* Posts by Graham Marsden

5275 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Ludicrously lucky teen survives spear through brain

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

If it was his friend hit by this...

... it would probably have missed his brain by three feet.

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Top US Senator to Apple, Google: 'Curb your spy planes'

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

"intelligence that could aid terrorists"

Well, were the Senator to actually *use* some intelligence he'd probably realise that he might as well piss up a rope for all the good that it will do him.

His plan makes as much sense as all those Jobsworth "Community Support Officers" etc trying to stop tourists from taking pictures of London landmarks.

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Whitehall goes to White House for advice on 'ID assurance' plans

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

OIX?

Pronounced "Oiks"?

Oik : "a member of the lower classes" - en.wiktionary.org/wiki/oik

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Facebook shells out $10m for using users faces in adverts

Graham Marsden
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Pirate

I'm going to change my FB user pic...

... now should I use the one with my trousers around my ankles and bending over? Or perhaps the one holding the sign saying "Facebook Sucks"? Or maybe...

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'Jogobot' lures lonely lardies

Graham Marsden
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Terminator

Run, Fleshy one...

... RUN!

Oops, have you had a heart attack? Mwahahaha!

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America's X-37B top-secret spaceplane returns to Earth

Graham Marsden
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Terminator

Or maybe...

... it was refusing to obey the orders of the weak fleshy ones...!

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Mystery buyer scoops working Apple 1 at auction

Graham Marsden
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Coat

'Jobs signed off the neon...

'...with a Buddhist phrase "gate gate paragate parasangate bodhi svahdl"'

A neon? I hope he achieved enlightenment then.

(And, yes, I know this should have been sent as a correction because someone probably let auto-correct do the work for them, but the pun was too good to resist!)

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Supreme Court dismisses Assange bid to reopen extradition case

Graham Marsden
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@Ben Tasker

"there's a common saying that innocent men don't run"

Yes, and it's as much BS as "If you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear."

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

You don't have to PROVE your innocence!

The law says you are PRESUMED to be innocent UNLESS and UNTIL you are PROVEN guilty!

But that's not good enough for some people...

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May 2012 was second warmest on record. The warmest? 2010

Graham Marsden
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@Ken Hagen

"How do you propose to apply the methods of experimental science to the current climate without taking any readings of current weather?"

Did I say that? Err, no.

Neither did I say that they were entirely unconnected. I am aware that Climate is Weather measured over a long period, unfortunately some people seem to think that just because we've had the wettest/ driest/ suniest/ whatever week on record that that means something.

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Graham Marsden
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Boffin

For those who need reminding...

... Weather != Climate

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Asteroid zips past Earth

Graham Marsden
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Mushroom

/me

ducks. Phew! That was a close one...

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'Scientists' seek to set world social, economic, tech policy at Rio+20

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Type 2 Diabetes is "people's fault"?

Try telling that to Billie-Jean King, winner of more tennis titles than I can remember, stil active and definitely not obese, yet she has Type 2 diabetes.

Yep, the truth definitely hurts.

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Scots council: 9-yr-old lunch blogger was causing 'distress and harm'

Graham Marsden
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The council have just backed down...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-18454800

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Home Office spunks another £12.8m on face recog tech

Graham Marsden
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Paris Hilton

Facial recognition?

Yep, that's definitely a face! Can I have my £12.8, please

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Facebook changes data-use policy despite 87% poll opposition

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Re: FB can push as many ads at me as they like..

I can look at the right hand side of the screen too, but I don't see anything since I installed AdBlock Plus!

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Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Invidious Aardvark

It's clear that you don't run a business either.

One complaint may be a lone nutcase, ten complaints suggests that there's actually going to be a *lot* more people out there who aren't happy, but haven't put finger to keyboard to say so., however none the less that should most certainly set alarm bells ringing and not simply generate an attitude of "well, it's only a few people, let's just ignore them" because if (and when) they're offered a better alternative, they're likely to desert your business in droves.

Your understanding of how such things work is weak.

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@JDX

Maybe one day you'll run a company and realise that if you piss off enough of your customers by ignoring what they want and saying "Dear customers, we don't give a fuck what you think!", they'll go somewhere else and you won't *have* a company any more.

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Music SEVEN times more valuable to UK plc than first thought

Graham Marsden
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Devil

Re: dont forget

And every time you copy a song a fairy dies!

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Smart meters are 'massive surveillance' tech - privacy supremo

Graham Marsden
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@Larry F54

"I'm surprised. I thought most washing machines (as well as dishwashers) these days had built-in delay timers."

Not the one I've got and to replace it would just be more wasteful.

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Graham Marsden
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Re: But moving to a different time is useful

I used to "time shift" my laundry, I'd put washing in at night and set a time switch on the plug so the appliance would come on early in the morning and would be finished by the time I woke up (the machine being right at the other end of my house from my bedroom).

However now I can't do that because on my new machine there's no mechanical "on-off" button which will let me leave it "switched on" but with nothing happening until the time switch on the plug activates it, just a "soft touch" button which needs pressing before anything happens.

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Blighty's new anti-bribe law will do more HARM than good

Graham Marsden
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Re: Oh for god's sake

"If it's not acceptable over here then don't do it over there either. "

It's all very well saying "play a straight bat, keep it above board, don't play their dirty games", but, especially in the current economic climate, the vast majority of businesses are going to play whatever games they can and by whatever rules are available in order to clinch a contract.

You don't like it, I don't like it, but the other option is risking bankruptcy.

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W3C: 'Do not track' by default? A thousand times: NO!

Graham Marsden
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Devil

"We have noticed...

"... that you appear to have switched off an important feature of your browser which will enable us to enhance your customer experience and provide you with a better service.

"You can proceed, however you will not get the full benefit of our website, so please click here to switch it back on..."

