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* Posts by Graham Marsden

4999 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Crafty cuttlefish mimics male and female – at the same time

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Tommy Cooper...

... used to do a comedy routine like that!

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Brit anti-terror hotline hacker teen pleads guilty

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Re: ..said to have prevented legitimate callers..

But there could have been people phoning about suspicious characters taking photographs of London landmarks or in Underground stations which obviously means they're planning a terrorist attack or maybe it was someone buying a suspiciously large number of Castor Oil beans (obviously going to make Ricin) or maybe...

... excuse me the Nurse says it's time for my medicine....

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ICANN's overlordship of the internet confirmed again by US gov

Graham Marsden
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Black Helicopters

"conflict-of-interest"

An American court says that an American company has the right to do what the American Government wants.

Wow, who'd have thunk it?!

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ISP CAN cut off pirates with 'three strike' rule, says Irish beak

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

"customers suspected of illegal file-sharing"

And that's the problem, it's not *proven* to have been engaged in illegal file-sharing, but simply *suspected* of it.

Paragraph 2 of Article 6 of the European Convention on Human Rights states "2. Everyone charged with a criminal offence shall be presumed innocent until proved guilty according to law", but it seems that Big Media doesn't need such stringent criteria and can just say "We think you dunnit, so we're cutting you off"!

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Google makes 'proposal' to Europe on antitrust concerns

Graham Marsden
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Mushroom

'what it described as a "proposal"'

Are you sure it wasn't "An offer they couldn't refuse"??

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Trio of 'nauts plonk down after six-month space station stint

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Recycled urine?

Because (almost*) all the water on Earth hasn't been through a set of kidneys in the past...

*For the pedants

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Join the gov consultation on net porn ... and have your identity revealed

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Re: So is the consultation over?

It was probably over before it began because it looks like they've already decided what answers they want and have "structured" the survey to generate those...

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Governments probe domain land-snatch: many.gTLDs.suck

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

"Governments have started...

"...to put ICANN's massive top-level domain name expansion under scrutiny..."

Well, bravo, but it's a bit bloody late, isn't it? People were warning about the potential (probable) debacle this would turn into when it was first proposed, but only now the horse is well and truly over the horizon are the Governments thinking of bolting the stable door!

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Ministers consult public on 'opt in for smut' plans

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Re: Just the latest

Exactly, and what next? Requiring Government permission to buy my business' catalogue of bondage gear? Maybe I'll have to register with HM Inspector of Porn and get a licence?

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Brit global warming skeptics now outnumber believers

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

"It would seem that...

"... the more people hear the arguments and study the policies, the less they like them."

Sure, because everyone in that survey has actually paid attention to the arguments and studied the policies and made a rational and sensible decision based on logic and facts.

Or maybe they've just seen so many "Tis!", "Tisn't!", "Tis so!" arguments (not to mention articles in various publications cherry picking data and skewing facts to fit the author's personal bias" that they really don't have a *clue* about the subject now.

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Mighty ROBOT achieves total SUPREMACY over feeble humans

Graham Marsden
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Paging Ullr...

So how would the robot fare against Ullr, Norse God of the Hunt and Games who always wins?

(See The Almighty Johnsons for details)

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Australia goes cold on ACTA

Graham Marsden
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Thumb Up

Bonzer...

... mates!

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Patent trolling cost the US $29 BILLION in 2011

Graham Marsden
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Devil

In other news...

... err hang on, someone's just told me that they have a patent on that expression...!

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NASA counts down to nuclear tank invasion of Mars

Graham Marsden
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Alien

O O

This is the voice of the Mysterons...

We know that you can hear us.

Cease your intrusions onto our planet or face our wrath!

Da-da dah da-da dah DUM!

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MI5 boss: Cyber spies, web-enabled crooks threaten UK economy

Graham Marsden
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Re: One London listed business lost £800m

Perhaps we should put them on the B-Ark...

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Facebook replaces non-Facebook mail addresses on Timeline

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

"Facebook is also attempting to retain its users on the site"

How? By pissing off a huge bunch of them so they go somewhere else?

Bravo, Bitch!

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UK net-biz cleanup squad plans to establish international operations

Graham Marsden
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Childcatcher

"The vast majority...

"... more than 12,900, involved content hosted outside the UK"

Shh! Don't let Theresa May hear you saying that, she needs the "Paedos and Criminals and Terrorists Oh My" arguments to justify introducting more ridiculous laws to control the interwebs in this country...

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RBS IT cockup: This sort of thing can destroy a bank, normally

Graham Marsden
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"how many of those customers are sufficiently pissed off to move?"

I've looked at this and, because of the way I organise my finances, there's really no benefit for me to move from Nat West to any other bank as there's nothing to stop them having a similar cock-up in the future.

