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* Posts by Graham Marsden

4935 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Tories will scrap 'pre-crime' vetting

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Fine words...

... but will they be transformed into actions?

Or will the Tories get into power and then suddenly decide that "Oh, maybe it is useful to hold onto this information after all..."

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Irish brogue voted world's sexiest accent

Graham Marsden
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English third...?

Yeah, right, innit...

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US military tracker-droids to 'consider humans as fluid'

Graham Marsden
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Welcome

May I be the first to welcome...

... oh fill in the rest yourself!

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Scientists flee Home Office after adviser sacking

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

The short version...

Alan Johnson said: "You cannot have a chief adviser at the same time stepping into the public field."

Professor Nutt responded: "What you cannot have is politicians stepping into the scientific arena - and that is exactly what they have done."

ZING!

If you have a group of advisors and then make policy whilst *ignoring* their advice, throwing your toys out of the pram and sacking them for speaking out about said policy is just petty and childish.

Once upon a time this Government promised us "evidence based lawmaking"...

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Chronically ill people 'happier if they abandon hope', say docs

Graham Marsden
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Do not go gentle into that good night...

...Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

- Dylan Thomas

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Norway warns Amazon against Kindle launch

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Norway not in EU....?

Would the commentards making these comments like to actually do a little bit of *research* before spouting their nonsense?

Here's a good place to start...

http://www.eu-norway.org/eu/

Or, if that's too much work, there's always Wikipedia...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norway_and_the_European_Union

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NASA chuffed with super-accurate new map of universe

Graham Marsden
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"the precise location of GPS satellites..."

... but I bet that won't stop some idiot still blindly following his Sat Nav's instructions up a Welsh Mountainside!

PS There again, Tom Tom's latest e-mail doesn't give you much confidence either...

http://i258.photobucket.com/albums/hh247/Grahamm_photos/tomtom.jpg

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UK Supremes question vetting scheme

Graham Marsden
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"they will not merely fall foul of the Convention [on human rights]...

... but they will rebound to the disadvantage of the very group they are designed to shield, and will undermine public confidence"

Come on, El Reg, we *need* that bear pooping in the trees icon...!

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Forum king vBulletin muzzles paid-up protesters

Graham Marsden
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I need to apologise to someone now...

... because they were changing their forum system and, having found vBulletin to be an excellent forum system for users and for admins/ mods, I lobbied strongly for adopting it.

I won't say it was entirely on my recommendation that they did change to it, but now, possibly because of my influence, it seems they've been sold a pup.

What a ridiculous state of affairs :-(

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Ofcom's 116 discussions confirm El Reg advice

Graham Marsden
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@Cynical Observer

"Even if only to the county HQ of a police force, it would save a lot of hassle trying to get assistance when 999 is not appropriate."

Down here in Hampshire we have 101 which does exactly that.

http://www.hampshire.police.uk/Internet/contact/101+SNEN.htm

Of course it costs 10p to call...!

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Ofcom swoops on kiddie's bedroom

Graham Marsden
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Dead Vulture

"grinning child"???

He looks pretty miserable in the pic as far as I can see...

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Plods' 'extremist' sheet included BAE mole

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@Matt Bryant

"Please just grow up and go do something useful."

You mean like draw attention to how the Police in this country are infringing on people's civil liberties and human rights? You know, the ones that we fought a war to protect?

How *dare* they use the Police's own tactcs against them even though it's entirely legal for them to do so?

As for the rest of your Straw Man arguments, see the icon for details...

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Virginia corrections officers on 'dog fondling' rap

Graham Marsden
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Remember Rebecca Loos...?

On the Channel 5 "reality show" called "The Farm" Ms Loos was given the job of masturbating a pig to collect its semen.

These days, of course, it would probably be classed as Extreme Pornography...

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El Reg receives message from planet 'Female Pigeon'

Graham Marsden
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Coat

What about...

Magarathea, Viltvodel 6, Traal, and, of course, Golgafrincham!

Mine's the one with the towel and the Electronic Sub-Etha Thumb in the pocket...

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Guardian in hot water over activist face flash

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

The expression "Domestic Terrorists"...

... has been brought to you by the Ministry of Truth...

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Facebook enshrines dead people profiles

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Welcome to the Hotel Facebook...

... You can check out any time you want, but you can never leave...!

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Think you're tech savvy? You won't be when you're old

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Function determines form...

... as true now (and in the future) as it's always been.

