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* Posts by Graham Marsden

4743 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Gadget tax needed 'to save US newspapers'

Graham Marsden
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But don't you know...

... it was The Sun What Won It!

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Salacious smut soaks 12% of web

Graham Marsden
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Megaphone

Can I just add a big...

... SO WHAT???

People like looking at porn, well, isn't that a surprise! Despite the best efforts of the Mary Whitehouses et al of this world, the human interest in sex and all that goes with it continues unabated.

In other news, Popes are Catholic and (oh, you know the rest...)

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EU Parliament plans Google-powered paedo detector

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

"sifting through logs for questionable search terms"

And who, exactly, defines what "questionable search terms" are?

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Mobiles back in the frame as bee killers

Graham Marsden
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I read the first line of the article...

... as "Strapping a pair of mobile phones to the side of a bee" and thought "well, duh!" ;-)

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Time to kill the zombie health records

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@Anonymous Coward

Actually that's what we call "Taking the piss"...

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Graham Marsden
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Dear Mr Nigel 11

It has come to our attention that you have been treated in the past for high blood pressure. As such we are increasing your life insurance and car insurance premiums as we consider you to be a greater risk.

Yours sincerely,

The Big Insurance Company.

PS Still, you've got nothing to hide, so why should you worry?

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@Anonymous Coward

If you think that having lots of people having access to your medical records is so great, please post them here.

Oh, but you're anonymous...

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@Mike JVX - Stop with the Scare Tactics

Tell me, are you some sort of shill for a company who has a nice lucrative contract for this system?

I got a letter from my local GPs office saying "We notice from your medical records that you have requested for your records not to be held on the shared electronic record" and pointing out that there is a local record that I also have to opt out from with an attached form so I could fill that in and drop it in (very helpful of them).

Also attached was a document (see the link below) basically trying to scare the reader into thinking "OMG if I don't have a summary car record I might be killed by someone in the NHS screwing up and not taking the basic precautions that they should!"

http://issuu.com/skybluemedicalgroup/docs/if-i-do-not-have-a-summary-record---patient-leafle

Well I don't have any allergies, on-going conditions or other medical problems that anyone needs to know about. If I did then, like my friend who is diabetic, I would carry a card in my wallet or an emergency bracelet/ dog-tag with the relevant details in, rather than having the people attending me have to a) look for some details in my wallet and *then* phone up/ log in to a computer system to hopefully find *MY* records and not someone else with the same name or, even worse, the records of someone else which have been incorrectly input by some minimum wage contract staff.

So, no thanks, I'm not going to be scared into submitting my details to something, even one which I will have "24 hour access to" in order to check it for errors (why should I have to validate *their* data input?) and I don't think that this will give me "peace of mind" when I'll be thinking "how secure is their system *really*?"

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German bank robbers in Italian Job moment

Graham Marsden
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Happy

Panzerknacker?

Translates as "tank breaker".

I like it :-)

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Cops cuff coke-smuggling lingerie model

Graham Marsden
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In the words of Monty Python...

.. I sentence you to be taken from this place...

... and back to my place!

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Microsoft morris dancers upset Soho with Hotmail relaunch

Graham Marsden
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Happy

Although...

... there is usually the obligatory long drawn out chord on the Accordian to give people time to leave the area :-)

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Murdoch's paywall: The end of the suicide era?

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

No...

People downvoted him because he pointed out a spelling error and ignored the rest of the comment.

In any case, pedanting spelling errors is the sort of thing that you expect from commentards, not El Reg journotards.

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IT Crowd gets fifth series run

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Perhaps I'm missing something...

... yes, The Big Bang Theory!

Geek humour that's actually funny.

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Captain Cyborg sidekick implants virus-infected chip

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Err...

... so this guy is effectively saying he's deliberately attempting to spread malware?

Isn't there a law against that?

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Mountain View delivers Google Analytics opt-out

Graham Marsden
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NoScript

... I've been blocking Google Analytics with NoScript since I installed it and it's never caused problems yet.

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Beeb, British Museum face smut issues over saucy pot

Graham Marsden
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They can probably get away with it...

... by claiming that this image is "not for sexual arousal".

