Feeds

* Posts by g e

2658 posts • joined 16 Jul 2007

Facebook phone tagged for 2013 release

g e
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Only 35% of those polled trust Facebook !!!

Well, if FB want to order 5M units, I'm sure HTC will happily supply.

Which leave branding, apps and underlying platform to Failbook to dictate, presumably with their usual incredible stupidity, based on the web UI which is truly awful.

Given that they have, truly, one of the worst search algorithms (based on the crap it calls results) ever devised by mankind I shouldn't think a phone would be any threat to HTC/Samsung/LG/SONY/Apple/etc

2
1
g e
Silver badge
Stop

Who the hell would want a Failbook phone?

It'd just sell all your phone activity & contacts to direct sales droids while asking your Gran what kind of Koala she is via £1.50 SMS.

1
1

UK High Court split over Twitter airport bomb joke

g e
Silver badge
Coffee/keyboard

FFS!

You could take a machine gun to these humourless petty bastards.

Oh shit, was that incitement?

It really takes three high court judges to work out if the guy was a loonie threat or just venting?Morons. Pathetic. There is no icon disparaging enough.

7
1

SpaceX joy as Space Station robo-arm grabs Dragon's tail

g e
Silver badge
Facepalm

By the tail?

Looks more like the bellybutton to be honest....

There's something about spaaaace that really brings out the fromage....

2
1

EU beaks to rule on Microsoft's $1.1bn fine appeal in June

g e
Silver badge
WTF?

Jesus, have they not paid that yet?

Or are they trying to get some back?

5
1

Vatican in pact with Microsoft to initiate world's youths into Office

g e
Silver badge
Joke

Re: Ambigous paragraph

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled off...

Was to head up the Catholic Church.

Where's Kevin Spacey when you need him!

3
2
g e
Silver badge
Joke

Quick! Phone Dan Brown!

I thank you....

1
1

Ex-Lloyds bank digital security chief 'submitted £2.5m in false exes'

g e
Silver badge
Joke

Fox in charge of Henhouse

If she's a hottie that's your perfect headline ;o)

1
1

Motorola Mobility loses to Microsoft in German patent battle

g e
Silver badge
WTF?

Really/ MS owns that?

That's a really old OTA protocol for SMS if I remember right (and got my acronyms right) which allows you to set a number of messages and the individual message's number in the sequence in the header of each SMS so your phone can reassemble it.

I'd really have thought Nokia or Moto would have had that one.

Plus it's bleedin' obvious, too, and I'd have thought it would be FRAND, also due to its commonality in every phone for the last 15-odd years? Maybe it's the WAY Microsoft did it, e.g. only on Tuesdays after a particularly satisfying bowel movement, that makes it different if not the same thing.

5
1
g e
Silver badge
Joke

Re: And which

That's OK, the speed limit in the UK is 110mph on motorways

Errr.. isn't it ?

2
1

Canary Islands host long-distance quantum teleportation

g e
Silver badge
Happy

Can the next pair please be named

Wheatley and GladOS in homage to Portal, please?

Space. SpaceSpaceSpace. Spaaaace. Space.

I thank you.

2
1

Facebook underwriters accused of hiding forecast

g e
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: Look on the bright side

I read something yesterday that Thompson valued it internally at $9.50/share so it could have a loooong way to drop yet.

Even $9.50 is way overpriced, imho... I'd value it seriously at maybe $2BN, sarcastically at about 37p which is still possibly more than I'd pay for the whole shebang though I can afford to lose 37p.

The real tragedy IMHO is that all these fuckers with 40BN dollars to squander in evaporating share prices would be better putting that kind of cash into advancing the human fucking race.

You know.. 40BN of medical research, space exploration, alternative energy, etc.

#Failbook cos it needs to trend. #Fraudbook even.

4
1

What's copying your music really worth to you?

g e
Silver badge
Megaphone

Missed the boat by years

Big Meeja have had years to get over themselves and bring themselves into the online age.

Now they deserve the results of their failure to act, when everyone has been telling them to for a decade, to bite them squarely on the arse.

18
2

Zuck weds self to lady friend in surprise ceremony

g e
Silver badge
Meh

Wow.

They both look ecstatically happy.

Not.

6
2

Pakistan blocks Twitter, then changes its mind

g e
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: I object to stupid people

In the sketch the guy got into the cupboard/chest/etc whenever someone said 'mattress' I think and to get him out everyone else had to get into the fishtank and sing Jerusalem.

So yeah more of a getting into the tea-chest moment really, thinking about it, but the fishtank is a funnier image and no-one would have got the reference without that! (Apart from Hardline Python Fundamentalists, of course, who, it is rumoured, cannot suffer to see an image of a dead parrot ;o)

Facepalm for remembering it the wrong way round!

