* Posts by Graham Marsden

5837 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

NEVER MIND the B*LLOCKS Osbo peddles, deficits don't really matter

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@Doctor Syntax - Re: @Richard 12 - It seems to me...

Yes, because it's right that a party that gets 36% of the votes gets over 50% of the seats, so it must be equally right that parties which get 12% or 4% of the votes should both get 0.15% of the seats...

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Graham Marsden
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@Richard 12 - Re: It seems to me...

First suggestion: Fix our broken electoral system that allows a party with a third of the votes to get half the seats and claim that this "majority" gives them a right to do whatever they like!

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Graham Marsden
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It seems to me...

... that George's aim is not simply to give us a "small state", but to utterly cripple the ability of any future government to undo what he has done because he will have sold (sorry, privatised) so much of our social, welfare and justice system that it would be almost impossible to get it back without bankrupting the country.

Of course the fact that the people who benefit most from this will be his rich mates (and his fellow Tory Party members who will be in line for tidy and lucrative Directorships) and at the expense of all the "little people" who will end up paying through the nose is neither here nor there...

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Chap mines Bitcoin with PUNCH CARDS and ancient mainframe

Graham Marsden
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Pint

That's nothing...

... there are people out there who have figured out that it would be possible to mine Bitcoins using abacuses!

(Ok, it would take the lifetime of a few universes, but that's a minor issue...)

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Wheely, wheely mad: Petrolheads fume over buggy Formula One app

Graham Marsden
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Unhappy

Come back A1 GP...

It was a great shame the A1 GP series never worked out because it was so much better than F1.

With only one team per country and the cars being built to a single design which you only had limited rights to modify meant that it really came down to a test of driver skill, not simply who could spend the most money on development.

Couple that with the two races per meeting, a short sprint and then a longer event with a certain number of "push to pass" activations per race meant genuinely exciting racing, rather than, as happens with F1, I put the highlights on and work on my computer next to my TV until the commentators get excited, then I look up to see if anything interesting has happened...

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Graham Marsden
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Wow...

... I didn't know they were equipping F1 cars with airbags now...

... or passenger seats, or in-car entertainment systems, or standard seatbelts, or aircon or...

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ZX Spectrum 'Hobbit' revival sparks developer dispute

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Re: Mondegreen

Well we've had Elvis versus The Mummy in Bubba Ho-tep...

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Graham Marsden
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Coat

Thorin...

... sits down and starts singing about gold.

"Gold, gold, gold, gold..."

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GDS to handle Govt payments? What could possibly go wrong?

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Up

Re: “Government as a platform”

Mind the GaaP...

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Is your career lacking growth? Become a porn inspector! Hint: It sucks

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

TO: Successful Applicants -

Count yourself lucky you're not living in ancient China when, to attain high rank in their Civil Service, you had to be a eunuch!

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Snowden latest: NSA planned sneak attacks on Android app stores

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

"may make sense from a very narrow national security mindset...

"...but it's at the expense of the privacy and security of hundreds of millions of users worldwide."

"Ah, but to protect their security, we had to compromise it! Anyway, it's only the bad guys who will object. You aren't objecting, are you...?"

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NASA plots interplanetary cubesat swarms

Graham Marsden
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@cray74 - Re: Cube swarms in space...

Apparently Shatner wrote a story that described how V'Ger met the Borg.

That's why we had "We are V'Ger of Borg" and why the Borg had those incredibly powerful plasma globes and massive ships that...

... err... well...

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Mobiles at school could be MAKING YOUR KID MORE DUMBER

Graham Marsden
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Re: They actually allow phones to be switched on during class?

Allegedly they use versions of those "mosquito" devices as the notification tone because they can hear pitches that high whereas most adults can't.

Although I've also seen it said that kids can be spotted using their phones because most people don't tend to look down at their crotches and smile...

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Manchester car park lock hack leads to horn-blare hoo-ha

Graham Marsden
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Re: This was in Manchester?

Can't be Manchester, it still has all its wheels...

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

This was in Manchester?

Manchester England, yes?

And were any cars were on fire? No?

So, El Reg, what the FUCK does a picture of American Firefighters attacking a burning American car with axes have to do with this story?

