Don't forget...

... that several prominent rock musicians (eg Ozzy Osborne to name just one) thought that This is Spinal Tap was real because they had had events like getting lost backstage actually happen to them!

@Flashy Red

"All operators"? Or all *Apple Approved* operators? And don't forget that you will need to get the operators to *agree* to let you switch...

"The craft is insured for 1.2 billion roubles (£24.7m)"

I agree with ratfox, this sounds suspiciously like an insurance job...! ;-)

Boulderdash!

A classic old game which El Reg should do a retrospective of :-)

Also...

... household chemicals have warnings printed on them, so do cars "Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear", plus you have to take a driving test but not a firearms test, hot tubs have warnings and thermostats...

Music!!!

Ah yes, "The Good, The Bad and the Lemmings", "How Much is that Lemming in the Window" and, of course the classic "Oh Little Town of Bethle-lem"! :-)

it's written into law...

... that the burden of proof is on the bank, not the customer.

Right, and that's guaranteed to stop banks from trying to fob customers off with "It's your fault, we're not paying out" claims...!

Loud pipes...

... don't save lives so much as good observation and proper riding plans do, they just piss off other people *after* you've gone past because they'll be hearing you for the next mile.

The only problem I see with electric drive is that makes it harder to judge your speed "by ear" simply by knowing what note your engine makes in which gear.

Oh and as for "88 mph that will get you little cred from the local two-wheeled community" that's bollocks, as long as you can flick it through the twisties, that's what matters!

Da da dum...

... Da da dah dum!

(I actually had the Captain Scarlet uniform when I was *very* young!)

Dark Skies...

... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0115151/

@Thats ok then

Yep, let's hear it for Weasel Clauses! "You have these rights, apart from the times when we decide that you shouldn't be allowed them"

"When's that?"

"Oh, whenever we feel like it..."

This is what worries me about the idea of this country having a written Constitution, it's a great idea, but unless rights are stated as absolutes, this sort of weaseling means that rights are only granted at the behest of the state and can be taken away at their whim :-(

@jake

"I can get anything I will ever need in life within a two hour's round-trip from where I sit as I type"

Do you have nothing better to do than spend a couple of hours driving to buy something when, instead, you could get it with a few clicks of a mouse?

And how much petrol (or diesel) do you burn whilst doing that? And how much does that item cost? Are you really willing to spend extra time and money buying something from someone with a steady gaze and a firm handshake (something which any con-man worth his salt naturally practices carefully) when you can get it cheaper and more easily and delivered to your door just so you can avoid using cards?

@Jonski

And I was just about to upvote you for what seemed to be an amusing post...!

@Grease Monkey

So TomTom gives you the ability to report map errors, but instead of doing so (by activating the button that lets you record the position of a map error), you choose, instead, to bitch about the fact that it's *their* responsibility to fix the mistakes.

Of course given that you won't *tell* them where the mistakes are...

BTW You might try installing TomTom Home on your PC, in which case you can connect your Sat Nav up to it, click on the button that runs a simulation of the device on screen and then access the locations of the map errors and type in details from your keyboard at your convenience.

Technology, it's wonderful if you actually try using it properly...

@Christoph

Surely that's ++ungood :-)

@Titus Technophobe

Ah, now you're trying to use me as a scapegoat for your failure to understand what an ad hominem argument is.

Feel free to have the last word, I've wasted enough time on this.

@Titus Technophobe

Your whole post boils down to one single point: "if it addresses these attitudes [...] ‘pour encourager les autres’"

If you're not aware, the origin of that comment was in Voltaire's Candide and was in reference to the execution of Admiral John Byng for failing to relieve the beseiged British Garrison at Minorca

Byng was effectively made a scape-goat for the British Government and Admiralty's failure to do *their* job properly by a) not acting in time to deal with the expected French attack on Minorca and b) sending Byng out with ships that were undermanned and in a poor state of repair.

So you're looking to do pretty much the same, find a scapegoat to blame for *your* failures and if that requires locking them up for four years, well, that's not your problem, is it?

The fact that "make an example of them" sentences have been shown throughout history to be abject failures in dealing with the root causes of problems seems to be of no concern to you either.

@Titus Technophobe

Ah, right, so you're talking about a parenting failure.

Still, nice to see that, rather than learning from such mistakes (or, even better, teaching children a bit of common sense so they don't happen in the first place ) you're in favour of locking them up for four years instead.

@AC

"my job involves teaching students to become programmers."

Hey, I've had a great idea for solving your coursework problem, so I'm going to patent it, then if anyone else comes up with the same solution I can sue them and pay off my student loans with *their* money!!

@Graham Dawson

'would you rather give people the power to have every post critical of, say, Orlowski removed from this site because it was "defamation"?'

Ah, but they never even get published in the first place if Andrew sees them first...!

(Bet this one won't either...)

@Marvin the Martian

Regrettably, now, under one of the Thought Crime laws that Blair's minions brought in, "two girls [...] dressed in school uniform and [...] about to kiss" could be classed as kiddie porn since they're in school uniform, so it's possible to assume that they're under age.

What this does to St Trinian's films I don't know, but it's probably not good.

@Titus Technophobe

How do you "inadvertently" have "a Face book inspire party" held in your house?

I suggest you might look at de-friending a few idiots rather than demanding they get four year jail sentences!

@These scrotes incite a riot

To paraphrase an old quote: "What if they gave a riot but nobody came?"

Not long after the recent riots, just down the road from me a party got out of hand with over 100 people turning up after word got out via Twatter etc.

The Police managed to herd them out of the side roads and contain them, but some drunken idiots "for a laugh" apparently started chanting "we're going to riot".

There was no riot, very little damage was caused, but should those idiots also get four year sentences?

Ironically...

... one of the things that helped Bletchley Park crack Enigma was when the Germans used three letter codes to initialise the rotor positions and often used HIT which was followed by, of course, LER for the encrypted message setting!

@"Investigate mail that goes missing"

Even if you *KNOW* something has gone missing because you sent it, the Post Office will just say "Fill in this form, send it to us and eventually, after you've allowed three weeks for it to turn up, fob you off with a letter saying 'if it is important you should pay extra for Recorded or Special Delivery and there's nothing else we can do'".

Been there, done that...

@TRT

Curses, that was going to be my comment! :-)

I've just heard from the Catholic Church...

... who are claiming royalties from everyone for using the Gregorian Calendar...!