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* Posts by Graham Marsden

4913 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Apple’s Siri gets sweary with British child

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Many years ago...

... local computer shops would have demo programs which would ask you to input your name. Naturally nobody would think of inputting the name "Idiot" in and then scrolling the page so "press enter" was the only bit visible such that when enter was pressed, the presser would be greeted with "Hello Idiot!"

And certainly nobody would edit the list of words in a Basic Hangman program to add a fine selection of obscenities either...!

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ALIEN ARTIFACTS can best be FOUND ON MOON

Graham Marsden
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Happy

@Mike Flubennock

Ah, but The Sunday Sport went one better, not only did they have "WWII Bomber Found on Moon - Picture!" showing said bomber on the moon, but a bit later they had "WWII Bomber Disappears from Moon" with a picture showing where the bomber *used* to be!

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Japanese boffins crack arse-based ID recognizer

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

@Darryl

"Wonder if it could replace scanners at the airport some day"

Why not, after all, you pretty much have to bend over and drop your trousers already...!

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Hidden Dragon: The Chinese cyber menace

Graham Marsden
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@Steven Roper

And your taking a *single* word out of his (as you admit) sensible post and using it as a reason to claim that it invalidates the whole thing is why you have got a downvote.

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Blocking Twitter, Facebook during riots not such a hot idea - MPs

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

No shit, Sherlock icon...

... no post needed!

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Go Daddy boycott threat for backing hated anti-piracy law

Graham Marsden
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rejected != refuted

"Go Daddy's Jones has refuted this, writing last month: "

Refute: vb - Prove (a statement or theory) to be wrong or false; disprove.

Reject: vb - Dismiss as inadequate, inappropriate, or not to one's taste.

I see nothing in her statement that proves that it will not break DNSSEC except that she finds this "hard to imagine" (how much tech knowledge does a "General Counsel" have?)

As for "I have to believe that the average person doesn’t want to commit a crime", she complains about "rhetoric" and "regurgitated lobbying spin", yet she's doing exactly the same by parroting the words of the MPAA/ RIAA who are still trying to redefine the language by saying that people are "stealing" music because the media industry want to keep using an obsolete (but profitable to them) revenue model.

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Gerry turncoat Harvey gives gamers a deal

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Syndicated Facility Agreement...

or SFA for short...!

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Latest El Reg project: Rise of the Robot Sheep

Graham Marsden
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NAOMI

New Automated Optimised Mowing Invention

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Cops arrest cop in alleged corrupt cop-bung probe

Graham Marsden
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Congratulations, WPC Smith...

... you win the "Scapegoat of the Year" award!

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Graham Marsden
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@dephormation.org.uk

Yes, it reads "It's nothing to do with me, can I have another promotion, please..."

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Pluto's blushing complexion riddle solved by boffins

Graham Marsden
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Oh don't you lot start too!

- Luna

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Graham Marsden
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Megaphone

Any more trouble out of you lot and I'll be calling the Vogons!

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Smut baron buy-up of Vatican.xxx rumour exploded

Graham Marsden
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Happy

They're missing a trick...

... think of the market for all those nun-sploitation films!

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Deep-fried planets discovery offers hope for Earth’s future

Graham Marsden
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Mushroom

@Geoff Campbell

And some Factor 10,000,000 suncream...!

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Ofcom maps out what 'psychics' are allowed to do on TV

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

So...

... what about Songs of Praise?!

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Facebook shoves your face into creepy 'sponsored stories' in 2012

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

"we will gradually begin..."??

So how come I got a message saying that one of my friends had used an application when I know he'd been without an internet connection for a week?!

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Graham Marsden
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Devil

Or replace them...

... with a picture of someone bending over with their trousers around their ankles...!

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Public bodies told: Swapping data feels good, but you must be careful

Graham Marsden
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Nice, but...

... they forgot "Don't put it on unencrypted laptops or data sticks which get left on trains or in taxis and most certainly don't store it on CDs which you then send through the post!"

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Three more 'nauts prepare for space station housewarming

Graham Marsden
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@James Micalleft

TANSTAAFL!

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LOHAN fires up sizzling thruster

Graham Marsden
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Coat

"it's up to the Southampton Uni boys to tell us if they need more power"

"We need more thrust, Scotty!"

