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* Posts by Graham Marsden

4743 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Pizza-polluting YouTube plonkers soil Domino's

Graham Marsden
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Why am I reminded...

... of the old Not the Nine o'Clock News sketch featuring Rowan Atkinson as a pizza maker who announces:

"One pizza Napoli...

(sneezes)

"...with extra mozarella!"

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Germany not a hard-line censor after all

Graham Marsden
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Won't someone think of die Kinder...!

"The rights of children carry more weight than unhindered mass communication."

Excuse me? Is she saying that the rights of children are more important than the right of everyone else to enjoy freedom of expression? Or that these two rights are somehow mutually exclusive? Or just that she's another clueless politician?

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Steptoe storage vendors cash in on junk platters

Graham Marsden
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established vendors...

...will tend to reject new technologies that threaten revenues from existing business models without very good reasons.

See the MPAA, the RIAA, the BPA and a whole bunch of others for more details...!

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Google throws secret auto-updater to open sorcerers

Graham Marsden
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Does anyone else...

... keep reading Omaha as Obama...?

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Storage firm hopes to cut IP litigation costs with escrow discovery

Graham Marsden
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Will the people examining it...

... also be searched for hidden cameras etc?

(And will they be tested to see if they have a photographic memory...?)

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How the government uses dirty data to legislate morality

Graham Marsden
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@Watashi

"Beside the obviously demeaning effects simulated rape has towards women, there is growing evidence that using extreme porn is bad for the men who do it and the relationships these men are in."

I'm sorry, but have you been reading the Government's Rapid Evidence Assessment instead of this article? Because that's the only way that you could actually come to that conclusion!

All the way through this article is pointing out how flawed this "evidence" you refer to is and the lack of factual basis for it, yet you trot out the tired old "it's demeaning to women" and "it's bad for men" arguments again.

Personally I think that Reality TV programmes are demeaning to their participants and being unfaithful to your partner is bad for relationships (for men and for women) yet I wouldn't call for legislation to ban them.

About the only point you get right is that the Government *SHOULD* "put their efforts into examining the relationship between porn and sexual disfunction / relationship problems and the relationship between the porn derived objectification of women in the media and the growth of eating disorders and plastic surgery amongs women in the UK." but only if they actually do an impartial and unbiased study (instead of cobbling together something from reports which already agree with the conclusions they want to reach) because if they do, they'll almost certainly find that there is no relationship between these.

Of course they won't do that because it wouldn't fit with their (and your) "emotion based policy making"...

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Graham Marsden
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Another excellent article from John Oz!

I was a member of the Backlash campaign against the so-called Extreme Pornography laws practically since its instigation, so many of the references above are familiar to me, yet even I have hardly seen a more comprehensive debunking of the Government's "evidence" for legislating against what we can read or see or do.

A link to this article is going straight to my MP!

You can do the same via http://www.writetothem.com

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The mobile phone as self-inflicted surveillance

Graham Marsden
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Whatever happened to Presumption of Innocence???

I have a mobile phone, but I very rarely carry it on because it is simply for *MY* convenience!

I don't need people to be able to contact me instantly, I don't need to get the latest gossip without delay, I don't need to be able to text someone or twitter whatever vague thoughts happen to be passing through my head at any particular moment...

I do carry it when I'm on my motorbike just in case I break down. I do carry it if I'm visiting someone and I'm running late. I do carry it if it is to my benefit.

If the State is going to track me whilst using it, then I'll keep the damn thing switched off unless and until *I* choose to use it!

Presumed innocence? Nope, it seems it's now Presumed Guilty if the State can't monitor my every movement...

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Whitehall to train pro-West Islamic groups to game Google

Graham Marsden
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April 1st

was *last* week!

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16 teams to field 24 e-bikes in 'zero-emission' TT race

Graham Marsden
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midnight oil to be burnt?

Well *that's* not very environmentally friendly...!

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British film board rejects 'disturbing' sexual torture film

Graham Marsden
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@Patrick Bateman

Try visiting your local Art House cinema and watch some of the stuff that is produced that equally has "no fucking plot development or acting," and some of which includes nudity.

The question is, simply, *WHY* should the BBFC be entitled to make decisions like this "for our own good" and the answer is that they shouldn't.

PS @ Richard: People have been coming up with post hoc justifications for banning stuff because of "copycat" incidents for a long time now, but that does not prove that the stuff they want banned *caused* the incident, only that there was a similarity in methodology.

