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* Posts by Graham Marsden

4931 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Google pulls SCHAFT out of military honeypot, sprays gold at bot team

Graham Marsden
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Terminator

" this is a military research project...

"...and other uses may be found for the technology."

See icon for details, fleshy ones!

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It's 2014 and you can pwn a PC by opening a .RTF in Word, Outlook

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Re: Microsoft Word 2003, 2007, 2010, 2013

Well isn't it good that I'm still using Word 97...

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The plot to kill Google cloud: We'll rename Windows Azure to MICROSOFT Azure

Graham Marsden
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Stop

Attempting to give a damn...

... Sorry, unable to give a damn.

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EE...K: Why can't I uninstall carrier's sticky 'Free Games' app?

Graham Marsden
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Mushroom

Re: Real-time buying behaviour

Not forgetting the idiots yakking on their mobile phones and blocking the aisles whilst ignoring the fact that people want to get past them...

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Michelle Obama speaks out against censorship ... in China

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

@Vociferous - Re: Fuck you all.

'open access to information is “the birthright of every person on this planet”'

Especially if you are the NSA.

If you are forced to self-censor because Big Brother wants to look at everything you do, then you are still being censored and repressed, just in a different way.

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Google flu-finding service diagnosed with 'big data hubris'

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

In other words...

Garbage In, Garbage Out.

As most programers have known for decades...

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RISE of the LIVING CHAIR: Boffins recruit E coli to build futuristic materials

Graham Marsden
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"Imagine having a chair where you sit on it for a long time...

" and it remodels to support areas of stress."

Sounds like the Chairdogs from Frank Herbert's "Heretics of Dune"

"I hate it when they try to cuddle me" - Reverend Mother Odrade.

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Kim Dotcom extradition: Feds can keep evidence against Megaupload mastermind a surprise

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

@OzBob - Re: Please get rid of this f**ker for us

> can anyone think of another occurence of a german starting a political party with a specific agenda and ending holding the balance of power?

Erm, was his name Godwin...?!

> watch this fat f**ker try to buy his way out of his extradition with political favour.

You mean as opposed to US Big Media trying to buy his extradition with political influence over a foreign country's judicial system?

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ISPs failing 13m Brits on broadband speed, claims consumer group

Graham Marsden
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Re: @rhydian

This evening, having just got back from holiday, I was catching up on El Reg when Virgin Media decided to go tits up for half an hour and I kept getting messages that Firefox was unable to resolve the address.

After about 30 minutes of this I tried phoning their helpline only to get told that it might take them 5 mintues to answer my call.

Fortunately at this point it started working again, but such events are not uncommon with VM.

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Every little helps: Dirty MOLE BANDITS clean out Tesco ATM from BELOW

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

"You may have seen people acting suspiciously on Friday night, possibly covered in soil."

Well, as long as it wasn't night soil...

Icon because (oh work it out yourself!)

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NASA: Earth JUST dodged comms-killing SOLAR BLAST in 2012

Graham Marsden
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Alert

@Steve Knox - Re: Interesting Science Fiction Take on this

Better than "Inconstant Moon" by Larry Niven that I was thinking of...

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Nipper rolls up at nursery with 48 wraps of HEROIN

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

"Zero Tolerance" == "Zero Sense"

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Who DOESN'T want to play world's tallest game of Tetris – all 437ft of it

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Ok, but...

... will it have the attendant dancing figures?

(And willl pressing a button whilst they're dancing trigger a hook to drag them off? ;-) )

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Universal Music mulls 'all you can eat' buffet of song downloads

Graham Marsden
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Flame

I wonder...

... how long it will take for that "unlimited" to be redefined as "unlimited until you actually try to start downloading stuff..."?

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Twittapocalypse! Twitter implodes, locked out tweeps around the world

Graham Marsden
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Meh

"We apologize for the inconvenience."

What inconvenience?

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Communist party boss blames Kunming knife attack on VPNs

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@Psyx - Re: I no longer know...

No, it's not cricket, it's irony.

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Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

I no longer know...

... whether the British Government is copying the Chinese Government or vice versa...

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Dammit internet... you promised naked videos of my Facebook friends

Graham Marsden
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Coat

As the old line has it...

... Got any naked pictures of your girlfriend? No?

Want to buy some...?

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X marks the... They SAID there was a mystery planet there – NASA

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Looking for Planet X?

They need to ask...

DUCK DODGERS in the 24th and a half CENTURY!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqAUiUDyFlY

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Space-junk RAYGUN wins Australian government funding

Graham Marsden
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Happy

Re: About bloody time...