"I'm gie'in her all I've got, Cap'n!!"

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Bah, humbug! Virgin Media censors Charles D**kens

Graham Marsden
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Happy

@BigUglyDean...

... OUT!!

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Graham Marsden
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Happy

Not...

Twatt in the Orkneys?

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Graham Marsden
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@Panto Season

Oh yes she will...!

(Mine's the ones with the Buttons!)

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US gov split over new domain explosion

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

"totalitarian regimes...

"... that want to orchestrate a governmental takeover of internet regulation."

Well we don't know of any of those, do we, boys and girls?!

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Comet Lovejoy survives brush with fiery solar death

Graham Marsden
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Another word...

... Sundive!

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Jedi light-sabre beats Taser in Oregon parking-lot fracas

Graham Marsden
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@Ian Michael Gumby

Since you put the troll icon on your post, you save me the trouble of having to point the fact out.

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@Figgus

The Daily Mail readers are the ones who are saying "Damnit, just give them a good Tasering or beating, never did me any harm, teach them a lesson they won't forget, doncherknow!"

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Graham Marsden
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WTF?

@FrankAlphaXII

Oh, so 500 deaths "isn't too bad"?! I'm sure that'll be a great comfort to, say, the family of Robert Dziekański who died after being Tasered by Canadian Police, restrained, cuffed and *THEN* repeatedly Taserered *again*.

And if the cops in your "bad neighbourhood" were unable to effect an arrest without "beating the holy living shit out of you", the suggests that, given Tasers, they'd just Taser the "living holy shit out of you instead" and strikes me as a stunning lack of professionalism on their part (or a desire to be Judge, Jury and Executioner).

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Graham Marsden
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WTF?

@"If a police officer breaks official procedure"

"HE winds up in the clink instead of the perp"

Sure, just like the officers who killed Jean Charles de Menezes (and then lied about it) are now languishing in jail...

Or the ones who gave Rodney King a good kicking...

Or...

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Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@Nextweek and Audrey S.Thackery

Remember that the Taser is supposed to be a Non-Lethal (oops, I mean *less* lethal) alternative to using firearms yet, despite that, there have been around 500 deaths linked to Taser use, more than a few of which have been related to the target having using illegal narcotics.

Given that a plastic light-saber is not a deadly weapon, using a Taser in a situation like this was completely unnecessary and I don't see that as "minimising risk to the suspect".

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Google's Siri-a-like to be named 'Majel' after Trek actress

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Not without...

... a ouija board!

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Microsoft copies Google with silent browser updates

Graham Marsden
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Mushroom

...and no focus stealing either!

After the last lot of patches downloaded and installed, as usual Windows decided that what *it* was doing was more important than what I was doing and flashed up a message saying "You need to reboot", making that the active window.

Fortunately they've at least stopped auto-selecting the "Reboot Now" button with the result that if you're typing (as I was) and press Return at the wrong moment, you automatically reboot without having the chance to save what you're working on...

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Facebook won't deny it is sitting on huge mountain of cash

Graham Marsden
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Aha! They won't deny it, so it must be true!!!!

Dear me, El Reg, is that the best you can come up with?

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Comet Lovejoy spotted plunging toward fiery doom

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Set the controls...

... for the heart of the sun!

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CERN: 'New physics starts now'

Graham Marsden
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Coat

"If people still wore as many hats as formerly"...

... So are you saying that people aren't wearing enough hats?

With apologies to Python (Monty)

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FCC (finally) cracks down on BLARING! TV! ADS!

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Another simple solution...

... Everything I want to watch, I record on Sky+ consequently ad breaks are a matter of pressing the fast forward button and counting an appropriate number of seconds before I press play again.

Bingo, no noisy ads!

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Cosmic Cannonball snapped blazing a bloody trail of star guts

Graham Marsden
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@David D. Hagood

Damn, you beat me to it! :-)

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Jimbo Wales ponders Wikipedia blackout

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@Turtle

Would you like to buy a new Irony Detector? Yours seems to be broken.

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Beeb rescues old Who episodes

Graham Marsden
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Unhappy

Strewth mate...

... What a bunch of wowsers!

