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* Posts by Graham Marsden

5068 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Facebook flashplodders lose appeal against 4-yr jail stint

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@Titus Technophobe

How do you "inadvertently" have "a Face book inspire party" held in your house?

I suggest you might look at de-friending a few idiots rather than demanding they get four year jail sentences!

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@These scrotes incite a riot

To paraphrase an old quote: "What if they gave a riot but nobody came?"

Not long after the recent riots, just down the road from me a party got out of hand with over 100 people turning up after word got out via Twatter etc.

The Police managed to herd them out of the side roads and contain them, but some drunken idiots "for a laugh" apparently started chanting "we're going to riot".

There was no riot, very little damage was caused, but should those idiots also get four year sentences?

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Leo DiCaprio slated to play Turing in biopic

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Ironically...

... one of the things that helped Bletchley Park crack Enigma was when the Germans used three letter codes to initialise the rotor positions and often used HIT which was followed by, of course, LER for the encrypted message setting!

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Survey: '4 million' Brits stung by ID theft

Graham Marsden
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Unhappy

@"Investigate mail that goes missing"

Even if you *KNOW* something has gone missing because you sent it, the Post Office will just say "Fill in this form, send it to us and eventually, after you've allowed three weeks for it to turn up, fob you off with a letter saying 'if it is important you should pay extra for Recorded or Special Delivery and there's nothing else we can do'".

Been there, done that...

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Sesame Street YouTube page hijacked by smut pushers

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Up

@TRT

Curses, that was going to be my comment! :-)

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ICANN rescues time zone database

Graham Marsden
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Joke

I've just heard from the Catholic Church...

... who are claiming royalties from everyone for using the Gregorian Calendar...!

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iPad baby baffled by paper magazine

Graham Marsden
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Happy

@Tony Smith

To quote from The Ballad of Halo Jones, I think you mean "Increased Leisure Citizens" :-)

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Judge OKs warrantless tracking of suspect's cellphone

Graham Marsden
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@Old Handle

If they have legitimate grounds for tracing a phone call, then, just as with land lines, they can get a warrant to do so. But "Because we want to" coupled with a decision by an ignorant Judge aren't legitimate grounds.

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Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Reasonable expectation of privacy!

Just because the authorities *can* find the location of a phone in case of emergency, doesn't mean that they should automatically be allowed to do that with *any* phone at *any* time of their choosing without going through the required legal process.

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Graham Marsden
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WTF?

'interpretation of cellphone calls as “wire communications”'

Hasn't he heard of this clever modern invention called "wireless"?

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Winning new UK pylon design may never be used

Graham Marsden
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Mushroom

Only...

... once!

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Sixth of Britain's cellphones have traces of poo on them

Graham Marsden
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Coat

To quote the Hitch Hiker's Guide...

FORD:

”Golgafrincham Ark Fleet. Ship B. Hold Seven: Telephone Sanitizer, Second Class.” And a serial number!

ARTHUR:

”Telephone Sanitizer”? A dead telephone sanitizer?

FORD:

Best kind.

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Astronomy crowd spots PLANET KILLER!

Graham Marsden
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Coat

How disappointing...

... I was expecting them to say that they'd sighted a huge ship that was hiding in a pocket of hyperspace or maybe a suspicious looking extra moon...

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Fretting Googler retracts anti-Google+ rant

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

"he accidentally set the post to be available publicly"

And thus neatly demonstrated how stupid it is to post anything like this on a "social network".

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An ode to rent-a-nerds and cable monkeys

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

"Writing an article for El Reg...

"...takes between two hours and several weeks of research"

Or a few seconds to cut and paste from somewhere else and about five minutes to chuck in some extra comments...

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One in 10 Brits leaves web passwords in their will

Graham Marsden
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Pirate

What's the betting...

... that certain Providers will add (if they don't have already) a clause in their T&Cs which states that only *YOU* have the right to listen to the music or read the books etc you've downloaded and that, on death, the ownership rights revert to the Provider, so passing on your password to your wife or children is breaking the law (or will be when they've finished lobbying for it!)

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AOL demos the human-free datacenter

Graham Marsden
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Terminator

Surely...

... this should be under ROtM?

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ISPs end PM's web smut block dream

Graham Marsden
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@re: r18

"An r18 film is only allowed to be sold by a licensed sex shop."

True, for bricks and mortar shops, but it's also perfectly legal for you to buy such a film via the web from anywhere in Europe *except* the UK unless the UK seller has paid for a licence for their business to be classed as a sex shop even if it has no physical high-street presence!

Consequently you have UK suppliers who can legally make films which are not for sale in this country...

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Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@lotus49

I suggest you consider these two sentences from your post again:

1) "they are not trying to foist their ideas on anyone else."

