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* Posts by Graham Marsden

4743 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Bah, humbug! Virgin Media censors Charles D**kens

Graham Marsden
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Happy

@BigUglyDean...

... OUT!!

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Graham Marsden
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Happy

Not...

Twatt in the Orkneys?

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Graham Marsden
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@Panto Season

Oh yes she will...!

(Mine's the ones with the Buttons!)

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US gov split over new domain explosion

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

"totalitarian regimes...

"... that want to orchestrate a governmental takeover of internet regulation."

Well we don't know of any of those, do we, boys and girls?!

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Comet Lovejoy survives brush with fiery solar death

Graham Marsden
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Another word...

... Sundive!

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Jedi light-sabre beats Taser in Oregon parking-lot fracas

Graham Marsden
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@Ian Michael Gumby

Since you put the troll icon on your post, you save me the trouble of having to point the fact out.

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@Figgus

The Daily Mail readers are the ones who are saying "Damnit, just give them a good Tasering or beating, never did me any harm, teach them a lesson they won't forget, doncherknow!"

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Graham Marsden
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WTF?

@FrankAlphaXII

Oh, so 500 deaths "isn't too bad"?! I'm sure that'll be a great comfort to, say, the family of Robert Dziekański who died after being Tasered by Canadian Police, restrained, cuffed and *THEN* repeatedly Taserered *again*.

And if the cops in your "bad neighbourhood" were unable to effect an arrest without "beating the holy living shit out of you", the suggests that, given Tasers, they'd just Taser the "living holy shit out of you instead" and strikes me as a stunning lack of professionalism on their part (or a desire to be Judge, Jury and Executioner).

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Graham Marsden
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WTF?

@"If a police officer breaks official procedure"

"HE winds up in the clink instead of the perp"

Sure, just like the officers who killed Jean Charles de Menezes (and then lied about it) are now languishing in jail...

Or the ones who gave Rodney King a good kicking...

Or...

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Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@Nextweek and Audrey S.Thackery

Remember that the Taser is supposed to be a Non-Lethal (oops, I mean *less* lethal) alternative to using firearms yet, despite that, there have been around 500 deaths linked to Taser use, more than a few of which have been related to the target having using illegal narcotics.

Given that a plastic light-saber is not a deadly weapon, using a Taser in a situation like this was completely unnecessary and I don't see that as "minimising risk to the suspect".

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Google's Siri-a-like to be named 'Majel' after Trek actress

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Not without...

... a ouija board!

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Microsoft copies Google with silent browser updates

Graham Marsden
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Mushroom

...and no focus stealing either!

After the last lot of patches downloaded and installed, as usual Windows decided that what *it* was doing was more important than what I was doing and flashed up a message saying "You need to reboot", making that the active window.

Fortunately they've at least stopped auto-selecting the "Reboot Now" button with the result that if you're typing (as I was) and press Return at the wrong moment, you automatically reboot without having the chance to save what you're working on...

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Facebook won't deny it is sitting on huge mountain of cash

Graham Marsden
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Aha! They won't deny it, so it must be true!!!!

Dear me, El Reg, is that the best you can come up with?

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Comet Lovejoy spotted plunging toward fiery doom

Graham Marsden
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Set the controls...

... for the heart of the sun!

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CERN: 'New physics starts now'

Graham Marsden
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"If people still wore as many hats as formerly"...

... So are you saying that people aren't wearing enough hats?

With apologies to Python (Monty)

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FCC (finally) cracks down on BLARING! TV! ADS!

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Another simple solution...

... Everything I want to watch, I record on Sky+ consequently ad breaks are a matter of pressing the fast forward button and counting an appropriate number of seconds before I press play again.

Bingo, no noisy ads!

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Cosmic Cannonball snapped blazing a bloody trail of star guts

Graham Marsden
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@David D. Hagood

Damn, you beat me to it! :-)

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Jimbo Wales ponders Wikipedia blackout

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@Turtle

Would you like to buy a new Irony Detector? Yours seems to be broken.

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Beeb rescues old Who episodes

Graham Marsden
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Unhappy

Strewth mate...

... What a bunch of wowsers!

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Senators: Globo-domains could mean consumer chaos

Graham Marsden
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ICANN...

... make lots of money from this!

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Judge Dredd vs Zombies

Graham Marsden
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Re: Anti-hero?

Six months, creep!

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Graham Marsden
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Paying for top-ups...

Many years ago you could play games like Space Invaders and those which followed for one 10p coin, one play.

Then came games like Gauntlet where (unless you were incredibly skilled) you had to keep shoveling in coins in order to get further into the game (or not play, which I did).

This paying for top-ups is the same thing, writ on new technology.

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Google set to begin appeal against Italian guilty verdicts

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@JimC

Since you apparently need me to spell it out for you, please allow me to explain:

Firstly, it's clear that you don't run a business since, if you did, it would rapidly become bankrupt because trying to solve a problem like this by simply "employing a lot of people" would just be throwing money down the drain.

