Feeds

* Posts by Graham Marsden

5135 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Darth Vader is a pansy

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Wot, no H2G2 references?

Exactly! A black keyboard with black letters and black buttons that light up black to let you know you've pressed them...

3
2

Indonesia in pre-Ramadan web porn blitz

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Happy

@Piloti

"And as far as god is concerned, which god ?"

I saw a lovely quote from Ricky Gervais the other day:

"The dictionary definition of God is “a supernatural creator and overseer of the universe.” Included in this definition are all deities, goddesses and supernatural beings. Since the beginning of recorded history, which is defined by the invention of writing by the Sumerians around 6,000 years ago, historians have cataloged over 3700 supernatural beings, of which 2870 can be considered deities.

"So next time someone tells me they believe in God, I’ll say “Oh which one? Zeus? Hades? Jupiter? Mars? Odin? Thor? Krishna? Vishnu? Ra?…” If they say “Just God. I only believe in the one God,” I’ll point out that they are nearly as atheistic as me. I don’t believe in 2,870 gods, and they don’t believe in 2,869."

2
1
Graham Marsden
Silver badge

@J1

I, as an atheist, say that you are free to believe whatever you want to, just as everyone else is free to believe what they want.

If you believe that your god says you shouldn't do something, fine, don't do it, I have no problem with that. However you also seem to think that because *you* don't like something, *we* should not be allowed to do it and that I have a problem with.

To say that only your god (or any god) can define what is right and wrong is supremely presumptuous. I do not cheat, steal, murder etc etc because I *CHOOSE* not to. Not because I am threatened with some alleged divine vengeance at the end of my life, but because I consider the world is a better place *now* if I don't do them.

So please, feel free to hold to whatever beliefs you want and don't do things that you consider are "forbidden" to you, but do not be so arrogant as to consider everyone else to be so weak-minded and morally bankrupt that they need *you* to protect them from all the bad things in the world with a "Nanny (or god) knows best" attitude.

7
2

BIG BOOBS banished from Linux kernel

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
FAIL

@TeeCee

"I'll make my mind up once he's been convicted or aquitted in a court of law. As he seems intent on avoiding having to challenge the evidence, I'm leaning towards "guilty as sin" myself."

Well that's a nice open minded viewpoint you have there. Forget about Presumption of Innocence, let's just assume he's guilty. I can see you're so willing to wait for a verdict...!

7
0

YouTube blurs faces to protect the innocent

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: What would be the point of publicly protesting anonymously?

I don't know. Perhaps you could ask those who protested in the former Soviet Union or China or Syria or...

0
0
Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Down

Re: Child Protection

"One of the main reasons photos of children are not published, particularly with accompanying names, is to protect children who have been removed from abusive families and relocated to safer places."

No, that's just the *excuse* that's given to justify a stupid and over-bearing "cover your arse" policy brought in by people frightened of being sued by No Win, No Fee lawyers.

2
2

Humanity increasingly sitting on collective arse

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: Yup

See here for some perfect examples of useless cycle lanes...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/gallery/2009/nov/05/readers-worst-cycle-lanes

0
0

Compare the Market loses .XXX smut-squat appeal

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Holmes

And so...

... it seems that, as expected, the only winners from the .xxx domain sell off are Icann and the lawyers.

2
0

We'll punish crims faster... with lots of shiny new tech - minister

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Boffin

How about...

... instead of splurging a boat-load of tax-payers' money on something which is liable to turn into another IT vanity project catastrophe, we deal with those who have committed actual crimes faster by stopping creating new laws and wasting time and money on prosecuting people for trivial "offences"?

3
0

Sky's TV-on-demand registers with regulator just hours before opening

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Coat

42 16 12 3

That's Numberwang!

2
0

Nasa guides Mars Rover with Kinect

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Joke

"Do you want to drive a car on Mars...?"

Copyright Howard Wolowitz ;-)

0
0

Boffins build eye-controlled interface out of game-console cams

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Definitely misleading

@Ian Michael Gumby

So what you mean is that my mouse which cost £3.99 is actually a lot more expensive because it has to be tied into my computer which cost me £300 to build...

