Java

Would it have really been so bad to stick Java on the iPhone? I've got a handful of Java mobile apps I wrote for myself that I don't want to be without.

Blair

And why didn't Tony Blair get the award for his work as Middle East peace envoy?

--- I'm with you lot, what the hell's going on about global warming got to do with world peace???

Next door

Time to start looking locally for pubs next door to McDonalds.

Deja Vu

They say the same every few years but never seem to realise that jobs in science pay rubbish. Have a browse in the New Scientist job section and you'll find a ton of adverts asking for: First or Upper Second Class Honours degree from a top university, relevant PhD + minimum 3 years postdoctoral experience £18-23k.

Warranty

Had his warranty just expired?

@Chris Adams

"inside, where a ring should be, is some cash"

There's only one sort of lady you give cash to as a prelude to "romance"...

Potato Scarface

Great name.

Dirty fingers

"Also given how hygienic most school children are is it really sensible to ask them all to swipe at least one of their fingers on the same scanner as everyone else just before they eat their lunch?"

Given how unhygienic kids are I'd be surprised if the scanners worked at all.. unless they made them wash their hands before using them, which isn't a bad thing at all.

A&R money

"No matter how you slice it, the consequence is a lower gross investment in A&R."

Yeah, they should have released it through a record company and charged £79.99 a copy (I'm sure there are a fair few radiohead fans who would have paid), once sales slump reduce the price slightly and carry on with this procedure until the maximum possible amount of money has been made.

Hide

The black thing is a hide where Marsian twitchers sit and take photos of rovers.

46p is a bargain

"How ironic that these impeccable liberals should be endorsing trickle down economics and contributing to a wider disparity in wealth."

I'd have bought the album if it had cost me £9.99. Since I can legitimately buy it for 46p the rest can go towards going to see an up and coming band play.

Age of universe

"Outwitted by thick people who believe that the world is about 6,000 years old."

A number of years ago I used to work as a research fellow in theoretical physics. I developed a theory that gave me all the results of general relativity and quantum mechanics, the only problem (one which I occasionally mull over on the train, trying to find a fix) is that it also said that the universe was at most 17.02 years old.

Alternatively

A better slgoan would have been "Adopt this dog or we'll kill you".

Analogies

If we must use the car analogy my version is that it's like buying a limo and buying forced to shell out for a driver that's a drunken hooligan who won't take you where you tell him.

Good for him.

Bundling windows and all the other crud is a con.

Mr X has a laptop and wants to upgrade to Vista. He buys the OS. Soon after his laptop breaks. He wants to buy a new laptop and now has to shell out for Vista, which he doesn't want because he already owns it. Forcing people to have bundled OS is even worse than Apple not having replaceable batteries in iPods.

Cunning plan.

By any chance, does their plan to drag up PC prices involve bundling 15 copies of Windows with every machine?

@ Morely Dotes

If by "postage-stamp sized nation" you mean the UK I'll have you know we have plenty of fatties. In your face.

Gas

I reckon the air in the Space Station is the cause of this. Less oxygen could cause the Salmonella bacteria to be more virulent. That or the extra nutrition from all the astronaut farts floating around. Crank up the oxygen levels and fix the filter and then try the experiment again.

@ The Antarctica is the most arid continent

"The Antarctica is the most arid continent on earth.

Yet it contains most of earth's water."

I think you'll find the oceans contain most of the Earth's water.

I bet

Any money that if she'd been left alone to wander around the airport like that she'd have gone to the papers and we'd all have read about the spunky MIT student who exposed serious security flaws. Bl**dy attention seekers.

Harry Potter

Well thanks a bunch for the Deathly Hallows spoiler. Are there any books you're currently reading that I can ruin for you to return the favour?

Free wireless access

You kids don't mention the free wireless access (at 7500 sites in the UK) in your article. What's that all about? Give me some more details. I love Apple (but only owning an aged iBook and a first gen shuffle that I found dropped in a gutter you might not think it) and I need to know.