And the "chances of another massacre" do not increase, only the chances of such a massacre getting widespread press coverage, hence the "epidemic of knife crime" last year that turned out to be nothing of the sort except for the fact that the media suddenly started making a big deal out of it.

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Graham Marsden
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@I don't know much about "art"...

And what scares *me* is people like you and Wacky Jacqui Smith and David Blunkett and Jack Straw and all other of your ilk who assume that simply by *watching* something, you're going to "encouraged" to go out and do it without any regard for the consequences or the safety of the people involved.

Ever since Socrates was sentenced to death for "corrupting the youth of Athens" there have been those who want to take us down the Thought Crime route of "if they don't see it, they won't do it", the so-called Extreme Pornography Legislation being just the latest example of this nonsensical argument.

Of course the fact that the BBFC has rejected this film's application for a certificate means virtually damn all now, not least because it will still be entirely legal to publish the film abroad and then import it into the UK, you just won't be able to buy it from a shop *IN* the UK!

The BBFC is an obsolete organisation that is still trying to give itself some sort of meaning in a world that has passed it by.

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DARPA gives Cal Tech boffin $6m 'to save Moore's Law'

Graham Marsden
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May I be the first to welcome...

... our self-healing, self-replicating, self-improving machine overlords...!

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French adhesive workers stick it to Brit boss

Graham Marsden
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Stop

French president Nicolas Sarkozy has said...

... such boss-napping is unacceptable and that workers could face prosecution.

But they're unlikely to because he knows that the French Unions hold too much political power...

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Brown pledges to make Britain's drivers greener

Graham Marsden
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Most of us view Government Ministers...

... as greedy bastards with their snouts in the trough for whatever they can get.

Of course if they were given a "fleet" of electric cars, no doubt they'd still be demanding milage allowances for the flash motors they drive to and from their constituencies because the electric cars "wouldn't be up to the job".

PS @ Tony Smith, Editor, Reg Hardware

Highway code paragraph 264: Lane discipline

"You should always drive in the left-hand lane when the road ahead is clear. If you are overtaking a number of slower-moving vehicles, you should return to the left-hand lane as soon as you are safely past. "

Which part of "Lane discipline" don't you understand?

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Secret European project to battle online jihad

Graham Marsden
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Function creep...?

This is just another attempt to bring in a law like that banning "glorifying terrorism" etc.

But how long before that ban on "Islamic extremist material" is extended to other "extremist material"? How long before the definition of "extremist material" is expanded to other content deemed "unacceptable" by the various state? How long before we're told that "you can't see this because we think it's bad for you"?

This is just another assault on the freedoms that the internet allows us and which are *so* threatening to our Great Leaders that they must be stopped.

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'Mad as hell' news agency declares war on light-fingered sites

Graham Marsden
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@Haku

"just like that poor guy in America who had his artwork stolen and then got a bill from stockart.com for his own creations!"

This case might not be as cut and dried as it is being made out to be.

See the comment from anubis2night at

http://digg.com/design/Stock_Artwork_Logos_Copyright_and_the_Power_of_Twitter?FC=PRCQ0

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Male chimps strike 'meat for sex' deals

Graham Marsden
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Joke

Home Office Press Release

Jacqui Smith today announced that the Government will be introducing new legislation to prosecute male chips who offer meat to female chimps without first ensuring that the female chimp is not under the control of another male chimp...

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Boffins list sci-fi words which wormed their way into dictionary

Graham Marsden
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What about...

... Cyberspace, originally coined by William Gibson in Burning Chrome?

or Waldo - a type of remote manipulator from Robert Heinlein's story of the same name?

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IPS misses its ID cards for foreigners target

Graham Marsden
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adding Chip and PIN to the ID card...?

What next? Making it an Oyster Card as well? Adding RFID and putting scanners on every lamp post? Requiring all computers to have a card scanner? Having you key in your ID Number and PIN before you make a phone call?

After all, if we can track and trace everyone's every move and download and e-mail and phone call that will make us *SO* much safer...

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Balls saves history lessons from Facebook and Twitter

Graham Marsden
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@Dave

There's a myth that Henry VIII wrote "Greensleeves", tinny renditions of which can be heard on cheap phones with a "hold" facility.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greensleeves#Greensleeves_and_Henry_VIII

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MPs battle to save great British pub

Graham Marsden
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Joke

@Andus McCoatover

So I said "Over the next month or so", but you did a single "spot survey" and then extrapolated from that because it gave a result you liked...

