Feeds

* Posts by Graham Marsden

4741 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Scammers punt bogus pink Facebook makeover

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Coat

I'm a pink facebook...

... you're a blue facebook...

1
0

Billions of potentially populated planets in the galaxy

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Alien

@hi_robb

"You'll have had your tea, then?"

2
0

Satnav mishap misery cure promised at confab

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Boffin

@AndrueC

Does your Sat Nav not have the ability to set Waypoints so that you can *tell* it you want to go an alternative route??

0
0
Graham Marsden
Silver badge

@SJRulez

"you still don't know where your f**king going!"

You clearly don't ride a motorcycle.

One of the best things about biking is getting off the beaten track and exploring some of the B and C roads, avoiding motorways and built-up areas, and finding there's actually still some beautiful countryside out there.

And if those roads happen to be nice and twisty too, so much the better!

Once finished having fun, just tell the Sat Nav "take me home" and you're sorted.

It's about the ride, not the destination.

2
0
Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Boffin

@Wize

It would help if people could put their brains into "On" mode and look at all those road signs saying "Low Bridge" or "Width Restriction" etc which the Highways Agency have kindly put there to warn them of potential problems ahead, instead of just blindly following the Sat Nav...

4
1

Apple legal threat to Steve Jobs doll deemed 'bogus'

Graham Marsden
Silver badge

@AC

Apart from the aforementioned Plan 9 there was also The Crow, for instance, where Brandon Lee's face was added by CGI onto the body of a stand in after Lee was accidentally shot.

0
0
Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Happy

@Dave Bell

"There are actors who have died during the production of a film, and some ingenious work done to finish the film--voice imitations, careful use of long-shots, that sort of thing--and protecting a likeness does set out the basis for dealing with these things."

There was also Plan 9 From Outer Space...!

1
0

Smart meter SSL screw-up exposes punters' TV habits

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Boffin

@Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

Has anyone scientifically proved that posting to El Reg is completely safe...??

0
0

Former coder, NASA 'naut to lead DARPA starship dream

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Up

I've got a nice hot cup of tea here...

... anyone got a Bambleweeny 57 Sub-Meson Brain and an Atomic Vector Plotter...?

1
0
Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Up

And some said that...

... coming down from the trees was a big mistake!

0
0

Boffins hack evolution, create SUPERSOLDIER ANTS

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Mushroom

I just want to say...

THEM!

2
0

Amazon says soz for foisting mag sub onto Kindle-touchers

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
WTF?

Optional...?

That word implies some sort of pre-medidated choice on the part of the *customer*, rather than a decision by the supplier to opt them in, hence why the Unsolicited Goods and Services Act in England makes such things illegal.

0
0

Apple said to threaten legal action over Steve Jobs doll

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Facepalm

Well of course...

... after all, this doll is copying the look and feel of the real Steve Jobs...!

5
0

Man convicted of murder gets retrial after virus eats transcripts

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Boffin

@Andus McCoatover

Why do they rely on that archaic system? Because even if the electronic records get screwed up, there's still a hard copy back up, that's why!

Or did you not RTFA?

4
0

Lunar mineral turns up in Oz

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Black Helicopters

They should have checked...

... that secret government hanger in the Nevada Desert...

0
1

Study finds piracy withering against legal alternatives

Graham Marsden
Silver badge

XKCD got it right...

http://xkcd.com/488/

6
0
Graham Marsden
Silver badge

@Yet Another Anonymous coward

AIUI the thing about QI (especially the earlier series) is that at least some of the images they use on the big screens behind the panelists are not licenced for use outside the UK, consequently to distribute them in other countries would require paying expensive fees which would make the DVD not commercially viable, hence the edits.

1
0

PayPal dispute ends in 'violin destruction'

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Coat

"I inherited a painting and a violin...

"... which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter."

- Tommy Cooper

49
0

US military's non-lethal weapon plans revealed

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Up

@Figgus

I'm glad to hear it, but as for the guy being "conservative", well when you've got a choice between voting for the Right Wing Candidate or the *really* Right Wing Candidate...!

0
1
Graham Marsden
Silver badge
FAIL

@laird cummings

Fuck Yeah!!

1
0
Graham Marsden
Silver badge
WTF?

@laird cummings

What I would prefer is for the US not to need such devices by realising that they're not Team America World Police and to stop trying to win "Hearts and Minds" by barging their way into a country and saying "We're going to liberate you so you can have a wonderful American style Democracy! (Whether you want it or not.)"

Mostly the only reason they need these devices to deal with crowds in the first place is because they're somewhere that they are *NOT WANTED* and the crowds just want them to get out of *their* country.

3
1
Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Down

"Non-Lethal Weapons"?

Or just "Not Very Lethal" with acceptable (to the US Military etc) levels of "Collateral Damage"?

6
3

Exotic Russian rock CAME FROM OUTER SPACE

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Coat

Are they sure...

... it didn't come from an exploding planet?

Mine's the one with the big S on the front ;-)

1
0

Cops get 3D laser scanners for motorway crash sites

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Boffin

How much would it cost...

... to stop people driving like twunts on the motorway?

Perhaps if we dealt properly with middle lane Hogs, idiots yakking on their mobiles and not watching the road ahead, tailgaters, people who think that Lane 3 is the "fast lane", pillocks who think the safe stopping distance at 70mph is about 20 feet, morons who don't understand that when it's rainy your stopping distance increases, suicidal drivers who don't think that they should slow down in heavy rain or fog, prats who scythe across from lane 3 to lane 1 to take an exit which was clearly signposted a mile back, but they waited until the last minute to position for....

Accidents on motorways don't *just happen*, there's a reason for them and 99% of those are due to people driving stupidly.

4
0

Rhino horn price spike drives record poaching

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Pirate

I'm pleased to announce that...

