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* Posts by Graham Marsden

4740 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

DON'T BREW THAT CUPPA! Your kettle could be a SPAMBOT

Graham Marsden
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@I ain't Spartacus - Re: Where's my tinfoil hat...

What kind of sucker do you think I am...

(OUCH!)

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Graham Marsden
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Black Helicopters

Where's my tinfoil hat...

... my kettle is spying on me and I'm sure it's telling the toster and the microwave my secrets too...!!!

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Google tired of endless AGONY over alleged EU search biz abuse

Graham Marsden
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Re: Yawn.....

Here we go again...

The fact is that, for most people, Google is not just *a* search engine, it is *the* search engine. Do you "search" for something online or do you "google" it?

When a company is in such a market dominating position as Google is, it is no longer sufficient to say "well people can go somewhere else" because most people don't even know that there is anywhere else to go in the first place.

So they go to Google, expecting to get at least a semblence of impartiality in their search results, but, instead, get Google's preferred service at the top and others relegated to lower position *even if* those others might actually have had higher organic result rankings and that is an abuse of a monopoly position, just as it was when Microsoft restricted the browser choice market.

The fact of the matter is that monopolies are generally very bad for consumers because they end up restricting choice and that is the point at which regulators need to step in.

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Dino-boffins discover 100-million-year-old BIRD TRACKS in Australia

Graham Marsden
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Joke

And I thought...

... this was going to be about a bunch of Sheilas in furry bikinis...

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You've spent $1,500 on Glass. Now Google wants you to sell more specs

Graham Marsden
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Alert

"it will come with a mono ear-bud...

"...to better plug folk into the company's ad-backed internet systems"

Wasn't there a Doctor Who episode like that?

(Ok, I know it was really two ear buds with glowing blue lights...)

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Singaporeans BEG government to block website

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@NomNomNom - Re: Finally

You are free to have as many Commandments as you want. You are free to obey as many of them as you want. I respect your (and their) right to do this.

All I, and others who think like me, would like is that *YOU* respect *OUR* right to have different beliefs and not have you and your ilk telling us that we can't do something because you don't like it.

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Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

W... T... F....???

So is it that the petitioners are so incapable of controlling themselves and their browsing habits that they want the Government to block this site because they fear that if they accidentally visit it, they'll instantly be sucked into a world of infidelity?

Or is it that *they* are Paragons of Moral Virtue but fear that their partners are not (or, at least, don't trust them or are incredibly insecure about the strength of their relationships) that they want it banned Just In Case someone else is corrupted by its seductive message...?

Or maybe it's just another example of "Please ban this to stop someone else from doing something which *I* know they shouldn't be doing"?

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Serco CEO walks the plank as firm fights off Ministry of Justice probe

Graham Marsden
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"The CEO at scandal-hit outsourcing monster Serco has quit..."

... with nothing more than a £1.1 million pay-off, about £5 million in shares and a £2.2 million pension pot.

My heart bleeds for him.

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EU tsars rubbish Brit PM over attempt to delay beefed-up privacy rules

Graham Marsden
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"Cameron's Conservative party have promised...

"...to hold a referendum on Britain's relationship with the EU after the general election of 2015, if they're elected with a majority"... in a desperate attempt to claw back the right wing extremist voters who are defecting to UKIP...

FTFY.

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AJAX thread voting

Graham Marsden
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Re: It's sorta working

How about the upvote registering without the page re-setting to put the message at the top of the page?

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Only a merciful BULLET can really save a RHINO, say Texas hunters

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Alternatively...

... get the winning bidder, stick him, unarmed, in the middle of the savannah and then give everyone else the chance to shoot at him...!

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In a meeting with a woman? For pity's sake DON'T READ THIS

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Re: Sorry, could you repeat that story?

Well I think that...

... hang on, let me just check this incoming text...

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Study: Arctic warming at 'stunning' rate – highest temps in 44,000 years

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Send a copy to Lewis...

