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* Posts by Graham Marsden

4741 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Facebook rejects CEOP 'panic button' demands (again)

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

"like putting a burglar alarm inside your house"

And then not telling your children to lock the front door when they go out...

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Government wastes millions on redundant cycle route planner

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

That depends...

... do you want to start requiring joggers and athletes to be licenced as well given that their CO2 output will be higher that everyone else's?

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Graham Marsden
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Troll

Oh gods, not again...

1) Road Tax was discontinued after WWII, you now pay "Vehicle Excise Duty", ie taxed on your ownership of a vehicle.

2) Said ownership is based, now, on the amount of pollution a vehicle causes. How much pollution does a bicycle put out?

3) The administration of such a scheme would cost much more than any revenue generated unless bikes paid similar amounts of VED as other vehicles, even though they cause less pollution and less damage to the roads and take up less space as well.

4) etc etc etc in response to a tired old argument...

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Lost way...

Oh dear, once again we get the "some cyclists are idiots, so we don't need to respect *any* of them argument"

Yes, I agree, speaking as a cyclist, there are some pillocks who give the rest of us a bad name, but that's no excuse for ridiculous cycle routes that were designed by people who don't understand that if you have to keep stopping and starting (and even dismounting if you go by the silly signs!) you are wasting energy.

It's then not simply a matter of putting your foot on the gas, it's putting your foot on the pedal and having to recover momentum that you lost due to a badly designed route which is mostly intended to keep bikes out of the way of cars, rather than actually be any use to the cyclist!

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Parliamentary wash-up washes away liberties

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Forget the wash up...

... there should be a law against the Parliamentary Guillotine which allows the Government to set a ridiculously short amount of time for *any* Bill to be discussed in the Commons, hence why the Dangerous Pictures provisions of the Criminal Justice and Immigration Act were only ever debated in the Lords.

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McKinnon's mum stands against Straw at general election

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

he could have been tried, convicted, done his time and been out by now.

Or he could have tried for a minor offence in this country and got a slap on the wrist or tried for a trumped up serious offence in the USA and locked up for years.

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Google tweaks search results with mystery site speedometer

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

The anti-slashdot effect...?

The slashdot effect makes sites slow to respond because of the number of people visiting them.

So will this new nonsense from google mean that such sites will suddenly disappear off the search listings because they're too popular...???

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eBay trumps Tiffany in trade mark ruling

Graham Marsden
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Happy

Tower Bridge? Marble Arch??

Yours must be fakes, because I'm selling those next week...!

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Who is dumb enough...

... to buy Tiffany Jewellery (let alone luxury cars or aeroplanes) from an online tat bazaar and *not* wonder whether they're getting the genuine article or going to get ripped off?

Whoever they are, I'd like to offer them Nelson's Column which I have for sale...

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CEOP renews attack on Facebook

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Same old Same Old...

... from Gamble who wants to expand his ego-trip online empire a bit more and is resorting to ridiculous "if you don't agree with me you agree with paedos and rapists and murderers oh my!" accusations to try to get his way.

Epic Fail.

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UKIP suspends Scouse candidate over sado smut movies

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

So what, exactly, is their problem?

UKIP claim to be "Libertarian", yet when it comes to a little bit of what turns out to be consensual sex games, they suddenly throw their hands up in the air and reveal themselves to be just another bunch of control-freak hypocrites...

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Brown promises no change to basic tax rate

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Desperate vote grabbing...

Now that Gordon Clown realises he's screwed, this is just damage limitation, "promising" stuff that he's got no chance of delivering in the hope that the public will be confused enough to not give him the good kicking he desperately deserves.

Meanwhile "Call me Dave" Cameron is pandering to the Daily Fail reading public by trying to bring back National Service but hoping to con people by putting the word "Citizen" in the middle as if that makes a difference.

A pox on both their houses.

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Wikileaks video shows US gunfire on Reuters staff

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@MeRp

You keep using phrases like "appeared to be armed" and "from the perspective of the gunship" these people were the "ENEMY", but, tell me, were any of them Brazilian Electricians because it seems to me that the same "Shoot first and don't even bother asking questions" doctrine appears(!) to have been applied here.

"Are they the enemy?"

"Dunno, but if we shoot them, they'll sure as hell be our enemies then!"

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Cartoon Law goes live

Graham Marsden
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@PT

You do not have to wait to hear from your solicitor because Baroness O'Cathain's attempts to get a "Dangerous Writings Act" passed got short shrift from anyone with half a brain!

