Feeds

* Posts by Graham Marsden

5015 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Sarko to walk tall in factory visit

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
FAIL

How tall was Napoleon Bonaparte...?

Boney surrounded himself with members of the Imperial Guard who all stood at least 6' tall and it didn't seem to cause him a problem!

(Although that begs the question "How tall was the Duke of Wellington"... ;-) )

0
0

Gov hits brakes on vetting scheme

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
WTF?

You can't make this stuff up...

I have just seen an interview with Parmjit Dhanda, the former Labour Education Minister, on BBC News 24 where he made the astonishing statements that since the scheme had already been modified this was a "knee-jerk:" reaction by the Coalition and, even more mind-boggling, that "this was a sad day for children and their parents and a good day if you were a predatory paedophile"!

Well New Labour know all about knee-jerk reactions since they made enough of them during their time of office, but to say that getting rid of a scheme that relied on gossip, hearsay and unsubstantianted accusations to make decisions and that would assume that *everyone* who wanted to educate or help children was a potential threat to them was a "good day if you were 'a predatory paedophile" is utterly beneath contempt.

14
0

Internet 1 - England goalkeeper 0

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Not sure...

... they keep referring to it as *The* World Cup, but it could be the Cricket World Cup or the Rugby one or the Tennis one or the Skiing one or...

2
0

Apple slapped with lawsuit over 'iAds' monicker

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Or perhaps...

... iPwnu

0
0

Home Office passport fraud sweep flops

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
FAIL

Of course...

... the whole exercise was probably really just an excuse to start developing systems required for ID cards...

5
0

Ofcom sides with mobile operators on 0845

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
WTF?

"Local/ National Calls"...?

It's now actually cheaper for me to phone Europe or the USA than it is for me to call an 0870 or even 0845 number!

1
0

Ofcom refuses to bend over smut TV link-links

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Down

Another one...

... for the Coalition to include in the Freedom Bill methinks...

0
0

Commons slapped for FoI fastidiousness

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
WTF?

Freedom of Information...

... but not freedom to *tell* people about what you've found out???

0
0

Key Star Trek tri-corder boffinry breakthrough

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Boffin

Only...

... if you install the requisite sound file...

0
0

Home Office launches urgent review of illegal police stop'n'search

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Hahahahahaaa!!

"But did they find any terrorists with these stops?"

Reads it again and laughs some more....

0
0

ToryDems stoke ID card 'bonfire'

Graham Marsden
Silver badge

Anyone want to start a sweep...

... on how many Labour MPs are going to vote against this bill?

And how many will, purely by co-incidence, be absent from the Chamber when the vote is taken...?!

8
0

Subscribers get $3 each in Classmates suit. How much did the lawyers make?

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
WTF?

Trebles...

... all round!

0
0

Owner of Russia's biggest breasts sues over airline buffeting

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Down

€100,000...

... buys a lot of pain killers.

But not a lot of common sense...

0
0

Olympus apologises after shipping malware-laced cameras in Japan

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
WTF?

"consumers are advised to disable Autorun in Windows"?

How about Microsoft issuing a patch that will disable Autorun instead...?

1
0

China sidesteps Great Firewall with web roadmap

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Down

Ah, "Freedom of Expression"...

... means "Freedom to express things that WE approve of".

As supported by New Labour, the Australian Government, Iran, North Korea....

10
0

Council staff helping selves to data

Graham Marsden
Silver badge

Another Portsmouth resident

A couple of weeks ago I was putting my rubbish out and noticed that there were a whole pile of bin bags stuck in front of my property, also last week someone dumped a washing machine in the alley at the back of my property.

Why does anyone think that if there is a payment or reward scheme it won't be subject to similar abuses?

0
0

Steve Irwin surveillance-crocodiles travel across oceans

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Coat

One croc said to another croc...

... wow, mate, you get wi-fi on that thing...?

1
0

Arctic microbes 'could survive on Mars'

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Coat

But what is a "bastard hammer"...?

Is it a hand-and-a-half hammer?

3
0

South African Bill to block all porn

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
FAIL

Oh deary me...

... Daggersedge says he's right, so that's the end of the argument...!

The point that you are missing is that it is not "what is so sacred about porn" but "why should porn be treated differently from anything else" just because you (or they) don't like it (NB I'm talking about porn featuring consenting adults before you start trying to drag in red herrings about kiddie porn)

And using phrases like "any colour as long as it's black" have a certain irony when you're talking about South Africa!! (SA refused to sign up for the UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights back in 1948 because it required all people to be considered equal...)