Secondly, you miss the fact, whilst it is, indeed, up to business to comply with the law, to try to make a global business compliant with *every* law, *everywhere* would be an even bigger waste of money and utterly futile.

I do run a business and supply products worldwide, but due to the adult nature of those products, they are not legal in certain countries. Now if someone from one of those countries chooses to order a product from me, should I be required to ascertain whether my product is legal under that country's laws or is the onus on the customer to ensure that they are not breaking that country's laws buy ordering it. You seem to think that the former is the case, even though I am breaking no laws in my country by selling the item. If I supply that person, should I be liable for arrest in their country?!

If Google were to accept the Italian ruling, then they would have to start censoring *everything* on Youtube and every search result and every g-mail to ensure that it didn't breach some country's laws which would be so monumentally expensive and so monumentally ridiculous that these flaws should be obvious.

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@JimC

"Employ a lot of people", I would laugh at this ironic joke, except it seems you appear to think that you're making a sensible and reasonable suggestion.

There again you also appear to think that "if their business model is predicated on ignoring the law and hoping it will go away, how is that the law's problem?" is a reasonable (and accurate) argument too.

Unfortunately both of these are fundamentally flawed in ways that are so obvious I can't even be bothered to point out the fallacies.

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Graham Marsden
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@Grease Monkey

Is the fact that the porn on YouTube gets taken down quickly because a) google spot it or b) other people spot it and complain?

In any case, the issue is not "is this porn or not" (which is reasonably easy to determine) but "is this illegal in some country somewhere in the world", which is not because that requires a much more subjective value judgement.

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Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@JimC and AC

According to Youtube (also owned by Google) somewhere between 24 and 48 hours of video are uploaded *EVERY MINUTE*!

How on earth do you expect them to pre-screen that much content and make sure that everything they see is acceptable in *every* country in the world???

(Oh, and as regards the the Post Office too. I *know* that letters are private, I simply chose that as an easy to understand example to point was that it is the sheer unfeasibility of checking that much content)

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Graham Marsden
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@AC

I think you've just manged to completely miss the point.

Google took the clip down when they were made aware of it, but the prosecutors in this case are saying that the defendants in this case were found guilty because "Google should have sought permission from those involved before putting the video online".

To say that Google should pre-screen *everything* that someone puts on GoogleVid is like saying that the Post Office should pre-screen every letter sent via their service, it is completely unfeasible and a ridiculous law.

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Graham Marsden
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Stop

@JimC - The law is an ass!

If you follow the logic of your argument through, then Google will have to pre-screen every bit of content according to the laws of *EVERY* country in the world!

What if you choose to post a clip making fun of Kemal Ataturk, the founder of Modern Turkey? That's illegal in that country, so should Google have to pre-screen and refuse to distribute it because the Turks don't like it?

And what about all those naughty clips which are illegal in many other countries? How can google pre-screen everything unless they employ specialist staff from every country in the world to check that they're not breaching each country's law?

I have no love for Google, but if they don't fight this one and win it will have a chilling effect on freedom of expression across the world.

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Cops bust den of text-spam spewers

Graham Marsden
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After you forward them, but before you delete them...

... save the number in your phone's memory under "Spam" or "Junk" or similar.

That way the next time one comes from the same source, you can delete it without even wasting time reading it :-)

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Mythbusters cannonball ‘myth-fires’

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@laird cummings

If you'd done your homework (or even have read the article) you'd have noticed that they were a) testing the velocity they could get from a home made cannon, b) had water barrels *and* an earth berm behind them.

What appears to have gone wrong is that the velocity was much greater than they had anticipated, consequently the trajectory of the cannonball was too high, going over the water barrels and then skipping off the berm, causing it to be lofted towards the houses.

It's easy with hindsight to think that they should have aimed it with a lower trajectory etc, but given that the officials at the Alameda County Bomb Range let them fire it (which I doubt very much they'd have done if they thought this could happen) this is clearly just an unfortunate series of events rather than a lack of "homework".

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UK.gov uses Experian data to sniff out fraudsters

Graham Marsden
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@AC

And they've never accidentally linked the data of two unrelated people, nor denied someone credit based on what a previous occupant of that address did, nor mis-recorded data so that the details of someone with the same name affect your records...

Nope, this never happens...

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Graham Marsden
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@dephormation.org.uk

But don't you know we're now all presumed guilty unless we can prove our innocence!

Got something to hide...? Well, not any more!

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God particle may be within our grasp

Graham Marsden
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Happy

@oldredlion

ITYM Playmobil!

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Globe slowly warming, insists 'Hansen's Bulldog'

Graham Marsden
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"Judge for yourselves"...

... I'd love to, but even if that link wasn't broken (it is) I'd prefer to have done so without Andrew Orlowski poisoning the well with his snide comments before we even get a chance to look at the Paper.

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Boffin's bot spots red light jumpers before they kill

Graham Marsden
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Stop

Alternatively...

