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* Posts by Graham Marsden

4935 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Britain prepares for government by iPad

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

"They have to agree...

"... to receive documents about parliamentary business on the fondleslabs rather than have that information printed out on paper."

And then they'll dump loads of stuff out to printer anyway, because that's what they're used to...

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European Space Agency heads for Jupiter's moons

Graham Marsden
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Alien

Re: Good choice

"Would we then consider sending probes to the funny little wet blue planet in the inner solar system?"

We did, but we decided the inhabitants were too boring to bother with (apart from some of our Teasers)...

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Graham Marsden
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Hear hear!

But, at present, no large black monoliths have been found...

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Why embossed credit cards are here to stay

Graham Marsden
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Re: see ID

I run a stall at a market once a month and occasionally I get American customers who haven't bothered to sign their cards because they're so used to handing over their driving licence as proof of ID when they use the card.

In any case, if I have to use the manual backup eg because my GPRS terminal won't connect, I phone for authorisation on any transaction which is above my "floor limit" (amount which my card processing company sets). This doesn't guarantee payment, but at least it means that, at the time of the call, the card hasn't been reported lost or stolen.

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iTunes fanbois outraged by Apple's sex-life quiz probe

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Re: @ Graham Marsden

@Steven Roper

Consider what would Apple would be likely to do you you if you answer "yes" to that question...

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Graham Marsden
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Devil

Re: Surely some better questions for Apple owners.

Or "Have you ever jail-broken an Apple device?"...

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Everything Everywhere rolls out the 4G astroturf

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

"leaving one three minutes to build an extra widget"?

Or just more time to download other pointless videos...

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No sex please, we're Telstra

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

"we cannot support anything that is sexist or that is inconsistent with our values"

Those "values" are, presumably, to make arbitrary decisions based on anecdotal evidence and to give credence to whinges from the "We don't like this, so you shouldn't be allowed to see it" brigade...

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New satellite will blow your socks off - and spot them from spaaaace

Graham Marsden
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Coat

"the length of your correspondent's size 13 flip flops"

So will we finally be able to spot Bigfoot?

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Global cop squad busts 36 credit card data-selling sites

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

So can someone tell me...

... exactly *HOW* these sites got hold of this information in the first place??

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Murdoch 'sorry' he didn't shut News of the World years ago

Graham Marsden
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Re: Old point, new presentation

You can make a lot of money pandering to the lowest common denominator, especially when you feed them a diet of salacious tittle-tattle and carefully spun stories that appeal to their prurient interests.

Truth? That's another matter entirely...

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Graham Marsden
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Devil

Murdoch "Sorry"...

... he and his got caught.

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Graham: ICO will blow £3m on IT services

Graham Marsden
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I will...?

Oh, sorry, different Graham...

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Facebook shares URL blacklists with security companies

Graham Marsden
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Devil

Why did I read that as...

... "Two Faced"?!

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Floppy disk drives jam James Bond theme

Graham Marsden
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Re: This stunt was quite common on Commodore 1541 disc drives...

Yep, I heard one playing Amazing Grace many years ago.

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'Asteroid mining company' makes classic hypegasm debut today

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

"the crew of the International Space Station, famously...

"...must drink their own recycled urine"

Right, because on Earth all urine is neatly stored away and never re-enters the water cycle to be drunk again...

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Ofcom probes Sky News over Canoe man email hacks

Graham Marsden
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Re: "they can (theoretically) argue public benefit"

Public benefit does *not* allow them to break the law in order to (possibly) find some putative evidence of other wrong-doing.

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Plumbers of the interwebs vow to kill IP hijacking

Graham Marsden
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ROVER

Orange Alert! Orange Alert!

(Large white weather balloon bounces across the interwebs...)

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Higher ground: plants seeking colder temperatures

Graham Marsden
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Is it...

... the Time of the Preacher? ;-)

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Google founders, James Cameron, go asteroid mining

Graham Marsden
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Now all they need to invent...

... is the Cobra Mark III and a Mining Laser.

Right on, Commander!

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Stray SMS leads to aborted landing

Graham Marsden
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"The story does rather give the lie to concerns that...

"...active mobile phones are a threat to flight safety..."

But they may be a threat to the safety of the dickhead with the loud voice and the exceptionally irritating ring-tone...

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Home Office 'technologically clueless' on web super-snoop law

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

But it's Paedos and Criminals and Terrorists,oh my!

How can anyone argue with that...?!

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Austrian village considers a F**king name change

Graham Marsden
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Project the name onto the clouds?

Look, Intercourse Man, it's the Fucking signal.

You're right, Condom Boy. To the Penismobile!

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Graham Marsden
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Re: solutions people - please!

Carve the name on a 10 tonne lump of granite.

Let's see someone nick that...!

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Spy tech exports from Europe face tighter scrutiny

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

... including China and Saudi Arabia...

... and the United Kingdom if certain Home Secretaries and Intelligence Services get their way...

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Oakley: 'smart' sunglasses ready to shine

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Oakley...

... Thump?

Wasn't that from The Goodies?

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China's bullet trains to get face-invading cameras

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Isn't it fortunate...

... that the only governments who want to use this sort of technology are repressive, dictatorial regimes who have no respect for personal liberties or democratic principles and operate on the basis of "presumed guilty".

We'd never see British Governments trying to introduce anything like that here, would we...???

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Pew study finds one in five Americans still won't go online

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Re: No Good Anyway

And what have the Romans ever done for us...?

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RIP wind power: Minister blows away plans for more turbines

Graham Marsden
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Someone forgot to say...

... "Nar nar, ne nar nar!!!!"

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UK.gov: Firms can't fondle your smart meter privates...

