Surprised there's no mention of driving on the left or that you shouldn't confuse 'fanny' with 'arse' unless you want most English chicks (that you'd take home to yo momma, leastways) to give you a ruddy good punch up the bracket on First Night. [Edit: or 'arse' with 'ass' for that matter though the four-legged friend may be more forgiving, at least]
Sounds like they've been drinking from the Dick van Dyke water fountain. I look forward to a full leaked version in due course.
Mind you I did used to tell directions-to-the-castle-asking US tourists that they should come to the Public Hanging on Sunday as hanging is "still a local by-law in this town, and has a great turnout".