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* Posts by Graham Marsden

4741 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Lightsabres to illuminate Christmas dinner

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Twenty six quid...

... for a candlestick?!

And you can't even use them as a cheese knife...!

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Survey: Most TV viewers surf while they watch

Graham Marsden
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Radio with occasional pictures...

I know exactly what you mean. So much of what appears on TV these days (especially what passes as "documentary") has images simply because, well, it's TV, you've got to have pictures, but they don't actually *add* anything to what you're hearing.

Oh, BTW, I'm writing this reply whilst "watching" (or listening to) Mock the Week on Sky+ :-)

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Can general relativity explain the OPERA neutrino result?

Graham Marsden
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Happy

One of my favourite quotes...

... From Isaac Asimov:

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but rather, 'Hmm... that's funny...'"

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Gas bill climbed £13,000 after correct online reading given

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

"a useful service for people who...

"...wanted to give themselves a heart attack!"

There, fixed it!

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'Hey, Tories, who knows what a nontrepreneur is?’

Graham Marsden
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I thought...

... Parties traditionally hosted their conferences to give their members a couple of days at the seaside.

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Gov to spread mobile masts to remote corners of Blighty

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@Just Thinking

And, just the same, having mobile phone coverage is a convenience. You can go to somewhere where there is a landline or payphone if you want to call someone, there is no obligation for anyone to supply a signal for your convenience.

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Graham Marsden
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WTF?

@Just Thinking

*Why* should it be a "legal requirement for the phone companies to provide 100% coverage"? That's like saying it should be a "legal requirement" for Company X to have a store in my town!

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Graham Marsden
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@Just Thinking

And if you're out in the middle of nowhere and need to call for help, would you suddenly decide that that £150m was money well spent...?

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Mozilla to Firefox users: Ditch crashtastic McAfee plugin

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

@PS

But they're glad I upvoted your post!

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Europe to launch bold Sun swoop mission

Graham Marsden
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So are Disaster Area playing The Earth...?

"Ship locked into stage computer A-OK. Stand by for Sun Dive."

Mine's the one with the Electronic sub-etha Thumb in the pocket...

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Security by obscurity not so bad after all, argues prof

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

"make it harder to reverse engineer"

Harder, yes, impossible no.

A little story: Many years ago I and friends used to crack copy protection on games on the BBC Micro so we could hack the code for infinite lives etc (not to actually *copy* the games of course, because that's *theft* doncherknow...!)

As time went on the protection got harder and more intricate, culminating in a version which Exclusive-Or-ed a bit-stream from the cassette (yes, games came on cassette tapes years ago, boys and girls!) against the timer such that any attempt to break into it would change the reading on the timer and thus render the code garbage and pressing the "Break" key would just wipe the memory.

Of course as soon as we realised this, we figured there was a simple bypass by taking out the chip with the OS on it (yes, a chip with the *whole* OS!) copying it and re-blowing it onto an EPROM but without the code that wiped the memory.

So we could then load the game, press Break and save the memory giving us full access to the code which we could hack to our hearts' content.

In other words we found a flaw in Security by Obscurity which, once breached, made all the Security completely redundant.

The moral of this story is that Security by Obscurity will make life harder for those who want to get their hands on the code, but unless you have something else in there as well, once it's breached, your code is wide open.

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Premier League loses footie decoder case

Graham Marsden
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@dms05

But she is not showing games "For Gain"! Now if she was charging an entry fee on the door, that would be "for gain", but she's offering them for *free* and anyone coming into the pub can buy a drink if they want, just as they could before, however that has nothing to do with the football.

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Graham Marsden
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"she's attempting to fleece the rights holder to make money."

As opposed to the Rights Holders who are attempting to fleece *everyone* to maximise their profits?

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Facebook: 'We didn't patent stalking logged-off users'

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Or, to put it more succinctly...

... Facebook is Watching You!

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Microsoft updates Hotmail to deal with grey spam

Graham Marsden
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"as a result of having signed up on a legitimate website"

Or as a result of that "legitimate website" automatically opting you in to a newsletter without asking you, or because a site you *did* sign up to then sells your details on to a site which you *didn't* sign up to, or as a result of some spammer using your e-mail address in their list which then gets harvested by another list or by...

In other words if I, personally, didn't sign up to it willingly and knowingly, then I reserve the right to call it spam!

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Facebook games teach teens bad habits

Graham Marsden
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Childcatcher

OMG!!!

THERE'S PEEDOS EVERYWHERE!!!!!

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22,000 'freetards' escape Hurt Locker piracy suit

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Err, WTF???