(We still need that Popcorn icon!)

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Why Bletchley Park could never happen today

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Just because you can spy on everyone...

... doesn't mean that you should.

The problem is that the Security Services see their job as "protecting the country" and they'll protect it so much that whatever made it worth living here in the first place gets trampled underfoot in the process.

Meanwhile they're telling the government "Look, X, Y and Z happened (or could have happened) because we weren't able to read everyone's mail/ monitor everyone's phone calls/ check what website people are visiting/ see who's talking to whom etc etc" and claming that the only way they can prevent terrorist attacks is to be allowed to do anything they want and trough huge amounts of information on everyone in the hope that, by making a bigger haystack they can find some more needles and, regrettably, our governments keep falling for this.

Fortunately for us, the little people, there are a few people who actually have a conscience and believe that the right of Freedom of Expression and the right not to have the State snoop on everything people are doing is more important than preventing "terrorist atrocities" which are actually less likely to kill you than you being struck by lightning.

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HAD IT with Planet Earth? There are 12 alien worlds left to try out

Graham Marsden
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@Evil Auditor - Re: Great news!

"what's the point of spreading our life beyond earth?"

"Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans."

- Douglas Adams - The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Alternatively:

"[T]here's one thing every scientist on the planet agrees on. Whether it happens in a hundred years or a thousand years or a million years, eventually our Sun will grow cold and go out. When that happens, it won't just take us. It'll take Marilyn Monroe, and Lao-Tzu, and Einstein, and Morobuto, and Buddy Holly, and Aristophanes, and - all of this - all of this - was for nothing. Unless we go to the stars."

- Commander Sinclair - Babylon 5

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NASA, start your torrents: 622 Mbps broadband link FOUND ON MOON

Graham Marsden
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But what happens...

... if we suddenly find out that "That's no moon" and it start shooting back at us...?

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Call yourself a 'hacker', watch your ex-boss seize your PC without warning

Graham Marsden
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So...

... if someone refers to themselves as a "Gangsta"...?

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Pimp my office: 10 cubicle comforts

Graham Marsden
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Flame

Re: Phillips monitor

It's when it starts adding "And brush your hair", "don't pick your nose" or "that tie doesn't go with that shirt" for example that defenestration is imminent...

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Brit PM raps Facebook for allowing GORY beheading vids

Graham Marsden
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@AC Re: it was "irresponsible of Facebook to post beheading videos"

The point is that David Cameron wants to pass laws based on his inadequate and incomplete knowledge of how something works.

As many have already pointed out in other discussions, his idea of "mandatory filters" that we would have to opt-out of will do virtually nothing to protect anyone (they would almost certainly not have stopped anyone seeing this particular video clip), yet, despite this, he no doubt still thinks it's a good idea.

If he doesn't understand a subject, he should get proper information from those as to whether his proposals are sensible or not, rather than jump on an emotion-laden band-wagon in the desperate attempt to show that he "cares" when the evidence shows that he doesn't actually seem to give a damn about anyone who isn't rich.

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

it was "irresponsible of Facebook to post beheading videos"

And once again Call me David reveals that he's utterly clueless about how the internet works.

But I have little doubt that he will use this as just another justification for his mandatory porn (and anything else he doesn't like) filters...

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Pirate Bay captain pleads with Swedes: Don't make me walk Danish plank

Graham Marsden
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Re: Human rights

Paragraph 2 of Article 5 of the European Convention on Human Rights says:

2. Everyone who is arrested shall be informed promptly, in a language which he understands, of the reasons for his arrest and of any charge against him.

This is re-iterated in Paragraph 3 of Article 6:

3.Everyone charged with a criminal offence has the following minimum rights:

(a) to be informed promptly, in a language which he understands and in detail, of the nature and cause of the accusation against him;

Additionally Article 4 of Protocol 7 prohibits the re-trial of anyone who has already been finally acquitted or convicted of a particular offence.

