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* Posts by Graham Marsden

4742 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Hackers mistake French rugby site for German stock exchange

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Epic...

... FAIL!

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Beijing to get free Wi-Fi with obvious strings attached

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

"trace those whose online activity might endanger social security"

ITTM "trace those whose online activity might endanger the positions of a bunch of arrogant and corrupt despotic dictators who know that they will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes...!"

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Shale gas operations triggered Blackpool tremors

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Frak me...

... has nobody made the obligatory Battlestar Galactica reference yet...?

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Record flight is step toward HYPERSONIC SPACE AIRSHIP

Graham Marsden
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Alien

Dark Skies...

... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0115151/

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UK cops must justify using new mobile interception tech

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

@Thats ok then

Yep, let's hear it for Weasel Clauses! "You have these rights, apart from the times when we decide that you shouldn't be allowed them"

"When's that?"

"Oh, whenever we feel like it..."

This is what worries me about the idea of this country having a written Constitution, it's a great idea, but unless rights are stated as absolutes, this sort of weaseling means that rights are only granted at the behest of the state and can be taken away at their whim :-(

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UK biz: Fax us and explain what this cloud thing is

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Down

I have a fax machine...

... in fact the exact same one shown in your image, *with* the same stickers on it!

And you know what? It works! Why the hell would I, running a one-man business, need to faff around with (let alone pay for) "clouds", smartphones, fondle slabs or any other such "OMG it's shiny, we have to have it!" nonsense?

As for "there is a real business need for these solutions", whose business is this, exactly? Mine, or the people trying to flog the stuff?

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Top GCHQ spook warns of 'disturbing' levels of cyber-raids

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

So...

... more pork and empire building, then...

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This weekend: First ever iPADS IN SPAAAACE

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

I hate to think...

... what their bill for roaming charges will be like...!

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Zimbabwean claims prostitute turned into donkey

Graham Marsden
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Happy

There should have been a clue when....

... she said her name was Jenny!

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Credit card companies plan to sell your purchase data to advertisers

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Down

@jake

"I can get anything I will ever need in life within a two hour's round-trip from where I sit as I type"

Do you have nothing better to do than spend a couple of hours driving to buy something when, instead, you could get it with a few clicks of a mouse?

And how much petrol (or diesel) do you burn whilst doing that? And how much does that item cost? Are you really willing to spend extra time and money buying something from someone with a steady gaze and a firm handshake (something which any con-man worth his salt naturally practices carefully) when you can get it cheaper and more easily and delivered to your door just so you can avoid using cards?

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Google report reveals YouTube takedown requests... by country

Graham Marsden
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Unhappy

@Jonski

And I was just about to upvote you for what seemed to be an amusing post...!

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TomTom Go Live TopGear Edition

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@Grease Monkey

So TomTom gives you the ability to report map errors, but instead of doing so (by activating the button that lets you record the position of a map error), you choose, instead, to bitch about the fact that it's *their* responsibility to fix the mistakes.

Of course given that you won't *tell* them where the mistakes are...

BTW You might try installing TomTom Home on your PC, in which case you can connect your Sat Nav up to it, click on the button that runs a simulation of the device on screen and then access the locations of the map errors and type in details from your keyboard at your convenience.

Technology, it's wonderful if you actually try using it properly...

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Scot.gov plots its own superintranet

Graham Marsden
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Flame

"A Scottish Government team...

"... has met with cabinet officials to discuss the reviews of major contracts and to share what they have learned."

And found out that a) politicians cannot write a sensible contract or bring in a project on time or on budget, but b) that doesn't matter because a few years down the line there'll be a lucrative directorship available...

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Google dumps + from Boolean search tool

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

@Christoph

Surely that's ++ungood :-)

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Last mystery of first recorded supernova laid to rest

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

"White Dwarfs...

... "go thermonuclear"

Erm, so what were they doing beforehand...?

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Linehan turns IT Crowd off but NOT on again

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Fortunately...

... The Big Bang Theory is still going strong.

Probably something to do with it actually being funny...

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Facebook flashplodders lose appeal against 4-yr jail stint

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@Titus Technophobe

Ah, now you're trying to use me as a scapegoat for your failure to understand what an ad hominem argument is.

Feel free to have the last word, I've wasted enough time on this.

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Graham Marsden
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@Titus Technophobe

Your whole post boils down to one single point: "if it addresses these attitudes [...] ‘pour encourager les autres’"

If you're not aware, the origin of that comment was in Voltaire's Candide and was in reference to the execution of Admiral John Byng for failing to relieve the beseiged British Garrison at Minorca

Byng was effectively made a scape-goat for the British Government and Admiralty's failure to do *their* job properly by a) not acting in time to deal with the expected French attack on Minorca and b) sending Byng out with ships that were undermanned and in a poor state of repair.