PS Moderation is *not* censorship, these forums have a set of rules which people agree to abide by to post here. If you don't like those rules you are *FREE* to go and set up your own forums with your own set of rules.

Censorship is when *all* forums are forced to abide by a government imposed set of rules where you are not free to set up your own ones that have a different set of rules.

4
1
Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Boffin

@Daggersedge

South Africa has signed and ratified the African Charter on Human and People's Rights, Article 9 of which states that "1. Every individual shall have the right to receive information" so they agree that there *is* a right to "view pornography or anything else" unless they're going to start picking and choosing which information is acceptable for people to receive.

And as this is the *African* Charter, it is at the very least the business of others on that continent apart from those living in South Africa since those others are "Firmly convinced of their duty to promote and protect human and peoples’ rights and freedoms and taking into account the importance traditionally attached to these rights and freedoms in Africa".

Yes, other countries do things differently, but when they a) accept a set of rights but then b) start restricting those rights, someone needs to call them to account.

7
1

Final Fantasy XIII ate my Playstation

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
WTF?

Which part of XIII...

... is the "final" part??

0
0

Salacious smut soaks 12% of web

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
FAIL

@xpert_con

And what if someone is searching for oh, I don't know, some stats to *verify* that claim about "116,000 searches for child pornography" per day?

Exactly what terms do you think they might use?

Oh, look, someone searching for "child pornography"...!

0
0
Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Megaphone

Can I just add a big...

... SO WHAT???

People like looking at porn, well, isn't that a surprise! Despite the best efforts of the Mary Whitehouses et al of this world, the human interest in sex and all that goes with it continues unabated.

In other news, Popes are Catholic and (oh, you know the rest...)

3
0

Gadget tax needed 'to save US newspapers'

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Coat

But don't you know...

... it was The Sun What Won It!

1
0

EU Parliament plans Google-powered paedo detector

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
WTF?

"sifting through logs for questionable search terms"

And who, exactly, defines what "questionable search terms" are?

2
0

Mobiles back in the frame as bee killers

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Coat

I read the first line of the article...

... as "Strapping a pair of mobile phones to the side of a bee" and thought "well, duh!" ;-)

0
0

Time to kill the zombie health records

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
FAIL

@Anonymous Coward

Actually that's what we call "Taking the piss"...

0
0
Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Down

Dear Mr Nigel 11

It has come to our attention that you have been treated in the past for high blood pressure. As such we are increasing your life insurance and car insurance premiums as we consider you to be a greater risk.

Yours sincerely,

The Big Insurance Company.

PS Still, you've got nothing to hide, so why should you worry?

0
0
Graham Marsden
Silver badge
FAIL

@Anonymous Coward

If you think that having lots of people having access to your medical records is so great, please post them here.

Oh, but you're anonymous...

0
0
Graham Marsden
Silver badge
FAIL

@Mike JVX - Stop with the Scare Tactics

Tell me, are you some sort of shill for a company who has a nice lucrative contract for this system?

I got a letter from my local GPs office saying "We notice from your medical records that you have requested for your records not to be held on the shared electronic record" and pointing out that there is a local record that I also have to opt out from with an attached form so I could fill that in and drop it in (very helpful of them).

Also attached was a document (see the link below) basically trying to scare the reader into thinking "OMG if I don't have a summary car record I might be killed by someone in the NHS screwing up and not taking the basic precautions that they should!"

http://issuu.com/skybluemedicalgroup/docs/if-i-do-not-have-a-summary-record---patient-leafle

Well I don't have any allergies, on-going conditions or other medical problems that anyone needs to know about. If I did then, like my friend who is diabetic, I would carry a card in my wallet or an emergency bracelet/ dog-tag with the relevant details in, rather than having the people attending me have to a) look for some details in my wallet and *then* phone up/ log in to a computer system to hopefully find *MY* records and not someone else with the same name or, even worse, the records of someone else which have been incorrectly input by some minimum wage contract staff.

So, no thanks, I'm not going to be scared into submitting my details to something, even one which I will have "24 hour access to" in order to check it for errors (why should I have to validate *their* data input?) and I don't think that this will give me "peace of mind" when I'll be thinking "how secure is their system *really*?"

1
1

German bank robbers in Italian Job moment

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Happy

Panzerknacker?

Translates as "tank breaker".

