF?

Two years ago

You'd have laffed your ass of at the suggestion Samsung would become a serious phone competitor to apple.

Not laughing so much at that one now, eh?

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Megaupload founder gets uncuffed

g e
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Things Doctor Who never actually said

Crumbly Wumbly Casey Wasey

Not that he doesn't deserve a kick up the arse but, when it comes to greedy megacorps, these days I'd be on Idi Amin's side if he were still alive and being hounded by the MAFIAA

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Netherlands jumps off ACTA train

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Go

Excellent

Fuck ACTA and its megacorp self-interested sponsors.

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Samsung refreshes ChromeOS hardware with first desktop system

g e
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FAIL

My thoughts exactly. If it were a cheap take-on-holiday gadget that let you access email and share your snaps then that's top banana.

For £150 absolute tops. Needs to be cheaper than a netbook for sure.

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Samsung snafu grounds blue Galaxy S III

g e
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FAIL

Bugger

I don't want a white one.

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Facebook phone tagged for 2013 release

g e
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Facepalm

Re: Only 35% of those polled trust Facebook !!!

Well, if FB want to order 5M units, I'm sure HTC will happily supply.

Which leave branding, apps and underlying platform to Failbook to dictate, presumably with their usual incredible stupidity, based on the web UI which is truly awful.

Given that they have, truly, one of the worst search algorithms (based on the crap it calls results) ever devised by mankind I shouldn't think a phone would be any threat to HTC/Samsung/LG/SONY/Apple/etc

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g e
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Stop

Who the hell would want a Failbook phone?

It'd just sell all your phone activity & contacts to direct sales droids while asking your Gran what kind of Koala she is via £1.50 SMS.

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UK High Court split over Twitter airport bomb joke

g e
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Coffee/keyboard

FFS!

You could take a machine gun to these humourless petty bastards.

Oh shit, was that incitement?

It really takes three high court judges to work out if the guy was a loonie threat or just venting?Morons. Pathetic. There is no icon disparaging enough.

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SpaceX joy as Space Station robo-arm grabs Dragon's tail

g e
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Facepalm

By the tail?

Looks more like the bellybutton to be honest....

There's something about spaaaace that really brings out the fromage....

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EU beaks to rule on Microsoft's $1.1bn fine appeal in June

g e
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WTF?

Jesus, have they not paid that yet?

Or are they trying to get some back?

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Vatican in pact with Microsoft to initiate world's youths into Office

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Joke

Re: Ambigous paragraph

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled off...

Was to head up the Catholic Church.

Where's Kevin Spacey when you need him!

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g e
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Joke

Quick! Phone Dan Brown!

I thank you....

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Ex-Lloyds bank digital security chief 'submitted £2.5m in false exes'

g e
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Joke

Fox in charge of Henhouse

If she's a hottie that's your perfect headline ;o)

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Motorola Mobility loses to Microsoft in German patent battle

g e
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WTF?

Really/ MS owns that?

That's a really old OTA protocol for SMS if I remember right (and got my acronyms right) which allows you to set a number of messages and the individual message's number in the sequence in the header of each SMS so your phone can reassemble it.

I'd really have thought Nokia or Moto would have had that one.

Plus it's bleedin' obvious, too, and I'd have thought it would be FRAND, also due to its commonality in every phone for the last 15-odd years? Maybe it's the WAY Microsoft did it, e.g. only on Tuesdays after a particularly satisfying bowel movement, that makes it different if not the same thing.

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g e
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Joke

Re: And which

That's OK, the speed limit in the UK is 110mph on motorways

Errr.. isn't it ?

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Canary Islands host long-distance quantum teleportation

g e
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Happy

Can the next pair please be named

Wheatley and GladOS in homage to Portal, please?

Space. SpaceSpaceSpace. Spaaaace. Space.

I thank you.

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Facebook underwriters accused of hiding forecast

g e
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FAIL

Re: Look on the bright side

I read something yesterday that Thompson valued it internally at $9.50/share so it could have a loooong way to drop yet.

Even $9.50 is way overpriced, imho... I'd value it seriously at maybe $2BN, sarcastically at about 37p which is still possibly more than I'd pay for the whole shebang though I can afford to lose 37p.

The real tragedy IMHO is that all these fuckers with 40BN dollars to squander in evaporating share prices would be better putting that kind of cash into advancing the human fucking race.

You know.. 40BN of medical research, space exploration, alternative energy, etc.

#Failbook cos it needs to trend. #Fraudbook even.

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What's copying your music really worth to you?

g e
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Megaphone

Missed the boat by years

Big Meeja have had years to get over themselves and bring themselves into the online age.

Now they deserve the results of their failure to act, when everyone has been telling them to for a decade, to bite them squarely on the arse.

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Zuck weds self to lady friend in surprise ceremony

g e
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Meh

Wow.

They both look ecstatically happy.

Not.

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Pakistan blocks Twitter, then changes its mind

g e
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Facepalm

Re: I object to stupid people

In the sketch the guy got into the cupboard/chest/etc whenever someone said 'mattress' I think and to get him out everyone else had to get into the fishtank and sing Jerusalem.

So yeah more of a getting into the tea-chest moment really, thinking about it, but the fishtank is a funnier image and no-one would have got the reference without that! (Apart from Hardline Python Fundamentalists, of course, who, it is rumoured, cannot suffer to see an image of a dead parrot ;o)

Facepalm for remembering it the wrong way round!

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g e
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FAIL

I object to stupid people

But I see them everywhere....

Seriously though, any religion that does the equivalent of putting it hands over its ears, closing its eyes and going LALALALALALALALA whenever something it doesn't like comes along needs to grow up, move out of the dark ages, etc, etc.

The Catholics would be stuffed if they hadn't matured past THAT particular stage ;o)

Perhaps they need to declare electroma-tricity the tool of the infidel and chuck all their comms gear out so they reduce their chance of accidentally having to do the equivalent of getting into the fishtank and singing Jerusalem (Monty Python ref for those not in the know)

Fail cos well, if you wanna live in the dark ages that's fine but don't expect to be able to do it with interwebs and mobile phones.

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GM snatchback of $10m Facebook ad cash = amateur move

g e
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WTF?

Well presumably...

Like TV advertising where you can tie up broadcast times with web traffic, and Google ads where you have lots of data to correlate, Farcebork also provides some metrics, presumably.

So presumably the metrics GM are getting are nil/insignificant or maybe adverse data based on what their marketing conversion bods are working out vs cash spent.

There, you could have asked me (or pretty much anyone else) and saved all that time writing an article.

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Facebook's Eduardo Saverin: I'm not a tax-dodger

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Big Brother

Re: Insult to middle class Americans?

To paraphrase Team America...

We're America, fuck YOU

Or perhaps to paraphrase Doctor Who...

Crumbly-Wumbly Empirey-Wirey

El Reg needs a $$ greed icon for this stuff!

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Senator probes NASA airfield deal for Google's jets

g e
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Facepalm

Or maybe

The taxpayer is paying $5.2M less for NASA than they otherwise would be.

Whiners are so half-empty.

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$US38 share price values Facebook at US$104b

g e
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Meh

Not buying shares but

I might open a site selling second hand shirts, one previous bubble investor owner.

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