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* Posts by Graham Marsden

5015 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

DNA database swells despite human rights ruling

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@Alex D

> Is it such a bad idea for the police to have a database of DNA?

Ask Raymond Easton, the guy who, although suffering from Parkinsons Disease (which meant that he could barely walk to the front door unaided) was, none the less, arrested by Swindon Police on behalf of Greater Manchester Police because his DNA was "found" at the scene of a burglary. Except it turned out that it wasn't his DNA and it was a false positive.

http://archive.thisiswiltshire.co.uk/2000/8/15/238098.html

The fact that the guy was virtually immobile appeared to be utterly irrelevant to the Police, who in their simple minded way, decided that because there was a DNA match, he *must* have been the criminal.

Now imagine that you sneeze into a hanky, someone else steals that hanky and drops it a the scene of a crime. "Oho!" says Mr Plod, "Let's check our database... Aha! Mr Alex D I arrest you for the crime of not thinking a bit more about the risks of false positives..."

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Kent Police clamp down on tall photographers

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Flash Mob!

Why not have someone "look suspcious" in Chatham High street by taking a few photos, then, as soon as Plod starts taking exception, have another 50 photographers all grab cameras out of their bags etc and start taking pictures of the PC/ PCSO...!

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MontaVista boasts 1-second Linux boot

Graham Marsden
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@Dave 31

Don't forget the BBC Micro.

Bee-Beep!

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Save journalism, online newspaper publishers beg EC

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

a small piece of code...

... which would instruct these services to ignore the pages.

You mean like robots.txt...?

And if they still want "the attention search engines bring", why not have an un-robots.txt blocked section that has the headlines and nothing else, so people have to click on the headline and visit their site to get the article...?

Not exactly rocket science.

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Italian bride's bouquet downs ultralight

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Mode = Rocky Horror

I really loved the skillful way,

You beat the other girls to the bride's bouquet...

... erm...

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Cyclists offered cut-price shag at German brothel

Graham Marsden
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Joke

Two nuns on a penny-farthing...

... one says to the other "I"ve never come this way before"...

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US thesp to attempt audacious tw*tdangle

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Snickers bars - sponsors of Feeding America

Hmm, tell us about the nutritional value of Snickers bars. (Don't forget to mention the high sugar content which encourages obesity...)

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Mobile directory blames press for latest failure

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Oh dear, how sad...

... too bad!

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Did the Vatican suppress hidden 'Galileo Cryptogram'?

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

LOBLOSCK!

There's a cryptogram for you...

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Orange UK drops DRM

Graham Marsden
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Now how about...

... they drop this ridiculous "equivalency" that assumes that £1 = $1 and stops charging us 79p for a track that the Yanks can buy for 79c?

Hint 79 cents is 48 pence...

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Written material saved from censor's big black pen - for now

Graham Marsden
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Don't break out the champagne yet...

As Mark above points out, the Dangerous Drawings Act has been waved through with barely a murmur after a discussion at the Committee Stage by a one lot of people with an agenda and another lot who didn't really have a clue refusing to listen to those who pointed out how stupid this law would be and there is still the possibility that the Dangerous Writings Act might get the same treatment at the Report Stage...

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Home Office gets another ad agency for ID cards

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

So...

... just how much more of our money is the Government going to piss away on their Quixotic desire to convince us that they can be trusted with all our information and ID and that we're not going to have to carry a card to show we have their permission to walk down the street?

ELECTION NOW, GORDON!

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Coming soon: clothes that take photographs

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Plod will love this...

... Excuse me Sir, but was your jacket taking a photograph of this building which may be of use to terrorists...?

Mine's the 12MP coat...

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US docs claim world record musical-kidneys game

Graham Marsden
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@Anonymous Coward Posted Thursday 9th July 2009 14:33 GMT

> I often wonder why organ donation isn't an opt-out system, apart from religi-tards I don't know anyone who objects to the process.

I am not a religi-tard and I am signed up as an organ donor however I certainly object to the idea of it being "opt out" because it is my *CHOICE* to donate.

The State should not get to decide what happens to my body at ANY time, allowing this sets a dangerous precedent.

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NHS Direct gets to be number one, one, one

Graham Marsden
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Unhappy

Re: 101

I'm in Portsmouth and I've actually used 101 a few times for things that were worth contacting the Police for (eg idiots bombing up and down the road on a mini-moto late at night) but not worth dialling 999 about.

It was actually a good idea and I would have hoped to see it rolled out nationwide instead of being dumped...

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Data protection fee to cost bigger orgs £500 a year

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Great. but now...

