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* Posts by Graham Marsden

4907 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Beware evangelists

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

The answer has to be to filter them as quickly as possible.

Good idea, I'll ignore anything by David Tebbutt in future because there's a strong streak of hypocrisy (do what I say, not what I do) running through this article!

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Men far worse than women on password security

Graham Marsden
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@JASR

That's an interesting Compendium of characters, I think I ought to relax and look at the Aquarium or have a Totorum before I end up needing Laudanum.

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UK Parliament website hack exposes shoddy passwords

Graham Marsden
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Happy

As of 11:49 02/09/09

At least they've fixed the "and" typo! (Maybe someone there reads El Reg?!)

"This site is currently unavailable, we are working on a fix and should have the site available again soon. Thanks. "

PS AC above, nice time machine you have... ;-)

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Twitter tracker goes twotspotting

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

"Follow me on twitter..."?

Or is that "Stalk me on twitter?"

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EU consults on problems of digitising libraries

Graham Marsden
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Google...

... does not scan copyrighted works in Europe.

Which makes damn all difference when it's as easy to download something from the USA as it is from Europe.

If a book has been published in both the USA and Europe and Google has scanned it, it *will* be available world-wide, simple as that.

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South Africa official calls for 'outright ban' on pornography

Graham Marsden
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Adult Porn != Child Porn...

Ho hum, yet another idiot conflating consensual adult pornography with that produced featuring children (who cannot, by law, consent).

Of course, like those who wrote the "Consultation" on our "Extreme Pornography" ban, he's just using "Won't Someone Think of the Children!" as an excuse to push his narrow minded agenda.

Meanwhile: Paging King Canute...

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Japan gives the wheelchair a hi-tech overhaul

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@Alan B

"Not exactly the best design..."

So how about, duh... not selling it to people who would have problems using it?

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Google Book Search - Is it The Last Library?

Graham Marsden
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The Last Library?

Is that like The Final Encyclopaedia by Gordon R. Dickson?

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UK Music secret data: 'Young people will pay for downloads'

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

"Let's say...

... you develop a graduated response that has got 95 steps. So you've now asked somebody 95 times very nicely and very politely can you please stop doing that and 95 times they've refused to," he said. "What do you do?"

Err, how about getting it through your skulls that your out-moded, out-dated and obsolete revenue stream model is DEAD and try embracing the new technology instead of clinging onto something that will just make you look like greedy idiots when you try to fine grannies a million quid for "illegal" (it isn't, it's civil, not criminal) downloading.

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Loch Ness Monster surfaces on Google Earth

Graham Marsden
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The Flying Spaghetti Monster...?

... shurely that's its cousin, the Swimming Spaghetti Monster!

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Boffins render full HD million-point animated hologram

Graham Marsden
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Damn...

... I thought about doing this back in the 1980s when I started getting interested in holography, but the resolution wasn't up to it at the time.

I'm glad to see that the technology is finally becoming available to do this. (Pity I didn't patent the idea, though...!)

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Mechwarrior maker claims Microsoft 'destroyed' studio's culture

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

What...

... on earth did they expect?

Big company buys up small company, small company gets subsumed by big company's structure.

End of story.

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US music publishers sue online lyrics sites

Graham Marsden
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What about....

.... sites like http://www.kissthisguy.com/ which list all the misinterpretations of incomprehensible lyrics...?

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Man beaten and stabbed by Gumtree scammers

Graham Marsden
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Grenade

Re: On Police bail comments

Don't forget that they'll have had their DNA and fingerprints taken and those records will be kept ad infinitum even if they turn out to have had nothing to do with the crime (if the Police and Government get their way), which has got to be a good thing, hasn't it?

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Met hires Twitter consultancy

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Social phone...

Is that like the Banana Phone...?

(Sorry for the ear-worm!)

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Shock jock blames Britain for hack attack

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Dear Michael Savage...

... sorry, who are you again?