Ok, it was a PITA when I only had £15 in my wallet and couldn't get any more cash out, but it wasn't an absolute disaster. Yes, I could set up a second, back-up, account and leave some money in there, but it would be doing sod all (and earning sod all interest!) and it's not worth doing just in case my main bank (whichever it may be) goes tits up again.

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Are you a hot BABE in heels and a short skirt? SCIENCE is for YOU

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

"Everyone seems to be commenting on the intro clip...

"...and ignoring those showing the scientists, engineers, and students describing their work."

Probably because they're thinking "What a load of patronising BS" after watching the intro which makes them completely disinclined to look any further.

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European Parliament prepares for crucial ACTA vote

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

@btrower

"ALL of copyright is a dangerous fiction. There is no proper way to square copyright with the public good in the age of computer networks. Without copyright, every one of us would essentially have access to the entirety of the world's intellectual and cultural output going back into the mists of time. Freeing this material would make the world a much, much better place"

Nonsense! Those who create works have the right to exploit those works themselves and be paid for their work and effort in developing them. Why should someone bother to create *anything* if there is no protection from them being ripped off?

We have "access to the entirety of the world's intellectual and cultural output going back into the mists of time" except that which is most recently created, the problem is the "copyright industry" which wants to control access to "life plus 75 years" which is ludicrous.

Also "patents are also a dangerous fiction" is also nonsense. However we need to fix the ridiculous situation of "software patents" or frivolous ones, especially when such patents are clearly based on prior art.

But that is not the same as getting rid of the whole system which you seem to want.

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Windows 8 'harder for malware to exploit', says security analysis

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

"The technology is aimed at...

"...thwarting the abuse of software bugs rather than preventing or even minimising the occurrence of vulnerabilities in the first place. "

So what they're metaphorically doing, instead of fixing the locks and the broken windows(!), is hiring more security guards to patrol the building in the hope of catching the bad guys before they do too much harm...

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Tech fault at RBS and Natwest freezes millions of UK bank balances

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Re: What is

Wasn't it a rather naff film...?

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EU boffins ponder robot copters that carry people but no pilots

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

"solving Europe's road congestion"

Alternatively, instead of trying to "solve" the problem by creating a new one (how to control these mini-copters), how about making it easier for people to get from A to B without the massive waste of space that involves putting *one* person in a vehicle designed to carry four (or five, or seven)?

It's all very well to whinge about "independence" etc, but when you're doing the same journey, day in, day out, how many times will you actually *need* that independence? On that day, fine, use your own car, but don't be selfish and think "well, I *might* need it so I'll take it today, and tomorrow, and the next few days too..."

Make it easier for people to ride bicycles or motorbikes. Put more money into mass transit systems. For example down here in Portsmouth there was a plan for a light transit system to take the load off the M275, London Road and Eastern Road which are the only three ways off Portsea Island (and if one gets blocked, it can gridlock the whole city!) but that was cancelled when the DfT refused it funding back in 2005, so we're stuck with lots of people driving out of the city in the morning, then back in in the evening which is ludicrously wasteful.

Such systems are hardly rocket science, we just need the will to make them happen!

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Australia sanguine on Assange-to-Ecuador, would fight US extradition

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@John Wilson

What Sweden considers "rape" and "serious sexual assault", however, may not be what other countries think those terms mean.

Not only that, however, Sweden doesn't necessarily prosecute such cases on "beyond reasonable doubt", but rather on the principle of "if we believe the witnesses" see http://www.newsmill.se/print/30405 for more details.

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Ludicrously lucky teen survives spear through brain

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

If it was his friend hit by this...

... it would probably have missed his brain by three feet.

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Top US Senator to Apple, Google: 'Curb your spy planes'

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

"intelligence that could aid terrorists"

Well, were the Senator to actually *use* some intelligence he'd probably realise that he might as well piss up a rope for all the good that it will do him.

His plan makes as much sense as all those Jobsworth "Community Support Officers" etc trying to stop tourists from taking pictures of London landmarks.

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Whitehall goes to White House for advice on 'ID assurance' plans

Graham Marsden
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FAIL

OIX?

Pronounced "Oiks"?

Oik : "a member of the lower classes" - en.wiktionary.org/wiki/oik

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Facebook shells out $10m for using users faces in adverts

Graham Marsden
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Pirate

I'm going to change my FB user pic...

... now should I use the one with my trousers around my ankles and bending over? Or perhaps the one holding the sign saying "Facebook Sucks"? Or maybe...

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'Jogobot' lures lonely lardies

Graham Marsden
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Terminator

Run, Fleshy one...

... RUN!

Oops, have you had a heart attack? Mwahahaha!

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America's X-37B top-secret spaceplane returns to Earth

Graham Marsden
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Terminator

Or maybe...