Please stop with this "Hero Image" bullshit, it's getting really stupid now.

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US Air Force launches not-so-secret space plane. Thanks Russia

Graham Marsden
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"it will be testing out a new ion drive for military satellites"

Satellites? Oh, yeah, sure, satellites...

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Virtual reality pr0n on the Rift? 'Why not?' says Oculus founder

Graham Marsden
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Meh

Re: The Red Dress

Now if El Reg *really* wanted to do something clever with their silly Hero Images, they could have it switch from the Woman in the Red Dress to Agent Smith if you moused over it...

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Twitter CRAWLS to Google ON ITS KNEES, starts blowing content

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Re: Adding '-twitter.com' to search query string will work, right?

> if I really wanted to know twaddlers' opinions about $topic, I'd just hit myself over the head until I stopped thinking that way!

FTFY :-)

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Uncle Sam spanks PayPal for credit scheme cockup

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

So...

... PayPay *is* acting like a bank, then...!

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YouTube Kids 'showed nippers how to make nooses, play with fire'

Graham Marsden
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Unhappy

Re: What's noose?

And I had to learn how to tie one when I was at school aged about 11.

Damn, kids these days just don't know they've been born...

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AI pioneer reckons China's where the Rise of the Machines will start

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Re: I , for one...

Can I have Prawn Crackers with that, please...

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We caught Chinese technology spies RED-HANDED, claims US government

Graham Marsden
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Coat

High Horse?

Apropos of another article on El Reg, is that found at http://www.high.horse ?

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Are we looking at the first domain name meme? Neigh

Graham Marsden
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What they need...

... is a domain .horseyourodeinon

Then you could direct people to http://www.fuckyouandthe.horseyourodeinon

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Russia will fork Sailfish OS to shut out pesky Western spooks

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Reminds me of...

... an old joke about Russians using dial up.

"We have a three line modem, one for me, one for you and one for the KGB."

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Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

@AC - Regime change of dictators is ALWAYS good.

Sure, because it never leads to civil war, ethnic battles, religious wars, the rise of local "warlords" and huge numbers of innocent people being slaughtered or forced out of their homes because those who undertake said "Regime Change" have no idea of the underlying tensions or don't give a damn about them because they're more interested in trying to force their own ideology on the people (or just grab the mineral rights) and have no strategy other than "well, it's got to be better than what's before"...

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Redmond promises even MORE cloudy crypto

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

The only way...

... I'd upload any data to Cloud Storage is if it was *already* encrypted!

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Robots.txt tells hackers the places you don't want them to look

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

See icon...

for details...!

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Welsh police force fined £160,000 after losing sensitive video interview

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

Re: It's not the first time

> South Wales Police "lost" crucial evidence which led to the collapse of a trial of eight former South Wales Police officers

Here, let me put the quotes in the right place...

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ATTACK of the DINKY DRONES! US military creates ROBOTIC CARRIER PIGEON

Graham Marsden
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Happy

Can I just say...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sj6-LG5VpGk

Hmm, Vulture Squadron...

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Lightbulbs of the future will come with wireless extenders and speakers

Graham Marsden
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Re: And unless the security is up to scratch...

> I don't get the problem with going and opening the door personally....

What? And make people miss fifteen seconds of Brittains got the X Factor Coming Strictly Through a Hole in the Wall on Ice?

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Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

And unless the security is up to scratch...

"A smart thermostat knows when you are out". "Smartlocks mean you can let people into your house without having to physically open the door"

And they will also let n'er do wells know when you're out and mean that they can let themselves into your house without the keys...

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Law changed to allow GCHQ hacking ... just as GCHQ hauled into court for hacking

Graham Marsden
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Re: Well, what a surprise!

> Then why make it party specific in the first place?

Because they were the ones I was thinking of at the time, for instance with IDS getting the law retroactively changed to stop people sueing the Government for illegallly forcing them to work for free at Poundland etc.

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Graham Marsden
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Re: Well, what a surprise!

I should point out that I have no love for Labour and I'm entirely sure they would have come up with their own way of weaselling out of this...

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Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Well, what a surprise!