Just because Wacky Jacqui got her panties in a twist, why should we give a damn about you?

Yours Sincerely,

The people of Britain.

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UK.gov revives net cut-off threat for illegal downloaders

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@Paul M

> If you don't P2P then you don't have a problem.

And if you have nothing to hide you have nothing to worry about...

Any other dumb, cliched platitudes you'd like to trot out?

Now consider this:

A couple of weeks ago my Sky+ box glitched whilst I was on holiday and failed to record the episode of Dollhouse that was on.

I didn't want to miss it, but it wasn't available for "legitimate" download from anywhere I could access. So I downloaded it using utorrent instead, watched it, then deleted it.

So was that illegal because I didn't get it from a "legal" source? What copyright did I actually infringe? Was I contributing to terrorism (or whatever) by doing this?

What if I'd said to a mate "You recorded it, can you bung it onto video for me?"

I'm sure in your nice little black-and-white world, I'm a criminal who belongs behind bars.

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

responses to the consultation...

... had persuaded it to reconsider introducing the threat of disconnection from the internet.

Err, excuse me? "we will be extending the deadline for responses to 29th September 2009"

The fucking Consultation hasn't even *FINISHED* yet, but already you're deciding what you're going to do?

Why not just admit that, like every other damn consultation you've held, it's a complete sham because you're going to do what you like anyway?

How about we all club together and buy Mandy an expensive dinner? Maybe *THAT* is the way to get Government policy changed...?

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Government unbans dirty vids but bans 'legal highs'

Graham Marsden
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Regarding previous convictions...

Article 7 of the European Convention on Human Rights says that no person may be punished for an act that was not a criminal offence at the time of its commission.

So the Government claims that previous convictions will stand sounds like BS to me.

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Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Minister Barbara Follett has written to trade bodies...

... asking them to accept voluntary guidelines until the relevant legislation is passed.

Now what would be *sensible* would be for them to cut out a lot of the nonsense in the VRA which, for instance, means it's an offence for someone to sell R18 videos from a website in this country, but leaves it perfectly legal to purchase them from anywhere in Europe and have them shipped over here.

Of course what will no doubt actually happen instead is that our prudish Nanny State Government will hamstring the adult industry with a whole lot more useless regulations to "protect" us from all that nasty dirty stuff...

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Doctor investigated for posting inkblots to Wikipedia

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Y'know...

... actually Card IV looks like a head-on view of someone riding a Harley Davidson whilst wearing big boots...

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Graham Marsden
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"What do make of these Captain?"

"It's a bird, a cow, a horse with a hat on."

- William Shatner in Airplane II

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Microsoft goes Darwinian with evolutionary tree patent

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Would someone...

... please explain the words "Prior Art" to the US Patent Lawyers?

What next? A patent on the wheel...?

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Dan Brown is most unwanted author says Oxfam

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

What about El Ron Hubbard?

He's so unwanted that some Charity Shops and Second Hand Bookshops won't even *buy* (or take for free) his stuff!

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Police drag feet following DNA law change

Graham Marsden
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@Fractured Cell

Find me a Catholic Bear and I'll give you an answer...!

PS @David Pollard

Regarding Volunteered DNA, the recently ended Home Office consultation proposed that volunteered DNA would not be kept.

Of course that's only a consultation, so does anyone want to take a bet that when the law is brought in, this will be amended because "well, it would be a good idea to keep it, wouldn't it?"

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Graham Marsden
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We need a....

... Pope is a Catholic, Bears shit in woods icon...

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YouTube injects cash into US F1 team

Graham Marsden
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Joke

Of course...

... if the teams get their way, the Yanks may have to decide which of *two* F1 series they want to join...!

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Beer drinking model to get caned in Malaysia

Graham Marsden
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Cue...

... all the Daily Fail mindset El Reg readers applauding the idea of tying alleged perps to lamp posts so passers by can give them a good beating...

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Japan torture flick sickens UK film censor

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

I find it astonishing...