2) "a quick trip to a children's clothes shop where sexy underwear for 9 year olds is on display may result in anyone reasonably wondering whether this is appropriate, Christian or not."

The point is they are not simply "reasonably wondering" if this is appropriate and then, if they decide for themselves that it is not, they won't buy such things for their children, they have already decided that it *is* appropriate and now consider that it is their duty to lobby the Government to impose that decision on everyone else, just as they have done with their desire for "opt in" porn.

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German states defend use of 'Federal Trojan'

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Or perhaps...

... someone said "Hey, how about we test if it can be picked up by lots of different virus scanners...!"

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Biker gang plunders Covent Garden Apple Store

Graham Marsden
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@Grease Monkey

Bike haunts? What, you mean like Loomies at the Junction of the A272 and the A32?

Try standing outside there and watch who gets on their bike and then thrashes off down one of those roads like a complete idiot.

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Graham Marsden
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WTF?

@Grease Monkey

Speaking also as a "middle-aged biker" and one who only passed his Direct Access four years ago, I'd just like to say: Nonsense!

It's not the "middle aged" ones I see trying to get their knee down on the A272, nor are they the ones carving across lanes of traffic on the motorway or doing stupid overtakes on blind bends and crossing double white lines or treating the chevron-ed dividing gap between two-way traffic as a "bikers only" lane which they can blast along at stupid speeds blithely trusting that no cager is going to obstruct their path...

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Boffins fear killer gamma death blasts from space

Graham Marsden
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Headmaster

@Jerry

How about you try looking a word up in a dictionary before you start slagging off others?

For instance, from the Free Online Dictionary "1. To lurch or swerve while in motion" and I think there would be plenty of lurching and swerving when two black holes came close together...

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Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

We're all DOOOOOOOOOOMMMEDDD!!!

(Again...)

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Smut oglers told to opt in to keep web filth flowing

Graham Marsden
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Childcatcher

@That'll work

Back in the 1980s, when the 0898 adult phone lines were in operation, it was decided to make access to those lines "opt in" so everyone, by default, was opted out and, if they wanted to phone those numbers, they had to contact BT and ask someone to switch on that feature.

Not surprisingly, the number of people phoning those number plummeted and the Operators of those legitimate businesses were almost driven to bankruptcy because of the censorship of their provision of perfectly legal content.

Fortunately sanity, at last, prevailed, and the default was switched to "opt out", but it's a salutary warning of what happens when Governments try to do something "For The Good Of the Children!"

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Laptop shoots spike into owner's hand

Graham Marsden
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Pirate

"What's this one, 'spring surprise'?"

"Ah - now, that's our speciality - covered with darkest creamy chocolate. When you pop it in your mouth steel bolts spring out and plunge straight through-both cheeks. "

Monty Python - Whizzo Chocolates sketch :-)

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Homeland Security bungles 'pre-crime' tech test docs

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

"There are no "innocents" involved in current testing...

"[...] all the research was conducted on volunteers who were fully aware they were being watched."

So unless they're amazingly good actors the "Observer Paradox" comes into effect whereby the knowledge that you're being watched changes the way you behave, thus invalidating the results.

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Lightsabres to illuminate Christmas dinner

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Twenty six quid...

... for a candlestick?!

And you can't even use them as a cheese knife...!

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Survey: Most TV viewers surf while they watch

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Up

Radio with occasional pictures...

I know exactly what you mean. So much of what appears on TV these days (especially what passes as "documentary") has images simply because, well, it's TV, you've got to have pictures, but they don't actually *add* anything to what you're hearing.

Oh, BTW, I'm writing this reply whilst "watching" (or listening to) Mock the Week on Sky+ :-)

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Can general relativity explain the OPERA neutrino result?

Graham Marsden
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Happy

One of my favourite quotes...

... From Isaac Asimov:

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but rather, 'Hmm... that's funny...'"

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Gas bill climbed £13,000 after correct online reading given

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

"a useful service for people who...

"...wanted to give themselves a heart attack!"

There, fixed it!

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'Hey, Tories, who knows what a nontrepreneur is?’

Graham Marsden
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I thought...

... Parties traditionally hosted their conferences to give their members a couple of days at the seaside.

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Gov to spread mobile masts to remote corners of Blighty

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@Just Thinking

And, just the same, having mobile phone coverage is a convenience. You can go to somewhere where there is a landline or payphone if you want to call someone, there is no obligation for anyone to supply a signal for your convenience.

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Graham Marsden
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WTF?

@Just Thinking

*Why* should it be a "legal requirement for the phone companies to provide 100% coverage"? That's like saying it should be a "legal requirement" for Company X to have a store in my town!