However what would be better is if everyone writes to their MP (find their contact details on http://www.writetothem.com) and urge them to include the Cartoon Porn and Extreme Porn laws in the Government's Freedom Bill which, as stated in the Queen's Speech is to "Repeal unnecessary laws" as it's clear that these laws are most definitely unnecessary, unneeded and unenforceable.

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Queen's speech pledges faster deficit cut, 'freedom bill'

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

conspiracy?

No, not conspiracy, just ignorance on your part.

Try looking up "gilts" which are government backed bonds whereby the government borrows money from investors, pension funds etc in exchange for a guaranteed rate of interest and you'll get some idea of what actually makes up a big chunk of National Debt.

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Plug-in pledges to rid web of Justin Bieber

Graham Marsden
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I am pleased to be able to say:

"who the hell is Justin Bieber?"

Followed by:

"That was rhetorical, I don't even care who Justin Bieber is!"

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Terence Conran slams 'appalling' Olympic mascots

Graham Marsden
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@TimNevins

Looking at the mascots, they seem to be tinfoil coated...

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3-million-km-long comet plunges into Sun

Graham Marsden
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Disaster Area...

... did it better.

Ship, sun, BOOM!

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Atlantis spacewalkers snapped through shuttle windows

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

But you haven't learned to read Snopes...

http://www.snopes.com/business/genius/spacepen.asp

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Graham Marsden
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Are you sure...

... they're not offering to wipe the windows over with a dirty sponge and a knackered squeegee and charge $10,000,000 for the "service"?

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Oz customs search lappies and mobes for smut

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Ah, but electric fly-swatters...

... can be used for other purposes in the BDSM community.

Erm, allegedly... ;-)

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Young Boozer seeks Alabama offie office

Graham Marsden
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Happy

Clearly...

... El Reg are using the Acme Movable Yard Arm which can be set such that provided there is any sun in the sky, it will always be over the Yard Arm! :-)

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Google turns on SSL encryption for search

Graham Marsden
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So nobody can snoop on my searches...

... oh, except for Google, of course...

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LibCons to reduce vetting and barring

Graham Marsden
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Vanessa George...

... the woman who ran that nursery in Devon and who took pictures of the children under her charge had been fully vetted and thereby cleared as "safe to work with children".

So even with these ridiculously over-protective "something must be done" regulations, there are still going to be abuses, meanwhile anyone who wants to work with children is treated as a potential kiddie fiddler and any gossip, hearsay or false accusations can be used to bar them from that job.

That these crimes happen is not a fault with Civil Liberties, it's a problem with people and, despite the efforts of the last regime, passing laws to change people's behaviour does not work, nor will getting rid of those ludicrous laws put children (or anyone else) more at risk.

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US boffins synthesize self-replicating bacteria

Graham Marsden
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Throw the switch, Igor...!

... Yeth Marthter!

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Clegg promises liberties restoration

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@ElFatbob

Ask the Tories where they pinched their ideas from...

(PS And do the words "I agree with Nick" ring any bells?)

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Graham Marsden
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Bravo Nick Clegg!

I was worried that a coalition between the Tories and the Lib Dems would end up as a one-sided affair with all the power in the Blue camp, but this sort of thing shows that the Tories *are* actually willing to be reasonable in their exercise of coalition power.

BTW To anyone who wants to write to Tory MPs urging them to get rid of (amongst other things) the Extreme Porn legislation, just point out that there would have been more "No" votes in the House of Lords (possibly enough to defeat it) if it hadn't been for the fact, as one Tory Peer admitted to me: "We don't vote on Lib Dem amendments".

Well now it's not a Lib Dem amendment, so let's see them prove that they really care about Freedom of Expression and get rid of that damned stupid law!

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UK's secret surveillance regime 'does not breach human rights'

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

And yet...

... we had Alan Johnson, former Labour Home Secretary on TV trying to mock Nick Clegg's "Rampant hyperbole" and claiming that he was taking "a number of separate issues and puts them together and suggests we're in a surveillance society."

Perhaps Mr Johnson would like to reconsider those words...?

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Carmakers and blind boosters boost noisy leccy plan

Graham Marsden
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But...