(Website announcement that fell through a wormhole from a couple of years in the future)

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Menaced cartoonist raises $60,000 for copywrong

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

"You seem to be trolling"?

Paging Mr Pott and Mr Kettle-Black...

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Hardy handymen handed handy hardened handheld hardware

Graham Marsden
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Re: Better, Reg Headline Dept.

I didn't even read the article, I just loved the sub-heading!

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China makes human rights play ... but forgets the internet

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

"Human Rights are...

"... what WE say you can have..."

Sorry, which country were we talking about again?

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Western consumption helping to kill off species

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Does anyone else think...

... that map from the University of Sydney looks a bit like the board game Pandemic?

Just sayin' ;-)

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Fate of dot-word bids decided by ICANN archery shoot-out

Graham Marsden
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Devil

"notable domain name investor Frank Schilling"

"domain name investor"?

I'm sure there's another name for that...

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Raspberry Pi IN THE SKY: Wallet-sized PC is disaster drone brain

Graham Marsden
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Happy

Re: Depends

Remember the old saying:

"He who dies with most toys, wins!"

This fulfills that nicely :-)

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Raspberry Pi safe and warm in TINY Lego fortress

Graham Marsden
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Re: "More child friendly"

Well at least *one* person (ie me!) realised you were being satirical...!

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HBO wants royal price for Iron Throne

Graham Marsden
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Yep...

... me too.

Ok, it looks cool, but, as always, the realiy doesn't match up.

20 grand? I'll pass.

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GCHQ to encrypt your tweets with Enigma - for science

Graham Marsden
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Pirate

Re: Well, you know what they say...

jwiaz pwmql !

Pistols at dawn, Sir!

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Given a beardie nerd the kiss of life? There's a medal for that

Graham Marsden
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Devil

Will the BOFH...

... be up for this award...?!

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LOHAN seeks failsafe for explosive climax

Graham Marsden
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Paris Hilton

"premature pin retraction"

That could get messy...

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Facebook testing "announce important post" feature

Graham Marsden
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THIS IS AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

Actually it isn't, but you can look forward to lots of these from idiots who think that their every status update is the most important thing ever...

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1930s photos show Greenland glaciers retreating faster than today

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

"Box theorises that this is likely to be...

"...because of sulphur pollution released into the atmosphere by humans"

So what you're saying is that mankind's activites *DO* have an effect on the climate...?

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Google aiming to buy dot-lol cyberland, and not just for the lulz of it

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Re: Personally...

Not .dash?

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EU politicos put the boot into sickly ACTA

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

"we must not accept...

"...nor can we allow the erosion of basic fundamental rights in Europe, and around the world, for expediency's sake"

Unless you're the British Government...

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Scandal-hit Olympus plans to axe staff, flog off stake – reports

Graham Marsden
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Pirate

I read that title as "Olympics"...

... and thought "good!"

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Friends fooled by Facebook Timeline 'removal tool' scams

Graham Marsden
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Mushroom

"Security is a top priority for Facebook..."

But listening to what our users want isn't.

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Trekkie wants to build USS Enterprise … in twenty years

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Let's hope...

... he remembers to include the Toilet...!

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TiVo spits out monster 6-way Pace box for US eyes only

Graham Marsden
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Re: Six?!

In the past week I've had at least three occasions when I've wanted to record something from eg History, National Geographic and then maybe E4 or BBC4 or some such at the same time, but even with using the +1 channels, there have been clashes/ overlaps with other things I want to see, so I've had to resort to looking through the Radio Times for repeats of the programme either in the wee small hours of the morning or on different days which is a PITA.

I've currently got about half my Sky+ HDD (I replaced the original with one that was twice the size a long time ago) filled with documentaries, shows like Game of Thrones, Bones, Big Bang Theory Dara o'Briain's School of Hard Maths and more which are definitely worth watching, it's just a matter of finding time to watch them all before something else comes along I want to see...!

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Fantasy cabal sells off novel-as-app platform

Graham Marsden
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Black Helicopters

@This isn't USENET

There is *never* a Cabal...!

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WTF is... Li-Fi?

Graham Marsden
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"Sorry, my bad, didn't see you"

Which really means "Sorry, I didn't *LOOK* properly..."!

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Mars rover Opportunity spots WALL-E in crater ramble

Graham Marsden
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Coat

But...

... is there Life on Mars?

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Met cops get new pocket-sized fingerprint scanners

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

"The police said...

"...fingerprints scanned by MobileID kit are not retained after the check has been run."

Yet...

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Google warns against ISPs hard on web filth

Graham Marsden
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Megaphone

Won't Someone Think of the Parents!

How *DARE* these Porn Merchants expect Parents to take responsibility for the upbringing of their children!

How *RIDICULOUS* to expect people to have to *install* new software on their computers in order to block this filth!

Don't they know that the interwebs are just the latest form of childminding as TV and Videos and DVDs have been before and it's the job of the Government and the Broadcasters and the Programme Makers to ensure that little kiddies don't see anything that might disturb them!!

I am ABSOLUTELY FLABBERGHASTED that anyone could believe things like this and I shall be writing to my MP in the *STRONGEST* terms right after my nurse gives me my medicine!!!

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Does Britain really need a space port?

Graham Marsden
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Or a Douglas Adams quote:

"Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans."

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Iran threatens to chuck sueball at Google over missing gulf

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Re: Pretty Dumb

"most people know how to pronounce 'Bristol'"

Well, no, they *think* they know how to pronounce it, but it's actually more correctly pronounced "Bristle" (at least by the locals ;-) )

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Twitter signs up for Do Not Track

Graham Marsden
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Coat

So Twitter is going for...

... NoFollow...?

Doesn't that rather defeat the purpose of it?

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