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* Posts by Lloyd

794 posts • joined 22 Jan 2007

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What’s new in SQL 2014?

Lloyd

The gap between SQL 2008 and 2012

SQL Server 2010 was released as 2008 R2 because Microsoft hadn't finished it in time, so your concept of 2 year release cycles is accurate.

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Whovians, your Doctor needs you: Take back the Day from One Direction

Lloyd

1D????

Who?

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PUNISHMENT gluttons: The Dr Who monsters that come back for more

Lloyd

Bring back the burnt out husk master (after final regeneration or some such nonsense)

He scared the living crud out of me as a kid. Kids these days are too wrapped in cotton wool, we need more stuff like Davros in Doctor Who, make the buggers have nightmares. And while we're on it, bring back The Spirit of Dark and Lonely Water, the kid getting fried getting his frisby from the substation, the kids on the building site, is that a tractor left with the keys in it?

Why are you putting that jacket on me? What sort of a jacket ties up at the back? I'm fine I tell you! What are you doing here doctor? What's that injection for? No, I'm fine, I'm fine I'm...............

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'Daddy, can I use the BLACK iPAD?': Life with the Surface Pro 2

Lloyd

I didn't read the entire article

All I want to know is... does it support any decent 3rd party VPN connections? The original Surface Pro only supported MS VPN connections, no 3rd party support at all (from what I read anyway) and most VPN providers wouldn't touch it with a bargepole. Give me a product I can connect to home and work machines from with the added benefit of playing video plus web surfing and I'll buy it.

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Yet ANOTHER IE 0-day hole found: Malware-flingers already using it for drive-by badness

Lloyd

hmmm, IE, IE, IE???

I know the acronym from somewhere but I just can't quite place it, it must have been quite a while.

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Which Who to view? Pick one from two: Doctor Who twin trailers hit the interwebs

Lloyd

Very little is revealed???

I'd say that it gives away quite a lot about John Hurt's Doctor, mainly that he's so hated because of what he did to stop the time war, although quite what that might be isn't even hinted at.

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Google's Nexus 5: Best smartphone bang for your buck. There, we said it

Lloyd

Re: @Lloyd cheap and nasty

I hadn't noticed that it was magnetic but I've just checked and you're right and I'd wager that you're bang on about the accessories, although quite why anyone would lug a zoom around for a camera of that quality (it's not too bad on low light but for action shots it's all blur).

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Lloyd

Re: cheap and nasty

No, I said it was cheap and nasty, the case looks and feels like a Storage Options Scroll Essential. The screen is beautiful but that's all, the camera on the back is fugly. So presumably if you're not trolling you have one? And you can tell us all what your likes and dislikes are then? And perhaps you could even stop hiding behind a troll account?

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Lloyd

Re: cheap and nasty

I have no idea what a Nokia 2310 even looks like nor do I care. That's the thing about opinions everyone's got one, even if it's just to blatantly troll.

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Lloyd

Undecided as yet

KitKat is a mixed bag. I started doing what I normally do and disable all of the Google services I never use, much to my chagrin half of the phone stopped working, the most crippling being that II turned off hangouts and it disabled text messages. Eventually I found ways and means around a lot of this crap simply by trial and error, I hate the fact that the entire desktop now runs off of the Search service, disable search and it'll turn itself back on as soon as you go to your desktop with the added bonus that it resets your desktop. Saying that it's more fluid than JB and there's some improvements to things like the camera app.

The phone itself is cheap and nasty but the hardware is decent for the price, it's roughly the same size as my Galaxy Nexus but with a larger screen area, decent speakers on the bottom and a seemingly longer battery life. I'm withholding judgement but currently it's "okay".

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SCIENCE and RELIGION AGREE! LIFE and Man ARE from CLAY

Lloyd

Re: SCIENCE and RELIGION AGREE! LIFE and mankind ARE from CLAY

I knew I shouldn't have posted what I perceived to be a smart arsed comment when I'd been down the gym and needed a sugar fix. I take it back and I'm having a Mars bar.

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Lloyd

SCIENCE and RELIGION AGREE! LIFE and mankind ARE from CLAY

< pedant>I think it's more likely that they're MADE from CLAY. I'm assuming that's a typo. </ pedant>

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iPHONE 5S BATTERY: It may NOT just be you, it may be RUBBISH

Lloyd

It's become so easy to mock Apple

That it's now akin to taking the mick out of a "differently abled" kid, it's wrong and I feel dirty doing it.

