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* Posts by Graham Marsden

5013 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Austrian village considers a F**king name change

Graham Marsden
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Project the name onto the clouds?

Look, Intercourse Man, it's the Fucking signal.

You're right, Condom Boy. To the Penismobile!

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Graham Marsden
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Re: solutions people - please!

Carve the name on a 10 tonne lump of granite.

Let's see someone nick that...!

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Spy tech exports from Europe face tighter scrutiny

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

... including China and Saudi Arabia...

... and the United Kingdom if certain Home Secretaries and Intelligence Services get their way...

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Oakley: 'smart' sunglasses ready to shine

Graham Marsden
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Oakley...

... Thump?

Wasn't that from The Goodies?

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China's bullet trains to get face-invading cameras

Graham Marsden
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Isn't it fortunate...

... that the only governments who want to use this sort of technology are repressive, dictatorial regimes who have no respect for personal liberties or democratic principles and operate on the basis of "presumed guilty".

We'd never see British Governments trying to introduce anything like that here, would we...???

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Pew study finds one in five Americans still won't go online

Graham Marsden
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Re: No Good Anyway

And what have the Romans ever done for us...?

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RIP wind power: Minister blows away plans for more turbines

Graham Marsden
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Someone forgot to say...

... "Nar nar, ne nar nar!!!!"

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UK.gov: Firms can't fondle your smart meter privates...

Graham Marsden
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"unless consumers choose to let them see it"

Which just means that there will probably be "By signing up to this or by joining that or by reading the other you automatically consent to allow us to read your meter data unless you jump through lots of hoops to decline" clauses turning up everywhere...

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Two teens cuffed after Blighty's anti-terror hotline hacked

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Re: 'Teens'? WTF This ain't the 51st State yet...

@dotdavid: Probably most of them haven't heard James D Nicol's famous quote about the purity of the English language...

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Developer leaks Microsoft product plans for next two years

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Re: HOORAH

@not_equal_to_null and Dave126

I think your sarcasm detectors are faulty. Please fix them.

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'As seen on TV' claims can't be made about unbranded props

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Re: I can beat that

Even better, at the boat show in Bristol back in (IIRC) the 1980s, there was a little one-man, outboard motor powered catamaran which was advertised with "As seen in the latest James Bond Movie!"

Well, yes, it could be seen in the background if you didn't blink at the wrong moment and were looking in right direction, but the implication was that you'd see Bond riding around on one, which certainly wasn't the case.

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Shuttle Discovery to buzz Washington DC at 1,500 feet

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Re: I see the first post has been deleted...

Really? I was thinking Hugo Drax...

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Dark matter hits you once a minute

Graham Marsden
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Re: Looking forward

... to the Daily Express blaming this for the death of Diana...

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Sky News admits two counts of computer hacking

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Great, more hypocrisy...

... Sky claiming a "public interest" defence sounds like them saying "It's ok to break one law if it upholds a different law"!

Err, no, Sky, that's not how it works. Perhaps you need to hire some lawyers to tell you what is legal *before* you do it, rather than trying to defend what you've done *after* the event.

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'Super rogue wave' scuppers Lego pirate

Graham Marsden
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Playmobil or...

... erm, nothing to see, move along there...!

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Busted in the US? 'Drop your trousers, sir'

Graham Marsden
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Joke

Re: Hmmm.

@AC - Talking of Merkins, will their strip-search also require to check *for* a merkin in case there's contraband hidden "behind the bush"?!

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Cable-cutting rogue engineer caused ultra fast broadband havoc

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Re: Singapore has banned gum

You'd prefer something like Seattle's Gum Wall?

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Game of Thrones Blu-ray disc set

Graham Marsden
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Re: Best ever?

I agree with mike2R. I'm a big B5 fan, but Game of Thrones takes the whole on-going story arc to a new level with deep plotting and excellent acting combined with absolutely stunning visuals.

This is definitely a series on the "Don't Miss!" list.

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New Intel flash hardness performs faster for less

Graham Marsden
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Re: Reliability ??