0
1
g e
Silver badge
FAIL

I object to stupid people

But I see them everywhere....

Seriously though, any religion that does the equivalent of putting it hands over its ears, closing its eyes and going LALALALALALALALA whenever something it doesn't like comes along needs to grow up, move out of the dark ages, etc, etc.

The Catholics would be stuffed if they hadn't matured past THAT particular stage ;o)

Perhaps they need to declare electroma-tricity the tool of the infidel and chuck all their comms gear out so they reduce their chance of accidentally having to do the equivalent of getting into the fishtank and singing Jerusalem (Monty Python ref for those not in the know)

Fail cos well, if you wanna live in the dark ages that's fine but don't expect to be able to do it with interwebs and mobile phones.

1
1

GM snatchback of $10m Facebook ad cash = amateur move

g e
Silver badge
WTF?

Well presumably...

Like TV advertising where you can tie up broadcast times with web traffic, and Google ads where you have lots of data to correlate, Farcebork also provides some metrics, presumably.

So presumably the metrics GM are getting are nil/insignificant or maybe adverse data based on what their marketing conversion bods are working out vs cash spent.

There, you could have asked me (or pretty much anyone else) and saved all that time writing an article.

2
1

Facebook's Eduardo Saverin: I'm not a tax-dodger

g e
Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: Insult to middle class Americans?

To paraphrase Team America...

We're America, fuck YOU

Or perhaps to paraphrase Doctor Who...

Crumbly-Wumbly Empirey-Wirey

El Reg needs a $$ greed icon for this stuff!

5
1

Senator probes NASA airfield deal for Google's jets

g e
Silver badge
Facepalm

Or maybe

The taxpayer is paying $5.2M less for NASA than they otherwise would be.

Whiners are so half-empty.

5
3

$US38 share price values Facebook at US$104b

g e
Silver badge
Meh

Not buying shares but

I might open a site selling second hand shirts, one previous bubble investor owner.

1
1

Pinterest valued at $1.5 BILLION, bags $100m in funding

g e
Silver badge
FAIL

HAHAHAHHAHAHA

That is all

1
1

Watchdog tells Greenpeace to stop 'encouraging anti-social behaviour'

g e
Silver badge
Childcatcher

Antisocial? Give them an ASBO

Not allowed within 50 miles of the UK.

15
3

UK man to spend year in the clink for Facebook account hack

g e
Silver badge
Facepalm

Better off dealing dope, then

Doubt you'd get 12 months for that

2
1

Off-the-shelf forensics tool slurps iPhone data via iCloud

g e
Silver badge

Re: Why no Android phones?

And if you don't?

Just guessing here but crims don't usually give that stuff up so easily do they?

1
1
g e
Silver badge

Re: Sir

Wouldn't they back it up in a room with no signal or a blocked signal to prevent e.g. the user remotely wiping their 'lost' phone when it connected to the network?

0
1
g e
Silver badge

Re: Sir

I suppose the sofwtare might encrypt the data retrieved with a key or some kind of MD5 verification to ensure that version remains untampered should it need to be compared to the original device in the future?

You'd bloody hope so, anyway.

1
1
g e
Silver badge

Why no Android phones?

Are they not worth the effort or are they really more secure than the naysayers would have us believe?

I don't believe they're not worth the effort, so...

3
2

Crooks sell skint fanbois potatoes instead of iPhones

g e
Silver badge
Facepalm

I would ask anyone who may have fallen victim to these two men

To kindly remove themselves from the human gene pool.

Idiots.

1
2

Gates' Corbis busted again for fraud

g e
Silver badge

Re: Question:

Supreme court, isn't it ?

0
1

HTC phones held up at US ports after Apple patent ban

g e
Silver badge
Megaphone

Don't buy USA goods

There. I said it.

Yeah there's maybe Intel chippery in some stuff, etc, you can't hope to avoid that kind of detail but give your money to Korea, Japan, India, etc ... they make perfectly good stuff.

If you don't support a company's behaviour/actions then stop funding it with purchases cos that's its oxygen, your money.

I'm with @Michelle, patents were meant to PROTECT innovation, not strangle it. I seriously hope Samsung hands Apple their own arse this year.

31
3

Google+ dying on its arse – shock new poll

g e
Silver badge
WTF?

Guff

I have loads of activity on my G+ account and I post something most days, too. Also there's no bullshit 'Come and join me on my farm' or 'What kind of Koala are you?' invites.

Perhaps they were paid by Farcebork for that 'survey', to make FB look more important, or they just don't know how to use G+

Let the Farceborkers stay there, tending Koalapeople on their virtual farms. G+ is a much nicer place altogether.