So, it doesn't matter whether you struggle to comprehend these rights or not, they are what he is entitled to.

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Sueball-happy patent biz slaps lawsuits on FOURTEEN tech firms

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Nice products you've got there, Squire...

... be a shame if anything happened to them, know what I mean?

Now if you were to sign up for our very affordable on-going insurance policy...

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Chrome for the slurp-weary: Cookie-binning Aviator browser arrives

Graham Marsden
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Alert

Interesting...

... not least because someone from El Reg asked me to stop plugging Ad Blockers in my comments because "we have to make a living"...

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Met Police vid: HIDE your mobes. Pavement BIKER cutpurses on the loose

Graham Marsden
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Re: Surely ...

Lol! That's a good one, tell us another...!

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Feds charge Vietnamese suspect with slurp'n'flog of half-a-million Americans' ID data

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Fullz?

Sounds like Bullz to me...

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Jury smacks Qualcomm for UNLAWFUL TECH in iPhone, Galaxy chips

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Re: Their next move...

The enemy of our enemy...

... is just someone we haven't sued yet!

(*Well, recently, anyway...)

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Torrent site isoHunt to close

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

“To what extent should a Web search engine be held to 'cause' infringement"

But they do! In the same way that cars cause speeding and knives cause stabbings and guns cause shootings and...

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Reg reader's nipper takes felt pens to Vulture 2

Graham Marsden
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Re: FELT TIP

Painted Aerial Navigator Tones In Expressive Scheme

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EC: NSA slurps scare you? Europe's clouds are open for business

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@HMB - Re: Hahaha, Oh wait, they're serious.

Well I've just downvoted you because whilst you may "believe" that "a lot of people are working hard to keep us safe and have almost certainly averted some major disasters", it's actually up to you to demonstrate the validity of this belief, not up to anyone else to show that you are wrong. (BTW I have a magic stone that protects me against alligator bites. It must work, because I've never been bitten by an alligator...)

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Leaky security could scuttle global ship-tracking system

Graham Marsden
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Prior art...

... see Superman III for details.

(Actually, don't, it's a pretty crap film!)

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Feline OVERLORDS ditch camera-toting human servants, film selfie vids

Graham Marsden
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Re: Urban dictionary has it about right @ Ben Rosenthal

Dogs come when called.

Cats have answerphones.

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Rorschach test suggested as CAPTCHA replacement

Graham Marsden
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Coat

That's a bird...

... that's a horse with a hat on.

- William Shatner in Airplane II

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Assange: 'Ecuadorian embassy staff are like my family'

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Re: Marsbarbrain Personally...

Oh dear, Matt, most people got over the fact that the first four letters of my surname are the same as the first four letters of a popular chocolate product back in school.

As for the rest of your post, please, get yourself a sense of humour.

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Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Personally...

... I'd love to arrange with theatrical and model hire agencies for a large number of tall, thin, blond guys to wander in and out of the Ecuadorian Embassy all day and all night, just so the Met Police can feel like they're actually *doing* something by stopping them all and checking that it's not JA trying to sneak out..

.

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Whodathunkit? Media barons slit own throats in anti-freetard crackdowns

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

"Hollywood could slash piracy rates...

"...by simply making its content easily and legally available,"

See icon for details.

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BBC's Clangers returns in £5m 'New Age' remake

Graham Marsden
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Re: So, the BBC CAN still sink lower

It's no myth... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OvefhhMbbg

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Coming soon to Twitter: Inboxes BULGING with DMs from world+dog

Graham Marsden
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@AC

"The feature is completely opt-in"...

... at present!

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Smile for the cops! Sexy Snapchat selfies' self-destruct scrubbed by search warrants

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

@Vociferous - Re: I take it we're talking pedos trading CP here?

Ah, yes. Those wonderful laws that are designed to "protect" children by criminalising them...

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Osborne to China: Keep watching Downton and we'll gloss over Huawei security worries

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Down

George Osborne...