... just how many people are in favour of the sort of "Freedom of Expression" which is defined as "Freedom to say/ read/ look at things that *I* approve of".

Not to mention those who are immediately willing to dismiss anyone who makes or watches such things as "sick" or "not normal" or "not having a healthy mind" or those who think that we need to be "protected" because we're obviously so mentally feeble that we're not capable of exercising our own consciences and not going out and emulating what we might have seen.

Isn't it good that we have people like you who are such fine, upstanding citizens that *you* are capable of deciding for *us* what we should or shouldn't look at!

I'm sure the Taliban would applaud your morality and would want to recruit you for their groups that eg go around beating women who let their burkhas slip because obviously seeing a bit of female skin is just the first step on a slippery slope to the commission of depraved acts...

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@Matt 89

So Matt 89 doesn't understand this stuff, therefore it should be banned.

Wow, what a great argument!

Personally I don't understand why people would want to regularly watch stories of people being threatened, abused, intimidated, having relationships torn apart and so on, but since these are (apparently) regular staples of EastEnders, presumably there is *some* desire on the parts of some people to watch such stuff.

If Matt 89 or anyone else doesn't like it, then, in the words of Kenny Everett to Mary Whitehouse "You've got a knob, use it".

But don't be so arrogant as to try to tell everyone else that because *you* don't like it, *they* shouldn't be allowed to watch it.

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@amanfromearth

> The comments here show exactly what sort of pathetic tossers are produced by UK society.

Yes, we get Nanny State idiots like the BBFC whose job, it seems, is to "protect" us from seeing anything nasty, just in case it inspires *us* to then go and do something nasty too.

Still, what's wrong with a little Thought Crime here and there?

Of course by not giving it a classification it means that anyone who does download a copy can now be done under the so-called Extreme Pornography legislation (aka the Dangerous Pictures Act) that came in a while back, whereas, beforehand, they were not commiting any offence at all.

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Sites pulling sneaky Flash cookie-snoop

Graham Marsden
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One FireFox add on downloaded...

... sorted!

Thanks guys :-)

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Aussie Sex Party bursts upon political stage

Graham Marsden
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I want...

... to work in their Whip's Office!!!

(Mine's the one with the catalogue of affordable leather products in the pocket...)

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NASA: Extraterrestrial sample holds ingredient for alien life

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@Paul Smith

Yes, Paul Smith, I *know* what they said in the article. I'm just pointing out that if there was an *unexposed* sample, that would have provided a *cross-check* for contamination.

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Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Control...?

"it was possible that the glycine we found originated from handling or manufacture of the Stardust spacecraft itself,"

But, of course, they had a control sample that went through all the same processes, but wasn't exposed as the Aerogel was, so they'd be able to compare the two and check for contamination...

... didn't they?

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Woman charged with cyberbullying teen on Craigslist

Graham Marsden
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Grenade

Practical joke...?

Four years in jail...

... laugh that one off!

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Windows XP customers positive but split on Windows 7

Graham Marsden
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It wasn't that long ago...

... that I finally got around to upgrading from 2K to XP (and only because too many programs were no longer being supported under 2K)

If you have an OS that works and does what you need it to, why bother upgrading?

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Scientists unlock DIY DNA

Graham Marsden
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Pirate

So...

1) Say "Hey, everyone, here's a problem..."

2) Say "Hey, everyone, by co-incidence we have the solution!"

3) Profit!!

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Shop risks legal action for posting 'shoplifter' CCTV online

Graham Marsden
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Grenade

Hmm...

... so, let's see:

1) Go into Home Bargains

2) Act suspiciously, but get out without being challenged

3) They post their CCTV footage

4) You sue for defamation

5) PROFIT!

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When ISPs hijack your rights to NXDOMAIN

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Err, what...?