0
1

Fake sandwich shop's big fake Likes leave Facebook looking flaky

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Trollface

Just as clever headlines [...] and other journalistic tricks

Phew! It's a good job El Reg doesn't use that sort of thing...

1
1

Native Americans arrived to find natives already there, fossil poo shows

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Coat

@edge_e

That joke is older than 6000 years...

9
0
Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Up

@Tel Starr

Eee, that's reet grand!

1
0

Christians get God-optimized 'Edifi' Android fondleslab

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Trollface

Surely there's prior art...

... with the Jesus Phone...

3
0

WikiWin: Icelandic court orders Visa to process WikiLeaks $$$

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Up

More proof...

...that some countries aren't willing to have the USA dictate laws to them.

22
4

UK.gov's cost-cutting 'shared services' went £500m OVER BUDGET

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Devil

Re: Ministry of Administrative Affairs, anyone

Jim Hacker: "We’ll have to do a time and motion study to see who we can get rid of."

Sir Humphrey: "We did one of those last year – it transpired we needed another five hundred people."

0
1

Expert: BA doesn't need permission to google your face

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Can see it now

... and that's a charming tattoo you have, Mrs Smith.

Oh, you don't have any tattoos... erm...

1
1

Top spook: ISP black boxes NOT key to UK's web-snoop plan

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Big Brother

"If you have the right kind of data...

"...issues of anonymisation cease to be a problem."

In other words, "Let us snoop *everything*"

0
0

Gaping 'open data' loophole could leave your privates on display

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Pirate

Yes, certainly, I'll co-operate...

... and since co-operation is a two-way street, I'm sure that you will allow me access to details of the Company Directors Remuneration and Bonus packages and details of any and all share options that they've been allocated...

1
1

China's censors move to stamp out sex and violence online

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Big Brother

Well at least...

... they're not talking about making adults opt-in before they're permitted to access adult content.

No, that's an entirely different repressive regime...

4
0

Atos IT workers threaten strike during Olympics over 'living wage'

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: I don't give ATOS

"those fucking annoying automated railway announcements"

I remember when those first started and you had a clearly automated announcer's voice telling you that your train was going to be delayed and then saying "I apologise for any inconvenience" which struck me as the height (or perhaps depths) of insincerity!

3
0

50 years in SPAAAAACE: Telstar celebrates half-century since launch

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Up

@Christoph

Great piece of music! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryrEPzsx1gQ

3
2

KIT drives off with memory win: 1-bit-per-MOLECULE storage

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
WTF?

"The idea is straight-out stupid."

Oh, well no point in trying to develop it further, then...

1
0

Museum of Computing recognised as PROPER MUSEUM

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: Promoting safe computing?

Don't be silly, how can we protect kiddies from all the eeeeevilll paedos and criminals and terrorists out there without State control? (Signed T.May MP )

1
2

Anonymous hack hands WikiLeaks TWO MILLION Syrian emails

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: Right then

Ah, but you see it's *different* when it happens to someone else...!

0
0

Olympus MEG4.0 smart glasses will photoshop the REAL WORLD

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: prescrption glasses

And what about those of us who have ditched glasses for contact lenses...?!

0
0

Ten budget inkjet printers

Graham Marsden
Silver badge

Re: prints black when colour out?

I use an Epson Photo Stylus D88 with a Chip re-setter.

I bought it because it was a cheap ink-jet and I've only ever printed in B&W on it, so every time the chip says the colour cartridges are empty, I just re-set them and get on with it. It may knacker the colour heads, but since I don't use them, I don't care.

(Oh, and buy compatible cartridges too, not the Epson ones where the ink is more expensive than vintage champagne!)

0
0

Wish you were here? NASA rover beams postcard from Mars

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Do my eyes deceive me, or...

I thought that was Elvis...

1
0

Judge: Patent litigants behave like animals

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Up

At last...

...a Judge who gets it!

This patent nonsense (pun intended!) is doing more to restrict development than anything else and the only people benefitting from it are the lawyers.

14
0

Computer error triggers mass rocket launch

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Facepalm

I bet...

... the audience were thinking "Wow! If that's how it starts, what's the rest of it going to be like?! [Long pause] Err..."

4
0

Ten... alien invasions

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Try watching...

I was laughing so hard they just gave up in disappointment!

