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* Posts by Graham Marsden

4983 posts • joined 19 Jan 2007

Jail time promised for false tweets in China

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

Listening to rumours...

... is Treasonous, Citizen!

- Your friend, The Computer

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Brit and Danish boffins propose NSA-proof crypto for cloud computing

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

"your data will remain secure even if everybody else is compromised"

Great, but who are you going to tell...?!

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400 million Chinese people can't speak Chinese: Official

Graham Marsden
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Happy

Re: Lìngrén jingyì!

Shiny!

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Shop-a-suspect web security system: 'We've helped cops nab 100 suspects'

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

And what...

... is the False Positive Rate? How many people were arrested and then found *not* to be criminals?

Or don't we get told that because it makes their scheme look less good in the media?

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Kamikaze Moon mission on track as NASA grips its tumbling LADEE

Graham Marsden
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Re: 622Mb/sec. From the Moon.

I bet their roaming charges are out of this world...

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Ofcom's head Ed may yet run the Beeb: UK gov 'mulls axing BBC Trust'

Graham Marsden
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Do I hear the sound...

... of axe grinding...?

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Assange fails in bid for election to Australian Senate

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

@jake - Re: Gee, you think?

Have you *looked* at the people who are being elected to office in the US or the UK or several other countries too?!

They're not just deluded, some of them are bat-shit crazy!

And you don't get a choice of candidate, you just get whoever the other nutcases tell you you're getting because they think the same way...

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UK investor throws £14.8m at firm that makes UNFORGEABLE 2-cent labels

Graham Marsden
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@cornz 1 - Re: Hmm... little pins and a physical test, eh?

Now try the following experiment: Print a load of pages with OEM black ink. Then print a load with compatible ink. Spot the difference (hint: check your wallet).

(PS Oh, and yes, now you can get cheap B&W laser printers, but I have an inkjet that's about 6 years old and still works fine, so I have no need to change it)

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OK, forget the 3D telly fiasco: 4K is gonna blow you away - say tech giants

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

All that resolution....

... won't make a crap programme any better!

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Reports: NSA has compromised most internet encryption

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

Presenting - The Ghost of Senator Joe McCarthy

"the nature of the connections was not described in the document."

Hmm: "Are you, or have you ever been connected to Al Qaeda, Hezbollah, Hamas, or have you ever watched a documentary about them on TV...?"

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Australia's anti-smut internet filter blueprint lasts LESS THAN A DAY

Graham Marsden
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WTF?

As has recently been achieved in the United Kingdom...

... really? Did I miss something? Exactly when was the following achieved?:

* involve mobile phone operators installing adult content filters on phones which will be switched on as the default unless the customer proves he or she is at least 18 years of age; and

* involve major internet service providers providing home network filters for all new home broadband services, which will be switched on as the default unless the customer specifies otherwise.

Unless by "achieved" they actually mean "comprehensively demonstrated to be utterly impossible to introduce or enforce"...

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Hunt's 'paperless', data-pimping NHS plan gets another £240m

Graham Marsden
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Holmes

*Every* day...

... is National "Overspend on Government IT Projects" day!

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Gov IT write-off: Universal Credit system flushes £34m down toilet

Graham Marsden
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Fixed that for you...

"one can't help but HOPE that Duncan Smith will be the latest and most high-profile victim of the Universal Credit catastrophe."

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Boffinry breakthrough OF THE DECADE: Teens 'influenced' by friends

Graham Marsden
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Alert

@frankl ly - Re: Time for some social engineering

Reading books *while* crossing the road?! ;-)

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Forget Mars: Let's get someone on the Moon – NASA veteran

Graham Marsden
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Alert

Re: Great idea!

Just as long as it's not an Illudium Pu-38 Explosive Space Modulator.

We don't need any Earth-shattering Kabooms!

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Graham Marsden
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" we were told to stay away from it by the aliens..."

... I thought that was Europa?

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Ofcom launches idiot's guide to traffic-shaping

Graham Marsden
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Bus Lane? Try Ford Lane.

What Ofcom seem to be missing is that if you're streaming your content from one your Broadband Provider's "approved suppliers" (ie themselves or one they get a kick-back from) then your traffic is prioritised over someone who is streaming from a non-approved supplier.

This is the equivalent of having a "Ford Cars Only" lane on the motorway because Ford have struck a deal with the DfT to charge their customers a fee to use that lane and pay the DfT a percentage. Other cars aren't allowed to use that lane because their manufacturers aren't paying the Government for the privilege.

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AT&T helping US drug cops in 'vast, troubling' phone snoop scheme

Graham Marsden
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@Matt Bryant - Re: Smart move, splitting the opposition.