"22,000 Freetards escape Hurt Lock piracy suit" says your headline, but then you go on to say that "90 per cent of the file sharers caught up in the Hurt Locker downloading case dismissed"

This tends to imply that (certainly in this case) they aren't "Freetards" because they *didn't* actually download something and then try to justify infringing someone else's copyright )or, at least there's no proof that would hold up in court).

Or does using any file sharing service now automatically mean that you're a "Freetard" no matter what you share??

Not impressive, El Reg.

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UK punters happy to pay £3 to top up e-wallets

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

"paying nothing wasn't an option"

In other words, the survey was rigged to *only* get an answer of "how much are you willing to pay?" not "are you willing to pay at all?".

I'm sure if there was a "paying nothing" option, that would by far have outstripped all other options.

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Final insult for Full Tilt as Channel Islands kill its licence

Graham Marsden
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"how can you be *certain* that an on-line poker is genuine?"

There's an old saying: If you sit down at a poker table and you can't spot the sucker, it's you!

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NASA: 'Asteroid armageddon less likely than we feared'

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

So...

... the USA and Russia simultaneously detonated huge nuclear bombs...?

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Boffins prove Queen ballad 'world's most catchy song'

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Hold a chicken in the air...

... stick a deckchair up your nose...!

(What do you mean, you don't remember Spitting Image? Kids these days...)

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Logitech fined for bogus bug-busting keyboard ad

Graham Marsden
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"Self sanitizing phone"

What? And put all those Telephone Sanitizers out of a job (and onto the B-Ark)...?!

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Boffins invent miracle pill that counteracts effects of booze

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

So...

... you take a pill to stop you feeling drunk, so you can drink more and, whoops, goodbye liver...!

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WTF is... HbbTV?

Graham Marsden
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@AC

Telesoftware actually started in 1983, although it wasn't until several years later that I acquired the teletext decoder for my BBC Model B :-)

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Aussie parrots hit the sauce and hit the deck

Graham Marsden
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Pint

Strewth mate...

... I had a hangover yesterday and felt as sick as a parrot...!

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Reebok used 'very fit woman' in buttock-related deception

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

What...?!

You mean that when adverts for fitness gimmicks show incredibly toned and muscled athletic types demonstrating the products those people *didn't* get their bodies from simply using that product but actually do a lot of *other* exercise *and* eat properly?

My illusions are shattered...!

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Schoolteachers can't teach our kids to code, say engineers

Graham Marsden
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Or do like I did...

... I learned 6502 assembler on the BBC Micro by initially using Exmon to hack games for infinite lives!

(Of course these days kids don't play vertically/ horizontally scrolling shoot-em-ups, don't know they're born, mutter, mutter...)

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Chocolate weighed in Schwarzeneggers: Official

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Any noun in the English language...

... can be verbed!

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Gutsy golf-club granny collars crim in Flying Squad bust

Graham Marsden
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Hmm...

"... so what do you think, Jenkins, should I choose a 1 Wood for hitting power or a 7 iron for more precise control?"

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Veggies tricked into dating meat-gobbling escorts

Graham Marsden
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There are a whole bunch of similar sites...

... on Failbook offering dates according to whatever "targetted" information it can dredge out of your personal preferences.

Like Salsa Dancing? Join Salsa Dance Dating!

Like Real Ale? Join Real Ale Drinking Girls!

Like Computers? Too bad, sunshine!

Of course you have to pay to join and there's no guarantee that they'll actually find someone in your town/ country/ continent who's interested in the same thing...

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Poll: Porn-watching, net-savvy kids are a myth

Graham Marsden
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Happy

@Simon Harris

Of course what was even better was when a mate's dad ran a newsagent and there was an occasional bit of "stock shrinkage"...

... erm allegedly...

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Should your system offer Mr, Ms ... and Mx?

Graham Marsden
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On an application form...

... a friend filled in recently, the options were Male/ Female/ Other which whilst not perfect is at least a reasonable attempt.

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Power cut knocks Miliband off-air mid-speech

Graham Marsden
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Black Helicopters

Labour's plans to license journalists...

"Say things we like, or we take away your licence..."

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Internet fails to dethrone TV news (so far)

Graham Marsden
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Happy

I get all my news from...

... The Register!

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Virtual cloud monkeys go bananas writing Shakespeare

Graham Marsden
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Orphan works...?

I hope he doesn't end up getting sued by Google...

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Drinking alcohol wards off asthma

Graham Marsden
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Pint

@Thomas 4

Erm, you might want to check the origin and meaning of Akvavit, Uisge Baugh, Vodka, Aqua Vitae...

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NASA to trial laser-powered space broadband

Graham Marsden
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Black Helicopters

What...?!