... it was refusing to obey the orders of the weak fleshy ones...!

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Mystery buyer scoops working Apple 1 at auction

Graham Marsden
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Coat

'Jobs signed off the neon...

'...with a Buddhist phrase "gate gate paragate parasangate bodhi svahdl"'

A neon? I hope he achieved enlightenment then.

(And, yes, I know this should have been sent as a correction because someone probably let auto-correct do the work for them, but the pun was too good to resist!)

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Supreme Court dismisses Assange bid to reopen extradition case

Graham Marsden
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@Ben Tasker

"there's a common saying that innocent men don't run"

Yes, and it's as much BS as "If you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear."

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

You don't have to PROVE your innocence!

The law says you are PRESUMED to be innocent UNLESS and UNTIL you are PROVEN guilty!

But that's not good enough for some people...

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May 2012 was second warmest on record. The warmest? 2010

Graham Marsden
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@Ken Hagen

"How do you propose to apply the methods of experimental science to the current climate without taking any readings of current weather?"

Did I say that? Err, no.

Neither did I say that they were entirely unconnected. I am aware that Climate is Weather measured over a long period, unfortunately some people seem to think that just because we've had the wettest/ driest/ suniest/ whatever week on record that that means something.

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Graham Marsden
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Boffin

For those who need reminding...

... Weather != Climate

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Asteroid zips past Earth

Graham Marsden
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Mushroom

/me

ducks. Phew! That was a close one...

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'Scientists' seek to set world social, economic, tech policy at Rio+20

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Type 2 Diabetes is "people's fault"?

Try telling that to Billie-Jean King, winner of more tennis titles than I can remember, stil active and definitely not obese, yet she has Type 2 diabetes.

Yep, the truth definitely hurts.

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Scots council: 9-yr-old lunch blogger was causing 'distress and harm'

Graham Marsden
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The council have just backed down...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-18454800

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Home Office spunks another £12.8m on face recog tech

Graham Marsden
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Paris Hilton

Facial recognition?

Yep, that's definitely a face! Can I have my £12.8, please

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Facebook changes data-use policy despite 87% poll opposition

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Re: FB can push as many ads at me as they like..

I can look at the right hand side of the screen too, but I don't see anything since I installed AdBlock Plus!

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Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Invidious Aardvark

It's clear that you don't run a business either.

One complaint may be a lone nutcase, ten complaints suggests that there's actually going to be a *lot* more people out there who aren't happy, but haven't put finger to keyboard to say so., however none the less that should most certainly set alarm bells ringing and not simply generate an attitude of "well, it's only a few people, let's just ignore them" because if (and when) they're offered a better alternative, they're likely to desert your business in droves.

Your understanding of how such things work is weak.

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Music SEVEN times more valuable to UK plc than first thought

Graham Marsden
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Devil

Re: dont forget

And every time you copy a song a fairy dies!

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Smart meters are 'massive surveillance' tech - privacy supremo

Graham Marsden
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@Larry F54

"I'm surprised. I thought most washing machines (as well as dishwashers) these days had built-in delay timers."

Not the one I've got and to replace it would just be more wasteful.

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Blighty's new anti-bribe law will do more HARM than good

Graham Marsden
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Re: Oh for god's sake

"If it's not acceptable over here then don't do it over there either. "

It's all very well saying "play a straight bat, keep it above board, don't play their dirty games", but, especially in the current economic climate, the vast majority of businesses are going to play whatever games they can and by whatever rules are available in order to clinch a contract.

You don't like it, I don't like it, but the other option is risking bankruptcy.

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W3C: 'Do not track' by default? A thousand times: NO!

Graham Marsden
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Devil

"We have noticed...

"... that you appear to have switched off an important feature of your browser which will enable us to enhance your customer experience and provide you with a better service.

"You can proceed, however you will not get the full benefit of our website, so please click here to switch it back on..."

(Website announcement that fell through a wormhole from a couple of years in the future)

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Menaced cartoonist raises $60,000 for copywrong

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

"You seem to be trolling"?

Paging Mr Pott and Mr Kettle-Black...

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Hardy handymen handed handy hardened handheld hardware

Graham Marsden
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Re: Better, Reg Headline Dept.

I didn't even read the article, I just loved the sub-heading!

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China makes human rights play ... but forgets the internet

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

"Human Rights are...

"... what WE say you can have..."

Sorry, which country were we talking about again?

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Western consumption helping to kill off species

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Does anyone else think...

... that map from the University of Sydney looks a bit like the board game Pandemic?

Just sayin' ;-)

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Fate of dot-word bids decided by ICANN archery shoot-out

Graham Marsden
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Devil

"notable domain name investor Frank Schilling"

"domain name investor"?

I'm sure there's another name for that...

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