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Senators: Globo-domains could mean consumer chaos

Graham Marsden
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ICANN...

... make lots of money from this!

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Judge Dredd vs Zombies

Graham Marsden
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Re: Anti-hero?

Six months, creep!

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Graham Marsden
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Paying for top-ups...

Many years ago you could play games like Space Invaders and those which followed for one 10p coin, one play.

Then came games like Gauntlet where (unless you were incredibly skilled) you had to keep shoveling in coins in order to get further into the game (or not play, which I did).

This paying for top-ups is the same thing, writ on new technology.

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Google set to begin appeal against Italian guilty verdicts

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@JimC

Since you apparently need me to spell it out for you, please allow me to explain:

Firstly, it's clear that you don't run a business since, if you did, it would rapidly become bankrupt because trying to solve a problem like this by simply "employing a lot of people" would just be throwing money down the drain.

Secondly, you miss the fact, whilst it is, indeed, up to business to comply with the law, to try to make a global business compliant with *every* law, *everywhere* would be an even bigger waste of money and utterly futile.

I do run a business and supply products worldwide, but due to the adult nature of those products, they are not legal in certain countries. Now if someone from one of those countries chooses to order a product from me, should I be required to ascertain whether my product is legal under that country's laws or is the onus on the customer to ensure that they are not breaking that country's laws buy ordering it. You seem to think that the former is the case, even though I am breaking no laws in my country by selling the item. If I supply that person, should I be liable for arrest in their country?!

If Google were to accept the Italian ruling, then they would have to start censoring *everything* on Youtube and every search result and every g-mail to ensure that it didn't breach some country's laws which would be so monumentally expensive and so monumentally ridiculous that these flaws should be obvious.

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@JimC

"Employ a lot of people", I would laugh at this ironic joke, except it seems you appear to think that you're making a sensible and reasonable suggestion.

There again you also appear to think that "if their business model is predicated on ignoring the law and hoping it will go away, how is that the law's problem?" is a reasonable (and accurate) argument too.

Unfortunately both of these are fundamentally flawed in ways that are so obvious I can't even be bothered to point out the fallacies.

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Graham Marsden
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@Grease Monkey

Is the fact that the porn on YouTube gets taken down quickly because a) google spot it or b) other people spot it and complain?

In any case, the issue is not "is this porn or not" (which is reasonably easy to determine) but "is this illegal in some country somewhere in the world", which is not because that requires a much more subjective value judgement.

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Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@JimC and AC

According to Youtube (also owned by Google) somewhere between 24 and 48 hours of video are uploaded *EVERY MINUTE*!

How on earth do you expect them to pre-screen that much content and make sure that everything they see is acceptable in *every* country in the world???

(Oh, and as regards the the Post Office too. I *know* that letters are private, I simply chose that as an easy to understand example to point was that it is the sheer unfeasibility of checking that much content)

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Cops bust den of text-spam spewers

Graham Marsden
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After you forward them, but before you delete them...

... save the number in your phone's memory under "Spam" or "Junk" or similar.

That way the next time one comes from the same source, you can delete it without even wasting time reading it :-)

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Mythbusters cannonball ‘myth-fires’

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@laird cummings

If you'd done your homework (or even have read the article) you'd have noticed that they were a) testing the velocity they could get from a home made cannon, b) had water barrels *and* an earth berm behind them.

What appears to have gone wrong is that the velocity was much greater than they had anticipated, consequently the trajectory of the cannonball was too high, going over the water barrels and then skipping off the berm, causing it to be lofted towards the houses.

It's easy with hindsight to think that they should have aimed it with a lower trajectory etc, but given that the officials at the Alameda County Bomb Range let them fire it (which I doubt very much they'd have done if they thought this could happen) this is clearly just an unfortunate series of events rather than a lack of "homework".

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UK.gov uses Experian data to sniff out fraudsters

Graham Marsden
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@AC

And they've never accidentally linked the data of two unrelated people, nor denied someone credit based on what a previous occupant of that address did, nor mis-recorded data so that the details of someone with the same name affect your records...

Nope, this never happens...

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Graham Marsden
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@dephormation.org.uk

But don't you know we're now all presumed guilty unless we can prove our innocence!

Got something to hide...? Well, not any more!

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