If they're so clever to "split the opposition" they should have included Kiddie Fiddlers and Terrorists because we "soft liberals" are so dumb that we can't see this tactic for what it is.

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Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

@AC - Re: So forget about presumption of innocence

"if they are monitoring a know person surely this helps them to identify links to their criminal associates so they can be investigated too"

And if that person happens to call your number by mistake and you get identified as a "criminal associate" because of a False Positive, how are you going to prove your innocence (because you sure as hell won't be presumed innocent any more)?

Lots of things can be used for "a huge amount of good" like National DNA databases, ID Cards, country-wide ANPR systems, the fact that they also pi$$ all over fundamental liberties is just an unfortunate side-effect...

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Bionym bracelet promises to replace passwords with ECG biometrics

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

Heartbeat...? Gesture activation...?

I wonder what would happen if somone's engaged in a bit of "one handed browsing"?!

Glasses because...

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Watchdog mulls SOCA's secret dossier of private dicks 'hired to hack, blag'

Graham Marsden
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Coat

Operation Millipede?

Hmm, that operation has legs...

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Vietnam crimps online freedom of speech with 'Decree 72'

Graham Marsden
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Alert

@AC - Re: Remind me again:

"It's Communism, so in any practical implementation you've got a self-perpetuating State which acts soley in the best interest of whoever they feel like, normally themselves."

Isn't it great that we, in the West, live in a free society so we don't have the same problems with a small elite running the country to suit themselves and the vested interests of their mates and financial backers...

[/cynic]

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ICANN destroys Google's dotless domain dream

Graham Marsden
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Kerching!

So lots of money for ICANN for the application process, now they can look forward to even more money as businesses have to defensively register their domains with another load of suffixes!

Trebles all round!

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Beat the UK's incoming smut filter: Pre-censor your grumble flicks

Graham Marsden
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Joke

Thank you Mr Cameron!

Now we don't have to be corrupted by the eeeevilll porn and we can just enjoy the intelligent dialogue, magnificent acting and wonderful music without all the disgusting sex spoiling the fun!

(Icon because Cameron's ideas are a complete joke)

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Science fiction titan Frederik Pohl dies, aged 93

Graham Marsden
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Unhappy

I only started reading Pohl recently...

... I picked up a copy of The Space Merchants in a charity shop and, whilst reading it, I had to flick back to the front to check what date it was actually written because it seemed so appropriate for today!

A sad loss :-(

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WIN a RockBLOCK Iridium satellite comms module

Graham Marsden
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MINGE

Miniature In-flight Navigator Gadget Eliminator

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Baffled boffins 'closer' to finding origins of extragalactic COSMIC RAYS

Graham Marsden
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Re: Never mind the physics

@YAC - I was just thinking that that building would make a great Secret Lair from where I could RULE THE WORLD!!!!!

(Mines the white canvas one with the long sleeves and extra straps...)

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Boffin snatches control of colleague's BODY with remote control BRAIN HAT

Graham Marsden
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Re: Help me out here...!

Aha! No, it wasn't Heinlein's Waldo, but you just jogged a memory because the story does refer to the device as a "waldo".

It was "More than the Sum of His Parts" by Joe Haldeman from his short-story collection "Dealing in Futures".

Thanks for your help!

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Graham Marsden
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Help me out here...!

I was going to cite a sci-fi story as Prior Art, but I can't remember the name of it (or even who wrote it, but it might have been Philip K Dick or Roger Zelazny) and I've not found it by searching :-(

IIRC it concerns someone who has lost an arm and had a cybernetic replacement, however suffers what would later be described in the Cyberpunk RPG as "Humanity Loss". He tries to get the surgeons to replace the rest of his body but they refuse, so he locks himself in a room with a computerised surgical device intending to carry out the procedure on himself.

The scientists stop him by hooking a lab tech up to a device which remotely controls the arm to punch himself on the chin (decapitating him!) and the arm is then connected to a Doctor who ends by saying something like "What miracles I shall perform..."

So can anyone remind me what the story is and who wrote it?

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Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@jib

Boffin is certainly not demeaning, it's a term of respect and endearment for those clever "Back-room Boys" who come up with wonderful inventions like Radar, the Bouncing Bomb and other such things which are of use to those who actually need them.

People like Barnes Wallis or even Q from the Bond Films are archetypal Boffins and they would be honoured to be described as such!

(Boffin icon!)

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Revealed: HUNGRY frosty Arctic cleft that could eat 2 Grand Canyons

Graham Marsden
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Alien

Have they found...