Too many designers are still more interested in adding as many bells and whistles and clever bits which look pretty to their products without considering the most basic question of "is the bloody thing actually *usable*?"

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OECD places UK third for European e-government

Graham Marsden
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Flame

And what about...

... the position on the list of data insecurity by leaving it on trains etc...?

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Hoaxed US Chamber thumps pranksters with blunt instrument

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Stupid stunt....

... Fine, ok, take the mickey out of the US Chamber of Commerce on something like The Daily Show (the UK equivalent would perhaps be Bremner, Bird and Fortune) where people *know* that it's satire,

But pretending to actually *be* the US Chamber of Commerce and issuing statements etc as if they are legitimate is just stupid and can only backfire on you.

If the guy on the podium, when challenged, had put his hands up and said "Ok, it's a fair cop, we're doing this to highlight the problems we have with the current position" then they might have got away with it, but trying to maintain the pretence and whining about "you'll have to pay for the cost of the room" just makes them look petty and stupid.

I'm all for the right of freedom of expression, but you should use that right in a *responsible* way and IMO they've done themselves more harm than good.

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DNA database reports shows costs up, 'detections' down

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

A "detection" ...

... "means that the crime was cleared up and a DNA match was available. It does not mean a conviction was obtained, or that guilt was established."

Why does this remind me so much of the vaunted "success" of the Patriot Missiles in Gulf War 1 where a "successful interception" meant that the Patriot simply *crossed the path* of an incoming Scud missile, not that it actually shot the damn thing down...

I also have to wonder with the DNA "detections" whether someone had already copped to the crime and *then* their DNA was taken and (lo and behold!) a match was found with an *existing* record!

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Musos demand Guantanamo Bay playlist

Graham Marsden
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Troll

They should get the RIAA in on this...

... after all, these were "public performances", so they should get royalties...

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Atheists smite online God poll

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

"I don't think this is indicative of people's faith in this country."

ITYM "I don't want to be believe this because it doesn't fit in with what *I* think..."

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FBI and SOCA plot cybercrime smackdown

Graham Marsden
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Black Helicopters

Ok, but...

... what happens when their idea of "cybercrime" starts infringing on our right of freedom of expression...?

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Prof: Extremists tend to dominate debates

Graham Marsden
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Grenade

Death...

... to all fanatics!!!!!

But seriously, "the more you hear these extremists expressing their opinions, the more you are going to believe that those extreme beliefs are normal for your community," explains Morrison.

And what about us "extremists" who, like Voltaire say "I disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it"?

(NB before anyone starts setting up straw men, you have the right to express an *opinion*, you do not have the right to call on others to cause harm to those you don't like, ok?)

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Honda designs mainstream e-bikes

Graham Marsden
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@swageo

Speaking as a biker, I do not agree with the "loud pipes save lives" arguments.

All they do is pi$$ people off with either the whine of a demented mosquito or something that rattles their windows when they're trying to sleep.

Yes, drivers should check their blindspots, but I just prefer make life easier for them (and safer for me) by not *being* in their blindspots as much as possible.

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UK.gov prostitution proposals caught with pants down

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Poppy...

... COCK!

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Aussie censor wants power to ban iPhone apps

Graham Marsden
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Bunch of...

... bloody wowsers!

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Judge shoots down challenge to Craigslist erotic services

Graham Marsden
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Congratulations to John F. Grady!

It's good to see that there are US Judges who still believe in their Constitutional right to freedom of speech!

We could do with more Judges like that in the UK.

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Crypto spares man who secretly video taped flatmates

Graham Marsden
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Flame

Of course...

... here in freedom loving UK you can be locked up simply for not handing over your passwords when demanded...

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West Antarctic ice loss overestimated by NASA sats

Graham Marsden
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Megaphone

So, once again...

... we see the tired old "it's a myth", "no it isn't" commetards crawling out of the woodwork.

Let me offer you all a simple solution:

How about we just try using energy MORE EFFICIENTLY?

That way whether man-made global warming is a myth or not we *still* get the net effect of lower CO2 emissions *AND* we save money!

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Toilet texting not a faux pas, declares Intel

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

If you text in the toilet...

... I hope you wash your hands afterwards...!

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Astronomers spy 32 new exoplanets

Graham Marsden
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Alien

Hey Xy!pn...?

... Yeah Zax'in?

... You ever had the feeling that someone's watching you...?

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News archives can lose libel protection as stories change

Graham Marsden
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Grenade

"The Met wrote to The Times on 4 September 2007"

"The High Court has said that The Times could reasonably be expected to have received that letter on 5th September,"

Pardon my cynical laughter at the assumed efficiency of the Royal Mail which is currently, in competition with the unions, seeing who can slit their collective throats faster!