I like it :-)

0
0

Cops cuff coke-smuggling lingerie model

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Coat

In the words of Monty Python...

.. I sentence you to be taken from this place...

... and back to my place!

5
0

Microsoft morris dancers upset Soho with Hotmail relaunch

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Happy

Although...

... there is usually the obligatory long drawn out chord on the Accordian to give people time to leave the area :-)

2
0

Murdoch's paywall: The end of the suicide era?

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
FAIL

No...

People downvoted him because he pointed out a spelling error and ignored the rest of the comment.

In any case, pedanting spelling errors is the sort of thing that you expect from commentards, not El Reg journotards.

0
0

IT Crowd gets fifth series run

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Boffin

Perhaps I'm missing something...

... yes, The Big Bang Theory!

Geek humour that's actually funny.

1
1

Captain Cyborg sidekick implants virus-infected chip

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
WTF?

Err...

... so this guy is effectively saying he's deliberately attempting to spread malware?

Isn't there a law against that?

0
0

Mountain View delivers Google Analytics opt-out

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Up

NoScript

... I've been blocking Google Analytics with NoScript since I installed it and it's never caused problems yet.

0
0

Beeb, British Museum face smut issues over saucy pot

Graham Marsden
Silver badge

They can probably get away with it...

... by claiming that this image is "not for sexual arousal".

However what would be better is if everyone writes to their MP (find their contact details on http://www.writetothem.com) and urge them to include the Cartoon Porn and Extreme Porn laws in the Government's Freedom Bill which, as stated in the Queen's Speech is to "Repeal unnecessary laws" as it's clear that these laws are most definitely unnecessary, unneeded and unenforceable.

3
0

Queen's speech pledges faster deficit cut, 'freedom bill'

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Boffin

conspiracy?

No, not conspiracy, just ignorance on your part.

Try looking up "gilts" which are government backed bonds whereby the government borrows money from investors, pension funds etc in exchange for a guaranteed rate of interest and you'll get some idea of what actually makes up a big chunk of National Debt.

2
0

Plug-in pledges to rid web of Justin Bieber

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Up

I am pleased to be able to say:

"who the hell is Justin Bieber?"

Followed by:

"That was rhetorical, I don't even care who Justin Bieber is!"

1
0

Terence Conran slams 'appalling' Olympic mascots

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Down

@TimNevins

Looking at the mascots, they seem to be tinfoil coated...

0
0

3-million-km-long comet plunges into Sun

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Coat

Disaster Area...

... did it better.

Ship, sun, BOOM!

0
0

Atlantis spacewalkers snapped through shuttle windows

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
FAIL

But you haven't learned to read Snopes...

http://www.snopes.com/business/genius/spacepen.asp

1
0
Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Coat

Are you sure...

... they're not offering to wipe the windows over with a dirty sponge and a knackered squeegee and charge $10,000,000 for the "service"?

0
0

Oz customs search lappies and mobes for smut

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Boffin

Ah, but electric fly-swatters...

... can be used for other purposes in the BDSM community.

Erm, allegedly... ;-)

0
0

Young Boozer seeks Alabama offie office

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Happy

Clearly...

... El Reg are using the Acme Movable Yard Arm which can be set such that provided there is any sun in the sky, it will always be over the Yard Arm! :-)

0
0

Google turns on SSL encryption for search

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Down

So nobody can snoop on my searches...

... oh, except for Google, of course...

5
0

LibCons to reduce vetting and barring

Graham Marsden
Silver badge

Vanessa George...

... the woman who ran that nursery in Devon and who took pictures of the children under her charge had been fully vetted and thereby cleared as "safe to work with children".

So even with these ridiculously over-protective "something must be done" regulations, there are still going to be abuses, meanwhile anyone who wants to work with children is treated as a potential kiddie fiddler and any gossip, hearsay or false accusations can be used to bar them from that job.

That these crimes happen is not a fault with Civil Liberties, it's a problem with people and, despite the efforts of the last regime, passing laws to change people's behaviour does not work, nor will getting rid of those ludicrous laws put children (or anyone else) more at risk.

2
0

US boffins synthesize self-replicating bacteria

Graham Marsden
Silver badge

Throw the switch, Igor...!

... Yeth Marthter!

1
0

Clegg promises liberties restoration

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Boffin

@ElFatbob

Ask the Tories where they pinched their ideas from...

(PS And do the words "I agree with Nick" ring any bells?)

1
0