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Virgin Media only puts limited limits on its Unlimited service

Lloyd

Re: Still throttling by up to 65%

I set up a new SkyDrive connection to upload a load of photos the other day, I'm not sure if it was Virgin or MS but 20GB took 3.5 days, (by my reckoning that's 0.55mbps), it absolutely killed the connection too.

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Z30: The classiest BlackBerry mobe ever ... and possibly the last

Lloyd

Here's the thing

Blackberry does what it should do, works well for corporate users, the problem with that is that every single corporate user I've ever encountered wants an iPhone as their company phone. Not because it fulfills all or even some of what they need it for, simply because it's bling. We had a sales department who told us that we needed an iPhone app because our client base was screaming out for a mobile version of our product (on release it was used by 4 people a week out of a base of 250,000). Of course this meant that they would all need an iPhone to show it to potential clients so we migrated everyone off Blackberry to Apple, cue a massive rise in support calls and lots of blame on "well I can't do that on an iPhone when I'm out on the road".

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Wozniak: Please, whatever you do, DON'T buy me an iPad Air

Lloyd

Re: Rip ......

Surely you mean you could theoretically rip it and store it easily. If you actually did such an outrageous thing it would be illegal and you could be prosecuted by CBS for using something you actually owned albeit in a different format?

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Met Police vid: HIDE your mobes. Pavement BIKER cutpurses on the loose

Lloyd

A bit on the late side for this aren't they?

These tactics have been employed by phone muggers since around 2000, I know, it happened to me outside CPFC in around 2003.

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All cool kids' phones run ALTERNATIVE alternative custom Android ROM

Lloyd

Meh

Cyanogen is great when it works but how often do you update to find that your GPS or wireless no longer work properly? I gave up in the end, went back to the stock firmware and now only buy Nexus devices so that I don't have all of the crapware that the manufacturers stick on top.

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Google: Thanks for the billions in revenue, UK. Here are your taxes, that's ... £11m

Lloyd

This again

It almost mirrors my workplace, lots of finger pointing apportioning the blame to others for following the rules whilst patently ignoring that the problem lies with the rules and rule-makers themselves not with those abiding by them.

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Have PIXmania. In fact, have £59m with it too, Dixons tell German VCs

Lloyd
Pirate

No great loss

I've never known anyone to say anything pleasant about their returns process. I bought a camera from them for my parents which packed up after 3 months, I duly sent it over to Paris (you have to) which cost £22, where it was examined by Canon, who produced an entire report saying that it wasn't covered under warranty. When I queried what exactly was wrong that it wasn't covered under warranty Pixmania said that they would email me the report but it would cost £20, so I asked for the camera back, that'll be £30 postage please. Eventually I just gave up and bought my parents a new camera, far easier than dealing with that bunch of rip off merchants.

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Travel much? DON'T buy a Samsung Galaxy Note 3

Lloyd

It's almost as though......

The EU based Mobile networks have realised that they're getting shafted by people buying foreign sim cards and are asking mobile manufacturers to stop it, but surely they wouldn't be that unscrupulous would they? Oh hold on, I was talking about mobile network operators wasn't I, ignore that last bit, they're all crunts.

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Grand Theft Auto V: Violent, sweary and amazingly ambitious

Lloyd

And....

Am I the only one who finds GTA a bit.... well boring to be honest?

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Lloyd

Re: 'The likes of .. BioShock Infinite have lifted the bar'

Infinite was a better than the original but still too easy.

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El Reg seeks new mobile, wireless tech writer - could it be YOU?

Lloyd

I'd love to do it

Unfortunately I've not been able to look favorably on mobiles since the time I slipped in the shower and ended up in the emergency room.

For the 17th time.

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Sofas with a roof and Star Trek seating: The future of office furniture?

Lloyd

Yeah right

Has anyone worked for a company where anyone outside of the boardroom has high concept furniture? Most of the places I've worked you're lucky if you can find a chair that's got the requisite number of legs.