... is only interested in helping line the pockets of his rich mates whilst everyone else gets screwed. Hence why small investors only got a fraction of the shares they wanted in his massively underpriced Post Office sell-off, whilst the big institutions got all the shares they wanted and a tidy profit as the price rocketted!

PS interesting factoid: A professional dominatrix is about to publish a book which features George Osborne. A few days ago, out of the blue, she was raided by the Drugs Squad. Odd co-incidence, that...

See http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/10/13/natalie-rowe-mistress-pain-george-osborne_n_4093138.html fpr details.

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Google peered through Glass during solar race

Graham Marsden
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@handle - Re: "discretely"

As someone pointed out to me after I asked the same question, it's now at the top of the Comments page right next to Post Your Comment and House Rules :-)

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Biometrics not so trustworthy: False Samsung stock-pump buy draws Swedish cops

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Of course you realise...

... that if press releases had to be biometrically confirmed...

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NASA's Jupiter probe wakes up after unexpected snooze

Graham Marsden
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Alert

"It is possible some of the messages...

"...sent to the probe by radio hams here on Earth may have caused the original problems with the probe."

Did someone discover a buffer overflow error...?

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Wanna be Zuckerberg's neighbor? Tough luck, he bought the block for $30m

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

A Zucker...

... sorry, Sucker and his money soon are parted...!

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Boffins find MEXICAN WAVE pattern in random climate wobbles

Graham Marsden
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Headmaster

"Standing Wave"?

Correct me if my recollection of o-level physics is wrong, but I thought a standing wave is one that oscillates in place, ie the peak of the wave remains in the location.

A Mexican Wave AIUI is a transverse wave where the oscillation is at 90 degrees to the direction of travel of the peak as it moves around the stadium...

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YouTube turns on dormant DRM, permits official downloads

Graham Marsden
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"The business was built on copyright theft"

Yes, keep trotting out the Big Media Party Line...

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21st Century Elite remake to support Oculus Rift virtual reality rig

Graham Marsden
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Go

Re: *Blue Danube starts playing*

Personally I always found the run between Qutiri and Isinor to be the best to start off with.

Reasonable tech levels so not too many pirates and you could run Computers one way and Liquor and Furs the other to start building up enough credit to get some decent equipment :-)

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Graham Marsden
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Thumb Up

Right on...

... Commander!

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Who here needs to explain things to ELEPHANTS?

Graham Marsden
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Paris Hilton

"an ancient African tradiation of animals"

Tradiation? What happened to the "send corrections" button? (Or weren't enough people using it??)

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Digital 'activists' scramble to build Silk Road 2.0, but drug kingpins are spooked

Graham Marsden
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Re: Marsbarbrain Destroyed All Braincells The smell of hypocrisy in the morning

Lol! Matt, I am well aware of the futility of trying to have a reasonable discussion with you. I will, occasionally, post a comment or two for the amusement of watching you doing your utmost to avoid conceding even the slightest point, but this is not one of those occasions.

As always, I'll leave the last word to you...

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BBC announces plans to spend your cash on digital goodies

Graham Marsden
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@AC - Well said!

I agree. Yes, the BBC produces some rubbish, but it also produces some excellent dramas too and documentaries as well.

How many "commercial" channels would dare to produce the sorts of fascinating documentaries and similar factual programming that appears on BBC 4?

Their attitude would be "oh no, too niche, too obscure, we wouldn't get enough people watching to cover the costs and get advertising in. A series on Australian art? Too boring. Medieval Lives? Who would want to watch that? "Pain, pus and poisons" Eww! No way!!

Or what about "Only Connect"? No whooping audience (hell, no audience at all!), no big prizes, no flashy graphics or flashing lights, just some seriously brain-teasing puzzles.

Sure, programmes like these aren't to everyone's taste, but at least such programming *is* available, rather than endless variations on Britain's Got Strictly Big Brother through a Hole in the Wall on Ice...

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