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* Posts by Graham Marsden

4950 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

ISPs end PM's web smut block dream

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@lotus49

I suggest you consider these two sentences from your post again:

1) "they are not trying to foist their ideas on anyone else."

2) "a quick trip to a children's clothes shop where sexy underwear for 9 year olds is on display may result in anyone reasonably wondering whether this is appropriate, Christian or not."

The point is they are not simply "reasonably wondering" if this is appropriate and then, if they decide for themselves that it is not, they won't buy such things for their children, they have already decided that it *is* appropriate and now consider that it is their duty to lobby the Government to impose that decision on everyone else, just as they have done with their desire for "opt in" porn.

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German states defend use of 'Federal Trojan'

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Or perhaps...

... someone said "Hey, how about we test if it can be picked up by lots of different virus scanners...!"

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Biker gang plunders Covent Garden Apple Store

Graham Marsden
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@Grease Monkey

Bike haunts? What, you mean like Loomies at the Junction of the A272 and the A32?

Try standing outside there and watch who gets on their bike and then thrashes off down one of those roads like a complete idiot.

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Graham Marsden
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WTF?

@Grease Monkey

Speaking also as a "middle-aged biker" and one who only passed his Direct Access four years ago, I'd just like to say: Nonsense!

It's not the "middle aged" ones I see trying to get their knee down on the A272, nor are they the ones carving across lanes of traffic on the motorway or doing stupid overtakes on blind bends and crossing double white lines or treating the chevron-ed dividing gap between two-way traffic as a "bikers only" lane which they can blast along at stupid speeds blithely trusting that no cager is going to obstruct their path...

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Boffins fear killer gamma death blasts from space

Graham Marsden
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Headmaster

@Jerry

How about you try looking a word up in a dictionary before you start slagging off others?

For instance, from the Free Online Dictionary "1. To lurch or swerve while in motion" and I think there would be plenty of lurching and swerving when two black holes came close together...

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Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

We're all DOOOOOOOOOOMMMEDDD!!!

(Again...)

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Smut oglers told to opt in to keep web filth flowing

Graham Marsden
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Childcatcher

@That'll work

Back in the 1980s, when the 0898 adult phone lines were in operation, it was decided to make access to those lines "opt in" so everyone, by default, was opted out and, if they wanted to phone those numbers, they had to contact BT and ask someone to switch on that feature.

Not surprisingly, the number of people phoning those number plummeted and the Operators of those legitimate businesses were almost driven to bankruptcy because of the censorship of their provision of perfectly legal content.

Fortunately sanity, at last, prevailed, and the default was switched to "opt out", but it's a salutary warning of what happens when Governments try to do something "For The Good Of the Children!"

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Laptop shoots spike into owner's hand

Graham Marsden
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Pirate

"What's this one, 'spring surprise'?"

"Ah - now, that's our speciality - covered with darkest creamy chocolate. When you pop it in your mouth steel bolts spring out and plunge straight through-both cheeks. "

Monty Python - Whizzo Chocolates sketch :-)

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Homeland Security bungles 'pre-crime' tech test docs

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

"There are no "innocents" involved in current testing...

"[...] all the research was conducted on volunteers who were fully aware they were being watched."

So unless they're amazingly good actors the "Observer Paradox" comes into effect whereby the knowledge that you're being watched changes the way you behave, thus invalidating the results.

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Lightsabres to illuminate Christmas dinner

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Twenty six quid...

... for a candlestick?!

And you can't even use them as a cheese knife...!

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Survey: Most TV viewers surf while they watch

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Up

Radio with occasional pictures...

I know exactly what you mean. So much of what appears on TV these days (especially what passes as "documentary") has images simply because, well, it's TV, you've got to have pictures, but they don't actually *add* anything to what you're hearing.

Oh, BTW, I'm writing this reply whilst "watching" (or listening to) Mock the Week on Sky+ :-)

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Can general relativity explain the OPERA neutrino result?

Graham Marsden
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Happy

One of my favourite quotes...

... From Isaac Asimov:

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but rather, 'Hmm... that's funny...'"

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Gas bill climbed £13,000 after correct online reading given

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

"a useful service for people who...

"...wanted to give themselves a heart attack!"

There, fixed it!

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'Hey, Tories, who knows what a nontrepreneur is?’

Graham Marsden
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I thought...

... Parties traditionally hosted their conferences to give their members a couple of days at the seaside.

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Gov to spread mobile masts to remote corners of Blighty

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@Just Thinking

And, just the same, having mobile phone coverage is a convenience. You can go to somewhere where there is a landline or payphone if you want to call someone, there is no obligation for anyone to supply a signal for your convenience.

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Graham Marsden
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WTF?

