* Posts by Graham Marsden

5193 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Southampton hampton vice shocker: Exclusive snap

Graham Marsden
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And...

... what are the Village People doing there? (Apart from seemingly encouraging a flash mob performance of YMCA...!)

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Greener Arctic may be down to lemming poo, not climate

Graham Marsden
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But...

... did anyone detect a squeaky voice saying "Let's go!"

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Boring BOFHs want cash prize more than space flight

Graham Marsden
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Pint

Trip of a lifetime...?

$102,000 and it's Beer o'Clock...!

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Romanian authorities cuff NASA hack suspect

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

But...

... which country is he going to be tried in...?!

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Obama says his birthplace is 'in Asia'

Graham Marsden
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Devil

@Chad H.

Ah, but you've got to remember that in the US you can vote for the Right Wing Party or the *REALLY* Right Wing Party, so anyone who even slightly drifts towards the centre is, by some weird sort of fuzzy logic, at least a Socialist if not an out and out Left Wing Pinko Commie!

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The new touchy-feely Doctor Who trend: Worrying

Graham Marsden
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@Grease Monkey

Sigh, I didn't say "you can't complain unless you can do better yourself". Read Mike JVX's post, he got the point I was making.

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Graham Marsden
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@Mike Brown

No, I'm saying if you think you can do better, why don't you.

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@Mike Brown

Fine, if you can do better, write a script and send it in to the BBC.

(Better put it through a spell checker first, though...)

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Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Keep Calm...

.... And Don't Blink!

I have to wonder whether the author of this article also bitches that nobody's writing stories like those from the Golden Age of SF between the 1930s and the 1950s any more.

Well, oddly, Doctor Who, like all other Sci-Fi, grows and changes according to the times it's in. So much SF is a reflection of the social conditions in which it is written (compare the Cyberpunk of the 1980s with Banks' Culture stories for example)

Each Doctor is different, to expect them to all be the same would be to put the series into a strait-jacket churning out the same old stuff over and over again which would be tedious beyond belief.

Instead we have developing characters and story arcs (including the wonderful "backwards arc" of River Song) and still the Silence one continues. If that's not your thing, please feel free to go back to the three R's of Rockets, Rayguns and Robots, but let those of us who appreciate a bit more subtlety on their SF enjoy what is a great series *now*.

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New human-brain chip can be adjusted for cannabis effect

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

"New human-brain chip can be adjusted for cannabis effect"

And I thought that this would be about Wireheading from Larry Niven's Known Space books...!

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Army raygun to boost power with starlight de-twinkling tech

Graham Marsden
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@Alister

Yep, The Cardinal of the Kremlin. (It was called Fan Dance, although probably not in reference to Sally Rand's classic act! ;-) )

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Just trolling: It's OK to poke fun at Christians, says ASA

Graham Marsden
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The advert is discriminatory...

... to goats because none of them were offered the position!

I'll just trit-trot along now...

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Brandjacked Google+ page slings insults at Bank of America

Graham Marsden
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Happy

"how could they tell this one wasn't from the real BofA?"

Because it *was* a pretty accurate summary of the aims of every big bank!

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Politicians call for Modern Warfare 3 censure

Graham Marsden
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Happy

@Yawn

"game that allows players to engage in gratuitous acts of violence against attention seeking Members of Parliament."

Now there's an idea...!

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Facebook says it's winning against Justin Bieber smut onslaught

Graham Marsden
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Fortunately...

... I've not been exposed this horrendous and terrible onslaught which has affected so many people...

The photoshopped porn?

No, Justin Bieber!

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Gov justifies e-petitions as MPs mull upping debate threshold

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Exactly!

How *dare* people think that they have a democratic right to express an opinion? Don't the Proles know that they should keep their mouths shut and enjoy the Bread and Circuses of I'm Strictly an X-Factor Celebrity...

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Stripper nicked for 'nicking knickers' with kids in tow

Graham Marsden
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Joke

"The children were placed in the care of social services...

"...and earned Fleischmann a charge on child cruelty"

Erm, that might have been phrased better!!

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Cable broadband making more money than cable telly

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Perhaps now...

... they can use all that money to provide a *RELIABLE* service!

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Bishop to bless road salt supplies for added winter safety

Graham Marsden
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@SoupDragon

The thing is, according to a friend who works in the Middle East, people there *do* drive like maniacs at high speeds with no seat-belts etc.

If you try to point out how dangerous this is they just shrug and say "Insh'Allah" (if God wills it), ie they believe that if it is Allah's will that they have a fatal crash, nothing they do can influence it anyway...!

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Graham Marsden
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WTF?

@Elmer Phud

I hope we're not talking the Stick and Bucket Dance here...!!!

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Graham Marsden
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Trollface

As someone once said...

... Religion was originally mankind's attempt to communicate with the weather!

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New anonymity rule on Euro airport body scanners

Graham Marsden
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@Captain Underpants

"Scans like this are a pre-emptive measure"

No, they're just another part of the ridiculous "we have to be seen to be doing something" Security Theatre.

See, for instance, this video clip of Adam Savage from Mythbusters who went through one of these scanners, got off the flight at the other end and then realised he was carrying two twelve inch industrial razor blades on his person..! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3yaqq9Jjb4

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Salman Rushdie hissy-fit forces Facebook name U-turn

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Like so many idiots...

... Khomenei didn't actually bother reading the book before condemning it.

Rather like a lot of commentards on this thread...

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Lego movie greenlighted by Warner Bros

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

"hybrid movie, [...] that arguably only worked once for Who Framed Roger Rabbit"

ORLY?

