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* Posts by Graham Marsden

5137 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

UK's oldest working telly up for sale

Graham Marsden
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Yeah, but...

... can it get Digital...?

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Small business denounces extra red tape

Graham Marsden
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Headmaster

"Queue" - a line of people...

... "Cue": In this context a signal that something is due to or going to start now.

Thank you.

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US Army inks $66m deal for Judge Dredd smart-rifles

Graham Marsden
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@strictly speaking.

In the Dredd Comic Strip when Dredd was Marshall of Luna City it was actually the Sov Block who first had "range dependent" energy weapons that could even shoot through walls and explode inside the target's body.

Dredd and a colleague managed to figure out how to defeat these weapons by running full speed at the Sovs because the weapons were unable to adjust to the changing range fast enough meaning the energy wave would go through the target and explode harmlessly behind them.

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Fight global warming with Asimov-style Psychohistory - profs

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Hang on...

... is this an April Fool or not...???

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Labour MP says police should clamp down on online incitement

Graham Marsden
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Re:Who would have thunk it

"The Home Secretary, Theresa May, who has hitherto shown herself refreshingly reluctant to take on new police powers where existing ones would do,"

Who would have thunk this either!

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The X-Factor goes virtually mobile, expands voting

Graham Marsden
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I think you mean...

Please God, let this be an April Fool...!!

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TV election debate 'worm' graph found to undermine democracy

Graham Marsden
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"it isn't feasible to get a sufficiently large sample."

Why not?

The BARB TV audience figures are (according to their site) based on 5,100 households scattered across the country to represent all regions, why can't they (or a similar selection) be used to ensure that any possible bias from the "I'll vote for Party X come hell or high water" people is negated?

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Graham Marsden
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Stop

TV debates...

... are simply about the Candidate looking good in front of an audience and being able to deliver pre-scripted soundbites whilst ignoring and dismissing the points that their opponents make.

In other words it's PMQs writ large and we all know how much nonsense that political Punch and Judy show is.

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Graham Marsden
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Boffin

So...

... what they've just proved is that you need a decent sample size to get a credible result.

In other news... bears... Popes... you know the rest.

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Digital player maker 'incited consumers to break the law', says ASA

Graham Marsden
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@What exactly are the ASA's powers anyway?

They can firmly wag their finger at you and say "Naughty! Don't do it again...(pretty please, otherwise we will look foolish and people will realise we're totally impotent)"

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Graham Marsden
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@content i PAID FOR

Ah, but remember, just like certain software products, you don't actually *buy* the product or content, just a licence to use it in certain ways that the licence granter can dictate!

It's like buying a book with permission from the licensor to read it at home, but if you want to read it on the train or in the local park, you've got to buy a *different* copy with a licence to use it there!!!

What a wonderful (money making) idea...

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UK nuke lab, Korean Air Force buy SGI supers

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@Odd

If you're running an army, navy or airforce, knowing what the weather is likely to be (pouring rain, high winds, fog etc) tends to be rather useful...

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Google 'clamps down' on world of Android partners

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

"According to the report...

"...Google has also tried to prevent partners from bundling rival services such as Microsoft's Bing search."

Err, guys, remember how people got the option to install Chrome on their PCs instead of having IE as the default...???

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Deleting 'innocent' DNA will cost £5m

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Umm...

... so how about taking the initial Batch Files, replacing the data of everyone who shouldn't be in it with a null record and then uploading them onto a new system before purging the old system entirely?

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Microsoft's Google complaint not an April Fool

Graham Marsden
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Headmaster

Pick a word...

... should I describe this as Irony or Hypocrisy?

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Vanilla Ice to tackle panto Captain Hook

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Oh no he isn't...!

Hmm, let me repunctuate that...

Oh no! He isn't...?

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ECJ asked to rule on crucial internet publishing jurisdiction issue

Graham Marsden
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@Global Law?

Which part of "global" didn't you understand? It's not *one* country's version of what it should be, we need a global agreement which everyone can sign up to.