Life insurance

Do life insurance policies have a clause saying they won't pay out if the person comes back to life?

three

The Three xseries plans come in around 35-40 quid a month and include a fair usage of 1GB a month. I used to be with O2 and switched to Three because O2 couldn't get anywhere near matching these prices. Will be interesting to see what their price plans will be with the iPhone.

Urgh

If it ain't 3G there's no chance in hell I'd get an iPhone.

160GB ipod touch

coming in two months at half the price?

Human Pyramid

Would be better if they made a massive human pyramid out of the stiffs.

Chicks

Most of it is chicks sending emails to each other at work and confusing the intranet with the internet.

A: What d'you think of him?

B: Who?

A: Bloke at the water cooler.

B: Yuck! He works in the IT department!

Can't blame people for taking Homer's advice

In the movie doesn't Homer ask, "Why pay for something you can see for free?"

.kp IS English

Korean (democratic) Peoples' (republic)

@A J Stiles

Worldpay deals with the payment.

Re: Not JUST £3 a search

I don't know what you're talking about. Just this minute I went to the website, entered a postcode, selected a house number, entered credit card details for £3 payment and received a copy of the current title plan of the property I was interested in.

Useful service and simply provides an easier way to get publicly available information.

Re: Imagine the Terrorist Implications!

Or when one of the lab workers flushes a load down the bog and there's a flood.

Trevor's lightbulb moment.

"Bloody Windows. Forty minutes of arsing around for one minute of productive work. It's really f***ing winding me up........... hold on, I've got an idea!"

Great Ideas.

Make it easier for firms to screw over, under pay and over work the average person and create bigger profits for the rich. Excellent.

Think different

I wonder if those remarking that the parents should be killed for wishing a name for their child that differs from the norm are also those that:

1) Were bullied at school and now think that anyone standing out from the crowd is a fair target for brutal attack.

2) Ridicule anyone who'd rather use a Mac than a Window's PC and call them a fanboi.

:)

Rowling

"On topic, JK Rowling has the worst attitude towards her fans of any writer I know of."

Yeah. As a Harry Potter fan I feel cheated that she didn't confirm that Snape was Harry's father.

Loreal

If I have a daughter I'm going to call her L'Oréal.

Keyboard

Had a look at these in the Apple store at lunchtime. They're very attractive bits of kit... although the keyboard is, errr, a bit crappy.. what were they thinking?

Big head

"what happens when more than one person tries to view the screen?"

It chooses the person with the biggest head, obviously.

hmm..

Think I'll give this browser, developed by database experts, a miss. Went to their homepage and got the message:

"Database Error

The current username, password or host was not accepted when the connection to the database was attempted to be established!"

How dumb

Everyone knows UFOs are invisible.

2004 QA22

Apophis is supposed to come 0.09 Lunar distances from Earth. The Near Earth Object Program website says that on Aug 24 2130AD there's an object called "2004 QA22" that's supposed to come 0.0003 Lunar Distances from Earth. Shame I won't be around to see it.

Highly paid

Since most of the Friday afternoon slackers appear to be those with the largest salaries (think the hedge fund managers with their multi-million pound bonuses going for a long lunch and blowing £20k on a bottle of wine on expenses), I reckon the £50m figure is mainly down to them.

Web ads

Is there any regulation for web ads? (I'm thinking of those flashing banner ads that make me feel like puking).

Hardly statistically significant is it?

"One woman claims that it triggered a seizure. You state it as fact that the advert caused it.

I wonder what the odds are that at least one person will have an epileptic fit during a commercial?"

She might have been the only one who survived.

Seriously though, it's usually pretty obvious to a person what caused their photo-sensitive epilepsy.

Simple

A company sets up their advert to say "Sick of this shit? Click on this".

Office 2008

Shouldn't the fact that it's called "Office 2008" have given a hint that it wouldn't be released in 2007?