Here's Gene Kelly dancing with Jerry Mouse in Anchors Aweigh back in 1944: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJzYKm1_Bvo&feature=related

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Web keeps bent politicians honest, says Google boss

Graham Marsden
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Re: "lies and misinformation about politicians"

It does, of course, also allow people the opportunity to check such stories, unfortunately those who are inclined to believe those stories will accept them without bothering to try to verify them anyway..

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Pass the wine, dear. Yes, that papier-mache thing

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

RTFA!

"All you would need to do is rip out the plastic lining and put the paper outer-casing in the bin or on the compost heap"

Did you not notice that bit or were you already composing your "Meh, it won't work!" response by the time you were half way down the article?

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Meanwhile in Japan: Your new best pal is a vending machine

Graham Marsden
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Go stick...

... your head in a pig! ;-)

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Yates of the Yard cleared of misconduct

Graham Marsden
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IPCC...

... AKA the Independent Police Cover-up Commission...

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Facebook ad helps Scot cops seize fake goods, drugs

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

There's this bloke called Mike Brown...

... he's got a flash PC and lots of other goodies in his house. I think he's a crook.

Why don't you give his place a spin and see what you can turn up...

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Mystery radioisotopes in Czech air are not from Fukushima

Graham Marsden
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@NATO member?

Ah, so they're *friendly* radioactive isotopes...!

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Graham Marsden
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@Tchou

Sure, pretty limited radioactive fallouts.

But the fall out from terrorist revenge attacks and suicide bombers...???

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Robo-bear helps snorers snooze more smoothly

Graham Marsden
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And what if...

... you like to sleep on your front...?

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Duqu targeted each victim with unique files and servers

Graham Marsden
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The hidden message is an obvious reference to the Dexter television series

Not "Dexter's Lab"?

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Yelp update ridicules Republican (ex)-hopeful Rick Perry

Graham Marsden
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Devil

All this just goes to prove the old adage...

... that people get the leadership they deserve.

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Mozilla promises more speed with Firefox 9 beta

Graham Marsden
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I think I'll wait...

... for Firefox 10 which, by my reckoning, should be out next week...

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Eleven - if you will - rocktastic music movies

Graham Marsden
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Don't forget...

... that several prominent rock musicians (eg Ozzy Osborne to name just one) thought that This is Spinal Tap was real because they had had events like getting lost backstage actually happen to them!

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Apple applies to patent a SIM you can't remove

Graham Marsden
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@Flashy Red

"All operators"? Or all *Apple Approved* operators? And don't forget that you will need to get the operators to *agree* to let you switch...

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Deep-sea squid go from transparent to dark as fast as a Kindle

Graham Marsden
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Those squid...

... better get themselves a good patent lawyer...!

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Now Russians can't even contact their busted Mars probe

Graham Marsden
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"The craft is insured for 1.2 billion roubles (£24.7m)"

I agree with ratfox, this sounds suspiciously like an insurance job...! ;-)

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Chicken fillets: The affordable alternative to Bulgarian Airbags

Graham Marsden
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"The unfortunate lass lost control of her car in the treacherous conditions"

"Unfortunate"? Or was is that she lost control because she was driving *too fast* for the "treacherous conditions"?

The recent tragedy on the M5 shows the dangers of driving too close together and too fast for the conditions, yet still idiots do that and then consider themselves "unfortunate" when they get involved in accidents.

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Mozilla updates to Firefox 8, disables add-ons

Graham Marsden
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Boulderdash!

A classic old game which El Reg should do a retrospective of :-)

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US doctors demand right to advise on gun ownership

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Also...

... household chemicals have warnings printed on them, so do cars "Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear", plus you have to take a driving test but not a firearms test, hot tubs have warnings and thermostats...

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Boffins build electric car from a single molecule

Graham Marsden
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Oh you'll never get to heaven...

... in a molecular car.

'Cos a molecular car,

Won't go that far!

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Lemmings

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Music!!!

Ah yes, "The Good, The Bad and the Lemmings", "How Much is that Lemming in the Window" and, of course the classic "Oh Little Town of Bethle-lem"! :-)

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Production electric motorcycle breaks 100 mile range

Graham Marsden
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@Driving is a shared responsibility

And car drivers etc need to actually *LOOK* properly before making a manoeuvre rather than thinking "ok, I can't see another car, it must be safe".

"Sorry, Mate, I Didn't See You" just means that the driver didn't look properly in the first place.

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Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Loud pipes...

... don't save lives so much as good observation and proper riding plans do, they just piss off other people *after* you've gone past because they'll be hearing you for the next mile.

The only problem I see with electric drive is that makes it harder to judge your speed "by ear" simply by knowing what note your engine makes in which gear.

Oh and as for "88 mph that will get you little cred from the local two-wheeled community" that's bollocks, as long as you can flick it through the twisties, that's what matters!

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Pay-by-wave: At least it's better than being mugged

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

it's written into law...

... that the burden of proof is on the bank, not the customer.

Right, and that's guaranteed to stop banks from trying to fob customers off with "It's your fault, we're not paying out" claims...!

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Russian Mars mission launches after multi-year delays

Graham Marsden
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Da da dum...

... Da da dah dum!

(I actually had the Captain Scarlet uniform when I was *very* young!)

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German website offers custom cow killing

Graham Marsden
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Alien

Paging...

... the League of Cattle Mutilators...

(Hmm, no Illuminati icon, the Alien one will have to do ;-) )

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Vatican mulls God particle, calls for appointment of antichrist

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Don't the Vatican...

... have a Patent on the God Particle...?

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