Of course we also need to ensure that the MPAA et al don't get to dictate to everyone what the law should be...

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Microsoft: IE9 not yet 'broadly' available

Graham Marsden
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Gates Horns

"Microsoft now claims,,,

"...the numbers are unimportant and that it's the "long game" that counts."

In other words, as they always do, they're shifting the goalposts and trying to redefine the rules...

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FBI asks for help to crack mystery code in 12-year-old murder case

Graham Marsden
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"Perhaps...

"... he was dictating..."

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Google unleashes (another) Facebook knock-off

Graham Marsden
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So...

... when are they going to patent the idea...?

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Vote compass unmasks Canadian political opinion

Graham Marsden
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It might make a change from...

... I'm voting for Party X because my parents always voted for them!

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The Professionals set to abseil into cinema

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Hmm...

... Judge John Deed as Cowley?!

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Nokia talks Pure typographic cobblers

Graham Marsden
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"Gill Sans will do me."

But whales are mammals and don't have gills...

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MPs now free to surf and tweet

Graham Marsden
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'debates could look increasingly "unattractive"...

"... to members of the public, while some members might not listen quite as attentively as they should to complex points made in debate."

So, no real change there, then.

About the only difference will be that, instead of Junior MPs being sent out of the Chamber by their superiors to go and look up an embarrassing quote from an Opposing Minister, they can now just look it up on Hansard.

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The Bayeux Tapestry archiving model

Graham Marsden
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Data Loss / Data Recovery

As mentioned most recently in a documentary hosted by Tony Robinson, on close inspection there appears to be a line of stitch holes indicating that there was once thread depicting an arrow in the eye of the figure on the ground who is being hit in the leg by the mounted Knight but the thread had somehow been lost.

If so, it's rather akin to recovering lost data using more sensitive tools than a standard read-head :-)

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Apple bashes 'gay cure' app

Graham Marsden
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@Barry O'Connell

"Some of the comments on this article suggest that all religious belief and/or behaviour should be criminalised; that’s where your argument leads – they are loonies they should be banned for the public good/health/sanity etc… I think that’s a slippery slope."

I'm sorry, but I disagree (and what others may be calling for is nothing to do with me and I don't necessarily agree with them either).

In any case, the "slippery slope" is actually the one that follows from your advocating that "We either have freedom of expression or we don’t. As soon as we start to qualify it, we have lost it. Who is to decide what is reasonable anyway?"

I am not advocating "silence the heretic" however I am pointing out that if your freedom to act is restricted by the expression "my freedom to swing my fists about ends at the tip of your nose" it is only because you have the Right to behave in whatever way you choose *provided* that it does not infringe on other's Right not to (for example) be punched in the face.

The Exodus group's App is not merely expressing a view, it is advocating a dangerous course of action ie that if you are gay you can be "cured" by their methods.

We have restrictions on "miracle cure" claims from advertisers for their products which is, by your argument, unacceptable, because it restricts their freedom of expression whereas I am simply arguing that unless such claims can be scientifically proven to be demonstrably correct, they should not be allowed to make them due to the harm that could follow.

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Graham Marsden
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@Barry O'Connell

"We either have freedom of expression or we don’t. As soon as we start to qualify it, we have lost it. Who is to decide what is reasonable anyway?"

And the obvious answer to that is "Is it reasonable to yell 'FIRE!' in a crowded theatre"?

The Right of Freedom of Expression (which is one that I most certainly support and encourage) has to be balanced with the *Responsibility* to use that Right in a sensible and non-injurious way.

You can find many posts from me on these forums and elsewhere about the right of consenting adults to produce and view so-called Extreme Pornography, but you won't find any posts from me anywhere about the right of someone to produce child pornography (and just to forestall a possible response: drawings which are entirely fictitious are of course an entirely different matter)

So that is "qualifying" the Right of Freedom of Expression, but unless you would argue for the right to take photos of children in sexual situations (and I am sure you wouldn't), you must, ipso facto, agree that there *is* a line beyond which that Right has to be restricted.

