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* Posts by Graham Marsden

4974 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

UK prosecutors drop 'tiger' sex video case

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Did the even read their own bloody law...???

From the Criminal Justice and Immigration Act 2008:

Section 63 Possession of extreme pornographic images:

An image falls within this subsection if it portrays, in an explicit and realistic

way, any of the following—

(d) a person performing an act of intercourse or oral sex with an animal

(whether dead or alive), AND A REASONABLE PERSON LOOKING AT THE IMAGE WOULD THINK THAT ANY SUCH PERSON OR ANIMAL WAS REAL!

(My emphasis)

Forget about the sound-track, how the F**K can anyone be so stupid as to try to prosecute for an ANIMATED image under this law???

How much public money has been wasted on what appears to have been an act of sheer childish pettiness on the part of the Police? "Ok, so we can't do him for what we arrested him for, let's trawl through his computer and see if there's anything we can stitch him up for..."

This sort of fishing expedition is just one of the many potential abuses of this law that some of us were pointing out to MPs and Lords before the Government forced this nonsense through Parliament.

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No more dirty phone calls

Graham Marsden
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Douglas Adams had it right...!

FORD: Golgafrincham Ark Fleet, Ship B, Hold Seven: Telephone Sanitizer, Second Class. And a serial number!

ARTHUR: ”Telephone Sanitizer”? A dead telephone sanitizer?

FORD: Best kind. ...

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Boffin calculates pi to 2.7 trillion digits

Graham Marsden
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But...

... if you convert it to letters, does it spell out somewhere "Haha! I'm God, I existed all along!"?

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Hadopi three strikes law hits another hurdle

Graham Marsden
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Lewis Carrol got there first...

"Just the place for a Snark! I have said it thrice:

What i tell you three times is true."

- The Hunting of the Snark

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Cybersitter firm sues China, Lenovo for Green Dam code lift

Graham Marsden
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Go

This is the sort of IP protection...

... that the US should be dealing with.

Not ridiculous "software patents" where someone writes down an idea (which is often already being used), but blatant copying of an actual program.

Unfortunately whilst there's vested interests in patent whoring...

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NASA's Kepler telescope finds 5 new planets

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

"discoveries rolling off the assembly line"

Err, mixing your metaphors much, lads...?

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Mouse nest found in London copper's paperwork

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

"clear desk policy..."

"...of filing everything at the end of the day ."

"Hey, Sarge, anyone coughed to these crimes today? No? Any chance of solving them without doing some legwork? No? Ok, file them in the round file..."

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Paramount prepares to scale Dune

Graham Marsden
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It's a shame you gave up...

... because after the turgid tedium of God-Awful of Dune, the series actually picked up nicely.

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Please shut up about the Mull of Kintyre Chinook crash

Graham Marsden
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Lewis...

... would you have told the descendants of those soldiers suffering from Shell Shock in World War I who were executed for "cowardice" to "please shut up" and "move on" instead of campaigning to clear their forbears' names after new evidence came to light about the cause of their actions?

No? Then why should these people be told to do so simply because you love the Chinook and want it to have your babies and you think that the smear on the pilots names and reputations isn't important enough to bother about?

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China pinches thousands for pron

Graham Marsden
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Damn...

... you beat me to it!

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Boys in blue caught breaking IT rules

Graham Marsden
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Dead Vulture

It's not just about the porn...

... but that seems to be what has caught El Reg's attention (unsurprisingly)

The more important part IMO is this bit from the original article "Officers have also been dismissed for using police databases to check out people’s backgrounds for personal reasons."

Now *THAT* is what El Reg should have been highlighting because with the increased surveillance of everyone and the DNA database and so on, this is what is going to be the problem in the future, not some Plod knocking one off the wrist.

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US feds squeeze bloggers for posting TSA orders

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

The sound you hear...

... is the slamming of stable doors...

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Tories swallow Web 2.0, spit out £1m crowdsource prize

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

"harness the wisdom" of voters

Oh great, so even more Daily Mail based policies...

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Sex in the Noughties: How was it for you?

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

"the rights of sexual minorities"

Howls of derisive laughter, Bruce!

What "rights" have been "protected" by laws such as the Dangerous Pictures Act making it a crime to possess so-called "Extreme Pornography"?

This was just one of the many examples of the Nanny State saying "We don't like this, so you shouldn't be allowed to see it/ do it even if there's no absolutely no evidence that it would make you do something nasty".

The only "right" that this Government has "protected" is *their* right to interfere in what consenting adults get up to in private and to tell us that anything that is unacceptable to their prudish "moral standards" should be illegal.

Regrettably, when they're booted out at the next election, it's distinctly unlikely that the Tories would do anything to roll back Nu Labour's moral agenda...

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Tobacco biofuel to solve energy/ environment crisis?

Graham Marsden
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Coat

My tobacco-powered car has broken down...

... have you tried emptying the ashtray...?

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Apple ejects Dalai Lama from Chinese iTunes

Graham Marsden
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Get real?