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Graham Marsden
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Thumb Down

@Just Thinking

And if you're out in the middle of nowhere and need to call for help, would you suddenly decide that that £150m was money well spent...?

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Mozilla to Firefox users: Ditch crashtastic McAfee plugin

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

@PS

But they're glad I upvoted your post!

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Europe to launch bold Sun swoop mission

Graham Marsden
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Coat

So are Disaster Area playing The Earth...?

"Ship locked into stage computer A-OK. Stand by for Sun Dive."

Mine's the one with the Electronic sub-etha Thumb in the pocket...

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Security by obscurity not so bad after all, argues prof

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

"make it harder to reverse engineer"

Harder, yes, impossible no.

A little story: Many years ago I and friends used to crack copy protection on games on the BBC Micro so we could hack the code for infinite lives etc (not to actually *copy* the games of course, because that's *theft* doncherknow...!)

As time went on the protection got harder and more intricate, culminating in a version which Exclusive-Or-ed a bit-stream from the cassette (yes, games came on cassette tapes years ago, boys and girls!) against the timer such that any attempt to break into it would change the reading on the timer and thus render the code garbage and pressing the "Break" key would just wipe the memory.

Of course as soon as we realised this, we figured there was a simple bypass by taking out the chip with the OS on it (yes, a chip with the *whole* OS!) copying it and re-blowing it onto an EPROM but without the code that wiped the memory.

So we could then load the game, press Break and save the memory giving us full access to the code which we could hack to our hearts' content.

In other words we found a flaw in Security by Obscurity which, once breached, made all the Security completely redundant.

The moral of this story is that Security by Obscurity will make life harder for those who want to get their hands on the code, but unless you have something else in there as well, once it's breached, your code is wide open.

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Premier League loses footie decoder case

Graham Marsden
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@dms05

But she is not showing games "For Gain"! Now if she was charging an entry fee on the door, that would be "for gain", but she's offering them for *free* and anyone coming into the pub can buy a drink if they want, just as they could before, however that has nothing to do with the football.

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Graham Marsden
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"she's attempting to fleece the rights holder to make money."

As opposed to the Rights Holders who are attempting to fleece *everyone* to maximise their profits?

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Facebook: 'We didn't patent stalking logged-off users'

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Or, to put it more succinctly...

... Facebook is Watching You!

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Microsoft updates Hotmail to deal with grey spam

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Down

"as a result of having signed up on a legitimate website"

Or as a result of that "legitimate website" automatically opting you in to a newsletter without asking you, or because a site you *did* sign up to then sells your details on to a site which you *didn't* sign up to, or as a result of some spammer using your e-mail address in their list which then gets harvested by another list or by...

In other words if I, personally, didn't sign up to it willingly and knowingly, then I reserve the right to call it spam!

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Facebook games teach teens bad habits

Graham Marsden
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Childcatcher

OMG!!!

THERE'S PEEDOS EVERYWHERE!!!!!

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22,000 'freetards' escape Hurt Locker piracy suit

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Err, WTF???

"22,000 Freetards escape Hurt Lock piracy suit" says your headline, but then you go on to say that "90 per cent of the file sharers caught up in the Hurt Locker downloading case dismissed"

This tends to imply that (certainly in this case) they aren't "Freetards" because they *didn't* actually download something and then try to justify infringing someone else's copyright )or, at least there's no proof that would hold up in court).

Or does using any file sharing service now automatically mean that you're a "Freetard" no matter what you share??

Not impressive, El Reg.

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UK punters happy to pay £3 to top up e-wallets

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

"paying nothing wasn't an option"

In other words, the survey was rigged to *only* get an answer of "how much are you willing to pay?" not "are you willing to pay at all?".

I'm sure if there was a "paying nothing" option, that would by far have outstripped all other options.

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Final insult for Full Tilt as Channel Islands kill its licence

Graham Marsden
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"how can you be *certain* that an on-line poker is genuine?"

There's an old saying: If you sit down at a poker table and you can't spot the sucker, it's you!

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NASA: 'Asteroid armageddon less likely than we feared'

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

So...

... the USA and Russia simultaneously detonated huge nuclear bombs...?

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Boffins prove Queen ballad 'world's most catchy song'

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Hold a chicken in the air...

... stick a deckchair up your nose...!

(What do you mean, you don't remember Spitting Image? Kids these days...)

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Logitech fined for bogus bug-busting keyboard ad

Graham Marsden
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Coat

"Self sanitizing phone"

What? And put all those Telephone Sanitizers out of a job (and onto the B-Ark)...?!

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Boffins invent miracle pill that counteracts effects of booze

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

So...

... you take a pill to stop you feeling drunk, so you can drink more and, whoops, goodbye liver...!

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