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* Posts by Graham Marsden

5077 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Bishop to bless road salt supplies for added winter safety

Graham Marsden
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@SoupDragon

The thing is, according to a friend who works in the Middle East, people there *do* drive like maniacs at high speeds with no seat-belts etc.

If you try to point out how dangerous this is they just shrug and say "Insh'Allah" (if God wills it), ie they believe that if it is Allah's will that they have a fatal crash, nothing they do can influence it anyway...!

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Graham Marsden
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WTF?

@Elmer Phud

I hope we're not talking the Stick and Bucket Dance here...!!!

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Graham Marsden
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Trollface

As someone once said...

... Religion was originally mankind's attempt to communicate with the weather!

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New anonymity rule on Euro airport body scanners

Graham Marsden
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@Captain Underpants

"Scans like this are a pre-emptive measure"

No, they're just another part of the ridiculous "we have to be seen to be doing something" Security Theatre.

See, for instance, this video clip of Adam Savage from Mythbusters who went through one of these scanners, got off the flight at the other end and then realised he was carrying two twelve inch industrial razor blades on his person..! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3yaqq9Jjb4

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Salman Rushdie hissy-fit forces Facebook name U-turn

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Like so many idiots...

... Khomenei didn't actually bother reading the book before condemning it.

Rather like a lot of commentards on this thread...

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Lego movie greenlighted by Warner Bros

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

"hybrid movie, [...] that arguably only worked once for Who Framed Roger Rabbit"

ORLY?

Here's Gene Kelly dancing with Jerry Mouse in Anchors Aweigh back in 1944: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJzYKm1_Bvo&feature=related

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Web keeps bent politicians honest, says Google boss

Graham Marsden
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Re: "lies and misinformation about politicians"

It does, of course, also allow people the opportunity to check such stories, unfortunately those who are inclined to believe those stories will accept them without bothering to try to verify them anyway..

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Pass the wine, dear. Yes, that papier-mache thing

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

RTFA!

"All you would need to do is rip out the plastic lining and put the paper outer-casing in the bin or on the compost heap"

Did you not notice that bit or were you already composing your "Meh, it won't work!" response by the time you were half way down the article?

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Meanwhile in Japan: Your new best pal is a vending machine

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Go stick...

... your head in a pig! ;-)

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Yates of the Yard cleared of misconduct

Graham Marsden
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IPCC...

... AKA the Independent Police Cover-up Commission...

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Facebook ad helps Scot cops seize fake goods, drugs

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

There's this bloke called Mike Brown...

... he's got a flash PC and lots of other goodies in his house. I think he's a crook.

Why don't you give his place a spin and see what you can turn up...

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Mystery radioisotopes in Czech air are not from Fukushima

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

@NATO member?

Ah, so they're *friendly* radioactive isotopes...!

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Graham Marsden
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@Tchou

Sure, pretty limited radioactive fallouts.

But the fall out from terrorist revenge attacks and suicide bombers...???

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Robo-bear helps snorers snooze more smoothly

Graham Marsden
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And what if...

... you like to sleep on your front...?

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The new touchy-feely Doctor Who trend: Worrying

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@Mike Brown

Fine, if you can do better, write a script and send it in to the BBC.

(Better put it through a spell checker first, though...)

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Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Keep Calm...

.... And Don't Blink!

I have to wonder whether the author of this article also bitches that nobody's writing stories like those from the Golden Age of SF between the 1930s and the 1950s any more.

Well, oddly, Doctor Who, like all other Sci-Fi, grows and changes according to the times it's in. So much SF is a reflection of the social conditions in which it is written (compare the Cyberpunk of the 1980s with Banks' Culture stories for example)

Each Doctor is different, to expect them to all be the same would be to put the series into a strait-jacket churning out the same old stuff over and over again which would be tedious beyond belief.

Instead we have developing characters and story arcs (including the wonderful "backwards arc" of River Song) and still the Silence one continues. If that's not your thing, please feel free to go back to the three R's of Rockets, Rayguns and Robots, but let those of us who appreciate a bit more subtlety on their SF enjoy what is a great series *now*.