As for your analogy that the idea of objecting to those who claim they can "cure homosexuality" is akin to the Church's objection to the Copernican System of Planetary Motion, I am sorry, but that is complete nonsense.

The former is not an "illness" and to claim this (by saying that it can be "cured") is to ignore not only a huge body of scientific fact, but also to do the same as in, in the latter case, where the Church chose to ignore or suppress or persecute the views (and scientific proofs) of anyone who looked objectively at the evidence.

Science has moved on from the attitude of "we don't like this, therefore it's wrong", it's just that some who hold to "faith" in defiance of facts are not able to do so.

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Graham Marsden
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@Barry O'Connell

It is not simply a matter of the misquoted content. This group are free to hold their view that "heterosexuality as God’s creative intent for humanity, and homosexual expression as outside of God’s will", but when they start talking about "curing" it, especially when that "cure" involves techniques which are akin to brainwashing and which have been linked with depression and suicides they have gone beyond reasonable Freedom of Expression.

As such Apple removing this App is not "censorship", it is them ensuring that the content that they allow is truthful and doesn't risk causing harm to others.

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Online world maps rub jubs against todgers

Graham Marsden
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@Where does Lady Gaga fall

And is that face up or face down?!

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Duke Nukem Forever DELAYED

Graham Marsden
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Let me repunctuate that for you...

... Duke Nukem: forever delayed.

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South West Trains puts squeeze on commuters

Graham Marsden
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These people from 2007 agree too...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hampshire/6288115.stm

Yes, that's a news report from *four years* ago with people complaining about the 450s which were originally (supposedly) designed for suburban journeys and only intended to be used on "short run" local routes, not inter-city commuter routes.

Of course what SWT has found is that it can claim to be "making more seats available", ignoring the minor fact that it's almost impossible to *use* those seats!

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Duke Nuke goes misogynistic for multiplayer

Graham Marsden
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Coffee/keyboard

@The BigYin

'"Daisy Duke" Nukem'

You, Sir, owe me a new keyboard!!!

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China rejects Google snoop claims

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

"Google...

"...instead blamed the Chinese government for snooping."

So what Google are saying is that it is ok for *them* to snoop your emails to send you "targetted advertising", but object if anyone else does it?

Why does the word "hypocrites" come to mind???

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Microsoft sues trio over Androidian book reader

Graham Marsden
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Exactly...!

"The patents cover ways of tabbing through various screens to find information, quickly surfing the web, and interacting with documents and e-books.'

So all things that are blatantly obvious to anyone who has used tabbed browers, surfed the web or made notes.

Aren't patents supposed to be *original* inventions which *aren't* obvious to anyone with experience in that field? Oh, of course, not in the USA...

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Apple 'gay-cure' app severely slapped

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@Demosthenese

You miss the point, it is not simply that this App is "offensive" and it is not that those who object to this App are simply trying to "suppress the views of others", they are objecting to the fact that it spreads malicious falsehoods about gay people with the implication that being homosexual is an "illness" that can be "cured" by techniques that are dangerously close to brainwashing.

This App goes way beyond expressing a viewpoint and into highly dangerous and irresponsible lies which may well have resulted in the suicides of some of its victims.

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Graham Marsden
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Would the American Moral Minority...

... consider an App saying that we can "cure" extremist Christians of their bigotry to be acceptable?

I doubt it!

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Duke Nuke teases with sapphic siblings

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Does this sound more like...

... desperate publicity seeking...?

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Pr0n domain approved by ICANN

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

"For the first time...

"there will be a clearly defined web address for adult entertainment"

Sure, and *everyone* is immediately going to migrate their porn content over to it...

"out of the reach of minors"

And if you believe that, I can do you a very good deal on Tower Bridge.

"and as free as possible from fraud or malicious computer viruses"

Howls of derisive laughter, Bruce!

"We believe consumers will be more prepared to make purchases on .XXX sites, safe in the knowledge their payments will be secure"

And, of course, you'll compensate them when the Russians/ Nigerians/ Anyone Else gets their hands on these domains and start pumping out viagra.xxx or 419.xxx or...?