See http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/ld200809/ldbills/033/amend/su033-ivb.htm

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UK competition authority probes Amazon

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Down

Someone please tell me...

... this is an April Fool's gag...???

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Millions wasted on IT: PAC chair parting shot

Graham Marsden
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@RW

You won't get much disagreement from me on that!

To paraphrase Arthur C Clarke and Douglas Adams amongst others "Anyone who is capable of getting themselves elected is, ipso facto, unsuitable to hold that position"!

Of course if they actually bothered to *listen* to the people who are qualified to advise them... (howls of derisive laughter)

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

"departments have not always shown themselves to be intelligent clients..."

"...and sometimes show "a lack of capacity to engage effectively with suppliers"

In other news: (Bears, woods, Popes...)

The problem is that Politicians generally have damn all experience of the business world (apart from being bought expensive lunches on private yachts...) and consequently get taken for a ride by companies who see Government contracts as a cash cow because the requirements are unclear at the start and then repeatedly change according to what is flavour of the month.

This has been seen time and time again with billions of pounds of public money being pissed away on useless or ill-designed projects, yet still nothing is done to fix the underlying problem.

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Your internet policy sucks, US tells Aussies

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Psst, USA...

... have you taken a look at the UK's internet policy recently...?

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Microsoft teams with Google in name of privacy

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

"protect the online privacy of netizens...

"...from government snooping...."

Great, now what about Microsoft's and Google's snooping...?

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Bank security guru: Sue your bank for refund

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Up

Bravo Ross Anderson!

Nat West's current slogan is "Helpful Banking", but what they really mean is "helping themselves to our money"!

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Is iFlorist the greatest website in the universe, ever?

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Artificial flowers?

Perhaps they should register iAstroturf...

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A quarter of underage children have social networking profiles

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

I blame the parents...

... the Internet is *not* a child-minding service!

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Behavioural targeting works, claims US study

Graham Marsden
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Grenade

Beahvioural Targetting works, claim study...

... AdBlock Plus works even better, assert users!

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Sarah's Law review skewed by handpicked sample

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

How can a check catch someone who has "slipped through the net"?

It can't of course, that's why Vanessa George in that Nursery in Devon was able to carry on with her activities despite all the Government required checks...

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Re: I don't need a eCRB/Pedo Check.

"I do think that the ability to check is important... "

So "you don't need a check", but everyone else does?

Why does the word "hypocrisy" come to mind...?

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Graham Marsden
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WTF?

'Is this guy all right?'

You move in with a new partner who has a couple of kids.

Since most sexual abuse takes place in the home surely her ex- should be entitled to check and make sure that YOU are not a kiddy fiddler.

Of course if he wanted custody but doesn't think he'll granted it, putting in requests for checks against you *and* her would be a good way of raising suspicion that maybe the kids will not be safe at her place...

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Graham Marsden
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Paediatrician/ paedophile

Yvette Cloette was not killed, however her home was attacked and she had to leave see:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/this-britain/vigilante-mob-attacks-home-of-paediatrician-710864.html

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Roger Boyes probes Vienna Boys’ Choir

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Paging...

... Captain Pugwash!

(And, yes, I know it was an urban myth...)

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European conference sets agenda for cybercrime fight

Graham Marsden
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Alert

Come one, come all...

... lots of Government Pork for you all!

(I wonder what they call it in Islamic/ Jewish countries?!)

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Durex India eStore spills customers' personal details

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

The Streisand Effect...

... strikes again!

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Segway + motorbike = futuristic dorkmobile

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

You can't counter-steer it...

... and you can't get your knee down either!!

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MPs criticise government's climate of fear

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

@1984

It wasn't just 1984, look up the term "Enabling Act"...

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Met launches net café spy operation

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

"get caught doing something they are not allowed to be doing"

"Not allowed to be doing"? Allowed by whom??

There's a lot of things that a lot of people in this would would like to "not allow" others to do, be that being gay, freely protesting outside Parliament, looking at "extreme" pornography (ie something that the person advocating the law doesn't like) or visiting websites about the Tiananmen Square massacre.

If you really have no idea why people are "up in arms" about this, I suggest you consider the words of George Santayana: "Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it".

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Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Paranoia:

Stay Alert!

Trust No-one!

Keep Your Laser Handy!

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FBI cyber cop says 'very existence' of US under threat

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Exaggerating much...?

I think I smell someone at the US government Pork Barrel...

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Police reject Tory plans for elected chiefs

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

"The operational independence of Chief Constables."