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Cisco email accidentally sent to 1000s of employees causes message list MAYHEM

Lloyd

Similar experience

I worked for a subsidiary of a certain Blue Bank and some noob sent an email to the "all Company" group (which covered every UK branch, head office, etc) asking a question (something like "does anyone know where the printer ink is"). Cue much "why is this coming to me?", "please stop emailing me" emails, which was stopped very, very quickly by an email from the CEO's PA, which simply introduced herself and stated that everyone should stop responding, the email was obviously an error and to leave it alone. It was a very clever email, it came across as a school teacher scolding children but with the added backing of "carry on and you'll be dragged in to see the CEO" but managing to leave the threat heavily implied without being threatening. kudos to her the trail stopped dead and everyone got on with their lives.

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Phil Collins' daughter 'will give you A VIRUS' – security bods

Lloyd

Is that why I've gone bald?

Have I got the Collins virus?

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£250k fine for dumping council workers' files in Tesco bins, er, binned

Lloyd

So what you're saying is

That government bodies at every level are inept? Who knew? Next thing you know we'll have politicians distorting the truth to fit their own agenda (or someone else's if they've been paid enough).

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Myst: 20 years of point-and-click adventuring

Lloyd

Meh

Whilst Myst was visually stunning, I seem to remember becoming very bored, very quickly because it was very slow and clunky, and my machine spec would have been well above average (these were the pre-marriage days when I had such extravagances as disposable income).

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Loads of mis-sold PPI, but WHO will claim? This man's paid to find out

Lloyd
Coat

“I read an interesting number the other day"

Was it 5318008?

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Horrific moment curvy mum-of-none Mail Online spills everyone's data

Lloyd
Trollface

People use real details?

How odd, why would anyone do such a thing?

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Sony refuses to flog off Spider-Man lab and other entertainment wings

Lloyd

Re: If they'd sell the entertainment tail, the hardware dog might be more appealing

Not to mention the nice audio DRM watermarks now.

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AMD's newest chip: Another step toward 'transformation'

Lloyd
Thumb Up

Re: AMD vs Intel

Well said. You've just made me go and google Cyrix, I always wondered what happened to those guys, they made cheap chips which "nearly" outperformed Intel's own.

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You MERCILESS FIEND... you put that audio file on AUTOPLAY

Lloyd
Coat

Re: Hellraiser

As I've already said, he wrote the screenplay for the film Hellraiser but that was based on The Hellbound Heart which I don't believe there is commercial novelisation of, therefore whilst he did "write" Hellraiser, it has stage directions in it, if that's what floats your boat and you enjoy that kind of thing then certainly you can read it, I'd wager it's probably a lot more enjoyable to watch though.

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Lloyd
Windows

Re: Hellraiser

Yeah, the basic plot's the same, but Hellraiser itself is obviously much more fleshed out (pun intended), my point really being that the written aspect wasn't called Hellraiser (and obviously that I'm a pedant).

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Lloyd

Hellraiser

<pedantry="on"> Technically Clive Barker didn't write Hellraiser, he based the screenplay on his short story the Hellbouond Heart which is one of the Books of Blood. So I think you should really be saying "I suppose a copy of our Old MacDonald could have inspired Clive Barker to write the Hellbound Heart which he later rewrote as the screenplay for Hellraiser.<pedantry="off">.

Yes, you're right, I need to get out more.

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Weird interview questions

Lloyd
Thumb Up

Re: How about

Well, that's kind of when I got bored and came up with the claustrophobia BS, I thought "if you're going to persist in being stupid then I will be too".

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Lloyd
Facepalm

How about

Q. So, let me give you a situation and see how you respond.

A. Okay.

Q. It's 3am and you're in the office, you have a 9am deadline and the code you're working on is failing.

A. Okay

Q. What do you do?

A. You mean fix it?

Q. No, everything you've tried has failed you've exhausted all options.

A. So, I'd start looking for answer on the web, starting with a simple search, ending with asking questions in forums.

Q. The internet's down.

A. Okay, so I'd phone someone I knew who'd be awake here or in a different timezone and put the question to them or ask them to post for me.

Q. The phone system's down.

A. Okay, I'd go outside of the building and use the phone or the internet.

Q. The door's are locked.

A. I'd climb out the window.

Q. The windows are all sealed.

A. Okay, so let me get this straight, I'm in a darkened office, alone with no means of external contact and no way of leaving the office and I've exhausted every possibility I'd can think of for fixing the code?