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Woman fingers ex in 15-foot strip pole theft mystery

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@Are you new here?

No, are you? If you were, you might not be aware that I'm the guy with the business making "interesting" leather goods.

You might also not make the connection that I know professional pole dancers who would be seriously upset if the top-of-the-line "tool of their trade" (go on, have a good snigger because I said "tool") had been nicked and probably flogged off for a few quid by their boyfriend.

Tell you what, if your laptop gets nicked by your ex, get El Reg to put a story on here and we'll all have a good laugh about it because, well, it's Friday, isn't it.

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Graham Marsden
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Dead Vulture

I thought I was reading El Reg....

... not the Tabloid Press...

If it had been a $400 laptop with her work on it, would you have made a big story about it?

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Download data versus piracy claims: the figures don’t add up

Graham Marsden
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"it either equals or slightly exceeds...

"... the number of household fixed broadband connections"

Well obviously some of them are downloading films, music, games etc *TWICE*!!!

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Child abuse cop slams ICANN

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Whois,,, the patsy?

"Hello Mr <gullible person in need of some quick cash>

"We are willing to pay you £500 to register these domains at your address, all you need to do is fill in the forms and confirm the details when the request comes through, sorted."

Cue several thousand domains registered at one address and one poor sap who has nothing to do with kiddie porn getting hauled up in court...

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Police just rubber-stamping US data slurp

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Europe - Does this comply with data protection?

US - Yes.

Europe - Why?

US - Because we say so.

Europe - Ok, that's good enough for us!

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Gov and ISPs clash over informal policing of net

Graham Marsden
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"there is a world of difference...

"...between blocking material that is generally agreed to be abhorrent and unlawful across the world, and blocking or policing where different regulatory regimes are in play."

Hear hear!

Unfortunately there are too many people (a lot of them were in the last government) who think that *their* definitions of what is "abhorrent" are the only ones that matter and that they should thereby be able to dictate what everyone else is allowed to see.

Regrettably, however, it seems that (especially on the Tory side of the coalition) the same mentality exists...

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Internet Watch Foundation: Abuse images takedown speeds up

Graham Marsden
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Stop

"the economics of child abuse...

"...make it less of a focus for organised crime than popular belief would have it."

What? You mean that those International Networks of Organised Paedos which we've heard so much about from Jim Gamble et al turn out to be figments of an over-excited imagination?

Never...!!!

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Message from South Oz: YouTube not for assaults

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

"banning the filming of assaults"

Of course I have little doubt that this will apply to any sort of CCTV setup, especially when operated by the Police...

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Bogus BBC Fukushima radiation texts panic the Philippines

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

What a larf...

... getting people to panic like that, total lulz!!!

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Data-mining technique outs authors of anonymous email

Graham Marsden
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"this should *never* be accepted as evidence in court!"

Hear hear!

An "about 80%" success rate does not equate to "beyond reasonable doubt"!

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Balanced, neutral journalism is RUBBISH and that's a FACT

Graham Marsden
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Dead Vulture

"as though by lazy hacks...

" who had simply looked up stuff on the internet – for instance actually reading the text of the proposed bill, "

ITWM "as though by lazy news services who simply cut and paste articles from other services without actually bothering to check if any of it bears any resemblance to the truth...

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Lords vote for electronic devices in their chambers

Graham Marsden
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From Not the Nine o'Clock News...

Counsel: This receipt is for the digital watch...

Judge: ...a digital watch? What on earth is a "digital watch"?

Counsel: Sorry m'lud. A digital watch is a watch worked by microelectronics.

Judge: Oh! How fascinating. Proceed.

Counsel: The next receipt is for an automatic video recorder...

Judge: ..."automatic video recorder"?

Counsel: Yes, I'm sorry m'lud. It's a machine that records television programmes on special tape.

Judge: Oh, how fascinating. What will they think of next? Proceed.

Counsel: Thank you m'lud. And finally, a receipt for a "deluxe model inflatable woman", whatever that is.

Judge: The Deluxe is the one with the real hair...

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