This started off as looking like an interesting piece on the way that ISPs are trying to take over our browsing (how big a step is it from a mis-typed URL going to a page full of ads to a legitimate URL getting a response of "you don't want to look at that page, you want to look at *this* page"?)

Unfortunately it then rapidly devolved into a barely coherent rant which meandered all over the place and any point that it might have had to make got buried under the sound of axes being ground.

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Researchers forge secure kernel from maths proofs

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

"foolproof and incapable of error"

But, as the old quote has it: "It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious."

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Police, Cameras, Pixellation

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@Sean

Hmm, your comments above make my post above even more apposite...!

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Graham Marsden
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Why not...

... just modify Police Helmets so the officer's face can't be seen.

Then just give them an ID badge they can display on their chests...

http://www.myfreewallpapers.net/comics/wallpapers/judge-dredd-simon-bisley.jpg

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Arizona sheriff prefers jail to handing over server password

Graham Marsden
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Maricopa County...?

Hang on, doesn't this mean if the Sheriff gets jailed, he can spend time in Joe Arpaio's prison?

I'm sure he'll have fun in there...

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Oppressed snappers focus on police in London and Chatham

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Another one for...

... the "Lunatics have taken over the Asylum" files:

* * * * *

A MAN who took photos of illegally-parked cars claims he was stopped and questioned by police while the culprits got away.

Colin Wilson, 26, lives off Gill Bridge Avenue which runs alongside Sunderland Magistrates' Court and Gill Bridge Police Station.

[...]

Colin took photographs of vehicles parked directly opposite the court entrance.

He said officers came out of the station and tried to stop him taking pictures of the cars, asked him for ID and asked to look at his camera.

http://www.sunderlandecho.com/news/Parking-crusader-in-police-stop.5547186.jp

* * * * *

You just can't make this stuff up.

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US state bars sex offenders from 'social networking sites'

Graham Marsden
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A title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

As The Economist article points out, there is so much political desire to appear "tough" on these issues for fear of being branded "soft" by opponents.

Even daring to suggest that such a law is not workable or not needed is enough to generate negative publicity, so few would dare to do this.

Instead we get this constant battle to "think of the children" by passing ridiculous and unenforceable laws or laws that only serve to devastate the lives of people who are no risk to others.

Still, that doesn't matter as long as the politicians get good media coverage...

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Man blames cat for child porn downloads

Graham Marsden
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Coat

So...

... has Ceiling Cat decided that just watching you isn't enough fun any more...?

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Coppers make fake football sites pay penalty

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Phyllite...

Phyllite is a type of foliated metamorphic rock primarily composed of quartz, sericite mica, and chlorite; the rock represents a gradation in the degree of metamorphism between slate and mica schist. Minute crystals of graphite, sericite, or chlorite impart a silky, sometimes golden sheen to the surfaces of cleavage (or schistosity). Phylite is formed from the continued metamorphism of slate.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phyllite

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Twitter meltdown raises questions about site stability

Graham Marsden
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Pint

The paralysing effect of an internet attack against Twitter has raised questions about ...

... who really gives a shit about Twitter!

If it served any useful purpose apart from allowing Twits to babble about what happens to be going through their minds at that particular moment, perhaps someone might actually give a damn.

Hmm...

One of the things Ford Prefect found hard to understand about human beings was their habit of continually stating and re-stating the very, very obvious, as in: “It’s a nice day”, “You’re very tall” or “So this is it; we are going to die”.

At first, Ford formed a theory to account for this strange behaviour. ‘If human beings don’t keep exercising their lips’ he thought ‘their mouths probably seize up’. After a while he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. ‘If they don’t keep exercising their lips’ he thought ‘their brains start working’...

Well, Ford, you were close...!

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Martha Lane-Fox: No broadband, no citizenship

Graham Marsden
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Grenade

"I don't think you can be a proper citizen in our society in the future if you're not online,"

And it doesn't really matter a whole lot if you *are* online because using the internet to contact our allegely democratic Government just gives them another opportunity to ignore us...

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