@Just Thinking

*Why* should it be a "legal requirement for the phone companies to provide 100% coverage"? That's like saying it should be a "legal requirement" for Company X to have a store in my town!

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Graham Marsden
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@Just Thinking

And if you're out in the middle of nowhere and need to call for help, would you suddenly decide that that £150m was money well spent...?

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Mozilla to Firefox users: Ditch crashtastic McAfee plugin

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

@PS

But they're glad I upvoted your post!

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Europe to launch bold Sun swoop mission

Graham Marsden
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Coat

So are Disaster Area playing The Earth...?

"Ship locked into stage computer A-OK. Stand by for Sun Dive."

Mine's the one with the Electronic sub-etha Thumb in the pocket...

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Security by obscurity not so bad after all, argues prof

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

"make it harder to reverse engineer"

Harder, yes, impossible no.

A little story: Many years ago I and friends used to crack copy protection on games on the BBC Micro so we could hack the code for infinite lives etc (not to actually *copy* the games of course, because that's *theft* doncherknow...!)

As time went on the protection got harder and more intricate, culminating in a version which Exclusive-Or-ed a bit-stream from the cassette (yes, games came on cassette tapes years ago, boys and girls!) against the timer such that any attempt to break into it would change the reading on the timer and thus render the code garbage and pressing the "Break" key would just wipe the memory.

Of course as soon as we realised this, we figured there was a simple bypass by taking out the chip with the OS on it (yes, a chip with the *whole* OS!) copying it and re-blowing it onto an EPROM but without the code that wiped the memory.

So we could then load the game, press Break and save the memory giving us full access to the code which we could hack to our hearts' content.

In other words we found a flaw in Security by Obscurity which, once breached, made all the Security completely redundant.

The moral of this story is that Security by Obscurity will make life harder for those who want to get their hands on the code, but unless you have something else in there as well, once it's breached, your code is wide open.

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Premier League loses footie decoder case

Graham Marsden
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@dms05

But she is not showing games "For Gain"! Now if she was charging an entry fee on the door, that would be "for gain", but she's offering them for *free* and anyone coming into the pub can buy a drink if they want, just as they could before, however that has nothing to do with the football.

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Graham Marsden
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"she's attempting to fleece the rights holder to make money."

As opposed to the Rights Holders who are attempting to fleece *everyone* to maximise their profits?

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Facebook: 'We didn't patent stalking logged-off users'

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Or, to put it more succinctly...

... Facebook is Watching You!

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Microsoft updates Hotmail to deal with grey spam

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Down

"as a result of having signed up on a legitimate website"

Or as a result of that "legitimate website" automatically opting you in to a newsletter without asking you, or because a site you *did* sign up to then sells your details on to a site which you *didn't* sign up to, or as a result of some spammer using your e-mail address in their list which then gets harvested by another list or by...

In other words if I, personally, didn't sign up to it willingly and knowingly, then I reserve the right to call it spam!

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Facebook games teach teens bad habits

Graham Marsden
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Childcatcher

OMG!!!

THERE'S PEEDOS EVERYWHERE!!!!!

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22,000 'freetards' escape Hurt Locker piracy suit

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Err, WTF???

"22,000 Freetards escape Hurt Lock piracy suit" says your headline, but then you go on to say that "90 per cent of the file sharers caught up in the Hurt Locker downloading case dismissed"

This tends to imply that (certainly in this case) they aren't "Freetards" because they *didn't* actually download something and then try to justify infringing someone else's copyright )or, at least there's no proof that would hold up in court).

Or does using any file sharing service now automatically mean that you're a "Freetard" no matter what you share??

Not impressive, El Reg.

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UK punters happy to pay £3 to top up e-wallets

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

"paying nothing wasn't an option"

In other words, the survey was rigged to *only* get an answer of "how much are you willing to pay?" not "are you willing to pay at all?".

I'm sure if there was a "paying nothing" option, that would by far have outstripped all other options.

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Final insult for Full Tilt as Channel Islands kill its licence

Graham Marsden
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"how can you be *certain* that an on-line poker is genuine?"

There's an old saying: If you sit down at a poker table and you can't spot the sucker, it's you!

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NASA: 'Asteroid armageddon less likely than we feared'

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

So...

... the USA and Russia simultaneously detonated huge nuclear bombs...?

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Boffins prove Queen ballad 'world's most catchy song'

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Hold a chicken in the air...

... stick a deckchair up your nose...!

(What do you mean, you don't remember Spitting Image? Kids these days...)

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Logitech fined for bogus bug-busting keyboard ad

Graham Marsden
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Coat

"Self sanitizing phone"

What? And put all those Telephone Sanitizers out of a job (and onto the B-Ark)...?!