Try getting a set of ethics!

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Graham Marsden
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it's not Apple's fault the Chinese don't like the Dalai Lama.

No, but it's Apple's greed and hypocrisy that means they'll still do business with China.

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X-Box 360 theft suspect busted after online gaming sesh

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Definitely...

... Epic Fail!

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Fancy a lottery win? Smoke dried vulture brains

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

What have you been sm-

... oh, right, of course.

Nothing to see here, move along...!

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Escaped con regularly updates Facebook fan page

Graham Marsden
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Unfortunately...

... of course what Plod will do is insist that they need *even more* powers to watch and record every single Facebook entry and e-mail and tweet and web access and...

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California cops don defensive headcams

Graham Marsden
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Stop

"just mostly regular blokes"?

Sure, unfortunately it only takes a few rotten apples to spoil the whole barrel and given that in the UK we have seen Police and PCSOs acting like Constable Savage and deciding that as they are on "the front line against terrorism" they can throw their weight about as much as they like and harass people for such heinous activities as being "too tall" when taking photographs.

What's worse, however, is that whilst the rot is spreading at the bottom, the attitudes that cause it have come from the very top with the ACPO who aren't even answerable to the people who they work for, ie our elected representatives, yet they can still (and do) influence Government policy.

Yes, they're doing a tough job, they knew that when they signed up, if they can't take it, they shouldn't have joined in the first place.

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Secret code protecting cellphone calls set loose

Graham Marsden
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Well...

... certainly not the "I'M ON THE TRAIN!!" sort of conversations....

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Google 'open' memo betrays deep corporate delusion

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

You miss the point...

Google is used for searches by the majority of web users, yet they have the power to make a website simply disappear to those searchers.

Back in 2006 the Inquisition 21 website that campaigned against Operation Ore convictions vanished from Google search results and there was a statement that "Google may temporarily or permanently ban any site or site authors that engage in tactics designed to distort their rankings or mislead users in order to preserve the accuracy and quality of our search results."

See http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/09/21/google_delists_inq21/

Now is that "them behaving unethically"? And would most people know or care that their results are being manipulated?

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Legal highs now illegal

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Don't legislate, EDUCATE!

Yet again we see this Control-Freak, Nanny State Government trying to decide for us poor little people what is or isn't good for us.

Clearly we cannot be trusted with the information on the dangers of these products (or the fact that it's still more dangerous to use the roads or even get out of bed!) and be allowed to make up our own minds, we need them to say "don't you worry your pretty little heads about it, we'll make all the tough decisions so you won't need to think, so just sit down and watch the bread and circuses, erm, sorry, Get Me Out Ff Strictly Come X-Factor"

Expect a few more "last hurrahs" from this bunch of idiots before they're kicked out of power...

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My hospital HAL - Google man moots syringe that says no

Graham Marsden
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Stop

What though, if it isn't possible to identify the patient?

Ah, but you forget, everyone who goes into hospital or sees their doctor will automatically have their DNA taken and placed on the National Regist... erm, I mean "their health records" and hospital staff will then be equipped with DNA scanners so they can check they're treating the right person (or, at least, someone who shares the same DNA fingerprint)

And, of course, that data will never be abused by, say, checking someone's DNA with the Police Database to see if someone who comes into hospital is wanted for a crime (or, at least, whose DNA matches someone who is wanted for a crime...)

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Mobile networks line up to bash net snooping plan

Graham Marsden
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Haven't you heard of...

... policy based evidence making...?

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Graham Marsden
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Stop

It branded the consultation "disingenuous".

I think that's a polite way of saying "Bullshit!"

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Ferry giant refuses ID card

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

FLICK IT!

Didn't anyone teach P&O Staff how to give an ID card the "magic flick" which will identify it as genuine...?

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Crypto snafu grounds 3D Avatar screenings in Germany

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Howls...

... of derisive laughter, Bruce!

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Design firm sues Microsoft over Bing trademark

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

"We respect trademarks...

"...and other people's intellectual property"

I'm sorry, is this another Microsoft that we've not previously heard of...???

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UK e-Borders scheme thrown into confusion by EU rules

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

But, but, but...

... we're doing this because the EU *says* we have to do this...!

Well, that was what the Home Office were claiming, despite the EU not saying anything of the sort.

Glad to see the chickens coming home to roost at last, it's just a pity they pi$$ed away so much of our money first.

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Apple seeks patent on reality

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

What Apple (and the US Patent Office) need...

... is to get a *grip* on reality!

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Iraqi insurgents hack US drones with $26 software

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Why don't they...

... just extradite the insurgents to the USA and charge them with doing $70,000 worth of damage to US property...?

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Surveying anonymity and the public good

Graham Marsden
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Stop

"a mindset on the part of some officials...

"... that if the end is for the public good, then it doesn’t matter if the rules around data collection get slightly bent."

Hmm, "it's for your own good", so don't you worry your pretty little heads about it, you can trust us, we're looking after you, just enjoy the Bread and Circuses, erm, I mean go and watch X-Factor and Strictly Come Dancing..."