Sounds like Salvage 1...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salvage_1

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Hubble 'scope snaps 200,000-ton chunky crumble conundrum

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Re: INFRARED IMAGE USING HD SHOW A PACKAGE BEING DELIVERED

Being delivered by Universe Parcel Services...?

Should we expect a "Sorry you were out when we tried to deliver your item" message soon?

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Delhi police forget passwords to corruption portal, ignore 600 crimes

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

"they couldn’t access a designated online portal"

You mean someone lost the Post-It where they wrote the password down...?

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X-rated Android antics: Motorola's Moto X puts boot in chunky brother

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

" at £300 SIM-free, the Moto X is still £170 cheaper"

And at £130, the Moto-G is £170 cheaper than the X, especially if you get an Ovivo Sim for £20 and get 300 minutes, 300 texts and 500MB *every month* for nada!

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Triple-headed NHS privacy scare after hospital data reach marketers, Google

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Hanlon's razor...

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."

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Labour calls for BIG OVERHAUL of UK super-snoop powers in 'new digital world'

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

"paedophiles, extremists and terrorists... oh my!"

These are the people who gave us the Dangerous Pictures Act. Who wanted the National DNA Database. Who wanted us all to have ID cards. Who introduced the RIP Act which was supposed to protect us against terrorists, not to spy on people who might be sending their kids to the wrong school, etc etc etc.

And NOW they expect us to TRUST THEM?

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Child sex abuse image peddlers dodge UK smut filters and demand Bitcoin payments

Graham Marsden
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@Grease Monkey - Re: Innocent?

I think it is you who does not understand:

> If you did not put the images on your server and were not aware that they were there could the prosecution prove that you "possessed" the images?

Quoting from the Criminal Justice Act 1988:

* * * * *

160 Possession of indecent photograph of child

(1) Subject to section 160A it is an offence for a person to have any indecent photograph or pseudo-photograph of a child in his possession.

(2) Where a person is charged with an offence under subsection (1) above, it shall be a defence for him to prove—

(a)that he had a legitimate reason for having the photograph or pseudo-photograph in his possession; or

(b) that he had not himself seen the photograph or pseudo-photograph and did not know, nor had any cause to suspect, it to be indecent

http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1988/33/part/XI/crossheading/possession-of-indecent-photograph-of-child

* * * * *

Note where it says "It is a defence for him to prove" ie a person is *assumed* to be guilty *unless* they can prove that they didn't know the images were there and they hadn't seen them!

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UK.gov back-office battle may see British Justice offshored

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

For sale - Great Britain PLC

Bids and offers of Directorships to the Tory Party HQ...

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UK spies on MILLIONS of Yahoo! webcams, ogles sex vids - report

Graham Marsden
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@Oninoshiko Re: Translation:

> thought child pornography was always a crime to posses, no matter how you received it

Sexual Offences Act 2003:

* * * * *

46 Criminal proceedings, investigations etc.

(1)After section 1A of the Protection of Children Act 1978 (c. 37) insert—

“1BException for criminal proceedings, investigations etc.

(1)In proceedings for an offence under section 1(1)(a) of making an indecent photograph or pseudo-photograph of a child, the defendant is not guilty of the offence if he proves that—

(a)it was necessary for him to make the photograph or pseudo-photograph for the purposes of the prevention, detection or investigation of crime, or for the purposes of criminal proceedings, in any part of the world,

(b)at the time of the offence charged he was a member of the Security Service, and it was necessary for him to make the photograph or pseudo-photograph for the exercise of any of the functions of the Service, or

(c)at the time of the offence charged he was a member of GCHQ, and it was necessary for him to make the photograph or pseudo-photograph for the exercise of any of the functions of GCHQ.

* * * * *

Of course the "necessity" here is the prevention of terrerism...

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New FBI boss says cyber crime, not terrorism, is top of Feds' todo list

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

But... but...

... Cyber Crime *IS* Terrerism!!!

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Hungarian eggheads unleash not-at-all-scary DRONE SWARM

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Up

Who cares about the clever technology...?

... Kudos for the Monty Python references guys!!!

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NHS England tells MPs: 'The state isn't doing dastardly things with GP medical records'

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

"If 90 per cent opt out [of care.data], we won't have an NHS."

Then how the *FUCK* did we manage to have one for the last half-century??

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Wot a COCKUP: Poorly NHS websites spawn SPAMMY VIAGRA ads

Graham Marsden
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Pirate

You mean...

... this isn't just something else the Tories have flogged off to their mates...?

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Google kills copycat TfL congestion charge payment ads

Graham Marsden
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I agree, but be careful...