5
2

New Apple keyboard patent may spell trouble for Android

g e
Silver badge
FAIL

If Apple are so clever with keyboards

Then why does their shit still display an uppercase keyboard and highlight letter when you're typing in lower case?

10
1

UK's '£1.2bn software pirates' mostly 'blokes under 34'

g e
Silver badge
FAIL

More crappy stats

And yet again Piracy being equated to REAL LOST SALES for all those poor starving software houses.

I notice they didn't mention business licensing piracy, maybe that wishful cash cow got turned into burgers so now it's blokes under 34 instead.

Fail. Well, it's the BSA, innit.

7
1

iCloud blows away 15 million users for 90 minutes

g e
Silver badge
Joke

Monday, US time

Is that like Tuesday everywhere else?

:oD

1
1

Apple drops '4G' label from new iPad

g e
Silver badge
Pint

"not compatible with Australian..."

Like it's Australia's fault, somehow.

Pint. For all Aussies cos it's not their fault Apple are liars.

2
3

Facebook co-founder renounces US citizenship pre-IPO

g e
Silver badge

To be honest...

Here in the UK I'd do the same thing. The openly corrupt and self-serving UK government does extremely little to merit a tithe on my success.

I'd chuck UK citizenship away in a heartbeat if I could afford to move elsewhere, though it might be more financially expedient to just buy myself a member of the cabinet and maybe pay them 100th of the tax into a personal bank account to have the bill waived.

5
3

UK court rules Nokia infringed patent, Finns party on anyway

g e
Silver badge
Stop

Fresh batteries

For Kneelie Kroes, please!

There's something seriously unpleasant about a business model based on suing people for shit you never had the brains to invent yourself. I should think about the only thing IPTroll IPCOM created was jobs for lawyers.

There's a real need for agreement that if you're not utilising 'your' IP then you don't have the right to defend it or demand a license. In fact if you don't utilise it within 5 years of grant/acquisition it's voided and made fully open.

10
1

Swarm of investors crave 'more shares than Facebook is selling'

g e
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: I wonder if the mole has a financial stake in the success of the IPO?

Actually a bunch of investors getting burnt by what, on the face of it, looks like an overvalued piece of trendy shit is possibly EXACTLY the kick in the arse they need.

0
1
g e
Silver badge
WTF?

Oversubscribed?

Overvalued, more like.

Bubble, meet pin.

5
1

Ten... freeware gems for new PCs

g e
Silver badge

XBMC

Another vote for this great app.

It's looks great and is the only media player I've found on 'doze (and Linux come to think of it) that easily lets you browse standards-compliant non-Microsoft DLNA media servers.

Never got Mediatomb/Ushare to show up under VLC/Media Player/Rhythm Box/Banshee

0
2

Fanbois froth as Apple claims 'iPhone5.com' rights

g e
Silver badge

Re: Well, duh.

Agreed but it's not like Apple didn't know they were going to make an ithing5 is it.

Why didn't they exercise due diligence over their own trademarks and register 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, etc way back.

Each side would seem to be as stupid as the other this time.

1
2

.eu is a Euro domain, for Euro people - top legal bod

g e
Silver badge

Re: I'm sure the US will regard this as a trading barrier

Given that the US will withdraw your .com on a whim I'd never buy one these days - .co.uk for me

I'm sure the .EU ruling is regarded as an act of terrorism or something by the pointyheads in the Pennergarrrrn. Fuck 'em.

3
2

Hands on with the Samsung Galaxy S III

g e
Silver badge
Trollface

Oh, and while I remember

I can switch from my current Manufacturer (HTC) to the Sammy S3 and still use all my installed stuff from the old phone.

Though I get that some people enjoy lock-in like some people get off on BDSM.

12
2
g e
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: The new...

Android users aren't poor.

They just have smarter financial priorities.

17
3
g e
Silver badge

Your move Apple...?

OK, what's the betting on the next Cupertino move being...

A. Innovate

B. Sue

C. None of the above

Seriously, not trolling.

7
3

Bought a new Mac Pro? 1-in-100 chance it'll destroy your data

g e
Silver badge

1%

Sounds like a bloody high fail rate for HD's

Maybe the pallet was dropped or maybe apple are just lying, they have plenty of previous in that respect.

2
3

Samsung shows 'designed for humans' handset

g e
Silver badge

Re: Note vs S3? Hmmm

I tried a Note for a weekend and it was great.

You feel like a cock talking on a phone that huge though... but if you're a bluetoother or micphones user then no prob. The S3 has more grunt though.

1
1
g e
Silver badge

Re: Looks good

Awww Android is top stuff. At least you can change your preference of manufacturer and pretty much keep all your shizzle.

2
1