@Doug 14 - I agree. I've been looking at the idea of getting an SSD for my C drive, but I talked to a local shop who have currently stopped selling them as they've had about a 50% failure rate and they're getting pi$$ed off with having to deal with so many returns and upset customers!

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Home Sec: Web snoop law will snare PAEDOS, TERRORISTS

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Re: No central database - just lots of little ones

Remember the actual quote was: "There are no plans for any big government database"

Not "We will not create a big government database" but only "there are no plans (yet) for a big government database"...

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Graham Marsden
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Paris Hilton

Re: "Theresa May, writing in The Sun"

"I want to see paedos and terrorists and criminals arrested and I think this is the way to do it" says Temptress Theresa on Page Three of your Soaraway Sun...

Unfortunately, whilst most Page Three stunners might have an excuse for not understanding the subject, you'd expect the Home Secretary to have at least been briefed by someone who *does* comprehend the fact that this sort of mass data troughing will create more problems than it solves whilst the people they're trying to catch switch to communication methods that are much more difficult to trace.

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China purges coup rumours from social media

Graham Marsden
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Alert

"the spreading of so-called ‘rumours’...

"...online has been illegal in China"

And Listening to Rumours is Treasonous, Citizen!

- Your Friend, The Computer.

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Ape sanctuary seeks funds for armed Robo Bonobo

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Re: Android vs Apple market share amongst bonobos?

Groan!

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Graham Marsden
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Mushroom

@Somerset John

True, but remember that this is also obviously Against God's WIll and Unnatural and a Perversion of the Natural Order of Things since clearly had God meant Chimps to talk he would have given them vocal cords!

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Top Italian OPERA boffin steps down after faster-than-light mistake

Graham Marsden
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Re: Did he have to go?

It's probable that there is a lot of politicking going on in the background that we aren't privy to and this is just the result of someone's power play.

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Vote now for the WORST movie EVER

Graham Marsden
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Re: Highlander 2

Highlander 2 did have *one* redeeming feature. After McCleod had killed one immortal and the Quickening was doing its electrical stuff, for a couple of seconds it suddenly reared up like an enormous beast which was actually pretty good. Unfortunately it only lasted a couple of seconds, so the weight of the rest of the crap in the film buried it.

As it is, although I was tempted to vote for Highlander 2, I had to go for the abomination that was the Hitch Hikers Guide film because it promised so much, but absolutely failed to deliver and, even worse, spoiled my memories of the excellent radio series.

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LOHAN demonstrates impressive sucking skills

Graham Marsden
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Or...

... eat porridge through a straw!

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Don't be alarmed - but 545,000 NHS patient files are going online

Graham Marsden
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Re: About bliddy time

"As long as they've designed the system so only healthcare pro's can rummage around in the data, fine."

Except that we all know that that is *not* going to be the case. Someone's going to have made a cockup or leave a password on a piece of paper or feel like having a snoop at someone else's medical records when they're not supposed to (and then perhaps sell that to the tabloids).

If you suffer from something that's life-critical, carry an Alert Bracelet or wear an SOS Talisman or some other such thing to let people know if you're unconscious, anything else can wait until your records (and *only* your records) are accessed as per usual.

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EXTREME weather blown away from unexpected direction

Graham Marsden
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Mushroom

I'm surprised that...

... the words "Nah nah, ne nah nar!!" didn't appear in this article...

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ALL Visa cards blab punters' names - not just Barclaycards

Graham Marsden
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Unhappy

Meanwhile...

... there's also the fact (a "known issue") that Barclays Visa Debit "wave and pay" cards won't work with certain types of mobile payment terminal.

I found this out last October when I took a payment which appeared to go through successfully, but I didn't notice until later that the Merchant Copy of the payment slip said "Declined" instead of "Pin Verified" meaning I lost £28 (fortunately it wasn't more!)

Now I have to put through payments with these cards as "Cardholder not Present" as it's the only way to get them to work properly.

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Wags unroll Twitter toilet paper

Graham Marsden
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At last...

... proof that Twitter is a load of shite!