Hmm, do you work for the Government?

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Graham Marsden
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@Smokers

Let's try a little survey:

Over the next month or so (to be fair, because the weather is going to be warm enough to stand outside without freezing anything off) count the number of people in the pub and then count the number of people go outside and smoke. Divide one by the other and get a ratio.

Now consider what the pub would be like for all those inside who *aren't* smoking, don't want to breathe the stuff or end up reeking of it simply to enjoy an evening with their friends, but would be forced to endure it if there wasn't a smoking ban.

I entirely support the right of individuals to make their own lifestyle choices, but not when they force those choices on others out of selfishness.

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Japanese porn at heart of Home-Office terrorism snooping

Graham Marsden
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Paris Hilton

Once again...

... our Government shows its inability to control even what it owns itself, yet still thinks that it can (and should!) control what we can see and download...!

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DARPA: Give us solar cells you can use to build stuff

Graham Marsden
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It's easy to make...

... all they need is a supply of unobtainium...

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Profs: Sex with oldies or youngsters will give you the clap

Graham Marsden
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Paris Hilton

Err...

... so having unprotected sex with someone (of whatever age) is *less* risky than shagging someone outside your age group...?

Paris, because... oh figure it out!

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Vatican researcher claims Templars worshipped Turin Shroud

Graham Marsden
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You are accused of heresy on three counts....

... Heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed, and heresy by action...

... Four counts!

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A Geeks Guide2 ...Hacking

Graham Marsden
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Paris Hilton

you should be able to...

"...outsmart common security measures; gain access to a remote server; hijack TCP connections and more."

And then get arrested and extradited by the Yanks who you've embarassed because they had shite security on their systems...

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Ofcom gets puffed out over wind turbines

Graham Marsden
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@ Roger Jenkins

And the turbines spin around depending on which way the wind is going...!

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China restricts online video after YouTube police beating

Graham Marsden
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"sexual perversions, extreme violence"

They're just jealous because the English Government got there first with their ban on "extreme pornography"!

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MEPs urge govs: Set up surveillance register

Graham Marsden
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@Dan

No, they'll set up a consultation asking the Police, the Security Services and similar groups if such a register can be established and then, amazingly, decide that it's not a good idea...!

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UK.gov to get power to force ISPs to block child porn

Graham Marsden
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@Steve Evans

"Personally I'm quite happy for the Govt to go round making stupid statements like this, and then to sit back and watch as the reality of what they are requesting slowly dawns.

"We all suspect they are idiots, so why not let them open their mouths and remove all doubt!"

Unfortunately they are idiots who have the power to pass laws like the "Dangerous Pictures Act" outlawing so-called Extreme Pornography.

It doesn't matter that this is a ridiculous law which will have no real effect on what it is targetting, it doesn't matter that it's effectively unenforceable unless the Police get their hands on someone's computer for some other reason, it doesn't matter that it's very probably in breach of at least two and maybe three articles of the European Convention on Human Rights, what matters is that the damn law got on the statute books in the *first* place!

These idiots don't just go around making statements, they go around passing laws to "make the world a better place" (at least in their minds) and then leave us and now ISPs suffering the consequences.

So don't be happy with this, write to your MP and complain via http://www.writetothem.com

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Graham Marsden
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"accidental exposure to child pornography"?

Why not have the Home Office equip everyone with a modified equivalent of the Joo-Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses which, at the slightest hint of an underage picture, immediately go black to prevent people from seeing something which may offend them...? (The "them" being Wacky Jacqui and the Home Office, of course)

Meanwhile we go another step down the road of complete Government control over our web browsing for our own "protection" and because WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

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Foreign and Commonwealth Office plans biometrics bonanza

Graham Marsden
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So...

... let's hope that they find the system a) unreliable and b) unworkable such that c) they'll realise that biometrics are no magic solution.

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Playmobil Bible faces wrath of lawyers

Graham Marsden
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Happy

@Alan

> You got my email then :)

And mine! ;-)

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Moderatrix quits El Reg: Latest

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@Poopie McStinklestein

> PVC thigh-highs cost at least £70

Sheesh, do some research, you can get them from £55!

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Graham Marsden
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Can someone sign for...

... a tanker-load of Evening Primrose Oil, please?

(Mine's the one with the target on the back... ;-) )

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‘Unifying standard’ vital for mass-market 3D TV

Graham Marsden
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A technology in search of a need...

Who, exactly, really *wants* 3D TV? If it was so great, why haven't 3D movies become the norm?