Q. Yes.

A. Okay, I'm claustrophobic and I'm starting to have a panic attack.

Q. What?

A. Well, you wanted me to relate your scenario, I've done everything I can think of and obviously I'm not going to get anywhere because it appears that every piece of technology in the office has broken. At the end of the day I want to go home, but it appears I'm locked in the building with no means of exit, I'm claustrophobic so I'm very likely to start having a panic attack at this point.

Q. Um, okay, I think we'll call it a close there.

I think the answer they were after was "keep trying different things until it works", but surely this is negated by the "you've exhausted all options"? All in all it was a complete BS interview given by marketing hipsters who seemingly knew nothing about IT.

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New in Android 4.3: At last we get a grip on privacy-invading crApps

Lloyd

Does it block adverts

You know like Ad Blocker is supposed to (but falls over constantly)?

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Sky falling: 119,000 Brits flee O2, Be after Murdoch broadband gobble

Lloyd

They are offering great deals at the moment though

For example my mother was offered Unlimited Fibre, phone line with free calls and tv including free sports for £25 a month. Yesterday their Orangutan turned up to fit it:

- Nah, can't get TV reception

Okay, I'll just take the Fibre and landline then.

- Oh, unfortunately the exchange has somehow now miraculously oversubscribed.

Okay, bye, bye.

- Wait, but we can offer you the same package as you had before at the same price.

Bye bye now.

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BOFH: Don't be afraid - we won't hurt your delicate, flimsy inkjet printer

Lloyd

I'd laugh

If it weren't all so true and genuinely depressing, still at least I can take the opportunity to say that inkjet printer manufacturers are all bastards.

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Guinness: Have a quick bonk over the bar and receive FREE BEER

Lloyd

London????

Really? You have the most densely populated are in the country to pick a bar from and you come up with a pub in Watford? Maybe they've gone for the places rated with the least NFC phones?

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Amazon's profit-eating machine revs into overdrive

Lloyd

Oh come one now

I don't shop at Amazon precisely because they've rarely turned a "profit" for tax purposes, bizarrely, I've now discovered it's actually generally cheaper to buy my books elsewhere, Sainsbury's Entertainment tend to be pretty cheap plus they pay tax, have free delivery and the same pre-order guarantee as Amazon (lowest price).

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Burger-rage horse dumps on McDonald's: Rider saddled with fat fine

Lloyd
Stop

Re: Does anyone know

"If you try to obtain a burger while on foot at these restaurants you will be refused - you have to have a motor vehicle in order to obtain a burger!"

Incorrect, I have been served as a pedestrian at the McDonalds drive through window of the McDonalds in Wandsworth after a large number of alcoholic beverages in a nearby drinking establishment (the Ship) when the main restaurant has been closed, I'm not proud of the fact but in fairness I was drunk, as was everyone else in the queue (yes, there's always a queue of drunk people when the pub shuts).

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PHWOAR! Huh! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing, Prime Minister

Lloyd

There is an upside

I suppose at least one good thing will come out of this, the IT literacy of teenage boys will increase as they find more ways around the pron blocks. Parents will NEVER be able to stop teenage boys insatiable desire for pron.

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Fever pitch as Dublin tar drop fall captured by webcam

Lloyd
Mushroom

That reminds me

I'd best go and check on the missus, she's been in the loo a very long time.

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Brazilians strip Amazon of brazen .amazon gTLD grab bid

Lloyd
Thumb Up

ICANN turned down money?????

Good Lord whatever next? Amazon paying tax? Had they got the domain they would obviously have written the ICANN fee off against tax.

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Unreal: Epic’s would-be Doom... er... Quake killer

Lloyd

Agreed

It was dull, despite multiple attempts I could never get into it, compared to things like Quake, Doom, System Shock, etc I was indifferent. Graphics aren't everything.

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'Thundering mechanical behemoth' walker mech to attack Leicester today

Lloyd

Capper???

From the state of it surely there's an R missing is there not?

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Gadgets are NOT the perfect gift for REAL men

Lloyd
Holmes

I'd like to think that my wife would never buy me tech

She knows bugger all about it and would invariably buy the wrong thing, she's also sensible enough to know that. She did however get me a signed photo of Bruce Campbell which has pride of place in the dining room.

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