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Behold! Or rather, don't: Bendy see-through DRAM

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Re: Wearing memory? pft...

Please, S.G. be content to have forgotten the abysmal mess that was the movie of Johnny Mnemonic and stick to the original brilliant William Gibson short story!

(Icon the nearest thing to mirror shades...)

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Everything you thought you knew about cybercrims is WRONG

Graham Marsden
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Mushroom

Re: Oh yes, Hollywood...

You mean I *can't* trigger a Global Thermonuclear War from my bedroom?

Aw damn... :-(

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Visa shows off data centre 'moat'

Graham Marsden
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Re: Easy to avoid the moat

What? You would use the *out* road to get *in*??

What are you, some kind of goddam commie subversive!!

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Los Alamos fires BLOODY BIG MAGNET

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Re: Blimey

Why are there all these weird holes in my office wall...???

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High school student expelled for dropping F-bomb in tweet

Graham Marsden
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Happy

@Turtle_Fan

"has anyone argued the actual merits of his statement?"

Oh fuck that!

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TSA bars security guru from perv scanner testimony

Graham Marsden
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Megaphone

Re: The scanners are useless

Time to repost the clip of Adam Savage from Mythbusters who went through the security scanners with two twelve inch industrial razor blades in his pocket...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3yaqq9Jjb4

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Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Why don't they just...

... offer the TSA an alternative to having Bruce Schneier testify?

I know a good supplier of latex gloves...

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OFT warns wallet-raiding debt collectors over web ads

Graham Marsden
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Which Magazine: "Don't pay for debt advice - use free alternatives"

These so-called "Debt management" companies are not in business for the benefit of people in debt, they're out to make money from people who believe their hype.

They are notorious for front-loading fees, taking a cut of any money you pay off themselves and offering commission for referrals to get their hooks into more people.

To quote Which Magazine: "Debt management companies negotiate with consumers’ creditors on their behalf, but offer poor value for money. Fee-charging debt management firms generally target people who are in serious financial trouble."

http://www.which.co.uk/news/2012/01/debt-management-companies---money-products-to-avoid-277404/

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Microsoft censors Pirate Bay links from IM

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

And just how difficult...

... will it be to find a way to obfuscate a Pirate Bay link so that it's immune to MS censorship?

"Hey, here's that picture you wanted..."

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Giant paper plane thunders across Arizona sky

Graham Marsden
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Happy

I hope the teddy...

... had a parachute!

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Robotic surgeon successful in first prostate snip

Graham Marsden
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Re: Rise Of The Machines?

@Shocked Jock

Cancerous prostate cells only turns nasty if you let urologists get near them with instruments [Citation needed]

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China's censors out in force as coup rumours spread

Graham Marsden
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I find it ironic that...

... the Pro-Mao web site is called "Utopia" which means "No Place"

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GIANT KANGAROOS wiped out by humans, not climate change

Graham Marsden
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Re: Same goes for dinosaurs

@nomnomnom

"They are just really good at hiding behind hills."

ITYM "the furniture". Right Bob?

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Record-breaking laser pulse boosts fusion power hopes

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Re: Oh, the irony

Please try to comprehend the fundamental difference between Fission and Fusion, thank you.

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German court: Rapidshare must HUNT for dodgy pirate links

Graham Marsden
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Meh

Rapidshare...? So what...

... given that they seem to be attempting to drive themselves out of business by making their "service" incomprehensibly complicated to use.

(It's still a stupid ruling, though)

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Spider venom to be tested for pesticide potential

Graham Marsden
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"it's rather hard to milk spiders for their venom"

For a start you need a really tiny stool...

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So, what IS the worst film ever made?

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Highlander films...

... there should have been only one!

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Samsung backside-bitten by emoticon patent trollery

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Is there a smiley for...

... hoist by your own petard?

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Humans best crossword-puzzling computer

Graham Marsden
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Ok, but...

... although I understand the reason for restricting the "letter crunching" ability, how would it cope with a crossword clue I remember from many years ago which was simply:

V? (6,2,7)

Scroll down for the answer...

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The answer was "Centre of gravity"! :-)

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