So you're looking to do pretty much the same, find a scapegoat to blame for *your* failures and if that requires locking them up for four years, well, that's not your problem, is it?

The fact that "make an example of them" sentences have been shown throughout history to be abject failures in dealing with the root causes of problems seems to be of no concern to you either.

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Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

@Titus Technophobe

Ah, right, so you're talking about a parenting failure.

Still, nice to see that, rather than learning from such mistakes (or, even better, teaching children a bit of common sense so they don't happen in the first place ) you're in favour of locking them up for four years instead.

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@Titus Technophobe

How do you "inadvertently" have "a Face book inspire party" held in your house?

I suggest you might look at de-friending a few idiots rather than demanding they get four year jail sentences!

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@These scrotes incite a riot

To paraphrase an old quote: "What if they gave a riot but nobody came?"

Not long after the recent riots, just down the road from me a party got out of hand with over 100 people turning up after word got out via Twatter etc.

The Police managed to herd them out of the side roads and contain them, but some drunken idiots "for a laugh" apparently started chanting "we're going to riot".

There was no riot, very little damage was caused, but should those idiots also get four year sentences?

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'Mental act' computerisations no longer automatically unpatentable

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

@AC

"my job involves teaching students to become programmers."

Hey, I've had a great idea for solving your coursework problem, so I'm going to patent it, then if anyone else comes up with the same solution I can sue them and pay off my student loans with *their* money!!

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Report: Hacking forum is a cybercrime academy

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

In other news...

... oh you know the rest.

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Domain registry touts dot-surnames for $500k

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Nothing says "wanker"...

... better than a personalised domain name!

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Libel reform vows to slay anonymous trolls

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

@Graham Dawson

'would you rather give people the power to have every post critical of, say, Orlowski removed from this site because it was "defamation"?'

Ah, but they never even get published in the first place if Andrew sees them first...!

(Bet this one won't either...)

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Nipples and teen lesbians sexy even when ironic, ASA rules

Graham Marsden
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Childcatcher

@Marvin the Martian

Regrettably, now, under one of the Thought Crime laws that Blair's minions brought in, "two girls [...] dressed in school uniform and [...] about to kiss" could be classed as kiddie porn since they're in school uniform, so it's possible to assume that they're under age.

What this does to St Trinian's films I don't know, but it's probably not good.

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Leo DiCaprio slated to play Turing in biopic

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Ironically...

... one of the things that helped Bletchley Park crack Enigma was when the Germans used three letter codes to initialise the rotor positions and often used HIT which was followed by, of course, LER for the encrypted message setting!

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Survey: '4 million' Brits stung by ID theft

Graham Marsden
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Unhappy

@"Investigate mail that goes missing"

Even if you *KNOW* something has gone missing because you sent it, the Post Office will just say "Fill in this form, send it to us and eventually, after you've allowed three weeks for it to turn up, fob you off with a letter saying 'if it is important you should pay extra for Recorded or Special Delivery and there's nothing else we can do'".

Been there, done that...

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Sesame Street YouTube page hijacked by smut pushers

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Up

@TRT

Curses, that was going to be my comment! :-)

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ICANN rescues time zone database

Graham Marsden
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Joke

I've just heard from the Catholic Church...

... who are claiming royalties from everyone for using the Gregorian Calendar...!

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iPad baby baffled by paper magazine

Graham Marsden
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Happy

@Tony Smith

To quote from The Ballad of Halo Jones, I think you mean "Increased Leisure Citizens" :-)

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Judge OKs warrantless tracking of suspect's cellphone

Graham Marsden
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@Old Handle

If they have legitimate grounds for tracing a phone call, then, just as with land lines, they can get a warrant to do so. But "Because we want to" coupled with a decision by an ignorant Judge aren't legitimate grounds.

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Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Reasonable expectation of privacy!

Just because the authorities *can* find the location of a phone in case of emergency, doesn't mean that they should automatically be allowed to do that with *any* phone at *any* time of their choosing without going through the required legal process.

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Graham Marsden
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WTF?

'interpretation of cellphone calls as “wire communications”'

Hasn't he heard of this clever modern invention called "wireless"?

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Winning new UK pylon design may never be used

Graham Marsden
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Mushroom

Only...

... once!

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Sixth of Britain's cellphones have traces of poo on them

Graham Marsden
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Coat

To quote the Hitch Hiker's Guide...

FORD:

”Golgafrincham Ark Fleet. Ship B. Hold Seven: Telephone Sanitizer, Second Class.” And a serial number!