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Duqu targeted each victim with unique files and servers

Graham Marsden
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Coat

The hidden message is an obvious reference to the Dexter television series

Not "Dexter's Lab"?

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Yelp update ridicules Republican (ex)-hopeful Rick Perry

Graham Marsden
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Devil

All this just goes to prove the old adage...

... that people get the leadership they deserve.

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Mozilla promises more speed with Firefox 9 beta

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

I think I'll wait...

... for Firefox 10 which, by my reckoning, should be out next week...

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Eleven - if you will - rocktastic music movies

Graham Marsden
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Happy

Don't forget...

... that several prominent rock musicians (eg Ozzy Osborne to name just one) thought that This is Spinal Tap was real because they had had events like getting lost backstage actually happen to them!

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Apple applies to patent a SIM you can't remove

Graham Marsden
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@Flashy Red

"All operators"? Or all *Apple Approved* operators? And don't forget that you will need to get the operators to *agree* to let you switch...

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Deep-sea squid go from transparent to dark as fast as a Kindle

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Those squid...

... better get themselves a good patent lawyer...!

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Now Russians can't even contact their busted Mars probe

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

"The craft is insured for 1.2 billion roubles (£24.7m)"

I agree with ratfox, this sounds suspiciously like an insurance job...! ;-)

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Chicken fillets: The affordable alternative to Bulgarian Airbags

Graham Marsden
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"The unfortunate lass lost control of her car in the treacherous conditions"

"Unfortunate"? Or was is that she lost control because she was driving *too fast* for the "treacherous conditions"?

The recent tragedy on the M5 shows the dangers of driving too close together and too fast for the conditions, yet still idiots do that and then consider themselves "unfortunate" when they get involved in accidents.

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Mozilla updates to Firefox 8, disables add-ons

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Up

Boulderdash!

A classic old game which El Reg should do a retrospective of :-)

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US doctors demand right to advise on gun ownership

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Also...

... household chemicals have warnings printed on them, so do cars "Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear", plus you have to take a driving test but not a firearms test, hot tubs have warnings and thermostats...

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Boffins build electric car from a single molecule

Graham Marsden
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Oh you'll never get to heaven...

... in a molecular car.

'Cos a molecular car,

Won't go that far!

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Lemmings

Graham Marsden
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Music!!!

Ah yes, "The Good, The Bad and the Lemmings", "How Much is that Lemming in the Window" and, of course the classic "Oh Little Town of Bethle-lem"! :-)

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Production electric motorcycle breaks 100 mile range

Graham Marsden
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@Driving is a shared responsibility

And car drivers etc need to actually *LOOK* properly before making a manoeuvre rather than thinking "ok, I can't see another car, it must be safe".

"Sorry, Mate, I Didn't See You" just means that the driver didn't look properly in the first place.

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Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Loud pipes...

... don't save lives so much as good observation and proper riding plans do, they just piss off other people *after* you've gone past because they'll be hearing you for the next mile.

The only problem I see with electric drive is that makes it harder to judge your speed "by ear" simply by knowing what note your engine makes in which gear.

Oh and as for "88 mph that will get you little cred from the local two-wheeled community" that's bollocks, as long as you can flick it through the twisties, that's what matters!

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Pay-by-wave: At least it's better than being mugged

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

it's written into law...

... that the burden of proof is on the bank, not the customer.

Right, and that's guaranteed to stop banks from trying to fob customers off with "It's your fault, we're not paying out" claims...!

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Russian Mars mission launches after multi-year delays

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Da da dum...

... Da da dah dum!

(I actually had the Captain Scarlet uniform when I was *very* young!)

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German website offers custom cow killing

Graham Marsden
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Alien

Paging...

... the League of Cattle Mutilators...

(Hmm, no Illuminati icon, the Alien one will have to do ;-) )

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Vatican mulls God particle, calls for appointment of antichrist

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Don't the Vatican...

... have a Patent on the God Particle...?

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Gov reduces e-petitions to public spleen-venting exercise

Graham Marsden
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"It is a mechanism for...