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Boffins invent miracle pill that counteracts effects of booze

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

So...

... you take a pill to stop you feeling drunk, so you can drink more and, whoops, goodbye liver...!

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WTF is... HbbTV?

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Up

@AC

Telesoftware actually started in 1983, although it wasn't until several years later that I acquired the teletext decoder for my BBC Model B :-)

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Aussie parrots hit the sauce and hit the deck

Graham Marsden
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Pint

Strewth mate...

... I had a hangover yesterday and felt as sick as a parrot...!

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Reebok used 'very fit woman' in buttock-related deception

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

What...?!

You mean that when adverts for fitness gimmicks show incredibly toned and muscled athletic types demonstrating the products those people *didn't* get their bodies from simply using that product but actually do a lot of *other* exercise *and* eat properly?

My illusions are shattered...!

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Schoolteachers can't teach our kids to code, say engineers

Graham Marsden
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Or do like I did...

... I learned 6502 assembler on the BBC Micro by initially using Exmon to hack games for infinite lives!

(Of course these days kids don't play vertically/ horizontally scrolling shoot-em-ups, don't know they're born, mutter, mutter...)

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Chocolate weighed in Schwarzeneggers: Official

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Any noun in the English language...

... can be verbed!

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Gutsy golf-club granny collars crim in Flying Squad bust

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Hmm...

"... so what do you think, Jenkins, should I choose a 1 Wood for hitting power or a 7 iron for more precise control?"

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Veggies tricked into dating meat-gobbling escorts

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Down

There are a whole bunch of similar sites...

... on Failbook offering dates according to whatever "targetted" information it can dredge out of your personal preferences.

Like Salsa Dancing? Join Salsa Dance Dating!

Like Real Ale? Join Real Ale Drinking Girls!

Like Computers? Too bad, sunshine!

Of course you have to pay to join and there's no guarantee that they'll actually find someone in your town/ country/ continent who's interested in the same thing...

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Poll: Porn-watching, net-savvy kids are a myth

Graham Marsden
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Happy

@Simon Harris

Of course what was even better was when a mate's dad ran a newsagent and there was an occasional bit of "stock shrinkage"...

... erm allegedly...

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Should your system offer Mr, Ms ... and Mx?

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Up

On an application form...

... a friend filled in recently, the options were Male/ Female/ Other which whilst not perfect is at least a reasonable attempt.

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Power cut knocks Miliband off-air mid-speech

Graham Marsden
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Black Helicopters

Labour's plans to license journalists...

"Say things we like, or we take away your licence..."

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Internet fails to dethrone TV news (so far)

Graham Marsden
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Happy

I get all my news from...

... The Register!

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Virtual cloud monkeys go bananas writing Shakespeare

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Orphan works...?

I hope he doesn't end up getting sued by Google...

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Drinking alcohol wards off asthma

Graham Marsden
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Pint

@Thomas 4

Erm, you might want to check the origin and meaning of Akvavit, Uisge Baugh, Vodka, Aqua Vitae...

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NASA to trial laser-powered space broadband

Graham Marsden
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Black Helicopters

What...?!

NASA are building space-based lasers to beam signals down to the planet...??

Where's my tin-foil hat?!?!

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Ancient auto: still running, up for sale

Graham Marsden
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Coat

1850s Conestoga Wagon & similar era Buckboard

"No, Ma'am, I said *buck* board, but as the saying has it: 'a ride for a ride'..."

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Google lets newsmakers tag favourite stories

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

BREAKING NEWS!!!

[Insert micro-celebrity's name here] was photographed doing [insert mildly scandalous or salacious tittle-tattle here] along with [Insert another micro-celebrity's name here] last [day/ week/ month/ year]

This is obviously *SUCH* important news that it *MUST* take priority over everything else because we say so!!!

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Google Wallet and PayPal in electro-purse war

Graham Marsden
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Coat

So...

.... handbags at dawn, then...?

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Brits registering .uk domains mostly get first choice

Graham Marsden
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@Ru

Are you in the legal profession? It certainly sounds like it to me, because you seem to be in favour of a system that is designed to give lots of money to lawyers.

When I set up my business on the web I decided to go for .co.uk because that was the most appropriate suffix being a UK company, not realising that world+dog (especially in the USA) would go for .com even if it wasn't appropriate for them.

So now there's a .com version of my domain which I'd like to get, but it's sitting parked, doing nothing because some greedy company wants $3000 for it, an amount that I'm not willing to pay (even if I could afford it given the current state of the economy) and neither am I willing to fork out similar amounts to register a trademark and then try to fight through the long and convoluted process of proving that I am entitled to that domain because either way I'd end up losing money.

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