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* Posts by Graham Marsden

4913 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

So, what IS the worst film ever made?

Graham Marsden
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@SaveTheSharks

ITYM "Highlander II - The Sickening"!

I saw it on pirate video and thank the gods I did because it saved me having to queue up for my money back!

Alternatively, the Hitch-Hiker's Guide Film: This film is bad. Really Bad. I mean you just won't believe how hugely, mind-bogglying bad this film was. You may have thought the Highlander II or Waterworld were bad, but that's just peanuts to this film. Listen...

A film that takes Douglas Adams wonderful wordplay and either sets up the joke but then forgets to do the punchline or does the punchline without the setup meaning it falls totally flat. And as for the ludicrous Hollywood Meddling "Arthur and Trillian fall in love" sub plot? Belgium, man! Total swutting belgium!!

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London Mayor Boris grilled on Virgin's Underground penetration

Graham Marsden
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Re: Don't mention the Olympics

They should hire John Cleese...

"Don't mention the Olympics! I did once, but I think I got away with it..."

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Pope Benedict in .XXX pro-Islam cybersquat drama

Graham Marsden
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Re: Which is the more disturbing thought?

There once were two ladies from Birmingham,

Shall we speak of the scandal concerning 'em?

They're both in the dock

For raising the frock

Of the Clergyman who was confirming 'em!

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Surprise! Facebook, Twitter still not THAT important for news

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

You could have put the full stop...

... after the word "Important" in that headline...

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More evidence that neutrinos are NOT faster than light

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

"This is how science works."...

... a fact that seems to elude most media outlets...

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Eddie Murphy heading for worst movie ever glory

Graham Marsden
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Re: Wrong...

@He was the voice of Donkey in the Shrek series.

And I always wondered why Shrek didn't just punch him over the horizon...

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Boffins build cyborg snails to generate electricity

Graham Marsden
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Re: Fantastic!

"the more electricity we use, the more calories we'll burn"

Damn, I want to play Angry Birds, but my phone's out of charge, someone get me a burger now!

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Mobile phones cause ADHD in rodents

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Recent studies have shown...

... that the main cause of cancer in laboratory rodents is Scientists!

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Graham Marsden
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Re: Mobile phones cause ADHD in rodents?

The point was that...

... ooh, shiny!!

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Lawyers of Mordor retreat from The Hobbit

Graham Marsden
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Pity stayed their hand...

... "Pity we look like a bunch of arrogant and overbearing bastards" thought SZC

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UPDATE: GAGA team hunts down grass-smoking ROBOT

Graham Marsden
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Put a rotating laser on the top of the lawnmower

It's a lawnmower, not a frickin' shark!

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Virgin Media snags London Underground Wi-Fi monopoly

Graham Marsden
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As all the dealers say...

... the first sample is free...

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Mobile banking security bypassed in fiendish malware blag

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Re: Just as well I don't use Online Banking

Yes, and keeping your cash under your mattress is so much safer too...

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Death Star SUCKS PLASMA FROM SUN in NASA riddle vid

Graham Marsden
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Re: Obviously not a refueling spaceship

And, to the best of my knowledge, Disaster Area aren't playing in this solar system...

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Startup slices solar panels using ion gun

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Is this ion gun...

... to be found in low orbit...?

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Galaxies to get the Pluto treatment?

Graham Marsden
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Re: Galaxies have...

No they don't necessarily...

See this article about the work of a friend of mine who has turned his work in the Galaxy Zoo project into a PhD: http://aliceingalaxyland.blogspot.com/2011/01/doctor-proctor-and-irregular-galaxies.html

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Report: UK falls behind as smart meters rolled out across Europe

Graham Marsden
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@DrXym

Let me give you another example of why smart meters are not a good idea:

At the moment there are a plethora of supply tarrifs, each company has dozens, online, offline, with standing charges or without, dual fuel or electricity and gas separate, fixed price, capped price, different charges for up to X KWh and then over and so on and so on and even with comparison sites it's a bugger of a job finding if you're getting a competitive rate or being ripped off.

Not only that, if you sign up for a tarriff and want to change you may get charged an "exit penalty" or, if the price drops, there have been cases where the company has charged people the higher rate for the *whole* period instead of when the price changed.

So do you think that smart meters are going to make the situation better? Well the answer is "far from it". What's more likely to happen now is that your consumption data is going be used to create an "individually tailored" charging package just for you which is going to make comparison between companies virtually impossible unless you're willing to sit down with a spreadsheet and calculate your exact usage hour by hour, day by day.