"...making it look as if we give a damn what the public wants and let's them think that by signing a petition something will actually change."

There, fixed it for you.

Seriously, though, if you want to at least have a chance of anyone paying any attention to you, write to or e-mail your MP via http://www.theyworkforyou.com

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Hackers mistake French rugby site for German stock exchange

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Epic...

... FAIL!

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Beijing to get free Wi-Fi with obvious strings attached

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

"trace those whose online activity might endanger social security"

ITTM "trace those whose online activity might endanger the positions of a bunch of arrogant and corrupt despotic dictators who know that they will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes...!"

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Shale gas operations triggered Blackpool tremors

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Frak me...

... has nobody made the obligatory Battlestar Galactica reference yet...?

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Record flight is step toward HYPERSONIC SPACE AIRSHIP

Graham Marsden
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Alien

Dark Skies...

... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0115151/

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UK cops must justify using new mobile interception tech

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

@Thats ok then

Yep, let's hear it for Weasel Clauses! "You have these rights, apart from the times when we decide that you shouldn't be allowed them"

"When's that?"

"Oh, whenever we feel like it..."

This is what worries me about the idea of this country having a written Constitution, it's a great idea, but unless rights are stated as absolutes, this sort of weaseling means that rights are only granted at the behest of the state and can be taken away at their whim :-(

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UK biz: Fax us and explain what this cloud thing is

Graham Marsden
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I have a fax machine...

... in fact the exact same one shown in your image, *with* the same stickers on it!

And you know what? It works! Why the hell would I, running a one-man business, need to faff around with (let alone pay for) "clouds", smartphones, fondle slabs or any other such "OMG it's shiny, we have to have it!" nonsense?

As for "there is a real business need for these solutions", whose business is this, exactly? Mine, or the people trying to flog the stuff?

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Top GCHQ spook warns of 'disturbing' levels of cyber-raids

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

So...

... more pork and empire building, then...

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This weekend: First ever iPADS IN SPAAAACE

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

I hate to think...

... what their bill for roaming charges will be like...!

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Zimbabwean claims prostitute turned into donkey

Graham Marsden
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Happy

There should have been a clue when....

... she said her name was Jenny!

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Credit card companies plan to sell your purchase data to advertisers

Graham Marsden
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@jake

"I can get anything I will ever need in life within a two hour's round-trip from where I sit as I type"

Do you have nothing better to do than spend a couple of hours driving to buy something when, instead, you could get it with a few clicks of a mouse?

And how much petrol (or diesel) do you burn whilst doing that? And how much does that item cost? Are you really willing to spend extra time and money buying something from someone with a steady gaze and a firm handshake (something which any con-man worth his salt naturally practices carefully) when you can get it cheaper and more easily and delivered to your door just so you can avoid using cards?

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Google report reveals YouTube takedown requests... by country

Graham Marsden
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Unhappy

@Jonski

And I was just about to upvote you for what seemed to be an amusing post...!

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TomTom Go Live TopGear Edition

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@Grease Monkey

So TomTom gives you the ability to report map errors, but instead of doing so (by activating the button that lets you record the position of a map error), you choose, instead, to bitch about the fact that it's *their* responsibility to fix the mistakes.

Of course given that you won't *tell* them where the mistakes are...

BTW You might try installing TomTom Home on your PC, in which case you can connect your Sat Nav up to it, click on the button that runs a simulation of the device on screen and then access the locations of the map errors and type in details from your keyboard at your convenience.

Technology, it's wonderful if you actually try using it properly...

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Scot.gov plots its own superintranet

Graham Marsden
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Flame

"A Scottish Government team...

"... has met with cabinet officials to discuss the reviews of major contracts and to share what they have learned."

And found out that a) politicians cannot write a sensible contract or bring in a project on time or on budget, but b) that doesn't matter because a few years down the line there'll be a lucrative directorship available...

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Google dumps + from Boolean search tool

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

@Christoph

Surely that's ++ungood :-)

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Last mystery of first recorded supernova laid to rest

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

"White Dwarfs...

... "go thermonuclear"

Erm, so what were they doing beforehand...?

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