Frankly I'd prefer it if they put the money into making a few more decent TV shows!

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BBC Trust moots new licence laws to cope with net

Graham Marsden
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@Charles

> Public roads are free to use, but you still have to pay for some form of conveyance to employ it.

Yes, but I don't have to pay the Government for permission to ride a bicycle (or a horse) on the highway.

Nor should I be obliged to pay them for permission to download content which is provided for free.

As for those who trot out the tired old "the BBC should take advertising", try doing some research and look at the state of the advertising market at the moment. There is simply *not* enough advertising money around and I have little doubt that more than a few of the smaller "commercial" channels will go to the wall over the next year or so as their major source of revenue dries up. Now imagine that the advertisers took most/ all of their money and put it into the BBC instead because that's where the bigger audiences are...

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Florida cops taser satnav lake plunge woman

Graham Marsden
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@Right, fuck all this.

Flame of the Week!

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Bondage bonzer for bonding, beam boffins

Graham Marsden
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Not an April Fools...

... simply because anyone who's been in the BDSM scene for any length of time will know that the vast majority of those who participate in this lifestyle have a much more relaxed attitude to the nature of relationships, based on the idea of mutual respect and consent. They are also used to *talking* about problems, whether it's something that happened in a play session or elsewhere in the relationship.

The rest of the world could learn a lot from this if they weren't so hung up on the idea of "Ugh! BDSM I don't do that perverted stuff!"

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Google to fund 'video Street View' for Central London

Graham Marsden
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It's almost plausible...

... but I very much doubt the Police would actually ever let us access *their* systems for monitoring us...

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'Big Brother' - the price of self-driving cars

Graham Marsden
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@Charles

"non-CVIS objects, such things would not likely be allowed on roadways"

I presume you've never seen episodes of "Police Stop" or other such low-rent TV where geese, swans, horses or other wildlife have managed to cause major traffic havoc?

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G20 police demand ID as train staff ordered to spy on passengers

Graham Marsden
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Stop

You don't have to give your name and address...

... Nor are Police allowed to hassle you or search you *because* you decline to give your name and address.

http://www.liberty-human-rights.org.uk/issues/6-free-speech/s44-terrorism-act/index.shtml

And download a copy of Mark Thomas's "Don't waste my time" card from here.

http://www.markthomasinfo.com/zzz_images/CIFcard.pdf

Meine Papier? Nein, mein Herr!

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Playboy TV offers 'Jacq off' special package

Graham Marsden
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Paris Hilton

So...

... Wacky (whack off?) Jacqui and her friends want to control everything we do and see and read and download.

Given that it's now clear she can't even control what goes on in her own home, perhaps she'll learn to mind her own business and get out of *our* bedrooms?!

Of course, as the AC in the "Britards" post points out, even if she is replaced it will no doubt be a case of "here comes the new boss, same as the old boss"

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Software generated attendance letter about dead pupil

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

"Originally published at Kablenet"...?

Kablenet Publication date: 27/03/2009 09:50:45

Err, so how come I managed to e-mail your news desk about this at 12:32 on the 25th with this link to a BBC story http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/7963081.stm??

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Canadian cops cry for BlackBerry wiretap

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

"an essential tool for the battle against crime"...

... and so are ID cards and DNA databases and Identity Registers and CCTV and ANPR and...

One wonders just how Police ever managed to do their jobs in the past...

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Battlestar Galactica eyes 'technology run amok'

Graham Marsden
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Frakkin' incredible...

... the way that some people who admit that they didn't even *watch* the whole show the way through find it necessary to come on here and slag it off just so they can say "hey, I didn't watch it all and you lot are all lus3rs for doing so!"

No, it wasn't perfect, yes, it had flaws, yes, it was dark to the extent that I've only just watched the final episodes because the series was emotionally draining, but if you didn't like it, why not just go and find something you *do* like instead?

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WAG sues CPW for phone pic nick

Graham Marsden
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Paris Hilton

Duh!

Ok, the CW staff member shouldn't have been snooping around, but, frankly, this is as dumb as Gary Glitter leaving kiddie porn on his computer when he took it into PC World!

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PGP email marketing gaffe creates message storm

Graham Marsden
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A couple of weeks ago...

... I received an e-mail from from Argos plugging their "Spring Blowout Sale", but someone obviously hasn't comprehended the idea of BCC, because it has over one thousand, three hundred e-mail addresses clearly visible in the "To" field!

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