NASA are building space-based lasers to beam signals down to the planet...??

Where's my tin-foil hat?!?!

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Ancient auto: still running, up for sale

Graham Marsden
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1850s Conestoga Wagon & similar era Buckboard

"No, Ma'am, I said *buck* board, but as the saying has it: 'a ride for a ride'..."

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Google lets newsmakers tag favourite stories

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

BREAKING NEWS!!!

[Insert micro-celebrity's name here] was photographed doing [insert mildly scandalous or salacious tittle-tattle here] along with [Insert another micro-celebrity's name here] last [day/ week/ month/ year]

This is obviously *SUCH* important news that it *MUST* take priority over everything else because we say so!!!

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Google Wallet and PayPal in electro-purse war

Graham Marsden
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So...

.... handbags at dawn, then...?

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Brits registering .uk domains mostly get first choice

Graham Marsden
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@Ru

Are you in the legal profession? It certainly sounds like it to me, because you seem to be in favour of a system that is designed to give lots of money to lawyers.

When I set up my business on the web I decided to go for .co.uk because that was the most appropriate suffix being a UK company, not realising that world+dog (especially in the USA) would go for .com even if it wasn't appropriate for them.

So now there's a .com version of my domain which I'd like to get, but it's sitting parked, doing nothing because some greedy company wants $3000 for it, an amount that I'm not willing to pay (even if I could afford it given the current state of the economy) and neither am I willing to fork out similar amounts to register a trademark and then try to fight through the long and convoluted process of proving that I am entitled to that domain because either way I'd end up losing money.

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Graham Marsden
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WTF?

@Ru

So, you have a choice, pay the Domain Squatter (sorry, holding service) a few grand for the domain or spend a few grand registering a trademark and going through an ownership dispute...

Sounds like lose/ lose to me.

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Faster-than-light back with surprising CERN discovery

Graham Marsden
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Maybe...

... the Neutrinos just took a short cut...

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Yoof survey: 'Internet as vital as air'

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

When I were a lad...

*WHOOOP* *WHOOOP* *WHOOOP*

FOUR YORKSHIREMEN SKETCH WARNING!

*WHOOOP* *WHOOOP* *WHOOOP*

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Brit ISPs shift toward rapid pirate website blocking

Graham Marsden
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Devil

Great...

... so protecting the profits (and bonuses) of the multi-million pound international music and film industry by allowing them to demand that sites that they say are infringing their copyrights be closed *immediately* is *so* much more important than protecting small businesses from unjustified take-downs because someone posted something which, allegedly, infringes copyright on Friday evening and it won't be until Monday morning that they find out that their site has been down over the weekend as they didn't instantly jump to delete the offending post when the industry said they should.

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Facebook 'personal' news feed gets algorithm rejig

Graham Marsden
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Devil

Once again...

... Failbook decides what it thinks is important *for* you!

For certain values of "important"...

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GM OnStar cars will upload all data unless owners opt out

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

"eCall...

"...will also put a mobile phone into every car in Europe"

Great! So if you have a crash and you were using your mobile, it's ok because eCall put it in there, so it *must* be ok to use!

Oh, BTW, "if you want to travel anonymously after 2015 then best get yourself an (eCall-exempted) motorcycle", that's all well and good, but the EU wants to add a whole load of "safety" requirements to motorbikes like compulsory ABS, banning *any* modifications to engines, gearbox, sprockets etc (basically anything between the airbox and up to and including the rear wheel!), the possibility of roadside emission checks by Police etc, they could also end up emulating the current rules the French are trying to enforce where bikers are to be made to wear full sleeve hi-viz jackets because it's obviously *their* fault that drivers didn't see them!

MAG are organising a country-wide protest on Sunday the 25th so bikers can demonstrate exactly what they think of these proposals see http://www.mag-uk.org/en/campaignsdetail/a6883 for more details and if you're on the M27 Rownhams Services eastbound on Sunday, I'll see you there :-)

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1-in-3,200 chance* that a fiery satellite chunk will hit someone on Friday

Graham Marsden
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Pirate

Insurance...

... Certainly, Sir, I'll sell you this fantastic anti-satellite insurance policy.

If you're killed by a fragment of satellite I'll pay you one million pounds on personal application...

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Capital gets trendy address: .London on its way

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

"CentralNic...

"...has been aggressively pursuing new opportunities to keep businesses paying and paying for more and more domains which they don't need and don't want, but are going to have to register simply to stop someone else from squatting on them..."

There, fixed it for you!

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Schmidt ducks antitrust questions lobbed from Congress

Graham Marsden
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Devil

Do no evil...

... or if you do, don't get caught...!

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