... You could teach people that red light jumping is potentially murderous behaviour and apply appropriate penalties rather than a pathethic slap on the wrist (in this country £60 penalty and 3 points)

It's not exactly rocket science. To quote the Highway Code:

* * * * *

Junctions controlled by traffic lights

175 You MUST stop behind the white ‘Stop’ line across your side of the road unless the light is green. If the amber light appears you may go on only if you have already crossed the stop line or are so close to it that to stop might cause a collision.

[Laws RTA 1988 sect 36 & TSRGD regs 10 & 36]

176 You MUST NOT move forward over the white line when the red light is showing. Only go forward when the traffic lights are green if there is room for you to clear the junction safely or you are taking up a position to turn right. If the traffic lights are not working, treat the situation as you would an unmarked junction and proceed with great care.

[Laws RTA 1988 sect 36 & TSRGD regs 10 & 36]

* * * * *

If you are incapable of obeying these simple rules, you should not be on the road (and, speaking as a cyclist, yes, that *INCLUDES* bicycles too, to forestall the automatic response from car drivers).

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India asks Facebook and friends to screen content

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

'there were things on the internet that...

'... "any normal human being would be offended by".'

You do NOT have the right to not be fucking offended!

And what the hell gives *YOU* the right to decide who is "normal" and who isn't let alone decide that something should be denied to others because *you* consider it offensive?

Once again we see someone attempting to sneak through a restriction of freedom of expression based on the idea that "we don't like this, so you are not allowed to see it".

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UK.gov to require YOU to opt out of data-sharing plan with drug firms

Graham Marsden
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@JimmyPage

"Assuming they can get that right"

And that's the worry. Simply taking eg someone's name off the records might not be enough if there are other ways to link patient data together, just as what happened with "anonymised" search details.

But I agree if this can be done then the NHS should be well compensated for the information.

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IPO: Patent laws must change to attract Big Pharma to UK

Graham Marsden
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Stop

Clinical testing in the UK...

... has diminished because we have introduced all those pesky regulations designed to stop the people from being victims of negligence in trials such as this one:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-559760/Elephant-Man-drug-trial-victim-set-win-2million-payout-losing-toes-fingers.html

It's far better (well, cheaper and more profitable) now for Pharmaceutical companies to do their trials on poor Indian people because the regulations are much more lax, the people are less well informed, there is little transparency on who is actually on the ethics committee which approves the trial, and if something goes wrong they don't have to pay so much compensation...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/12/india-clinical-trials_n_896404.html

http://www.who.int/bulletin/volumes/86/8/08-010808/en/index.html

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Navy pays 2x purchase price to keep warship docked for 5 years

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

I'm surprised...

... I expected Lewis to say that we should scrap the Victory, sell it off for firewood and import an historic US ship to put in its place...

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GCHQ code-breaking challenge cracked by Google search

Graham Marsden
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Coat

I prefer...

... 58008918

The post is required, and must contain letters.

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NASA busts booster booster

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

"Wanna buy a RL-10 rocket booster, Guv?

"One careful owner, fell off the back of an Atlas launcher if you know what I mean..."

But seriously, WTF??? How does one of these "go missing" and end up on eBay? It's not as if you can hide it under your coat when you leave work!!

PS And who the hell would be searching on eBay for one of these, let alone bidding on it anyway?

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Toads predict earthquakes: Official

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

"to avoid croaking it"

Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear!

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Printed-out dissolving bones, teeth work well in rats

Graham Marsden
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Does anyone remember that?

I think so, but I was distracted by a documentary about Catholic High School Girls...

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Graham Marsden
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Trollface

I presume...

... the "Spawn of Satan" icon is representative of how your breath will smell...!

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Graham Marsden
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Yes, but...

... the instant healing is giving a bit of trouble at the moment, so it gets a bit messy!

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Crack GCHQ's code and become the next James Bond

Graham Marsden
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"hacked illegally"

Remember kids, it's only illegal when *you* do it!

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Skyrim update makes dragons FLY BACKWARDS

Graham Marsden
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Happy

I'm flying backwards for Xmas...

... Across the Irish Sea...

(With apologies to Spike Milligan!)

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Kepler spots Earth-sized exoplanet ideal for barbecues

Graham Marsden
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Happy

So...

... would you call it Lave?

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Siri gets Android rival as Cluzee goes live

Graham Marsden
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Happy

"What time is it?"

"I've got it writted down on a piece of paper!"

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Judge orders search giants: Delist Chanel rip-off merchants

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

"this request from this judge"

It's not a request, it's an order: "the US district court for Nevada ordered the offending sites be: "De-indexed and/or removed from any search results pages …"

If you really are someone who works with Search Engines, I suggest you list the ones that you work for so people can ensure that you are actually obeying the law, rather than saying "OMG this Judge says we have to de-list them, so we must do that immediately, regardless of due process or any other such legal niceties."

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