... new research has shown that a daily dose of PTMP (or Powdered Traditional Medicine Practitioner) has been shown to cure impotence, HIV, cancer and being terminally stupid!

So don't delay, powerder a Traditional Medicine Practitioner today!

12
0

Area 51 to host sci-fi knocking shop

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Alien

Total Recall...

... pinched the idea from the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy which had Eccentrica Gallumbits, the Triple Breasted Whore of Eroticon Six!

1
0

2011 Reg roundup: Hacking hacks, spying apps and an end to Einstein?

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Boffin

Re: "did not *explicitly* delete"

But, none the less, because they *were* listened to, they were subsequently deleted, so whilst they weren't deliberately deleted by the illegal actions of people employed by the NotW, none the less their actions caused them to be deleted.

So, either way, the NotW *were* responsible for the messages being deleted.

5
0

Boffins drill into human language by terrifying chimps with vipers

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Boffin

@CellDoc

Use of the word Boffin to refer to scientists dates back to before the Second World War, see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boffin

(Boffin icon!)

0
0

Apple’s Siri gets sweary with British child

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Trollface

Many years ago...

... local computer shops would have demo programs which would ask you to input your name. Naturally nobody would think of inputting the name "Idiot" in and then scrolling the page so "press enter" was the only bit visible such that when enter was pressed, the presser would be greeted with "Hello Idiot!"

And certainly nobody would edit the list of words in a Basic Hangman program to add a fine selection of obscenities either...!

2
0

ALIEN ARTIFACTS can best be FOUND ON MOON

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Happy

@Mike Flubennock

Ah, but The Sunday Sport went one better, not only did they have "WWII Bomber Found on Moon - Picture!" showing said bomber on the moon, but a bit later they had "WWII Bomber Disappears from Moon" with a picture showing where the bomber *used* to be!

1
0

Japanese boffins crack arse-based ID recognizer

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Big Brother

@Darryl

"Wonder if it could replace scanners at the airport some day"

Why not, after all, you pretty much have to bend over and drop your trousers already...!

3
0

Hidden Dragon: The Chinese cyber menace

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Down

@Steven Roper

And your taking a *single* word out of his (as you admit) sensible post and using it as a reason to claim that it invalidates the whole thing is why you have got a downvote.

6
4

Blocking Twitter, Facebook during riots not such a hot idea - MPs

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Holmes

No shit, Sherlock icon...

... no post needed!

0
0

Go Daddy boycott threat for backing hated anti-piracy law

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Down

rejected != refuted

"Go Daddy's Jones has refuted this, writing last month: "

Refute: vb - Prove (a statement or theory) to be wrong or false; disprove.

Reject: vb - Dismiss as inadequate, inappropriate, or not to one's taste.

I see nothing in her statement that proves that it will not break DNSSEC except that she finds this "hard to imagine" (how much tech knowledge does a "General Counsel" have?)

As for "I have to believe that the average person doesn’t want to commit a crime", she complains about "rhetoric" and "regurgitated lobbying spin", yet she's doing exactly the same by parroting the words of the MPAA/ RIAA who are still trying to redefine the language by saying that people are "stealing" music because the media industry want to keep using an obsolete (but profitable to them) revenue model.

19
1

Gerry turncoat Harvey gives gamers a deal

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
WTF?

Syndicated Facility Agreement...

or SFA for short...!

0
0

Latest El Reg project: Rise of the Robot Sheep

Graham Marsden
Silver badge

NAOMI

New Automated Optimised Mowing Invention

1
0

Cops arrest cop in alleged corrupt cop-bung probe

Graham Marsden
Silver badge

Congratulations, WPC Smith...

... you win the "Scapegoat of the Year" award!

2
0
Graham Marsden
Silver badge

@dephormation.org.uk

Yes, it reads "It's nothing to do with me, can I have another promotion, please..."

6
0

Pluto's blushing complexion riddle solved by boffins

Graham Marsden
Silver badge

Oh don't you lot start too!

- Luna

1
0
Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Megaphone

Any more trouble out of you lot and I'll be calling the Vogons!

0
0

Smut baron buy-up of Vatican.xxx rumour exploded

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Happy

They're missing a trick...

... think of the market for all those nun-sploitation films!

2
0

Deep-fried planets discovery offers hope for Earth’s future

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Mushroom

@Geoff Campbell

And some Factor 10,000,000 suncream...!

1
0

Ofcom maps out what 'psychics' are allowed to do on TV

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Trollface

So...

... what about Songs of Praise?!

14
1

Facebook shoves your face into creepy 'sponsored stories' in 2012

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
WTF?

"we will gradually begin..."??

So how come I got a message saying that one of my friends had used an application when I know he'd been without an internet connection for a week?!

1
0
Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Devil

Or replace them...

... with a picture of someone bending over with their trousers around their ankles...!

13
1

Public bodies told: Swapping data feels good, but you must be careful

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Nice, but...

... they forgot "Don't put it on unencrypted laptops or data sticks which get left on trains or in taxis and most certainly don't store it on CDs which you then send through the post!"

0
0

Three more 'nauts prepare for space station housewarming

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Up

@James Micalleft

TANSTAAFL!

0
0

LOHAN fires up sizzling thruster

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Coat

"it's up to the Southampton Uni boys to tell us if they need more power"

"We need more thrust, Scotty!"

"I'm gie'in her all I've got, Cap'n!!"

1
0

Bah, humbug! Virgin Media censors Charles D**kens

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Happy

@BigUglyDean...

... OUT!!

0
0

US gov split over new domain explosion

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Big Brother

"totalitarian regimes...

"... that want to orchestrate a governmental takeover of internet regulation."

Well we don't know of any of those, do we, boys and girls?!

1
0