0
0
Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Happy

Try watching...

... Independance Day and Mars Attacks back to back like I did...!

0
0

BA staff to google for snaps, dirt on biz-class passengers

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Pirate

Sounds more like...

... an exercise in arse kissing to me!

2
0

Google Maps takes shelter from the British summer

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: How long

Exactly! The Oly^H^H^ Big Summer Event won't be uploading any floor plans because that will allow the EEEEVILLLL TERRRERRRRISTS to plan their attacks!!!

0
0

Crafty cuttlefish mimics male and female – at the same time

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Coat

Tommy Cooper...

... used to do a comedy routine like that!

1
0

Brit anti-terror hotline hacker teen pleads guilty

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: ..said to have prevented legitimate callers..

But there could have been people phoning about suspicious characters taking photographs of London landmarks or in Underground stations which obviously means they're planning a terrorist attack or maybe it was someone buying a suspiciously large number of Castor Oil beans (obviously going to make Ricin) or maybe...

... excuse me the Nurse says it's time for my medicine....

1
0

ICANN's overlordship of the internet confirmed again by US gov

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Black Helicopters

"conflict-of-interest"

An American court says that an American company has the right to do what the American Government wants.

Wow, who'd have thunk it?!

2
0

ISP CAN cut off pirates with 'three strike' rule, says Irish beak

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
FAIL

"customers suspected of illegal file-sharing"

And that's the problem, it's not *proven* to have been engaged in illegal file-sharing, but simply *suspected* of it.

Paragraph 2 of Article 6 of the European Convention on Human Rights states "2. Everyone charged with a criminal offence shall be presumed innocent until proved guilty according to law", but it seems that Big Media doesn't need such stringent criteria and can just say "We think you dunnit, so we're cutting you off"!

0
0

Google makes 'proposal' to Europe on antitrust concerns

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Mushroom

'what it described as a "proposal"'

Are you sure it wasn't "An offer they couldn't refuse"??

0
0

Trio of 'nauts plonk down after six-month space station stint

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Boffin

Recycled urine?

Because (almost*) all the water on Earth hasn't been through a set of kidneys in the past...

*For the pedants

2
0

Join the gov consultation on net porn ... and have your identity revealed

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: So is the consultation over?

It was probably over before it began because it looks like they've already decided what answers they want and have "structured" the survey to generate those...

0
0

Governments probe domain land-snatch: many.gTLDs.suck

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Facepalm

"Governments have started...

"...to put ICANN's massive top-level domain name expansion under scrutiny..."

Well, bravo, but it's a bit bloody late, isn't it? People were warning about the potential (probable) debacle this would turn into when it was first proposed, but only now the horse is well and truly over the horizon are the Governments thinking of bolting the stable door!

0
0

Ministers consult public on 'opt in for smut' plans

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Just the latest

Exactly, and what next? Requiring Government permission to buy my business' catalogue of bondage gear? Maybe I'll have to register with HM Inspector of Porn and get a licence?

0
0

Brit global warming skeptics now outnumber believers

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
FAIL

"It would seem that...

"... the more people hear the arguments and study the policies, the less they like them."

Sure, because everyone in that survey has actually paid attention to the arguments and studied the policies and made a rational and sensible decision based on logic and facts.

Or maybe they've just seen so many "Tis!", "Tisn't!", "Tis so!" arguments (not to mention articles in various publications cherry picking data and skewing facts to fit the author's personal bias" that they really don't have a *clue* about the subject now.

3
2

Mighty ROBOT achieves total SUPREMACY over feeble humans

Graham Marsden
Silver badge

Paging Ullr...

So how would the robot fare against Ullr, Norse God of the Hunt and Games who always wins?

(See The Almighty Johnsons for details)

0
0

Australia goes cold on ACTA

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Bonzer...

... mates!

10
0

Patent trolling cost the US $29 BILLION in 2011

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Devil

In other news...

... err hang on, someone's just told me that they have a patent on that expression...!

1
0

NASA counts down to nuclear tank invasion of Mars

Graham Marsden
Silver badge
Alien

O O

This is the voice of the Mysterons...

We know that you can hear us.

Cease your intrusions onto our planet or face our wrath!

Da-da dah da-da dah DUM!

1
0