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* Posts by Bill Fresher

391 posts • joined 13 Jul 2007

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LOHAN in FIGHT to DEATH with brace of cantankerous canards

Bill Fresher

With this massive build up, if the thing fails when it's launched it'll be worse than watching England play football.

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ET hunter: We will find SPACE ALIENS in 20 years

Bill Fresher

There could just be a completely different way to communicate that we haven't discovered yet -- once we do it might be crammed full of spam messages from billions of worlds advertising their wares.

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Architect of Apple's total-silence public relations policy leaves

Bill Fresher

Re: your milage may vary

"El Reg on the other hand is just as likely to make fun of Apple as they are to sing their praises."

El Reg is a Nokia luva. Every1 nos dat.

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ENTIRE UNIVERSE created in supercomputer. Not THIS universe (probably)

Bill Fresher

Re: We could be in a simulation

You, and everything else, might be simulated, but I know my thoughts are not.

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Marauding quid-a-day nosh hack menaces teepee hippie villages

Bill Fresher

Drinks

What are you chaps doing for drinks? Is it water and tea all week? I notice no one has included squash in their shop.

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Teen girl arrested with 70-year-old man's four inch weapon inside her

Bill Fresher

Re: She looks like...

I think she's very pretty so shut your mouth.

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LOHAN's Punch and Judy show relaunches Thursday

Bill Fresher

10 years later...

(note: start of July it'll be 3 years since special project LOHAN began).

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How to Poo on a Date wins odd book title of the year

Bill Fresher

How is getting a date difficult? I find that, if the lady is single, asking is usually all it takes.

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QUIDOCALYPSE: Blighty braces for £100 MILLION cost of new £1 coin

Bill Fresher

Re: Facebook?

Facebook - so only people who don't have proper jobs can comment.

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Windows XP market share GROWS AGAIN, outstrips Win 8.1 surge

Bill Fresher

XP is the number 1 selling item of Office software on amazon uk....

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Microsoft-Windows-Professional-Service-OEM/dp/B000JTDV6M

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Probe of Hollywood-Euro Pay TV contracts: What happens next?

Bill Fresher

"available in the States? How is that even possible?"

Maybe the BBC want to keep the more recent episodes to show as repeats a few times -- possibly saving more in not having to create new content than they'll gain by licensing to streaming services?

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Nearly 1 in 5 of UK's Xmas gifts were bought online... not that it helped

Bill Fresher

Re: Imagine how much better it could be

My butler signs for all my deliveries - if your butler doesn't I suggest you look to replace him - or if you live in an apartment block then the concierge should be signing for deliveries.

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Whoops! Apple drops kimono, flashes 'FREE' GarageBand for iOS7

Bill Fresher

Garageband?!

Notion's where it's at.

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Smartwatch craze is all just ONE OFF THE WRIST

Bill Fresher

What's with all the f-ing swearing in the f-ing sh-ty article?

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LOHAN cops a faceful of smutronyms

Bill Fresher

Where's my prize?

I have a use for it.

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Bill Fresher

Re: MACHETE

or

Makes Arduino Cut-down Hardware Eliminating Transpiring Endangerment

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Bill Fresher

REDBUTTON

Release Equipment Dave Built Used To Terminate Orbiter Nosedive.

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Bill Fresher

MACHETE

Makes Arduino Cut-down Hardware Ensuing Trip Emergency

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Bill Fresher

PUBE

Promptly Unfasten Balloon Equipment

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Bill Fresher

WANT-MUFF

Whatchamacallit Apparatus Needed To-Manually Unfasten Floating Failure

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WAR ON PORN: UK flicks switch on 'I am a pervert' web filters

Bill Fresher

I assume these filters will also make it impossible for anyone who wants to discuss this legislation online.

"Exchange views on porn filters"

"By typing in these terms you risk losing your job, family and liberty".

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Lenovo ThinkPad Helix Ultrabook: Your new summer convertible?

Bill Fresher

Re: oh, ffs

... and it weighs more than the Macbook Pro!?

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Bill Fresher

Re: oh, ffs

" that's aboit what I paid for my laptop all those years ago"

it's £350 more than I paid for my 13in Macbook Pro Retina!

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LOHAN team girds loins, aims to take SPEARS to heaven again

Bill Fresher

Good luck

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Innovative solution to modern art found: Shoot it into space

Bill Fresher

"I will get one of my first of the morning turds, remold and reshape it, into a turd and fire it into space."