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Adam Curtis uncovers the secrets of Helmand

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

"The phrase 'hearts and minds' admits that people feel and think"

... but carries the underlying implication that their needs will be best served through changing they people think by imposing *our* views and attitudes upon them whether they want them or not.

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Neanderthal woman could whup Schwarzenegger

Graham Marsden
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Joke

Where does a 300lb gorilla sit...?

... Anywhere he wants to!

He also wouldn't just win an arm wrestling contest, if he wanted to he'd go home with your whole arm.

But, like this whole article, so what??

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Beeb gets grief for Humpty Dumpty rewrite

Graham Marsden
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Happy

@Proposal

Remember that in Lewis Carrol's "Alice in Wonderland" Humpty Dumpty says:

"When I use a word it means exactly what I want it to mean, nothing more, nothing less"

Very appropriate, methinks!

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Boffins 'write directly to memory' of living brains

Graham Marsden
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Pirate

Just in time...

... for Series 2 of Dollhouse...

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Tabloid hack scum face jail

Graham Marsden
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Happy

But...

... was this all just a publicity stunt for "Starsuckers"? http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2009/oct/15/starsuckers-celebrity-surgery-tabloids

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Aussie Sex Party in evangelist head-to-head

Graham Marsden
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Let's hear it....

... for the Sex Party!

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US special forces tool up with 'plasma blades'

Graham Marsden
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Coat

But...

... is it less clumsy and random than a scalpel...?

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Cambridgeshire makes road charge last resort

Graham Marsden
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Happy

@Re Give people a viable public transport

"Tried booking a train ticket 2 months ago was about £106 return."

Have a look at http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/travel/cheap-train-tickets and try "Split ticketing" :-)

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Video games linked to ADD? Say it ain't ooh butterfly

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Stroop test...

I've done online versions of this test and I find I do best by simply "defocussing" so that I only really notice the colour, rather than the word that appears.

So I'm actually concentrating *less* to do better!

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45th Mersenne prime revealed

Graham Marsden
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@MnM

"The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy says that the odds of being rescued by a passing spacecraft whilst asphyxiating in deep space are approximately 2^267,709 : 1 against.

"By a curious co-incidence this was also the telephone number of an Islington flat where Arthur Dent went to a very good party and met a very nice girl whom he totally failed to get off with...."

(Quoted from memory!)

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Graham Marsden
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Coat

But...

... what about two to the power of two hundred and sixty seven thousand, seven hundred and nine (minus one)?

Or is that just Infinitely Improbable?

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Hubble snaps aftermath of galactic pile-up

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Excuse me $deity...

... but is this your galaxy?

Would you please blow into this bag, Sir.

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Proles told to get online to save economy

Graham Marsden
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Joke

Possible soap opera plot lines...

Ok, how about someone spending the entire episode on hold trying to get through to their ISP's help desk. Will they get through? Dum, dum, dum-dum, da-da-dum...

Or maybe them getting through and then they and the call centre operator trying to convince each other that they're speaking the same language?

Or perhaps them getting a threatening letter from a law firm accusing them of illegally downloading hardcore porn...?

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Olympic builders hit with biometrics - local residents next?

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Of course...

... once these systems are in place, there's a "good" argument for *leaving* them in place to ensure that everyone who visits the Olympics is properly identified. Naturally this will require the system to be extended to the entire population of London and then to anyone who visits London and then...

(I wonder if anyone's thought of the potential terrorist threat of them planting mines in Weymouth or Portland harbours to blow up boats in the sailing events? Oops, maybe I'm giving them ideas...!)

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'Hack Idol' to find top UK cyberwarriors

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Entrapment...?

Hmm, so how many people are going to put their names forward and then find themselves being investigated and arrested for hacking?

Chairman Mao's "Hundred Flowers" campaign comes to mind where dissidents were encouraged to speak out against the Chinese Communist Regime and were then rounded up and sent to "re-education camps"...

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Royal Marines' semi-hovership prototype launched

Graham Marsden
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How about...

...the Fast Track Amphibian?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaGLNcIkSm0

I'd love one of these if they didn't cost about $250,000 at the moment :-(

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Large Hadron boffin arrested on terrorism suspicion

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Not really to do with this story...

... but in one online discussion I was participating in, someone managed to refer to the device in question as the "Large Hardon Collider"...!

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