Graham Marsden
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"unless consumers choose to let them see it"

Which just means that there will probably be "By signing up to this or by joining that or by reading the other you automatically consent to allow us to read your meter data unless you jump through lots of hoops to decline" clauses turning up everywhere...

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Two teens cuffed after Blighty's anti-terror hotline hacked

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Re: 'Teens'? WTF This ain't the 51st State yet...

@dotdavid: Probably most of them haven't heard James D Nicol's famous quote about the purity of the English language...

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Developer leaks Microsoft product plans for next two years

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Re: HOORAH

@not_equal_to_null and Dave126

I think your sarcasm detectors are faulty. Please fix them.

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'As seen on TV' claims can't be made about unbranded props

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Re: I can beat that

Even better, at the boat show in Bristol back in (IIRC) the 1980s, there was a little one-man, outboard motor powered catamaran which was advertised with "As seen in the latest James Bond Movie!"

Well, yes, it could be seen in the background if you didn't blink at the wrong moment and were looking in right direction, but the implication was that you'd see Bond riding around on one, which certainly wasn't the case.

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Shuttle Discovery to buzz Washington DC at 1,500 feet

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Re: I see the first post has been deleted...

Really? I was thinking Hugo Drax...

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Dark matter hits you once a minute

Graham Marsden
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Trollface

Re: Looking forward

... to the Daily Express blaming this for the death of Diana...

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Sky News admits two counts of computer hacking

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

Great, more hypocrisy...

... Sky claiming a "public interest" defence sounds like them saying "It's ok to break one law if it upholds a different law"!

Err, no, Sky, that's not how it works. Perhaps you need to hire some lawyers to tell you what is legal *before* you do it, rather than trying to defend what you've done *after* the event.

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'Super rogue wave' scuppers Lego pirate

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Playmobil or...

... erm, nothing to see, move along there...!

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Busted in the US? 'Drop your trousers, sir'

Graham Marsden
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Joke

Re: Hmmm.

@AC - Talking of Merkins, will their strip-search also require to check *for* a merkin in case there's contraband hidden "behind the bush"?!

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Cable-cutting rogue engineer caused ultra fast broadband havoc

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Re: Singapore has banned gum

You'd prefer something like Seattle's Gum Wall?

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Game of Thrones Blu-ray disc set

Graham Marsden
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Re: Best ever?

I agree with mike2R. I'm a big B5 fan, but Game of Thrones takes the whole on-going story arc to a new level with deep plotting and excellent acting combined with absolutely stunning visuals.

This is definitely a series on the "Don't Miss!" list.

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New Intel flash hardness performs faster for less

Graham Marsden
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Re: Reliability ??

@Doug 14 - I agree. I've been looking at the idea of getting an SSD for my C drive, but I talked to a local shop who have currently stopped selling them as they've had about a 50% failure rate and they're getting pi$$ed off with having to deal with so many returns and upset customers!

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Home Sec: Web snoop law will snare PAEDOS, TERRORISTS

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Re: No central database - just lots of little ones

Remember the actual quote was: "There are no plans for any big government database"

Not "We will not create a big government database" but only "there are no plans (yet) for a big government database"...

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Graham Marsden
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Paris Hilton

Re: "Theresa May, writing in The Sun"

"I want to see paedos and terrorists and criminals arrested and I think this is the way to do it" says Temptress Theresa on Page Three of your Soaraway Sun...

Unfortunately, whilst most Page Three stunners might have an excuse for not understanding the subject, you'd expect the Home Secretary to have at least been briefed by someone who *does* comprehend the fact that this sort of mass data troughing will create more problems than it solves whilst the people they're trying to catch switch to communication methods that are much more difficult to trace.

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China purges coup rumours from social media

Graham Marsden
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Alert

"the spreading of so-called ‘rumours’...

"...online has been illegal in China"

And Listening to Rumours is Treasonous, Citizen!

- Your Friend, The Computer.

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Ape sanctuary seeks funds for armed Robo Bonobo

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Re: Android vs Apple market share amongst bonobos?

Groan!

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Graham Marsden
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Mushroom

@Somerset John

True, but remember that this is also obviously Against God's WIll and Unnatural and a Perversion of the Natural Order of Things since clearly had God meant Chimps to talk he would have given them vocal cords!

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Top Italian OPERA boffin steps down after faster-than-light mistake

Graham Marsden
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Re: Did he have to go?

It's probable that there is a lot of politicking going on in the background that we aren't privy to and this is just the result of someone's power play.

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Vote now for the WORST movie EVER

Graham Marsden
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Re: Highlander 2

Highlander 2 did have *one* redeeming feature. After McCleod had killed one immortal and the Quickening was doing its electrical stuff, for a couple of seconds it suddenly reared up like an enormous beast which was actually pretty good. Unfortunately it only lasted a couple of seconds, so the weight of the rest of the crap in the film buried it.

As it is, although I was tempted to vote for Highlander 2, I had to go for the abomination that was the Hitch Hikers Guide film because it promised so much, but absolutely failed to deliver and, even worse, spoiled my memories of the excellent radio series.

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LOHAN demonstrates impressive sucking skills

Graham Marsden
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Or...

... eat porridge through a straw!

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Don't be alarmed - but 545,000 NHS patient files are going online

Graham Marsden
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Re: About bliddy time

"As long as they've designed the system so only healthcare pro's can rummage around in the data, fine."

Except that we all know that that is *not* going to be the case. Someone's going to have made a cockup or leave a password on a piece of paper or feel like having a snoop at someone else's medical records when they're not supposed to (and then perhaps sell that to the tabloids).

If you suffer from something that's life-critical, carry an Alert Bracelet or wear an SOS Talisman or some other such thing to let people know if you're unconscious, anything else can wait until your records (and *only* your records) are accessed as per usual.

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