Who benefits from this? Not you, sunshine...

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Council spunks '£100k on how to wash your hands' vid

Graham Marsden
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But is there one...

... on how to Sanitise a Telephone?

(All aboard the B-Ark...)

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That steady diet of EastEnders IS turning her into a shrew

Graham Marsden
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Pirate

Let's have the Dangerous Television Programmes Act!

Since we now have the Dangerous Pictures and Dangerous Drawings Acts based on the idea that looking at that sort of thing will "Make You Do Bad Things[tm]", I think it's time that we started a petition to ban Soap Operas since it's clearly been shown that they are a greater danger to society!

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Flying Spaghetti Monster's works spotted in space

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Alternatively...

... here's a quote I heard a few weeks ago:

"Jesus promised to rid the world of wicked people.

"Odin promised to rid the word of Ice Giants.

"I don't see any Ice Giants around, do you?"

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Graham Marsden
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Happy

Praise...

... His Intergalactic Noodly Appendages!

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Ofcom probes deeper, wider in BSkyB 'fit and proper' test

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

"Project Apple"

Danger, incoming lawsuit!!

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Microsoft tech turns any object into a touchscreen

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Didn't I see something similar...

... in Predator?

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GRAIL lunar orbiters get down to business

Graham Marsden
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Happy

Will they...

... also detect a large magnetic anomaly in the region of Tycho crater...?

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SimCity to return after 10-year holiday

Graham Marsden
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Devil

"bad neighbors and spoil other people's cities..."

Just as long as there's an option to breed a giant monster and set it stomping through your neighbour's city!

(And a way of stopping them doing that to mine...)

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Restaurant takes the piss, recycles it as fertiliser

Graham Marsden
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Re: Piss was used to make gunpowder...

It goes back much further than that: Urine has been used in leather tanning since time immemorial and the Romans collected it to distill for the ammonia to use in their laundries.

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Apple blocks booze, cigs sales with parental control patent

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

I thought one of the ideas behind patents...

... was that they should be "non-obvious".

Responsible parents wanting to be able to block their kids from buying cigs and booze seems pretty bloody obvious to me!

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Deutsche Telekom shatters data-transfer speed record

Graham Marsden
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Devil

77 music CDs in one second

The sound you hear is the RIAA and the BPI expiring from apoplexy!

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Tony Blair closes RSA 2012, denounces WikiLeaks

Graham Marsden
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Re: Re:Oh, how I laughed!

Ah, once again the Matt Bryant movable goalposts are back out of storage, not to mention irrelevant personal attacks.

No, Matt, I don't subscribe to conspiracy theories and trying to denigrate my arguments like that just shows the paucity of yours.

The fact is that when one side in an argument can (like you repeatedly try to do) move the goalposts and change the argument to irrelevancies instead of dealing with the actual issue that we should have had a discussion into *all* the options available *before* any referendum was ever held, we were given a false choice and straw man arguments (another one was the claim that AV was somehow not "one person one vote") then it's not a case of "an electorate usually gets the politicans it deserves. You reap what you sow", but those who follow the Golden Rule ("He who has the gold makes the rules") decide what we reap from what they sow.

Once again I'll let you get the last word because there's no point in trying to have a sensible discussion with you.

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Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Re: Re:Oh, how I laughed!

Matt Bryant: "If AV cannot stand up to "old arguments" then it is simply not good enough either."

Oh good grief, Matt. It wasn't about the arguments, it was about the amount of money that the "Say No" campaign (backed by the Tories) could put into straw man advertising ("If you vote for AV this soldier won't get a bullet proof vest") and other ridiculous nonsense such as that contained in your second paragraph.

If you really wanted to summarize the situation accurately you could have said "Let's say someone is wearing sandals and want to wade across a stream. We could have given them a choice between the sandals and ballet pumps, stiletto heels, trainers, slippers, wellington boots, flip-flops, waders, army boots etc etc, but if we did that, they might actually realise that there *are* better options."

Instead, they, like you, offer a false dichotomy of "well it's either sandals or trainers" and use that to set up a straw man argument showing how bad the "only available" alternative is.

The only bit you did get right is that "it does not mean replacing it with the trend au jour is going to be a better solution", but you miss the point that it was never an open and free choice in the first place.

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Graham Marsden
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Re: Re:Oh, how I laughed!