The meteorite came from space and the intention is to send it back into space.

To achieve the same with your turd you would need to reform it and shoot it back up your rear.

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Glasgow subway's new smart tickets aren't, moan passengers

Bill Fresher

"Just zone 1 London underground costs over 30 quid."

I'd happily pay 3 times that if they ever introduced first class carraiges on the tube.

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Russians draw liquid blood from frozen woolly mammoth

Bill Fresher

Re: Revenge of the Mammoths!

Ah, the hairy virus. Also afflicted the Neanderthals - hence explaining their extinction also.

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Apple asked me for my BANK statements, says outraged reader

Bill Fresher

Re: Apple are not the only ones

"It's lived in my wallet since 1999"

"My objective is to avoid the cost / time / hassle of getting a plastic one for as long as possible."

The photo needs to be renewed every ten years so your drivers license is invalid and if you get caught using it you'll get a £1000 fine.

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NEW ITV Player app IS HERE ... for Samsung fandroids only. Ha ha

Bill Fresher

Downvoted for downvoting a downvoter.

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Weary quid-a-day nosh hack fears colonal mass ejection

Bill Fresher

Pushed you over the grand.

Good work.

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... time machine. Iranian Dr Who claims he invented a ...

Bill Fresher

Error

Sounds like they might have made a sign error. Probably wiped the story once they realised they were looking 5 years back in time rather than 5 years forward.

Oh well. Good effort.

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Twenty classic arcade games

Bill Fresher

Bump 'n' Jump

Bump 'n' Jump was the only arcade game I became addicted to. Couldn't stop playing it.

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BlackBerry Q10: This quirky QWERTY will keep loyalists perky

Bill Fresher

Looks very good. Might get one.

I really like my current blackberry. It suits my usage patterns:

SMS, email and occasional web browsing. One other thing I use the phone for is taking the odd rare photograph if I happen across something interesting while out and about and the camera is really quite bad --- any idea what it's like on this one?

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Earth-like planets abound in red dwarf systems

Bill Fresher

Re: why haven't they found us and made contact yet?

Maybe there's a lot more to existence than the observable universe and our animal life. Perhaps the more advanced civilisations are exploring that place.

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Schoolgirl's Hello Kitty catonaut soars to 93,000ft

Bill Fresher
Thumb Up

I also love Hello Kitty.

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Your post which got most Thumbs Up

Bill Fresher

Forum: IT guy answers daughter's Facebook rant by shooting her laptop

Post:

This bloke thinks he can get respect by force.

What a twit.

15 Thumbs up, 50 Thumbs down

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Bill Fresher

Re: Your post which got most Thumbs Up

You mean you don't have to most loved post framed above your bed?!

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Bill Fresher

Your post which got most Thumbs Up

Would be interested to see which of your posts got most thumbs up.

My one is:

In forum: 'Space Monkey' craze: Texan students 'get high' by choking each other

Post:

@jake:

I gave it a go once, but I didn't inhale.

54 Thumbs up

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Aw grandad, I asked for an iPad and you got me an iPod

Bill Fresher

Re: a simple explanation

"She still replied I was equally as mean and controlling though..."

Take her bed away and make her sleep in the floor. That'll teach her.

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Swedish teens GO BERSERK in Instagram sex pic slut riot

Bill Fresher

What's wrong with being a slut? I think they're lovely.

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Badges for Commentards

Bill Fresher

Re: Top 10 badge?

I like this idea.

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Bill Fresher

AC should be a Gold badge user -- they post more than anyone.

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Thumbs down and Comments

Bill Fresher

Whenever I get a thumbs down I huddle up on the floor sobbing. It's the worst injustice I can think of.

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Boffins: Jurassic avians were more like Angry birds than modern ones

Bill Fresher

Re: Not exactly a shock

"Even a difference in survival of 5% would mean the survival trait would be dominant in the population within a couple of generations."

Yes --- when you propagate the 5% difference through the whole species. But, unless it's a super-power, it means f-all for an individual.

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Apple bans 'memory' games from iOS App Store

Bill Fresher

Change Memory to Mammary.

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Teen project sparks WORLD-WIDE PEE-POWERED HYPEGASM!

Bill Fresher

I knew that storing all my urine in bottles in the attic would pay off one day.

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Apple updates iOS 6, Safari

Bill Fresher

Re: You're updating it wrong.

"For example, the update promises to fix a bug that prevents iPhone 5s from installing software updates wirelessly"

Presumably not on the iPhone 5.

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