... how do you hear the noise of the V8 over the massive bass bins in your chavved-up hatchback...?

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Graham Marsden
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just making them fit lights in the dark would be a start!

And the next time you're out on the road at night, count the number of vehicles driving illegally because they have only one working headlight or a brake light out...

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Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@The First Dave

It goes both ways. I cycle a lot and forget bells, a bellowed "LOOK OUT" as an idiotic pedestrian steps off the pavement into my path without looking is a much more effective way of reminding them that *THEY* are required to use observation (and their brains) too.

PS I've never hit a pedestrian because I'm always watching out for them, even though they aren't looking out for me (SMIDSY...)

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Sergey Brin: 'We screwed up' on Street View Wi-Fi grab

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

No shit...

... sherlock!!

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Mechanic drove three miles with angry bloke on bonnet

Graham Marsden
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And now we have Theresa May...

... telling the Police that they will have more opportunities to decide who gets charged for "minor crimes" instead of needing to check with prosecutors to see if there's actually a case to answer, let alone a chance of conviction.

I can't see this one going wrong at all...

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Graham Marsden
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Let's hear it for common sense!

Someone's running in fear of their life, so what do the Police do? Arrest him on a bunch of silly charges and let the guy threatening him go because it's going to be easier to charge the victim with crimes than make a case against the attacker...

Unbelievable.

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DARPA witchfinder-ware to SMITE America's IT traitors

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

The first stage in solving a problem...

... is being able to accurately define what the problem IS!

Back to the drawing board, guys.

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Best Buy tech finds 'child abuse' wallpaper on broken PC

Graham Marsden
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Would someone be stupid enough...?

Ask Gary Glitter/ Paul Gadd. (Ok, it wasn't wallpaper, but it was still really stuipd to hand over a computer with a hard drive containing kiddy porn)

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World's mightiest supercomputer to design new nuke plants

Graham Marsden
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A mere abacus...

... mention it not.

- Signed Deep Thought

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Grow-lamps roast Yorkshire dope farmer in his sleep

Graham Marsden
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@Oh dear

Try reading that post again with your irony detector switched on...

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Microsoft: 'Using IE6 is like drinking 9-year-old milk'

Graham Marsden
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Microsoft... rancid... spoiled...

... Fish... Barrel... BANG!

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National Archives preserves Labour government websites

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

"a large amount of content has been deleted"

And we have *never* been at war with Eastasia!

Not so much Big Brother this time, but lots of Little Brothers trying to make themselves look good to the incoming administration by saying "What, support that repressive totalitarian legislation? Not us!"

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Boffins warn on car computer security risk

Graham Marsden
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Pirate

"completely circumvent a broad array of safety-critical systems"

Didn't the BOFH do this a couple of weeks ago?

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Drifting zombiesat could disrupt TV programming

Graham Marsden
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Alert

100 channels, including Showtime, MTV, and the Food Network.

So, critical, high quality output, then...?

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City Police still using Terror Act to bother photographers

Graham Marsden
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Latest update...

"Photographer stopped under anti-terror laws may sue police"

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standard/article-23832604-photographer-stopped-under-anti-terror-laws-may-sue-police.do

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The Cameregg plan: Who got what?

Graham Marsden
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Happy

Made a Scottish family homeless:

If they get into massive debt and can't pay it off, is it any wonder that the People (who actually own the property) decide to evict them....?

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Graham Marsden
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Civil Liberties +1

I agree, the list looks like a very good attempt to roll back many of the repressive laws that Labour brought in.

I just hope that they don't start weaselling and saying "well, we'd like to get rid of this law, but it's so useful..."

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Herschel 'scope peers into 'truly empty' space hole

Graham Marsden
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Are you sure it's not...

... the giant Space Amoeba from TOS Trek's episode "The Immunity Syndrome"?

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Swiss watch auctioned for £3.76m

Graham Marsden
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Joke

I hope the buyer...

... wasn't called Sylar...!

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UK hot-swaps leaders - Brown out, Cameron in

Graham Marsden
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But will it be real change or more of the same old same-old?

So, Cameron and Clegg have done a deal, now the question is will we get the reforms (not just voting, but political behaviour and on civil liberties to name a couple) that we actually need...?

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