... how about actually giving the ICO some teeth instead of them only being able to wag a finger and say "naughty people, you should make customers' data secure"?

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New boffinry: North Atlantic could be massive CO2 sink

Graham Marsden
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Grenade

@Jody and Stevie

Congratulations! You get today's 20/20 hindsight award... See icon for details.

... of course if this turns out to have drawbacks that weren't obvious now, but turn up 20 years in the future, you'll be obliged to return the pin, although you can keep the rest...

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Cops to step up use of phone and net records

Graham Marsden
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@David 105

Yep, that's what I thought too, just as we keep being told how "successful" the use of DNA is in criminal investigations, even though in many cases the perp would have been caught without it.

Still, why let the facts get in the way of a good bit of spin...?

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Plod to get computer forensics 'breathalyser' next year

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Part of the backlog...

... was caused by too many "speculative seizures" by technologically naive detectives.

And much of the rest was caused by them engaging in desperate fishing trips in the hope that they could find something, anything, on the computers that they could do the suspect for...

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Deal inked in US Navy 'R2-D2' raygun robo-turret plan

Graham Marsden
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Right on, Commander!

... I had a 4MW beam laser on my Cobra Mk III...

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Anti-smut Baroness sent to solitary

Graham Marsden
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"Daily Mail-pleasing" mode

And this is the real problem, coupled with them knowing that they're going to get a kicking at the next election.

So they're going to try to push through as much populist legislation as they can to make themselves look good in the media whislt, at the same time, force their personal agendas on the rest of us before they're thrown out of power.

When the two co-incide (as they might well do in cases like this) then we're in deep shit...

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NZ lad punts nude mum snaps on net

Graham Marsden
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Joke

As the old joke has it...

... Got any naked photos of your mother?

No.

Want to buy some...?

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Tory Lady tries to give bodice-rippers the snip

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@Tony Davenport 1

> Writings about "acts likely to result in serious injury to anus" ...

> What have I done???

It's ok, as long as you weren't sexually aroused by them...

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Graham Marsden
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Flame

Icon for the burning of books...

... so that's every copy of the works of the Marquis De Sade, Venus in Furs by Sacher-Masoch, The Story of O by Pauline Reage...

How long before the British Taliban decide that even more stuff must be banned to protect our Moral Purity...?

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US sinks $0.5bn into electromagnetic aircraft-throwers

Graham Marsden
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Coat

But does anyone get to say...

... Launch all Vipers!

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Scientists print out super-slim battery

Graham Marsden
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Joke

They missed an obvious application...

... the Government should require high powered versions to be built into ALL clothing with a remote control available to all Police and they won't have to bother giving cops tasers any more...

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Apple patents karaoke lessons

Graham Marsden
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Megaphone

Why not just...

... add a Taser attachment.

THAT would stop people singing off-key...!!

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Trading Standards calls for online knife sale ban

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Err...

... what, exactly are "underage products"?

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Spam levels bounce back after botnet takedown

Graham Marsden
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Normal?

This must be some strange definition of "normal" that I wasn't previously aware of...

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Air NZ rolls out naked safety vid

Graham Marsden
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And in the UK...

.... if you did this sort of thing, you'd probably get sacked for "Bringing the company into disrepute"...

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Prof: People reject news which conflicts with beliefs

Graham Marsden
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Bollocks...!

"The prof added that, counterintuitively, it is those with little confidence in their own beliefs who are least willing to consider opposing views."

I frequently have problems in discussion forums, getting accused by some people of not being willing to listen to other points of view and only accepting stuff that agrees with my own beliefs etc.

But what these people don't realise is that I've developed my opinions over 20 or more years of such discussions. I will still listen and I'm perfectly willing to change my position, but they're going to have to come up with a damned convincing argument to show why my position is wrong.

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Mobile operators question net snoop plan

Graham Marsden
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"I don't see any evidence of that"

Gamble then went on to say that he had seen no evidence of the Pope being a Catholic or bears shitting in the woods, so, obviously, these claims had no factual basis...

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RIAA claims victory in Usenet.com copyright case

Graham Marsden
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Usenet RIP :-(

Despite the ignorance of Steve Kay, Usenet is still of use to many people.

Unfortunately now, given this nonsensical ruling (how is Usenet supposed to deal with any illegal copying?) coupled with the excuse used by certain providers that "Usenet is used for distributing kiddie porn, so we're not going to carry any Usenet groups", it looks like it's going to be wiped out :-(

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Chickens could 'power hydrogen cars'

Graham Marsden
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Unhappy

And I was all ready...

... to make a comment about this being a Chicken Shit idea...

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Home Office ditches compulsory ID card trial

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

The government sees young people as...

