Posts by Bill Fresher

How big are the tadpoles?

Strange

How strange... I took at look at their website and the NK-T pads look about as different from an iPad as possible for a tablet computer. Especially the MASSIVE shoe-box sized one.

Home wi-fi

As a Westminster resident does this mean I will be able to cancel my O2 home broadband and use the free one?

prrp.

It looks like an enormous toilet seat.

Ehh?

16 pounds in three days? -- dehydration?

Wow

You lot are sour...

Repeat ad nauseum

CBS also appear to have reported the same story in May 2011.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20064865-504083.html

Old and not a one liner

A drunk's wife told him that she'd leave him if he came home smashed again.

One evening he bumps into a good friend he hasn't seen in a long time.

He has much too much to drink and ends up getting sick on himself.

"What am I going to do?" he asks his friend, "If I go home like this she'll leave me".

"Don't worry" his friend tells him, "take this £20 note, put it in your pocket and when your wife asks, tell her some drunk got sick on you and gave you £20 for the dry cleaning".

When he gets home his wife's waiting at the door. "No, no, no! That's it, I'm leaving" she shouts.

"Wait, wait, I didn't drink anything. Some drunk got sick on me, look he gave me £20 for the dry cleaning" the man explains.

"You're holding £40" his wife observes, "what's the other £20 for?"

"That's from the man who shat in my pants".

Do it here

Thank goodness OAPs going for a prostrate exam don't take the same approach in their GPs waiting room.

Artificial planet formation

Looks like Titan A.E. in action.

Bah

Well that's 12 olympic swimming pools that can't be filled.

What a selfish young man.

Uncouth

What!? They allow gentlemen who aren't wearing a tie onto the bus??

Crazy Americans.

Errrr..

Doesn't the Range Rover have a display which shows one image to the driver (eg. Sat-nav) and another to the passenger (eg. DVD film)?

source: Top Gear.

No problem

There appear to be no restrictions on animals riding tube trains here in London, especially during rush hour.

Yawn

It's only a very small amount of mainly fundamentalist christians who believe in the rapture.

Catholics certainly don't believe in it. The “fundamentalist” interpretation of the Rapture doctrine has been rejected. It shouldn't be taken literally.... John Paul II: “We know that the apocalyptic images of the eschatological discourse about the end of all things should be interpreted in light of their intense symbolism.”

Not that this should stop people who worship themselves from insulting everyone who follows a religion.

Could work.

I got a tattoo of a sincere expression tattooed on my mug so that I didn't look so condescending. Got me a job. Might be worth considering for particularly sour faced claimants.

Repetition

Heath Robinson (Brit) did this first and better, but Rube Goldberg (Yank) gets the fame.

Etiquette

I'm stumped... what do the rules of etiquette say one should do when a robot enters one's home uninvited?

I need to know in case I'm ever at home, naked, with my rifle about to shoot off.

Does one stop and offer it some tea and crumpet?

Label every book.

There are plenty of RFID systems for libraries.

Apart from allowing the rapid checking of book order on shelves you can also do quick inventories, speed up the check-in, check-out and protect against theft.

Err

Who is the Assange fellow?

I've never heard of him.

Bah

I say get rid of the fixed time system and use stopwatches. Instead of "see you at 2pm", say "see you in 19 hours, 6 minutes".

LINDSAY

Lunatics Investigating New Design Space Aeroplane Yardstick

Eh?

10 keys on average for men?!

I carry one for my briefcase. What on earth do I need more for?

If I want to get into the house the butler will open the door for me, and if I need to take the car somewhere the chauffeur will take me.

Easy

Time travel is possible and so is memory erasing.

The reason we haven't ecountered time travellers: they erase our memories.

Cluck

Not empathy.... I reckon the chicken thinks it's gonna get puffed next so it gets stressed.

Has anyone...

Has anyone patented the patent?

Bodily Fluids

What any bodily fluids be fit for use in food if they were shown to be free of disease?