ARTHUR:

”Telephone Sanitizer”? A dead telephone sanitizer?

FORD:

Best kind.

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Astronomy crowd spots PLANET KILLER!

Graham Marsden
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Coat

How disappointing...

... I was expecting them to say that they'd sighted a huge ship that was hiding in a pocket of hyperspace or maybe a suspicious looking extra moon...

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Fretting Googler retracts anti-Google+ rant

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

"he accidentally set the post to be available publicly"

And thus neatly demonstrated how stupid it is to post anything like this on a "social network".

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An ode to rent-a-nerds and cable monkeys

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

"Writing an article for El Reg...

"...takes between two hours and several weeks of research"

Or a few seconds to cut and paste from somewhere else and about five minutes to chuck in some extra comments...

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One in 10 Brits leaves web passwords in their will

Graham Marsden
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Pirate

What's the betting...

... that certain Providers will add (if they don't have already) a clause in their T&Cs which states that only *YOU* have the right to listen to the music or read the books etc you've downloaded and that, on death, the ownership rights revert to the Provider, so passing on your password to your wife or children is breaking the law (or will be when they've finished lobbying for it!)

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AOL demos the human-free datacenter

Graham Marsden
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Terminator

Surely...

... this should be under ROtM?

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ISPs end PM's web smut block dream

Graham Marsden
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@re: r18

"An r18 film is only allowed to be sold by a licensed sex shop."

True, for bricks and mortar shops, but it's also perfectly legal for you to buy such a film via the web from anywhere in Europe *except* the UK unless the UK seller has paid for a licence for their business to be classed as a sex shop even if it has no physical high-street presence!

Consequently you have UK suppliers who can legally make films which are not for sale in this country...

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Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@lotus49

I suggest you consider these two sentences from your post again:

1) "they are not trying to foist their ideas on anyone else."

2) "a quick trip to a children's clothes shop where sexy underwear for 9 year olds is on display may result in anyone reasonably wondering whether this is appropriate, Christian or not."

The point is they are not simply "reasonably wondering" if this is appropriate and then, if they decide for themselves that it is not, they won't buy such things for their children, they have already decided that it *is* appropriate and now consider that it is their duty to lobby the Government to impose that decision on everyone else, just as they have done with their desire for "opt in" porn.

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German states defend use of 'Federal Trojan'

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Or perhaps...

... someone said "Hey, how about we test if it can be picked up by lots of different virus scanners...!"

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Biker gang plunders Covent Garden Apple Store

Graham Marsden
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@Grease Monkey

Bike haunts? What, you mean like Loomies at the Junction of the A272 and the A32?

Try standing outside there and watch who gets on their bike and then thrashes off down one of those roads like a complete idiot.

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Graham Marsden
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WTF?

@Grease Monkey

Speaking also as a "middle-aged biker" and one who only passed his Direct Access four years ago, I'd just like to say: Nonsense!

It's not the "middle aged" ones I see trying to get their knee down on the A272, nor are they the ones carving across lanes of traffic on the motorway or doing stupid overtakes on blind bends and crossing double white lines or treating the chevron-ed dividing gap between two-way traffic as a "bikers only" lane which they can blast along at stupid speeds blithely trusting that no cager is going to obstruct their path...

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Boffins fear killer gamma death blasts from space

Graham Marsden
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Headmaster

@Jerry

How about you try looking a word up in a dictionary before you start slagging off others?

For instance, from the Free Online Dictionary "1. To lurch or swerve while in motion" and I think there would be plenty of lurching and swerving when two black holes came close together...

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Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

We're all DOOOOOOOOOOMMMEDDD!!!

(Again...)

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Smut oglers told to opt in to keep web filth flowing

Graham Marsden
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Childcatcher

@That'll work

Back in the 1980s, when the 0898 adult phone lines were in operation, it was decided to make access to those lines "opt in" so everyone, by default, was opted out and, if they wanted to phone those numbers, they had to contact BT and ask someone to switch on that feature.

Not surprisingly, the number of people phoning those number plummeted and the Operators of those legitimate businesses were almost driven to bankruptcy because of the censorship of their provision of perfectly legal content.

Fortunately sanity, at last, prevailed, and the default was switched to "opt out", but it's a salutary warning of what happens when Governments try to do something "For The Good Of the Children!"

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Laptop shoots spike into owner's hand

Graham Marsden
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Pirate

"What's this one, 'spring surprise'?"

"Ah - now, that's our speciality - covered with darkest creamy chocolate. When you pop it in your mouth steel bolts spring out and plunge straight through-both cheeks. "

Monty Python - Whizzo Chocolates sketch :-)

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