The Tories have a track record of changing the law when they look to be on the losing side of an argument.

Now our broken electoral system has given them another five years, expect to see plenty more of this.

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Penn State University network sacked by China malware blitz

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Re: it's much harder for them to bribe politicians to look away from the problems.

> It kind'a made sense until I came across this sentence. At that point I stopped thinking

FTFY

"Hello, Mr Politician, we would like to make a large contribution to your election fund. By the way, there's this piece of legislation we would find very helpful to our business if it were enacted..."

America, the country that gave us the saying: "An honest politician is one that stays bought"!

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Microsoft: Free Windows 10 for THIEVES and PIRATES? They can GET STUFFED

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

"Non-Genuine Windows...

"...has a high risk of malware, fraud, public exposure of your personal information, and a higher risk for poor performance or feature malfunctions," Myserson said.

"The normal risks of malware, fraud, public exposure of your personal information, poor performance and feature malfunctions should be enough of anyone" he (should have) added!

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Facebook is VIOLATING your SEXUAL privacy, warn Belgian data cops

Graham Marsden
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Meh

And Facebook replied...

... Meh! Who gives a Zuck?

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You're going to have stop calling people 'cold fish': THIS one is HOT-BLOODED

Graham Marsden
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Coat

And I thought...

... that sub-headline was a typo for Oprah...

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Polygraph.com owner pleads guilty to helping others beat lie detector

Graham Marsden
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Alert

Re: Bloody replicants getting everywhere

I am *so* not going to ask about your mother...!

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Look out, law abiding folk: UK’s Counter-Extremism Bill slithers into view

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Organisations who seek to undermine democracy

TRY LOOKING IN THE FUCKING MIRROR, DAVID!

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You have the right to be forgotten 41.3 per cent of the time says Google

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Re: This is not right...

> think how much cash I'll cost me sueing you 50 times instead of once! Bankruptcy here I come...

FTFY

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Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Re: This is not right...

> If they refuse then sue them.

Brilliant idea! I'll post libellous content about Pen-y-gors on fifty different websites hosted in various countries around the world saying that he's a peedo-druggie-terrerist and then we can see how many will correct the data.

After that, Pen-y-gors can try suing the ones that don't.

Meanwhile anyone who searches for Pen-y-gors name (such as a potential new employer, girlfriend etc) will find that content and can draw their own conclusions...

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Drone penetrates Virgin's shapely space arse

Graham Marsden
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Gimp

Re: Slightly worrying

You are obviously looking at it wrong!

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Self-STOPPING cars are A Good Thing, say motor safety bods

Graham Marsden
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Alert

How about...

... just having a recorded voice that shouts "STOP FUCKING TAILGATING!"

Too many drivers seem to have no clue about how far back they should be from the vehicle in front to be able to stop safely if it suddenly brakes and, even worse, think that there's no difference between the stopping distance when it's clear and dry and when it's pissing down with rain on a slippery road surface.

This is the sort of idiocy that causes mass pile-ups.

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Election? Pah. Here's the REAL question: Who’s the SEXIEST MP?

Graham Marsden
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Devil

"To better the world"

Translation: Do what I say, how I say, like everything I like and ban everything I don't. That will make the world better!

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Mozilla flings teddy out of pram over France's 'Patriot Act'

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Re: Je suis....

... hypocrite!

- French Government.

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BARMY bio-boffins are growing DINOSAUR SNOUTS on CHICKENS

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Re: Geese Speculating....

Followed by "Hold my beer and watch this...!"

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$19 billion made from dumped e-waste every year, says UN

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Tim...

... is that you?

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UK safety app keeping lorries on the right side of cyclists

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Down

And here we go with anti-cyclist bingo...

Cross off the following in the comments to win a prize!

* It's the cyclists own fault.

* Cyclists should pay tax and have licences

* They all jump red lights

* They should get out of the way of traffic

* They all wear black and don't have lights

* They all wear lycra and ride like idiots

* They should pay to use the road like cars and vans and lorries do

* Why should we waste money on them which is better spent elsewhere

* Add your own here for a bonus...

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Door keys are an option. It's just a matter of time

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Shouldn't that be in the "Send Corrections" link above?

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