... a huge abandoned city of cubes and cones, though?

Tekeli-li! Te-ke-li-li!

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Indian government to bar politicians from using Gmail for official business

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Gmail?!

You mean the mail service that, by using, you automatically give Google permission to read all your mails?!

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Skype: 3D video calling is the FUTURE

Graham Marsden
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Angel

And of course...

... the first adopters of this will be those ladies who charge you several pounds a minute for a video chat.

... erm, at least that's what I've heard...

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Dopey dope-growing dope smoked out by own dope dope-growing vid

Graham Marsden
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Boffin

@Stratman - Re: My inner libertarian says

The reason there are those gangs "making a fortune out of smuggling cigarettes and alcohol" is because successive British governments have been stupidly greedy and keep putting up the tax on these products (IIRC something like 75% of the price of a pack of cigarettes is tax) to avoid having to put up other taxes.

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Graham Marsden
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@Goldmember - Re: So exactly...

You forgot to say the magic word...

"Enhance!"

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We've cracked riddle of ANTIGRAVITY mountains on Saturn's Titan - boffins

Graham Marsden
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Re: It's clear: Those mountains are hollow!

I blame the Sirens...

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NASA's nuclear Mars tank REBELS against human control

Graham Marsden
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Are you sure...

.... it's not Howard Wolowitz with his "Hey, baby. How would you like to drive a car on Mars?" line...?

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Meet the world's one-of-a-kind ENORMO barge-bowling bridge of Falkirk

Graham Marsden
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Happy

@Phil O'Sophical - Re: Your correspondent explains to some children how they ought to be doing it

"In my experience that message is more likely to be in the Child ->Adult direction, in a suitably exasperated 8-year-old voice."

That reminds me of the picture I saw of a small child on the telephone (with one hand doing a face-palm) and the caption "No, grandma, double-click on the Internet Explorer icon..."

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UK gov call-centre serfs told: Fondle your button for HAPPINESS

Graham Marsden
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Devil

"If you are really unhappy and would like an electric shock to be delivered to the operative"

... "Excuse me, I'd like to escalate my complaint..."

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Botched court doc outs Google as respondent in national security flap

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Can I just say....

... Oh ████!

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Guardian teams up with New York Times for future Snowden GCHQ coverage

Graham Marsden
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Happy

The thick...

... plottens!

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Nasty BOFHses. It burns us! It burns...

Graham Marsden
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@Ragarath - Re: The Smell!

Surprisingly not.

A market I sell at used to be in a basement venue, the toilets of which emptied into a large tank that then pumped the effluent into the sewers. Unfortunately the day before the market the piping broke and the venue ended up ankle deep in....

They brought in a specialist cleaning company and by the next day you wouldn't even have known there was a problem except for the fact that the concrete floors were the cleanest they'd ever been!

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Kim Kardashian's bosom pal in bling snatch Instagram unpleasantness

Graham Marsden
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Facepalm

Re: "money can't buy you taste..."

... it can't buy you sense either!

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Hacktivists boast of English Defence League KO after website downed

Graham Marsden
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Unhappy

@moiety

Unfortunately, unlike BDSM, you don't get the chance to say "No" and have your choice respected.

There again, the EDL also seem to be of the mindset that "You're free to say or do anything you want, provided we agree with it..."http://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/graphics/icons/comment/unhappy_32.png

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Graham Marsden
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FAIL

@AC - Re: Yeah, just because you disagree with someone..

"They are not welcome online, that's all."

Unlike all those nasty pornographic sites that the Government wants to block by default...?

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Four ways the Guardian could have protected Snowden – by THE NSA

Graham Marsden
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Big Brother

"he may have been stopped even if he was carrying nothing but his phone"

I don't doubt he would. It seems this was as much about intimidation as a fishing expedition.

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Microsoft fights Google for kids' attention with ad-free Bing for Schools

Graham Marsden
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Pirate

"the automatic blocking of pornography"

That sounds like a challenge...

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Oh noes! New 'CRISIS DISASTER' at Fukushima! Oh wait, it's nothing. Again

Graham Marsden
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@AC Re: At the risk of...

" it's easy to say "No concerns!" when you're not the one living there."

Meanwhile, thousands of people keep dying in road accidents or from lung cancer due to smoking or liver failure due to alcohol or...

... but they don't make for headlines which boost viewing/ reading figures.

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Fame-hating planets don't need to hang around STARS – boffins

Graham Marsden
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Re: Don't really understand why this is surprising

That's exactly what I was thinking.

What is the difference between Jupiter and a Brown Dwarf? It's only the size of the original cloud of matter which would restrict the formation of a sun.

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