Oh and as for "That would appear to be joined, at the lower levels of government, by a poor understanding of the letter of the law when it comes to Data Protection", and at the higher levels of government by a complete lack of understanding (or they just don't care) that the public don't trust them with our data...!

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Government lets CCTV watchdog off the leash

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Home Office research published in 2005...

"...showed that over 80% of respondents supported the use of CCTV to deal with crime in their neighbourhood."

Did they?

From http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/rds/pdfs05/hors292.pdf

"Finally, although the public for the most part did not feel safer, and despite their perceiving

CCTV as less effective than they initially thought, they were still predominantly in favour of

its use. Even though they concluded that it did not reduce crime, there was no pressure to

have it removed, and there were no major concerns, once people had experienced CCTV,

about infringement of civil liberties."

That sounds like less than a ringing endorsement to me. Also look at Appendix A which is rather critical of the methodology and the lack of control groups for much of the data.

And from the conclusions: "Assessed on the evidence presented in this report, CCTV cannot be deemed a success. It has cost a lot of money and it has not produced the anticipated benefits"

Basically (unsurprisingly) the Home Office has spun the results to give the answers they want.

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Official: British telly really is almost all repeats

Graham Marsden
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Dead Vulture

Meaningless comparisons

The complaints about TV being "All repeats" were perfectly valid when we only had three terrestrial channels to watch and no satellite or cable, let alone 4od, iPlayer, Watch Again etc.

Now we have +1 channels, BBC 3, More4, Sky 2 and 3, Dave, Alibi, Watch, Yesterday etc etc yes, we're getting old stuff shown again, but this is *not* to the exclusion of *new* material.

And are all these "repeats" such a bad thing? When Blake's 7 was first broadcast I missed the first two episodes due to my parents insisting I do my homework first (which dates me!) and it was a long while before I could actually see what happened in the beginning. These days I'd just switch to a +1 channel or watch the repeat later in the week on BBC3 or equivalent.

So, really, what's the big deal?

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LHC Xmas shutdown today - massive boffin roister planned

Graham Marsden
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Coat

So...

... how long before someone says "Hey, how about we try roasting the turkey in the LHC"?

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Intel staff 'fired' in ring piece stunt

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Fake!

Type your comment here — plain text only, no HTML

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ID card minister forgets ID card

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

"Under the current situation...

"...people bring their details in and they get lost. This saves a lot of messing around."

Yes, when we have ID cards and a National ID Register we won't have to lose details one at a time, we can lose them *ALL* in one go!

That will save *so much* messing around!!!

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Home Secretary unmoved by last-ditch McKinnon protests

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Johnson also restated his determination...

... that the 43 year-old ought to be treated "fairly"

Just not by anyone in the UK, especially not the Home Secretary!

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Facebookers made into fans of Berlsuconi in post-attack row

Graham Marsden
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Dead Vulture

Umm...

Who is this "Berlsuconi" bloke mentioned in the title...?

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Google weighs in to Aussie firewall row

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Do no...

... hypocrisy...!

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Google says ad blockers will save online ads

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

"Online advertisers will ensure their ads aren't too annoying,"

ROFLALALAL!

Oh yeah, like if that was ever going to happen in these days of AdBlock Plus it would have *already* happened!

I read in forums about people on Facebook complaining about one ad for smilies that if you accidentally rolled your mouse over would yell "HELLO!" through your speakers. Of course every one of them wants to know how to stop that happening again and they get the same answer: Firefox and ABP.

Way to lose customers guys!!

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Philip K. Dick's kid howls over Googlephone handle

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@Nexus is a common dictionary word

So is Apple!

But try telling that to Apple Corporation and Apple Music...

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Data collector threatens scribe who reported breach

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Another perfect example...

... of the Streisand Effect!

How many people would have heard of the vulnerability of this system if they hadn't been so stupid as to try to sue someone for helping them?

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Loud sex woman coughs to ASBO breach

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

15th December 2010 (i.e. today):

Err, can I borrow your time machine....?

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3 billion have suffered Slade's 'Merry Xmas Everybody'

Graham Marsden
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You mean...

... "Just Another Christmas Song" by the Tull

"Hey, Santa. Pass us that bottle!"

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German shoppers slug it out with salami

Graham Marsden
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Why does this remind me of...

... the Great Tea Trolley Disaster of ‘67?

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US Congress earmarks $30m for anti-piracy fight

Graham Marsden
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"The MPAA, on behalf of the motion picture industry...

"... commends Congress and the Obama Administration for this commitment to our continued large wage packets and bonuses"

There, corrected it for you :-)

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GSHP: The green tech even carbon sceptics will like

Graham Marsden
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Now let's hear more of this sort of thing...

... Forget all the pointless "Global Warming is Man Made", "No it isn't!", "Tis so!" arguments and let's just hear positive things that people can do to actually lower their energy consumption and save themselves money instead!

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