@Matt Bryant: "before you start going on about proportional representation, please look at the mess that has caused in other countries such as Greece" etc etc etc

Ah, the same old arguments that were trotted out when we *DID* have a chance to change a broken electoral system and which were refuted time and again, yet, due to large amounts of money spent on a campaign of FUD and lies ("Vote No to AV or the baby dies") we ended up with an electorate that were confused or scared into sticking with FPTP.

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Graham Marsden
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Blimey! (Was: Re: What a fucking hypocrite!)

When I first read that article and was pissed off enough to make that OP, I wasn't expecting over 100 upvotes! Thanks everyone.

(And one downvote, it seems, from the Vicar of St Albions...!)

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Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

What a fucking hypocrite!

"Individuals need to have private communications, he said, but at the same time there are people who threaten our way of life that have to be stopped. Politicians, however, need privacy to function, "

And there we have Blair, once again, in a nutshell: One rule for them, another for us.

The man who tried to give us DNA databases, ID Cards, ANPR and CCTV on every corner with facial recognition to track us everywhere we go and watch everything we do thinks that he and his cronies "need privacy to function" but *NOBODY* else does!

Hypocrite.

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Eric Schmidt flicks INTERSTELLAR TOWEL at top tech fair

Graham Marsden
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Re: If he's a fan of HHGTTG....

Share and Enjoy!

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Lego space shuttle hits 114,000ft

Graham Marsden
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Happy

Re: What about the rocket??

I would have been worried if it was one of these...

http://www.gadgetreview.com/wp-content/gallery/lego-death-star/lego-death-star-2.jpg

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Boffins, tourists threaten Antarctica with alien invasion

Graham Marsden
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Happy

I'm reminded...

... of the Matt cartoon from a few months back showing a penguin at the Leveson enquiry complaining about how whether he was feeding, mating, caring for his young, there was David Attenborough and a film crew watching everything...

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Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Re: erm...

"if birds carried seeds to Antarctica..."

What, like coconuts...?

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Space FIREBALL over Blighty sparks hunt for rich meteorite

Graham Marsden
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Alert

Re: Has anyone....

Why bother? The chances are a million to one...

Hmm, what's that noise? Sounds like Ulla! Ulla!

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Russia’s fraud-busting Webcams join the party

Graham Marsden
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"Vladimir Putin...

"...has claimed victory in the election."

It just would have been nice if he'd not done so *before* voting started...

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Giant stick insect saved from extinction

Graham Marsden
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"Our new Tree Lobster Overlords"

Well they've got a great location for a secret base!

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Warp drives are PLANET KILLERS, Sydney Uni students find

Graham Marsden
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Sounds...

... infinitely improbable to me.

(Thumb icon because...)

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Manchester biz raided in text message spam clampdown

Graham Marsden
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Re: Now how about phone spam? (@Evan Essence)

If someone is using a service like Call1899 it comes up as "International" even though they're calling a UK number from another UK number, so you might be blocking a valid call.

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Been smacked by the ICO? Reveal your internal probes

Graham Marsden
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‘prejudice to effective conduct of public affairs’

Translation: Someone high enough up the food chain was responsible, so we're going to keep schtum and pay the fine with public money instead of sacking the idiot.

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UK will share passenger data with US in Euro deal

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Re: They don't really want us to travel

As far as I'm concerned, they have their wish!

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Internet therapy speeds chronic fatigue recovery

Graham Marsden
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Happy

Hello boss...

... no, I'm not wasting time on the net when I should be working, I'm undergoing chronic fatigue recovery!

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Tory minister: Let's exploit our rich resource of mud, er, wind

Graham Marsden
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Alert

Re: Dear Andrew

Following up to myself simply to say: "Blimey, I'm amazed that comment didn't get blocked!"

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US shuts down Canadian gambling site with Verisign's help

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

America...

... Fuck Yeah!!!

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GPS glitch leads perp-pursuing cops to wrong house

Graham Marsden
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Re: Newbs

And seizing the computer and "discovering" kiddie porn on it...

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Millions of China's tweeters 'silenced by real names decree'

Graham Marsden
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Listening to rumours...

... is Treasonous, Citizen!

(Mine's the Ultraviolet security clearance one...)

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India splurges £100m on new mega internet snooping HQ

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

"in the name of national security"

Ah yes, along with "to protect children" this is one of the best "If you disagree. you must be a terrorist/ kiddy fiddler" arguments to shut down opposition...

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