Whilst I agree that Chief Constables should not be elected because that would lead to "populist policing" with the Tabloid Media trying to set the policing agenda with such nonsense as Zero Tolerance (=Zero Common Sense) and Megan's/ Sarah's Law (in the UK the Police know where about 97% of all sex offenders are, in the US some estimates say that up to 33% of sex offenders have "disappeared) when 'Sir Hugh said any idea the police were under "political influence" could undermine democracy' he rather neglected to mention that the ACPO influences politics without being accountable to anyone.

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MIT boffins on track of portable 60-watt seawater desalinator

Graham Marsden
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The "drought" of 1976...

... was probably the reason that the survey was done.

I remember some friends visiting from Australia who commented that where they lived they'd not had any rain for about five years and they were just considering declaring drought conditions...

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Bill Gates goes (mini) nuclear

Graham Marsden
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Gates Horns

Please tell me...

... that Bill won't be "helping" by giving them copies of Windows for Nuclear Reactors...!

(Insert obligatory reboot jokes here)

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Google takes China-buffed halo to Oz

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Down

Yeah, but...

... Google are all very well saying "you shouldn't censor the internet", but whilst they're amassing huge amounts of information on everyone and everything, they can't exactly claim to be "doing no evil"...

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US couple jailed for TV shoplifting brag

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Epic FAIL!

If only other crooks were as dumb as them!

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Polaroid enthusiasts unveil new instant film

Graham Marsden
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JPEGs future proof...?

But not proof against lossy compression and pictorial artifacts...

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Man could face prison over six second 'extreme porn' clip

Graham Marsden
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Saw etc...

Those films are legal, because the law specifically excludes anything that's been classified by the BBFC.

However it *includes* extracts taken from such films if a "reasonable person" would assume that you owned those clips for "sexual arousal"!

In other words owning a whole film is fine, but an extract from it isn't.

Paging Mr Kafka...

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Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

The Thought Police are here!

The original idea of this law was, supposedly, to stop another death like that of Jane Longhurst by Graham Coutts who had, apparently, thousands of images and visited sites like Necrobabes repeatedly (despite the fact that JL admitted to a friend who later testified in court that she'd willingly and consensually played erotic asphyxiation games with Graham Coutts).

But it seems that if this so-called "Extreme Pornography" is so dangerous and corrosive that just watching *six seconds* of it is likely to result in someone committing an act of violence or murder and justifies locking them up, clearly it doesn't go far enough and we should now adopt the plans that Scotland has to include (simulated) rape images and whilst we're at it, introduce Baroness O' Cathain's proposed "Extreme Writings" law so we can't even *read* about such things in case we do them!

Obviously we are all such weak minded and impressionable idiots that we cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is not and can't figure out for ourselves whether doing something "extreme" is actually excessively dangerous, so the Nanny State must step in and take all this nasty stuff away from us and make us sit on the Naughty Step (or a jail cell) for even daring to *think* about such things...

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Pandora plus Endor: Multi hab-moon motherworld discovered

Graham Marsden
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Headmaster

Erm...

... Given that a parsec is a bit over 3.2 light years, you'll be waiting a bit more than 280 years.

Try about 3000 years!

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Brown creates one UK.gov website to rule them all

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

And of course...

... to access our wonderful new system, you'll just need to sign up to our new iDcard...

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Dodgy BitDefender update bricks systems

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Why don't they test these things properly first??

A recent AVG 9.0 update didn't brick systems, but it's still incapable of working nicely with Zone Alarm and caused browsing problems for a lot of people.

The only way I found to get it working properly was to re-install it but remove the Link Scanner.

Once again I think updates should be released to the staff of the companies first, so they can properly Beta test it!

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Pirates of the Caribbean say 'narrr' to Bulgarian airbags

Graham Marsden
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Pirates of the Caribbean IV...

... The Quest for More Money?

... Scraping the Bottom of the Barrel of Rum?

... From the Depths of Davy Jones' Locker?

... Flogging a Dead Squid?

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Loud sex ASBO woman back on the job

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Breach in Human Rights?

And what about the right of her neighbours to enjoy the peaceful occupation of their property whcih she has repeatedly infringed?

She and her partner can have as much nookie as they want, they just have to keep the bloody noise down!

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Computer glitch prompts 50 raids on elderly couple's home

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

"Err, Sergeant...

"... Haven't we been here before and found a harmless old couple?"

"Shut up, Officer Liberal, and get that battering ram ready!"

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PayPal enables cash-by-slap

Graham Marsden
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Coat

And you thought...

... that that Lap Dancer was just being very enthusiastic...

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