... less immediately opposed to carrying such a card.

Translation: they don't realise what the risks to their basic liberties are.

In other words: Get them young and by the time they've figured it out, it'll be too late.

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Japanese airport trials 'personal mobility vehicles'

Graham Marsden
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Alert

iReal...

... iPod, iPhone, iTunes, iGoogle...

... can I please trademark iDespair?!

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UK obscenity law: Where to now?

Graham Marsden
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Happy

@Chika

ITYM "Playmobil" ;-)

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Graham Marsden
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There is also the point...

... that had someone decided to hire a group of look-alike models and have them pose for photographs to "illustrate" the story, even though the story was not illegal and no illegal acts were committed in the making of the photos, if someone decided the images were "grossly offensive, disgusting or otherwise of an obscene nature", "for the purposes of sexual arousal" and showed "an act which threatens a person’s life" then the CPS could have successfully prosecuted under the Dangerous Pictures provisions of the Criminal Justice and Immigration Act!

What a ludicrous situation...

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US senators demand boycott of Iran 'snoop' firms

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Idiots...

... or should that be "Senatards"?

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Girls Aloud net obscenity case falls at first hurdle

Graham Marsden
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@Coruscating Frenzy

So, let me see if I've got this right.

Someone has not committed a crime, they have been acquitted in Court of any offence, yet they should *still* be sacked for exercising their legal right to freedom of expression simply because you (or some po-faced idiot in the CIvil Service) don't like what they wrote?

In other words "you have the freedom to write what *we* like..."

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Graham Marsden
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@Armus Squelprom

> there's no shred of literary or creative merit to redeem Darryn Walker's vile, jealous filth.

Sorry, have you *READ* the Daily Star recently...?

> His employer is wholly entitled to conclude that this behaviour has brought them into gross disrepute

Why? WTF has this to do with them if he didn't write it on work time or use work computers? This is the same sort of nonsense that has teachers being sacked because they go to Fetish Clubs even though they would never mention it to the children they teach.

You, like Estariel, seem to think that hearsay, gossip and "the court of public opinion" are more important than someone's right to freedom of expression and their right to the presumption of innocence.

Would you like to apply for the job of Home Secretary?

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Graham Marsden
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@Code Monkey

Yes, the law has (now) been clarified, but, as with the Dangerous Pictures Act, it would never have come to that had the law been written clearly in the first place.

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Graham Marsden
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@Estariel

No, *you* get *your* categories sorted:

1) Not guilty.

2) Guilty.

There are *NO* other categories, unless you believe in trial by media, gossip, hearsay and innuendo.

The guy wrote a work of FICTION, if you're going to start censoring stuff simply because you don't like it, let alone arresting people for doing so, you're on a very dangerous and slippery slope.

If you don't like it, don't read it, but don't make ridiculous and unfounded assumptions about other people based on your own ignorance.

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Graham Marsden
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Excellent news...

... but you have to wonder how much public money they wasted on this farce.

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NASA reacquires original Moon landing footage

Graham Marsden
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Black Helicopters

Australia...?

... not in a hanger in Nevada?

Hmm, THAT'S what El Reg missed with the new icons, there's no Tin Foil Hat icon...! Guess it'll have to be a Black Helicopter.

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Think tank rumbles over gov data-hogging

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Opt IN, not opt OUT!!!

The title says it all.

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Panasonic patches cameras to block rivals' batteries

Graham Marsden
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So how long before...

... third party power pack suppliers start making compatible batteries with copied chips like those who make compatible ink cartridges?

"Remember folks, using compatible cartridges may give poor results or damage your printer or fund terrorism (and will stop us selling our ink at higher prices than vintage champange...)"

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Geek demos Theremin Super Mario game controller

Graham Marsden
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Paris Hilton

So...

... let me see, to make Mario do stuff, you've got you make rapid vertical jerking motions with your right hand...?

I can see a whole new market for this controller...

Paris, because...!

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Designer pitches flat-pack power plug

Graham Marsden
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Damn, that's rather clever...!

I'm impressed at the way someone has really "thought outside the box" in this case (instead of using it as a meaningless buzz-phrase!)

Yes, it's not perfect, but it's a start and I'm sure there are ways of fixing the problems if people are willing to think about the issues instead of just immediately dismissing it as "won't work, can't work, why bother changing what we've got" etc...

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Super Micro stuffs super node into pizza box

Graham Marsden
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Coat

"Hello, Pizza Shed...?"

"Yeah, hi, can I get a quattro formaggio, a SuperServer 6016GT-TF-TM2 and a side order of garlic bread, thanks..."

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