... Yes, there are scam sites out there who will try to rip people off by charging a fee for simply forwarding on data, but the flip side is, for instance, the business that a friend of mine runs.

She sorts out US Visa applications which is something you can do yourself, but she does it for well known celebrities, pop bands and so on and it's quicker and simpler for them to pay her to do the work rather than spend time trying to sort out a dozen or twenty Visas by themselves. This also means that, sometimes, she has to travel to London to get to the US Embassy when it opens in the morning to sort out a problem for someone whose plane is leaving later that day.

So, yes, we need to do something about the scammers, but not at the cost of catching legitimate businesses in an overly big net.

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Moon flashes Earth after getting pounding from MASSIVE meteorite

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Up

Looks like a fish...

... moves like a fish...

... steers like a cow!

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NHS England DIDN'T tell households about GP medical data grab plan

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Perhaps it should be renamed...

... dont.care.data...?

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Climate change will 'CAUSE huge increase in MURDER, ROBBERY and RAPE'

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Down

Or is Lewis getting more desperate to prove his view of the argument...?

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Just like Elvis, dead Steve Jobs to appear all over America in 2015

Graham Marsden
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Gimp

Unlike Presley, Jobs has not been sighted in obscure truck stops around the nation.

But will you be able to go to Las Vegas and get a Steve Jobs lookalike to perform your wedding ceremony...?

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French youth faces court for illegal drone flight

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Nancy from the air...

... and there was me thinking he was spying on his neighbour who was sunbathing...

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Robot army to police football World Cup

Graham Marsden
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Terminator

Come and have a go...

... if you think you're hard enough. You have ten seconds to comply...

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How many mobile apps collect data on users? Oh ... nearly all of them

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

A Killer App Opportunity...

So now what we need is for someone to write an App that will act as an over-arching sandbox for all the others to run in such that *WE* get to decide what (if any) data leaves it!

I'd certainly be willing to pay for that.

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SkyDrive is dead! All hail Microsoft OneDrive! Happy now, Uncle Rupe?

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Down

"100GB of free storage...

"...although the extra gigabytes are only good for twelve months, after which customers must either start paying for them or lose them."

Well isn't *that* generous of them! Start to use those "free" 100GB and then you have to decide whether to fork out money or lose/ delete whatever you were storing in them.

And the pushers always offer a "free" sample too...

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Big Beardie's watching: Gaze into the screen... it shall gaze also into you

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

"It doesn’t recognise people...

"...so it can’t say “Hello Chief Anderton”, nor does it remember people with a view to selling you whatever you bought last time"

... YET.

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Korean credit card companies hit with 90-day, $100m sales ban

Graham Marsden
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Alert

Re: overdone?

Pour encourager les autres...

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Ill communication delays NHS England's GP data grab for six months

Graham Marsden
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Re: Good

Lol! That's a good one, tell us another...!

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Birds Eye releases 'mashtags' social spud snacks

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Oh great...

... so now not only will we get pictures of people's dinner on Failbook, they'll be hashtagging their mashtags too!

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Top Brit docs wade into GP data grab row, demand 'urgent' NHS England talks

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

See this website for details of what's happening and how to opt out...

http://www.care-data.info/

I've also written to my MP asking him and his colleagues to get this whole nonsense put on hold until we get a proper say in what happens to our private data!

http://www.theyworkforyou.com

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SPACE VID: Watch JUMBO ASTEROID 2000 EM26 buzzing Earth

Graham Marsden
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Happy

Slooh?

I thought for a moment that said "Slood" and was a nod to Terry Pratchett ;-)

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Brit boffins brew up blight-resistant FRANKENSPUD

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@jake - Re: Can anybody point me at ANYTHING that is not GMO?

Gene splicing from unrelated species != Cross breeding different varieties of the same species.

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Vertical take-off and laughing: Space Harrier

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Up

Re: Southsea Arcade

Damn, you and I must have been wasting (erm, spending) money on the game around the same time because I was one of those people standing around in Clarence Pier waiting for my turn!

I was never as good, though, as my friend Raf (tall, dark curly hair) who would casually sit there, can of Quattro in one hand, joystick in the other, blasting his way through the entire game :-/

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Graham Marsden
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Happy

"It’s hard to comprehend...

"...why so much love is still felt for this half-baked (by today’s standards) shooter."

Because it was *FUN*!!!

A game that ran at an almost insane speed, which required lots of concentration, a chair you sat in that *moved*, great (for their time) graphics, what is there not to love?!

“Welcome to the Fantasy Zone, get ready!”

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